Relations with a girl: the secrets of a harmonious union. How to make up with a girl after a fight

Perhaps you have had such a thing that you spent several dates with a woman, and the relationship ended there. With each of your girlfriends, you often quarreled, the relationship heated up, and as a result, parting. This happens when a guy does not know how to behave with a girl in a relationship. In this article, we will look at three important rules, following which you can significantly improve your relationship with your soulmate.

So, how should you behave with a girl?

No accusations, complaints or criticism

If a girl asks you something that you are well versed in (and she is not), never reproach her for not knowing some things that are obvious to you. If you humiliate a girl by hinting at her illiteracy, she will be very offended. Sometimes it's hard to restrain yourself from being sarcastic, especially when a man is busy with an important matter, and a girl pesters with stupid questions. Try to build your relationship without criticism. If a girl does something wrong, do not criticize, teach her to do it right. It's more difficult, but much more effective. A woman turns to a man to help her solve her problems. She only needs help, not criticism.

To reinforce this rule, live at least one day without criticism. This applies not only to your girlfriend, but also to loved ones. If you fail at least once in a day, then you failed the task, and you will need to start doing it again the next day. This rule will help you improve the quality of communication not only with your girlfriend, but also with other people.

Find details for which you can praise your girlfriend.

She will be very happy if you sincerely praise her from time to time. Your opinion about her is very important for a girl. Therefore, it is worth praising her more often. But the praise must be well-deserved and said from the heart. If you just flatter her, she will understand it, and she will not have the most best impression about you. A frank compliment is the best thing a man can say to a woman. Look at her and tell me what you like about her. It does not matter how it will sound, the main thing is that from the heart. She will fall asleep and think about your words, tell all her friends what a wonderful boyfriend she has.

Pay attention to the needs of your girl and take them into account.

If your girlfriend asks for something (within reason), then she needs it. During your general pastime, consider her wishes. When your significant other has life difficulties, you should not stand aside. If she comes to you in a depressed state, you should support her. As they say, both in joy and in sorrow. But here it is necessary to distinguish, real problems from women's whims. Often, girls begin to act up and frown, so that the guy starts fussing and pleasing in everything.

These rules also have one feature - you should not use the second and third rules too often when the relationship is just starting. If the girl isn't already in love with you, she'll think you're doing it because you want to please her. But when your relationship has grown stronger, you see that the girl has real feelings for you, these actions will help you become more closer friend to friend.

How to improve relations with your husband? Despite the global nature of this issue, I believe that there are such recommendations that help to improve relations in any couple, regardless of age, level of the problem and the amount of time lived together. And even if it seems to you that the relationship is already on the verge - I am convinced that there are ways to restore them and make them much better, warmer, closer, happier than they ever were.

In this article, I want to draw your attention to the intricacies of the relationship between a man and a woman that you did not know or did not pay due attention to. But you will not get the desired effect from the recommendations made if you do not feel what you are saying. Words, deeds and the desire to improve relations must be sincere, and the attitude towards a man must be respectful. That's the only way you can do it.

How to build a relationship with your husband - 5 easy steps

I present to your attention five simple steps leading to how to improve relations with your husband.

Step #1: Find out from yourself what exactly you don't like

Take a piece of paper and a pen. To begin with, you need to find out from yourself - what exactly does not suit you in your current relationship, and what needs to change, so that you say that now everything is as it should be. This will give you a clear understanding of how to build relationships. To do this, ask yourself two simple questions and answer them honestly:

Who am I in this relationship?
What role do I play in them?

These two questions will help you understand whether you are in love or emotional dependence, whether your relationship is healthy. If you hear an answer from yourself, such as: "victim" or "a woman who wants to be loved" - you are probably in a dependent relationship. How to get out of the role of a victim, you can read in this article.

There are many possible answers to these questions, so try to analyze them yourself. What are you doing that has shaped this role for you in a relationship? If you didn't like your answer, what do you think needs to be done to get out of this role now?

And now we will continue to find out what is your personal dissatisfaction in the relationship. Let's move on to questions about values. Ask yourself right now and write down the detailed answers:

Why do I need this relationship?
What do they give me?
What is so important for me I get in this relationship?
What values do I want to realize through a partner?
Am I able to realize these values?
Which of my values are not being implemented in the relationship right now?

Your values in a relationship can be, for example, to feel happy, to communicate on deep topics. Friendship, respect, understanding, care, money.

As a rule, people enter into relationships in order for someone to realize their values, to fill in the “voids”. If your partner is not able to implement them, then only dependent relationships await you. And if you have been in a relationship for a long time, then most likely the discord occurred because some of your values were realized before, but now for some reason they have stopped. In other words, you stopped getting from the relationship what you used to get. Write down which of your values have been embodied in the relationship in the past but are not embodied now.

This was the first step in which we found out what for you at a deep level caused discord in the relationship. Now let's move on to how the partner feels.

Step #2: How to find out what does not suit him

On initial stage relationships, a person falls in love with you if you match with him in values and are ready to satisfy most of them. For example, you both want to live in your own house, not an apartment. Both want to have two children, not eight. Both love dogs more than cats. Both want a long-term serious relationship, not a short sexual adventure. If your values do not match at least 60%, your relationship is unlikely to last long. But if you have been living together for more than three years, then you can overcome any discord.

So, how do you know what exactly at the level of values has ceased to satisfy your partner?

The first thing you need to do is mentally put yourself in his place. So you can understand what he expects from you. What exactly could be the solution to the problem for him.

It is impossible to mentally stand in his place if you have aggression against him. First you need to calm down. How to get rid of aggression, read in this article.

So, get into his position, into his position. And think with his thoughts: “What do I need her to do so that I want to change the situation for the better? What values of mine are not being realized in relationships? What am I missing? How can I be motivated to make myself crazily want to build a relationship?” Look at the situation through his eyes.

Motivation is of two types - “motivation from” and “motivation for”. For example, you can motivate a man to do something by threatening him with a lack of sex (motivation from) or vice versa, by doing something that he would be extremely happy about (motivation for). In a relationship with a man, try to always choose the second type of motivation. Each favorable outcome of such motivation will strengthen your union and bring you closer.

So, you took the place of your partner and understood what he needs. Which of his values are you realizing and which are not. And they found out what needs to be done so that he himself would madly want to make peace. Write it all down.

Step #3: How to mend relations with your husband - the right fight

Now you clearly know what exactly does not satisfy you in your current relationship, and you assume that it does not satisfy your husband in them. You also realize what can motivate him to reconcile.

Let's move on to how to restore relationships, knowing all this. The first step you need to take is to quarrel properly. The right quarrel is always growth, development in a relationship. It excludes the so-called you-messages (reproaches, dissatisfaction, complaints), and instead is filled exclusively with I-messages (saying your needs and desires). Here are examples of you-messages: “You always come late”, “You never wash the dishes after you”, “You never understood me”. Quarrels filled with such messages have no effect. They only alienate you from each other, creating a cold atmosphere of disharmony and rejection in the house.

You-messages are the transfer of responsibility from oneself to another. In order to quarrel correctly, constructively, you need to learn to take responsibility for yourself.

Examples of I-messages: “I don’t like that you come in late. This upsets me. I would like you to come on time, it will make me happy.”

“I’m sorry that you don’t wash your dishes. It upsets me. It would be great if next time you washed it. I will be very happy about it."

“When I see that you do not understand me, I am upset. It pains me to realize that you are not striving to do this. Please listen to me carefully. And I, in turn, will try to convey my idea more clearly. I will be happy if you listen and understand me.

The main difference between “you” and “I” messages is that in the first case, you completely relieve yourself of responsibility and shift it to the interlocutor, and in the second, you express your dissatisfaction, while leaving the focus of attention on yourself. The I-message algorithm is as follows:

You express the essence of your indignation without judgment, without emotion
Describe your feelings and emotions caused by this situation
Express your wishes by suggesting possible alternatives partner behaviors that would suit you

When describing your wishes, you can also attach feelings and emotions to them. “I will be glad if”, “I will be so grateful to you”, “I will be happy”.

This way you can always communicate in the language of i-messages. Such communication will make your relationship harmonious. The right quarrel always leads to rapprochement, the development of relations. Partners learn to listen to each other and implement what the other needs.

And do not forget about sincerity! If you don't feel what you're saying, it won't work.

Step #4: Dealing with the depths of a lingering fight

At the beginning of the article, we talked about values - yours and your partner's. Now let's move on to action. Step four is a frank conversation. Talk to your partner seriously. You can tell him how much work you've done by thinking about his and your values in the relationship. Speak with the help of I-messages which of your values are realized in the relationship, and which have ceased. And why would you want them back. Express your wishes and offer alternative options for partner behavior. Do it calmly and carefully, without shifting responsibility on him.

Then move on to his values. Ask if you guessed right? Or maybe he wants something completely different from the relationship? Invite him to speak in the same way as you did. Let your partner talk about himself, about his feelings and emotions, without shifting everything onto you. Try to explain to him how it works. Ideally, let him read this article.

And now slowly begin to understand each other deeper. Talking about values will give you an understanding of what really caused discord in the relationship. Fighting on a deeper level than yelling over unwashed dishes and poorly cooked dinner will bring you closer and understand what you both want from each other. You will also understand how you both can give it to each other. One such fruitful quarrel will save you several years of misunderstanding. And perhaps on the same day will give a new start to your relationship.

Step #5: New relationship

Start building relationships in a new way. Bring them the right quarrels. Remove from your life you-messages that lead to the collapse of any relationship. Every time you feel unhappy about something, remember the self-message formula: "Situation-feeling-wishes." Use it constantly. Very soon it will reach automatism for you, and then it will safely descend to the level of the subconscious, and you will always quarrel like this, without prompting.

Even if your husband is not set up for this kind of communication, he will imperceptibly become your reflection. It is impossible for a calm person who takes responsibility for his values to respond with rudeness. If not quickly, then gradually he will move to your level of communication. You will talk like adults instead of throwing you-messages at each other like hot cakes.

After you have established a relationship with your husband, I recommend that you read articles about the psychology of relationships and about male psychology. With their help, you will be able to establish a balance in the family and learn how to build mature, harmonious, respectful and, most importantly, long-term relationships.

So, you have learned how to build relationships with your husband. Any relationship can be made happy if you turn to the depths. Let me briefly remind you of 5 steps to restore a warm, respectful relationship:

Step one. Learn about your own values. By understanding why you entered into a relationship, you will be able to remember which of your values were realized at the very beginning and which of them ceased to be fulfilled. So you will understand what does not suit you at a deep level.

Step two. Put yourself in his place and think in his mind. Ask yourself the same questions about values that you asked yourself in the first step.

Step three. Learn to quarrel properly, without shifting responsibility to your partner. Express your wishes and offer an alternative. And don't forget feelings.

Step four. Talk about values using the I-message technique. Reach out to your own and his depths. Make a decision to meet each other's values.

Step five. Start a new relationship in which you both take responsibility. Even if only you do this, over time, the husband will move to your level. After all, we are all reflections of each other.

If you don't know how to mend your relationship with your husband and need support along the way, you can contact me for psychological consultation or ask a question by filling out the form in the "Contacts" section. I wish you wonderful quarrels that develop warm and happy relationships!

Have a great start to a new relationship!

How to build relationships - 17 rules

Greetings to all! Today I want to tell how to build relationships with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. The basis for this article was the action, which was supported by my readers.

I asked them to email me about their relationship problems, and based on their responses, I've tried to present in this article the most common couple relationship problems. I also built on my past mistakes of living with my wife. From these mistakes, I drew conclusions, which I am happy to share in these rules.

Rule 1 - Take responsibility

We have all heard a lot about how important it is to be able to take responsibility in a relationship. And what kind of disasters does it lead to when partners begin to shift the blame for their actions and words onto another person or blame circumstances for everything.

But for me, accepting responsibility means not only openly admitting your guilt, but, most importantly, it means being ready to correct what has developed through your fault. People who blame their partner or someone else for their troubles, but not themselves, simply capitulate to difficulties, give up. “It’s not my fault, so I can’t do anything about it!”

But to take responsibility means to come to the conclusion: “Yes, this happened because of me, so I can influence it!”

I understand how hard it can be to admit to a partner that you made a mistake, that you could have done better than you did. And it is most difficult to do this in those moments when your pride is hurt. But if you do not, then you will turn away from the problem and it will hang, unresolved, in the space of your relationship.

You subconsciously think that by admitting mistakes, you demonstrate weakness. But in fact, taking responsibility, stepping over your wounded pride and self-esteem, you show real strength! Because it's much easier to blame someone else than it is to admit your mistake! The desire to point out the true causes of the problem and correct them, even if you created these causes, is a sign of real courage and wisdom.

Where does your responsibility in a relationship begin and end? I believe it goes much further than many of you are used to thinking. You are responsible not only for your actions, but also for your reaction to events.

If your wife pissed you off with her unfair accusation, and you offended her in response, then it’s not only your spouse’s fault that she began to unfairly accuse you, but you too. Your responsibility lies in the fact that you could not control yourself and brought to the scandal, although you could solve the problem more calmly. You are a free person and you are responsible for your reaction, no one can make you angry, annoyed and lose your temper. Get out of yourself only yourself.

If your husband does not want to give up his bad habits, despite your assurances, think about it, maybe you pressed him too hard, blamed him, instead of treating him with understanding and offering effective ways out of the problem?

But taking responsibility does not mean blaming yourself for everything. It means coming to terms with how much you and your partner can participate in solving the problem instead of turning away from it. In the examples above, both partners are responsible for the problem. And believe me, if you take on some of your responsibility, and do not completely blame it on your partner, then it will be much easier for your partner to realize their own participation in the problem.

Agree there is a big difference between:

“I’m tired of you constantly blaming me for everything! You cannot live without your claims!”

“I think my mistake is that I lost my temper, I should not have yelled at you and provoked a conflict. Perhaps your accusations are not without foundation, but you express them in a very aggressive way, and it seems to me that they are somewhat unfair. Let's deal with this. I don't need to shout, but you need to learn to speak your mind calmly."

I'm not saying that both spouses are to blame for every conflict. I'm trying to say how important it is to solve every problem in the family together! After all, relationships are not only about you, they are also about the other person. And if both partners do not take an active part in the relationship, then such a relationship will collapse.

And if you and your partner cannot share responsibility for the conflict, then use good rule. Instead of arguing about who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself: “What can I personally do to improve the situation?” Believe if each of the partners will be guided by this simple principle, then it will become much easier to develop your relationships and find a way out of problem situations.

Rule 2 - Don't leave conflicts unattended

I know how much I want to hug after the ardor of a quarrel, give a rest to tense nerves and calmly forget about what caused the conflict, until the next similar one happens. Avoid this common mistake in your relationship! Yes, give yourself time, calm down, make peace, but then return to the analysis of the causes of the conflict. Why did it happen? Who is responsible for it? How can you personally and your spouse solve this problem?

But don't get attached to the temporary excitement of the truce. Now you want to act, but soon your ardor will pass. In order not to give up and not return to ignoring the problem. Discuss as specifically as possible each other's actions to resolve the conflict. When will you start these activities? What will these actions be? Which approximate dates overcoming problems you see?

If either of you constantly loses your temper and shows excessive emotionality, start practicing practices that help balance your emotions, such as yoga or meditation.

If conflicts are due to bad habits spouse, then find a way to help a person get rid of these habits. But let the one who will fight addiction not be left alone! Let him see understanding, love and readiness to provide any support from his partner.

Don't focus only on what you know. If you do not know a way to solve your problem, this does not mean that such a way does not exist. If you really want to overcome some difficulty, you will find how to do it. Because whoever seeks will always find! And only laziness creates all obstacles.

Resolve conflicts constructively instead of yelling at each other and then hugging and forgetting everything until the next fight.

Rule 3 - Be less offended and be able to forgive

Resentment in a relationship serves as a way to influence your partner: "look how bad you did, so I won't talk to you." Or it can be a way of revenge: "for what you did, I will be offended by you." The danger of resentment is the same as the danger of passionate reconciliation, after which we forget about what the conflict was about. Emotions slowly subside, resentment passes: after all, we cannot be angry forever. And sometimes it seems to us that we have already solved the problem with our resentment. Or we showed our partner how offended we were, and now we think that he himself will understand everything and correct himself. Or we survived the “preventive” period of lack of communication with each other, during which, as it seems to us, our relations have recovered by themselves and can continue further.

But this is a deceptive feeling, moreover, it can be not only for you, but also for your partner. Neither you nor he will want to return to a conflict that seems to have already passed.

But it's always better to go back to the causes of the conflict, as I said in the previous paragraph. If you want to influence your partner, it is always better to do it in the form of a calm, constructive dialogue than resentment. Well, revenge certainly will not make your relationship better.

Some people are also offended by the fact that they unconsciously understand the absurdity of their claims, they understand that it is better not to express them directly, but to be offended and not to say what, this is just right! Avoid these games! In general, avoid any methods of manipulating your partner's feelings, one of which is resentment.

But even if you are offended, then know how to forgive!

Rule 4 - Admit your guilt

It can be very important for your partner that you admit your guilt and sincerely repent. Even after the conflict has exhausted itself, and you have reconciled, do not be too lazy to apologize, say how sorry you are if you feel your own mistake. Forget that before that you defended yourself with ardor and did not want to admit responsibility, step over your pride and say that you were wrong. But only do it with a pure heart and sincere intentions!

Don't do it as a favor or present it as a generous and noble act in the expectation that your partner will immediately fall on your face before your remorse. Be prepared that your apologies may be met with a cold and unenthusiastic response. You should not react to this as if your noble gesture was not appreciated. Believe me, time will pass, and your remorse will fall like a hard coin into the piggy bank of your relationship!

Rule 5 - Listen to the other, learn to take criticism soberly

In the midst of a conflict, when partners exchange accusations and claims, in fact, no one listens to anyone. Each of the parties to the conflict is in a state of attack or defense, but not of perception and understanding. Our psyche is arranged in such a way that we first of all try to protect ourselves from criticism, find contradictions in it, find the most convincing refutation or respond to it with retaliatory criticism. The problem is that we do not always think about how it really is, do not see the truth, obeying the ancient mental mechanism. And we think that since it seems to us that we are right, it means that we are really right.

Try to change these habitual patterns and instead of immediately looking for another counterargument in a quarrel, think about how thorough the criticism addressed to you is? Try to take your mind off your resentment and irritation. Don't let your offended Ego run ahead of you like a man stung by a bee.

The criticism-stung ego makes you think, "I feel I've been wronged, I have to respond." It prevents you from looking at the problem from the perspective of another person. But if we first of all try to imagine how the other person sees everything, then we will become much more objective and understand our partner better, therefore, we will not react so sharply to criticism and perceive it more soberly.

Just take a time out, calm your emotions, let the wounded pride, which again and again brings you back to the insults of your “I”, be silenced. And calmly concentrate on your partner, try to mentally move into him. How does he see the situation in the context of what you know about him and your relationship history? Why is he criticizing you? What reasons does he have for this? How does he react to some of your actions, how does he feel? Does he allow such actions towards you? How would you feel if you were treated like this?

During this mental exercise, your Ego will like a magnet attract your thoughts back to itself, to the “I” position, as soon as you notice this, smoothly transfer your attention to the “HE-SHE (She feels, she wants)” position. When you try this, you will understand that it is not at all easy to go beyond your Self, your desires and put yourself in the place of another person. But everything comes with experience and you can learn to change your egocentric perception of everything over time.

I cannot say that this exercise will necessarily lead you to the fact that you will see only your own guilt in what happened. No, you will simply begin to understand your partner better and take criticism more soberly.

Also ask yourself: how can criticism help you? Yes, to help. Listening to criticism means not taking it as a way to lower your dignity or lower your self-esteem. This is an opportunity to get an idea of your shortcomings, weaknesses or to understand how your partner perceives you.

Imagine that you came to the doctor for an examination and he says to you: “You have bad posture, excess weight And elevated level cholesterol." It is not very reasonable to answer him: “Look at yourself, but you yourself are not very slender!” Of course, it would be right to listen to the words of the doctor and take advantage of his recommendations, for example, eat less fatty foods and go to the gym.

But why can't we always listen to the words of our soul mate, even if they relate to our character and personality? After all, we can also change it, recognize our shortcomings and get rid of them, just as we can correct problems with overweight. Understand that criticism is not meant to remind you of your weaknesses, it gives you the opportunity to improve, to become better!

Of course, it is not always adequate. But if it does not correspond to reality, what is the use of being offended and worried? And if it is true, then all the more you should not respond with reciprocal accusations! Most often there is a mixed version: criticism becomes exaggerated, amplified by emotions and resentment, embellished with speculation. And the true wisdom of a relationship lies in being able to extract from it what is really true and use it in order to better understand yourself. And at the same time, do not respond to empty and unfounded accusations.

I will explain everything said in this paragraph with an example from my family life. My wife sometimes says to me: “You never listen to me,” when I, once again buried in my work, let her words fall on deaf ears.

Of course, my Self does not accept such a sharp wording: "Never!" (after all, this is not true!) and begins to defend himself. My first reaction was usually: “Yes, you exaggerate everything, you just distract me, I can’t switch quickly when I work, you yourself can’t find the moments when it’s better to contact me.” But when you try to distract yourself from your I, a slightly different picture comes out.

Indeed, often when a spouse contacts me, I don’t react, even if I’m not busy with work, but just think about something (I consider this conflict in the context of the relationship history in order to understand how she perceives it). Did I notice such a reaction on her part (does she act like that)? When I talk to her, most of the time she listens to me. But if she constantly ignored my words, then I would probably be offended by this (and if I were in her place?). And resentment causes emotions because of which she says: “You never listen!” (how does she feel?) Of course, this is an exaggeration, often I listen to what she is trying to tell me. This exaggeration is caused by feelings, but these feelings can be understood. Probably, I need to be more attentive and learn to listen to my spouse when she talks to me, and not to hover in my thoughts. I will simply become more attentive in life if I learn to listen to it (how will this help me become a better person?).

Rule 6 - Pay attention to the positives

It just so happens that we gradually get used to the virtues of our soulmate. They become a given for us, and we basically begin to notice the shortcomings. Especially clearly these shortcomings are seen in comparison with other pairs. After I lived for several years with my future wife, I began to think that we might not be suitable for each other, that we are different in many ways. I began to dwell on the differences and shortcomings, and at one time it seemed that they represented the only and most significant problem.

And only a few years later I realized how much we really have in common. And this commonality and similarity is manifested in such basic things that you quickly get used to them, and sometimes it is difficult to discern, especially if you start thinking only about the differences and shortcomings of your partner. And the nuances, they are nuances for that, in order to stand out against the background of general patterns, attracting attention to themselves.

People are different and everyone has their flaws. You will not be able to find an ideal or ideally similar person to you. It just has to be accepted.

Try not to constantly compare your partner with others. Try to think about what is good about him, how you are like him, instead of thinking only about the bad. Why did you love him? Maybe for understanding, for his character, for his mind, for those things that remain in him now, but you just stopped paying attention to them? Imagine these virtues in your mind and mentally thank the person for having them. Better yet, tell your young man in words how grateful you are for his qualities and how much you love him for it! He will be very pleased, he will see that his merits are appreciated, and not ignored. Let's do it today when you see it! And in general, try to praise him more often (but do not overdo it, avoid flattery), so that he sees how dear he is to you, and that you can see in him what he probably values most of all in himself, what he tries to maintain and develop .

Of course, it happens that your partner practically consists of only flaws. In this case, you do not need to look for a grain of good in it in order to grab onto it. Here already something needs to be changed in the relationship.

And remember to seek positive sides in another person does not mean accepting his shortcomings. Try to help him correct his shortcomings. But it is not necessary only to make up the appearance of a person from them.

Rule 7 - Be sincere and open

There is a wonderful classic multi-part film by Ingmar Bergman "Scenes from a Married Life". The film shows how insincerity, secrecy, avoidance of "forbidden" topics can lead to the collapse of outwardly prosperous relationships.

Do not bring the relationship to what the heroes of this picture brought them to (divorce). Remember, there are no "forbidden" topics in a relationship. If you are tormented by doubts, fears, insecurities, tell your partner about it. Let him know what you don't like about your relationship, listen to what he feels uncomfortable and displeased with. Discuss it and come to a compromise. No need to avoid "sensitive" issues, like sex, because this is also part of the relationship.

Of course, you should not try to forcefully find out all the secrets of your spouse, but reveal all your past secrets yourself. This also needs to be balanced, as well as everything else that concerns your relationship.

Rule 8 - Develop your relationship by developing yourself!

It would be a big mistake to think that relationships will develop by themselves, as soon as they start. Relationships require constant attention, the involvement of both partners.

Growth means not only strengthening the bond, for example, the decision to live together, marry, have children, but also the personal development of each partner!

Relationships sometimes require a lot more from people than loneliness, a separate existence. Why? Because in order for the connection between two people to be strong and harmonious, both of them will need to step over that part of themselves that is the hardest to step over! Through your selfishness, your endless desires.

Both partners need to learn to listen to the other, find a compromise, give in and care. But not everyone has these qualities and often they need to be developed. That is why I understand the problems of many young couples, which consist in the fact that there is a strong conflict of interests between two people, one of them or each is trying to do as he wants, without listening to the wishes of the partner.

And there is nothing surprising in this, just as there is nothing surprising in the fact that a person, starting a new job, does it with errors, since he has no experience. But relationships also require experience and certain skills. It happens that before a person had his first relationship, for him there were no other people with their desires. There were his parents who took care of him, friends who didn't demand much. And he had only his "I", with all his desires, which he used to satisfy without making allowances for other people. He does not even understand that there is another person who also wants something. And the desires of partners do not always coincide.

The ability to find a compromise, to listen to another person is a skill that needs to be developed. From my reasoning, it may seem that relationships are some kind of prison, calling on a person to give up what is dear to him for his precious personality. But it's not. The development of compassion, empathy, the ability to say “no” to thousands of “wants” actually lead to freedom. Freedom from our selfish desires, our Ego that commands us. Altruism is not rigid self-restraint, it is an attempt to get rid of anger, self-indulgence, stubbornness, obsession with oneself for the sake of joint happiness. And strong relationships, on the one hand, require a person to step over his egoism, on the other hand, they are an excellent school for the development of altruism, understanding and empathy. I will return to this idea in the conclusion.

Relationships discipline and strengthen the personality and through this they themselves become stronger.

Rule 9 - Don't build relationships around sex

In our free age, after the atmosphere of puritanical morality began to evaporate in the relationships of people around the world, which tabooed the discussion of sex and belittled its role in the life of spouses, people began to strive from one extreme to another. From the extreme of prohibition and secrecy to the extreme of openness and permissiveness.

Sex has become more and more important to people. Undoubtedly, it is of considerable importance in a relationship. But here, too, a balance must be struck, without overestimating the role of sexual intimacy.

Many people see it as a disaster that sex is not as varied and wild as they would like it to be. This leads them to either break existing relationships, or to search for relationships on the side. But in fact, sexual pleasure is just one of the many forms of a love affair, there are many manifestations of love besides it!

Of course, there is nothing wrong with striving to improve the quality sexual life. But you can’t get hung up on it, believing that the absence of a stormy and frequent sex destroys your relationship when everything else is in order. Maybe it's not the lack of everyday pleasure that makes you unsatisfied? What makes you so is your irrepressible, unbridled desires that you cannot fully satiate, no matter how many partners you have and how often you have sex! You can’t give full play to your desires, not only because of some moral considerations, but because the more you indulge them, the more hungry, gluttonous and insatiable they become!

Constant sex with multiple partners will not make you happy, it will make you addicted!

Puritan prohibitions also had their own wisdom, aimed at curbing spoilage, depravity and satiety. Although strict prohibitions are also extremes that should be avoided.

No matter how stormy sex is, it is not able to bind two partners as tightly as empathy, friendship, deep understanding, care, love. Building relationships around sex means making them limited, weak, dependent, and incomplete.

Rule 10 - Accept that you may have different interests

Your interests do not have to coincide in everything. No need to look for similarities in everything and suffer because of the lack thereof. Today I was asked. “Nikolai, I see that your wife’s website is dedicated to esotericism, and you yourself seem to be far from mysticism. How do you find a compromise between your views and the beliefs of your spouse?

The fact of the matter is that I cannot say that we have agreement on this issue and that we are striving for it. My wife believes in things that I don't, but that's okay! In different people different views and beliefs, that's the way we are. And the art of relationships is to stop making a big deal out of it, to accept the fact that people are different.

It cost me a lot of work and time to learn a little not to take hostility the beliefs of my soul mate, not to argue on every occasion, not to criticize them. I realized how important it is for her what she believes in and began to respect and appreciate it. After all, it brings joy and peace of mind to the person I love.

I cannot say that we are trying hard to come to some kind of compromise, a synthesis of my and her views with her convictions. Despite the fact that in many places we agree, somewhere we categorically disagree with each other. But we try to just leave it as it is, and calmly accept it. Why should one person change his views to please another?

If your young man, for example, sometimes plays computer games, and you consider this a useless and stupid activity, then you should not try to convince him every time of what nonsense he is doing, if this does not bring much harm to the family. If he allows himself this in rare cases, then leave it as it is. Respect someone else's small and harmless weakness. And the top of your generosity and understanding will be, for example, to give him some kind of computer game, even if you think that this is a waste of money. But it will be nice for your young man!

Personally, it took a lot of work for me to accept even the small expenses of my wife on esotericism, which, of course, I considered meaningless. But I think I managed to go through this stage and come to the understanding that she likes it, how she loves it, therefore, these expenses cannot be empty. And I am very glad that I managed to overcome this rejection in myself.

On the other hand, if you yourself are a young man whom your spouse accuses of devoting a couple of hours a week to computer games take it easy. She does not need to prove in the heat of the moment that you are developing yourself in this way and enter into polemics and quarrels. Yes, your wife cannot understand you, but leave it as it is, do not try to come to an agreement through quarrels and insults. If you stop responding to her attacks, then sooner or later she will run out of “fuel” for accusations.

I do not mean to say that one should not strive for understanding and compromise. Try to understand how important certain things are for your soul mate. But if you can’t understand this in any way, these things seem empty and stupid to you, just accept it and let your loved one enjoy them. But here, too, you should not take this principle to an extreme and allow your partner some completely destructive behavior, for example, drinking every day or getting addicted to drugs. Everything has a limit.

Rule 11 - Know how to say no!

You should not constantly indulge the absurd demands of your spouse. If your significant other, for example, requires you to report on every step you take, outside of his or her presence, then you do not have to satisfy this desire. No need to feed other people's shortcomings, such as fear and paranoia. You should not think that if you refuse your husband or wife something deeply unpleasant for you, you will lose his love and respect. On the contrary, in this way you will preserve and demonstrate your own independence, the presence of your will and your desires.

Rule 12 - Keep a balance between time spent together and the independence of each partner

Try not to impose yourself excessively on your partner. Leave him room for independence. You should not try to control his every step and strive to fill all the time with being near him. I understand that this advice is difficult to follow for those who see the meaning of life only in their love for one person. But the intrusive desire to limit someone else's freedom may meet resistance and rejection of your partner. In order not to feel painful attachment to your husband or wife, learn to spend time alone with yourself. Indeed, in a relationship there should be room for both loneliness and your personal affairs. Find something that you enjoy, that brings you joy, that you can do and enjoy when your partner is not around. Do not reduce your whole life only to your relationships, expand the horizons of your hobbies and activities!

But at the same time, concern for one's own independence should not develop into promiscuity and ignoring relationships. Yes, on the one hand, you should not try to spend all the time in each other's arms, but also you should not neglect the care of the relationship and the attention that you can give to your spouse. And there is no need to endure the fact that your soul mate does not pay attention to you at all. How to find a balance?

Meetings should not be too rare if you are in a serious relationship, but at the same time, you do not need to see each other every day, unless, of course, both of you want to. If your husband sometimes meets with friends, with work partners, then there is nothing to worry about, he should have his own life. But if it develops into everyday activities after work, when he doesn’t see you anyway, then this is already going beyond. In general, there can be no precise recommendations on how not to cross a certain line between imposition and the right to independence. You need to rely on your wisdom. Remember, the devil lives in extremes!

Rule 13 - Don't "play chamomile"

“Everything is so good with us, he is wonderful and caring, but it seems to me that I have disappeared from him strong feelings". From the fact of not having feelings, people often make a big problem.

Do not take the weakening of feelings as a symptom that there are problems in the relationship and some action needs to be taken. Do not get attached to feelings, because they are temporary and impermanent. passion and strong love pass, such is the nature of man. Even when they appear in a relationship, they are not permanent: either they are there, or they are not there, then you feel some kind of surge of tenderness towards your partner, but at another moment, listening to yourself, you understand that these feelings do not exist.

If you put such an unreliable and fickle thing as feelings as the basis of your relationship, then your relationship will become just as unreliable and fickle. It's like building only wind farms in one country. The weather is very changeable, so the supply of electricity to cities will be very unstable.

I'm not saying you should completely ignore your emotions. You just should not see them as the only criterion for your relationship. You shouldn't get attached to them. If your husband is really caring and sensitive, if everything is fine with you, then you don’t have to constantly play camomile and try to evoke feelings in yourself. So, on the contrary, you will only attract tension and doubts that will make it difficult to see any emotions. Therefore, relax, enjoy the relationship, stop thinking about it, and then the feelings will come on their own, and then leave again, only to return later. After all, they are as unpredictable as the wind!

And perhaps, when you relax, you will understand that there have always been feelings, just behind your desire for strong feelings, to unbridled passion, you have already forgotten how to distinguish softer emotions. The abundance of bright sensual colors at the beginning of a relationship can distort your vision, so that you stop seeing calm tones for a while.

The same can be applied to your expectations from a partner. Don't expect him to always be Romeo in love. His feelings are just as fickle as yours. Make allowance for the fact that men tend to be more reserved in expressing their feelings than women.

Rule 14 - Learn Diplomacy

I am sure that many of those reading this article are faced with the problem that they would like to positively influence their partner, but they do not succeed. Your partner does not pay attention to you or has flaws that he does not want to correct, and you can’t set him on the right path in any way. You are concerned about your relationship and you have a completely noble desire to fix it. I think that those who are used to letting things take their course are unlikely to read about how to fix relationships. So, this is a small compliment to you.

Changing, correcting a partner is a very difficult task and not always feasible. I know this firsthand. For a long time my wife could do absolutely nothing with my laziness, indifference, violent emotions, promiscuity, irresponsibility and infantilism. Of course, I did not want to listen to anything, because, as it seemed to me, I myself knew everything better than anyone, and no one could be my decree. And I understand that such pride is characteristic of many people, especially men. They are more than women subject to the illusion that they know everything about everything that is always right. They always strive to form an opinion in advance about every thing in the world, even if they do not understand something. They do not want to accept someone else's help and someone else's support, and if they use it, then without gratitude.

Of course, I am not generalizing and do not want to say that all men behave this way. I just met more men with the described qualities than women. Yes, I used to be like that too. And I must not have been helped by any assurances until I myself wanted to change.

Therefore, I understand how difficult it is to explain something to a proud person, for whom it is much more important to remain in the paradigm of their ideas and beliefs, to feel right than to improve, to become better. His pride, like a wall, can reflect all sincere attempts to help. So how do you influence your partner? I think that the issue of subtle diplomacy requires a separate article, which I may publish. But I'll still give you a few tips.

There is no need to aggressively impose on a person some truths with which he does not agree. Encourage him to try everything on his own experience, to see everything for himself. Create the appearance that your partner has reached everything himself, and not at your behest. Praise him and show him how much you appreciate his efforts to overcome his shortcomings.

But at the same time, do not scold for failures, urge you to calmly try again and again. No need to tell him how bad he is, rather tell him how you suffer because of his shortcomings and how you would like him to overcome them. Carry on a dialogue with him, take an interest in his successes, suggest new methods. Let him at least try, and if something does not work, he will have the right to quit. Help and guide, but at the same time leave room for independence.

Rule 15 - Build relationships on trust

The more you show trust in your partner, the harder it will be for him to betray that trust. After all, it is much worse to lose what you have than to simply confirm existing fears and suspicions. If possible, avoid paranoia, constant checks, surveillance, leading questions. As I wrote in an article about jealousy, this behavior does not serve to strengthen relationships, but only slowly destroys them.

While of course you can't trust someone who constantly deceives you, over-trusting is also bad! Be careful, do not let any crooks turn your head and play with your feelings. If a person has deceived your trust one or more times, draw conclusions and be vigilant!

Rule 16 - Always do more than is required of you

Often old lovers get tired of any manifestation of initiative, creativity and desire for novelty. They get used, each to their own, unspoken duties, and do not want to do anything that goes beyond their scope.

But new positive trends in relationships, a fresh initiative is always good! It brings people together, awakens dormant feelings, helps to feel care and warmth, rather than indifference and coldness. Therefore, make unexpected gifts and surprises, master the skill of family life that is alien to you. If you are a man, then start cooking, making it easier for your wife to do this duty. If you are a woman, think of something pleasant and useful that you can please and surprise your spouse with. Be creative and be creative.

Think about what your soul mate wants, what will make her work easier and make her or him happy. Here we are talking not only about making an unexpected surprise, but also about taking part in your partner's life, stop obsessing only about your life and your problems.

Rule 17 - Be willing to let go of a deadlocked relationship

This article provides tips on how to build and improve relationships. I believe that it is better to try several times to fix potentially a good relationship than interrupt them. My wife did not leave me five years ago, despite my inability then to think of anyone other than myself. Since then, I have changed drastically, realized my mistakes and corrected them, which also helped me to write this article. But it took me a while to change, and I understand that well. Therefore, I urge everyone to give their halves a chance, because who knows what might happen in the future from what we have now?

But here you need to strike a balance. In general, this entire article is about balance. After all, relationships are the embodiment of compromise, and the art of having relationships, just like the art of life, lies in the ability to balance between several extremes. So all the advice here is ambiguous, they don't tell you to "do this, don't do that", they rather give us direction, relying on your wisdom to find a middle ground. Try to correct the partner, but at the same time do not push with all your weight. Give freedom, but at the same time do not allow the relationship to be neglected. Give in, but in some situations, say a clear “no”. Trying to understand other people's interests, but accepting that understanding is not always possible ...

And I realize that although in some situations it is better to fix the relationship, in other situations it is better to end it altogether. If your partner consistently behaves in a way that you don't like despite your efforts to positively influence them. If he offends you, does not manage his anger well, dissolves his hands and does not want to be corrected. If you have done everything to improve the relationship, but your efforts have not led to anything. If you constantly suffer because of other people's grievances and unfair suspicions. Then it is better to think about how to end such a relationship. Especially if you are still young and have no children. Don't worry, you'll find a much better partner. You don't deserve to be a martyr or babysit for someone all your life.

Conclusion - Relationships and Self Development

The ability to maintain relationships is determined by the personal skills of both partners: caring, altruism, understanding the other, the ability to give in and compromise. Relationships are not a market economy in which everyone can only thrive by looking out for themselves.

I returned to this question again, as this is the most important. And most of the problems in relationships occur precisely because of selfishness and unwillingness to put yourself in the place of another!

Relationships do not serve to satisfy your pride, voluptuousness, selfishness, but for the harmonious coexistence and development of two people! As I wrote above, relationships will help you develop altruism and understanding, as well as many other skills. In my opinion, a long-term relationship between a man and a woman is a school of self-development and personality education! And the positive experience that you get from life with your wife or husband, you can apply in absolutely any relationship, with subordinates or bosses, with friends or opponents, with children or pensioners. It will also serve as a reliable support in many life situations. After all, diplomacy, patience, the ability to listen - these are the qualities that are simply necessary to achieve success in life and personal happiness.

I often meet people who have relationship problems or no relationship at all. For some of them, relationships are a series of suffering and quarrels.

Others are simply on a constant search and can't seem to find permanent partner: all their attempts to maintain a long-term relationship turn into a failure. Still others simply do not look for anyone, or they doubt themselves very much, or they just like to be alone.

But in many cases, all these people have one thing in common: not only changeable fortune or poor choice of partners prevents them from finding family happiness. Often these people simply do not have personal qualities without which it will be difficult to maintain these relations. These people are infantile, devoid of a sense of responsibility, overly demanding and harsh, or vice versa, extremely soft-bodied, cannot cope with their changing emotions, do not know how to listen and understand the needs of other people, selfish, self-contained and shy, prone to fears and anxieties. This list can be continued for a long time, but one thing is important: if a person wants to long term relationship, then it must have some quality.

(I'm not at all going to say that all single people are like that. Not at all. Some of them really like loneliness and independence. They feel self-sufficient and are able to lead a harmonious life without any constant relationship. I have nothing against it, this is a personal choice of each I also want to clarify that if you understand what you have strong problems in a relationship, this does not necessarily mean that the problem is rooted in your personality. It happens that the reason for this is related to your partner or external factors.

But, nevertheless, what I wrote about above happens and, moreover, often.)

This does not mean that he should have these qualities from the very beginning. Each person can change for the better and love and family connection can help him in this.

I see human relationships as fertile ground for the personal development of two people who share the same bond. By strengthening this relationship, you will not only make the connection with your husband or wife stronger, but you will also become better and happier yourself.

A soft toy in the form of a mournful baby elephant or a hippopotamus. At the same time, do not forget to add that you are just as strong, but also just as defenseless in front of her. Perhaps you will also be pitied and subsequently forgiven.

Remember that your reasoning and arguments are logical, and women's are more emotional. Therefore, in a conversation with her, do not focus on logic, talk more about feelings, relationships, more often remember some pleasant moments that connect you.

Compliment her. As you know, a woman loves with her ears. Just do not overdo it, too complex epithets can be mistaken for a banal mockery, or she simply won’t believe you.

Give her flowers. With or without. A bouquet does not have to be expensive and chic, even the smallest, accompanied by a bouquet, can work a miracle. A bouquet that you have collected personally is perfect.

Fulfill any of her dreams or desires. Better if it was something she mentioned in passing. She will understand that you are listening to her, which means that she is really important to you. For example, she once mentioned that she would like just such a handbag, a book, a bracelet. So strain your memory and try to make her wish come true.

Discuss with her even the smallest moments concerning your relationship. Show interest, carry on conversations on any topic that somehow bothers her. Let's speak to her first, and then start talking yourself. If she asks for advice, let it be advice, not moralizing. If she wants to talk about something that does not suit her, listen carefully and try not to yawn, even if you are very tired.

Play with her hair and hug her as often as possible. Embracing her, press her to you as the most precious thing you have. More touching, stroking and kissing.

If you know that a girl appreciates her mother's opinion and you are on good terms with her, ask her to help you. Explain how important her daughter is to you. Try to get your mother on your side. And she, in turn, will already find Right words to explain to her daughter what it is good guy and how stupid it would be to lose him.

How to improve relations with your girlfriend?

If there was a quarrel, and the young man wants to restore relations, then he should remember a few rules that will help to do this.

The first and very important rule: to blame - apologize: you should not build yourself a proud hedgehog and pout, when you yourself know very well that the fault in the quarrel is entirely yours. Apologizing in such a situation is not a manifestation of weakness, but rather the opposite. It takes courage to admit your mistakes.

Rule two: don't leave misunderstandings ania: if you really want to improve relations with a girl after a quarrel, then you need to find out why exactly this quarrel happened. Perhaps you have different views to some questions, and you need to look for a compromise? Be sure to discuss this, come to some common denominator, and in this way you will insure yourself against quarrels for the future, at least on this specific issue.

Rule three: let the girl cool down: it’s not worth five minutes after she left, slamming the door, start calling her, bombarding her with messages, or, even worse, running after her and grabbing her hands. A person needs time to cool down and think. And only then decide what to do.

Rule Four: do not hysteria and behave like a man. Be calm and reasonable, do not make scandals and tantrums, otherwise you will only cause disgust.

How to mend a relationship with a girl after a breakup

It happens that the quarrel is so strong that. Or it's just a crisis in the relationship, and people are tired of each other. Do you still want to return to the past? Try it.

Do not be intrusive, do not sort things out, especially often and especially in public.

God forbid you to say something bad about your girlfriend to someone - he will never forgive.

Try to just be there at the right time - to help, support, solve some of her important problems. There is a chance that she will understand that you are needed and important to her.

Yes, of course, when the question arises of how to improve relations with a girl after breaking up, everyone immediately remembers about. Indeed, it will not be superfluous, but, again, do not be intrusive.

Unfortunately, it also happens that all tricks and efforts are in vain, because love just left. If you see that your attempts to improve relations leave the girl cold and indifferent, reconcile. Perhaps ahead of you is waiting for that very, real, strong love.

Each couple goes through a period of quarrels, grinding, dissatisfaction with each other. Ideal relationships are only in the movies and cheap romance novels. When a relationship breaks down, guys often don't know how to fix a relationship with a girl after a fight. Remember our tips!

Try to analyze the situation to understand what exactly happened. To improve relationships, guys, be self-critical and even if you are sure that you are not to blame for anything, take some of the responsibility for what happened. In any conflict of any couple, there is always the fault of both.

Whatever your measure of responsibility, as a man, after a quarrel, you must apologize. But one word "sorry" will not be enough.

Be sincere in your repentance, and don't just work off your wrongdoing. Girls are very sensitive, they easily recognize falsehood in words.

If your relationship has gone wrong to such an extent that a simple conversation will not help, then you have committed a serious offense. Before asking for forgiveness, open the way to your girlfriend's heart. To improve relations with a girl after a quarrel, it would be nice for a guy to do this with a pleasant surprise or a gift. It doesn't have to be something significant. Sometimes a bouquet of flowers or an invitation to dinner will help. Perhaps after that, she will listen to you favorably.

Do not think that asking for forgiveness is the height of humiliation or something shameful for you. If you are thinking about how to improve relations with a girl, then you are not indifferent to the fact that you are in a quarrel. You miss her and rather want to return your former relationship. Admitting your guilt and asking for forgiveness is an act worthy of a real man.

She accepts you, but still continues to “sulk” after a quarrel? Organize an event that will allow her to relax and have fun.

Give more compliments than usual. Strike up a conversation about how you value your relationship and why reclaiming the world is so important to you.

Try to talk about plans, at least for the near future. Girls love to plan relationships. This gives them a guarantee of stability and allows them to relax a little.

If your relationship is starting to get back to normal, take a romantic weekend getaway. Somewhere and just the two of you. This will help you get closer.

And if everything has calmed down and no one else remembers the quarrel, get busy thinking about how you should treat each other so that such conflicts no longer occur. Learn to negotiate, hear each other, respect other people's opinions.

How to improve relationships as a couple

· Fulfill each other's wishes

All of us have our small and very feasible desires. Remember your partner's desires and fulfill them with occasional regularity. You will earn huge recognition for an unplanned trip to a concert or a movie that the other half has been dreaming of for so long.

· Give small gifts

Let them be inexpensive, but pleasant and cute. The ability and desire to give gifts is one of the main manifestations of love between people. The most important thing is that you want to make these gifts so that they are given from the heart and with all your heart. And in order not to think about what to give your other half, write down the desires of your girlfriend, accidentally dropped in ordinary conversations.

· Write letters to each other

Little notes with beautiful and gentle words can add warmth to a relationship. After a quarrel, such a touching note can melt the heart of even an offended girl.

Modern technologies will help you make a variety of collages and slide shows for various events in your life. touching selections can bring romance and pleasant nostalgia to your relationship.

Such moments, filled with tenderness and care, are remembered most of all, make your loved one pleasant, and be sure, he will reward you in double size!

After a quarrel with a girl and not only: how to improve relationships

Prove to her that she is the best. For example, when you see a new dress on her, tell her how it suits her! Express admiration for her appearance, figure, hair, hairstyle, style, character.

She likes to talk to you. Do not get tired of talking about how sweet she is, and do not forget to listen carefully.

Women love to sleep, it's not for nothing that sleep is considered the best medicine from wrinkles, in addition, dreams seen are sometimes mysterious or prophetic, we are surprised, and girls enjoy it, “sweet dream of a loved one” - what could be sweeter? Don't let her sleep!

You can improve relations with a girl after a quarrel by inviting her to where she likes to be. For example, to the park, for a walk, on a swing, carousel, ride with her on attractions, etc. Try to give her as much time and attention as possible if you feel that she is offended by you precisely because of your lack of attention.

The girl will receive unconditional pleasure from your SMS or messages in the mail and social services of the Internet. Write that after a quarrel you were very worried.

Fulfilling your whims is a constant female pleasure! For example, "I want ice cream. No, order strawberry, not popsicle! And certainly balls, maybe you stopped loving me?"

Do you think giving soft toys is stupid? Not at all! There is a little girl in every woman, and she will get great pleasure receiving soft toys. Perhaps this passion can be explained by the love of devotion, the softness of touch in our brain is associated with calmness.

Love for dreams and memories is expressed in love for photographs. Getting pleasure from looking at photographs of any period of life is associated with the female tendency to idealize the bad. Be patient.

Of course, you can endlessly list ways to improve the relationship of a girl to a guy after a quarrel. This is your frankness, and trinkets on trips, sweets and flowers ... the main pleasure for a girl is her beloved near, do not forget about it, and give her pleasure!

How to improve relationship with a girl?

Sometimes many men torture themselves by asking themselves the same simple question, to which they, for some reason, how to answer: "What is the right way to communicate with a girl?" I would like to note that communication between the sexes should not carry tension in itself, it should proceed very naturally, without conscious control and quite simply. But, unfortunately, this does not always happen. Many men begin their conversation with a girl in such a way that he sees something like this for the first time, why is amazing creation exists, and also have no idea how to communicate with them and, most importantly, about what. In this, any man can learn about how he can improve his communication with the fair sex.

A girl is not just valuable fur

If we take into account the fact of how exactly you should communicate with a girl, then first of all you should find out what kind of creature this girl is. After all, the weaker sex differs from the strong one in many aspects of life. Men who cannot understand this make a fairly large number of stupid mistakes while communicating with the opposite sex. But let's talk about everything in order.

It can be assumed that you all know that the main difference is sexual characteristics, which are divided into primary and secondary. Their presence determines the very difference between the bodies, as well as a completely distinctive hormonal level. And these same hormones quite regularly present us with surprises of any kind: Sometimes they can be pleasant, especially when the beloved woman simply rushes to the beloved man, and sometimes unpleasant, when she sits in the kitchen and cries for the simple reason that she broke her beloved cup or juice. Do not think that PMS is a mere myth, which was invented by women specifically so that every month she had a chance to just yell at a man for no reason, but in fact this is a pure lie, because a woman really experiences a real storm of emotions on such days.

Unlike men, a woman is much more emotional, so men don’t understand how you can make stupid mistakes, but follow your emotions, and a woman, in turn, tries, on the contrary, not to follow them, but to act within reasonable limits.

Dear men, please keep this in mind and do not demand from the girl you like cool and rational behavior. You are able to take control of yourself for a certain amount of time, which is very often limited only to work, and after the end of the working day you simply have no strength left.

Another difference is education. While the little boy jumps in the puddles and climbs the trees, and the young lady only hears from her parents that she cannot do this, because she is a girl. Therefore, a man develops more abilities such as research interest, spatial thinking, dexterity, and women - modesty, accuracy, femininity. Thus, it is not recommended to demand from a lady the ability to navigate the streets of the city in which she was born and raised quite fluently, because this was not invested in her. The best option would be a simple explanation of the route in a language she understands.

It is especially important to know how to properly communicate with a girl is to understand all the features and subtleties of her thinking. There is such a feature in women as extrapolation, i.e., if a man forgot to kiss his beloved at least a couple of times before leaving for work, the fact immediately arises that you never kiss her. Quite often it happens that a woman simply forgets what happened a long time ago, and what happened just recently is simply shifted to the near future.

Strong and weak sex are very different due to different life aspirations. Men strive more to dominate, conquer, succeed, explore new things, while women, on the contrary, strive for calmness and stability, and they are also not as enterprising and assertive as the stronger sex. Such a scheme was reflected in the very mechanism of fertilization, when the sperm is simply obliged to defeat its competitors and penetrate the egg, which calmly awaits its arrival.

Such different bases formations form perfectly different type character, namely the feminine and masculine. Sensitivity, gentleness, a tendency to sympathy, compliance, tenderness and shyness are attributed to female character and the character of a man is very different from that of a woman.

Because of such different attitudes and characters, there are big differences in the circle of communication and interests. Men are more interested in sports, technology, law, risky entertainment, and women, in turn, are most interested in family, culture, appearance, and communication. But then the question arises from here - how then is communication possible if there are no common themes, and you are very different from each other? To begin with, a man and a woman are interested in each other to some extent, and you can always ask the interlocutor something about the area in which you did not understand at all. Taste all the interests of each other, and then they will definitely become common.

Often, men do not like the girlfriends of their girls at all, and even vice versa. Only one thing should be understood here, if all the friends of your precious one completely annoy you and you cannot be near them, then you should think carefully about whether you really have so much in common, and whether everything is fine in your ideal relationship? But if only some of them annoy you, and not so much to the point of nausea, then you just need to come to terms with this and in the future try not to intersect so often with people who cause you slight irritation. Ultimately, each of you has the right to spend time with your friends, and with the closest people you can spend time together almost all the time.

Safety precautions when communicating with a girl

But it’s better to return to the specifics, because just specific girls walk on Earth, and in order to start a conversation with them, a man must have certain recommendations. You will learn about them below. When you try to put into practice at least part of what you learn, then the very question of how to properly communicate with a girl will disappear by itself. Let's get started.

Take an interest in her life. Every woman needs attention, and if she gets it, she blossoms greatly. Ask her about how she is doing, how her day went, what worries her at the moment. This way, you will only show that she cares.

Both weakness and strength must be shown. Remember, male power can manifest itself in completely different ways: calmness in a critical situation, protection from hooligans, help in dealing with bureaucrats. But girls can sometimes freeze with delight when a strong man can be gentle and weak, he will play with a kitten and will not worry about world injustice.

With short breaks, try to arrange romantic surprise for the lady of the heart. So you can bring on a real tide positive emotions. After all, a woman without romance is like a flower without water - she will either turn into a cactus or die. You don't need a prickly and vicious cactus, do you?

Be sure to compliment her, because a woman always prefers to feed on admiration. And when a young man stops talking to her nice words about how delightfully charming today, then she begins to seek recognition from others. And this is not so difficult - compliment her every day that she has a beautiful dress, driving style, hairstyle, complexion, and then everything will be very good in your relationship.

You need to show independence. Love, of course, is good, but not a single girl will like or want to have anything to do with a weak-willed weak creature that haunts her in the form of a shadow. Conquest and courtship should in no way resemble the whining of a five-year-old boy who cries because he was not given what he asked for. Thus, you can afford to play a little, for example, go with your friends and have fun without your lady or not answer the phone.

Care needs to be taken. Every woman, deep down, is a little girl who wants to be taken care of a little. You can take a hot bath for your beloved, pat her on the head, prepare her favorite treat or tea for her. All this works flawlessly, because from this every girl will simply begin to melt in the hands of a man.

Try to show sympathy for your woman’s relatives and friends, even if you experience those feelings that are quite far from sympathy, but in no case show aggression and irritation towards loved ones, even when your girlfriend herself begins to scold them. All the same, they will remain close, and when someone offends loved ones, the woman will definitely come to the defense. Try to maintain at least an outward non-participation and do not create any situation in which you can directly confront her family.

If a girl came to you to speak out, just take pity on her. A woman does not like it when a young man tries to come up with all sorts of methods to resolve the situation as soon as possible or gives her advice that may not work. But women simply want simple support and sympathy, and when ladies receive constructive advice instead of the emotions that they most expected, they are simply very upset and offended.

Internet - enemy or friend?

Online communication with the opposite sex has its own subtleties. So how is it worth communicating with an unfamiliar girl on the Internet, and even with one that you have never seen? The main thing to remember is not to look too intrusive and vulgar. In general, as in real life in real communication. Since you can always come across such a variant of men on the Internet, a woman tries to protect herself from communicating with such an instance.

On the Internet, appearance does not play a special role in any way. Purely visually, you can attract the attention of a girl with the help of interesting photo, on which you look just great, or an avatar. Thus, with the help of an unconscious associative connection, your image will certainly make her feel sympathy for you.

But the most important factor in your communication is what exactly you say to her. And that's just a must. In this situation, you must carefully think through everything that you want to say and what words you want to express this or that thought. Make sure that through your words she can see the real personality, and show her your deepest knowledge in this or that area. The interest of a girl can be aroused by unexpected and not quite standard statements and actions - this will greatly increase your chance that she will pay attention to you and single you out. It will be just great if you turn out to be a real specialist in any activity for her.

Remember that a woman comes first. not some naughty monster who just wants to bite you. Do not freeze and be afraid while communicating with girls. Since ancient times, it has been customary that a woman expects some kind of activity from a man, and whoever does not take any action, she simply does not notice such a man.

Thus, take your feet in your hands, become much bolder - and forward. Of course, such a situation may arise that in most cases the girl is able to politely and calmly curtail any contact with you. You should not be so afraid of this, because only those who do nothing at all do not make mistakes. And the experience gained can always be applied during communication with other representatives of the opposite sex. The most important thing is to try again and again, but in no way become a dull and defeated loser.

How to improve your relationship with a girl

A guy meets a girl, they get to know each other, then they go on dates, meet from time to time, talk on the phone or at a meeting, get to know each other better. And if a guy likes a girl, then he begins to think - what will all this lead to. If a guy falls in love with a girl, then most of all, he is afraid of losing her. If a man is already experienced in matters of relationships with girls, serious relationship, then he already knows what and how to do so that the relationship with the girl develops exactly the way he needs it.

Although it happens that even though a guy had a lot of girls with whom he seemed to be in a relationship, more or less serious, but correct conclusions and the lessons from these relationships, he did not take. Simply put, his life has not taught him anything, in matters of serious relationships with girls, and how exactly you need to develop relationships with a girl if you don’t want to lose her. It is in this case that the tips that can be found in this article will come in handy.

Why is it important to develop a relationship with a girl?

So, why do you need to know how to develop a relationship with a girl? Because, if you rely on chance (like, as it will be, it will be), then the relationship can go the wrong way, and in the end - end (often, someone's heart is broken). To prevent this, you need to know how to develop a relationship with a girl. If you like your girlfriend, and you don’t want your relationship to come to a standstill, or even end, then you need to constantly develop the relationship between you.

This does not only apply to newcomers who are in a serious relationship with a girl for the first time. Those guys who are not the first time with a girl in a serious relationship, or have been in a relationship with one woman for a long time, can also make mistakes, and lose everything at the moment. That is why, the advice will be useful to all guys and men. The article will be divided into sections. How to develop a relationship with a girl - step by step. Acquaintance with a girl, the initial stage of a relationship, a serious relationship, that sort of thing.

Stage 1. Acquaintance with a girl.

When you get to know pretty girl, most importantly, always remember and take into account the fact that even if now, this girl is of little interest to you, or is only interested in how beautiful woman with whom you only want ... That's all right, you should behave as if every such girl, in the future, may turn out to be the one with whom you want more, namely relationships. Therefore, you should not behave in such a way, say something to her that later, may prevent you from achieving her.

For example, if a guy is only interested in a girl as a pretty wrapper, then he might act like he's only interested in a one-night stand. The guy seduces her, shows himself to be such a frivolous young man with whom you can have fun, who is not at all interested in a serious relationship, and all that.

And then, after talking with her, spending some time together, the guy can understand that this girl is still interesting in other places, so to speak. And the guy will want more than just a good one night stand. But, the girl's first impression of this man will be - a frivolous man, whom women are only interested in as meat. And of course, such a first impression will push her away from him. She is unlikely to want a relationship with such a person. It will be very difficult to convince her that this guy is actually interested in a serious relationship, despite the first impression.

That is why, from the very beginning, from meeting a girl, you need to remember - this girl may turn out to be the one. So, why spoil your opinion of yourself by behaving like a great seducer, or someone else like that. After all, then, if you want a relationship with her, you will have to change her opinion about yourself. Therefore, it is better to behave naturally from the very beginning, without showing off and all that.

At this stage, everything is the same, if a guy is in a hurry to drag a woman into bed, then she will understand that you can not count on a serious relationship with such a guy. Of course, anything can happen, if it is clear that she is not interested in a serious relationship, then absolutely nothing sensible will come of it, which means you can not strain. If it is clear that the girl is serious, not a windy dummy, the girl who is interested in a serious relationship with a guy, and not just like that. Then show yourself only from the best side, if you want a relationship with her.

Show her that you are a serious guy, that you are also interested in serious relationships with girls, and not just to have fun and move on in life. Don't rush into physical intimacy. But it’s also not worth delaying too much, so that you are not written down as eternal friends. If a girl interests you, if you want more with her, then prove it to her. Let her know that you like her for more than just beautiful girl, but also as a person with whom you would not mind building a relationship in the future.

Stage 3. The beginning of a relationship.

If a girl is already in a relationship with you, then it means that she definitely likes you, and so far you have done everything right. At the initial stage of a relationship with a girl, she looks at you, wants to get to know you better, and understand, decide for herself, whether you can get to something more serious or not. Therefore, for you, if you want to reach a serious relationship with this girl, the most the main task- do not spoil the impression of yourself. And don't ruin what you've already achieved.

Your main task, at the initial stage of the relationship, is to prove to the girl that you can go to the next stage with you - a serious relationship. What is required for this. Continually maintain and develop relationships. The worst thing is the loss of a spark between you. When everything calmed down, every day resembles the previous one, in general, routine, monotony and boredom in relationships. Almost 90% of couples break up and do not reach a serious relationship, precisely because it has become boring together, not like before.

Therefore, it is very important, if you do not want to lose your girlfriend, to prevent monotony and boredom in your relationship. What is needed for this. Constant variety of spending time together. Today cinema, tomorrow theater, bowling, skating rink, walks in beautiful parks and embankments. Sometimes you can relax at home, order pizza, watch a movie together. Or invite friends, or other couples, to spend time together. It is this diversity that saves any relationship from the extinction of the fire between a guy and a girl.

If you prove to a girl that it will be interesting to communicate with you, walk, live, spend time together and further, that the spark between you has not gone out, then she will definitely want to move on to the next stage of relations with you.

In a serious relationship, the stakes are highest. Either the wedding is in the future, and they lived happily ever after, or, a painful breakup, a broken heart, and other consequences. Therefore, at this stage, it is worth climbing out of your skin so that everything works out, and finally achieve the girl of your dreams, your soulmate. Speaking of half. This is the main task of a serious relationship. Prove to each other - that you are the second half.

All the tips from the previous stage are relevant here. In a serious relationship, as well as in a non-serious one, it is important not to cool off towards each other in order to move to the next step. Relationships should not become routine. You shouldn't be bored together. You still have to have fun and enjoy life together. Therefore, do not calm down, do not stop surprising your girlfriend. Make surprises, still go on dates, go out to people as often as possible, there should always be variety.

And not like the majority - according to the first, everything is fine, the guy tries, surprises, there is a constant variety in spending time together. And then, he sits on the couch, crunches on chips with beer, and watches football. And she walks around the apartment, not knowing what to do with herself. If you stop paying attention to a woman, she will seek and receive it elsewhere. It is for this reason that almost all couples break up. When relationships hit a dead end. When a guy believes that he has already achieved a girl, that you can relax. This is where relationship problems begin.

The girl ceases to feel desirable, thinks that she is no longer interested in her boyfriend. At first, of course, she will grieve, demand more attention to herself, and if she does not receive it, then after suffering, she will give up on such a relationship, and on such a guy. Because there will be someone who will carry her in her arms, and her ex-boyfriend, then he will bite his elbows, thinking, damn it, I achieved it, but I tried at the beginning, and I thought that this would be enough for a lifetime.

But no. This is not enough, trying for a relationship only at the beginning does not guarantee anything in the future. It is necessary to develop relationships constantly, and not just at the initial stage. If the guy is relaxed, then let him be ready for the fact that everything will end badly for him.

Of course, not only a man should work on relationships, and not only he should constantly dance around the girl so as not to lose her. But, often, it is men who are the first to relax. Considering that you have already achieved a woman, and now you can do nothing.

How exactly should you develop a relationship with a girl?

Tips to help keep a girl in a relationship. The most important advice - do not relax. Of course, no one says that it is necessary to go out of your way, and every day, surprise the girl, prepare surprises and gifts for her. Every absolutely day should be bright and unforgettable. Nobody means it. After all, whatever one may say, but it will not work out that way. I mean that you should not leave the house for weeks, sit on the couch scratching ... At a time when the girl will be constantly bored and feel lonely.

All the girls complain - here, my boyfriend, when he was just courting me, when the relationship was just in its infancy, he was so attentive, made surprises and gifts. We went out to people, went for a walk, almost every day, there was a variety in relationships. And now he has relaxed, sits at the computer for days, and nothing interests him anymore. There is no attention to me, physical intimacy has decreased, from 2-3 times a day to 2-3 times a week, or even less often.

If the relationship becomes like this, then this is the beginning of the end of the relationship. Therefore, it is very important not to turn into a vegetable. And then there is someone else on the side who can give the girl what she lacks from you.

The ideal development of the relationship between a guy and a girl.

Briefly. A guy meets a girl, they go on dates, meet from time to time, talk on the phone. Then, they meet more and more often, communicate more and more often, they understand that they have become very close to each other, that they can no longer live without each other. As soon as this understanding comes to both, the guy and the girl begin to live together. During cohabitation get to know each other even closer, get closer as much as possible. And further, one of several options for the development of relations.

1. A man and a woman understand that they can’t imagine life without each other, and they get married. Then the children, and they lived happily ever after. All around reigns love and understanding.

2. People understand that passion and spark are gone. Don't touch each other anymore. Everything is too calm and uninteresting. They begin to cheat on each other, quarrel constantly, and eventually part.

3. The guy and the girl are so used to each other that even though the relationship has long been devoid of emotions and impressions, they simply do not want to disturb the harmony of life, they are afraid to change something. And even if they no longer love each other, then they will not part exactly. Just be patient, that's all.

4. A couple who are not going smoothly in a relationship will strive to solve their problems. Refresh relationships, constantly work on them together. And maybe they will succeed, and they will fall in love with each other again, or maybe not, and part. But they will at least try to save the relationship before putting an end to it.

Everything in life and the world is arranged in such a way that if you constantly work on something, give it attention and time, constantly develop this something, then it will all work out. But if you take up something, and then throw it and spit on it, then sooner or later everything will collapse. It's like a flower that while you water - it grows, or, a pet - as long as we feed it, it lives and enjoys life. It is necessary to work on relationships, develop them constantly, otherwise, like a flower and a pet, they will die. And if you value your relationship, love your girlfriend, then do not relax in your relationship with her.

How to improve your relationship with a guy

IN young age life seems bright and rosy. I would like to believe in good and beautiful, but not always everything goes according to plan. Feeling more pain from unexpected breakups with a person who, until recently, would like to give all his tender feelings.

Many girls are familiar with this situation. She sits and waits for the call of her beloved boyfriend, he does not call for a day or two. At rare encounters tries not to talk much, looking away. At such a moment, I want to have a serious talk and find out why there was such an unexpectedly large gap between the two loving hearts. But such a conversation only causes irritation. The guy abruptly gets up and leaves, leaves, perhaps forever. What's happened? Where was the mistake made? Why did relations deteriorate so sharply? Could the break have been prevented? These questions swirl in the young head of a charming beauty. If she knew the answers to them, things would be very different. Therefore, the need has ripened to write a detailed article on how to improve relations with a guy, how to build your love in the right way and prevent parting?

Possible reasons for the deterioration of relations

Doctors, before treating the disease, look for the cause of the disease. In this situation, you need to do the same. What can cause a break in a relationship? Mutual misunderstanding. The girl looks at the world from a different, completely different angle. Her priority is romance, feelings. She wants to get warmth and tenderness from relationships. But she does nothing on her own. You can’t take all the time and demand constant attention to yourself. In a relationship, you need to give more, throw firewood into the fire, then it will burn longer. But this must be done wisely and unobtrusively. Otherwise, the relationship will fade away by itself.

Psychologists are sure that many girls subconsciously want to completely subdue the will of their beloved. Therefore, they begin to control him, deprive him of personal freedom, demand from the guy that he belong entirely to her alone and to no one else: neither friends, nor girlfriends, nor parents.

And such behavior never leads to good. And all because such zeal gives rise to a protest reaction and becomes the cause of the first serious quarrels. The girl must come to terms with the fact that her boyfriend may have another life in which there is no place for her yet. And only complete trust, as well as mutual understanding, can save the relationship.

A girl must understand once and for all that a young man needs someone who will simply be there at the right moment, someone who will always support and take his side. Therefore, in order to keep your love, you need to completely rebuild yourself and try to heed the following very practical advice.

A few steps that can help save a relationship

If there is a feeling that the relationship has begun to crack, there is no need to despair and cry into the pillow. Despondency and self-flagellation in this matter is no help. Relationships must be constantly maintained, to ensure that not a single spark from the fire of love is lost. Next to you is a living person, with his own emotions and outlook on life. He still belongs only to himself, and can use his freedom at any moment. Therefore, it is necessary, first of all, to constantly work on yourself. And here's what to do.

Make life easier!

The one who tries to form warm and trusting relationship. There is no need to complicate anything in this life and take everything to heart. Guys love girls who have a positive outlook on life and treat everything with great irony. Humor helps strengthen relationships, relieve tension and make the world around you more pleasant and interesting.

The wise and clever try to get around contentious issues side. It's easy to see where the differences are. On many issues, views on life can vary greatly. If you constantly add oil to the fire, it will quickly burn out, leaving behind only an unpleasant smell. If there is a desire to maintain a relationship, there is no need to provoke quarrels, make constant comments, pointing out existing shortcomings. Of course, putting up with them is also wrong, but, believe me, there are many ways to achieve your goals with kindness and affection.

The most common mistake of young girls is the desire to constantly control every step of their lover, to demand care and attention from him. It is not right. Each of the partners should maintain their own personal space in which you can be yourself. It cannot be narrowed down to the size of a coin. He wants to go to football today, devote his free time to friends, let him go! Take care of yourself, put yourself in order, devote time to study. Remember! A young man needs a person next to him, not a “rag”. For him, freedom is above all. She is what makes him happy. And the girl just needs to be around!

We must remember that we are all capable of making rash acts and making serious mistakes. Everyone can stumble, so the one who not only knows how to forgive any shortcomings and gives a chance for correction, but also helps his partner to correct himself, does the right thing.

A guy by nature is a hunter, he needs to pursue, chase on the trail, strain his brain, trying to predict the actions of his partner. Often this fuse kills precisely the predictability of the girl. With this, it becomes very quickly boring, so the relationship gradually fades away. Surprise young man not difficult. To do this, you need to study his habits, try to delve into his hobbies (love football, for example, and follow the results of his favorite team). Do not sit still, make an effort, work on your relationship, constantly pushing them forward towards a certain goal.

Any relationship should have hooks to help hold it together. Such hooks can be unifying traditions that a couple can form for themselves. For example, many young people choose "secret places" that no one knows about. Hiding there from the whole world is very romantic. Nothing unites like shared secrets, the celebration of the anniversary of the meeting, the first kiss, the first intimacy. Everything that can support good memories of the union of two lovers must be cultivated.

A sure sign of a close separation is the termination of confidential communication. A girl for her boyfriend should become an interesting conversationalist and good friend. The person with whom you can talk about everything: music, movies, cars. Freedom in communication is the main thing that unites and makes you show interest in your future destiny.

If you think about the bad all the time, it will overshadow everything and crowd out the joyful and positive. So cultivate positivity!

10 steps to improve your relationship with your loved one.

be unhappy in personal relationships means to be truly unhappy in life. If the relationship is not going well at all, if there are continuous quarrels with the guy, it's time to think about what needs to be done to improve relations.

Get ready that this is not easy, because in order to improve relationships, you need to rebuild yourself. And this is a huge job. But these efforts will certainly bear fruit: relationships will become better, and you will be happier.

10 steps to improve your relationship with your loved one

1. Forget about all the insults. Yes, yes, forget it. Get up in the morning and start a relationship with clean slate. Forget about all his lateness, about his lies, about the pain that he once caused you.

This is not easy, but without this step, it is unlikely that you will be able to improve relations with your loved one. Indeed, often the wall of misunderstanding between a man and a woman consists of past grievances.

2. Give the guy freedom. And stop imposing on him what he does not want to accept and is not ready. He doesn’t want to go to visit your mother - and don’t, good relationships are more expensive. Wants to go to the movies with friends - let him go.

It is freedom that makes a person happy. And only a happy person is able to build harmonious relationships.

3. Understand beloved. In every situation, try to put yourself in the place of a man and understand his feelings, motives, and point of view. After all, apart from extreme cases, there is a reason for everything. Do not rush to condemn, draw negative conclusions, it is better to support your loved one.

4. Don't try to change your loved one. And you don't have to redo it! Imagine that someone is trying to remake you: for example, forcing you to forget about manicures and heels and impose the role of a housewife.

Accept him the way he is. It is clear that this is difficult, because people have many shortcomings. But there are also advantages! Identify the positive character traits of your loved one and think about them more often.

5. Don't hurt your loved one. Are you constantly in conflict? Quarrel and scandal over trifles? Understand conflicts: study all the phrases and reactions that annoy you.

Stop insulting and insulting each other with words. Replace harsh expressions with softer ones, do not call names. To avoid scandal, ask about the feelings of your loved one, analyze your emotions and answer your partner's questions.

6. Connect more with your loved one, and not only on topics life together. Talk about pleasant things - music, cars, books. Spend more time together, and not only for household chores, but also on vacation.

7. Ask for forgiveness and forgive your loved one. Always ask for forgiveness first. Even if you are right and he is wrong. Remember that good relationships are more important than being right. After all, it is not necessary to improve those relations in which peace and tranquility reign. Do not keep evil and resentment in your heart, because this is how the heart becomes dull, and relationships become terrible.

8. Respect your loved one. Try not to yell at a man, it humiliates both yours and his dignity. It happens that a man acts in such a way that you just want to kill him. But even after the biggest quarrel, when passions have heated up to the limit, respect for your partner should remain in your soul.

9. trust the guy. Forget about jealousy and suspicion. After all, relationships built on distrust are almost impossible to improve. It is better not to suspect anything and live in peace than to constantly think about the betrayal of a loved one. It poisons relationships like nothing else.

10. Touch, kiss and sex. Hug and kiss your loved one at least 8 times a day. This is how much warmth is vital for every person. Tactile and intimacy able to improve your relationship in the shortest possible time.

Yes, these 10 steps to improve relationships are not easy. But it’s worth trying, because a precious prize is at stake - happiness!

Blog #1 on How to seduce a girl?

"Oh, these girls ..." or How to improve relations with a girl?

Building a quality relationship with a girl today is not easy. The reasons for this are many. One of the most pressing is the lack of knowledge. Why aren't there? The upbringing of parents does not give the skills to build relationships with girls.

You have to try everything for the first time, get problems, solve them. At first you build relationships, and then nothing happens. And the question arises: how to improve relations with a girl? And how to avoid more such problems?

And here everything is not as simple as it seems. If you are already in a relationship and have gone through some problems, you are in luck! If you are just going to build a relationship with a girl, I advise you to study my other articles on the topic of relationships with girls. In this article, I will focus on situations where there are already relationships, but they have problems. How it happens.

When does the desire to establish a relationship with a girl arise?

Let's look at the most popular scenarios in which you just need to build relationships with your soul mate.

Scenario #1: Your first relationship experience

Usually, when you have your first relationship, you find yourself in a new unknown world. Yes, you have no experience at all, you are taking the first steps, and it is a rare case when such a relationship becomes long and successful. No, you're not at fault here. It's just that no one taught you. I already wrote about this at the beginning of the article. I'll tell you more here...

Neither schools nor universities teach us how to communicate with girls, how to seduce them and build relationships with them. Some people just don't need it. In today's world, there is such a thing as "Get the girl to get her."

And if we read magazines, newspapers, watch TV and other media, we will see what recipes are offered to us. Buy a girl this, buy a girl that. And, perhaps. MAYBE! She will reciprocate. But it's all stupid and inefficient. The benefit of this is only for businessmen.

Learn yourself. Learn from professionals. Thanks for reading my blog. I'm ready to help you. First relationships are usually not forever, even if you believe in it in your heart. It is not always possible to choose your ideal the first time. There are many girls.

And the more you try them, the more likely you are to meet exactly the one destined for you by fate. But it happens the first time too.

Read even more literature on the topic "How to build a relationship with a girl"
Study video courses and take trainings on this topic
Chat with people who are already married, who have families or who have just been in a relationship for many years
Analyze own experience What worked and what didn't
Most importantly: draw conclusions

Having done these points, you will already have a clear picture of how to proceed. You will learn the mistakes that other guys make and you will be able to avoid them. You will change your behavior to be more effective. As I wanted to talk about this in more detail ...

Scenario #2: Misunderstanding each other

But this problem arises in any relationship and with any experience. And its meaning is that both partners, due to their personal complexes, cannot meet each other in difficult situations.

They do not understand why each of them can sacrifice something for the sake of the other. Or, most likely, partners simply do not fit together.

The solution to the problem will be a frank dialogue on the topic “Is it necessary to meet further?”. Next: conclusions. If you, a guy, want to save a relationship, you need to show willpower and patience, make certain concessions, learn to understand the girl. Here are very important parameters such as:

The girl will also need to try to understand the guy in some situations, and, most importantly, become the best for him! If there is love...

Scenario #3: Feelings and passion are over

But if there is no love, then feelings and passion will quickly come to naught. This is where global change is needed. To maintain relationships and improve them, I recommend that you go on a trip. Or on a road trip. Or arrange romantic dinner to his girlfriend. Anything new, cool, interesting. That will awaken feelings and passion.

Use my advice How to surprise a girl. Your task is to evoke a lot of emotions in a girl. Perhaps you had a lot of pleasant things in your relationship before the problems arose. Focus on your best memories. But don't just live with them. Create new adventures for you. May you have more to remember in the future.

Girls love intrigue and riddles. It gives a lot of emotions! And if you add an intimate note to this. Anything erotic! Sex in an unusual place, a striptease for your beloved, if you have never done this before. She will be crazy about your actions!

And if this does not help and you have a conflict ...

Scenario #4: Frequent quarrels and conflicts

In addition to misunderstanding, you may just have complete incompatibility with a girl. This will generate constant quarrels and conflicts. But even here I was lying. It doesn't happen that two people can't be together. It's even interesting!

The incompatible is always attracted. Just as long as there is no this awareness, there will be problems. Again, here you will need to work on your behavior and its effectiveness. Learn to more sensitively understand the girl and avoid conflicts with her.

Don't try to settle conflicts with gifts. On the contrary: for good behavior give the girl a lot of attention and pamper her. And for the bad deprive valuable. Yourself, gifts, attention. So you can check how expensive you are for your beloved. If it’s not expensive at all, when deprived of all this, it will simply leave you for another ...

Scenario #5: Your girlfriend decided to leave for another

Here you need to take drastic measures. No emotions, just common sense. Try to determine why the girl does not want more relationship with you. No need to bombard her with questions and bother her with attention.

It is better to pretend that you have nothing against it and step aside. Perhaps this will surprise the girl. Believe me, any girl expects her ex to run after her.

Don't think that her new boyfriend is better than you. It’s just that at the moment of problems in your relationship he turned out to be the most good option to whom to leave your girlfriend. And all that. And you fell sharply in her eyes. And here it is worth using the entire arsenal of our capabilities:

Taking a break in a relationship
Analyzing errors
We change our behavior
We study materials on this topic

We find a reason to meet with our beloved girl and arrange a romantic unusual meeting for her. It is important in no case to give negative notes, only positive! And no memories of the past. We live a new life.

After such a meeting, we communicate for some time with the girl easily and in a friendly manner. No hint of rapprochement. We let her know that we have changed, that we have become better. That there are no previous problems and shortcomings. And the girl will be drawn to us again! But don't get too excited...

New relationships - new life

It often happens that after the return of the girl or when the relationship is established, problems arise again. This happens if the guy has poorly learned the lessons of past years. Relationships are not easy, and they need to be built wisely. Especially the second time.

Your girlfriend will appreciate your changes if you bring them to life. And more than once you will seem to her again interesting and cool, and then everything will go like in the old days. And here you need fruitful work on yourself. Change yourself, become better!

Develop a sense of humor and positive thinking. Remember: thoughts are material. Think the way you want your life to be. Fill your life with bright colors so that your girlfriend is not bored with you. Fantasize and give your beloved a lot of emotions every day.

But be strict when the situation calls for it. Don't let a girl manipulate you. Do not let her go beyond your relationship and harm you. If you wonder why she does this, know that you yourself allow it to be done. Otherwise, she wouldn't have gone for it. This also includes leaving you for another guy.

Know: everything depends only on you! AND build a relationship with a girl of course you can. And I will help you with this. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter, in which I tell you how to build relationships with a girl.

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