Education of the personality of the child and the formation of character. Education of the personal qualities of the child

Hello Julia,
I have a philosophical question this time, more about education than early development. What qualities to educate in a child so that he can survive in our cruel world? So I observe in the environment how many mothers specifically instill and encourage such qualities as selfishness, dubious leadership, do not set any boundaries for children in relation to other children. There is only a suggestion “you are the very best”, after literally every (body) movement or primitive response of the child, stormy, and in my adult opinion, insincere enthusiasm. And we are not talking about babies, but about three-year-olds. baby on group lesson picks up common toy, which is used in the game - the mother smirks rather (how, the leader is growing :)). The teacher is silent, the game goes on without a toy. I personally hate this. I have not yet decided how best to proceed in such cases. Mine already asks a lot of questions, including about the behavior of other people. The concept of “what is good and what is bad” is being laid. On the other hand, in adulthood almost always successful people without principles. that go over their heads. I wouldn’t want my child to walk over their heads, but I wouldn’t want to wipe their feet on him either.
How to find the golden mean? Interested in your opinion on this.
Sincerely,
Ludmila Matveeva

Lyudmila, thank you for a really important and very actual question. I must say right away that my answer to it does not pretend to be a form of “advice”, since I am not a psychologist, but a teacher, therefore the sphere of education for me is an area of ​​amateurish, and not professional interests.
The behavior of a child, and then an adult in society, depends on several factors: the genetically inherent personality traits, influence social environment, upbringing. We cannot change the first. The second is partially correctable: we can control our child's social circle, explain the behavioral reactions of others, and help the child to socialize. The third is entirely the task of us parents. Therefore, the question for me does not sound like “how to raise a successful and at the same time decent person? and “how to do everything in our power so that the child grows up a successful and at the same time decent person?”

First, this is the situation in which you should understand the terminology.
What is a leader? - In the dictionaries of Dahl, Ushakov, Ozhegov we find the same thing: "1. Leader, head of a political party, social and professional organization (polit.). Party leaders. Union leaders. 2. person going first in some. competition (sport). Tournament leader. 3. In races, mainly cycling - a person who rides ahead of the racer and thereby involuntarily encourages him to speed up the movement (sport.) "
Thus, a leader is a person who manages a certain group of people, leading it along with him.
In order to lead the majority, one must possess certain qualities that would allow a person to gain authority among the team.
What are these qualities:
- confidence;
- resourcefulness;
- decisiveness;
- courage;
- support of others;
- Ability to delegate authority.

Let's answer the question honestly: "Do I want my child to have these qualities?" I think in most cases the answer will be yes.
And this is the right course. To educate in the child the ability to quickly navigate in difficult situation, accept right decisions in a time pressure mode, not to be afraid of difficulties, inspire and encourage others, surround yourself with talented people - all this cannot in any way interfere with a child in adulthood, on the contrary, it will contribute to social and professional success.

Only all this has nothing to do with hooligan behavior, rudeness and disregard for the norms of behavior in the team. If a child takes away a toy by force, it is a mistake to believe that this is the quality of a future leader. Maybe a leader, but only some gangster group. If you want just such a future for your child, you can continue to be proud or turn a blind eye to such behavior. If under leadership you see the intellectual and emotional superiority of your child in the team, then you should immediately take a different course in matters of education. How exactly to behave with children in order to cultivate positive leadership skills, - this question is too voluminous to address it in the format of a concise answer. However, let me give you one piece of advice. If your child is prone to impulsive behavior in a team, excessive display of initiative, if he does not listen to the wishes of other children and does not want to accept their opinion, pay more attention to games by the rules so that the child understands that not everything in life is always the way it says and he wants. If your child, on the contrary, is passive in a team, follows the majority, is led and does not show initiative, arrange games at home in which the child’s initiative is natural and necessary condition, give the child more creative tasks, provide more independence.
In business, there is the concept of "business ethics". This is a certain set of moral norms, rules and ideas that regulate the behavior and attitudes of people in the process of their production activities. Business ethics includes honesty in dealing with employees, customers (customers), suppliers and competitors. Being a leader does not mean “going over heads”, but it means “being able to convince”. Being a leader does not mean “arguing”, but it means “being able to compromise”. To be a leader does not mean "to bend one's own line", but it means "to be flexible". Being a leader does not mean “fighting”, but it means “being able to negotiate”. Being a leader does not mean "dictating", but it means "being tolerant". Thus, raising leadership qualities in a child, we should not forget that we are raising a moral person, with high moral principles, familiar with the norms of behavior in society, with etiquette, with good manners And good taste. Raising a child as a leader, we must remember that our goal is to raise a decent, kind, sensitive person, and not a cruel beast, ready to do anything for his own benefit. First of all, your child must be a person, and then a leader.
And even if the leader of your child does not work, do not despair. In the history of mankind there are many examples of no less successful and happy people who have never been told that they are leaders.

A modern teacher is well aware of his great responsibility in the upbringing and education of young people. Beyond definitely important condition professionalism modern education requires the teacher to nurture such personal qualities which may not have been required before.

1. Patience
In my opinion, this is one of the most important qualities of a modern teacher. What is the teacher meeting?
- the number of hyperactive children is growing;
— more models student behavior;
- often changing mood of children;
- higher than before, the exactingness of parents to the teacher;
- higher, but not supported financially and morally, the exactingness of officials from education at all levels.
And this is repeated day after day.
The teacher must be prepared for virtually constant extreme conditions.

2. Acceptance and understanding of the effectiveness of new educational technologies
Digital technologies have rapidly entered education. Last years proved the enormous achievements and possibilities of information and educational technologies. And this process will continue.
And it is very important not only to keep up with the latest technologies, but also to understand which digital tools will provide the greatest efficiency in specific pedagogical conditions.

3. creative attitude to work
Federal state standards suggest more creativity to the learning process. Teachers develop their unique ways work, new forms of pedagogical communication.

4. Ability to be a leader
Design and research activities learners assume new teacher roles of teamwork. This is not a class. This is a temporary creative team. And although the teacher plays the role of a leader, he must be able to hear and listen.

5. Find your place on the Internet
Nowadays, almost every teacher leaves his mark on the Internet.
This means that your image is formed there too.
A modern teacher should know how to manage his image on the Internet and which social networks are preferable for him. Where he can communicate with colleagues, and at the same time be aware of certain risks of working in those in social networks where children are present.

6. Feedback
The ability to communicate not only with students, but also with parents and colleagues is important quality for every teacher.
In order not to spend days on this, you need to learn to speak clearly and concisely. And people around you will appreciate it.

7. Ability to find attractive educational resources
This is very important in order to keep students creative in your subject.
This means that you should spend part of your time searching for new applications, browsing the web for professional inspiration, and subscribing to the RSS feeds of those Internet resources that arouse your constant interest.

8. Continuous self-learning
You must understand that nowadays you cannot know too much. Attend seminars, master classes, sign up for webinars, refer to everything that will make you better.

9. Know how to relax
The teacher should feel in time when it is necessary to disconnect from social media and relax.
Professional burnout of a teacher occurs before he himself notices it.
It is necessary to stop in time. Then your usefulness will last longer.

10. Learn to adapt to new conditions
Information boards in the teachers' rooms do not contain more and more new instructions and directives. Find the easiest ways to overcome the rampant educational bureaucracy, if you can not reject them outright. Children, their needs and interests are also constantly changing.
The ability to adapt, along with patience, is a must.
The teacher is initially an optimist. This attitude of his is definitely passed on to his children.

Both parents take part in the upbringing of the child, but in this matter each of them has its own “area of ​​responsibility”. Only a mother can teach a child some things (for example, a father is unlikely to teach a child how to darn socks well), but the development of some skills and qualities directly depends on the father. : the fact is that the son sees his future self in dad and somehow equals him. Dad for him is a model from which he, consciously or not, will build his life.

What qualities should a father instill in his son in the first place? Nikolai Kornetov, editor of the Papa Today website, told the I-Parent about this.

1. Responsibility

The ability to take responsibility for your own words and actions is one of the most important male qualities, without which your son will have a hard time in life.

A man who cannot be relied upon and whose words mean nothing does not linger in any company for a long time, and he will not be able to build any long-term relationships either.

To make your son responsible, first of all, your own example will help. If you always keep your word, think through your decisions, and, most importantly, be able to admit that you were wrong, if you really were wrong, then most likely your son will grow up the same.

It would seem that cleaning is a “female occupation” and the mother should teach the child to clean up after herself. However, if we are talking about raising a boy, then it is better for the father to take matters into his own hands, because if the child learns that a man should not clean up after himself, then in the very first months independent living He's probably going to be "overgrown with mud."

Your duty, as a father, is to show your son that a man must be clean if he wants others not to treat him with disgust.

To do this, control for yourself whether he brushes his teeth often enough, washes, and keeps his clothes clean. Teach him to put clothes in the closet after a walk, and not throw them on the sofa and chairs, help him determine where and how to put away his personal belongings. And, again, do not forget that the main role model is yourself.

3. Financial literacy

It is never too early to initiate a child in "money" matters. How used to be a boy will understand the real value of money, learn to plan expenses, so it will be easier for him to adapt to independent living in the future. It is likely that he will then have to be the main "earner" in the family, and therefore he must receive the skill of handling money, first of all, from you. For this with early age teach him to pay attention to the price tags in the store: this will teach him to navigate the prices and understand what is “a lot” and what is “little”.

Dedicate your son to the financial life of the family and consult with him about upcoming big purchases: let him take part in the planning of family expenses.

It would not be superfluous to somehow draw up a budget with him, say, a trip to the sea. In the future, he will definitely thank you for this.

4. Ability to resolve conflicts (both good and bad)

The social reality is that men and women need slightly different skills to resolve conflicts, so your male experience in this case, he is irreplaceable.

fall into conflict situations the boy will be from an early age, and you must teach him when the matter must be resolved by compromise, when it is not embarrassing to turn to adults for help, and after what “signal”, most likely, you will have to fight.

By the way, only you can teach him to defend himself physically, otherwise he will have to learn this from his own mistakes, and this will be much more painful.

In development gaming activity three stages are distinguished: first, playing alone, then next to other children, and finally, interacting with them. This is how the first models are laid social relations, and yu.

However, as the great teacher Anton Semyonovich Makarenko rightly noted, “a person is not brought up piecemeal”, therefore, by teaching children to keep the toy economy in order, parents lay the foundations for accuracy in them, and suggesting topics for role playing, contribute to the development of imagination, etc. Fairy tales, stories, poems, plots of television and radio programs can serve as clues. They also help develop the mental potential of the child as a whole. At first the baby just listens, then learns to retell short poems and fairy tales. And since preschoolers have involuntary attention and memory, the works should intrigue with brightness and emotionality.

The volume and list of sources of knowledge is gradually increasing, especially since kids, as a rule, are inexhaustible in their cognitive search. Little “why” want to know everything at once, sometimes confusing their parents with their questions. If you do not dismiss the curious "discoverer" of the world, do not get rid of standard phrase“Grow up - you will know”, then the process of cognition can become extremely exciting for the child, which will then help when studying at school.

through the transfer of the personal relationship of parents to the fatherland and those living on it.

Children early begin to show interest in everything that happens, and every family has relics - documents, photographs, awards from relatives and friends who, for example, fought on the fronts of the Great Patriotic War, were involved with others significant events. An excellent means of education can be holidays, “red days of the calendar” and for other reasons.

It is well known that for many people - small and large - the most favorite holiday is New Year, but few people think about the reasons for this. Meanwhile, the mechanism of formation of a positive perception of the event is quite simple. After all, many rituals are associated with the New Year: a Christmas tree, Santa Claus, the Snow Maiden, gifts, clockwork, champagne, etc. All these details affect emotional sphere person, decorate the holiday, giving pleasure. And if you accompany the celebration of, for example, Victory Day with your own rituals, then you can consolidate in the child’s soul a sense of belonging to the event and pride in their country.

In addition, during walks, parents can tell the child about historical monuments erected near familiar places, about what is connected with these witnesses of the past. native land what kind of people were involved. It is also very important that children be proud of the role of their parents in the life of the labor collective, the region, and possibly the whole country. If a father and mother tell their son or daughter about their work and, in turn, are interested in their affairs, this raises the child's self-esteem, allows him to feel significant, contributes to the formation of civic consciousness.

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Since a child has a natural need for activity, as well as a tendency to imitate, kids are very drawn to adult activities: they want to wash dishes, do laundry, sweep the floor, make pies, water garden beds, etc. If children are encouraged to participate in household troubles, then gradually the usual activities will become natural and easy. Of course, parents will have to come to terms with the fact that some of the dishes will be broken (and not scolded for it!), The bed is not made very neatly, and the pie will not be white, but grey colour and a strange shape, but all this will be made up for by the industriousness of the child.

One of the first places in the life of a family should be physical education child. The state of health largely determines the well-being and mood of a person, his success in work, and the whole worldview as a whole. Therefore, since breastfed baby a caring mother does simple sets of exercises, and it is advisable to teach a child to morning exercises as soon as he learns to walk. Moreover, in modern conditions it is easy to equip a home mini-stadium in a city apartment by installing Swedish wall, climbing rope, rings, etc. Later, this will help the child learn to run, jump, swim, ski, skate, play tennis or badminton. In general, a daughter or son will be able to choose a sport to their liking, not necessarily for professional occupations but to keep fit and maintain healthy lifestyle life.

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For a baby, the first sources of aesthetic impressions are toys, then his clothes, household items: dishes, furniture, all the furnishings in the apartment. Comfort, cleanliness and order in the room, including among toys, contribute to the education of aesthetic taste. But the greatest force works of art have an impact, so it is important to introduce children to artistic creativity. Moreover, the need for drawing is detected very early, at about 1.5-2 years. More K.D. Ushinsky noted that all children are passionate draftsmen, and parents are responsible for ensuring that the child's desire to express himself is satisfied.

Of no less importance is music, the lessons of which also contribute to the development of perseverance, perseverance, and organization. The beginning of familiarization with music is lullabies, with which the mother cradles the baby, and a little later he will be happy to listen to the simple works of composers. Scientists say that the constant sound of specially selected classical music stimulates intellectual development child.

The main thing is that an aesthetically developed person does not just enjoy beauty, but he himself strives to create beauty and eradicate ugliness.

The formation of all aspects of the personality, as it were, is concentrated in moral education, since it manifests itself in a person’s attitude to various areas being: to society, other people, nature, labor, Fatherland, etc. The purpose and result moral education becomes the formation in children of high moral qualities: kindness, honesty, empathy, courage, responsibility, decency, diligence, etc.

There are various ways and means of moral education of a child in the family, among which communication with parents is in the first place. However, as one of the classics of pedagogy quite rightly noted, “education without self-education does not exist,” and this should also be attributed to parents.

Upbringing is always a mutual process, therefore, in a prosperous family, adults influence children while correcting each other. And in this correction great importance has, on the one hand, the development of an effective style parenting, and on the other hand, taking into account age and individual characteristics children. Taken together, this makes family education in the process of constant search, creativity, doubts and successes.

L. Smagina