Girlfriend betrayed what to do. What to do if a friend betrayed

How do friends betray? The types and methods of betrayal do not differ in variety. They take your boyfriend away. They give away your secrets. Stop talking to you visible reasons and find a new "best" friend. All sorts of cute chips like “unfriending” or “disliking” on the social network are just a visualization of the main fact. The emotions of the injured party also cannot be called diverse (although it seems to you that no one has ever suffered like this!). You go through all the stages of grief: pain, denial, anger, acceptance. loves his readers and reminds: getting stuck on one of early stages dangerous.

So let's discuss constructive ways to get out of a situation where you have become a victim of betrayal.

Girlfriend betrayed: "She seduced my husband"

Why do they need it? Seduce your husband? Break a couple? Because of self-doubt. From envy, which was carefully hidden. And also to get recognition and approval. Not yours, so your man. Which also needs recognition and approval.

How it was? What did she say to him? Approximately the following. “Why are you so sad today, dear husband of my best friend? I'm so happy that she introduced us. Because now I know you so well, I can easily feel your mood. What can I do for you? I care about you, you understand? You are such an extraordinary person, I really admire you. You deserve a medal for loving my best friend, because it's not always easy with her, right? In general, "even in the heart a flatterer will always find a corner."

Husbands and boyfriends follow suit and also become traitors when discussing your personal differences with "unprofessional third parties" - family friends. They pretend to need advice when in fact they seek recognition in the form of sympathy, praise, support and love. “I really don’t know how to properly communicate with my wife, because, from her point of view, I’m doing everything wrong ...”

The best friend, the unsolicited adviser who is trying to seduce your husband, needs to be recognized as soon as possible. Open the cards by asking her to respect your marriage. And in order to maintain a relationship with your husband, give him the recognition and approval that he needs.

Girlfriend betrayed: how not to lose her

If you find yourself in a situation where your girlfriend betrayed you, follow these steps.

• Try to be objective. Consider if this was a misunderstanding. Maybe your friend really did something wrong, but she has a convincing explanation? When talking with friends, you can easily catch them emotional condition, positive or negative. If it becomes obvious that you are jumping to conclusions, make peace.
• Take your time. Perhaps the situation is not as bad as you think. Let emotions cool down.
• Be willing to forgive despite your anger. Perhaps she is already very sorry about her act. Forgive her for your own sake so you don't get stuck in the anger stage that is devastating to your health. Do not hide resentment and disappointment from her, just leave the pain and anger behind.
• Consider whether you want to continue to support with this person. Public opinion tends to be that a friend who betrayed once will do it again. But it also depends on the situation and the person. If you find that you no longer want to be friends with this person, cut all ties. Follow the previous recommendations and it will be much easier to do. After all, a friend already knows that you are upset, that you have thought it all over and that your decision is objective. If you find yourself wanting to keep your friendship, make sure your friend understands how you feel. She understands what she did was wrong. But that you forgave her and want to remain friends. Even if she showed no open remorse.
• Try to relax and be alone for a while. Idle walks, reading, shopping, dancing - do what gives you pleasure. The decision on what you need to do next will come by itself.
• Think about how "she" feels. If she's about as upset as you are, you might want to talk to her. It really helps. You never know what's going on in her soul right now, so just ask. It's always good to look at a situation from a different perspective.

It's hard to make friends, and even harder to trust them. It is very difficult to find a person who truly loves you and cares about you. Ideally, a friend is someone who offers love and respect and will never leave or betray you. If you are unlucky, try to get out of this situation with minimal losses for your mental and physical health.

And here we have prepared even more interesting materials for you!

There is hardly a person who has never experienced a feeling of betrayal, unless it is a baby. We face betrayal from childhood, when our best friends or friends begin to communicate with others, stop noticing us, and do not put our interests in a penny.

Then betrayal begins with any person, he cheated or spoke badly about us ... At work, it’s just a “setup”, when they smile sweetly in the eyes, say flattering words, and spread rumors behind your back and do everything to ruin your career, and this only because they live on envy alone. Of course, it is said here in general, because someone has only a trifle from everything that has been said, and for someone, life is a complete betrayal.

One biggest disappointment is that she betrayed best friend, how to be in such a situation, many do not know ... After all, this was the person who could help solve all the difficulties.

She found a replacement for you

It all starts corny when a third person comes into your circle. You begin to notice that She laughs more at the jokes of that third one; pays more attention and trepidation not to you; and then, to the proposals to go to rest together, She says excuses that are incomprehensible to you, and you see her in the distance happily walking with a homemaker. (This is 100% a situation from everyone's life).

If a friend begins to say ridiculous excuses without any sincerity, then you must understand that your friendship is over ... Do not waste your life on hatred and revenge, for some reason it happens that only you will feel it, slowly killing yourself from the inside, no one cares No. Of course, it is difficult to find another good friend, and we cannot always name any one. Appreciate sincerity and help, do not chase success and stardom, because the latter will not listen to your problems. Do not rush to let anyone into your soul so as not to get burned again, but also scare away your friends, you may be lucky enough to find among them faithful and decent ones.

Betrayal by boyfriend and best friend

Look them in the eyes, find notes of guilt and sincere regret. Maybe they stumbled, and now hate themselves? Then think about the situation and make the right decision. Sometimes we do stupid things that we regret all our lives, so it can be with them.

BUT! If they have each other a good relationship then just cut them out of your life. They do not deserve to be near you, because they could warn about the end of the relationship BEFORE committing treason. There are two of them, and you are alone, you won’t get the truth to convince everyone else of how vile they are. Do not be afraid, boldly express everything that you think, you should not regret what was said, in the end, you have the right. Having splashed out emotions, you will not regret that they were not told everything that you think in time. And let them live with a sense of guilt before you.

When the soul is bad, then other people's problems help to abstract from this. We recommend watching the program dedicated to betrayal.

Video: how to live after betrayal

Behind the back said nasty things

This is a low blow. When you tell the most secret, intimate ... And you are in the dirt! This is "not a friend", such cannot be called the best. Know that fate does not just throw people out of life, probably this place should be taken by that acquaintance who is glad to spend time with you, he is interested in you! At first you will miss Her and your gatherings, but over time you will have others, perhaps even better.

In general, if you were so hurt by the betrayal of your best friend - what to do, I will tell you. Let it be not very correct, but She deserves it! Tell her straight, everything, everything that you think:

“I know everything about your gossip and meanness, I am amazed. How could you do that, because we have been friends with you since childhood and I have never done this to you ... How dare you call yourself my friend and smile so sweetly? You think I still love you... but you're wrong. Love and respect have given way to hatred for you. If I say nasty things behind your back, will you be happy? I feel so sorry for the person who will love you and be with you together. Because I know what a traitor you are and inside you are rotten. I don't want to waste my feelings on you anymore, I hope we never meet again."

Honestly, similar words found on one of the forums. I was so struck by how many emotions and resentment this girl has from her friend's betrayal. But they reflect all the pain and feelings that every second person experiences while reading this article.

How much good and good binds you. How often does she appear the best assistant and adviser. But this is not always the case. Sometimes there are problems between you that are difficult to resolve. What to do in such cases? Perhaps the tips in this article will help you find a way out of difficult situations.

Sometimes a friendship lasts a lifetime, and sometimes it ends. And vice versa, when friends part, and it seems that this is forever, their friendship continues, as if nothing had happened. Therefore, let me ask you this question: if you really have a lot in common, mutual understanding reigns between you and you are interested in being together, then what difference does it make that men first of all pay attention to her? Why do you care? Yes, she may be more flirtatious in public than you, but you don't have to compete with her. Why should you do this? There is no doubt that your personality is not at all like hers, and while some men are attracted (or repelled) by the traits that your girlfriend has, others will certainly be attracted to your qualities. On the other hand, you may be in real trouble if she constantly puts you down in front of men, dominating the conversation and preventing you from having your say, if she constantly boasts and competes with you, even when you are alone. There can be two options here: either you yourself allow yourself to be drawn into competitions you don’t need (in this case, it’s up to you whether to continue competing with her or just leave the game), or she is actually an attention-hungry bitch. In that case, why do you need it? If you think that all of the above does not apply to her, try answering one more important question: Isn't it from the moment you began to consider her as a rival, how did you notice that your boyfriend began to look at her? If so, perhaps the problem lies not in the girlfriend at all, but in the wandering gaze of your companion? Think about it.

Both options are extremes, and you need to look for a middle ground. No doubt what happened has hurt and upset you a lot and of course affected your friendship. However, ask yourself a question: maybe your friend did not understand that she was giving away other people's secrets by telling your friends about it? Or, trusting her with your secret, you simply assumed that it should remain between you, but there was no non-disclosure agreement? If you are sure that she deliberately betrayed you, there are several ways to resolve this problem.

Do you think people are able to take a hint when they overstep the bounds? It can be advised to answer her questions like this: “I don’t remember.” In the case of the house, such an answer, of course, would sound implausible. However, you can always tell her, “Why do you ask? Why are you so interested in this?” If that doesn't stop her, say something like this: You know, I'm really glad we could afford it. But, frankly, we do not discuss our purchases, and I would not like to expand on this. And point. No apologies. If she continues to be persistently curious, consider moving her away from you to a safe distance.

You need to get rid of her immediately! She is not your friend, but your enemy, and if she could, she would take your boyfriend away from you in one second. Your girlfriend is trying to take over your territory: charm his mother, brother, his friend. She sets up networks everywhere and only waits for the right moment to destroy your relationship. Be cold towards her. Don't answer her phone calls or quickly hang up, referring to employment, stop meeting with her, change all the plans that you have outlined together. Do not explain to her the reason for your coldness, tell her that you are busy. If she insists, just be quiet. Tell your boyfriend that you don't want to see this girl again, but wait until the moment is right to make it sound natural. Tell him that she's scaring you, that she's acting a little strange, but don't go into too much detail. If he insists on an explanation, say something like this: I don't want to talk bad about her, you know, I used to like her, but her behavior in Lately offends and frightens me." Tell him that intuitively you feel something is not good, but you cannot explain it in words. Close the conversation by saying something like this: “Well, nothing, sometimes friendship just fades away by itself.”

The betrayal of a friend, and like any other betrayal, is very difficult to survive. And the fact is that the person turned out to be completely different from what you thought him to be, but a coward or scoundrel, but the fact that the person who survived the betrayal loved one, it is very difficult to cope with one's own resentment and hatred in this case To close friend. So, in order to survive betrayal, you need to learn to value your nerves and your health, and throw the offender out of your life forever. But it doesn't always work out that way...

It is very interesting that advice about betrayal different countries and religions are very different. Well, for example, among our ancestors, and among you and me, there is a proverb that says: "If a person betrayed once, he will definitely betray the second." According to this proverb, you and I should never forgive our offenders, even if they ask our forgiveness on their knees and swear that they have realized their mistake.

It turns out that your girlfriend does not deserve your forgiveness. More precisely, forgiveness - then, of course, she deserves, you won’t carry the weight of resentment on your shoulders for the rest of your life, but you shouldn’t let her into your life again, trust her and consider her your friend, naturally. So, no matter how rude and selfish it may sound, if your girlfriend betrayed you, consider that you no longer have a girlfriend, regardless of what exactly she did.

On the contrary, very interesting wisdom exists in the Arab countries. Arab sages are sure that "if a person committed one betrayal, then he may not commit the second, but if he committed the second, then he will definitely commit the third."

It turns out interesting, doesn't it? It turns out that the wise men are sure that any person deserves forgiveness, as well as a second chance. And in this decision they are very generous and benevolent, but if you look logically and from the point of view of your own dignity, how can you let into your life and again trust the person who betrayed you?

So, you have just learned two sides of the same problem, and how exactly you should proceed, of course, is up to you. The only thing you have to do is to be sure to forgive your girlfriend, as the severity of the offense is too great. Forgive her, but trusting her again or not trusting her is already a personal matter for everyone.

Are you worried about your girlfriend? In vain!

It goes without saying that you are very worried about this, and it is understandable, because you were betrayed by the person with whom you have been together for many years, and maybe not many years, but what great ones! That's just in order to survive her betrayal, you need to look at this situation, discarding emotions and feelings. So, let's look at this situation from the standpoint of personal and social psychology.

So, do you know that friendship, in general, and female friendship, in particular, does not occur. Yes Yes. Did you think this girl was your friend? Friendship does not exist - there are mutually beneficial mutual conditions for the interaction of two or more people. And when one of the participants in this interaction no longer needs this relationship, and betrayals, disagreements and quarrels occur.

So, basically, you shouldn't get upset and worried for the simple reason that she wasn't your friend, you were just brought together. common interests, general leisure, and, possibly, work, but nothing more. So, you have not lost a close and reliable person, as you initially assumed, just one of the members broke away from your “habitat and existence”, and there is nothing to worry about.

It's time to remember old acquaintances and find new ones.

Believe it or not, but experts in the field of bioenergetics are sure that if a person leaves your life voluntarily (and betrayal is, in fact, voluntary leaving), then he does this only in order to free a place for someone or something better. So, the betrayal of a girlfriend is a great kick to remember old acquaintances and make new ones.

In addition, communication and new acquaintances are great way therapy against depression, worries and nervous disorders, as newer emotions will help you - forget old grievances, and this is a fact.

Get ready for the fact that you will want to self-flagellate, that is, you will begin to reproach yourself that it is you who are to blame for everything, you were a bad friend, since she decided to betray, you are now left alone - alone. Throw these thoughts out of your head immediately, since no one is immune from betrayal: neither good friends, nor bad.

Keep no evil

I would like to say again that you should not hold a grudge against your ex girlfriend and be sure to forgive her. The fact is that if you forgive her with all your heart and let her go with a smile from your life, all the evil that she wanted to inflict on you will not touch you, but will fall upon her with double force. But, if you hatch a plan of revenge and hate her in your soul, it turns out that she will win this battle and achieve her goal. So, no need to take revenge, forgive her, and fate will put everything in its place. Believe me, everything is visible from above.

And finally, I would like to give you last tip: smile and thank fate for the fact that such a person has finally left your life. What do you now understand how unreliable it is and, in general, you do not need it. Imagine how hurtful it would be if you became even more attached to her, and she betrayed you much later and much more. So, say “thank you” for the fact that fate saved you and let you know as soon as possible that this friend is a traitor. Smile and open the door of your heart to new friends, girlfriends and positive emotions!

The wounds that enemies can inflict on us are incomparable to those that we receive from the people closest to us.

The betrayal of girlfriends destroys and oppresses, it undermines the system and brings resentment, rage and a thirst for revenge into a cozy world. But you can survive it and come out of the situation as a winner!

Why did she betray?

Sometimes completely ordinary motives, not insidious and not selfish, are pushed to betrayal. Friendship is friendship, and strong love, famous for the thoughtless release of hormones of joy, happiness and general stupefaction, sometimes leads to sad consequences.

A common form of friendly betrayal is the love union of your comrade-in-arms and your own boyfriend (secret, temporary or permanent). This should not be forgiven, but it is still possible to understand, even after years.

She just gave up, succumbed to attraction and could not cope with feelings for your boyfriend / husband / lover, meeting with him daily in common companies.

Remember the song "I asked the ash tree." How often does it turn out that a single and devoted friend takes his beloved away and makes her his wife? It is painful and unfair, but, unfortunately, ordinary.

Even more often, betrayal is committed by accident, without intent at all and solely because of the properties of ladies' talkativeness. Here is a typical situation that happened to my close friend:

“The modest and decent girl Sveta had a charming blond groom, a 6-month pregnancy and a small problem.

Exactly six months ago, for the first time, one-time and accidentally cheated on her beloved with another man, the owner of oriental appearance and fiery temperament.

Fed up with thoughts of who the father is and suddenly everything will come up, she told her best friend her sorrows in the strictest confidence. She supported, cried, and then shook this big secret to another girlfriend, deciding that since they did not know each other, the story would not come up.

She, in turn, shared a juicy detail with a colleague. As a result, through the fifth or sixth mouth, this news reached the future husband and father.

The wedding, however, still took place - the test was in favor of the blond, and the story was written off as "envious gossip." But the best friends haven't talked since then."

Was there a betrayal?

Or are you just fooling yourself? Suspicious persons know how to collect a heap of gossip and speculation and draw a conclusion from scratch.

Someone envious or just stupid whispers to you that your best friend is spreading gossip about you, telling everyone about your intimate secrets, complexes and problems ... And now you are already crying, drinking wine and erasing her number from your phone.

Before you shoot off your shoulder, talk to your friend herself or look for other witnesses.

Perhaps she did not say anything to anyone at all, or she accidentally shook it under the influence of alcohol. Maybe she herself feels guilty?

If a friend betrayed with malicious intent and enjoyed it, then it will be completely unproductive to give her an extra reason for joy. Just cross her out of life and put an end to it.

Emotions that betrayal entails best friend are destructive to you. Anger, resentment, rage, desire for revenge, depression and breakdown... All this will not bring you happiness or peace, only a pile of health problems and a shattered psyche.

Be above this: stock up on valerian, eat sweets, mourn moderately, communicate with faithful comrades ... And then let go and forget.

Often people who feel the pain of betrayal begin to experience trust issues.

They do not get close to friends as closely as before, make new acquaintances less often, listen with caution to compliments and heartfelt confessions.

It is not surprising that they "blow on the water" and are waiting for a catch from any side.

However, such a life is much inferior in quality and is inferior: confidential communication with friends and close relations in society - the key to a comfortable and pleasant life, especially for women.

Try to rethink the situation. The betrayal of a friend (especially the best one) is a gift from above.

Just imagine that this person with a double bottom (in a word, "radish"), was nearby all these years, listened to your secrets and was considered the closest ally!

And only the situation that made her betray you, exposed the true qualities of a girlfriend and brought her into the light of day.

If you had not now learned about the lies she hid, about the shameful deeds and setups, how much more trouble could she bring you? You don't have to worry about such a loss! You have just shed unnecessary ballast and are now moving light.

After all, the world is not a bag of nuts. Yes, if you bought a kilo of hazelnuts and the first two turned out to be rotten, probably all the rest will be the same.

But people are different for people, and “spoiled goods” (traitors, liars, flatterers, traitors) come across not so often. Just give the rest a chance and they will surprise you!