Wise thoughts about ungrateful people. Ungrateful people. Psychology. How to deal with an ungrateful person

Statuses about ungrateful people are for those who feel offended. Don't hold grudges in yourself, just say exactly what you think as soon as possible!

Remember the old rule: don't do good unless you're asked to.

I didn't want you to wallow at my feet. One word of gratitude would suffice for me ...
No matter how hard it is for you, there will still be a person in worse position than you. Dare to be grateful!
Hug your mom, kiss your grandma. It is likely that these people have done a lot for you. Do you appreciate it?
You have lived through this situation if you have become grateful. Even if there is nothing to be thankful for.
Know how to do good and know how to receive gratitude for this good. Otherwise, then they will demand this kindness from you.
It’s sad when you put your whole soul, all thoughts, all emotions into a person, and in return you get a cold: “I didn’t ask.”
How your actions are valued depends on what kind of person you are, and not on what act you did there ...
To receive evil in return for a good deed is so typical of our time.
If you wait for gratitude, then you can grow old. And from most people!
Play with me! So I'll take it and do with you what you usually do with me ...
Most good people- random strangers. And the most ungrateful are relatives.
I do not spare money, people are more important to me. But duplicity... No, I can't stand that.
Well, good. I did this good just for the sake of it. Use it, but I won't help you anymore!
It just hurts. It's just embarrassing. But I will survive. And your ingratitude will be remembered a thousand times more!
Children should not be grateful for the boots that you bought them. They should be grateful for the example of right living...
Never ask for gratitude. If she's not there, leave. no matter where, just go.

I don't think it's fashionable to be grateful.

People are used to insulting and humiliating. And they are used to being ungrateful. If you suffer from this affliction, set the status to pro ungrateful.

You can’t even imagine how many words of gratitude were not said because of banal shyness, and not out of anger.
Our relationship is imperfect. But I'm grateful that you know how to say "thank you" and "sorry."
For someone, you are necessarily not grateful. So be sure to pay on time!
You can't get gratitude. Well, it's impossible. Whatever you do...
Giving thanks and being grateful are completely different things. So. Better be grateful!
Don't give a person a lot, and don't give a person a little. That's when he will appreciate you!
In order for a person to rise, he needs help. And so that he is grateful to you, FIG understand what needs to be done ...
A successful person will always be popular. But the highest decoration is gratitude.
Everyone talks about goodness disappearing. But to revive it, just stop being ungrateful!
Don't be afraid to call and just say "thank you". The person will not bite you, but both of you will be pleased!
If you cannot be grateful, you cannot become human. And if you can't become a man, you won't truly love yourself.
You can die in peace only when you can fully feel the gratitude of the children.
I can be grateful. This is my dignity and my punishment.
Instead of being vindictive, you should be grateful. In words, everything is, as always, simple.
Not many people know that sucking up and being grateful are completely different things.

If you are not ready for ingratitude, it is better not to do good to people!

Statuses about ungrateful relatives usually make you think about life in general. In addition, it is likely that ungrateful relatives themselves will see these statuses.

It is unpleasant when you go towards a person with open arms, and in response to you - a spit in the soul.
Egoists are always condemned, nevertheless, it is much easier for them.
It's amazing how much attention relatives have after the money appears ...
You seem to wish all the best for the holidays. But just a little - they won’t even look in your direction.
Practice shows that if you call, write and take care, you will find yourself fucking useless.
Our life is strange: you need to communicate with a person you are not interested in just because he is a relative.
They say family should help. But more often than not, they just offend.
Learn not only to speak, but also to listen. And then you learn to be grateful.
In all likelihood, a person should be born grateful. And apparently, in our family they are not born like that 😀
In the relationship of strangers, there is usually more gratitude than in the most friendly, at first glance, families.
I used to think that my relatives were hypocrites. Now I understand that they are also ungrateful ...
If you want adrenaline in life, open a business with relatives. And if you just want normal life, do not do that.
Think of your relatives right now. Call, come if you can. But do not remember only when trouble happened.
My relatives are so ungrateful that they don't even like my photo 😀
We are interested in who our ancestors are in the tenth generation, but somehow we don’t want to remember those who still exist ...

Choose the sharpest, in your opinion, status about ungrateful people.

First of all, people are quick to show ingratitude. Victor Hugo

So hard and bitter when your own best intentions and kindness are thrown in your face! Ann Bronte

Gratitude is the least of the virtues, ingratitude the worst of the vices. Thomas Fulle

People not only forget good deeds and insults, but even tend to hate their benefactors and forgive offenders. The need to give thanks for and avenge evil seems to them a slavery to which they do not want to submit. François de La Rochefoucauld

Instead of worrying about ingratitude, be prepared for it. The only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to do good deeds for the joy that comes from it. Dale Carnegie

It is a small misfortune to serve an ungrateful one, but a big one is to accept a service from a scoundrel. François de La Rochefoucauld

Ingratitude never hurts the human in the same way as when it comes from people for whose sake we have decided on an unseemly act. Henry Fielding

There are far fewer ungrateful people than people think, because there are far fewer generous people than people think. Charles de Saint Evremont

It is painful for a subtle soul to realize that someone is indebted to it for gratitude; a rough soul - to recognize itself as indebted to someone. Friedrich Nietzsche

Is there anything more monstrous than an ungrateful person? William Shakespeare

You are indignant that there are ungrateful people in the world, ask your conscience if everyone who did you favors found you grateful. Lucius Annaeus Seneca (the Younger)

The first reason for ingratitude is that he cannot thank in due measure. There is no hatred more pernicious than that which is born of shame for an unrequited beneficence.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca (the Younger)

Gratitude is the little that cannot be bought ... It costs nothing for a scoundrel and a swindler to portray gratitude, but with true feeling gratitude is born. George Halifax

An ungrateful person is a person without a conscience, one should not believe him. Peter I the Great

Ingratitude as a quality of a person is a tendency not to show in verbal, non-verbal or mental form pleasure, heartfelt goodwill for the good deed and for the already existing blessings of life.

A businessman is going to an important meeting, he is late, he is nervous, he cannot find a place to park. Raises her face to the sky and says, “God, help me find a parking spot!” Then I will transfer a lot of money to the orphanage, stop drinking and go to church every Sunday! All of a sudden miraculously there is a free space. He again turns to the sky: - Oh, that's it, don't. Found!

Lover aquarium fish asked: “What do you get from your hobby? How can you communicate with fish? After all, these are dumb creatures that are not even able to express gratitude to you for caring for them. A dog loves its owner and expresses its gratitude to him in a variety of ways available to her. The cat rubs against its legs and purrs gratefully ... And what about the fish? You don’t get any gratitude from them!” The aquarist thought for a second and said: “When I see that fish and aquatic plants feel great in an aquarium, and therefore they multiply intensively and generally prosper and flourish, I understand that by doing so they say “thank you” to me. Prosperity is their gratitude!”

A good deed does not require gratitude. mother experiences unconditional love to the baby. Taking care of him, it would not even occur to her to think about gratitude. He smiled, sleeps, is satisfied, does not get sick, does not scream, what else is needed for happiness? The benefactor has no right to receive gratitude. If he suffers from other people's ingratitude, it sure sign self-interest, and his good deed can be safely classified as a selfish deed in the mode "you - to me, I - to you." It is not for nothing that folk wisdom says: "They do not seek good from good." If, while doing a so-called good deed, the "benefactor" made a mistake in the calculations and did not receive, as they used to say in the old days, a "reward" - this is his problem. In a selfish world where interests clash every now and then, it's not uncommon to fail to reclaim accounts payable for "good deeds."

The "benefactor-bankrupt" is indignant, condemns and blames human ingratitude. He is not satisfied with the understanding that the debtor is prospering due to his upbringing, help or advice. He needs tangible tokens of gratitude. Carnegie writes: “Instead of worrying about ingratitude, be prepared for it. The only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to do good deeds for the joy that comes from it. If you want to find happiness, stop thinking about gratitude and ingratitude and indulge in the inner joy that self-giving itself brings.

False benefactors love a noisy display of gratitude, so that the very last crow knows about it. They should be filled with vanity, appearing in the eyes of those around them as goodness and beneficence. But the main motive of their actions is often explained simply and tritely - to make another person dependent. Under the veil of beneficence, greed, meanness, deceit, hypocrisy, in a word, any group of vices hides its intention to manipulate a person, interfere in his personal life, direct, indicate and demand the fulfillment of their desires. Manipulators are aware of the universal human quality - to be moderately consistent, to return a favor for a favor. A person falls into a psychological trap - he is unpleasant for interference in his life, but he does not want to be ungrateful. Realizing what will follow his rebellion of defiance, he often compromises. And loud accusations will follow: “Ungrateful son! We raised you, fed you, pulled the last veins, and you…”, “Who would you be now? I found you in the dump. Laundered, warmed, put in a chic position, and you ... "," I gave you best years life, and you ... "

With a benefactor, everything is clear, but how should the beneficiary react to a good deed? Being ungrateful is not safe. What should every person know when embarking on the path of ingratitude? Ingratitude is one of the most terrible sins that cannot be expiated by anything. If people had the knowledge of what severe consequences follow their ingratitude, they would line up just to thank the benefactor in some acceptable way. Dante placed ungrateful friends in the most terrible conditions Hell, the very last circle. So Dante shows his attitude towards those who have forgotten or transgressed through a sense of gratitude. In Rome, a freed slave was punished by repeated enslavement for showing ingratitude towards his patron - the guardian, for causing the death of the guardian, the punishment was like parricide.

First of all, luck turns away from an ungrateful person, now a constant companion of his life is bad luck. Moreover, unhappiness and suffering come into life. With enviable constancy, all the circumstances of life are stacked against him, a person loses what he showed ingratitude for. As punishment for ingratitude, he may lose his memory. For example, a person is unhappy in a family because of ingratitude to God, who gave this family.

An ungrateful person does not know how to properly use what he has received. Only gratitude gives understanding and awareness of the scale and size of a good deed. Benefits received for free are not valued. Ingratitude, for example, received great job, but does not understand or does not want to understand what a good deed has been done for her. The result is not difficult to predict - it will fly out of work, like a cork from New Year's bottle champagne.

Ingratitude is a manifestation of pride, hence the severity of punishment. Internally, it considers: "Everyone owes me ...", taking the beneficence for granted, as the fulfillment of direct duties by a person. Such a dependent position extends not only to relatives, but also to strangers. Taking everything for granted, ingratitude, being extremely selfish, is itself incapable of good deeds. Not only that, it systematically discounts benefits. Gratitude requires mental effort and self-respect. Ingratitude is not sure of itself, it is disturbed by the mere thought of gratitude. Therefore, he begins to engage in self-deception, persuading himself: “It cost him nothing”, “Everyone would have done this in her place”, “He himself received it as a gift”.

Ingratitude does not want to be indebted, she often perceives good deeds in relation to herself as her own weakness and insolvency. Goethe wrote: “When we meet a person who owes us, we immediately remember how grateful he should be to us. And how often we ourselves meet people whom we should thank, and we don’t think about it at all. Ingratitude is a kind of weakness. Great people are never ungrateful."

In addition to the usual, there is also black ingratitude, which manifests itself approximately as in this parable: ““The wanderer found a freezing snake and, taking pity on it, put it in his bosom to warm it. The snake warmed itself on the traveler's chest and stung him. Remember, Jesus healed ten people of leprosy, and only one came to thank him. Here are some examples of black ingratitude.

In 2007, Oprah Winfrey, a well-known American TV presenter, presented each viewer in the audience with a car on her show. But instead of thanks, I received several lawsuits from "grateful" people for having to pay taxes on her gift.

One Russified German said: “I felt sorry for the thin and pale children of my Russian neighbor. “Send,” I tell him, “your guys in the morning, I will give them two bottles of milk, let them drink to their health.” And so the whole summer went well. But towards autumn, when the cow reduced her milk yield, I decided to give one bottle a day. When the cow stopped milking altogether, the children returned home with an empty bottle. The neighbor did not believe that I had no more milk and stopped greeting me. With my participation, I hurt myself: I wouldn’t give milk to the children, and there would be no quarrel. “For my penny, I’m not good either.”

They tell about one coachman whom the bachelor gentleman liked to invite to Easter table"break the fast". Once the master was informed that the coachman who brought him from matins, not having time to unharness the troika, pretty much “grabbed” from the courtyards in the kitchen. The master was indignant and this time did not invite the coachman. They say that the coachman was so offended that he set fire to the manor’s house “from drunken eyes” and was angry with the whole household, who put out the fire in time and saved the master. So you “warmed the snake in your bosom”, or, as it is customary to say in such cases: “For my goodness, they broke my rib.”

A simple English homosexual was friends with a simple English lesbian. And then one day a lesbian wanted children. A friend, due to his orientation, could not help her in this matter directly, but shared his sperm. And the girl gave birth to two daughters. And she would be grateful! But she harbored ingratitude. And ten years later, she filed a lawsuit against the donor, demanding from him, you won’t believe, alimony! And the court did oblige the unfortunate homosexual to pay alimony to children, to whom, frankly, he has nothing to do except genetic. And I never even saw them.

Petr Kovalev

The paradox of life is that ingratitude as a character trait is quite common. But luck turns away from people with this quality, bad luck becomes their companion, and there is no harmony and peace in the soul. Why is this happening?

What is ingratitude?

To answer this question, let's start with gratitude. It is part of the culture developed by mankind. It manifests itself in communication and relationships between people. Its essence is to appreciate the good done in relation to someone, and to express gratitude to the benefactor.

But often you have to deal with a lack of gratitude. At the same time, the beneficiary does not express his gratitude in any way: neither in word nor in deed. Ungrateful people take the money, emotions or time spent on them for granted.

Moreover, in everyday life the concept of "black ingratitude" is used, when the benefactor not only does not receive words of gratitude in response to a good deed, but also feels obvious hostility on the part of the person to whom the service was rendered. Such an attitude towards people for many becomes a quality of personality condemned by all the peoples of the world.

An example of ingratitude

The best way to illustrate the concept under consideration is an example. One of the villagers decided to support a neighbor who had many children. Their pale appearance indicated that they were clearly malnourished. Having a cow on the farm, the peasant began to give the guys two bottles of milk a day. And soon it became a habit.

But by autumn, the cow began to milk worse, and the amount of milk had to be reduced. Children began to receive only a bottle. And then there were times when there was no milk at all, and the owner of the cow had to apologize to a neighbor for not being able to help his family anymore.

But he was so offended by the refusal to help that he even stopped saying hello. Instead of saying, "Thank you for your free help for such a long time," the neighbor blazed with hatred for the benefactor.

Ingratitude as a grave sin

The Christian religion perceives this quality as a vice. Ingratitude is described in the gospel parables. Everyone knows how Jesus cured ten people of leprosy. And only one of them thanked him for the miraculous salvation. There is also a parable about a snake that a stranger hid in his bosom to warm him from the cold. She, being warm, stung her savior.

IN Ancient Rome ingratitude was considered a crime. A freed slave was again put in shackles if he spoke badly of his master. And Dante, the 13th-century Italian thinker famous for writing the Divine Comedy, placed the ungrateful in one of the circles of hell.

It is believed that the quality under discussion goes hand in hand with the main sins described in the Bible - pride, envy and hatred. have high self-esteem. They sincerely believe that those around them should. Moreover, if they are offered less than expected, they perceive it as humiliation: "How can you put a piece of cake without a rose on my plate?" They envy those who got the best pieces, get annoyed at the recollection of events where, in their opinion, they were humiliated and insulted.

Famous people who condemn ingratitude

Famous thinkers, writers and poets considered ingratitude to be an absolutely unacceptable quality of a person. So, Shakespeare said that there is nothing more monstrous than ingratitude. And Goethe recognized this as a kind of weakness, emphasizing that this quality cannot be inherent in outstanding personalities a priori.

Pythagoras denied nobility to the ungrateful. And Stephen King compared a child with the described quality to a poisonous snake.

Other sayings about ungrateful people

Of course, what has been said above is absolutely true, but, by the way, like the idea that a good deed is not done for the sake of gratitude. For example, D. Mukherjee believes that if a good deed is told to everyone, then such a person cannot be called kind.

And Seneca argued that the one who received the service, and not the one who rendered it, should tell about the good deed.

In turn, V. O. Klyuchevsky, a Russian historian, wrote that the demand for gratitude is stupid. D. Carnegie emphasized that a benefactor should receive inner joy from self-giving, and not wait for words of gratitude. A. Decurcelle added to this that such an expectation is a trade in good deeds.

There are many attempts in history to explain the origins of ingratitude. So, according to F. Nietzsche, the consciousness of being indebted becomes painful for people with a rough soul. And Tacitus suggested that good deeds can only be pleasant when the recipient is able to repay them. If they are exorbitant, then hatred arises towards the donor.

Unfortunately, ungrateful people, according to statistics, are quite common. It is not by chance that the gospel parable says that only one in ten is capable of gratitude for a service. But let's dwell a little more on situations where people, in principle, do not experience gratitude.

Satisfying your own needs

A person may not be fully aware, but he is always annoyed by the feeling of superiority on the part of a communication partner. In the background, it can even cause unmotivated aggression. Superiority can be expressed in absolutely different ways: from verbal abuse to a grin and condescending intonation. Imposed advice without a request is also an application for superiority: "I already know how ..."

A person who does a good deed of his own free will, and does not fulfill the request of another person, must be aware that he satisfies own needs and can hardly count on positive reaction in reply. Consider this phenomenon on the example of Oprah Winfrey. The highest paid TV presenter in 2007 gave all viewers of her show a car. And what did you get in return? Lots of lawsuits. Outraged spectators were unhappy that taxes were demanded from them.

If a person does something without a request, in fact he wants to be useful to someone, necessary, but in accordance with his personal understanding of achieving the goal. He satisfies not others' needs, but his own needs. In this case, ungrateful people appear. Psychology in the context of the problem proposes to consider only those situations where the benefactor does a good deed in response to the request of a particular person.

Origins of ingratitude

Researchers of the human soul believe that ungrateful people become such from birth. This feeling is associated with generosity, greed, the ability to love and experience pleasure.

There are two most common points of view on the origin of the condemned personality trait. The author of the first is the famous psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, who passed away in 1960. The famous British woman believed that the feeling of gratitude is innate and manifests itself in the first weeks of life. If, receiving breast milk, the baby is grateful, the forces of good will be the most important in him. If he only demands and at the same time does not show gratitude to his mother, a program of hatred and anger is laid in him.

Another scientist, Harry Guntrip, who left this world in 1975, gave a different answer to the question of why people are ungrateful. In his opinion, it depends on the ability of the mother to love her child: to stroke in time, to calm down, to relieve anxiety. Reacting to the hunger of the baby, such a woman will not make him cry for a long time and ask for milk. If a child develops a frustrated need to eat (with frequent untimely satisfaction of the need), then this indicates a manifestation of greed in the future. Guntrip described the phenomenon of internalization - the formation of one's own "goodness" in the presence of a "good" mother and "badness" if she is perceived as "bad".

In later life, perceiving himself negatively, when meeting a generous person, our baby begins to feel even more bad. Gratitude for him is associated with feelings of guilt and shame, and he simply blocks them.

Ungrateful - what are they?

Nietzsche described a phenomenon called ressentiment (translated as "embitterment"). It is about the feeling of hatred towards the benefactor. This is the hostility of the slave towards the master who let him go. Because of his own inferiority, weakness and envy, the beneficiary denies the value system of the one who does a good deed.

For example, the poor who received material support from a wealthy person, begins to spread rumors about the unrighteous sources of income of the donor, his self-interest, including attributing to him the desire to receive absolution at his expense, etc. Moreover, the more good things are done, the stronger the blows that he is able to inflict. folk wisdom on this occasion, it is clearly visible in the saying, which you can just start, because everyone knows its ending: "Do not do good ..."

The word "ungrateful" often characterizes sad people. They are dissatisfied with life, feel worse, get sick more often and live much less than others. It turns out that life itself returns the negative to them like a boomerang.

How to communicate with an ungrateful person?

Psychologists advise excluding such people from your communication. Recognizing that they really exist, we must understand what we find in their face surrounded by envious, hostile and often rather vile persons.

If communication cannot be avoided, one should understand what is behind this act: unwillingness to be in debt that was not demanded by them, or a sense of failure. who prefer to help others, but do not want to be in someone's debt themselves. And relationships should be built depending on the cause. Do not provide services without asking and do something based on gratitude.

Good must be done just like that. If you expect something in return, then you will definitely have to experience disappointment. A person who does good deeds should act as if he were throwing a coin into the river that cannot be returned.

How to develop the quality of gratitude in yourself?

It is very important to be grateful ourselves, because this quality makes us happy. Scientists conducted an experiment: three groups of subjects were asked to record the events of their lives for a certain time. The first recorded good and bad deeds. The second - only problematic, and the third - pleasant events for which they thanked their benefactors. It turned out that the words "thank you" can work wonders. The subjects from the third group improved physical and psychological condition, attention has become focused exclusively on the good.

Only gratitude, felt by the heart and reinforced by action, positively affects the individual and strengthens his relationship with others. As an act, you can give a gift, offer a return service or money. The main condition is that gratitude be sincere.

Instead of a conclusion

Two groups of high school students were given the task of writing an essay about their main achievement in life. First reported that best work will be read to everyone. The second was asked to do the work anonymously. In the essays read out to the audience, many words of gratitude were said to teachers, parents, and coaches. In the second group, the guys described how long and hard they went to their first victory in their lives, selflessly overcoming obstacles. How would you write?

Dear friends, after some of your comments and questions, there was a desire to talk about gratitude-ungratefulness. http: //www .site/cat/literature/pol it/1199118.html?author
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"ABOUT INGRATITUDE"
Once I read the thought of the ancient sages: "Fear the ungrateful." Then I disagreed with her. Well, think about it, met a man who didn't say thank you. You can not respect this person, you can, in the end, regret that you did not receive good upbringing but why be afraid? What harm can be done by ingratitude to cause fear?
And, as always, life itself presents you with the experience of knowing. How grateful I am to the sages for simply expressing their thoughts and not explaining them! What a joy that they allow you to reach the truth yourself, to feel and realize with your nose the amazing rightness and simplicity of the thought expressed!
We have all been taught to say thank you since childhood. If we were given or offered something, our mothers always reminded us: “What should I say?”. And we, not at all understanding the meaning of these words, mechanically repeated them, and in response we received a kiss, a smile, praise. We started to like to say these " magic words". With age, already understanding the meaning of these words, we begin to pronounce them as one of the rules of etiquette, as a way of communication, and, finally, it becomes just a banal habit.
Believe me, everything is not so simple. After all, we utter words of gratitude only when they offer us help, present gifts, sympathize, congratulate, say good words, answer the right question, wish good luck and happiness, understand, rejoice at our successes, forgive mistakes, evaluate our work, etc. And how nice it is to hear "THANK YOU", which is said to you yourself! So, you also helped, fell in love, gave, congratulated, sympathized, forgave, understood, appreciated, rejoiced ... Of course, the conditions of external politeness are necessary, but I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the ungrateful.
Who are these ungrateful people? And here, of course, one cannot do without Dostoevsky. One of the heroes of the novel "Crime and Punishment" says: "The ungrateful hates the one to whom he should be grateful." It's about the plebeians and the slave man. The feeling of ingratitude is inherent in the humiliated, offended and the poor. By ingratitude they elevate themselves to a social rank, and yell - you owe me, everyone owes me! The ungrateful is humiliated by someone's generosity, disinterestedness, gratitude, because he is not capable of all this.
Fear the ungrateful, because ungrateful people are always and necessarily envious, greedy, mediocre, vindictive, ruthless, unspiritual and unhappy.
Now I am afraid of the ungrateful, but most of all I am afraid of being ungrateful.
And now try to transfer everything that has been said to some people and the puzzles will converge without the slightest seam.

A few aphorisms to which I subscribe:
Napoleon:
“Do you know that much worse than the vicissitudes of fortune is unreasonable disgusting human ingratitude.”
Cervantes:
“No sin angers or revolts God so much as ingratitude…”
Buddha:
"The greatest guilt in a person's life is ingratitude"
Moritz Gottlieb
“The ungrateful does not forget the services rendered to him, but only tries to forget them”

From the book Esther and Jerry Hicks Teaching about the realization of desires.
"Gratitude ennobles and attracts happiness."
“There is nothing we are more grateful for than gratitude.”