Signs that your man is a bore. Perfect couple: cheerful girl is bored with a guy

The tediousness of a husband is not a reason for divorce. But this character trait can bring to white heat even the most patient

Bores are fixated on one thought, they are not flexible, they do not know how to compromise, and this is their peculiarity. nervous system. The bore is not amenable to re-education, but you can get along with him, the candidate believes psychological sciences Associate Professor of the Moscow State Pedagogical University Maria Radionova.

Type Palette

Regid-aggressive bore- has an epileptoid character, is prone to stubbornness, self-centeredness. He gets his way no matter what. They say about such people - “it’s easier for him to surrender than to explain that you don’t want to.”

Typical situation: he is eager to watch football, talks about new composition team, about the Champions League, does not let go of the remote control ... and does not hear your request to let you finish watching the series.

Positive traits: his determination, it gives him an additional chance for rapid career growth. Be patient for a couple of years, and your missus, having risen through the ranks, will be able to buy you a fur coat or pamper others an expensive gift. In addition, straightness is not so bad in family life. Any minute you know what your husband wants.

How to live with him? It’s better for him to give up right away or hit him with something heavy on the head. Or you can turn his attention to himself: “Why don’t you…” Perhaps such a reshuffle will make him change his goal. You can offer barter - I will yield to you, but you will do this and that. Sometimes the prospect of washing a mountain of dishes or taking your mother-in-law to the dacha stops even bores.

melancholic bore- has a psychoasthenic character. Anxiety is at the core of his tediousness. He unconsciously demands attention to himself, wants to be reassured. But it is impossible to calm him down with real arguments.

"Melancholic is a disease"?

Self-realization with such a temperament is much more difficult.
They are characterized by an unstable mood with a predominance of pessimism, they deeply and long experience their problems and failures. Very difficult to adapt to environment, closed off while communicating. In behavior, they often show hysteria, they strive to get away from any difficulties. They are very sensitive to any criticism. As a rule, they underestimate their abilities. In relation to business, optimism often alternates with pessimism. The desire for a goal is either strong or weak with avoidance of obstacles. They often change their interests, easily succumb to other people's influence. Prone to subtle observations. In everything he sees only the bad, the dangerous.
A man of melancholy temperament attaches great importance everything that concerns him, everywhere he finds reasons for fear and draws attention primarily to difficulties. The melancholic makes a promise with difficulty, because he cannot fail to fulfill it, but doubts whether he is able to do it. And all this with him is explained not by moral reasons, but by the fact that the opposite gives him trouble, and that is why he becomes preoccupied, distrustful and full of doubts, and because of this - and little receptive to fun. When such a mood becomes habitual for a melancholic, he loses his sense of philanthropy, for he who himself must do without joy is unlikely to wish it to another.

Typical situation: you are going on vacation, four hours before the train leaves. Considering that it takes you half an hour to get to the station and all the suitcases are at the door, you still have time to take a shower, drink tea and finally chat with your girlfriend. But will your bored husband let you do it? Since morning, he has been spinning around the collected things, forcing him to unpack and repack his suitcases. "Did you take my razor? Check, please”, “And the cure for motion sickness? Look…” And now he just pushes you out the door. “It is difficult to catch a taxi in our area…”, “There may be traffic jams in the center…”, “What if the car breaks down on the road?”

Positive traits: he will never prove something to you by force, it is easier for him to whine in your ear for an hour or two. And, most importantly, he faithful man. He has so many anxieties and worries with you that he cannot even think about an affair on the side. If any woman decides to flirt with him, he simply will not notice it.

How to live with him? Humor - the best medicine from anxiety. Laugh at his fears. But not over him! Melancholic people are very vulnerable people.

hidden bore- a closed person, unable to express the problem bluntly. At the heart of his tediousness is dissatisfaction - with his wife, the situation at work, the weather or politics. And the first person he comes across, most often his wife, becomes a scapegoat. Internal discontent is expressed in endless nit-picking.

Typical situation: Have you noticed that you often leave cups of unfinished tea all over the apartment? "When it was?" you ask in bewilderment. "The day before yesterday on coffee table, and, by the way, there were traces on the polishing, ”the husband will clarify.

Positive traits: this person is attentive to trifles, and not only your shortcomings, but also your preferences and desires do not escape his attention. Did you mention that you love cornflowers and daisies? For your birthday, he will definitely give you a bouquet of wildflowers.

How to live with him? First of all, understand what he is really dissatisfied with. If he is unhappy that you are paying little attention to him, take note of this. If the cause of his suffering is weather or politics, scold the government with him - let him blow off steam - or reassure him with a favorable forecast for the weekend. At least, at least for a while, nit-picking on the smallest occasions will stop.

He's a bore, you...

... phlegmatic. Your couple is lucky. You know how to abstract, not to react to everyday negativity. But the danger lies in the fact that the lack of reaction can cause even more aggression in the aggressive bore and even more despair in the melancholic. Sometimes pay attention to your husband, or at least pretend that you care about his problems.

... sanguine. You will look for compromises with the same persistence with which your husband bakes you. The process can drag on for a long time, and the outcome will depend on who is more stubborn. But your marriage will be long anyway.

... choleric. You explode immediately. This is for the best. A violent reaction can frighten a bore, and he will forget about his claims for a while, comforting you. Letting off steam is a good way out of the conflict, but do not forget that the reason remains.

... melancholic. It will be difficult for you. Aggressive you are ready to surrender immediately. With the secretive, you will fall into despair from your imperfection. A boring melancholic will infect you with his anxiety. Only a sense of humor will save you.

Personal opinion

Eduard Trukhmenev:

“I’ll admit, I’m a bore myself. Therefore, I treat this type of men well. I don’t know how it is in family life, but in acting, attention to detail, introspection, meticulousness are a great help. Generally ideal for family union I consider the state when two people understand each other without words. But such a golden mean in a relationship is difficult to achieve. This is the ideal.

Psychologists divide male bores into several categories, which depend on psycho-emotional state and behavior patterns.

The first category of male bores are male introverts. They are, one might say, fascinated by their own world. Such tediousness is very difficult to bear, because it sometimes frightens and causes sincere bewilderment. When communicating, such men quickly spend their energy, and emotions are replaced by a feeling of anxiety, especially at those moments when a noisy, cheerful and energetic wife is nearby. Because of this, they are simply forced to withdraw into themselves from time to time in order to detach themselves from the surrounding reality. This does not mean at all that the husband neglects you, as you may mistakenly think, on the contrary, he completely trusts you and hopes that you understand him, but he cannot express it differently.

In the doctor's office.

- Doctor, I have a problem. I talk to myself all the time!

- This is fine. Why does it annoy you?

Yes, but I'm such a bore...

The second category of bores that can be encountered are men of the rigid-aggressive type. They are active, energetic, enterprising and temperamental, constantly putting everything on the shelves in certain order. At the same time, this type of men is self-centered, stubborn, so no matter what it costs them, they constantly go to the end and achieve their goals. A man cannot understand himself, cannot cope with his thoughts and passions, therefore he tries to put things in order in his real and surrounding life.

Two neighbors are talking.

- I don't understand how you live with your Borya? He sticks his nose everywhere!

- You see, Sarah, when we were young, I even liked it ....

Men of a rigid-aggressive type constantly teach a woman and accuse her of carelessness, while they think that their annotations are only for the benefit and benefit of a woman. It is best to communicate with such men with the help of full consent.

This is exactly the situation when it is better to agree than to explain why you do not want to do it.

Despite such a huge lack of tediousness, these men are very purposeful and quickly move up the career ladder, change positions, rapidly moving to the highest, and achieve what they have in mind. Therefore, let you be bored with him, but calmly and confidently, with such a husband you will be like behind a stone wall.

Very interesting type, In my opinion.

An anecdote immediately comes to mind:

Somehow they executed an optimist, a pessimist and a bore in France.
The optimist was first brought to the guillotine and asked for his last wish.
He replied:
- Life was so beautiful and interesting! Lay me face up please. It will be very interesting for me to watch the falling knife.
They laid him face up, pulled the lever, and the knife creaked and stopped just above the neck.
As usual, he was pardoned.
The pessimist was asked about the last wish.
He said:
- Life was so disgusting! And then there's this knife... And the crowd, greedy for bloody spectacles... Blindfold my eyes and plug my ears with cotton wool.
His wish was granted, the lever was pulled, but the knife creaked again and stopped just above the neck.
He too was pardoned, according to custom.
The bore is asked:
- Your last wish?
“Last wish, last wish… It would be better if the guillotine was repaired…”

In any situation, such men are unhappy and always whine about various problems and misfortunes that can happen not only to them, but to everyone else. Such tediousness is based on enduring anxiety. These bores all the time tell other people about how bad everything is and will get worse every day, while they themselves hope that they will be reassured and dissuaded. This type of personality is called constitutionally depressive, so the most important thing when you communicate with such men is not to get infected with gloomy views on life and eternal whining. You know that no reasonable arguments can change their attitude to the surrounding reality, but do not forget that the forecasts and anxieties of male bores mean nothing, they are usually based on subjective feelings. Any woman in a relationship with such a man feels uneasy. However, such boring men also have advantages. They are unlikely to ever cheat on you and leave the family. They are just starting to think about betrayal and already imagine how troubles, illnesses and scandals will follow, so all thoughts of going “to the left” immediately disappear.

In general, there are a lot of bores and psychologists have identified a generalized image of such a man with the most common and characteristic features.

1. They cannot distinguish the secondary from the main, that is, they constantly find fault with trifles.
2. They are devoid of a sense of humor, because one anecdote can cause not laughter or even a smile, but only philosophical reasoning, which, as a rule, ends rather gloomily.
3. Their behavior is inappropriate, it can manifest itself at the moment, for example, when people are having a light, casual, cheerful conversation, and he will sit and insert his five cents, that everything is bad or that they are somewhere somehow incorrectly expressed.

A bore is a person who is able to spoil even the most fun party. Therefore, invite several bores to your company at once. These individuals quickly find each other and spend the whole evening in a quiet "get-together", while the rest of the company has fun.

Even if your chosen one turned out to be a boring man, then do not focus on his boringness, and moreover, try not to succumb to his influence. Just take it as an unpleasant flaw in a man. However, in any case, you can agree with him and just keep silent, but do it anyway in your own way. For this, a woman owns wisdom, which is well seasoned with cunning.

Psychologists divide male bores into several categories, which depend on the psycho-emotional state and behavioral patterns.

The first category of male bores are male introverts. They are, one might say, fascinated by their own world. Such tediousness is very difficult to endure, because it sometimes frightens and causes sincere bewilderment. When communicating, such men quickly spend their energy, and emotions are replaced by a feeling of anxiety, especially in those moments when there is a noisy, cheerful and energetic girl nearby. Because of this, they are simply forced from time to time to withdraw into themselves in order to renounce the surrounding reality. This does not mean at all that the partner neglects you, as you may mistakenly think, on the contrary, he completely trusts you and hopes that you understand him, but he cannot express it differently.

The second category of nerds you might encounter are men of the rigid-aggressive type. They are active, energetic, enterprising and temperamental, they constantly put everything on the shelves in a certain order. At the same time, this type of men is self-centered, stubborn, so no matter what it costs them, they constantly go to the end and achieve their goals. A man cannot understand himself, cannot cope with his thoughts and passions, therefore he tries to put things in order in his real and surrounding life.

Men of the rigid-aggressive type constantly teach a woman and accuse her of carelessness, while they think that a woman's hannotation is only for the benefit and benefit. It is best to communicate with such men with the help of full consent. This is exactly the situation when it is better to agree than to explain why you do not want to do this.

Despite such a huge lack of tediousness, these men are very purposeful and rather quickly move up the career ladder, change positions, rapidly moving to the highest, and achieve what they have in mind. Therefore, let you be bored with him, calmly and confidently, with such a man you will be like behind a stone wall.

The third category includes pessimistic bores. In any situation, such men are unhappy and always whine about various problems and misfortunes that can happen not only to them, but to everyone else. Such tediousness is based on enduring anxiety. These bores all the time tell other people about how bad everything is and will get worse every day, while they themselves hope that they will be reassured and dissuaded. This type of personality is called constitutional-depressive, so the most important thing when you communicate with such men is not to get infected with gloomy views on life and eternal whining. You know that no reasonable arguments can change their attitude to the surrounding reality, but do not forget that the forecasts and anxieties of male bores do not mean anything, they are usually based on subjective sensations. Any woman in a relationship with such a man feels uneasy. However, such men have boredom and dignity. They are unlikely to ever cheat on you and leave the family. They are just beginning to think about betrayal and already imagine how troubles, illnesses and scandals will follow, so all thoughts of going “to the left” immediately disappear.

In general, there are a lot of bores and psychologists have identified a generalized image of such a man with the most common and characteristic features.

1. They cannot distinguish the secondary from the main, that is, they constantly find fault with trifles.
2. They are devoid of a sense of humor, because one anecdote can cause not laughter or even a smile, but only philosophical reasoning, which, as a rule, ends rather gloomily.
3. Their behavior is inappropriate, it can manifest itself at the moment, for example, when people are having a light, laid-back, cheerful conversation, and he will sit and insert his five cents, that everything is bad or that they are somehow incorrectly expressed somewhere.

Even if your chosen one turned out to be a boring man, then do not focus on his boringness, and moreover, try not to succumb to his influence. Just take it as an unpleasant flaw in a man. However, in any case, you can simply agree with them to remain silent, but at the same time do it anyway in your own way. For this, a woman owns wisdom, which is well seasoned with cunning.

Dear readers, hello. Today we have very interesting topic- what to do if the husband is a bore?
He always doesn't like something, and he constantly makes some remarks. What to do in such a situation? All humility will eventually come to an end. Make a scandal? Then this should be done daily and a couple of times a day.

Say nasty things back - I don `t want. And the comments pour in one after another: either I laugh too loudly, or the style of the skirt is outdated and it is short, or the lipstick is too bright. I can’t talk on the phone, even with my mother, but I don’t want to remember my friends. During breakfast and lunch, there are only grumblings: lunch is not tasty, children are poorly brought up.

Leave? Do not rush to take drastic measures. To begin with, take an objective look at your teaching talents, make a simple but delicious menu, diversify it, remember that men love Tasty food, change at least partially wardrobe. Look at the situation from the other side , Can remarks of the husband are fair? Maybe you need to learn and master culinary secrets, reconsider your taste when choosing outfits.

Perhaps the husband's remarks are fair and he expresses them out of good intentions. Constructively approach the criticism of your spouse, try to change yourself and objectively look at your cooking, wardrobe choice. A little time will pass, your husband will appreciate your changes and strengthen your union .
Psychologists have studied this issue, and delivered a verdict that half of the husbands dream of improving their wives.

Paternalism- this is a patronizing and paternal attitude towards women - in the strong half in the blood. Most likely, a companion who loves you wants to see in your face perfect girlfriend . This ideal he created in his subconscious. Or maybe he is just jealous that all the men on the street are looking after you when you walk in your miniskirt? Try to understand him and change yourself.

Make concessions: behave more modestly in public, dress less provocatively, too bright lipstick change to a lower tone.

If your bored spouse seeks such original way assert yourself don't hate him , but tactfully help him to eradicate such an attitude of superiority, let him loosen up and become himself. Having sealed your relationship with marriage, there is no point in pretending. Therefore, often remind your precious one that he is much better when he does not grumble. And try to improve if his criticism is fair. Learn to tactfully rid your squeamish bore of his shortcomings.

And here again he burst into an impartial tirade. How to proceed? Don't interfere, let him talk , and think about something else yourself - plan an upcoming trip to nature or a trip to the store. Not able to listen to all the nonsense? Then interrupt the criticism with a kiss, smile sweetly and agree - most often this is a win-win option.

Pay attention to training
« All wives are like wives, and I am a treasure! »,
which is conducted by Yana Kataeva, a specialist in establishing family relations.