Can a husband beat his wife under the new law. "Beat the wives for dinner, so that the cabbage soup is hot!"

Now I know exactly what cognitive dissonance is. Recently I saw a video on the net of how two Muslim women, joking and having fun, talk about punishing (read beating) wives, implying that this is good and right, they even demonstrated how, in what cases and how exactly a man can beat his wife.

The subject of punishment tells the subject, who applies physical measures to him, how best to do it! And it's not funny!
Read for yourself.

Beating wives as punishment and edification - for the most part modern world nonsense, but not for everything. For example, for some of the followers of Islam, this is the norm. And since this phenomenon is common, then conversations about it are conducted as about any everyday issue - be it a baklava recipe or a grape pruning method. Or, in books on Islamic etiquette, readers are explained in detail which wife deserves to be beaten, what exactly she should be beaten with, where to strike and what to say. But it is one thing when men talk about this as the incarnations of this tradition, and quite another thing for women...

A video of a conversation between two Muslim women, where they discussed how it is right for a husband to beat his wife, appeared on Facebook about a month ago and immediately spread through public and media. mass media. Both women participating in the discussion agree that if a wife cheats or deceives, she can be hit, but if, for example, she refuses to cook, then for this, probably, it is impossible.

Both women live in Australia. The one on the left is Rim Alluce, she's a teacher primary school at a Sydney school. Her interlocutor is Atika Latifi. Both of them belong to the radical Islamist movement "Hizb ut-Tahrir" (banned in Russia), among them men are allowed to "punish" women.

Atika Latifi demonstrates a special small stick "sivak", designed for symbolic punishment of "naughty" wives. Then they share their knowledge and experience, saying that not only it, but also a twisted scarf or a piece of cloth can be used for punishment.

"This is a symbolic act, a beautiful blessing from Allah," the apparently obedient wives assert.

At the same time, both agree that, of course, only those wives who have sinned should be punished - that is, they showed disrespect to Allah or their husband. Retribution, in their opinion, is inevitable in the following cases:
disobedience to husband
amoral behavior,
deception,
reception in the house of guests objectionable to her husband.

“Well, such an insignificant sin as an unprepared dinner should not be punished,” both agree with this.

Why does the husband have the right to impose disciplinary measures? they ask themselves and the audience. - Because he is the head of the family and should be able to restore order in it. On the part of the husband, such actions are proof that he "loves his wife and fears for her." In addition, the spouse is forbidden to immediately apply physical force. First, the wife needs to be reprimanded. If she does not correct her behavior, stop sharing a bed with her. Well, if this does not help, then you can hit her - lightly.

"A husband is allowed to hit his wife as a warning to teach her a lesson. It should not be painful or rude, it is for her own good."

The degree of such a "good" is sometimes so clearly visible on the face that the hijab does not help. In autumn, Moroccan TV hosted a story with makeup artist’s advice on how to mask traces of husband’s beatings so that they do not interfere with wives ordinary life. It turns out that bruises will not be so noticeable if you use, for example, loose powder.

Dr. Ghazi Al-Shimari, expert in family relations, Saudi Arabia:
If a husband says to his wife: "Be careful, the children are playing near the stove" or "Get the children away from the electrical outlet", and she replies: "I'm busy", then the wife can be hit with a toothbrush or something similar. Never hit her with a bottle of water, a plate or a knife - this is prohibited.

George Bousquet, author of Sex Etiquette in Islam:
Women should be beaten, yes, but there are many ways to do it: if a woman is thin, then you need to beat with a cane, if she has a powerful physique, with a fist, a plump woman with an open palm. Thus, the one who strikes will not cause damage to himself.

Abdul-Latif Mushtahiri, author of You Ask and Islam Answers:
If weaning your wife from bed does not work and your wife continues to behave disobediently, then she belongs to the type of cold and stubborn women - her character can be corrected by punishment, that is, by beating. You need to beat so as not to break the bones and not provoke bleeding. Many wives have a similar character, and only this way can bring them to their senses.

Ghassan Asha, author of the book "On the subjection of women in Islam":
A husband has the right to inflict corporal punishment on his wife if she:
- Refuses to do anything to look attractive to her husband.
- Refuses to satisfy his sexual needs.
- Leaves the house without permission.
- Neglects his religious duties.
The instrument of punishment (rod) should be kept in plain sight so that your wife can always see it.

I understand traditions, respect, but, gentlemen, we live in the 21st century, people have gathered on Mars, how is it possible ...

According to materials:

“In this chapter, I will tell you what to do if a woman who has the good fortune to be your wife goes the wrong way. The correct path of such a woman has four components: humility, modesty, awe of her husband and awareness of the calling of mother and wife. All these components give rise to humility in marriage, and marriage, as you know, is the basis of society and the structure of the world.

If your wife is rebellious, wayward in sayings, abandoned the household and raising children, refuses to fulfill marital debt or treats your parents with no respect, then she may be considered as having gone astray and should receive physical punishment, as his livestock receive if they go beyond the pasture. Truly I say to you: a woman who follows the wrong path must be punished by her husband and thereby returned to the right path.

Problems with obedience and unworthy behavior of your wife arise for two main reasons, the first of which is your connivance and gentleness with her, and the second is the connivance and gentleness of her parents and, above all, her father. If the father was excessively kind to his daughter, and she did not know the rod, but only affection and all-permissiveness, then she becomes a rebellious wife who does not recognize the supremacy of a man. Marriage with such a woman promises only disappointment. Your own connivance and gentleness come from the fact that in your family the father was not a shepherd over a woman, but only part of the flock. And even worse, if he allowed your mother to be a shepherd - to dominate the family, determine where to spend money and how to raise children. There are now those families in which mothers are allowed to raise their hands against boys. good father hit such a hand with a rod, because a boy whose mother punished cannot grow up to be a man.

Perhaps you are exposed to modern trends that speak of equality between a man and a woman. If so, then you will most likely be disappointed and find yourself in an unfortunate position, for a woman cannot lead the ship of the family to prosperity. Without male guidance, she becomes capricious and chaotic, righting the ship on the reefs.

Only a blind man does not see that a woman is lower than a man, and if you are one of those, then I will give you three main reasons that speak of the headship of a father and husband over a wife and daughter: first of all, the husband is higher than his wife, because on the marital bed he gives from yourself. The second is that a woman lives by emotion, and a man by thought. The brain of a man is larger and it is he who has the right to think and determine the path. The third reason is that the man stronger body, which means that it is he who gets food, builds a house and protects a woman. Treating a woman as an equal is like encouraging the independence of a cat that eats from its owner's bowl.

A woman should invest her efforts in pleasing her husband with her beauty, fulfilling marital duties, maintaining household, raising children and helping a spouse in his affairs. The time remaining from these duties, a woman can devote to some activity that brings her joy, such as art, reading religious literature, or talking with smart people. A wise husband will not encourage his wife to associate with her friends, especially with those who do not have children or indulge in an idle lifestyle.

Now I will tell you about how to punish a woman who has gone astray. the right way, namely, not investing her best efforts in family prosperity or opposing her husband and wayward. You should not resort to physical punishment straightaway. To begin with, you should make a list of what does not suit your husband - is it done poorly or ignored. Maybe the wife does not meet her husband in elegant dress, walks in the morning without putting on makeup, does not consider it necessary to take off her husband's clothes when he enters the house. The same goes for washing the husband's feet and even bringing home shoes for him. Many husbands do not even know what real affection and care is, because wives are not passionate about caring for them, but about their own affairs, which start from gossip with girlfriends to idle shopping or sitting in in social networks. Active concern for a man should occupy a woman. It is in this that she can reach the pinnacle of her development, if she is lucky enough to have a husband who will show her the right path.

So, having compiled such a list, the husband points out to his wife the deplorable results of her action or inaction and discusses the new behavior of the wife that will suit him. Of course, all husbands should apply the reasonableness and scope of these requirements to themselves, because the wife is not a servant. However, don't be too soft either. It is worth discussing each of the requirements with her and it is possible to come to a compromise that suits both. If already at the stage of such a discussion or later, when a woman must make every effort to fulfill the requirements, she reveals disobedience, willfulness, negligence in relation to what is required, the husband needs to apply physical punishment to her.

Again, I want to keep husbands from applying such punishment right away. At the first stage, the excommunication of the wife from the marital bed works well. For a man who has known many women and has many wives, it is no secret that any woman is dependent on male intimate caresses and takes such punishment very seriously. To begin with, a man should establish that a wife who does not fulfill the requirements placed on her or shows willfulness is excommunicated from the marital bed for three or four days for each such offense. Among the wives there are those who do not consider this measure a punishment. Or those who will pretend that punishment is a joy to her. Unfortunately, only a rod can reason with such a woman.

What is the right way to beat your wife? To begin with, a man should once again draw his wife's attention to the fact that she did not heed his exhortations and re-read the list of requirements, focusing on those that were not fulfilled. Maybe it will bring a smile, but the first time you need to hit your wife with a toothpick. The husband should approach his wife and strike three times with a toothpick on any part of the body, and then warn her that the next time the punishment will be carried out with a rod. And show this rod to your wife. The rod that a good husband chooses to punish his wife should not be thinner than the little finger or thicker than the middle finger of his hand. It must be made of wood. The rod should not have protrusions, metal or any sharp parts, nor should it be made of dry wood that threatens to split. This can damage the wife's skin and make her ugly.

At good husband practicing consistency and thoroughness in actions, the question may arise: on what parts of the body and how to beat his wife? It is impossible to foresee all options, but there are at least two types of women and two types of blows. thin women, which, in my opinion, the Creator sends to punish men, should be beaten with sharp and light blows. Complete, possessing real oriental beauty, you should apply rare, slow, but heavy blows. You should never hit a woman with your hand. Firstly, you can hurt your hand, and secondly male hand should not be associated in women with pain.

Under no circumstances should you hit a woman next places: face and neck, stomach - especially in the lower part, lower back, as well as forearms, hands, legs and shins. And in particular, men often ask me why you shouldn't hit your wife in the lower back? To which I answer: a wife punished in this way hardly fulfills homework, for example, she washes floors and washes clothes, and she can’t lift weights at all and bring home shoes to a man. As for the forearms, hands, legs and shins, these are open parts that should delight the male gaze, and not frighten him with bruises. Strikes should be on the buttocks, upper arms and back, hips. You should not chase your wife around the house with shouts and insults, such behavior is unworthy of a man. To begin with, you should approach her and politely ask her to accept the punishment by squatting or all fours. The wife must first remove the dress, or lower its top or lower part. If she resists, then one should very carefully, but strongly twist her hands and possibly fix them with a string, after which, having previously bowed her to the floor or carefully holding her head between his knees, punish her with a rod.

Men also ask how many blows can be applied? I answer that in any case the number of blows should not exceed one blow for two years of the wife's life. In no case should you demand silence from her, give her the opportunity to cry and scream. This rule applies to the next two hours after the punishment. However, if after this time the cries and tears do not stop, it is worth demanding silence from the woman, and if she does not hear such a demand, punish again. I will add that the way of raising a wife who has gone astray the right way, this is a very big test for a husband, requiring a lot of strength from him. However, it is worth it, because we know many women who, having received what was due, began to live in humility, modesty and humility.

When we watch the news, where they talk about some exotic madness from the country of sands and ancient tombs, we understand that “they have a different culture”, so you can forgive and understand a lot. But when we see the prerequisites for this hell in our country, it’s already difficult to understand something - the bills have been introduced, normality has been put on cancer again, and “ traditional values" V Once again rewritten.

This is the case, for example, with the topic of domestic violence. It is actively discussed in the media at the suggestion of the chairman of the State Duma Committee on Family, Women and Children. This committee, in theory, should modernize Russian legislation so that living in a family was a thrill. But Elena Mizulina, an inveterate button accordionist, cat lover and lover of generating memes at the speed of the fall of the Schiaparelli spacecraft, perceives the buzz differently, and therefore asks to decriminalize family beatings. This means that you can beat children and wives without fear of criminal consequences (you will get off with a fine). The bill was rejected, but the whole story exposed the sharp edges of public consciousness. There were many people who believe that education is a sound idea.

It may be that we are saturated with paranoia, but what if our country turns into that very “exotic madness” that will be shown on TV somewhere in Poland or New Zealand under exclamations of “no need to condemn them, it's just a different culture”? If so, then we will join a wonderful company, where beatings are just a component family life.

Afghanistan

Hafize, from Afghanistan, was seven years old when her father married her to a man who was 42 years old. For ten years she endured daily beatings, torture and sexual abuse.

“I was too young to understand what was going on. I thought he was my uncle. My childhood ended the day we met. I would like to be born a man. Even if I were blind or crippled, life would still be better. Men don't have to suffer like that."

This country is famous not only for its selected hashish, but also for all sorts of goodies in the legislation that our State Duma committee on family, women and children will like. No, don't think that there is no law in this state. Any woman has the right to go to court if her husband beats her, but they rarely do this, and when they do, they get more cuffs from above. Not only from her husband, but also from the court. After all, the Afghan court is the most liberal and kind-hearted in the world, after which all wives return to their husbands, realizing that it is better to go around with a bloody face than with a severed head. The statistics for the country are appalling. According to Women for Afghan Women, 90% of Afghan women suffer from domestic violence.

Pakistan

The husband should be allowed to lightly beat his wife if she does not follow his orders or refuses to dress according to his wishes.
– Islamic Ideology Council of Pakistan –

The sun has risen in Pakistan and the Punjab Regional Parliament passed a law to protect all oppressed women. It described the problems of psychological pressure, financial oppression and, of course, physical abuse. However, the law did not come into force because the Council for Islamic Ideology did not approve it. As a result, the guys from the council decided to write their own version of the bill with blackjack and whores. It turned out something very strange, because the law against the oppression of women, as a result, became a law that paints these oppressions in all its glory. It is difficult to understand this whole story, but one thing is clear - the elite of the state itself does not know what to do, and women continue to be beaten, because society is used to it. Meanwhile, according to the Pakistan Medical Association, between 1994 and 2007, eight thousand women were killed in marriage. Spiritually, patriotically and family.

Jordan

A fabulous country and quite a rich one, when compared with other states in the region. Good army, and even the king looks more like an American billionaire than an Islamic ruler. From the outside it seems that women are fine there. Our compatriots, for example, generally only dream of a rich Jordanian guy. This is evidenced by Google, crammed with queries “Russian women in Jordan”, “life of Russian women in Jordan” and other such.

But when they come to this country, in addition to the charming buildings of the city of Petra, they receive a portion of the "fun" Jordanian traditions, which are better told by the results of surveys conducted in the country itself. For example, Jordanian middle class represented by students of higher educational institutions in the amount of 91% supports the beating of wives. At the same time, the women themselves do not seem to mind, but there is a whole system: a) 83% of Jordanian women approve of beating if the wife is deceiving her husband; b) 60% of women approve of beating if the wife is guilty of burning food; c) 52% of women approve of beating if the wife refused to follow the instructions of her husband. We can say that girlfriends are there with character, and not everything is so bad. In addition, burning food is clearly a demonic offense.

India

I don't want to unite all countries with one cultural code, so let's add some Indian spices to the dish of domestic violence. In India a big problem with rape, which has been bleeding for more than a century. Despite the fact that the Hindus show excellent growth in the economy, industry and education, they are still divided into castes. A caste society has its advantages, but also disadvantages, because a person of a higher caste can always dodge any legislative initiative. They are trying to fix this, the problem of rape and domestic violence is discussed on the central Indian television channels, huge protest demonstrations are held in big cities demanding a fair trial, but India is a country of contrasts.

Very much traditional education"silent majority", which all these demonstrations to one place. The rural population lives under the 1983 law, which does not recognize domestic violence for a crime. According to him, you can rape your wife, because sex is part of marital rights. This law was repealed in 2006, but it is still alive in the minds of many Indians. In addition, the dowry theme also ignites a passion for beating.

If the groom receives little money for his marriage, then his family is so indignant that all this can lead to murder. Moreover, a popular method of murder is burning alive. The percentage of people convicted of these crimes is appallingly low. The trials go on for decades. At the same time, the judges themselves make concessions to those who belong to the higher castes.

Eastern orders sometimes horrify the average European: spouses for children are chosen by parents, a woman must unquestioningly obey her husband, and so on. And now the UAE again shocks the "civilized" world: the Supreme Court allowed a man to physically educate his household. The main condition is not to leave traces, well, not to overdo it ...

The reason for the decision was the case against a local resident who, teaching adult daughter mind, bruised not only her, but also his wife. The husband broke the woman's lip, and the negligent daughter's hand and knee.

The Supreme Court decided that the man in his upbringing clearly went too far and abused the sacred right given to him. According to Sharia law, a man has the right to "discipline" household members, including by assault, if two other measures of influence did not help: a remark and a refusal to share a bed with his wife. True, local lawmakers cannot come to a consensus: where does education end and banal beatings begin? The only thing that all learned minds agree on is that you don’t have to hit too hard!

In the case of the already mentioned resident of the UAE, the miscalculation was twofold: he “raised” his wife very seriously, and he had no right to touch his daughter at all. After all, she is 23 years old, which means that it is no longer possible to teach a girl physically. As they say, what has grown has grown.

The man justified himself as best he could: he didn’t want to harm anyone, and his wife got it by accident - the woman got in the teeth by mistake.

The unrestrained citizen of the UAE was sentenced to a large fine, and he tried several times to challenge the sentence, but the courts of different levels only confirmed the punishment.

"While the law allows the husband to use his right to discipline family members, he must respect the boundaries of what is permitted," said the chairman. Supreme Court Emirates.

He also added that for abuse, the head of the family must necessarily bear the punishment corresponding to the offense. In addition, the court forbade raising adult children by assault. According to Sharia, these are boys and girls who have reached puberty.

Local experts agree with the opinion of the judge - there should be a measure in everything. “Injuring and illegally insulting the dignity of a wife is unacceptable,” experts say. According to them, wife beating goes against Islamic teachings that a Muslim should live with his wife in love.

But Dr. Ahmed al Qubaisi from the University of the United Arab Emirates, says that sometimes a good cuff can save a family. “If the wife did something wrong, then the husband can complain about her to the police, but if the offense is not serious and you don’t want to tell strangers about it, then the blow is the best choice", - the scientist is sure.

Another learned dean of the local college, Yassim al Shamsi, believes that the law should not allow husbands to beat their wives, but at the same time should exempt men from punishment if one does happen.

“Love and respect is more important than any physical impact, but if there was assault, then the man cannot be punished if there are no marks left on the body of the beaten one,” says the dean. According to him, beating for the sake of discipline is not at all like beating out of anger, which means, apparently, there is nothing wrong with it.

Muslim laws, especially in relation to women, cause astonishment among Europeans, to put it mildly. On the one hand, men in the East can abuse their wives with virtually impunity, cutting off their noses and ears, considering their spouse property. On the other hand, in what "civilized" European country A woman can demand through the court that her husband give her the 124 thousand roses promised before the wedding, as happened a couple of years ago in Iran?

We should not forget that atrocities and domestic violence are characteristic not only of "wild" countries. In our country, for example, a man who broke his wife's lip will not even be taken to the district police station, what kind of court is there! So, upon closer inspection, it is not known who else will turn out to be more wild.

Saudi family therapist Khaled Al-Saqabi posted a video teaching how to beat wives online. The Saudi did not discover anything new, but the St. Petersburg police receive up to 20 calls a day from those who have not read the Koran and Domostroy.

Al-Saqabi wrote down his advice on the proper punishment of bad wives back in February, but the general public began to be amazed at what they saw only after the doctor was “promoted” by the Middle East Media Research Institute in mid-April. To date, the video teaching “wife-beating” on youtube has about 230 thousand views. Not the most outstanding indicator, but it turned out to be enough for a universal cry: Al-Sakabi's revelations were noticed both in Russia and in the West.

What does the family therapist focus on? First of all, as befits a specialist, Al-Saqabi warns of the dangers that lie in wait for a devout Muslim on the path of admonishing a wife who has been at fault:

"... This topic is fraught with many dangers, but by the will of Allah, we will be able to stay on the bridge of piety."

Before punishment, a Muslim woman should be reminded of her duties - giving the last opportunity for immediate repentance. The execution itself should not be carried out with a piercing or cutting object; a scarf is perfect for enlightenment. For the sake of science, you should stop communicating with your wife in bed. Al-Saqabi concludes his story by stating the disturbing fact that many wives strive for equality with their husbands, and this is not good.

Again, nothing innovative was said. Al-Saqabi simply recalled the traditions of family life laid down in the Koran. Women (like men) are called by the holy book of Muslims to chaste behavior:

“Tell the believing women to lower their eyes and guard their genitals” (Sura 24, verse 31).

The punishment for a wife for adultery is death, but not publicly and without the application of strength. This is how it is said in the verse translation of the Koran, recognized as one of the most successful, by Valeria Porokhova.

And if any of your women
He will do a vile deed,
Then call four witnesses from among you.
And if (this sin) be confirmed by them,
Keep your wives in the houses
Until death befalls them
Or until the Lord disposes of them in another way (Sura 4, ayat 15).

Non-lethal punishment of the spouse can be subjected to other sins. The Qur'an specifies the sequence of actions of a mentoring husband.

As for those women
The disobedience of which you fear
(First) admonish them,
(And if that doesn't help)
You excommunicate them from the bed,
(And if that doesn't help)
You can (slightly) hit them.
And if they obey you,
Then do not look for quarrels with them.
Indeed, the Lord is exalted and great! (Sura 4, verse 34).

So, the question "to beat or not to beat" is not in the Qur'an. It is clear that to beat - but by what method? And here different interpreters come to the rescue. The site "The Status of Women in Islam" specifies aspects of enlightenment:

“... A weak beating that does not break bones and does not leave marks and does not hit the face, since its purpose is education, not torture, so that she feels that her behavior is unacceptable ... meaning light beating, and as for painful, then it banned Islam ... Beating is final stage upbringing".

In St. Petersburg, Islam has not yet taken the place of the dominant religion, therefore, responding to a topic that has become a topic of the day, it would be fair to pay attention to the "titular" religion. The Bible, defining the order of the relationship between a man and a woman, calls in the New Testament:

“Let each of you love his wife as himself; but let the wife be afraid of her husband.”

More specifics can be found in the encyclopedia of family life. Ancient Rus'- the famous "Domostroye". The popular belief that it contains the norm “to beat your wife on Fridays” is nothing more than the speculation of empty-headed people who take every ringing for granted. However, some indications on the way to family happiness there is.

Domostroy clearly defines the criteria for a good wife: “A kind, hardworking, and silent wife is the crown of her husband ... a drunken husband is bad, and a drunken wife is not good in the world”. If the spouse does not meet the above requirements, then punishment should follow. True, the wise book does without specifics: "... the husband must punish his wife, in private reason with her fear, and having punished, forgive and caress."

True, the conclusion that not everything was in Rus' with domestic violence so chocolatey, you can do it by reading "Domostroy" a little further. Among the methods of admonishing and admonishing servants who have been at fault, there are explanations that Russian women, if they happened to be in the servants, sometimes got hard on the nuts:

“When they beat like that in the hearts or from the torment, many troubles happen from it: blindness and deafness, and the arm and leg and finger will be dislocated, headaches and toothaches set in, and in pregnant women and children in the womb are damaged. As a punishment, to beat with a whip is both reasonable and painful, and scary and healthy.

About the reality that prevailed in Russia in his work “Essay home life and morals of the Great Russian people in the 16th-17th centuries,” wrote the historian Nikolai Kostomarov:

“The treatment of husbands with wives was as follows: as usual, the husband hung a whip, exclusively assigned to his wife and called a fool; for insignificant guilt, the husband dragged his wife by the hair, stripped her naked, tied her with ropes and whipped the fool until she bled - this was called teaching the wife; for some husbands, instead of a whip, the rod played the same role, and the wife was flogged, as small child, while others, on the contrary, had a club - and the wife was beaten like cattle. This kind of treatment not only did not seem reprehensible, but was also imputed to the husband as a moral obligation. Whoever did not beat his wife, pious people said that he does not build his house and does not care about his soul, and he himself will be destroyed both in this century and in the future, and he will destroy his house.

Despite the fact that centuries have passed, many Petersburgers still hold their families together according to the precepts of their ancestors, regardless of confessional affiliation. According to unofficial data received by Fontanka from a source in law enforcement agencies, the police of St. Petersburg daily receive from 10 to 20 complaints of domestic assault. First of all, this applies to residential areas, the south of the city is considered more conflicting. Many statements are being pulled back. Violence is reported in a wide variety of families, regardless of social status. And in ten percent of cases, husbands who fell under the distribution complain about the heavy hand of the spouse.

Tatiana Vostroilova,
Evgeny Khaknazarov,
Fontanka.ru