How to find mutual understanding in a relationship with a man. How to find mutual understanding and build relationships, how to understand a loved one

Practical methodology which will help you find mutual language with the people you need and are important to you.

People often ask a psychologist a question, how to build relationships how to resolve a conflict, how to negotiate. And every time a person is asked what the problem is, he talks about the fact that his opponent is doing something wrong. At the same time, everything that he does himself, the person considers right.

In fact, in any conflict situation, in any relationship in general, there are always two sides involved. And if a conflict arises, then the responsibility equally lies on one and the other side. Both you and your opponent can make concessions, somehow change their behavior, and accordingly, in some way find mutual understanding and improve your relationship.

There is an exercise that allows you to look at conflict situation and relations in general with different parties feel and understand the interests of the opponent, look at yourself from the outside, and change your behavior in better side.
This exercise can be performed both sitting and standing. But the best option- take three chairs and place them in such a way that two of them stand opposite each other, and the third - as if from the side.

1. First place will your,
2. Second - your opponent,
3. And the third - bystander.

The position of an outsider

First of all, imagine the situation that is happening between you, and look at it from the side, sitting in the place of the observer. If you can’t perceive the situation unemotionally, you can imagine that everything is happening on the screen of a cinema or TV. I mean, it's just a movie.

Look at how you react and act in a given situation, look at what your opponent is doing. Then think about how to change your behavior, what can be improved, and write down yours on paper.

own position.

Then go to your place and imagine your opponent in front of you, remember the situation, and look at it with your own eyes. You remember all your feelings, emotions, look at your opponent's behavior from your side, and think about how this situation can be improved. Write down your thoughts.

After that, sit down again in the place of the observer and look at the situation from the side, like a movie. Notice what you notice after looking at the situation with your own eyes. Think about what you could improve and write it down.

Opponent position

Then sit on your opponent's chair and try to associate with his interests, with his feelings, sensations. Now you are looking at this whole situation, and at yourself in particular, already through his eyes. Pay attention to how your actions look from his point of view, why he also supports this conflict. Think, on his part, how you can change your behavior, what he can do in order to improve the situation, and write down these answers on paper.

Then sit down again in the chair of an outside observer and observe your situation from the side. See what has changed in this situation, how it can be improved. Analyze everything that the participants in the conflict wrote, create your own recommendations.

Conclusions - Optimal Behavior

This can be done 2-3 times, having been in the role of each of the parties. After that, you will be able to feel your opponent well, his interests, his feelings, emotions. Can be used every time various options behavior. That is, you ask the question what would happen if it were like this, you do the technique and check the result of such a development of events. And in this way you can literally in 20-30 minutes better understand loved one , find the best behavior for a given situation, and then implement it in life.

I will begin with the following statement: "Compassion can heal many more sins than censure, bullying and reproaches." I will even say more that criticism gives rise to sins much more than it heals them. Compassion is one of the many forms of showing love, and it is this quality that we must develop in order to drive criticism out of our hearts and find mutual understanding in our relationships with others. Why people have a desire to criticize, what we show when we criticize other people, may be the reason for the lack of love in people's hearts, how to deal with criticism, how, without criticizing people, change their behavior for the better, and many other issues will be discussed in this article.

Criticism is like a lack of love

Imagine a situation where you, a child school age, bring home a deuce, and on this very day your father has a birthday - everyone walks, drinks and has fun. What is the expected reaction of your father to your school success- he will say that we will not spoil the holiday, it's okay, don't worry, you will fix this deuce. That is, when good mood, and the person is in a happy state, then forgiving a deuce, or some other offense, is not a problem for him. The next day, the child again brings a deuce, and the father has a hangover and the mood is far from festive, I think you guessed how this story will end - the flow of negative words and emotions will simply not be stopped, the child will be called a jerk or someone else, and in additives will also remember yesterday's deuce.

We so often find ourselves in situations where people either show condescension or reproaches for the same things, and we can notice when a person is happy and satisfied, then he clings to this state and many things do not unbalance him, when in humans Bad mood when he has a lack of love in his heart, he looks for someone to blame for his bad mood, tends to criticize and lash out at people. As they say sometimes "Under hot hand hit”, that is, a person is annoyed with something and he wants to throw out this negativity on others, let off steam, so to speak, and at the same time spoil the mood of others, so that they also feel bad.

Often in families one can observe critical stinging statements addressed to loved ones, claims and reproaches of who and what does not do so - the reason for this is the lack of mutual understanding in relationships and the lack of love in the hearts of these people. Love is bestowal, and when a person has nothing to give, when there is emptiness inside him or a dump of insults and claims, then what kind of giving of love can we talk about, only scolding and reproaches will flow from the lips of such a person to other people. When a person is happy, on the positive, then many things cease to irritate him, he can relate to the people around him, give them his affection and care. When there is no love, or it is replaced by selfish understanding - the desire only to demand, and not to give, then happiness in such relationships melts day by day.

Why is a person angry, criticizing - because he is simply unhappy, as they say, can not be bad people but there are people who feel bad, and when we make a person happy, then he becomes a softer, more pleasant and non-quarrelsome companion, friend, husband, wife or anyone else. What does criticism mean - criticism means demanding love from others, it hurts you to see something or hear something that you do not like when the other does not behave the way you would like. The person who complains says that he is in pain and that he is unhappy. But with such behavior, you demand love from loved ones by force, you are not satisfied with what you have, with those who surround you, you do not have peace in your soul.

“One should refrain from any critical, even benevolent, remarks in a conversation: it is easy to offend a person, but it is difficult, if not impossible, to correct him.” Arthur Schopenhauer

No matter how much a person tries to change the world, surrounding things and people, he will not be able to become happy until he understands his inner world. The Man Who Didn't Learn to Build right relationship with himself, will not be able to build right relationships with others unable to reach mutual understanding in a relationship. A person usually thinks that the surrounding people and circumstances are the reasons for his happy life– and most people live in this delusion. Their attempts to change others, caused by a lack of love, in constant reproaches and criticism, with which they believe that they can change something for the better, only more and more heat up the relationship, destroying them in the end.

Most people expect too much from others and when the actual does not agree with the desired, try to be at least not strongly attached to certain things and events. Try to forgive people, let them make mistakes, I understand that this is not easy, but this is what people need, they wait and hope that they will be accepted as they are. A person is ready to change according to your desires only if you do not put pressure on him, if you treat him with care and respect, accept him as he is and leave him.

“Criticism is useless because it makes a person defensive and, as a rule, strives to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it strikes at his pride, hurts his sense of self-importance and causes resentment. Dale Carnegie

But this is not some kind of connivance, no, this is not a disregard - sometimes a person just needs to go through something himself, you don’t just need to go to extremes, that you need to allow everything, try to find a middle ground, because if you look at the life of the majority people - they already live in extremes. For example, in this situation, a person lives in that extreme in which he does not allow other people to make mistakes, constantly pointing out mistakes in a caustic and irritable tone.

“A fool can criticize, condemn and express dissatisfaction. And most fools do. But in order to understand and forgive, it is necessary to master the character and develop self-control. Dale Carnegie

When a person teaches others with his criticism, he is primarily driven by the idea of ​​\u200b\u200bprotecting himself from suffering, and changing the behavior of those around him is only a means to achieve this goal. The one who truly wants to help a person and wants to reach mutual understanding in a relationship does not lash out at people with his criticism, which cuts the heart and relationships of people. It is necessary to stop engaging in self-deception, saying that you only think about others, that this is for their own good. Yes, and when another person does wrong, remember yourself if you had to make mistakes in the same way, what kind of reaction you would like to see, it would be nice for you to listen to everything that you say to another, could you listen to such words. Put yourself in the other person's shoes, as comfortable as you would be.

“Before condemning anyone for something, it is proper for a decent, sincere person to remember if he himself has ever acted in a similar way due to delusion or by the will of adverse circumstances” Ali Ashperoni

Many problems arise from, from ignorance. Put yourself in the place of another person and think about how you would behave, how you would react to this or that critical statement addressed to you. But there is no need to make excuses and say that let another one take my place - this is your life, do not let it out of your hands. You can continue to blame others for your troubles and continue to live in suffering, not having enough love in your heart, or you can start correcting yourself and take the first step towards a happy life. There is nothing surprising in the fact that people begin to close down when they are constantly criticized. I would like you to listen to constant comments on every occasion, where and what you are doing wrong - of course not. And why don’t you yourself then stop sawing loved ones, as if not noticing that as a result of such behavior, open and trusting relationship, others begin to simply be afraid that they are being pushed into deceit and secrecy.

“Here is human nature in action: the guilty blame anyone but themselves” Dale Carnegie

A person who lives in extremes thinks in extremes. You tell a person that you don’t need to react to a person’s criticism in a similar way, and he tells you “What should I do, allow everything and endure something, and become a downtrodden mouse”, although they themselves are in the other extreme - they constantly saw a person in response, never enduring. Why is a person either silent, and endures everything, or reacts similarly, and all because the golden mean is always work on oneself, this is a manifestation of our character and such behavior must be achieved, going towards this step by step, extremes are our weaknesses . A person sometimes simply does not know that it can be somehow different, or simply justifies his wrong behavior by citing other extremes as an example - this is the problem.

A person who is highly dependent on external circumstances will never be truly happy, he will always have a lack of love. Such a person does not control his life, his life is controlled by others. A person is criticized - he criticizes in response, they shout at him - he is in response, when a loved one has a bad mood - then a loved one is on edge, responding evil to evil a person is no better than another. A person must learn self-control, be able to show love when a loved one feels bad, be able to endure when they shout at him, be able to forgive when grievances arise - this is precisely reasonable behavior that fills our lives with happiness.

“You can’t humiliate a person without humiliating yourself with him” Booker Washington

How to find mutual understanding in a relationship

If you want to improve your relationships with loved ones and find mutual understanding in relationships, then do at least something for this. A man can say that I work like a damned man, and a wife can say that I do everything for him, but he does not appreciate it. The fact is that you are pleased when they do this and that to you, and you begin to believe that this is exactly what your partner needs, but the other may regard it differently, maybe he needs something else, and often the problem is not that you are giving little, but that you are giving just not enough. It is necessary to understand what is really necessary for a loved one. Yes, and in family relations one cannot be limited only to material values, spiritual values ​​are also needed, the relationship of a husband and wife who know their duties and fulfill them to each other. Relationships need close friendships, not distant business relationships.

As often happens in relationships where there is no mutual understanding, when the husband believes that a woman can be satisfied with material values ​​alone. And the man, showering her with gifts, does not understand why she is unhappy, thinking, what else does she need from me, and she needs communication, deep relationships, listening in the evenings, care - that's it. The ability not to lose her temper when emotions overwhelm her, the ability to maintain composure during sharp, unpredictable female mood swings, hug her tightly and with love and say that you love her when she grumbles or is offended, even if she does not want to see and hear you. But of course, gifts and compliments are an important addition to the above, but they should not be the basis, the basis should be a warm relationship.

Women, in the absence of mutual understanding in relationships, often say that they are simply exhausted, they do everything, but rarely ask for help, or ask in an edifying tone, and in men the psyche is such that they obey when the girl shows humility, when they are pointed out, they resist. When a woman treats a man down, criticizes and constantly puts pressure on him, he will either become a rag and get drunk, or go berserk and beat you, so men should be asked in a soft, non-persistent tone. Girls often endure and accumulate grievances, not knowing how to splash them out correctly, until one day they pour them out on others, destroying relationships. Or they dissolve in relationships - this is the mistake that many make, forgetting about your desires and needs is as destructive as forgetting about the desires and needs of a loved one.

Love is a certain sacrifice, sacrifice by ideals, some principles, personal time and many others, but this is the sacrifice that ultimately gives incomparable happiness. But remember that as a result of sacrifice, you should never turn into a victim - a person who loses himself. To find mutual understanding in a relationship, you must give in to something. Yes, no doubt, but at the same time, you should not forget about yourself. This inclination of girls to serve other people simply knows no bounds, they live by this, but when they dissolve in relationships, when they forget about themselves, they just break down day after day, remember about yourself, dear ladies, not forgetting that To give something, you need to have something.

A lot of mistakes are made in relationships by both men and women, and the main problems are misunderstanding and ignorance of the needs of your partner, unwillingness to accept the nature of a man or woman. Why do people study for 4 years or more at the university in order to master some professional skills, but at the same time they believe that human relations are the area in which they understand. Human relationships are the most complex mechanism in which there are many nuances, just a little start to study this knowledge and apply it in your life, and you will immediately see changes. In this regard, I recommend reading John Gray's book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" - this book will help answer many life questions by answering the question "How to find mutual understanding in relationships."

We are in the clouds and dreaming, and the working day flies by unnoticed, and even the disgruntled grumbling of the boss cannot spoil our mood. After all, in the evening we are waiting for romantic date!

But time goes on inexorably, people become closer, open up to each other and get to know each other better, and sooner or later any serious relationship approach their critical point. It seems that love has not gone anywhere, but the passion faded a little, affection appeared, and some unpleasant moments began to appear in a loved one. We begin to notice his shortcomings, habits that irritate us, and so on. And in this case, maintaining love is a difficult matter, but necessary if you want your relationship to always be bright, interesting, and not boring and insipid, steadily leading to a break. Usually, according to scientists, such a turning point occurs three years after the beginning of the novel. In three years, any love will exhaust itself, and either love will come to replace it, or the paths of the former lovers will go in different directions.

So what to do if there is no mutual understanding with your loved one? Many psychologists and various specialists in family relations believe that you can revive the relationship with kind words for a loved one. You need to praise your chosen one (darling) more often, praise for all his (her) successes, and say these words quite sincerely, flattery in such a matter is completely inappropriate! Your loved one decided to surprise you and prepared dinner? Even if the dish is burnt and generally cooked incorrectly, it does not matter, because he tried for you! So don't skimp on good words thank him, show him how important it is to you! You will make a person pleasant, and such situations bring lovers together, awaken feelings in them. And if you yourself have the opportunity to somehow please your loved one, make it easier for him to do some household chores, do not miss the chance and show how you love him and take care of him. And do not forget to compliment your loved one, emphasize the femininity of your chosen one and masculine qualities your partner. Make compliments just like that, for no reason, but again, do not forget about sincerity in relationships with your loved one.

Also, in order to maintain mutual understanding, it is very important to bring something new and bright into the relationship, not to succumb to the gray routine. This is especially true for those couples who live together and after a hard day's work return home, squeezed like a lemon. As a rule, in the evening there is no strength left for anything, and for working week people get so tired that they spend the whole weekend aimlessly lying on the couch with the TV remote control in their hands. In this case, it would be nice to gather strength and change the situation. Invite your girlfriend to the cinema or a restaurant, arrange for her romantic evening Don't be lazy and prepare something special for her! You can go to some memorable place for both of you, which will bring back pleasant memories of the past. Often the place where you first met or kissed is very good. Believe me, as soon as you pull yourself together and go somewhere with your loved one, your fatigue will disappear as if by hand! That mischievous feeling of young love will return to you again.

Many people, having passed the “candy-bouquet” period, completely forget that gifts are given not only on New Year and birthday. small and nice gifts always appropriate! Especially selected with soul, with heart, with a sincere desire to surprise a loved one, to cheer him up. Do something nice for your soul mate, give her some nice little thing, and you will see that even such a small and, in general, simple step can significantly revive your relationship with your loved one.

Often, lovers who have been dating and living together for a long time become so used to each other that they have practically no strong desire constantly touching a loved one. More precisely, this desire is there, but it is no longer so pronounced. But everyone is pleased with the gentle touch of a loved one! A gentle relaxing massage is especially pleasant, which is able to give the body a long-awaited rest after a busy day. And it would be great if the lovers did not spare time for fleeting kisses and hugs, because physical contact, as proven by scientists, contributes to rapprochement and mutual understanding! Thus, you can combine business with pleasure.

For mutual understanding with a loved one, oddly enough, it is very important that lovers do not forget about themselves, about their self-esteem and their development. We often give ourselves to love, dedicating everything free time object of our adoration, we completely forget about ourselves and then complain, then they don’t like us, they don’t understand us. But in order to remain interesting, you need to love yourself and do something for yourself! If you have any hobbies, don't give them up, do them, develop your skills, don't miss the chance to get promoted at work. It is very useful to have some hobbies that your partner does not share, and which you can do alone or with like-minded friends.

After all, if you always have some corner of your own, some special atmosphere of your own, you will always be attractive to your partner! But it’s not difficult at all, to constantly remain new and a little unusual. Just do what you love with pleasure, intoxicatingly! Remember that it is simply necessary to go beyond relationships, first of all, in order to maintain a fresh look at relationships with your loved one, and also to pay due attention to your loved one and, of course, how to miss your beloved half.

There are many miracles in the world

Man is the most wonderful of them all.

Sophocles

Relationships are the most important thing in a person's life. Without them, man is nothing.

We are all involved in relationships. In fact, we are all constantly in relationship with everything and everyone.

We are in a reciprocal relationship with ourselves. With my family, with the environment, with our work and with each other.

All our knowledge and experiences about ourselves are perceived by us in connection with our relationships. That is why relationships are so important to a person and so affect his happiness.

A person can know himself only through relationships with other people. For the happiness of a person, certainty is necessary to some extent, i.e. a person must be aware of himself, but without society this cannot be achieved.

A person can only see in himself what he sees in other people. Mutual understanding, harmony, a sense of support, the possibility of self-realization in this world, a sense of one's significance for the world, the desire for activity, the desire to live full life- that's what can make a person happy.

However, all this cannot be achieved alone. Only by being a part of society, relying on the support of other people, you can get closer to this fickle feeling.

On the contrary, a person should think about what he can give, what he can create, what he can make real.

Mutual understanding between people is the key to happiness. This is a closed process, since it is impossible to understand oneself without communicating with other people, but at the same time, how can we know another person without understanding ourselves?

The being of all things is created with the participation of the word. Whatever language you speak, your intentions are expressed through the word.

The word is a force, a powerful ability of a person to express himself and communicate, to achieve mutual understanding in society.

However, the word is the most powerful tool of man. Like a double-edged sword, it can, how amazingly beautiful dream and destroy everything around. One facet is the abuse of the word, which creates real hell.

The other is the accuracy of the word, which creates beauty and love, reaching mutual understanding. Therefore, in order for a person to be happy, it is necessary to strive for impeccability in his words, to try to express his feelings as clearly as possible so as not to hurt others.

However, the importance of language for happiness can also be argued, because often people cannot express in words what they really feel and want to express, words cannot be completely trusted. Will your feelings look artificially framed by words?

When we are talking about such complex and multifaceted concepts as love and fidelity, the language is even less accurate. In addition, behind many linguistic expressions stretch long threads of human complexes.

Sometimes some outwardly completely harmless phrase can cause a whole range of negative emotions in a person. Therefore, if a person wants to find happiness, then he must understand how useless language is in this sense and how important our feelings and true desires are for this.

A person can tell a lie, but his eyes can never lie. Sometimes it's worth looking into a person's eyes and understanding what you can't express even as a great writer.

If a person wants to achieve mutual understanding in society and happiness, then he needs to be balanced, patient, you need to learn to forgive, believe and hope.

A person needs to learn to open up to other people, to be able to listen to a person, to try to help, and not to pour out a stream of their problems on others and not to wait for instant help.

However, the main place in solving the problem of mutual understanding between people is played by the person himself. Therefore, if a person has any problems in communication, then you do not need to blame the whole White light But first of all, you should look into your soul.

Since the attitude to life is the result of our internal state, our attitude and life positions. If a person is ruled by peace and love, so will his attitude to the world around him, to life and to other people.

Inadequate relations with the outside world and essentially despotic relations with other people are the result of internal failures and malfunctions. A person often demands from life and other people that they meet his standards and standards, his idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat is right and what is not.

And when reality is not in harmony with the human idea, then there is a feeling of anger, annoyance, unhappiness and disappointment.

For effective joint activities mere knowledge and understanding of man by man is not enough. Something is needed that would ensure the psychological unity of their interaction. Mutual understanding is just such a factor. For mutual understanding, joint activity is not enough, mutual assistance is needed. In order to achieve mutual understanding between people, it is necessary to create special conditions. Here are the most important ones.

essence of understanding. The presence of many approaches to understanding the phenomenon of mutual understanding is explained by its complexity and versatility, which allows us to simultaneously consider it as a process, as a result, and as a state. Summarizing the existing points of view, we can conclude that mutual understanding should be considered a socio-psychological phenomenon, the essence of which is manifested in:

1. coordination by people of individual understanding of the subject of communication;
2. mutually acceptable bilateral assessment and acceptance of goals, motives and attitudes interaction partners, during which there is closeness or similarity (full or partial) of cognitive, emotional and behavioral responses to acceptable ways for them to achieve the results of joint activities.

At the same time, mutual understanding of people is such a level of their interaction at which they are aware of the content and structure of the partner's current and possible next action, and mutually assist in achieving a common goal.

For mutual understanding, joint activity is not enough, mutual assistance is needed. It excludes its antipode - mutual opposition, with the appearance of which there is a misunderstanding, and then a misunderstanding of man by man.

Sources (causes) of misunderstanding can be:

• lack or distortion of people's perception of each other;
• differences in the structure of the presentation and perception of speech and other signals;
• lack of time for mental processing of received and issued information;
• intentional or accidental distortion of transmitted information;
• inability to correct an error or clarify data;
• lack of a single conceptual apparatus for assessing personal qualities partner, the context of his speech and behavior;
• violation of the rules of interaction in the process of performing a specific task;
• loss or transfer to another goal of joint actions, etc.

To achieve mutual understanding between people, it is necessary to create special conditions. Here are the most important ones.

1. Understanding the speech of the interacting personality. It starts with perception and comprehension of individual words, which are lexical units of speech. More precisely, not even from words, but from phonemes, from the linear sequence of which a speech message unfolds. A phoneme is usually understood as the shortest semantic (phonological) unit of a language. It must be accepted by the partner. Perception, and hence understanding, will occur if a person already has a system psychological signs by which phonemes are perceived and remembered.

Decoding phonemes allows you to reveal the meaning of the entire system of words that expresses a certain thought. After individual sentences are understood, penetration into the meaning of the message as a whole begins. “To understand the whole message,” wrote A. R. Luria, “the perceiver must correlate the sentences with each other, choose those that are of key, leading importance, and formulate the general idea of ​​the statement, and sometimes decipher the motive of the statement, which constitutes its subtext. Knowing the subtext speech is necessary condition"deep reading" of thoughts. It is extracted from the content of the conversation, from the general environment in which the perceived phenomena are interspersed.

In the context of the interaction of two individuals, as a rule, they themselves enter as independent personalities and the situation of their activity (behavior). Decoding signals from these components of the context will create the conditions for achieving mutual understanding between people.

2. Awareness of the emerging qualities of the interacting personality. People differ in beliefs, needs, interests, ideals, feelings, character traits, abilities, etc. These and other qualities a partner often has to evaluate by directly observing the person who interacted with him. This can be done only by studying the actions, deeds, in general, his activities.

In actions and activities, a person manifests himself, that is, reveals his qualities to others. Evaluation of qualities allows you to judge human motives and goals. The latter make it possible to draw a conclusion about what the partner is going for: assistance or opposition. Such a conclusion is necessary to establish mutual understanding between people.

3. Identification of the impact on the personality of the situation of interaction with a partner. Such a situation is understood as objectively developing circumstances and conditions that favor or hinder the interaction of individuals. The situation consists of objects, things, means and tools used by interacting individuals and in whose environment they are. Quantity and quality of furnishings, their placement in space and change in time create specific circumstances of interaction.

The latter often induce people to change their behavior, sometimes even in such a way that its psychological content is lost for outside deeds. S. L. Rubinshtein wrote about it this way: “In Everyday life When communicating with people, we orient ourselves in their behavior, since we, as it were, “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the text thus obtained in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This "reading" proceeds fluently, because in the process of communicating with others, we develop a certain more or less automatically functioning psychological subtext to their behavior. The subtext is extracted from the personal qualities of the individual and the situation of his interaction with a partner. At the same time, communicating people act the more successfully, the more they are prepared in a socio-psychological sense.

4. Development of an agreement and its practical implementation according to the established rules. Formal statement of interacting persons about their consent to understand and act on certain rules commits a lot. They are forced to fulfill their obligations, because the discrepancy between words and deeds indicates a violation of mutual understanding, and this cannot be hidden.

Compliance with the rules in practice, in life is a criterion mutual understanding reached. It will be the higher, the more acceptable the developed agreements are for joint activities. They should not constrain partners. To do this, they must be periodically corrected, that is, coordinate their actions. It is best to do this in a situation of equal status of individuals.

These are the most General terms achieving mutual understanding between people. It arises on the basis and in the course of their interaction. The latter is the root cause of socio-psychological phenomena. Mutual understanding is one of them. It must be studied, comprehended and used to improve the efficiency of joint activities of people.