Divorce from her husband: how to move it easier? How can you survive a divorce from your husband without pain and torment. Proven ways to get back to normal life
IN modern society the foundations of marriage are crumbling. Statistics show that every year there are more and more divorces. If in the USSR it was considered a shameful thing to dissolve the union, now it is common occurrence. Despite this, parting hurts partners. let go old life and starting a new one is not so easy, but it is quite feasible.
heartache during a divorce, it is natural, you should not try to seem indifferent and independent. Psychologists say that acute experiences last a maximum of a month, the rest of the time is a habit of feeling negative emotions. Within 6 months, a person adapts to a new life, and a year later comes complete peace of mind and peace. Accepting the situation will help you get through a divorce with your husband. Everything turned out this way and not otherwise. Do not think about the past, about what actions you would change. And most importantly - let go of the guilt that the family was destroyed. Acquaintance and communication with friends in misfortune will help you with this:- sign up for an anonymous circle at a psychological center like the "Club of ex-wives";
- register on thematic forums about divorce;
- see a professional psychologist.
Walking down the aisle in a white dress and putting a ring on the hand of a loved one, no woman even close admits the thought of divorce. After all, there are so many hopes, plans and desires ahead. But dramas happen, and, alas, not so rarely. divorce proceedings almost always it is painful and difficult for both spouses, regardless of which of them was the initiator. It's even more complicated when there are children. What to do if you find yourself in such a situation? How to endure the breakup of a family less tragically and live on? What to say to the child and how not to hurt him? What advice do psychologists give? We will talk about this and many other things in the article.
When there are children
Regardless of who initiated the breakup, the first thing to do is take care of the children, especially when they are small. No matter how painful, insulting and difficult, it is necessary to do the maximum so that for the baby such changes in life go as smoothly as possible.
What Not to Do
A big mistake that some wives make is trying to save the family and keep the husband just for the sake of the child, so as not to grow up without a father. But psychologists say it will do much more harm than good.
Babies are very sensitive and you can't fool them. When feelings have cooled between spouses, there is no mutual understanding, respect, trust - the child will see it. And where in the house occur frequent scandals in front of him, this will negatively affect the psyche of the baby.
A person will not grow up happy and mentally healthy in such an environment. Therefore, one should not try to save a marriage only for the sake of children. It will be much more correct to divorce and give yourself a chance in the future to create more harmonious union to file the heirs really correct and best example what a family should be.
Even if a woman does not seek to marry a second time, but allows herself to live happily without a husband, it will be much better for a child than growing up in an atmosphere where everything is feigned and strained.
How to proceed
- Explain. Even when the baby is very small, in any case, be sure to talk to him. Explain that sometimes in life this happens, people disperse. And it's not as bad as it might seem. Talk to your child like an adult, he understands more than you used to think. The most important thing is to give the baby the confidence that mom and dad will continue to love and care for him, even living apart.
- Don't scold your husband. If you consider your husband to be guilty of a divorce, hold a grudge or anger at him, do not show this to your offspring, do not insult your spouse in front of him. Do not humiliate the father of your children. Remember the time when you loved this person and agreed to give birth from him. For a child, a father is an unconditional example. And if he begins to consider his dad a scoundrel, bad, unworthy, then this complex runs the risk of passing to him. Complexes, uncertainty, isolation, bitterness will develop. Try to do what is necessary so that between the children and their father a good relationship.
- Don't stop seeing. Situations are different, and whatever the father, do not interfere with his desire for a son / daughter. He has every right to do this, as well as to give care, help, support.
In no case do not sort things out in front of the kids. Do it in their absence or for closed doors. And remember - scandals bring nothing but stress and damaged nerves. Even the most difficult conflicts can always be resolved through conversations and negotiations in peaceful tones. Surviving a breakup is easier when two people can do without screaming.
You have to live on no matter what. Daughter or son will never interfere with your personal relationships. You get a chance to meet another person, and if he loves you, he will definitely accept your blood. Do not deprive yourself of the opportunity to become truly happy and do not try to glue together what has shattered into small pieces.
Divorce during pregnancy
It also happens that a disagreement in a relationship happens when a woman is waiting for replenishment. And even this situation does not always contribute to the preservation of the family. How to live on if the husband leaves, leaving his wife pregnant?
The health of the unborn baby should be the highest priority for the mother at the time of pregnancy. Just can't be allowed nervous breakdowns and strong feelings, being "in position".
Not every wife calmly decides to let go of a man when she expects a crumb from him, but also to keep her husband, manipulating this fact - big mistake. When a man decides to leave, he will leave anyway, and there is no point in postponing this time.
Shift your focus to taking care of little man which is in the womb. Having been born, the baby will not let you feel lonely. One smile of such a miracle will give you so much happiness that any problems will fade against this background. Try to resolve the conflict as calmly as possible, do not let yourself strong feelings, the unborn baby will begin to feel it and also react with anxiety. Pregnancy is a responsibility. And you just have to become more courageous and strong. A small defenseless baby really needs a mother, and nothing can be more important! No man is worth sacrificing the health of his child.
Do not think that with the advent of a child, your personal life will end. You will become a mother, but at the same time you will remain a woman, moreover, free. Of course, in the first few months, the baby is likely to completely occupy your attention. But when he grows up a little, do not deny yourself the opportunity to build a new personal life. Often, women manage to successfully marry with two or even three children. The main thing is to believe that you are worthy of happiness.
When divorce is good
It happens when a wife wants to decide on a divorce because of the unbearable behavior of her husband. But thoughts about children stop and cast doubts. Is it worth keeping a family when a man behaves in an extremely inappropriate way and deprives loved ones of peace and well-being? What the advice of psychologists say, consider below.
Husband is an alcoholic
Alcoholism is a disease and nothing else. When a man does not want to be treated and continues to abuse alcohol, serious trials fall to the lot of his wife. First, a drunk person can be aggressive and dangerous. Secondly, he may remain unemployed due to addiction, squandering family finances, and thirdly, this is a disgusting example for children. Even the most strong love"will die" very soon if the husband suffers from alcoholism.
Often a woman says: “I want to, but I can’t decide on a divorce, because we have children.” And, on the one hand, this is understandable. But on the other hand, in what atmosphere do they grow up, what examples do they see from their father?
What to do?
- Get your priorities right. If you want to save a family because of children, consider what good they get by living with a drinker. There is a possibility that, as adults, they will follow a bad example. In addition, in homes where the husband is an alcoholic, scandals, quarrels and even fights occur quite often. By protecting children from such situations, you will contribute to their mental health. No need to endure a sick addict who does not want to recover, just for the sake of the children. You better not make them with this approach.
- Recognize your husband's illness. Drop all emotions and feelings and face the truth. The person is sick and that's a fact. Either treatment, or only aggravation of the situation - these are two possible development options. There is no third, no matter what illusions you entertain yourself with. Sometimes a wife tries to give her husband more attention and care, or even decides to give birth again, in the hope that he will stop drinking. But changes in best case temporary, at worst - they do not exist at all. Accept this truth.
- Let go of fears and doubts. Having decided on a divorce, do not succumb to your own pity, doubts, persuasion of your husband. You understand that it will be better for you, do not be afraid of anything. Understand that a person can change only when he really wants to. And you are not able to help if he does not have such a desire. Therefore, down with all doubts. No more strength tolerate a drunkard - leave him without regrets.
Another trouble that overtakes some families is a tyrant man. This is the type of people who want to have complete power over their loved ones. They are extremely picky about their wives, often beat them, do not give them any freedom, constantly suspect them of infidelity, and limit their finances. Aggressive and too strict towards children. They demand complete submission both from the wife and from their own children. Life for a wife in such an atmosphere becomes a living hell.
What to do?
First of all, recognize that this is also a kind of disease. And to be more precise, tyrants are people who received severe psychological trauma in childhood. Perhaps they were bullied by their parents or someone close to them. We will not go deep into details, as there are a lot of reasons. But the fact remains that human consciousness is distorted.
Only a competent specialist can help correct and work out your past. But the trouble is that such people, for the most part, do not recognize their problem. And, of course, they don’t even want to hear anything about the fact that they need help.
For a woman living in such a marriage, there is only one way out - divorce. Usually it is very difficult in the case of tyrants. But continuing to live with aggressive man, the wife exposes the children to exactly the same psychological trauma. Staying with the father, to whom there is nothing but fear, the child will not grow up a healthy and harmonious personality. And the task of the mother is to protect her children from the negative impact.
Ways to get over a breakup
Whatever the reason for the breakup of the family, you need to live on. And psychologists give a lot actionable advice how to ease this difficult period.
- Children are the best incentive. If after the breakup of the marriage, the children stayed with you, then you will not be so lonely. After all, there is someone to live for, where to strive, for whom to be an example. Despite all the tragedy, practice shows that mothers endure the breakup of the union much easier than women who do not have children.
- Analyze the relationship objectively. Try to look at your former relationship. Surely they both made mistakes. Perhaps, indeed, they simply did not agree on the characters. So is it worth killing yourself over it? He's just not your man, let him go in peace. You will definitely meet yours.
- If it is very difficult, visit a psychologist. The soul also needs doctors, just like the body. When the soul is very painful, do not suffer, consult a specialist. This will help you get through the drama of life faster, but it will also allow you to look at things with different eyes. former marriage. good doctor can not only provide significant assistance, but also set you up for new life where everything is ahead and just beginning.
- Be around people more often. Don't get locked up. Communicate more with loved ones, walk, attend events. Do not try to complain about your situation at the same time, this will not make it easier for anyone. Just enjoy the company of friends and people dear to you. Their closeness will make you feel that you are not alone.
- Allow yourself "pleasures". Visit a beauty salon, buy new things, go to a cafe with your friends, do something that gives you joy. Dedicate time to your favorite activities, hobbies, or any other things that can distract you.
- Set new goals. Life is going further and divorce is not the end of existence. No matter how difficult it is, find the strength in yourself to set new goals, plans, do not be afraid to dream. When there is something to strive for, all bad things pass faster.
- Don't hold onto negative emotions. Do not accumulate anger, do not harbor resentment. Painful? Let off steam! Shout, bang your fists on the pillows, break a few plates, in a word, do something that will help your negativity to escape. You will feel relieved.
Happiness is independent and unconditional. It is in everything: in children's smiles, in close people, in small joys, in the blue sky, in a cup of coffee and a ray of light. Joy is everywhere, not just in marriage. And you will be so happy woman as far as you allow yourself to be, regardless of the circumstances. Time, it heals everything.
Divorce - a new life or a bereavement? My history
To this day, I don’t regret a single bit that I once broke up with my husband. Our family fell apart very quickly, we did not even live a year together. But during this time I realized how it should look like, and that it was not possible to achieve this from my ex.
The reason for my divorce lay in his attitude, and later in treason. My husband began to avoid me, did not pay attention to me, constantly brought me to tears and left me. serious conversations. I loved him, I wanted children, and he insisted that he was not ready. I began to wonder why I even got married, just out of desperation? I looked for flaws in myself and constantly justified it.
But soon I found out the reason for his behavior, he told me! Girlfriends told me that they saw him in the company unknown girl. But I didn't pay attention to it. After some time, he began to disappear on business trips or stay late at work. On the phone, I saw his correspondence with a certain Alena and understood everything.
I asked him a question directly, he without any hesitation revealed his secret to me. He said that he would take a walk and maybe calm down, it just takes time, but I still didn’t believe him and didn’t forgive him.
I could not live with such a person, and my husband was not averse to getting a divorce in order to become free and walk further.
Close people do not support your divorce - make them change their minds!
On the very first day, I called my mother, who took my news with irony. She tried to convince me that I invented everything myself, that correspondence is not a reason for divorce. But when she found out that my husband himself confessed to treason, she was very upset. I convinced my mother that while I am young and we do not have children yet, this issue needs to be addressed radically. She supported me and said that this is not the end of my story, and that everything is still ahead.
There were still people close to me who did not quit in difficult times, and for that they thanks a lot. Among them were divorced, and remarried, and even those who, after a divorce, did not find woman's happiness. And I wanted to be the same, cheerful and happy.
Tell your loved ones only the truth, do not exaggerate or underestimate the circumstances. Native people will always understand you and support you in difficult times.
How to survive a divorce from your beloved husband and get yourself out of depression?
No matter how difficult it is, but you need to try. Experiences, fears, resentment - these are the companions that haunt every woman after a divorce. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to think positively.
If there are children, it is better to think about them. If they are not, then great options will be:
- vacation trip planning;
- organizing a meeting with friends;
- watching your favorite movies, comedies are better;
- even just cooking dinner or lunch can help you get distracted.
- many women claim that housework distracted them from problems and quarrels. You can get two benefits from one session.
Leaving your husband everything you have acquired together and leaving yourself is the right way!
change of scenery - the best option forget about problems faster. The apartment where my ex-husband and I lived was his, so I had to move out. I went to my parents: where I spent my childhood. As if by magic - as soon as I arrived, it became much easier for me. home furnishings, memories of a happy childhood made me forget for a while about the problems that haunted me for a year. A parental care and support helped me to fully recover.
Some even leave for another city to completely erase their memories.
Sometimes it hurts so much to see places, to walk those streets where you were happy, or even worse, to see your ex with another woman.
Fitness helped to survive depression after a divorce and transform yourself
They say even simple haircut able to help in this difficult situation. During the marriage, I forgot about myself a little, stopped caring for my hair and face, and tears left a mark on it.
After all this, I was reborn.
It’s just that my thoughts have changed: how I look, whether others will like me, and where to go to show all this. For a while, I forgot about the problems and worries.
Find a hobby - and why not!
My hobby is sports , I often went to the gym, worked hard. This method is well distracting, it is unlikely that while running or lifting the bar you will want to think about the past.
Another indispensable attribute was a punching bag, I splashed out all the negativity on it.
For the rest free time I worked, went to visit friends and had a good time.
“You yourself are to blame for the divorce,” an inner voice tells me. Is that so?
Many women feel guilty about divorce. It so happened that women blame themselves for divorce: if the wife stops liking and satisfying her husband, then the male sex wants freedom and something new. The question is, why then marry? Men require a lot of attention, like little children. And women, like domestic kittens, become quiet and monotonous.
When a man wants something new, and he is unhappy with a woman, then the fault is not only hers. Why not diversify life with your wife, start caring for her, and again become, like many years ago, a couple in love to the point of losing consciousness. Many men believe that their role is only in earning money and procreation, and women will do the rest.
Therefore, there is no one-sided fault of a woman here.
Both husband and wife should equally support their marriage. If you blame only yourself, then until the end of your life you can be left alone, and the former will enjoy life.
This tool is very effective! Getting rid of negativity, hatred and anger is the best way to start a new life. Here it is not necessary to ask for forgiveness from him, you can just let go of the whole past, mentally say thank you for the lesson and enjoy life further.
Remembering your ex-husband, you don’t need to get angry and wish harm, it’s better to remember everything calmly. Over time, you begin to believe that it was just a dream.
Be confident
After the divorce, I thought that this was a stigma, no one needed a divorce. This is the most stupid and erroneous opinion. Now every third divorced. So what happens? Are they all unhappy and live alone? This is the most stupid statement of single, divorced people.
If a person really loves and wants to build relationships, nothing will stop him. Otherwise, it's not the same man.
Belief in yourself and in the fact that the best is yet to come, that there will be a soul mate will help you find female happiness.
Here's what different psychologists said about the reasons for divorce - experts' opinions about marriage
Psychologist Mikhail Khasminsky believes that a person does not have a line between logic and emotions. In marriage and after it, emotions often predominate, for which there may not be an explanation. People swear, shout at each other, not realizing that words hurt more than actions. If a person is vulnerable, he may forever be left alone and not find his soul mate. You need to logically think through your behavior and words, then everything will be much easier.
A scandalous divorce can catch you at the most unexpected moment. It doesn’t matter if the couple lived for many years, and then realized that the marriage had exhausted itself, or people got married quite recently, but found out that they were completely different in cohabitation it makes no sense. Or maybe it happened that one of the spouses, after several years of marriage, met true love?
Whatever it is, divorce is always an ordeal. But it's one thing when you disperse quietly and peacefully, and another - loudly and with a scandal. How to divorce your husband and avoid exhausting showdowns? Let's talk…
Probably, almost every beautiful person secretly hopes for reconciliation with her husband. Especially if people have lived together for many years and have already become family. But for a woman's personal health, it is better if she does not succumb to hesitation and doubt, but takes one, but irrevocable decision. The important thing is to be able to stick to it without retreating.
Of course, you need to voice your intentions - honest! - spouse. It is better to plan the conversation in advance. If you have the strength and desire, write down your speech on paper to give yourself confidence.
It is important to start a conversation right tone- not with threats and reproaches, but for good, as if you still have the same close person who just stumbled a bit and regrets it. Or imagine that you have diplomatic negotiations and speak in such a vein.
You can conduct a conversation according to a certain plan. Here he is:
- The first sentence should make it clear to the spouse that the conversation will be serious and honest. Say you want to talk about your future future.
- Take the floor first. Describe the problem - what exactly do you not like?
- Consider and Provide possible options solutions - get a divorce, just live separately for a while or other versions. Try to speak with reason, without hesitation and clearly, keep a friendly tone. If your spouse is categorically against parting, and you are the opposite, then your main task is to choose the right moment. The outcome of the event depends on what mood the husband will have. Otherwise, without a scandal can not do. Also, don't fall for tricks. With the help of some emotions, you can be manipulated, controlled. Be careful, you know when the faithful are capable of cunning and how they behave, trying to deceive you.
Scandals, manipulation and more
Most men perceive the fact of a divorce initiated by their wife as a shameful humiliation. In addition, after the break, the representatives of the stronger sex experience no less torment than the ladies. Therefore, sometimes they use all means to keep their wife. But know that love is not always behind such passionate zeal. Often - wounded self-esteem. To “treat” him, the spouse must be given a chance to announce the divorce first. If your goal is to get away from a person, allow him to do as he wants. After all, in turn, you will get what you want.
But there is such an option - the guy keeps his wife with the help of insults. When people are offended, then calmly disperse with a person, it will not work. After all, he caused pain and it is necessary, if not to respond in kind, then to restore justice - for sure. Do not fall for such tricks! In addition, satellites, trying to build relationships, like to focus on family values or even blackmail. Don't go out of your way. And if the conversation ends with a scandal every time, don't worry. After a while, the conversation will become quieter and quieter. Let your companion just get used to this thought.
You can deal with scandals and quarrels. For example, there are very good technique. It's called psychological aikido. The point is not to take the insult personally and not respond to it. Just agree with the words of the offender. At first, the partner will be a little discouraged, and then completely lose strength. When not emotional response, there is no energy supply. So there is no point in continuing. This is how you can easily and peacefully reach a compromise.
If the husband is an alcoholic
Alcoholism is considered one of the most terrible diseases. If you live with an alcoholic husband, you endanger the whole family. After all, such a person eventually loses all interest in his wife and children, as well as in the world around him. Drag out with a divorce this case is simply prohibited. When you're around an alcoholic, here's what's in store for you:
- Personality degradation
The only concern for a person becomes the question of where to get a drink. A degrading personality loses its taste for life, does not develop, has no goals, does not take care of itself, and neglects all values. The list goes on…
- Moral pressure
The whole family is in a state of nightmare, hell. The family way of life is turned upside down, because the “center of the Universe” is the person whose mood and state determines the atmosphere in the house.
- Aggression, violence
Being able alcohol intoxication a man behaves inappropriately - screams, humiliates his wife and children, raises his hand against them, breaks everything around.
- Financial difficulties
The well-being and well-being of the family is not in the first place. There are debts, thefts, dismissal from work, etc. The wife's money is also spent on drinks.
- Terrible consequences for children
Kids are involved in scandals, from which their self-esteem falls, and the psyche is disturbed. School performance is poor. Often these children have many complexes. Over time, complexes result in aggression and indiscipline. Or children grow up closed and unsociable.
- wife's codependence
When values shift, a woman begins to blame her husband's alcoholism on herself. It seems to her that if she could inspire and motivate the faithful, he would not drink. So, there is pity, sympathy and indulgence to the alcoholic.
- The risk of becoming addicted
Weak, weak-willed women with low self-esteem can themselves succumb to temptation and become a companion to their chosen one.
Husband drinks. How to proceed?
Psychologist's advice on how to leave painlessly if the husband drinks. Perhaps it will not work here without a scandal. Well, let. the main task- leave immediately. To do this, you need to be aware of a few things.
First, understand that drinking is not your fault. This is the life choice of a person, this is how he decided to cope with problems.
Also, some addicts reach the very bottom, but then rise and find the strength to cope with the disease. Think, perhaps separation will be a good help to your partner.
Make your own care decisions. Do not rely on someone else's opinion. You must justify this act to yourself from all sides. Also, when you decide, don't voice the thought out loud right away. You need to get used to it, check if you feel right. This will take a week or two. And after that, give the satellite a warning. Give an ultimatum - if the family is dear to him, let him go to the clinic and be treated. Just remember: warn once (or twice in last resort). And no threats.
When the decision is made "iron", leave without hesitation. Do not regret, do not doubt, and in no case believe the promises. Alcoholics have a skillful gift of manipulation. But no matter how much they persuade, nothing will change. Behind the words hides only an unwillingness to take responsibility for one's fate, as well as a fear of loneliness.
If you are afraid and do not know how to survive a divorce from your husband, then this fear will not last long. Feeling the taste normal life you will remember the past like horrible dream. Do not regret a single gram and do not think that without you, the helpless chosen one will simply disappear. Think about yourself - won't you be lost? This is a road to nowhere, so instead of feeling sorry for the alcoholic, show pity for yourself and your children. Go away.
A loved one left you, you got divorced. Surviving a divorce from your husband is very difficult, it is not just parting with the person to whom you experienced a feeling of love. Divorce destroys all plans, deprives self-confidence, as well as the ability to trust, because often its cause is betrayal, betrayal. A woman faces a lot of questions, in particular, to agree to a divorce or to make every effort and save the family? Especially when there are children, how in this case not to injure them and bring up harmonious personalities from them. How to cope with the consequences of a divorce, improve your life and set yourself up for a new relationship?
For many women, family breakdown is serious. psychological stress which not everyone can experience. Often after a divorce, a woman falls into deepest depression, which is very difficult to get out of, sometimes it takes a lot of time and the help of a professional psychologist. If a woman (children) remains in the care of a woman and at the same time she is engaged in professional activities, it is simply impossible to ignore the state of stress in which she is. It is necessary to immediately solve the problem, otherwise it threatens the development of serious consequences. Therefore, in given period life, it is advisable to seek the help of a psychologist who will help restore spiritual harmony and normalize personal life.
It just seems that the question of how to survive a divorce from a husband is an insoluble problem. In reality, every woman can cope with this, you just need to gather your strength, want happiness and clearly achieve this, not for a moment despairing and not succumbing to weakness.
We get rid of negative emotions.
At the very beginning, it is important to get rid of all the negativity that has accumulated inside you. No need to hide your emotions, experience pain, resentment and disappointment within yourself. This will only lead to a deterioration in your condition and to the fact that you become isolated in yourself, as a result unpleasant feeling uselessness, which can pretty much spoil you future life. Therefore, do not accumulate emotions and feelings, but splash them out as they arise: cry everything out, scream, beat the dishes, but best of all at home, and not in in public places, alone, in the absence of children (if any), because it is not easy for them either. As a "vest" you can use a very close friend.
In order not to withdraw into yourself, communicate more with your loved ones, relatives and friends, they will help you overcome difficulties. Do not be afraid to seem intrusive, sharing your experiences with them, they will definitely understand and support you, perhaps they will give you good advice.
It is very important to keep yourself busy on the way to overcoming depression after a divorce. It can be a long-forgotten hobby, a new hobby, walking with children (if any), going to the theater, cinema, exhibitions, discos, bowling, dancing, aerobics, swimming in the pool, meeting friends, meeting new people, etc. In a word, try not to be sad and have fun, fill your life with bright events that will distract you from gloomy thoughts about your husband. In addition to having fun, you need to improve your physical activity. Enter into your daily routine morning exercises that will energize you and good mood all day. During the day you can go to the gym.
I note that if you have children, never speak badly about your husband in their presence. After all, in any case, he remains their father, it is very important that good relations be maintained between them. There is no need to prevent their communication or set them against it. At the same time, after a divorce, you do not need to devote your life to children. In the future, you will reproach them for their own personal life that did not take place.
If all of the above does not help, depression does not want to go away, then you should change the situation. If you are working, take a vacation and go on holiday. Children can be left to their mother or other close relatives. New experiences, different surroundings, and other worries will help bring you to your senses. You can go alone, or you can invite friends to keep you company.
Don't dream of revenge.
After the collapse of relations with her husband, I really want to take revenge, somehow annoy him, say a bunch of bad things about him, disgrace him in the eyes of friends. Often this happens reflexively and unconsciously, but in any case, you should not stoop to the level of gossip about your ex-husband. Speaking about the shortcomings of your ex-husband, you thereby expose yourself far from better side, as a result, you are more likely to lose your reputation than he is. Plus, you will add to yourself these experiences and unnecessary troubles, which will only further aggravate your already unimportant condition. In addition, you must agree, because once your relationship with your husband was not so terrible, once in your life with him there were pleasant moments, of which there were quite a few. You just need to remember them and mentally thank them. ex-spouse for delivered happy moments. And then take and just let him go, forgetting all the insults and wishing him well and happiness. Only after getting rid of thoughts about him will you feel real relief.
If there are children who are trying in every possible way to reconcile you with your husband, then they should thoughtfully and calmly explain that this makes no sense, because what was already impossible to return. If you do not get rid of the accumulated resentment and anger in time, they can lead to the development of quite serious problems with heart and gastrointestinal tract, because they are the ones who suffer from constant stress in the first place. Just forgive the once loved one, leaving only positive memories of him in your memory.
Try to understand the reasons for divorce, which can be a lot. Once you understand your mistakes, next time you will not repeat them again. By identifying the causes of failure in family life, you will be ready for new relationships and acquaintances.
Looking for our own way to find peace of mind.
The state after a divorce resembles an illness, only a mental illness. For its treatment, you can use the following methods:
- Try to read esoteric literature (for example, books by authors: Louise Hay, Sergey Lazarev).
- Try to think exclusively in a positive way, influence your own subconscious every day, setting yourself up for a brighter future. This can be done with the help of certain mantras, which should be pronounced while standing in front of a mirror.
- Listen to music if you wish at maximum volume, you can dance and sing to the beat.
- Pamper yourself more often delicious meals(but do not get carried away, otherwise it will affect the figure) and watch your favorite comedies, but not romantic ones.
You do not need to immediately after a divorce rush to search young man, thinking that a new relationship will help to say goodbye to thoughts about the former spouse. This judgment is erroneous. You will begin to think even more about your ex-spouse, constantly comparing your current relationship with the previous one, which will negatively affect the relationship of the present. Short-term novels and light intrigues will not do you good, it takes time to restore peace of mind. Only then can you think about a new relationship.
material difficulties.
It is worth noting that if a woman, being married, was completely dependent on her husband, then after her divorce emotional condition aggravated by material problems that inevitably arise, especially if there are children. It is good if there are parents and a relative who will provide support. And if not? In this situation, you will have to rely only on yourself. There is no time to loosen up. You need to find a job, if necessary, you can even go to retraining courses. You can ask for help from acquaintances and friends, maybe one of them will help with the work.
By the way, this position has many advantages. A woman can rethink some views on many things, realize her real needs and desires. It should be noted that according to statistics, it was after a divorce that women most often achieved success. The presence of children and the need to provide for them and oneself shows a lot of hitherto hidden talents and opportunities in a woman. Once in a difficult situation, women are forced to show extraordinary perseverance and energy, which in the future will lead them to the top of their careers. By the way, in most cases, women are later grateful to their ex-husbands for divorce, because it was he who made it possible to devote himself completely to his career and achieve success.
New life. We think positively.
A woman, after a divorce from her husband, seems to be taking the ground from under her feet, she loses the meaning of her existence. It is important at this moment to rid yourself of emotional attachment To ex-husband because you don't have any more love. If you realize that each of you now has your own path and accept this by letting go of your partner, it will become much easier for you. And then you need to try to imagine the future as you would like to see it and believe in it. After all, now it does not depend on the former spouse. Imagine your future chosen one, how he should be. It's no secret that thoughts are material. Our thoughts and ideas completely create our future. Negative emotions, constant depression in which a person is, provoke the development of negative events, which further lead to depression. Learned vicious circle from which it becomes more and more difficult to escape. Therefore, watch your own thoughts, think less about divorce and how to survive it, and more and more imagine a wonderful, bright and happy future that lies ahead of you.
