A weak man always blames a woman. My husband constantly accuses me of something, finds fault, reproaches me with money
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Signs that he loves himself more than you:
Relations are fastened unexpectedly and beautifully, but after a while something goes wrong. The woman begins to analyze and look for the cause, sometimes placing the blame on herself. If this is the case, think again. You may have met a narcissistic man. Here's how to recognize it. Such men love themselves more than anyone else. They consider themselves the center of the universe. As long as they are interested, they maintain a beautiful relationship.They easily seduce a woman, surround her with attention and romance, make her feel the one and only. But they are unable to support long term relationship and just as easily interrupted if interest is lost.
Showing attention, they do not care about the woman at all, because they are completely devoid of the ability to empathize. They just like to see admiration in her eyes. But after some time, the relationship deteriorates, and the woman is at a loss to guess what went wrong.
Here are 5 signs you're dating a narcissist.
1. He, only he
2. Always blame others
At first, this is not very noticeable, but over time, the woman realizes that he blames her for any problems. It’s just that such men do not tolerate criticism, they do not know how to admit their mistakes and take responsibility, therefore, when some problems appear, they are in a hurry to blame everything on others. This is his natural defensive reaction.
3. He needs control
This man needs to be in control. If a woman does not obey this, he becomes nervous or even tries to end the relationship. If the woman yields, he rather "sits on the neck" and enjoys power. He needs a relationship just for that. At the same time, he will in every possible way resist spiritual rapprochement.
4. He needs attention
Often, male narcissists grow out of children deprived of attention and approval in childhood. That is why they urgently need constant attention and praise from others. And that is why they are overly sensitive to criticism or a woman’s desire to devote her time to self-interest. This throws him back into the painful moments of childhood, he again feels a lack of attention, eventually breaks off relations or tries to get what he wants with another.
5. Lightness and carelessness
He will never allow drama in a relationship and frank conversations about feelings, discussing personal problems. Do not even try to get into his soul - it is dark, cold and lonely there. He never admits how he really feels. If a woman stubbornly tries to call him to frankness, he will close up and blame her for everything.
In the worst case, he will begin to do what he himself suffered from in childhood - he will try to show the woman that others are more important and attractive to him than she is. He will begin to show attention to others and cheat on her.
Why do women fall in love with daffodils? There can be many reasons, but the result is always predictable - painful relationships or their imminent break. All due to the fact that such men lack self-confidence, they are hindered by many psychological problems which are hard to fix. To heal his soul, a woman will have to try hard. Not everyone is ready for this. But even less are narcissistic men themselves ready for this ...
Some interesting statistics. The overwhelming majority of readers of this site are women.
Indeed, women are more inclined to seek solutions to their problems, discuss them and ask for advice. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to hush up their problems, because a man is strong and steadfast, he will deal with his problems himself, right?
Based on these statistics, I am increasingly starting to write articles with an eye specifically on the female audience. But resentment is a universal thing, and therefore it is impossible not to touch male feelings. The fact that men don't like to talk openly about their problems doesn't mean that women experience resentment on average more often than men. In addition, resentment experienced by men can often be stronger due to the fact that they do not often give it an outlet.
In what ways does a man experience resentment? Of course, in relatives. And of course, one of these relationships is marriage. It often happens that a young man falls in love without memory and, against the backdrop of sweet expectations of a happy future together, makes a woman an offer. And of course, if the feelings are mutual, at first the relationship is really a fairy tale.
But after a few years, the man suddenly begins to realize that the fairy tale that he painted for himself in his imagination does not correspond to reality at all. And the reason for this is a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding of how women really work, and a lack of knowledge of what should be expected of them. But instead of understanding the situation, he would prefer to withdraw into himself and endure, endure, endure. Until sooner or later the threshold is crossed, and a quarrel occurs, varying in its strength from medium to catastrophic.
I note that we are talking O monogamous relationships. That is, it is expected that the husband and wife will sleep only with each other until the very end, that is, until death or divorce separates. And no one is cheating on anyone, has never cheated and will never cheat. It is immediately clear that the initial premises are not the most realistic, but we will talk about resentment in open and “closed” relationships another time. In the meantime, here's how a wife can hurt her husband without realizing it.
How a Wife Hurts Her Husband in 6 Different Ways
1. Denial of sex. It is not without reason that it is in the first place, since it is almost the most the right way ruin a man's marriage. Dear women, every time you refuse sex to your regular sexual partner, this is a painful blow.
You see what's the matter ... Let's talk openly. Men are lustful animals. They want sex all the time. Whether married or not. Though he is 20 years old, even if he is 50. Rich or poor, ugly or handsome, a young sexy male fucker-bachelor or a modest middle-aged fat loser-married man. In sadness or joy, in grief or resentment - men always want sex.
Of course, the frequency of the question varies from man to man. Libido is different for everyone - someone wants sex 5 times a week, someone even once will be enough. It doesn't change the essence. The bottom line is that regardless of his character, he expects that since he is with a woman, and he has a relationship with her, this automatically implies regular sex with her. Always.
Yes, yes, I know what you can say. “It is not my duty to satisfy him.” “I am not a prostitute for him, I am the wife and mother of his children”, “Sex is not the most important thing”. But here's the thing - if you marry him, if you want to happy relationship, and your relationship is monogamous, I have news for you. It is your duty to fuck your husband. And for your husband, sex is very important, even if it is not the most important thing in marital relations. Why is this so important to him? Because he is not only a caring father and faithful husband, but also a lustful animal, as I mentioned above.
Does this mean that I blame or reproach women? In no case! . Therefore, it is necessary to go through the husbands.
Husbands, remember! Did you really think that he Honeymoon What did you have at sea when you fucked with your freshly baked wife several times a day - is this the norm? Or is the first year of your relationship the way it will always be? I have news for you - women are biologically designed in such a way that they get bored with the same man in a long-term monogamous relationship over time.
Do you know why? Because the genetic code that people carry in themselves has not changed for millions of years. And this code programmed women to look for a suitable male who would provide them with offspring and protect this offspring (which is funny, these two roles can be performed separately by two different men). How long does it need to be protected for it to get back on its feet and be able to escape? 20 years? 15 years? 10 years? No, less years than the fingers you have on one hand.
Therefore, from a biological point of view, a woman is “not interested” in sleeping with you for 20 years as it was in the first years of your marriage. Because if you have been living together for a long time, then from a biological, sexual, animal point of view, you are no longer perceived by a woman as a man with whom she sleeps. At least not as much as it used to be. Now you are more like a relative to her, and biology does not allow sleeping with relatives.
But what about emotions? We are not animals, we are people, and not everything is controlled by biology. Yes, this is true, not everything is decided by biology. But emotions are exactly the same biology, and they serve to ensure that you fulfill your biological program. Your male biology has programmed you for sex throughout your life. The point is not that we have more than just biology. The bottom line is that the biology of men and women when it comes to the sexual component of relationships is completely different. She needs to get offspring from a quality male from sex. And you, men, from sex need to spread your biological material across planet Earth. And no social adjustments from above can drown out this fundamental difference between male and female biology, no matter how society denies it, trying to equalize men and women or reduce the importance of biology to nothing.
What does all this mean in terms of the subject matter of this site? After all, the site is not dedicated to evolutionary psychology, but to resentment. And it means the same as always. on his wife, men. If you don’t like the fact that the frequency of sex is decreasing, write it down on paper. And then, when you clean up the offense and see the situation as it is, you will be able to decide what to do. And perhaps you will understand that from now on you can no longer expect that the same woman will be the source of your male joy and satisfaction all your life. But more on that another time...
2. Permanent commands. We are talking about women with a more dominant character. Such women consider themselves “strong and independent”, and in practice this is expressed in attempts to constantly control the situation. In case of discrepancy between the situation and the scenario of events, directives are issued to correct the vector. Such women have a vector for everything, including their husband. So it falls to him, poor fellow.
Here again, men, wake up! A woman commands you only because you allow her to. Yes, there are men who like to obey a woman, but this is not about them. They do not feel offended by this kind of communication with a woman. Therefore, if you are reading these lines, most likely you are not one of them. Clear your mind, rake out all your fears and limiting beliefs, because of which you are not able to resist a woman. And there it will be clear what to do.
3. Attempts to change it. Women marry expecting a man to change over time. Men marry hoping that a woman will never change. Please, here's Venus and Mars, that's it. A man marries, hoping that everything will be as it was at the very beginning. A stable relationship is one that doesn't change.
Give a man a beautiful, smart, cool woman With big breasted and / or elastic ass + a set of all the qualities he likes, and he will be happy. If only it never changed, always remained as it is.
But this is only with male point vision. WITH female point view, stable relationships are those that have development. Women are more dynamic beings than men.
Women, first of all, with that very dominant character, expect that a man will adapt to new circumstances and, as a result, change if necessary.
Amendment - change if necessary to her. Personally, he may not have any intention of changing, for why? And so everything is fine. But the fact that his wife now and then criticizes him and hints that it is impossible to do this, or that it should be better, this eventually begins to settle in him in the form of resentment.
4. Excessive use of the phrases “You always…”, “You never…”, etc. Oh, women love it. "You never help my mom." "You always leave the toilet seat up." And well, are you really ready to swear that he Always doing something or never doesn't do something there? You don't have to answer, I already know the answer.
Again, the trick is the difference between the communication styles of men and women. The fact that for men and for women these words mean different things. For a man, the words “always” and “never” are determined by their lexical meanings, which can be found in explanatory dictionary. For a woman, these words are subject to the expression of those emotions that she experiences at one time or another. And if the emotions are strong enough, they bypass the linguistic filters in a woman's head, and, ultimately, are displayed in the form of the words "always" and "never".
Men, do not attach any importance to this - just get used to the fact that women work this way - there will be less resentment. Do not cling to words, you are taking them out of context - the context of her emotional state Here and now. And the resentment that you have already accumulated - what do we do with it? We are working on it, of course. Without pity.
5. Making him responsible for his emotional well-being. It should be noted that not only women do this, everyone does it. And men, and old people, and children. And in relation to everything around. It's not me who's offended, it's you who offended me. It's not me who is a fool and a lazy person, this state is bad and steals. Etc.
But still, if we compare men and women in marital relationships, women more often behave with men in such a way that it is the husband's fault that she is in a bad mood. An interesting seeming contradiction. On the one hand, women are more emotional, and on the other hand, they are less likely to realize what causes their emotions. And as a result, they do not realize that when they blame their husband for their emotions, nothing changes. He doesn't understand what he can do to you. Other than apologizing for nothing on the machine to calm you down.
But men, again, the responsibility for the offense is on you. You also do not shine with awareness if you suffer from similar situations. After all, it happened that your wife directed her Bad mood, and you have already formed a sense of guilt in yourself. Then you take responsibility for her bad mood on yourself and begin to accumulate resentment, slowly hating yourself more and more along the way. No problem, work it out.
6. Indifference to his efforts. Do you want to hurt your husband? Stop appreciating what he regularly does for you and your children.
A single man does not need so much money to maintain his existence at the same level. This means that a lot of his motivation to work harder is you and possibly your kids. Alas, often this is not realized or forgotten over time.
A single man does not need to help your mother, fool himself with communication with your relatives, or be faithful for decades. Alas, often this is not realized or forgotten over time.
By no means do I mean that men in marriage make greater efforts to preserve them than women. Not at all. Forgetfulness in relation to each other is a universal human defect, inherent in both men and women. Fortunately, you can fight it - after all, studies were invented for a reason.
Work hard, husbands and wives!
What is the conclusion of all this? There are two of them. The first is mutual understanding of men and women and a conscious attitude to how differently women and men perceive reality and communicate - this is a guarantee harmonious relations. Second - if there is a grudge against your marriage partner - work it out! At the same time, in the process of clearing your brain, you will acquire the necessary transparency of awareness so that you do not have such problems in the future, regardless of your gender or marital status.
The opinion about who is to blame is completely opposite, depending on what kind of representative answers this question. For men, women are to blame for everything, and vice versa: according to the representatives of the fair sex, the strong half of humanity is to blame for all their problems. Why is that?
It's just laid on genetic level. Those women who have suffered from men pass this information on to their daughters, and those - further down the line. In addition, not all women are able to answer for their own problems, so they find extreme ones.
And who else can get under hot hand", no matter how close a man is? This perfect option. Since many men, not wanting to offend or spoil relations with their beloved, really recognize what is not really there. Permissiveness reinforces the opinion of women that it is these malleable men who are to blame for everything.
In fact, men act more logically and rationally than many women.. More in their actions common sense and adequacy than in women. If we girls look at our behavior, we will understand that at least half of the "jambs" attributed to men are the results of our imagination.
Reasons why women blame men
Here are the reasons women are most often offended and blame innocent men for anything:
"Do not feed bread, let me be offended". We are women, we are bored and we are looking for a reason, even which is not there, to "pout." For example, a man was busy with work, put the phone on silent mode, and just at that moment we urgently needed to tell him about our shopping.
A few unanswered calls can lead to completely mind-blowing assumptions: the guy is consumerist about your relationship, considers you empty space and, in general, 100% cheats on you. This can provoke quarrels or even parting.
Women, draw your own conclusions real action and not be guided by your limitless fantasy which can lead you very far from the truth.
"10 minutes to get ready is unthinkable". Girls just can't stand it when their loved ones call and say something like: " Get ready, I'll pick you up in 10 minutes.". Usually a woman needs at least 1-2 hours to put herself in order - choose an outfit, pick up underwear and accessories, wash, put on makeup, do her hair.
Men may not even notice that you have dirty hair, although for you this is a real tragedy. They perceive the image in general - that you are wearing a dress and your hair is gathered in strict hairstyle. Girls perceive it as inattention.
It seems to men that you always look good and 10 minutes to get ready is higher than the roof. Well, women, learn to look stunning always.
"Guess what I want now". Women are so naive creatures that they hope that loved ones can read their minds. Although they know from childhood that there is no Santa Claus, princes are only in fairy tales and no one has the gift to read other people's thoughts.
Do not want problems and quarrels, tell your young man exactly what you want from him. No need to expect miracles from men who are essentially absolute pragmatists, not clairvoyants..
"And in response - silence". Men are much less verbose and emotional than women. If a girl asks: " Did you enjoy lunch?", she expects to hear a bunch of laudatory epithets, but most often the answer is dry: "Yes." For a woman, this is a reason to be offended and accuse a man of not appreciating her work.
The man, on the other hand, absolutely does not understand how he could offend his beloved when he admitted that the dinner was a success. Brevity does not mean that a man does not love you. After all, in the end, he has already made his choice, and if he wants to change it, you will probably be the first to know about it. Learn to perceive men as they are, and do not seek to remake - this is a completely thankless task.
"He does not love me"It's very easy for girls to come to this conclusion - a man just needs to meet friends for a couple of hours or go fishing on a day off. And it doesn't matter that the day before he redid all household chores, walked with children, helped cook dinner, even watched your favorite reality show.
It is very easy to forget about all the good things. Let men improve, leave at least a little personal space - it is necessary for everyone without exception.
He will still go on his favorite fishing trip. But there are 2 options for how he will do it: with a scandal or with a calm soul and with the feeling that he has the most understanding and worthy spouse.
Dear girls, learn to enjoy life! Stop brainwashing the people you love the most. Enjoy every moment when your loved one is near you, and do not try to hang all mortal sins on him.
Why do men blame women for everything?
For many men, feminine energy start- this is a distracting force, and whenever a man does not live the way his vision requires, he begins to blame the woman for everything.
Men, in fact, have always accused women of all earthly sins, including the lack of spiritual development. For example, in Hindu mythology, the main distracting force, the power of illusion, Maya, is represented in the form of a woman.
For many men, women are either glorious goddesses or evil sirens. Men easily and quickly move from one statement to another. If your partner already sees in you not a goddess, as before, but only an object that distracts his attention, then this does not bode well for you.
You, of course, noticed that your partner treats you differently. "How I love you. You are everything to me!” Or, “You're distracting me. I have to pay more attention to you than to work. Leave me alone. You are just a burden to me!”
You are not the only one experiencing this kind of behavior. Men everywhere treat women with disdain, believing that they distract them from something much more important. Men, for example, can't help but notice a bright, radiant woman when she enters a room. If they have led before serious talk, then when a beauty appears, all eyes instantly rush to her. It happens automatically.
In response to it, men become sexually polarized. Even if they try to hide their feelings, then energetically sexual female attractiveness makes itself known several times a day, causing a reaction in them. Thus, a man has an innate distrust of women. If it is nearby beautiful woman they are unable to focus on their work. Their brains are clouded.
Now your partner will now and then complain about absent-mindedness. Even if you are ready to come to his aid, support him, he will still blame you for everything. Looking at you, he will imagine that your relationship is either forcing him to do something or compromising him. He will start to hate you. And this happens very often. Simply amazing!
Your man himself must develop his masculine culture in order to become strong enough and as a result achieve complete clarity in everything, in his ideas about life.
It is unlikely that you will be able to guide him in such a process. But you can continue to love him, develop internally. You want to live your life in love, whether you intend to stay with your old partner or find yourself a new one. If a man and a woman really like to make love in an intimate setting, then they can ignore the insults inflicted on each other and continue in the same spirit.
