If a man says that he is jealous. Male reaction to female jealousy. Do you love a man or his jealousy

All men are jealous. There is no representative of the stronger sex who is not familiar with this feeling. Some react violently, others diligently hide what they consider shameful and unworthy. But you can safely challenge the assertion of a woman who proves that it is her husband who is free from this vice. A man is not jealous in only two cases: either you do not give the slightest reason for jealousy, or he is indifferent to the fate of your relationship. So, excluding both situations, we have a problem that exists a priori, and it remains only to conduct a qualitative analysis, or, more precisely, to find out

How do men get jealous?

Sometimes you can find assurances that a small fraction of jealousy has a beneficial effect on relationships - but here they are based solely on the female vision of the situation. Every flirtation with a colleague, mysterious call, and suspicious activity on the Internet knocks one stone out of the foundation. male love and trust in you. And when there are too many pebbles, the relationship will simply collapse: men do not know how to heal the wounds inflicted by jealousy even many years ago.

What are the causes of the disease?

Jealousy has nothing to do with love. One could even say that these feelings are mutually exclusive. Jealousy is a pure manifestation of fear: the fear of being alone, of losing control over a partner, of being overly dependent on relationships. Most often we know male jealousy, the reasons for which lie in low self-esteem.

In the view of such a man, a woman is too good for him - after all, he does not have the figure of an ancient Greek athlete and the salary of an average oligarch. The opposite situation: he is convinced that a woman is a fickle and weak creature, an easy prey for more promising males. The woman, on the other hand, makes her contribution by criticizing the man and expressing constant dissatisfaction, which ultimately forms in him a feeling of his own inferiority and inferiority.

Unfortunate past experiences are just as influential: a man's jealousy can be as much a result of the trauma of a child who has been denied parental love, as it is the experience of an adult who has gone through the nightmare of betrayal. Such memories are not forgotten for years and provoke a denial of trust in women in general.

Let's complete this set with the “icing on the cake”: propaganda of permissiveness with an emphasis on free and uncommitted relationships. Sadly, this stream forms a distorted picture of the world in quite adult men. It seems to them that “no one owes anything”, that fidelity is no longer considered a virtue, that personal freedom is more important than any feelings there, and that a woman’s betrayal is inevitable – exactly like in all modern films.

The result is constant emotional hunger. The jealousy of a man in a relationship is a dissonance between the expected and received positive impressions, and such dissatisfaction will certainly cause

External signs of jealousy

With this model male behavior you are probably familiar. The process begins with innocent questions: “Where have you been, with whom did you communicate, how did you spend your day?” Not having received a rebuff, the jealous person turns to discontent, and then to aggression against alleged competitors who happen to be near you. When there are none left under the threat of physical harm, the man begins to control your every step: he needs a minute-by-minute daily schedule, all contacts on the phone, correspondence in in social networks. Any inconsistency in ten minutes looks like a guilty verdict.

And what does the woman do? That's right, he thinks: “Here it is, love! Just look at this passion!” - and fuels the man's jealousy with petty provocations. The jealous man finally loses his head and with scandals leads bans on too open clothes, cosmetics and girlfriends who set a “bad example”. Soon, the woman is left with a choice: voluntarily imprison herself or break off relations with this homegrown Othello.

There is jealousy and implicit, repressed, based on male stereotype about the shamefulness and condemnation of this possessive feeling. However, no one has yet managed to win the war with the subconscious, and you can sometimes see how a man hides jealousy:

he suddenly begins to take a keen interest in your work, girlfriends and especially male acquaintances;
he tries to casually start a conversation on the painful topic of flirting, betrayal and fidelity;
he suddenly becomes nervous, easily excitable, quick-tempered. Or vice versa, gloomy or withdrawn, and get recognition from him about the reasons conventional methods interrogation is impossible.

Unfortunately, women most often misinterpret these signals - and then one day, having such a reserved subject as an experimental subject, you do not notice that the repressed jealousy inside him has already reached an explosive state. It seems to you that feelings have cooled down, that it’s time to add spice - and, taking advice from glossy magazines for truth, decide what will help you

Jealousy in small doses

All men are unique, advice is stereotyped, and the editors are for you. personal life is not responsible. Therefore, before trying a radical remedy on your man, try to mentally imagine your reaction in his place. How would you react to the mysterious behavior, mysterious calls and texts at two in the morning? Badly? Why do you think he will react differently?

Men have excellent memory and consistent logical thinking. If you bought yourself “flowers from an admirer” six months ago, and last winter you were regularly “late from work” - then be sure: this time he will put all the pieces of the mosaic together and draw very unpleasant conclusions ...

Below we present some comparative safe ways, clearly demonstrating how to cause jealousy in a man:

Significantly change your behavior and appearance. Start using other perfumes, dye your hair, change your style of clothing. Your chosen one will be puzzled by such changes and will begin to take a closer look at you;
Find yourself interesting activity outside of his society. Sign up for a gym, go dancing, go bowling with your friends. Believe me, he knows very well, there are so many competitors on square meter area;
Stay out of his control for some time, do not immediately answer calls and messages, sometimes be a little late from work.

Note: formally, there is nothing reprehensible in these methods. Everything is easy to explain with logical reasons, there seems to be no reason for indignation. But let's not forget about the male fantasy - she will finish painting colorful pictures for him!

We categorically do not recommend trying such popular techniques as "fictitious rival", "mystery admirer with flowers", calls with unknown numbers, flirting with a stranger - this only works on teenagers on the first date. mature man rather doubt your fidelity and call into question the expediency of further relationships. You, having seen how male jealousy manifests itself, will understand that you overdid it: it's time to figure out

How to calm a man

The worst of the recommendations is to leave a man alone with his fears, to refuse communication. Do you think that alone he realizes the inadmissibility of such behavior? No matter how: your demonstrative departure will only confirm his suspicions. The jealous person is already punishing himself by experiencing an uncontrollable negative reaction - why add fuel to the fire? There are more effective ways how to calm male jealousy:

talk to a man in a calm or even joking tone, try to prove that he is simply the meaning of your life, the only and inimitable one. It is also useful to periodically raise his self-esteem, admiring the size of the salary, the volume of the biceps and the skillfully nailed shelf;
spend more time with him, organize regular joint leisure. If you overdo it a little in imposing your society on a man, in a week the failed jealous man himself will ask for mercy;
play in the "mirror", imitating reciprocal jealousy with the same force. A discouraged Othello may well realize the absurdity of his behavior;
sometimes it’s enough just to be in touch and coordinate your plans with a man. Is it difficult to call and say that you are late at work or met a friend? Do you think it harms your women's freedom? Don't want to give him a reason to control you? Relationships in which you value freedom so much are meaningless;
evaluate yourself through the eyes of a man and think - what if he really has a reason for jealousy? Are you too friendly with colleagues, is your skirt long enough?

For any peoples of the world, traditions for thousands of years have prescribed a married woman to make changes in her wardrobe so as not to embarrass other applicants, and thirty years of the sexual revolution are not ways to cross out these traditions. Because with male point of any woman's vision short skirt With bright makeup and a breathtaking neckline - with all her appearance she demonstrates that she is in active search partner and is willing to consider options. Now do you understand how the spouse of this person feels?

If these methods do not help bring the jealous person to his senses, attacks and nit-picking continue - you may have encountered such a phenomenon as

pathological jealousy

Unfortunately, this painful reaction can no longer be corrected by traditional human methods - only regular injections of haloperidol will help the patient. It is quite difficult to miss the moment when, out of fear of losing a loved one, pathological jealousy develops in men: everything starts quite harmlessly. However, in the end, the patient may end up in any of the three stages of the disease, and the last one is subject to urgent hospitalization:

The dominant idea initial stage, on which a man experiences torment, getting into a situation with a loss of control over the object of adoration. This is everyday jealousy, the signs of which disappear when the usual order of things is restored;
Self sufficient idea. The jealous person at this stage is constantly looking for evidence of infidelity, organizes surveillance or interrogations with passion, reacts violently to the appearance of potential rivals in the control zone;
Delusional state. Last stage where the patient no longer needs any evidence. He is unshakably sure that his wife is cheating on him, threatening his health or life. A man loses control over the manifestations of his jealousy and becomes dangerous to himself or others.

Characteristically, the state morbid jealousy in men, it can be both a consequence and a cause of traumatic exposure. Science knows precedents when a rejected admirer or a deceived husband tormented themselves to such a state that they became welcome guests in closed clinics.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, jealousy is considered nothing more than a bad character trait: others are sure that a jealous person can stop it at any moment, simply by pulling himself together. In reality, one has to deal with a deformation of the personality, which, in minor manifestations, warms female soul, creating an illusory impression of ardent male love, and in extreme forms, it turns the life of the jealous person and his loved ones into an endless nightmare. Probably such dangerous thing it is better to exclude from harmonious relations.

Jealousy is equally characteristic of both men and women. The difference lies only in the ways of expressing this feeling. If the fair sex prefer to state their suspicions publicly, then the guys tend to express their emotions more restrained. What are the main signs of jealousy in men, what most often causes this feeling and how to calculate the jealous? Let's try to find answers to these burning questions.

Or maybe the guy is not jealous?

If it seems to you that your man is not jealous, then there can be two options for the real state of affairs. He really does not do this, because he sees no reason for this. The second option - a man hides jealousy. Signs of hidden jealousy can be so varied that sometimes a guy himself is ashamed to admit that he is experiencing this feeling. Therefore, he prefers to keep everything to himself.

Some people think that for successful course relationships, jealousy is simply necessary. Allegedly, thanks to her, the partners experience the same feelings that were between them in the first moments of their acquaintance. For this reason, those who support this opinion begin to do things that provoke jealousy: light flirting with a work colleague, calling an ex, going to clubs, parties, etc. However, in practice, this shows completely opposite statistics: a gradual loss of trust between partners and, as a result, the deterioration of relationships and, in particular, serious cases parting. In the struggle for piquant relationships, it is important not to overdo it, but to maintain that very golden mean.

Causes and signs of jealousy

Let's look at some of the causes and signs of jealousy in men:

External signs

Even if a man tries in every possible way to suppress the feeling of jealousy that literally devours him from the inside, he is unlikely to succeed. As you know, almost no one managed to win the fight with their own subconscious. Consider the most clear signs jealousy in men, manifested outwardly:

The manifestation of increased interest in your work, namely, in male colleagues. If a guy is constantly wondering who your male director is or who Petya is from a neighboring department, you can suspect the presence of jealousy.
A man from time to time starts talking on painful topics of betrayal, flirting, etc. In such conversations, he tries to find out your position on these issues and understand whether he can trust his soul mate.
Signs of hidden jealousy in men are also not difficult to detect. Increased temper, excitability, nervousness, or vice versa, isolation and gloom, which was absolutely not typical of a guy earlier and arose at one moment. This may indicate that in his head there was a reason for jealousy. To find out if this is really so, a woman must be able to find an approach to her man, simple interrogations are unlikely to help here.

Aries, Taurus

As you know, the horoscope sets all of us some patterns, according to which we subconsciously perform daily rituals just like that, and not otherwise. Astrologers claim that the sign of the zodiac has a fundamental influence on the character of a person. It is believed that depending on the sign of the zodiac and the manifestation of jealousy in men will be different.

For example, Aries is characterized by a rather violent expression of their feelings, including jealousy. In a fit of anger, they are capable of terrible deeds, which later, in most cases, they regret.

The least pronounced signs of jealousy in male Taurus. They are characterized by a lack of imagination in this regard. They prefer not to think about what is not there, and however, if Taurus reliably finds out about the infidelity of his chosen one, then not only she, but everyone around will not say hello.

Gemini, Cancer

According to the horoscope, Gemini men are quite windy natures and very self-confident. They tend to change themselves rather than believe in the infidelity of a partner.

Cancerians tend to invent things that aren't there. Building a love relationship with representatives of this zodiac sign is quite problematic.

Leo, Virgo and Libra

The Leo man does not tolerate any hint of treason. For him, a woman is this property, which only he and no one else can dispose of.

Signs of jealousy in the Virgo man, on the contrary, are quite pronounced. Any suspicion of infidelity can push him to irreversible actions. Women need to be more careful in dealing with a man of this zodiac sign: do not provoke, do not give reasons for jealousy, and in no case openly change.

Libra will never believe that their partner was seen in infidelity, if he does not have significant evidence of this.

Scorpio, Sagittarius

Scorpio is by nature very quick-tempered and arrogant. He prefers to draw energy from negative situations. Therefore, for him, cheating on a partner will become a kind of pleasure. Torturing yourself and your partner is favorite hobby Scorpio, the main thing is to find a reason for this.

The Sagittarius man, as a rule, is very attached to his partner, and even if she commits such an act as treason, he is more inclined to forgive his beloved than to break off relations with her.

Capricorn, Aquarius

It is difficult for Capricorns to experience such a feeling as love in principle. Representatives of this sign are selfish and do not want to waste their energy on such nonsense as jealousy.

The Aquarius man rarely feels jealous just because before starting a relationship, they carefully check the chosen one for compliance with their own principles.

Fish

Pisces are very vulnerable and sensitive natures. They tend to dramatize events, which often leads to unreasonable jealousy. Pisces men constantly need proof that they are loved and faithful.

We encounter jealousy not only in love relationships. This feeling lies in wait for us in the family (for example, the struggle for parental love between brother and sister) friendly relations, sometimes even in work and business contacts.

This article will focus on the psychology of jealousy of a man in a relationship with a woman. What are the origins of this feeling, how to help a man cope with it, and is it possible to completely eradicate jealousy from a relationship? Let's try to figure it out.

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Jealousy is a feeling of distrust towards your partner, uncertainty in his choice, doubts about the finality of this choice. This is also a sense of ownership in relation to their other half, the desire that the object of jealousy belong only to the jealous.

That is why the subject of jealousy can be not only your acquaintances, but also your hobbies and hobbies. Even your abilities or character traits. A man who is jealous of you wants to possess you completely, and everything that threatens his power over you becomes a source of jealousy or a reason for it.

Of course, jealousy can also have. For example, there may be difficulties in a relationship, and someone else may start courting you. Not to mention the situation when you yourself can get carried away by someone else.

In such situations, maintaining the partner’s trust and the relationship as a whole is much more difficult. After all, the self-esteem of your man, his male pride, is under threat. What is at stake is not only confidence in you and your feeling, but also trust in love feelings as such.

Types of jealousy

In the psychology of relationships, the following zealous reactions are classified.

Normal and pathological jealousy

Normal manifestations of jealousy are those manifestations of jealousy that your partner can control. Regardless of whether such jealousy is caused by a real or far-fetched reason, a jealous person can track it, restrain emotional reactions, and behave correctly towards a partner.

Pathological jealous people are most often emotionally unrestrained, unable to cope with overwhelming feelings, capable of harming the object of jealousy or themselves.

Active and passive form of jealousy

A man who is jealous of you can behave actively in relation to the situation that caused jealousy, or withdraw into yourself, not show feelings and not try to fight for you and the relationship.

More often active the form is characteristic of an extroverted personality type - he will look for evidence of infidelity, strive to return your interest. An introvert, most likely, will not prove his feelings or try to discredit an opponent. This does not mean that he worries less or does not value you - it's just that everything mental processes going on deep inside him.

Affective, cognitive and behavioral jealous responses

affective or emotional reactions. This is the set of feelings that your partner experiences when he is jealous of you. Resentment, despair, anger, contempt. Depending on the type of personality, the intensity of the feelings experienced can be different. Sensitive natures can experience severe suffering, only suspecting their beloved of infidelity.

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cognitive reactions imply a rational analysis of the betrayal. The search for causes and perpetrators, the relationship of events that led to the betrayal, attempts to find a rational solution to what happened. This reaction is typical for people. asthenic type reflective individuals.

Behavioral reactions are accompanied by actions aimed at establishing or clarifying relationships, searching for evidence of infidelity or facts that refute it. Behavioral, active jealousy is characteristic of extroverts. They are ready to actively show feelings and even fight with an emerging or potential rival.

The strength of jealous feelings still depends on how unexpected the betrayal that has occurred. How better relationship in a pair, the stronger the feelings, if there is a betrayal, betrayal. Many are simply not able to realize that a loved one did this to them.

Factors that increase feelings of jealousy

One of the strongest factors that exacerbate jealousy in a relationship is a partner's low sense of self-worth. If your man is not confident in your choice, considers himself unworthy of you, or is simply not a very confident person, the likelihood that he will be jealous of you is very high.

Very often, such personalities close on their partner. You become the main and only meaning in his life. Replace friends, relatives; he cannot imagine his life without you, and therefore the fear of your betrayal increases in him every day.

Material or emotional addiction one partner from another. Unequal relationship when one partner experiences more strong feelings to another. Relationships in which you or your partner are financially dependent. Addiction creates fertile ground for the fears of one and the desire to demonstrate their power for another.

Causes of male jealousy

Most often, the origins of male jealousy lie in the natural sense of ownership and awareness of their strength compared to a woman. Men tend to want to control the situation, dominate the woman and everything that happens to her.

Since by nature most men are polygamous, the reflection effect can also work. own desires. That is, a man thinks - if I like other women, then my partner can also think about someone else.

Most often, jealousy appears in relationships where the partners' feelings for each other have weakened, and where the woman is open or hidden. This provokes the growth of a man’s insecurity in himself and in you, encourages you to increase control, narrow your personal boundaries.

The saying “Jealous means love” is not so true in such situations. Jealous means afraid of losing. So, I'm not sure that you chose him and will be with him under any circumstances. It means that he is not confident in his ability to keep you close to him.

Finally

Eliminating jealousy from a relationship is almost impossible, unless of course you live on a desert island just the two of you. Is jealousy good for a relationship? Sometimes when it helps your man realize the value of your relationship and his feelings towards you.

But if a man’s jealousy is caused by his lack of confidence in himself and in you, this weakness your relationships. Such jealousy brings in them only mistrust and fears, isolation and alienation. So, it is detrimental to your feelings and relationships. And it needs to be fought, increasing, reducing the influence of factors that aggravate it.

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Male jealousy is a complex and often painful feeling, which is based on the fear of losing your girlfriend, painful doubts about her fidelity, as well as the desire to completely own the soul and body of a loved one.

At the same time, young people tend to be jealous of their chosen ones not only to persons of the opposite sex, but also to everything that somehow attracts their attention - to relatives, girlfriends, hobbies and even studies.

If a guy is very jealous, it can turn into big problems for a girl, since even Voltaire noted that "furious jealousy commits more crimes than self-interest." Falling into a state of passion, the young man feels the desire to vent his anger on someone and most often under " hot hand”gets a desired object, not yet caught, but, in his opinion, already guilty of all mortal sins.

The guy is very jealous: why

Quite often, from young female representatives you can hear next question: Why is my boyfriend jealous of me if I don't give him a reason?! Dear girls, calm down and stop feeling guilty.

The development of manic suspicion is often facilitated by factors such as:

Low self-esteem. A young man, stuffed from head to toe with complexes, is rarely capable of creating strong and trusting relationship. Experiencing constant doubts about his own usefulness, he secretly considers himself unworthy of the chosen one and tries to hide the uncertainty behind regular bouts of jealousy.
Owner Syndrome. A guy who everywhere demonstrates to others that the girl belongs to him entirely and does not have any rights and freedoms, most likely, suffers from an acute mental disorder. To meet with such a type means to endanger your life, because it is completely unknown what will come to his mind in the next moment.
Alcohol or drug addiction. No matter how sad it may sound, but young men who have fallen into bondage to the green serpent quite often become pathologically jealous. The blame for everything is a drunken frenzy, clouding the brain, not allowing a realistic assessment of reality and, in addition to everything, often provoking a person to the most shameful and impartial acts.
Wrong upbringing. Raising a real man who knows how to take responsibility for his words and actions is not an easy task. As a result of erroneous upbringing, boys turn into narcissistic egoists, unprincipled tyrants, or sissy. Both those and others, and still others are potential jealous people who do not recognize a woman's right to independence and self-determination.
Tendency to change. In some cases, jealousy for no reason can occur in a guy who has a secret sin behind him. In this case, his suspicion is partly dictated by guilt, and her main reason- lack of faith in the decency of the girl he loves, which he evaluates based on his own experience.
Too much imagination. It is often said about a person living in a world of wild fantasies that he finds more than he is looking for. And this statement is absolutely true, because taking the plot out of your head and tormenting your chosen one with vain jealousy is much easier than returning to a boring real world and personally separate the "grain from the chaff."
Fear of being alone. Guy experiencing panic fear in front of loneliness, suspects everyone and everything of wanting to steal his beloved girl from him. The more afraid of losing her, the more jealous. His energy would be, but in a useful direction, however, alas, most often the way out for such a character is violent attacks on the object of his adoration.

What to do

Facing unreasonable jealousy, young girls those who do not have much experience in matters of the heart are completely lost and even begin to sink into depression.

Take back good mood, and habitual image life, the following tips will help them:

Talk about your feelings more often. Although “love with the ears” is the prerogative of the fair sex, many guys earnestly need long heart-to-heart conversations, during which the words “love”, “appreciate” and “adore” are heard quite often. By convincing the chosen one that he is the best and unique, you can significantly reduce the frequency of jealousy attacks.
Keep your emotions under control. Of course, it is incredibly difficult to remain calm when hearing ridiculous and often offensive accusations against you, but retaliatory aggression will only aggravate the situation, but will not fix it. But by pulling himself together and giving the guy the opportunity to "let off steam", you can achieve the right to a constructive dialogue.
Ignore any manifestations of jealousy. By reacting violently to the meticulous questions of a loved one, you can endlessly stir up his interest in this activity. At the same time, the restraint and equanimity of the chosen one will unsettle the jealous man, forcing him to seek more suitable ways revitalize and strengthen relationships.
Check if the wedge is kicked out with a wedge. If a guy finds it perfectly acceptable to torment his girlfriend with unreasonable jealousy, who can stop her from doing the same?! At least for a few days, arranging for the beloved " sweet life”, full of biased interrogations and impartial antics, get the opportunity to get even with the offender and somewhat reduce his ardor.
Put your vision of the situation on paper. If you can’t reach your loved one in a conversation, then it’s time to resort to the help of stationery. A detailed letter containing a real "cry of the soul" - last hope that the chosen one will come to his senses and understand the groundlessness of his suspicions.

The last thing is to make excuses to the jealous

A person who is firmly and even painfully confident that he is right cannot be persuaded by any means. The more you prove to him that you are not guilty of anything, the less he will believe. Change existing order things can only be done by moving to a calm tone, and firmly declaring the complete absurdity of any assumptions regarding your infidelity.

If you can't do it yourself, contact the experts

currently find a good psychologist successfully helping people cope with all sorts of problems is not particularly difficult. Another thing is to persuade the beloved to resort to the help of an outsider. The most weighty argument in favor of the latter is a sincere and ardent desire to maintain and improve relations.

If all else fails, find the strength to break the vicious circle

No woman deserves coexistence with a pathological jealous, and even more so, young girls who are just starting their life path do not deserve this “happiness”. Of course, parting with a loved one is a difficult test, but if he does not even try to cope with the problem, firmly believing in his own infallibility, then you need to take this step before it is too late.

Video: Why a man is jealous of a woman

Jealous men are quite common these days. What if your husband is like that?

They say that if a man is jealous, then this is from Great love. Psychologists disagree. Moreover, they believe that it is almost impossible to fix a jealous man. With great patience and self-control, one can only smooth out sharp corners, and a woman will have to work on this, long and painstakingly. How does a classic jealous behave and what should be done to build trust?

Almost any of your independent action infuriates him. But from your point of view, you are not doing anything wrong. Well, we agreed to go shopping with my girlfriends, chat about cosmetic novelties, or just stayed at work - it would seem, what's the big deal? However, in response you get loud scandal and you can’t even put in a word in your defense.

He doesn't like that you praise your friends

Every time you start praising someone other than him, he gets uncomfortable. And it does not matter who you are talking about - a man or a woman. You spoke of a colleague as a pleasant conversationalist, told how he helped you, and your husband went crazy with anger? Don't tease the geese! Many women like to deliberately arouse the jealousy of a loved one, out of sports interest or to restore the spice of relationships, but in your case of pathological jealousy, you need to behave more modestly.

He treats you like property

Constantly wants to know where you are and with whom. Constantly calls when you are with friends and demands to know when you are free. Of course, there should be no secrets in a relationship, but you need to answer the questions of a loved one. However, when they pour in like from a cornucopia and look like an interrogation by an investigator, it is difficult to remain calm and independent.

He gets mad when others find you attractive.

A normal person would feel a sense of pride and begin to thank fate for a beautiful wife. Instead, he loses his temper and lashes out with reproaches.

Every evening at dinner, your husband tells you how well acquaintances live. Ira bought a new car, Dima's salary was raised, and Marina and Serezha went to Bali to rest. It's natural to be interested in the lives of friends, but when it becomes like an obsession, it's bad.

He haunts you

This does not mean that he follows you around, although this is possible. But to require passwords for pages in social networks, access codes to e-mail, sms, skype - easily. And if you went out into the world together, then he certainly stares at you and watches how others look at you and how you behave at the same time. With him, you cannot answer calls and letters, but when he calls or writes to you, the answer should follow immediately. And if at first he addressed you “darling”, then by the tenth message, which you accidentally ignored, rolls into insults.

He often changes his mood

You can calmly watch TV in the evening, but if your mother suddenly called you, then the husband boils with anger. It can come to psychological and even physical violence - he cannot control outbursts of rage.

What to do if your husband is jealous

If from all of the above more than five points can be attributed to your husband, we sympathize - you got a real jealous man. It will be difficult to re-educate him on his own. But it's worth a try! The first step is to correct your own mistakes. For example, if your husband calls you ten times a day, you naturally stop picking up the phone. Then you have secrets from him, you make secret meetings (with friends or mom!) And do not share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. A man who is already restless, feels the change and becomes even more suspicious, begins to play Sherlock Holmes, collect evidence, then to arrange an interrogation. Relations in such cases, of course, fall apart.

Knowing about the characteristics of her husband and his painful attachment to you, try not to provoke him. Without hiding, answer calls, take him to meetings with friends. If you demonstrate to your husband that you can be trusted, sooner or later he will believe in it. This is not easy to do, because you will need to prevent blows and report all your actions in advance, without waiting for reproaches that will make you take an already defensive position. Are you going to visit a friend? Leave him her address and phone number, keep your mobile in plain sight, offer him to pick you up after the meeting.

If we remember that psychologists call low self-esteem the cause of jealousy, then the logical solution to the situation would be to raise it. Praise a man, admire him, tell him more often how you love and appreciate him. Assure that you will always be there, that the two of you are knee-deep, that together you can overcome any problem. Every evening, talk about how your day went, what plans you have for tomorrow.

The best defense is an attack

Try sometimes to arrange scenes of jealousy for your husband. Call him and ask about where he is and with whom, roll up a scandal at the slightest delay, in a word, try on his role and redirect his energy to excuses, not suspicions.