How to be a wise woman psychologist's advice? How to be wise in relationships

An integral part of a happy family life is love. However, this is not the feeling that filled the spouses before marriage, but the one that was born along with everyday life. Love in marriage is an expression of feelings in deeds and deeds. An important condition for strong family relations is the behavior in the woman's family. It is believed that a truly wise wife should not only listen and hear her husband, but also be able to keep silent, constantly support her husband, try to be an ideal life partner for him. Of course, many women will not agree with this statement. After all, a woman in marriage has to work hard - this is cleaning, and cooking, and the birth and upbringing of children, own work, finally. You can still argue who has more responsibilities. It’s useless to tell a man in the forehead that he really doesn’t do anything - the spouse will always find a reason why he won’t wash the floor or teach lessons with the child. wise wife should act wiser. Of course, female wisdom does not come immediately after the chosen one puts on his finger wedding ring. A reasonable question arises - what should young wives do who have just embarked on the difficult path of marriage? First, you need to try to learn to hear your husband and express your opinion correctly. Men, for the most part, do not understand women's silence, and tantrums and screams make them want to defend themselves. A wise wife expresses her attitude to a particular issue calmly and thoroughly. Only with this approach, it is possible to achieve not only an understanding by the husband of her point of view, but even a change in the opinion of the spouse. A wise wife should strive to anticipate a possible conflict on the basis of a divergence of opinions in advance and prevent it. A wise wife does not "nag" her husband. Everyone knows that with time marital relations begin to bring some kind of fatigue, which can sometimes kill even once strong love. Under no circumstances should this be allowed. For this reason, you should not take dirty linen out of the house, telling girlfriends and colleagues about problems in family life. These stories do not solve the problem and, moreover, can aggravate the situation, because, guided by the advice of friends, the wife can finally destroy what could still be saved. For solutions family conflicts it is required, first, not to lose faith in your spouse. A wise wife always understands that she is not the only one who has to carry the whole burden of problems, since there are two of them in marriage, and a man always gets a certain amount of burden. A wise wife will never refuse to support her husband in any matter, will not poke him at his shortcomings, will not criticize all his actions. It is safe to say that after joining the legal marriage every second woman, to a certain extent, turns a blind eye to any shortcomings of her young spouse. After all, a wise wife understands perfectly well that almost any man can be re-educated, no matter how rude it may sound. However, marriage is a compromise between two people. Therefore, a wise wife also needs to be re-educated, just like her husband. If people do not want to make concessions to each other, then no family happiness it won't come out of it. A wise wife never forgets how she looks. Even though she works, she has two children and is responsible for most of the household chores. Many psychologists of family relations believe that a woman should always be well dressed - that is, no shabby dressing gowns, stretched pants and leaky slippers. Of course, it's easy to say, but hard to do. A wife should always be neat and tidy, cook well and maintain cleanliness and comfort in the house.

They met and fell in love with each other. played magnificent wedding, rested in Honeymoon. Then began a joint family life. Each of them has a great desire to make their loved one the most happy man. But one desire is not enough. It’s not enough just to want, you need to know how to do it. And very often couples fall apart, especially the young, not wiser life experience.
And where to get it? Where can you get the experience of a wise wife if you are only twenty years old and you got married for the first time? But in life people become wise only with age and experience. Some earlier, some later. We must live and analyze our experience, develop in ourselves clear look events and strong character.
Family life is, above all, cooperation. Therefore, a wise woman chooses a suitable life partner who would be ready to cooperate. At the same time, it is not so important for her how handsome, rich and romantic he is, the main thing is that he corresponds to her attitude towards certain relationships. A wise woman knows that in marriage no one owes anyone, because marriage should be based on love and on a deep understanding of goals. life together.

Personal relationships are the most valuable and essential in family life. Every day, every moment, you create your future. Living together is like building a strong building. Every day, event after event, like a brick by a brick, you mortgage this house. As you build it, you will live in such a house. A wise woman knows all this. Every day, with love and great dedication, she puts herself completely into this construction.

Women are creators by nature. A wise wife knows that the weather in the house and the mood of her husband mainly depend on her, and this is where the most important thing begins. Its main tools are love, sincerity, understanding and patience. She, using these tools, explains to her husband that main secret A woman's nature is to love, to be loved, and to develop close relationships. It is in her nature.

There is a very simple and visual way understand how men and women relate to love and building personal relationships. Let's draw two circles, one of which will symbolize the consciousness of a man, and the other the consciousness of a woman. Let's take one tenth of each circle and consider them. A piece taken from the circle of a man's consciousness will symbolize that part of the consciousness that is focused on love and personal relationships. The rest of his circle will be occupied with thoughts about work, about his own plans, about his hobby and so on. But if we look at the circle of consciousness of a woman, then everything is different here. A thin piece is her thoughts about work, about her plans. But the rest of the circle is that part of consciousness that is focused on love, on family life and the development of personal relationships.

A wise wife knows that men and women love differently. And knowing this, she does not wait and does not demand from her husband actions that should correspond precisely women's ideas about love. She knows that her husband is a separate independent personality who lives not for her, but first of all for herself. She lives with her husband on a first date basis. After all, during the first meetings, her husband was an Unknown Man for her, and she respected his interests and did not annoy him with her advice. She respected his plans, secrets, thoughts and his right to independent decision-making. She did not criticize him when he said something to her, she listened. A wise wife knows that the polite treatment that was on the first date must be carried through the rest of her life. She respects her husband as a stranger, because knows that it is impossible to get too close and consider each other their property.

Of course, in a joint life, cases of irritation of spouses with each other are very frequent. But what is irritation? This is a personal problem of the irritated, due to the fact that his expectations do not correspond to reality. So why did he place the wrong expectations on his spouse? And why should a spouse endure irritable speeches, aggression, if he is not to blame for the fact that they were mistaken about him? A wise wife knows that irritation is a sign bad upbringing, knows that irritation is inappropriate anywhere and never. And if it suddenly arose, then it is necessary to deal with it, sincerely looking inside yourself, because no one else is to blame for this.

Summing up all of the above, we can say that a wise wife is loving woman who knows how to love and be loved in marriage.

“You are a woman! Be wiser! - you have probably heard this phrase more than once, and perhaps at times it annoyed you very much. But such is the nature of a woman - she is more sensitive, prone to emotions, more intuitive and empathic compared to a man.

Do not dissolve in your beloved, be independent. Many rush into the arms of their beloved, forgetting about everything in the world, and begin to live his life, but often after a while such a girl becomes uninteresting to her partner, and she feels herself a hostage of the situation, because now her whole life is connected with him, and she is directly sense of the word dependent on him.

To gain wisdom avoid these mistakes and you will avoid many unpleasant situations in a relationship.

If you feel that something is not right in a relationship, calmly talk about it with your loved one. No need to blame him for anything, and of course, in no case do not slide into a scandal. A sincere, calm conversation will help both of you figure out what's going wrong and fix it. Set yourself the goal of solving the problem, and with common efforts, and you will definitely succeed.

The answer to the question “how to be wise in relationships” lies in the plane of honesty and openness. In no case should you use deceit, manipulation and other prohibited tricks.

Firstly, sooner or later this will make your man feel discomfort and anxiety, and secondly, such undercover games are detrimental to relationships. Remember that manipulation implies that your object is only a tool to achieve your goals, and not an equal person. It doesn't sound like a good partnership, does it?

Try to arrange everything so that you are on an equal footing. Defend your independence if you feel that a man is starting to overdo it (he does not necessarily do this out of malice, he could just get used to this principle of relations earlier).

At the same time, in no case do not give in to the temptation to make a henpecked out of him, do not command him and do not point out to him in anything that does not concern the relationship between you. Remember that his life is his life. And if he wanted to connect it with your life - this does not mean at all that he is ready to give it to you at your disposal.

We hope that these simple tips will add their contribution to your well female wisdom.

How to be wise in a relationship with a man

In fact, being wise is not so difficult. There should be in a relationship and the one who is smarter, more cunning, more impulsive, tougher and the one who is softer, more determined, more gentle. These roles are usually divided equally - then true harmony sets in in the relationship.

Still, let's dwell on why you should be smarter and whether you should be wiser at all. love relationships. Of course, a woman should show wisdom and reasonableness. Let's look at exactly those situations in which it is necessary to behave like a woman.

Always keep yourself under control

Self-control and self-control - that's what will set you apart in any stressful situation. Even if your soul mate is not in control, you must become a true center of calm. Do not forget that the main thing in any quarrel is to cool down in time and stop quarreling. Do not let each other say rude things that you will later regret and that you really didn’t mean at all.

Be aware of the shortcomings

And remember not only about the shortcomings of your man. Think you don't have flaws? We are all made up of pros and cons, and never, remember forever, never will the cons outweigh the pros. Be prepared for this.

Don't be too hard on your man, especially if you see him trying to make you happy. This is exactly how you need to be wise in a relationship.

Help take care of things

Look closely and you will see that the man who is next to you is full of worries. So why not help him a little? Organize an unscheduled vacation for the weekend, invite his friends, whatever - do nice man! After all, we always expect pleasant things from them, but so rarely do we respond with pleasant things to their actions.

spend time together

Remember when you last time we didn’t talk about the weather and the purchased products, not about who would pick up the child from school and buy a replacement cassette for the aquafilter - when was the last time you discussed books, films, went out together on Saturday evening? These are not platitudes, these are the very pleasant trifles, without which our life becomes not so full.

You've always wondered why men think they're the boss in a relationship, haven't they? Indeed, in fact, a woman is the center of gravity of any relationship, everything is built on a woman and depends on a woman. So why do men still sincerely believe in patriarchy?

The answer lies in one single word: wisdom. It is the primordial female wisdom that allows a man to dominate, and a woman to feel important and necessary.

Being wise in a relationship is not difficult, the main thing is never raise your voice to your man. A wise wife is a stronghold of dignity and tranquility. Do not think that you look dignified and calm when you are tearing up the room with decibels.

There are a great many other ways to influence your soulmate. Shouting can only anger or irritate. If you want to end the relationship as soon as possible, shout. Shout more, louder, and preferably without much reason.

Being a wise wife is not so difficult, but it cannot be learned in a week. Be calm, attentive and empathetic. And wisdom, like experience, comes with age.

Make concessions, take the first step

Yes, sometimes it is difficult, unjustified and infringes on your pride. Yes, he is to blame, not you, but the wisdom of this relationship is you, not your young man. So be a wise wife: yield, speak up, apologize.

The well-known expression that it is not the one who is wrong who apologizes, but the one who values ​​​​the relationship is true. And, of course, sooner or later your partner wonders why you apologize more often than he does.

And will hurry to correct this wrong. And if you don't want misunderstandings, avoid your man apologizing for nothing. When a man does not realize what he is apologizing for, he sincerely believes that there is no need to ask for forgiveness, and he is not to blame for anything. Consequently, the girl only winds up and attributes non-existent guilt to him.

Don't criticize his parents

Do you want to be a wise wife? Then never. Never. Under no circumstances criticize his parents. And not only because it is a long-established and almost canonical stereotype of family ties. Approach the issue from the other side. Would you like criticism of your parents? Hardly, right?

And this means that your man's parents deserve the same reverence and respect as your own. After all, it was they who raised and raised the man you love and consider your soulmate. And if you want to criticize these people, it means that together with them you criticize your own own choice.

Why should a woman be wise?

Because the relationship mind is your man. The wisdom of relationships is yourself. Mind makes decisions. Makes choices, changes lives. Wisdom controls the mind (don't overdo it!), directs it, reinforces its decisions with its own life experience.

Every woman accumulates her own wisdom with age. Experienced, heard, seen, read. For any of us, this is an absolutely unique set of life competencies.

10 rules of a wise and cunning wife

To be a wise wife, listen. The inability to listen is the problem of the whole generation. Somewhere deep, at the subconscious level, we believe that we have not been heard, that we are not needed and are of no interest to anyone. And we try to speak louder than the interlocutor. It is not right. To speak more quietly, but in such a way that you will be accepted - this is the greatest art;

Respect. A man is your protector, your wall, your breadwinner. Even if it sounds a little wild in today's era digital technologies. If you want to be a wise and cunning wife, respect your man, make sure he feels in charge;

Leave space. A wise woman does not bind to herself - she lets go of the reins and knows how to make her man always return only to her. Do not shake over your betrothed, treat him realistically;

Smile. What else if not good mood and a constant calm smile, will help you instill confidence in yourself and others? A woman who puts herself calmly and balanced, like a real wise wife, causes only admiration. Let your man admire you;

To be a wise wife, justify words with actions. Always try to validate yourself. Well what confident woman will whimper in the corners and cry into his vests? No, this is not about you and me. We are strong, wise, loved and loving lady.

Try to praise your partner for any reason. Thus, you raise his self-esteem, and your man feels respect and support from you. When time will pass, your husband will get used to the fact that everything is fine with him, at this moment you can freely manipulate him.

A wise and cunning wife, in order to get her man to do something, will simply praise him. For example, you can say that you need help, including gifts, and when your man gives and surprises you, respond to these gifts with joy and surprise. Your emotions will stimulate a man to please you all the time;

In the question of how to be cunning and wise in a relationship, there is a second piece of advice - it's also become an economical, and not just a wise and cunning wife. There are husbands who do not trust their wives with the money they earn. And all because they think about all women: "they are spenders and spend everything only on themselves." So, convince your husband of the opposite, and he will begin to trust you and give you money. Because he will think that they will go to the family good;

Do not criticize your man and support him more with understanding. Listen to him, support him in any situations, help morally. Less criticism means more trust in you. This means that your man will trust you more and tell you more information;

Men, feeling that they are supported, begin to consult with the person from whom he receives support and respect. If you want to advise something, then it is better to do it without imposing;

Do not try to humiliate your man with guests in the house. If you want to be a wise and cunning wife, always try to show your acquaintances and friends that your man is the master in your house. So pride will come to him, and you will be able to influence him without quarrels, scandals or conflicts.

And finally, the last and most important. For all these tips, don't forget the most important thing: love your man. Just love and it will come back to you a hundredfold.

Parables and legends are composed about female wisdom. Wisdom is a gift from above, a special power of a woman. Is not innate quality, it will appear only when a woman changes her own outlook on life. A wise woman reaches, creates harmonious relationship and able to carry family values through the years. A wise woman is listened to. She is asked for advice. How to become wise woman?

Wise woman: what is she?

Wise are those people who do not know much, but what is necessary. (E. Safarli)

Being a wise woman is a whole science. However, there are not many secrets. A wise woman has rules for communicating with others and which she does not violate. What are they?

A wise woman is sure that people should be treated with indulgence. This concept includes not only the ability to understand. Condescension is the ability to find positive intentions in people's behavior. A wise woman is able to interpret the shortcomings of others or their mistakes in a positive direction for them. Faith in the people of a wise woman is unshakable. Believing in good intentions, a wise woman helps people become truly kind. She forgets insults, is happy to accept an apology, and herself.
A wise woman is sure that selfishness will lead nowhere. . Only a spiritually mature person is able to subdue his own ego and take into account the interests of other people. A woman, possessing wisdom, shows by her example what a mature relationship is and helps to get rid of selfishness to others.

A wise woman is sure that they will spread about problems in the family and personal life- taboo. Such a woman does not "take out dirty linen in public." She will not call her friends at the slightest and tell in detail what is wrong in the family.
A wise woman creates an atmosphere in the house that will not become an obstacle to development, since each family member will know that they will support, understand and hear him. Such an atmosphere is created through the emotional mood of the woman herself. By creating a favorable environment, a woman helps to develop positive traits and move forward.
A wise woman knows what it is. Whether there will be mutual tact in a relationship depends on the woman. It determines whether faux pas will be considered the norm. If inappropriate jokes, mutual upsets, malicious banter are acceptable for a woman, then a man will consider this normal. It is necessary to reckon with others in small things. Tact is the ability to choose words so as not to offend, not to offend, not to anger, but to help.
A wise woman is sure that politeness is a mandatory point of communication. She will not be rude in lines, make scenes in in public places and blame a random passerby for all mortal sins.

Creating positive relationships with people along the way is important, but no woman will be happy if she does not achieve harmony in her personal life.

How to become wise in a relationship with a man?

Knowing the secrets of female wisdom, even an inexperienced girl can build happy relationship.

A wise woman does not go unnoticed by the strong half of humanity. She feels what men need to feel happy. Many people think that wisdom is the prerogative of old age. However, it is not. You can become wise regardless of age, and here's how to do it:

Treat your man the way you would like him to treat you. personality regardless of social status or security level.
Men need a sense of reciprocity, just like women. It is important for him to feel desired, needed, surrounded by care and loved.
A wise woman is herself. We all want to appear better than we really are. However, the masks sooner or later fall off and people are overtaken by disappointment. To avoid a hasty break when "all the cards will fall on the table", do not hide your character traits and choose a man who will accept you with all the positive and negative qualities.
A wise woman knows that a person becomes successful in life aspects when respect for each other as a person reigns in the family. IN happy couple man and woman cooperate. For a woman, it does not matter whether the chosen one has the beauty of Apollo, whether he is wealthy and whether he knows how to be romantic. For her, the readiness of a life partner to cooperate is important.
Do not provoke quarrels and conflict situations. A wise woman does not fall into hysterics, does not reproach a man and does not give him unequivocal ultimatums. The negative aspects of the relationship are smoothed out by feminine softness and tenderness.

Who among us hates to hear praise? Men, like women, thrive on flattery and words of praise. Praise your husband directly on the forehead, no need to disguise or come up with lyrical phrases. An enthusiastic look and the usual words like “Great! Amazing! Cool!" will be enough. A wise woman highlights in her husband those qualities that she would like to see in him more often.
Every person needs to be needed and loved. Even in moments of an explosive quarrel, do not forget why you love your man.
There is a saying: “when it’s very good, it’s also not good.” Creating harmony in a relationship and pleasing a spouse are not the same thing. A wise woman will not do everything herself to please her husband. She will ask for his help and sometimes "forget" about an unwashed shirt or a three-course meal.

In a relationship, a lot depends on the woman. She is the keeper of the hearth and whether family life will be happy and relationships will be harmonious depends on her wisdom. Learn the wisdom of being a woman daily. Try to become better than you are today and help others in this.

Smart men don't part with wise women. It is easy to create a family with them and maintain a warm happy relationship. A wise wife, through her own actions and statements, maintains comfort and a pleasant atmosphere in the house.

A wise woman always delights. Without pathos and boasting, she finds tricky loopholes in complex life situations, feels people at a glance, and even can give right advice. Moreover, she never imposes this advice on anyone, she is asked for it.

Is it possible to learn to become a wise woman? After all, such insight and intelligence, which these ladies are endowed with, seems to be not so easy to possess. There is something magical, mystical in them. But to be honest, there is no magic in their wisdom, and it is quite possible to learn this. True, not one day.

Do I need to listen to psychologists

It is psychologists who are always considered the smartest healers of human souls. But the theory memorized in the classroom is not always good in practice. And if this "doctor" is too young and has not seen life at all, then he is like a singer who has no hearing.

To understand life, you need to "jump the fifth point over bumps":

Feel for yourself what the betrayal of people close to you is, and endure it steadfastly.

Know what financial need is and try to live "on the air" without support.

Learn to be philosophical about all changes: both troubles and sudden happiness.

Well, why do you need to overcome some kind of need and trouble in order to gain at least a little wisdom? But imagine that fate is a doctor. And now remember the words of Zhenya Lukashin from the film "The Irony of Fate":

Yes, I am a surgeon. I often have to hurt people so that they can live well later.

And if nothing happens in life, then is it really not destined for a young girl who still has her whole life ahead of her to become wise? Of course, you can, and God forbid that all the troubles and troubles pass through your life.

Rules of a Wise Woman

If you are really serious about growing up in everyday life, then you, as the “Our Father”, need to know a few undeniable rules.

Rule #1: Never judge anyone

Gossip is the entertainment of the grandmothers who have gone out of their minds on the bench, and the arrogant attitude towards people and their condemnation is a thrill for stupid losers. In this way they indulge their ego.

You don't know why a shabby homeless man feeds from the garbage heap. Maybe he was expelled by black realtors, his documents were taken away, and all the instances he passed through were “kicked off” by him. That's how he survives.

You don’t know why your right neighbor suddenly began to smell of alcohol, and she frequented the store for alcohol. Maybe her puffy face changed not because of drinking, but because of the tears shed from misfortune.

You don't know why your girlfriend suddenly closed herself off from you and doesn't want to be honest. Perhaps you have already gained a reputation as a gossip among friends and acquaintances, so a friend does not want to share her problem with you.

As for gossip, keep in mind the main thing: they are always "secret to the whole world" and return like a boomerang. Having revealed someone else's secret, you will soon learn a lot about yourself from other people: dirty tales will surely form about you.

For a wise woman, all people are good, even if they are not. She will either remain silent, or will justify even the most bad man. In general, remember this wonderful truth:

Going into someone else's house, be blind, and leaving it - mute.

If you understood the meaning of this phrase, then you caught the first rule for yourself and became a little wiser.

Rule number 2: don't be jealous

In wise women, this feeling is completely “weathered” from the soul. She doesn’t care who bought what from the new products, what the deputy stuffed his belly with and why the neighbors live richly beyond their means.

A wise woman lives for today and enjoys it. Yesterday is already gone, and tomorrow may not be. All these pitfalls and skerries for a rainy day are important only if it is vital for her relatives and she worries about them most of all.

And those who "wasting away over gold" should either be pitied or rejoiced for them. Well, their happiness is this: to wither, and then, acquiring some little thing, to show off. And then again save, wither and brag. And so in a circle. And you are free from this: you do not wither and do not climb out of your skin in a thirst for admiration for you.

Rule number 3: study people and analyze their actions

If you yourself have not yet “jumped ass on the potholes”, then surely one of your close friends and even unfamiliar people did it. But remember rule number 1 - do not judge! Just analyze: why it happened, how a person got out of a difficult situation and what conclusion he made. Other people's mistakes also teach wisdom.

What not to do:

Don't force advice on someone when they don't need it. Such advice is rubbish.

It is not worth "saving" a person if this salvation annoys him. He can hide from you.

Do not interrupt a person when he opens his soul to you. He just wants to "confess" to you.

And further. To develop wisdom in yourself, read good literature and watch old life films. Pulp Fiction and Modern Russian " soap operas"do not fit - there is no soul, one commerce - the rut of each series for the dough. And the old films were literally "born in pain", so the acting in them is on top.

Wisdom in a relationship with a man

Well, now about the most important thing - about love and relationships with a man. Other people's mistakes and their analysis are the same theory, with them you can develop empathy and flexibility of thinking, but intuition is difficult. You can read about all this in the article.

If you are still young enough, and you have a boyfriend with serious intentions to marry, then you just need to become a cunning and wise woman. Wisdom is understandable, it will protect your family from scandals and mistakes. But why be cunning - this is a direct path to deceit and "skeletons in the closet" ?!

No, cunning is first and foremost a compromise. By cunning, you can get some benefit from your betrothed for yourself, and without prejudice to him. And you won't have to strain your vocal cords at all. By the way, men are terribly disliked by women's tantrums and squeals.

For example:

You started cleaning and you force your husband to join the process when he is lying on the couch. Let's start with the fact that it's your whim to start all this. You will definitely not achieve anything by shouting, but by unobtrusive involvement - yes. Read about it in the article. In it you will learn about the psychotype of your couch potato and how to influence it.

You have a desire to meet in a cafe with your girlfriends, but your husband grumbles and is unhappy with your idea. Make a compromise: does your husband love football and does not miss a single match? So arrange a holiday for him with his friends - buy beer, roach, and let them yell in front of the TV. You will definitely be superfluous at this time in the house.

Is a scandal brewing in the family because of the stubbornness of your loved one? Does he not want to compromise? Don't "bull" back. Remember your women's weapons and behave accordingly: cry somewhere, puff up your lips, make your eyebrows look like a house, agreed on feeling unwell. But do not overdo it and do not get used to this method - this is an extreme measure.

Remember that you are the weaker sex, not a rabid and aggressive woman. Women's cunning is mur-mur-mur, not woof-woof-woof. You can read on this topic.

But even here there is a trick: no matter how your spouse is a hero, he also has his own weaknesses and “pain points”. He can fall into childhood and depression, he needs praise, pity, affection and material encouragement - never be stingy with this and do not be selfish. And remember - selfishness poisons wisdom and corrodes it to the last.

Attention is an important component in a relationship

Thanks to attention to your husband and the ability to listen to him, you will quickly develop your intuition. You will learn to accurately understand his facial expressions and gestures, and even by the intonation of his voice, on the phone, you can intuitively feel whether he is lying to you or not.

You will need intuition not only for revelations. If a man is hard on his soul, and he does not want to tell you about it, you will still feel it. So you two can prevent some kind of disaster. This means that your husband will be proud that he has such a wise and reasonable wife who knows how to support her husband in any life situations.