What's worse - emotional or physical cheating?
Does spiritual betrayal exist? Certainly! Although, it’s probably not worth dividing betrayal into types: betrayal is betrayal, no matter what its manifestation. It is difficult to determine which betrayal is more painful, stronger, more humiliating...
People for whom physical intimacy causes a greater emotional outburst than spiritual intimacy will have a hard time with the news that their partner is indulging in sexual pleasures on the side.
While people for whom spiritual connection comes first will be very worried about the fact that their soulmate belongs to someone else.
It is not for nothing that it is believed that men experience physical betrayal much more painfully, and often even completely - they cannot forgive this to their chosen one, but a woman can fall into deepest depression because her man cheated on her spiritually.
What exactly is spiritual intimacy? Of course, this is not always platonic love.
Often by this concept we mean general ideas, worldview, habits. So, for example, we can say that each of us has like-minded colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances. However, when we are talking about a man and a woman, and when this spiritual closeness acquires intimate nature(that is, they are discussing exclusively something personal, understandable only to two), these are already very real feelings, moreover, sublime and tender, but devoid of intimate relationships(although it is not difficult to imagine that the absence sexual intimacy in such relationships, most often it’s just a matter of time).
It is not surprising that especially topical issue spiritual betrayal began when the Internet burst into our lives. The World Wide Web has brought together people from different corners the globe and naturally made it easier for people to find like-minded interlocutors.
For example, virtual communication V in social networks helps many people get away from some family troubles or troubles at work. So, word by word, people who are misunderstood or deprived of communication in real life find each other, and not just find each other - they become attached to their souls, fall in love and experience a literally physical need to communicate, even on completely stupid and meaningless topics about “how unique Vancouver is in the fall.” , and “Moscow was covered with snow, and in the morning it was almost night.” And yet, this spiritual communication is devoid of everyday life, and yet it is precisely about this that our bright, sublime feelings are most often broken.
Behind all these pleasant and romantic events for two, there are their families, in which there are misunderstandings, conflicts and, to be honest, the lack of that same spiritual closeness. Otherwise, why would any of the spouses look for a person who can listen on the side?
However, misunderstanding is not the only cause of spiritual betrayal. Often this is prompted by sexual dissatisfaction or lack of novelty in a relationship. At the same time, spouses can treat each other quite respectfully, but monotony forces them to look for new adventures. Moreover, both spouses are often “in search.” Situations when both husband and wife secretly communicate with a person more comfortable for them are not uncommon.
How to protect yourself from such a blow as spiritual betrayal? The answer is both simple and complex at the same time - first of all, do not lock your soul and, of course, do not build blank walls around yourself. Remember that every person strives to go where he is comfortable. And, of course, where you can talk about the weather, discuss a movie, or just say “hi” meaningfully and hear it back Nice words more comfortable than where they constantly point out shortcomings, and are greeted to the core with the disgusting phrase “did you bring the bread?” or “did you buy cigarettes?”, and even worse – indifferent silence...
Yes, spiritual betrayal is a sin. But sin is perhaps worse than physical betrayal, because... all thoughts and good feelings are directed not towards the spouse, but towards another person. This is no longer a family where there is no spiritual connection. Therefore, it is necessary to urgently take measures: end the relationship with another person or honestly explain to your spouse and make a joint decision about further life together.
Who came up with the marriage commandment and when did he do it? Some person is just like us: without angel wings and a halo above his head, he is probably no longer alive. Why are we used to believing words completely? strangers? From ancient times they frightened us with sins: all power comes from God, if you do not obey the king’s father, you will go to hell, if you work on a holiday, you will sin. The marriage commandment is a beautiful word, but if you think about it. Our God is love. But if we fell in love with another person and, out of fear that this is a sin, we strangle and kill this love, then wouldn’t that be a sin? Isn't it God you are strangling within yourself? In my opinion this is wrong, not to love is a real sin. Priests are good at inventing beautiful words to capture the hearts of the flock, this is their job. But you should ask advice not from them, but from your heart. If you fall in love, then love, open your soul before God. Be honest, don't hide, don't lie, be free, don't hide your love.
This question is very interesting and important to me, therefore, I would like to express my opinion. For me, spiritual betrayal is not the same sin as physical, but even more serious. But I think so and I don’t encourage anyone to think the same. For the body is perishable, but the soul is eternal. And it’s very disappointing when you came into contact with your eternal living soul with another of the same kind, and then betrayed it or your soul was betrayed. This is scary. Of course, everyone understands this question in their own way and answers from different positions. But spiritual betrayal is betrayal, lies, deceit, hypocrisy, and not necessarily fornication, fornication is closer to physical betrayal; but spiritual betrayal is much more difficult to survive, because it can be very painful when a spiritually close person whom you let into your soul revealed its most hidden corners, excuse me, suddenly spat at it with some kind of dirty deception, wanting, for example, to get some something material wealth.
From my recent experience, I will say that physical betrayal is easier to forgive than spiritual betrayal, since spiritual betrayal causes damage and pain to the human soul itself!
I don't think it's a sin. After all, a person suffers and suffers from love and cannot realize it, has no right, because he has his soulmate. And the fact that a person does not change physically is a feat. He experiences everything within himself and does not bring grief to others. He's like a victim. Well, if he changes physically, then that’s a different question.
Body and soul must live in harmony with each other. If you are faithful in body, but not in soul, then various depressions, mental illnesses, and binges will arise. There will be no happiness. Therefore, it is better to listen to your soul and leave.
I'll express mine, purely male point vision.
For me, spiritual betrayal is worse than physical betrayal.
If a person has changed his soul, then such a relationship has no prospects and no future.
Why female infidelity Is it more popularly condemned than men's?
A man cheats more often, but cheats mainly physically, while remaining devoted to the woman with his soul.
This is difficult for a woman to understand.
But wise women they forgive, because they know that such a goat loves her, and the next one may be even worse, who knows.
Well, he wagged his tail - you shouldn’t ruin your happiness (if you have it) because of this.
I’m saying this approximately, but in life, of course, anything can happen.
A woman rarely cheats, but if she does, it’s most often with her soul.
That's why it's more difficult to forgive.
Physical betrayal is of course very offensive, but it can be accidental, as they say, the devil beguiled.
I say sincerely, I am ready to forgive physical betrayal of the woman I love if I feel her love and devotion, but of course only once.
Thank God I didn’t have to do this in my life.
And my wife says this: go for a walk wherever you want, I won’t stop you.
She knows that I won’t go anywhere, and after such words, especially a wise woman.
I think that spiritual betrayal is actually worse than physical betrayal. Another point that is even easier to hide is that if you cheat spiritually, then getting the person back will be more difficult than if you cheated physically. For example, after a spiritual betrayal, I immediately left, because I understood that it was not far from the physical one.
The Lord Jesus Christ said - Be perfect, just as your Heavenly Father is perfect.
If in the Bible in the Old Testament there were Ten Commandments that must be fulfilled and the law of Eye for an Eye and Tooth for Tooth, then the Gospel with the Incarnation of our Lord Jesus Christ gives us the Beatitudes Sermon on the Mount Gospel of Matthew and Gospel of John - the words of the Lord - a new Commandment I give it to you - love each other.
That is, the commandments became thinner and broader, including mental sin.
First of all, know that not all thoughts that come into your head are yours. And if you do not enter into negotiations with this idea of cheating on your husband, reject it, fight with it or reject it with the help of the Jesus Prayer, then you are doing the right thing, because you are a Christian, and that means a warrior of Christ, and fought with the spirits of darkness, and Tell the Sacrament of Confession, only briefly without details, this thought before God, the priest is only a witness, so that the Lord will Help you fight temptation. If you have entered into a conversation and your imagination is already describing to you your relationship with another man, then, having come to your senses, prepare for Confession and Communion and run to Church for the Sacrament, repent, the Lord is unusually merciful, He knows how weak man is and He knows that modern people do not know about the deceit and malice of fallen spirits, you will receive remission of sin and at Communion great help and strength to avoid temptation.
This is what we need to do every time we have sinned, no matter that temptation catches us at different moments in our lives and every time with new side- there is the Sacrament of Confession in which every curse and every offense is dissolved.
I think that the physical happens much more often, but it’s easier to hide and it’s easier to forgive, but the mental one can’t be hidden or forgiven, and it’s definitely more terrible, and it can happen even without physical intimacy.
We are godlike beings clothed with flesh. The manifestation of sin in the physical area signifies a living passion in the human spirit. The beginning of sin lies in the realm of the spirit and with further development it can be embodied in action. All the saints monitored the purity of thoughts because sin is born in the soul and in the germ it is easier to cope with it, and when the thought gains strength to defeat it, it already seems very difficult and sometimes even impossible for a person to become obsessed with passion. That is why the Lord said that whoever looks at a woman with lust commits adultery with her in his heart, and he who still hates his brother is a murderer.
Although a person did not betray anyone on a physical level, if he betrayed in his thoughts, then he is a traitor and his conscience will announce this to him.
A family is not a family without spiritual unity. Although in our time there is not spiritual unity in every family. Spiritual betrayal is a much greater sin than it seems, because it is a betrayal of love. And if a person is capable of spiritual betrayal, then he is even more capable of physical betrayal. And what kind of spiritual unity can we talk about in such a family?...
Both partners are to blame for cheating. You can't judge everyone the same. And it also seems to me that any physical betrayal It always starts with the spiritual, we are not so animals that we cannot control our instincts at all.
If in a critical situation a person decides in favor of loyalty, then he is faithful in soul and body, no matter what thoughts were previously wandering in his head. In fact.
In the Bible (in the New Testament) in chapter 5 of the Gospel of Matthew it is written:
So, betrayal in thoughts is the same sin of adultery, just like physical betrayal.
Therefore, you should be very careful when communicating with people of the other sex: both in words and in looks, etc., and also not watch erotic materials, and especially porn.
01.02.2017
“It all started in May last year and lasted almost 6 months. Now I remember and don’t understand how this could happen to me. Marital fidelity It's not an empty phrase for me. I myself was betrayed by my husband, and I thought that I would never do the same to him. My husband is not a believer, so there is a lot of misunderstanding between us. No, we don't quarrel, we just live in different worlds. But one day I met a man on VK. At first we just talked, corresponded, talked about topics that were interesting to him, as well as to me. He encouraged and supported me. And over time, I noticed that I felt something more than just friendship for him. I confessed my feelings to him. He said that it is God who unites us and His will that we be together. I have never felt anything like this for my husband. It seemed to me that we had some kind of unearthly connection with this man. I was so blind that I accepted this relationship as a gift from God. I wrote to him constantly, confessed my love and waited for the meeting. It was like an obsession, and I couldn’t help myself. I prayed to God that He would tear this feeling out of my heart and give me peace. And something inside me whispered that I was falling down. Ultimately, I deleted my page for a week so as not to communicate with this person. Then he accused me of not believing God and ruining everything. But I don’t regret breaking off this connection. I believe that I cheated on my husband, even though nothing happened physically, but for me it is cheating. I feel that God has forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself yet. One plus is that I forgave my husband for his betrayal and was able to understand him.".
It’s amazing, but along with the supportive comments, I saw these two comments, I don’t even know which one is more amazing.
"Or maybe you were in a hurry to remove this person from your life, or maybe this is really your person? And the current Marriage suits you, the movements towards family happiness on both sides?"
“Is cheating on an unbeliever also a sin?”
I hope, of course, that this is trolling, but what if it’s not? This is about the question that when you have God in your soul, you can go very far. And that God is love can be understood like this.
Basically, I read similar stories from fathers: they say, don’t overdo it with spiritual conversations between the sexes, otherwise you won’t fall into fornication for long. At the same time calling this fornication “God’s providence.” That is, scratching your ego by talking about God, while feeling and acting in a completely undivine way. I heard that this happens all the time now - unlike the heroine of the story, not everyone can admit in time that their spiritual, sublime passion and joint soaring towards God is something not of a spiritual nature at all. The “pride-fornication” connection here works just as the fathers wrote.
Married relationships are not an easy topic. But the position in the spirit of “there is no contact with my husband, I’ll go to someone more spiritual, just like me” is a very big temptation.
It is curious that the heroine herself notes that this story made her understand that she is not as exalted as she imagined - and this gave her the opportunity to come to terms with and forgive her husband for betraying her. The reverse connection “humility-love” also worked.
Physical sensations sometimes do not require reinforcement romantic feelings. But feelings can be more unpleasant when you think that he considers someone better than you in all respects. Sometimes this hurts much more than knowing that he gave in to physical attraction.
2. You feel like a third wheel in the relationship.
If he cheated physically, you immediately understand that he did something bad and perhaps you should break up. In a situation of moral betrayal, you turn from the main character of a romantic comedy into a one-dimensional supporting character who is needed to give credibility to the real story.
3. You may feel addicted to him.
Physical betrayal is provable - it either happened or it didn’t. In the case of a moral one, he can prove to you, foaming at the mouth, that there is nothing between him and that girl. And their hours-long walks mean nothing. And at this time you are literally going crazy, counting his comments on her account on social networks.
4. It can take a very long time
Physical cheating is often accidental: spending one night with someone and never repeating it. But feelings can mature for years, and in the end you will think: maybe he never loved you at all?
5. It’s harder to find out about her.
Red flags often indicate physical infidelity: he often quarrels with you, forbids you to post photos together, works late, in a word, a complete set of “cheating” clichés. But it’s difficult to confirm feelings for another person; you can’t forbid him to meet with friends or write on social networks!
6. You can recover for a long time after it
Firstly, this may not be known immediately. Secondly, the realization that a loved one has loved another all this time puts a lot of pressure on the psyche and reduces faith in people in general. You may need more time before you can start a new relationship.
Yes, perhaps at first glance the question is quite banal, but in fact it is very important. IN modern world clear framework adultery erased, and as a result, hearing the word: treason, an image of a bed scene pops up in my head.
If you look up the meaning of the word treason in the dictionary, you can see a rather interesting interpretation: treason is adultery. And adultery is not only physical betrayal, but also moral betrayal. Nowadays, little attention is paid to the moral side of betrayal, and all because moral betrayal is very difficult to identify. If physical betrayal can be seen with your own eyes, then about moral betrayal, you can only guess.
Another rather interesting synonym for the word treason is the word infidelity. This word also has an ambiguous meaning. Although physical betrayal is generally considered infidelity, this word is also directly related to moral betrayal. After all, the root of the word infidelity is -ver-, and its derivative is faith. In other words, the infidelity of a spouse is manifested not only in his actions, but also in his thoughts as well.
So it turns out that betrayal is divided into two types: physical betrayal and moral betrayal. Physical infidelity involves direct intimacy with a person who is not yours. legal spouse or spouse. Moral treason is more broad concept. First of all, these are feelings for another person, but often this phrase also means an ordinary desire to change physically. These two species can exist either together or separately.
The spouse can for a long time imagine how she cheats on her husband, she can flirt with other men, even love another person, but not bring the matter to physical intimacy. Such betrayal is undoubtedly considered moral. Physical infidelity can manifest itself as casual sex with different partners or as constant sex with one partner. The most important thing about such betrayal is that it occurs without any feelings or emotions. However, quite often there is both physical and moral treason simultaneously. For example, married woman falls madly in love with another man, communicates and flirts with him for a long time, and then physical intimacy appears in their relationship.
Attitude towards betrayal different people also quite different. If some people are ready to forgive their spouse for cheating, then others begin to take revenge and also cheat. Quite often you can find cases where a wife, having learned about her husband’s infidelity, immediately files for divorce. It is very important to first simply find out all the nuances in the current situation, and only then draw conclusions. After all, if you look into it, then an accidental physical betrayal can and can be forgiven and a promise can be made from the spouse that it will not happen again. Moral betrayal is another matter, because real emotions are difficult to stop, and even if you promise that you will not fall in love again, it will be quite difficult to keep this promise.
So what is worse: moral or physical betrayal? I want to hear your opinion.
