How to improve relationships with friends and strengthen friendships. Friends and love relationships don't mix
Good afternoon. My story is as old as time, but I really need advice. I have a friend, a good acquaintance, we have been communicating for almost a year. During this time, every time we made attempts to develop the relationship into something more, he held back and repeated that we were friends. Once upon a time it happened to us straight Talk, during which I admitted that I was ready for a family and a serious relationship, so if I meet a worthy person, I will be ready to plan a future with him. I’m 21, I’m finishing university, working and building a career, but this doesn’t stop me, like all women, from wanting love and seriousness from a man. I told him that he is afraid of affection, and every time he repeats that we are friends, I get the impression that this is a simple male excuse. He replied: “No way, but I’m a responsible person and I understand that you can’t just date you for a few years, after a while you’ll want something even more serious, but I can’t give you anything yet. This is what it is.” emotional attachment, the absence of which you blame me for." He is 24, and due to some life circumstances, he had to start everything from scratch, including looking for a job. In general, as I understand it, he wants to look after a woman beautifully, providing her with everything she needs, A financial position he has a problem. We spent time together as friends, he showed all the signs of sympathy, I often noticed that he was jealous of me, and three days ago he came to my house, we talked for a long time, I drank a glass of wine (I wasn’t drunk and gave I’m aware of what I’m doing, given that I drink very rarely), we just sat hugging for a long time, he kept asking if I was okay with him, asked about my past relationships, and then we kissed, and he tried bring the matter to sex, but I stopped and said that I don’t know what he will tell me the next morning after this. To this he said: “But I don’t know what you will tell me, especially since you yourself said that you don’t like to stick to stereotypes and give definitions, because every relationship is individual.” In the end, I still refused intimacy, and he left. For three days now he has not called or appeared online. I don’t know at all whether this means that he is embarrassed and he is also worried, or he just needed sex, and not having received it, the next morning he decided that I would expect something from him, hope, and decided to remain silent. But again, judging by the signs of attention, and considering that he did not just immediately attack me and was sympathetic to my refusal, I still believe that he did not need just one thing. I will be glad to any opinion.
Greetings, dear readers!
In this article we will answer the question of how to build a relationship with a girl. When the first steps to win the heart of the person they like have been completed, young people think about the next, more complex stage of the relationship.
Building a relationship will bring pleasure to both if the lovers are on the same wavelength. Unfortunately, this rarely happens, and difficulties begin almost immediately. If you are sure that you have found the woman of your dreams, do everything possible, and then the impossible, to become the person she loves.
A young man must make a first impression on a young lady; this is the only way to hope for a continuation. But, you shouldn’t go too far and show qualities that are unusual for you. How long can you pretend? If a girl understands that such actions are not really inherent in you, she will, to put it mildly, be disappointed.
Be confident in yourself, every woman is pleased to see a man next to her who will solve all her problems. To do this, you need to get rid of existing complexes and constantly work on yourself. At the same time, remain yourself so as not to end up in a stupid position.
Forget about the cliched phrases that guys use to attract the girls they like. Be original and stand out from the crowd. There is no need to embellish reality. Honesty and sincerity are the main components of a strong relationship with a girl, tell her the truth and nothing but the truth, and soon she will begin to trust you as herself.
Show attention, give flowers, pleasant trifles. From the first days of dating, you should not buy her expensive things. The lady of your heart may think that you are bribing her with such gifts. This will scare her away, and she will switch her attention to a less persistent admirer.
Gradually become a part of her life, show her your good qualities in order to displace all possible competitors. The main thing is not to cross the line where attention and tender feelings turn into obsession.
How to build a relationship with a girl
If you intend to create a strong and serious connection, you need to understand that this is a responsibility. With the advent of a new person, life will change. Strong feeling The feeling you feel for the young lady should provoke you to heroic deeds. A guy should surprise and delight a girl. Trust is the foundation for strong and long term relationship, it is important that the girl trusts you unconditionally.
It happens that friendship turns into true love. This is an excellent transition when young people know almost everything about each other, support each other, and need communication. If there is attraction, there is a good chance that the friendship will develop into something big.
Also look at the book “You will learn how to build relationships correctly and change your life for the better.
1. Working on relationships
There is a category of guys who stop actively showing signs of attention to a girl if she has taken a liking to her. Maintaining love is very important initial stage building relationships, because this period is the most fragile. A woman may feel the coldness coming from you and will simply leave without regrets.
You need to constantly work on relationships, this is the only way to preserve feelings and not lose loved one. Don't let relationships take their course, be interested in their development. The mistake many couples make is that the guy or girl forgets about own interests, they dissolve in their loved ones and want to spend everything free time near.
Every person has the right to a personal life, their own hobbies, and the opportunity to be alone with themselves. When someone enters your personal space without knocking, it causes nothing but irritation. How long will this relationship last? Everyone has their own answer to this question.
2. Conflict situations
Relationships without disagreements and quarrels are impossible. Two people simply cannot be in peace and harmony all the time. That's how we are made. Each person has his own shortcomings, it is important to decide whether you are ready to put up with them?
It is impossible to remake a mature adult personality; you will have to accept her for who she is or let her go and start looking for a suitable soul mate.
Learn to resolve conflicts through negotiations and making compromise decisions. What you absolutely cannot do is remain silent, not respond to phone calls, ignore attempts at reconciliation in every possible way.
After every quarrel, try to hear each other, ask for forgiveness for negative emotions, which splashed out. Be forgiving of the other person's mistakes, because you make mistakes too.
3. Routine is enemy number one in a relationship.
Ordinary life kills even the most strong relationships. To prevent this, work on relationships together, come up with entertainment activities, go to the movies, have romantic evenings.
When a guy and a girl go to new level relationships, absolutely everything changes. They make plans, but at the same time they stop surprising each other with pleasant moments. Many couples think they know each other enough to impress and surprise. This should always be done, no matter how many years you have been together.
See also “Feelings tend to dull, and from time to time spouses need to warm them up with actions and nice words, don't forget to do this.
Tips to help build a serious relationship
- Sex is not best start for building Serious relationships. If you want a girl to like you, don't force things. Be patient, enjoy communication and every stage of the relationship.
- Don’t rush to draw conclusions, a person is multifaceted and will open up only with time, so you shouldn’t rush headlong into the pool and propose marriage after a few weeks of dating. You shouldn't leave a girl after the first date if you have doubts. A second date will help dispel them.
- Stand out from the crowd of fans and the girl will definitely notice it. Later, when you have problems trusting relationship, make them comfortable. The girl will appreciate your efforts and will also take steps towards your happiness together.
We hope these tips will help you find someone who meets your expectations. Show the article to your friends on in social networks, exchange your thoughts on this matter.
And let your personal life It will turn out just as you dream!
Share this article with a friend:What could be more stupid? Compared to this, even the idea doesn't seem so absurd. And yet, according to statistics, more than half were good friends at first, and only then discovered something more.
In fact, falling in love with your best friend (edit: mutual crush) is one of the best things that can happen to you. And we know at least ten reasons why ideal relationship always starts with friendship.
1. You have common memories. Pleasant and not so pleasant, but always surprising and incredible. How that time at the dacha you crawled to your neighbor for strawberries, how you relaxed at the seaside, how he took you home after graduation and how you laughed hysterically at a completely unfunny joke. All this will become part of your common future and will make the relationship even stronger.
2. You will finally find out if he is a good kisser. Just don't lie that you've never thought about it. It is quite obvious that you have thought about this topic more than once (or even twice). We've all been thinking about it, but now you'll have a real and legitimate chance to try it.
3. You know what he's like in a relationship. You gave him advice about girls, took him out on first dates a couple of times, and became the person he could trust after painful separation. So his behavior in relationships, as well as the methods with which he shows his affection, are very familiar to you. And if you're thinking about crossing the line, they seem to suit you just fine.
4. He knows what you like. Most likely, you constantly discuss men and women, so he knows for sure that you value straightforwardness, personal space and evenings spent together. This means that he won’t bombard you with messages if you decide to spend the evening with your girlfriends, he’ll immediately tell you if something doesn’t suit him, and he won’t forget to buy a double portion of pistachios before an important match.
5. You already know his parents. And his friends. And with all the people whose first meeting could theoretically make you nervous. Just think, you won't have to pray that his mom and best friend will like you because his parents already adore you, and best friend...Well, you know everything yourself.
6. You are aware of all his “terrible secrets”. Just like he, by the way, is aware of yours. How many girls did he have, why is he afraid of clowns and cockroaches, where and why does he go every summer for two weeks (the tent camp is to blame, not his cute and lonely female acquaintances). And because of this, your relationship, even if it is now in the friend zone, will be a level higher than that of other couples in the same period.
7. You know how to decipher his passive-aggressive behavior. For example, when dots and capital letters, you understand that he probably has serious problems, and for now it’s better to leave him alone. At the same time, if he looks thoughtfully at the ceiling, but does not start a conversation, you are 99.9% sure that he wants you to wonder what happened. And so on and so forth.
8. Yours social life will hardly change. Because you already spend enough time together. Add to this the fact that you will be spared this painful worry: how to explain to your boyfriend that your best friend is just a friend, and not handsome guy, who is always nearby.
9. You know how to cheer each other up. Finding out ways to calm your new partner down when he's having trouble Bad mood, can take up a lot of your valuable time. IN in this case you skip this step - you've spent years figuring out how to make your best friend laugh, so now you're ready to write the book "1000 and 1 Ways to Make Him Smile."
10. You feel comfortable with each other. This is a guy who has seen you in any state, so now little can surprise him. He went through the best and the worst with you, and then he promised to keep everything a secret (we're talking about the worst) and kept his word. There is only one question left: do you still think that a relationship with best friend- it is a bad idea?
Of course, when a person has many friends and they all love him, this is good, but when there are too many of them, it is easy for close friends to disappear into the general mass of friends. Serious friendship requires from us a sincere, deep relationship, understanding, energy, but human capabilities and time are limited. Therefore, distributing these opportunities “rationally”, he will give more to someone, and less to someone, and someone will be offended. Therefore, it is important to bring true friends closer and weed out untrue ones. What are true friends? True friends of a person are those who, on the one hand, accept every person, that is, not only at a favorable moment, but also at a difficult one, and are ready to help him. On the other hand, true friends are those who help human welfare, which consists of purifying karma and cultivation. Sometimes in a person’s close circle there are people who treat him very well, but carry such a negative and destructive program that it would be better not to have contact with them at all. Friendship is friendship when it is created by a conscious choice, and not just by external circumstances. Therefore, you need to weed out unwanted friends and bring closer the desired ones, manage your relationships. If a person can gather a team of friends and competently and gradually part ways with unnecessary friends, then this person will not only reverse karma, but also become more successful. And he may have a lot of friends. After all, there is a wonderful proverb: “Don’t have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends.” Then great opportunities arise great material for combining. People with a small number of friendships look poorer in the karmic sense.
1. In relationships with friends, be generous, but be able to stand your ground. Remember that all people are imperfect and each of them has their own path. Very often, due to the inability to keep our distance, we succumb to the influence of other people’s currents or we ourselves have a negative influence without knowing it, and this harms both us and our friends.
2. Don't let the elements of benevolent communication drain you. This sometimes happens when close communication. With friends we are open, and it is easier for alien energy structures to invade our field and disrupt its natural course. Excessive care and worry, which attract unnecessary energies, are especially harmful. Friendly communication can not only help, but also slow down and even destroy our personality. As one song sang: “Friends will come to save me, they will come to destroy me.” Maintain a sense of the difference between your personalities and the desire for favorable contact - this will make communication more interesting.
Relationships with friends are an integral part of a person’s life, which makes our days brighter, warmer and more interesting. Friends can be closer and dearer than blood relatives. But it often happens that in life people lose touch with friends, various reasons. Moving to another city can provoke a weakening of friendships. Quarrels, differences of opinion, busyness, and much more can ruin a friendship. What to do in this case? No need to despair if you couldn’t save or restore a good relationship with old friends, you can try to connect with new ones. How to do it? Read below for 10 tips that will help you build healthy and strong friendly relations.
1. Be sincere.
If you have met people and want to get closer to them and make friends, you need to make it a rule to always be sincere. Open and sincere people attract others, attract and captivate with their lack of guile, simplicity and ease of communication. No one will ever expect a trick from such a person, so those around him are not afraid to open up to him. Sincerity will help not only build friendly relationships, but also better understand the people around us, because seeing our openness, people will open up in return.
2. Be proactive.
In one wise book called “The Bible,” a simple but relevant phrase is written to this day. “He who wants to have friends must be friendly himself.” If you want people to make contact easily, start taking the initiative. Take the first steps, and don't wait for someone to come up and talk first, or invite you to a party. By taking the initiative, you have a better chance of finding loyal and cheerful friends than if you waited for them to take the first steps.
3. Don't be intrusive.
Taking the initiative to build friendships is very important, but it is also important to maintain a balance and try not to be too intrusive. At the stage of acquaintance and rapprochement, many may not be ready for the rapid development of relationships, and frequent calls and invitations may seem intrusive to people. Be vigilant, and you will be able to feel when it is better not to remind yourself once again, and when you can get closer.
4. Be open to communication.
In building new friendships, it is important to be proactive, but it often happens that the people we choose reciprocate and are also not against meeting more often, communicating more and spending time together. In this case, you need to try to be as open as possible. If every attempt to invite you to a movie, coffee or a picnic ends in refusal, even for good reasons, the person will simply lose interest and will not make further efforts to establish a friendly connection.
5. Be involved.
Friends are not only partners in a pleasant pastime. This is a reliable support and support for each other. With friends we can share sorrows and joys, discuss exciting questions, ask them for advice. Sometimes friends may need our help, and we should help whenever possible. Friendship is a relationship in which partners can at least partially count on each other's help. Therefore, if you want to strengthen your friendship or build new connections, you need to be prepared for the fact that at times you need to be sympathetic to the problems and difficulties of the people around you. Be involved, encourage, help with advice, and this can bring you closer together than hundreds of hours in a cafe over a cup of tea. No wonder the ancient proverb says that friends are recognized in trouble.
6. Find time.
The modern pace of life is so fast that people often do not have time to devote much time to maintaining friendly relationships. Hence the epidemic of loneliness, which especially affected residents of large cities. But just as a fire is kept alive by throwing wood on it, friendships need time to be invested in them. Learn to manage your time in such a way that no area of your life suffers due to lack of time. If you manage your time wisely, you can manage everything.
7. Take your time.
Everything has its time, and if you give the relationship the opportunity to develop naturally without speeding things up, they will be much stronger and healthier. It often happens that people become close too quickly, set common goals, spend a lot of time together, and then burn out in an instant. It’s good if such a hasty relationship simply falls apart, and over time the pain and disappointment will pass. But practice shows that such connections more often end in explosive conflicts.
8. Don't give up development.
Meeting with friends, communication, mutual assistance and just joint entertainment- we need all this to feel the fullness of life, feel happy and be filled with impressions. But you don’t need to do all this to the detriment of your own development. Life does not stand still, and neither do your friends, and in order to always be able to carry on a conversation, you need to develop in different directions.
9. Find common ground.
Even though close friends often have similar beliefs, they still remain different personalities with their own characteristics. To build lasting friendships, you need to learn to look for things on which you have the same or similar views, and avoid those points in which you have differences. It strengthens relationships and brings people closer together.
10. Be patient.
Appreciating and respecting your friend is important. Patience often comes to the rescue in this case. After all, each of us has our own characteristics that may not be liked or may seem unacceptable to other people. But when we are more tolerant of the shortcomings or characteristics of other people, they reciprocate our feelings. If you constantly criticize or express your value judgment, you can lose all your friends.