How to forget a bad memory. Forgetting methods
May 26th, 2018
As children, each of us had to memorize a lot new information. Remember how adults advised you to sleep after cramming and how the lines of a poem simply popped into your head in the morning. Repetition and sleep are the two main principles of forming strong neural connections in the brain: the more you focus on a subject, the better new knowledge is consolidated. But free space not much in my head. To learn to control your memory and develop, you first need to learn how to correctly forget unnecessary information. Luckily, our brains have something like a special delete button.
Paths of the mind
Memory training develops synaptic connections between neurons: dopamine, serotonin and other neurotransmitters travel along these “paths”. Glial cells, which also have their own antagonists - microglial cells, are responsible for the speed of signal transmission between neurons. They will be of interest to us today.
I remember here, but I don’t remember here
Microglial cells control synaptic connections and trim “extra” ends. To be honest, geneticists themselves do not yet fully understand how a microglial cell recognizes which synaptic connection is no longer needed. There are suggestions that unnecessary elements are marked with a special protein.
Why is this necessary?
Roughly speaking, by pruning unnecessary synaptic connections (in the scientific community, the process is called synaptic pruning), the brain controls the state of its “cache,” freeing up space for the formation of new connections. There would be no microglial cells and there would be no problems with education: the space in the head has run out and you can’t learn anything more.
Short term memory
Learning previously unknown information initiates the formation of new neural connections - the so-called short-term memory. Roughly speaking, the brain is a quick fix creates several fragile paths along which your neurons run. To create a reliable information structure, the brain will need a reboot.
Working in a dream
Sleep is such a reboot for the body. During the deep sleep phase, brain cells shrink to 60% of their daily size. This occurs in order to make room for microglial cells, which are set to destroy unnecessary synaptic connections. A clear head and easy awakening in the morning are a signal that synaptic pruning was successful.
Do not delete
With a special protein, the mind marks the synaptic connections that are least used during the day. You spend most of your time computer games, do you study a little English in the evening? Then don't be surprised by the quality and quantity useful information, remaining in the head. Microglial cells will sensibly appreciate that more time is allocated for important matters and will helpfully leave memories of how to complete “Super Mario 6” in all details, but English can be deleted.
Designing the brain
In general, everything is arranged as simply as possible. What you focus on most of the time will be your priority in developing strong synaptic connections. Try to control your emotions about what is happening around you: the degree of reaction to your surroundings seems to indicate important details. This is where waving your fists after a fight and other thoughts about how you should have responded to the offender come from - you were too focused on the situation and the brain decided to form a separate strong synaptic network for it.
Each of us has our own past, which stores different memories, pleasant and not so pleasant, good and those that we don’t want to remember. If only we could remove from our memory all the difficult moments that have ever happened to us. Just take it and forget it, erase it, throw it out of the storage of our memory. But is it possible to get rid of them so easily? Most often, it is negative experience and events, most of all, sit in us and periodically emerge, preventing us from moving on. And no matter how hard you try to get rid of them, you can’t do anything with them.
The past, especially if there were many different unpleasant moments in it, affects our present and future. And until you let him go, you will continue to live in the past. And this will bring you nothing but pain. They say that a person is happy only when he is completely in the present moment of life. Only the present makes sense, because only in it can you change something and lay the foundations for the future that you want to have.
Let's understand a little about how our brain remembers something. So, any event that remains in memory is preserved along with the feelings and emotions that arise at that moment. All 5 senses are involved here. For example, have you ever felt that the smell alone could bring up a memory? It could also be a certain gesture, place, picture, sound. It is the emotions that you experienced during that event that make you return to it again and again. Negative emotions are more memorable because they put the whole body under stress. It is with them that we will deal further.
Of course, it is impossible to erase any memory from your head, but you can remove its influence on you. This is what we will talk about next. How to remove the consequences of such negative events? Here are a few ways you can do so that memories no longer burden your future life.
First of all, if you want to get rid of some memories, you will need remove all things that connect you with this event. Don't be sorry to get rid of them. They are the ones who bring you back to this memory. As long as they are with you, you will remember. This applies not only to things, but also to the place where something happened. Try not to visit these places for a while, go around them until the negativity goes away. This is only for a while until you can safely pass there. It happens that specific people they prevent you from forgetting the past. Every time you communicate with them and meet them, your thoughts are back in the past.
Stop communicating with these people, at least for a while, or completely exclude them from your social circle. And you will see how it becomes easier for you. As long as they are with you, it will be difficult for you to forget everything that was connected with them. So the first step is to get rid of everything and everyone that you intend to forget.
A change of environment has a positive effect. If something very unpleasant or painful happened to you, and you want to forget it as soon as possible, go on vacation. To a calm, quiet place where you can rest your soul and “heal your wounds.” This works very well. Don’t deny yourself anything there, pamper yourself a little, get new positive emotions. And you will be surprised when you return. There is no longer any negativity from the past, since positive emotions have overshadowed the negative ones. A change of environment is almost like starting life from scratch. A wonderful opportunity to change the future for the better.
Another way - understand what happened and reflect on it. This will allow you to look at events from a different perspective. You can’t change anything in the past, but you can change your attitude towards what happened. Take everything apart and try to see the positive and good in it. After all, every situation teaches you something, teaches you some lesson, makes you wiser and stronger. Next time you won't find yourself in similar situation or you can easily cope with it, without emotions. In fact, everything that happens to us is only for our benefit, teaches us life and helps us build it. Take a closer look at the past and feel the present. Would I be the person I am today without the past I have? No, it was the past that made you who you are now. Be grateful for this. You can write it down for yourself positive sides in what happened. This will help change your attitude.
The next method, the simplest but most effective, is wait. What to expect you ask? Wait for the emotions to stop raging in you and subside. And everything will disappear by itself. Any emotion sooner or later passes or is replaced by another. As they say, time heals, this words of wisdom. Quietly wait until everything is calm inside again. You will stop mentally returning to the past so often, emotions will go away, everything will gradually be forgotten, and you will calm down. Of course, the first time will be difficult, but nothing comes easy, wait out this period and that’s it. As a rule, only the first month is difficult, then it will be easier.
AND last method, do something new. Start attending courses and trainings. Play sports, it adds happiness hormones. read interesting fascinating books, watch good films. You can learn some new skill, for example, needlework, drawing, pottery, master musical instrument. While you are doing what you love, thoughts about the past will visit you less often. It will distract you and give you good emotions. Try to do your job well, and you will be glad that you succeed.
And finally, you can use new methods discovered in modern psychology. If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, then turn to professionals. Here you will find a lot of ways - from a regular psychologist to various practices and trainings. There are many techniques in this area, they all really work. Some work with very old memories on a subconscious level that you are not even aware of. Here you can choose what suits you. So take action and have good memories.
In every person's life there are incidents that one would like to forget. Any memory brings incredible pain. Of course, over time it becomes dull, but a person wants to completely forget about the bad. This can be done in several ways.
Negative memories arise after a person has experienced events that caused him anger, fear, resentment, hatred or disappointment.
To try to let go of any memories, you need to understand that it is thoughts and thoughts about him that bring pain. Many people are simply unable to understand who exactly is to blame for what happened exactly like this. There is no need to replay in your head many times what has already happened. This will help you forget bad memories as quickly as possible.
It will be best when you once objectively evaluate the entire current situation and the feelings that it produced on you. Say it all out loud or write it down on a blank sheet of paper. You don’t want anyone to hear this; forgetting is your own business.
Psychologists say that after every unpleasant situation that occurs, you should first of all accept yourself exactly as you are. Don’t get angry at others, and end each memory with these thoughts:
- Each person did exactly what he wanted.
- You shouldn't judge others, it's their own business.
- If I made a mistake, then I have the right to do so, just like others.
- This situation gave me a new experience.
- Now everything is in the past, this situation will no longer bother me.
Methods on how to forget bad memories in your life
A powerful weapon against unpleasant memories is an active imagination. There are several types of imagination that can easily help in the fight against past memories.
They are:
1. Substitution of bad memories
2. Rewind time
3. Generating memories
These methods work with the help of your imagination and imagination. You need to imagine any situation as realistically as possible.
As soon as they start visiting you negative memories about the person who hurt you, try to imagine a pleasant situation with this person. This method will help you quickly dull the pain and forgive your offender. After this it is much easier to let go of this person.
For many people, negativity is retained in their memory more than any positive situations. Human memories must always be in balance. If positive memories are not enough, then it is better to use your imagination. Start dreaming, imagine that everything came true exactly as you wished.
Once there are enough positive memories in your mind, the person will again feel happy and joyful. In this state, he will understand that everything in his life will only be good. With the help of generated memories, a person will set himself up for positivity.
Clearing yourself of bad memories is not easy work, but if you work on yourself every day, you will soon see excellent results and be able to forget them.
Our life is complex and diverse. Every day we collect bit by bit our unique personal experience, some part of which is quickly forgotten, and some part remains in our memory for long years or even forever. It’s good when these memories are pleasant, but it also happens that our own memories bring us so much pain that they do not allow us to live full life in the “here and now” mode. Such memories, unexpectedly emerging in memory, carry a whole range of negative emotions. Sometimes these emotions are so strong and unpleasant that we plunge into them headlong, and it’s as if we find ourselves in a traumatic situation again. In this state, we cease to adequately perceive the present and enjoy life, as if we are drowning in the past.
At such moments, every person has a completely natural desire to erase all bad things from memory. Each of us probably understands that tormenting ourselves with worries about the past is, to say the least, not reasonable. You have to live in the present; it’s still impossible to change the past. Delving into oneself is undoubtedly a useful activity, but only in moderation. Endless self-gnawing will not bring anything good to anyone.
All this is clear and understandable to any sane person, but emotions still take precedence over reason and here we are again and again depriving ourselves of the opportunity to enjoy this world here and now. We perceive the reality around us through the prism of unpleasant experience. But the thing is that memory is a complex formation of the psyche, in which a lot of information is stored, therefore, in order to “erase” unnecessary memories, our desire alone is often not enough. However, with some effort to rid yourself of discomfort It's still possible. Special people will come to the rescue psychological techniques on working with negative memories.
All you need to do is find an opportunity every day to retire to a quiet and convenient place for just a few minutes. It is worth noting that most techniques for working with memories are based on visualization. The essence of visualization is that memories that haunt you are presented in the form of some kind of visual image, and then imaginary manipulations are performed with this image. After such processing of memories, they, as a rule, cease to greatly disturb their owner.
Well, this is all theory, now let’s move on to practice and offer you several exercises that will help you forget all the bad things
Exercise 1
The main goal of this exercise is relaxation. It must be performed at the very beginning of work. It will help you tune in to the right mood and listen to yourself. Take a position that is comfortable for you. Lying down, sitting, on a chair, on a sofa - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is that you feel comfortable. Now make some deep breaths and smooth exhalations. Try to feel how your facial muscles, shoulder muscles and chest muscles relax. When performing the exercise, you can close your eyes, or you can leave them open.
Exercise 2
Clearly define the situation that you want to “erase” from your memory. You shouldn’t put together a “vinaigrette” from your own memories. It's better to differentiate unpleasant situations from the past, and work through each memory of them separately. Try to imagine the moment that worries you in the form of some kind of image. The picture does not have to be clear and directly related to the situation; it’s not a photograph. The main thing is that the image that arises in your imagination is clear to you. Moreover, if you did everything correctly, then the image you created will be very unpleasant to you and will cause strong feelings in you. negative emotions. Now try to look closely at the image and see as many details as possible in it. Now imagine that this is not just a picture, but an image on a TV screen. Imagine that this TV has levers for adjusting sound, brightness, and contrast. Try to mentally reach these levers, when you succeed, begin to slowly reduce the sound of the image, so that eventually it becomes silent. Now gradually deprive the picture of brightness and contrast. At the end of the picture there should be only a black screen. Try in your mind to get rid of even the background on which the unpleasant picture was located. When you manage to do this, the exercise will be completed.
Exercise 3
This exercise is similar to the previous one. Imagine white in front of you Blank sheet. Now mentally draw on it an image of an unpleasant moment for you. After this, imagine that an eraser appears in your hands, with which you begin to erase the picture; erase it for as long as it takes for you to completely disappear the image from the imaginary sheet. Now you can mentally crumple the sheet or depict something more positive on it.
Exercise 4
Another way to forget bad memories is to place the visual image you created in a room with many burning lamps, lamps or candles. Slowly turn off the lights, blow out the candles, until you are left in complete darkness.
When performing the exercises described above, take your time. Carefully record each of your actions in your mind, then after a few days you will feel that your memories no longer cause a storm of emotions as they did before. It will take no more than 15-20 minutes to process memories every day.
Memory is one of the most important, influencing his entire life. And many people take the problem of developing their memory skills very seriously. Fortunately, there are a huge number of opportunities today: various trainings, courses, seminars and other training programs. If a person has a need to improve his memory, he can easily find suitable materials. However, much less attention is paid to the problem of forgetting, although its importance is no less. After all, many of us often have a desire to get rid of some memories, feelings from the past, and simply free our memory from unnecessary information. This is exactly what we decided to talk about.
Among the many methods designed to improve memory, there are special methods designed for intentional forgetting. Their totality is called flying technology. The term itself has its roots in greek mythology, in which the well-known Lethe River was often mentioned (remember the common expression “sink into oblivion”). Lethe is the river of oblivion, which was located in the underground domain of Hades. Dead souls who entered his kingdom, having drunk water from Lethe, forever forgot that they had ever lived.
So what are the benefits of flying technology and what exactly is it used for? To begin with, it is worth saying that the property of human memory to forget is its integral component, because thanks to it, mnemonic processes are complete. And many Russian and foreign psychologists have talked and are talking about this. It is the ability to forget that helps a person erase from memory something that happened in the past, but has a destructive effect on the psyche and personality in the present, as well as any irrelevant currently information. These are the two main reasons why it is recommended to master forgetting techniques.
There are two main flight methods: suppression and removal. Let's consider each of them separately.
Suppression
This method is considered specifically as a psychotherapeutic one, i.e. thanks to him, it becomes possible to forget what has a traumatic effect on the psyche. Often some memories of negative events bother people and come to mind more and more often because of their vivid emotional coloring. A person begins to react sharply to this, to be afraid of these memories, and they become stronger. To eliminate these and other various obsessive thoughts, two exercises are usually used.
"Burning Letter"
Write down on a piece of paper all the memories that make you feel negative emotions. Describe them in full detail. Then take this sheet, crumple it and place it in a pre-prepared fireproof container. Set fire to the crumpled sheet. Watch the flame. And while the leaf burns, imagine how all the memories that bother you burn with it, and then turn into ashes. As soon as the paper completely burns out, scatter the ashes to the wind, throwing them, for example, out the window.
The essence of this exercise is not only that it helps to get rid of unnecessary memories, but also become their master. It is by having the opportunity to manage his memories that a person can get rid of them. This may even be unpleasant to some extent, but the result is worth it, because a person no longer needs to defend himself from annoying thoughts or suppress them, because he can simply describe them and burn them. And fire, as we know, has always been the best psychotherapist for people: looking at it, people were cleansed of what was psychologically pressing on them, “threw a heavy burden off their shoulders.” If a person has a vivid imagination, he is able to almost literally imagine how his troubles and misfortunes burn together with the paper, freeing his memory from a heavy burden.
"TV"
Sit in a comfortable chair or sofa and take a comfortable body position. Try to project your negative experiences in detail onto a large television screen created in your imagination. After that, pick up the same imaginary remote control and turn off the sound of your “movie”. Watch it as a silent movie. Then gradually make the image blurry and dull. Imagine that it becomes less and less bright and disappears completely.
The most important thing in this exercise is not to rush. There is no need to try to complete the entire exercise in a couple of minutes. On the contrary, you need the process to be as detailed as possible. For example, you can imagine how, after the picture disappears, you turn off the TV, unplug the power cord, pick up the TV, bring it to the window and throw it away.
You can also get creative with the film itself: change the plot from drama to comedy. Model the continuation of the situation in a comical version, put a funny melody or a stupid song on the image, imagine that the role is played not by you, but by one of the comedians. Become the director of your memories - this way you can manage and control them. If you don't need them, throw them out of your “video library”.
Even if “Burning Letter” and “TV” do not completely rid you of memories, you will no longer be afraid of them in any case. And if you are not afraid of them, then they will probably become indifferent to you. And what is indifferent to a person rarely disturbs his memory.
Removal
This is the second flying method. It is intended to a greater extent to remove from memory information that has lost its relevance and represents only mental and emotional garbage. Several exercises can be distinguished in the removal technique.
"Flight technical rag"
For example, your memory contains unnecessary images (words, people, pictures, data), which, although they do not have a negative effect, distract your attention and interfere with concentration, free flow of thoughts, etc. Imagine all this information figuratively reflected on a large chalkboard. Then imagine taking a wet rag and erasing all those blocks of this information that you don’t need. In empty spaces, new images may form, related to the previous ones or associated with those nearby. Take the rag again and continue washing. Do this until empty space nothing will appear. This technique is suitable if there is little information, because... you can divide the board into several sectors and clear each of them in turn.
"Images on Film"
There are cases when the amount of information is large and a simple “flying rag” may not work. Then you can transform this technique a little. Imagine that all the images being recreated are displayed on the same board, but only it is covered with an opaque film. Fill this entire film with unnecessary data, and then simply pull it off the board, immediately freeing up a large space on a new film stretched over the same board. The presented technique was used at one time by the outstanding Soviet and Russian journalist, professional mnemonist and owner of a phenomenal memory, Solomon Veniaminovich Shereshevsky.
Recording
This is another technique that S.V. used. Shereshevsky. He said that he always found it funny that people write down everything they want to remember, because if a person writes it down, why should he remember it? He decided that if he wrote something down, then he did not need to remember it. This became one of the laws of forgetting developed by Shereshevsky, which he began to apply whenever he needed to forget something not particularly important: telephone numbers, people's names, etc. You can use this technique too. Just note that the more a person writes down, the less he uses his memory, and the less he uses his memory, the less trained it is and the less he can remember. Therefore, the less he writes down, the more he will train his memory, and the more he will remember. And it turns out that the information being recorded is information that should not be imprinted in memory, which means it can be safely forgotten. Very good welcome, although to many it seems somewhat paradoxical.
In conclusion, I would like to add that the more you practice forgetting unnecessary information, the faster you will master this skill. After some time, the need to use any techniques will disappear by itself, because... You can forget any information and erase memories only with the help of one volitional effort, by giving your brain the appropriate command.
Don't forget to leave a comment. We will also be interested to know which of the forgetting techniques discussed seems most effective to you.
