Holy love. The relationship between mother and son is a close two-way bond.

The mother is the first woman the son meets. The psychology of the relationship between a son and a mother is formed from childhood, and in 100% of cases the future of both depends on this.

Proper upbringing of a son is the key to a happy future

A son's love for his mother never fades, but throughout life it changes as the child grows, gains life experience and special, only peculiar to him, features. But even love should not be limitless and all-consuming, otherwise the boy will not learn to understand what it is to be independent, to have his own opinion, to do things, albeit wrong ones, to learn from his own mistakes.

The relationship between mother and son is not the same as with a daughter. It is always easier for a mother to find common ground with a girl (she was one herself). A guy is a different “non-female” world, other problems, behaviors, problems and desires. There are almost always difficulties between mom and boyfriend, so psychologists Special attention give bond mothers and sons. Main mistake the vast majority of women - the inability (and unwillingness) to give their son independence, excessive guardianship: when a child cannot become an independent person, remaining her "blood" for life.

Mothers are different in outlook and character. Each has its own approach to education, and if you manage to find a “golden mean”, you can be proud of yourself - the boy will grow up prepared for life, will not turn into a “neurotic embittered at all” or “endless mumbling”.

Proper upbringing son in childhood, formation normal attitude to his "wrong" actions - this is the basis of his healthy perception of life, women, the absence of unnecessary fears and clamps in adulthood.

The bond between mothers and sons

The relationship between mother and son is a fine line between the female desire for guardianship and care and the male desire for independence. The main mistakes lie in the area of ​​the mother's psychological fears that something will happen to her son. However, one must understand that “something should happen” to the son: it will be a fall from a bicycle or a street fight. In these circumstances, the personality of the child and his further attitude to more serious situations are formed. Therefore, from the very birth of her son, it is important for a woman to understand how not to ruin her son's life with personal problems.

Mistakes of women in raising sons

1. The son is not a part of the mother, he is the whole.

   A mother should not blow dust off the boy, do everything for him and strive to mold her ideal man. She should not make any sacrifice in order for the child to be the best in school, the best in sports. Her own life fades into the background and lies at the feet of the child. She always praises him, encourages him for success, sees him rich, successful and famous in the future.

   The other side of the coin is that the boy grows up ambitious, self-confident, accustomed to the fact that he should have all the best, and those around him must carry him in their arms. He is looking for a wife to match himself - beautiful, smart, talented, and most importantly - constantly admiring him. The son will compare all applicants with his beloved mother, and it will seem to her that there is no girl worthy of her baby.

2. Falls are normal.

   A mother hen is a type of woman who constantly trembles over her child. She worries about him with or without reason, protects him from the cruelty of the world, closely follows every step, does not leave personal space, filling everything with care. With such behavior, the mother will soon begin to annoy him, and as a result, she will convey her nervousness and inadequate perception of the world. The psychology of the relationship between son and mother in this case is far from the norm. The child grows up in fear that it is difficult for him to live without a mother, he will constantly take a defensive position towards others, and even in an elementary question he will see a catch. Such people do not fit well with the team, have no friends and, in the end, are angry with the whole world. If the sissy manages to meet a normal companion, she will insist on the termination of the mother's guardianship, which will immediately displease the mother-in-law.

   Hence, there are two options - “cut the umbilical cord” and move the overly caring mother away, or choose an infantile lady “neither fish nor fowl” as a wife, so that mother can now twist ropes from both.

3. A dry relationship is no better than a very emotional one.

   There are mothers who do not show their care and feelings too noticeably. On the fact that they do not love their children, they are simply in fear of doing something wrong, harming the child, making him think badly. The attitude of a son towards a mother who is insecure about her actions leads to the fact that the boy will grow up with a sense of deprivation, self-doubt and a feeling that he is not loved. A cynic will grow out of him, hiding feelings under the guise of composure. As an adult, the guy does not know how to create a harmonious family, because he saw her only on TV. To break out of his shell, he needs an open, self-confident girl who can show family life in bright colors.

4. It is difficult to grow a healthy person in hatred and distrust.

   The tyrant mother bases her relationship with the boy on hatred of everything male. The imperious commander is used to not being contradicted, everything was done according to her orders, because she is always right in everything. The relationship between an adult son and mother does not add up, as he seeks to get rid of her oppression in his dreams, but he cannot do anything, because from childhood he is afraid of her reaction, even if he has learned to avoid it. He is afraid to associate himself with girls, and if he creates them, then his behavior is close to maternal, i.e. to tyranny. IN extreme cases such children grow up into tough and aggressive tyrants, capable of taking revenge even on their children for the cruelty they had to experience.

The relationship between mother and son is close to perfect

These develop between a boy and a happy, self-confident mother, devoid of internal clamps or working with her own psychological problems. She most likely has a strong family, favorite work, friends. She is sure that she should give the boy only the most necessary, not decide for him which circle to enroll in or who he will become in the future.

According to Indian wisdom, the child should be accepted as a guest in the house.

It must be fed, taught and released. But in our society with a child, especially a boy, relationships are built on duties and prohibitions, often on restrictions caused by one's own fears. “I’d rather forbid him than to disentangle him later.” However, the relationship of the son to the mother will only be harmonious if she learns to trust him, perceive him as a separate, independent personality, without involving it in one's own psychological problems. Let the child go adult life- does not mean to start ignoring and throwing it into free swimming. No, a son is for life. But it is better to remain the closest person to him, giving him freedom, and not imposing constant guardianship and not making him a prisoner.

A frequent topic of entries in SM is the relationship of mothers and sons. From the moment of conception and birth until when the boys grow up, they create their relationships with other women. What is the love of a mother for her son? What is she like? How would you like to see her? What is the "right" way to love? How to let go of an adult child? How will you deal with your feelings? With irritation, anger, jealousy, disappointment...

The author writes about the hero-poet and his mother. About their relationship. About their love. About that side of love, which is difficult, sometimes, I think. After all, I am the mother of two sons. How can I love my little Bear, so as not to fall in love with him to the point of which Kundera writes:

“What in Yaromil did not suit classmates, what irritated them, what distinguished him from them?
Even talking about it is embarrassing: it was not about wealth, but about the love of his mother. This love left its traces on everything; it was imprinted on his shirt, on his hair, on his words, on his knapsack where he put school notebooks, on books that he read at home for fun. Everything was specially selected and prepared for him ... long hair he had to pin up his mother's hair clip to keep them out of his eyes. When it rained, Mommy waited for him outside the school with a big umbrella, while the students took off their shoes and splashed in the puddles.
Maternal love puts a stigma on the forehead of the boys, frightening the disposition of comrades."(With)

And, peering into the eyes, listening to the phrases of the elder, I try to understand what kind of relationship I managed to grow with him. How free, trusting, sincere are they?.. Where did I go wrong? How can I ease the pain of knowing that he is moving further and further away from me into his adult life? How can I not become an obstacle to his love for a woman? How to prevent me from this, alas, familiar behavior to many:

"It was a beautiful day and beautiful evening, but when Yaromil came home, it was almost midnight, and mommy walked excitedly from room to room.
“I was worried about you! Where have you been? You don't care about me at all!"
"You are killing me! You are killing me!..."
Yaromil remained standing in fright, and a feeling of some great guilt overflowed through him.
(Ah, boy, you will never get rid of this feeling. You are to blame, you are to blame! Every time you leave home, you will carry with you a reproachful look, calling you to return! You will walk around the world like a dog tied to a long rope! And even having gone far, you will always feel the collar squeezing the scruff of the neck! And when you spend time with women, and when you are with them in bed, a long rope will stretch from your scruff, ropes, by its jerks you will feel the obscene movements that you surrender to!)
"Mommy, please don't be angry, Mommy, please forgive me!" - in fear, he is now kneeling by her bed and stroking her wet cheeks.
And mommy does not forgive him for a long time, so that she can feel his fingers on her skin for as long as possible. (With)

And when women, wives, loved in their hearts and with tears write about the relationship of their undergrown men with their mothers, I think that it is the mothers who are to blame for these problems, because.
“In an immature man, for a long time there remains a longing for the security and unity of this universe, which he completely filled with himself in the womb ...” (c)

And our maternal task is to grow adult men out of our beloved boys who know how to love women and life itself. The life in which we are, and in which we will not be.

The most strong love It is the love of a mother for her son. Poems are written about her, films are made, books are written. But there are no such words, such units of measurement that can measure the love of a mother for her son. Such love is honest, pure and selfless! It has no boundaries, it is timeless, it is endless. Only such love can be considered the ideal of human relations! The deep affection between mother and son is an unknown force that works wonders.

My son once said to me:
"I want them to be...
Like your bird...
Wow, such wings ... "

It became a flight on my shoulder,
I felt the power...
"And where will I fly?"
I asked him...

The son replied: “No way ...
Moms don't fly!
Mothers wings always ...
The kids are closed."

The relationship between mother and son is special, tender, trusting, strong. “Neither she nor he has anyone else in this world who would be so loved. This is almost physically tangible love, the edge, the limit of love, behind which only something real is hidden ... "
Our sons grow up and fly out of their native nest. Adult life begins with wires to the army.

You think they'll say, well, what's wrong with that?
Ah, the heart is in pieces? soul out of place?
Just think - a year and you will be together ...

Weeks go by, days go by...
And this long year does not want to end.
You go everywhere, you sleep - with a phone
Rodnulka will call and again calm.

Well, how are you, my dear? Are you on guard?
And I'll stand still everyone fell asleep.
Are you shooting? Ah, be careful, son,
Well, how are the successes? Did you get in once?

Do you have PCB? Tell me what the thing is.
Oh, sweeping the parade ground, well, also science!
Days and nights go by, weeks go by
And you are near your son in the rains and snowstorms.

Your soul is near, and thoughts are together.
This year will pass - pay back the debt of honor !!!
Not a boy will return, but an adult man
And mom will be proud of the reason.

Soldier's mother - just two words.
Just think, they will say, well, what's wrong here ....
Svetlana Malanina

But only the mother of a soldier wants time to fly at cosmic speed to the demobilization, which will certainly come. The mother of a soldier remembers all the holidays and her congratulations sincerely and from the bottom of her heart...

It's February 23rd -
So let the whole earth know today
How proud I am of my son!
After all, he is a soldier, let melancholy and sadness

You will not be disturbed, my son,
So that you can achieve everything in life,
With dignity you pass the service,
And wait for the joys of this life!

Son, heartily accept congratulations,
WITH men's holiday February 23,
Let doubts go away from life forever
May happiness bestow upon you in full.
I wish you all the best, peace and good luck,
And the mood of beauty in addition,
Let things go like clockwork
May fate be kind to you.

My only son, my blood,
I love you so much my child!
I want your life to be happy
So that your love is with you.
I want to protect you from sickness
And from the blows of life, from trouble.
I want your dreams to come true
And so that your friends do not let you down.
I want to become your guardian angel,
I want your life to be calm.
Prayer, I read for you
I ask God for blessings and peace,
For your home and for your family.
Accept her mother's love, accept it!

WITH wonderful holiday male,
I congratulate you, son,
Be full of energy and strength
I wish you all the best.
Let there be a calm service and the joy of victories,
May there be less sorrows and troubles in life,
May the sky be peaceful above you
Be always kept by fate.

Eat wonderful word- MOTHER,
And there is the HOLY - THE SOLDIER'S MOTHER.
She alone knows how to wait
So, like no one, sorting through the dates ...

Sons yearn, hope for a meeting with a fragile, tender, vulnerable and strongest mother!

Do you remember, Mom, I was leaving on a bright summer night?
I did not yet know that the army was not Sochi.
You accompanied me on a long, hard journey,
I left as a boy to become a man.
The locomotive smoked a pipe, the sound of wheels farewell
Your eyes in the big crowd were not sadder.
I could not say anything, words would not be enough,
We hugged, the train touched ... Goodbye, Mom!
I remember everything like yesterday, even though a lot has passed,
Through how much I went - God does not know!
Let it be hard for me, but I didn’t bend,
I, thanks to you, did not fall, did not give up!
Sweat poured into the eyes, legs buckled,
I am more difficult than the army, I have not met the road.
But all the troubles and hardships survived stubbornly,
Because he knew for sure - Mom is waiting and remembering.
Halfway already behind, life is now easier.
I want to go home soon so I can hug you tight...
I'll leave fiery speeches for later,
I'll write more soon.
Mom, see you soon!

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Sons - happy demobilization, mothers - wait for their sons !!

maternal happiness
The arrows are counting down the time loudly,
And the years melt like white smoke.
But for me you remained a child,
My son, glorious and dear!
You still have the same cute habits.
All the same facial expressions
Son, how glad I am that everything turned out this way
You have not grown into a soulless liar.
You have become a strong, real man,
And in your business you have no equal.
Son, you visit me more often.
Here is a mother's secret of happiness!

Option 1

In my opinion, this is the most strong feeling in the world, based on support, affection, care and, of course, warmth. You can also say that this is the kind of love that does not require anything in return, does not require a choice - me or him. I believe that one of the main components of maternal love is care. It is thanks to the care that comes from the mother that every child feels protected, needed, and, above all, loved ... However, sometimes a mother's love is, no matter how strange it may seem, excessive, harmful to the child. I will prove my position with examples from the text of Anatoly Georgievich Aleksin and life experience.

To prove my point of view, I will turn to the work of Anatoly Nekrasov “Maternal Love”, which shows love that harms the child and brings suffering to parents, children and society as a whole. After reading this book, the reader, no doubt, will reconsider his views on life and, perhaps, in the future, seriously and responsibly approaching the issue of education, will make the right choice ...

I think I've proven that mother's love- this is, first of all, the need for guardianship, protection and assistance to those who need this support, to those who cannot yet exist independently in this world. Maternal love, based on mercy, compassion, kindness and tolerance, helps to develop the most strengths little person. However, the mother must understand that her excessive love can ruin a child's life.

Option 2

What is motherly love? This is the most pure, sincere and strong love. This is unrequited love. After all, a mother loves her child, not because he did something, but because it is her child. I believe that a mother's love is not only love for her child, but also for other children. This is explained by the fact that the mother's heart is like a bottomless bowl of tenderness, care, attention, in which there is a place for love for all children.

I would also like to recall the poem “Heart” by D. Kedrin that I recently read. The Cossack, having cut the mother's breast with a blade, brings the mother's heart to the girl as a gift. But on the porch he fell, and the mother's heart fell out of her hands. But in spite of everything, the mother's heart asked her son if he had hurt himself. This act of "heart" shows the great power of mother's love: she forgave him.

Thus, we proved the huge “sizes” maternal hearts, in which there is a place not only for their own children, but also for other people's children who need their maternal care. We realized that a mother's love is boundless.

Option 3

"What is motherly love?" - you ask. In my opinion, maternal love is the boundless, strong, all-conquering love of a mother for her child. She will always help him, take care of him, listen to her son and daughter with understanding, and support him in his endeavors. For every child, a mother is the backbone of her life.

Maternal love is the boundless love of a mother for a child: she gives him her tenderness, kindness, affection. Mother always understands him, supports him in Hard time, will never betray. For him, she is the backbone of all life.

As a second argument confirming the thesis, I will take an example from life experience. Once I read a legend about two burial mounds. What impressed me the most was the attitude of the son to his mother. He had a wife who did not love his mother. When the girl asked the hero to bring the heart of his mother, he was able to kill her, but, carrying her heart in his hand, he could not stand it, wept and regretted his terrible deed. And the love of a mother, wishing well for her son, performed a miracle: "the heart came to life, the torn chest closed, the mother stood up and pressed her son's curly head to her chest." What struck me most about this legend was the boundless maternal love: after everything that the son had done, she forgave him.

Thus, I proved that maternal love is a huge force, creative, creative, inspiring. She is able to work miracles, revive to life, save from dangerous diseases...