The psychology of father-daughter relations. Too loving father: good or bad for a daughter
The issue of the importance of the father's upbringing of a girl, unfortunately, is not given due attention in society, since motherly upbringing of a daughter is traditionally considered a priority.
And this is true, however, there are those key points raising a girl, the responsibility for which lies with the father, and mother, no matter how hard she tries, will not be able to replace dad in them.
The fact is that it is the relationship with the father that fundamentally affects the formation of the daughter as future woman, on her further relationships with men and the choice of a life partner. All of these factors are crucial in a woman's life.
Let us consider in more detail: how relations with the father affect the fate of the daughter.
Let's start with the fact that the father is the first and most significant example of a man in the life of his daughter. The responsibility is enormous. If only all fathers knew this...
The image of the father and the relationship "father-daughter" set many programs and attitudes for communication in childhood. adult woman with the opposite sex. It is good if the settings and programs are correct and useful. And if not?
Problems may arise in the life of an adult daughter different nature. Let's try to figure it out.
Suppose perfect option: complete family, parents together take part in raising their daughter, harmonious family relations, dad is wise and loving.
Of course, it can be difficult to understand father's love, it is different from mother's. But even the restrained, not very emotionally colored love of the father is felt, perceived and absorbed by the daughter. A daughter for a loving father is a princess, this is his (and therefore) an ideal female creation: the most beautiful, most beloved, most-most ... in everything and always, this is his pride, this is the light of his soul.
In turn, paternal love gives the girl a sense of security, security, self-confidence, self-worth; develops femininity, attractiveness, demand and success.
Next to a loving father, the girl grows up, realizing that she is worthy of the love of the opposite sex. When a daughter sees, feels and knows that the most significant man in life, the father loves and accepts her for who she is, the girl learns to love and accept herself, and most importantly, learns to accept the love and attention of the opposite sex.
A father for a girl is the whole world. And if this world loves and accepts her, is always ready to help and protect, then she is not afraid of anything. She goes out into adult life without fear, with the knowledge that everything will be fine, she will always find support and support, because the whole world is on her side.
A positive program learned in childhood will work throughout life for the benefit of an adult woman.
Such a woman will attract loving men who will become her support, support in life and will take constant care of her.
Another very important aspect raising a girl is the relationship of a father to a mother.
A girl needs to see that her father loves her mother. Observing the love of a father for a mother, every child experiences a sense of security, joy, happiness and harmony in the world. Any manifestation of dislike for the mother on the part of the father causes pain to the daughter, which, accumulating, can become an insurmountable wall in the relationship between father and daughter.
Dear fathers, it is very important in relation to mothers to show daughters how a man shows love and attention to a woman. This is how a girl develops a model of relationships between a man and a woman, which she will learn for life, like all other models of relationships in the family.
If “love and attention” in the family manifests itself in the form of discontent, nagging or rudeness, this lesson will also be learned: such a model of relations will become natural for a mature woman in the future.
You have noticed that our whole conversation periodically returns to love. If the girl feels a deficit or absence paternal love, she grows up insecure, depressed, downtrodden, withdrawn or, on the contrary, openly aggressive, denying and suppressing the male essence.
How often young and beautiful girl one has to convince that she is beautiful, smart, worthy of love and attention of the opposite sex, while a completely outwardly inconspicuous girlfriend arouses interest among young people, freely communicates with them and does not complex about the shortcomings of her appearance.
A girl who felt a lack of paternal attention and love in childhood grows up with a sense of her defenselessness, with fear of vast world and the unpredictability of life. Everything is given to her by great personal work, because she does not know how to ask for help, does not wait for support and relies only on herself. Success in life becomes difficult. Personal life is also not easy.
Alertness and distrust of men often lead a woman to control her husband, suppress him, take on men's duties. This is especially common in the case when the girl was brought up only by her mother, who “dragged all the hardships of life” or when the father was in the family, but the mother all the time had to “plow” herself in relations with him.
It happens that a woman obsessively seeks the attention of the opposite sex, is available and not picky in relationships, easily enters into relationships with men who show attention to her. She is looking for love and clings to anyone who will say a compliment or a kind word to her.
Or, with her behavior, a woman all the time wants to prove how good she is and therefore worthy of love. And her whole life turns into a continuous desire to "please him" in anticipation of attention and love in return. Some women torment a man with a constant question: do you love me? Or: tell me you love me! Others suffer quietly and weep furtively in frustration.
It also happens that a woman is afraid of relationships with a man, does not know how to build them, avoids communication with the opposite sex. She “hits” her career, sometimes she completely refuses personal life and starting a family. Why does she need a man, the woman justifies herself, she is strong and herself can achieve everything.
There can be a lot of distortions in the life of a woman who grew up without fatherly love and attention. How many lives, so many unique experiences.
Many women, after reading this article, will say: so what to do now? Childhood has already passed, life has not turned out the way you wanted, you can’t fix anything. Actually this is not true.
First, you need to discard self-pity and regret about a failed personal life. After all, for some reason, the life lessons learned were necessary.
Secondly, it is important to thank the past for the invaluable experience, to forgive the father (in the end, he fulfilled his main purpose - you were born), let go of all resentments, look with love at your inner child, understand, grow up and start working on yourself.
Gradually, changes in life will begin to occur. It is very likely that health will improve as well. It's no secret that one of the most common causes women's diseases is the accumulated resentment against men, which is based on problematic relationships with the father.
I believe that every father who has read this article to the end loves his daughter. However, it is difficult for men to emotionally express their feelings, because open emotionality is more characteristic of women and children.
Therefore, in conclusion, I want to summarize the above and give recommendations to fathers:
- Remember, a daughter needs a father's love no less than a mother's. It depends on your paternal example how her adult relationships with men will develop, whom she will choose as husbands, and, therefore, how her personal life will develop in connection with this.
- Treat your daughter's mother with love. A daughter should see an example of love and respect between a man and a woman in the face of her parents. This sets the right basic model for your daughter's future relationships with men.
- Show confidence in your daughter, talk to her about her problems, show concern, be there at crucial moments in her life, be able to step aside, respect her choice.
- Show warmth in relations with your daughter, hug, compliment, admire, give gifts, be sincere.
- Avoid being overprotective of your daughter. With an excess of fatherly love, a girl can form a strong emotional dependence on her father, which causes no less harm than a lack of fatherly love.
- Be understanding and sincere interest to your daughter’s life, spend time together (visit the theater, go to exhibitions and concerts, arrange holidays; listen to the music she loves; be interested in what she is interested in; inspire her to develop and develop yourself).
- Be strict when necessary, but always be wise and fair. Punish with love, without anger, explaining your actions.
- Never allow yourself assault on your daughter!
- Respect the personality in your daughter, even if she is still very small.
- Be positive, develop a sense of humor.
- Be worthy in everything male example! Encourage femininity in your daughter. Remember you are the one important man in the life of a little growing woman - your daughter. She looks at you stare and makes life decisions early age. Don't miss your daughter's childhood!
Certainly. Did you doubt? If the father's love is devoid of the right understanding of how to love a girl, then he simply destroys the future of his daughter, because no man in the future will be able to compare with him. Do you know why? Because a loving father does not need anything from his daughter, but for healthy marital relations a man needs from his wife. He doesn’t need so much, because a self-sufficient man comes to give in a relationship, but relationships can exist only if the wife is guided by this principle. She comes to give a man something, to give him the opportunity to do something in his life.
Back to the question. What is the father doing? The father destroys competitors when he is very attached and fiddling with the girl. By and large, a man should not be allowed near his daughter, because he will create for the girl such a model of a man that is no longer in the Universe, and she will be alone forever. This is another path to loneliness.
To make a daughter lonely means a lot of messing around with her father. A father must restrain his desires in expressing love for his daughter. The daughter's father's donation is that, out of love for her, he would take even more care of his mother. As soon as he wants to do something for his daughter, he turns around and does it for his mother. For example, he wanted to hug his daughter, he goes and hugs his wife. By this, he claims that it is very cool to be a woman, and the girl strives to be a woman. This main principle raising girls.
Make the girl want to be real woman, having developed all feminine qualities. How to do it? Motivate her. What is the best way to motivate? Show that a woman is loved and that's it. This is the Vedic principle of educating girls.
The father must show his love and tenderness for the mother, and then the girl herself will walk with her mouth open, reading every movement and copying her mother. Wear her heels, cook sand soups, put bears to bed, read books at night.
Copy ‒ The best way training known in the universe, and you come up with all sorts of nonsense. Some crazy techniques that are often written by people who do not have children. Methods for raising children are written by people who do not have children at all, or who do not see them - they have no time, they write methods for raising children. Therefore, when the father loves the girl's mother very much, then she has a motive to develop her feminine qualities.
The father loves his daughter, creating her happy future, mainly taking care of his wife, and the mother at this time, being protected by her husband and loved, unselfishly sheds her love on her daughter, making her a beautiful present.
In the evening, after an 8-hour working day, the father can devote time to either his wife or daughter. He doesn't have enough time for everyone.
If he devotes time to his daughter, then he makes her a wonderful present, but a terrible future, because her future is that she alone stands in the kitchen and washes dishes, cleans, vacuums, waits for her father and daughter when they are in amusement parks, attractions and shops . Therefore, the girl thinks with horror about her future: “If I don’t find a man like my dad, then my fate is at the sink, with plates and a vacuum cleaner, while my husband will light the rides and shops with his daughter.” The father thus destroys her future, because she does not believe that a woman is good, for her a woman is one that is ignored for the sake of her daughter.
The most interesting thing is that women encourage it. They think that everything in their family is very good. Only when they encourage it?
When they no longer hope for the attention of their husband or when a woman considers herself unworthy of her husband's love. She thinks: “I’m fine, and my mother told me that I’m selfish, lazy, but our daughter is really good. If we say which of the two of us is worthy of our love common man, then of course, daughter - she is pure, bright, and I am like that ... ”Thus, she destroys the idea that“ Thank God, I am a woman ”(Thank You Lord that I am a woman). This idea is destroyed when the father begins to mess with his daughter a lot. So be careful.
The tendency of why a man really wants to mess with a girl is usually that it was very difficult for him to accept feminine energy from the mother, the mother did not give him this energy. She herself was very tough, independent, male type. Having not received the energy of love from his mother, not having received it from his wife, a man takes it from his daughter. Therefore, a woman tends to male nature, to the boy. Moreover, he is pure, he is loved, he is an angel for her, just like a daughter for a loving father.
We gravitate towards children of the opposite sex because they help us to become whole, to restore our full nature - both female and male. But this is dishonest, because replenishing your nature at the expense of children is dishonorable. It destroys them. It costs them dearly.
The principle of parenthood is based on the fact that if you need something from a child, then you are no longer a parent. “So why have I lived as an orphan all my life?
A girl grows up as an orphan when the principle of parenthood is destroyed by the self-interest of parents - they have some expectations from the child, something for themselves. For example, a daughter will justify her mother’s plans: “I didn’t implement my plans, I want to implement them as a daughter.” The second: “My daughter will be my “therapist for food” all my life.” She will listen to her mother's problems, hardships, be such a patient friend. A little girl takes on the problems of an adult aunt and tries to calm her mother down, to understand, destroying herself.
Even in the rules traffic small cars are not allowed to tow large ones. Young people hang yourself! It's just "hazing". When the young come to the army, the newly minted oldies understand that their hardships are over.
So it is in life: “I keep my daughter in order to share my emotions: discontent, dissatisfaction, irritation, grief. She is my "psychotherapist for food" - I feed her, and she listens to her mother for this. A very big savings, because the therapist costs from 150 to 800 dollars today, and here just for food. How cool, right?
Ruslan Narushevich
“Until the age of twelve, a girl is under the wing of her father, and a boy is under the wing of her mother.” This phrase can help predict the future of a child. For better or worse, man is an absolutely programmable being. For the first 7 years of life, each of us is unconsciously programmed, and then all our lives we consciously try to reprogram. Not everyone succeeds, especially when it is not known what should be changed in the first place. And so today is about love for the father.
In this article, I suggest that you see the scenario for the development of your daughter's fate, or (if you are a woman) check my information with the main milestones of your own life. And perhaps challenge my thinking.
Prelude
In the life of a child, everything depends on the mother, who is a god for her child, but the irony of fate is that the girl herself future mom, until the age of twelve, looks at dad and waits for his boundless love.
The whole picture of her fate depends on how a girl in the depths of her soul looks at her father, on whether she can receive his love.
Namely: will she be divorced, will she live in prosperity, will she have to work hard, will she live to old age surrounded by her loved ones, will she be left alone, will she get a caring husband or one from whom she will dream of running away.
All relationships with men, absolutely everything, depend on how we look at dad. Or at the one who is in this place.
This rule applies to both women and men. All of us, both men and women, use the same communication strategy from childhood, which we later simply project onto everyone who comes across us in everyday life.
Simply put, if we are offended by dad, we will be offended by all men. In the same way, if we are offended by our mother, having matured, we will look for a reason in women to be offended and break off relations.
We project our feelings from those who were in our childhood to those who are in our environment now. Unfortunately, most people in the world do not realize that they see other people through the lens of their childhood feelings and decisions. And, pardon the pun, these distortions distort relationships so much that you want to break out of them and run away.
This is the first thing we need to know in order to be able to foresee fate. Secondly, it is important to understand what her father means to a girl.
A girl under 12 is emotionally very strongly connected with her father. She expects more attention and love from him than from her mother. Dad is a source of peace for her, just like a greenhouse for a delicate and fragile flower.
Look at the picture. This shot is from the movie Cinderella. Behind our girl: King, Scientist and Father. With such a retinue, she is calm, and looks kindly at the Prince - her chosen one.
The King, the Scientist and the Father are the three hypostases of the father, giving the girl inner peace.
The king is the father who controls the space where the girl lives. The king influences everyone and ensures stability with his power. The king is a worthy, very worthy person in society. His status allows the girl to feel proud, full of self-respect, dignity and significance.
A scientist is a father, constantly developing and able to learn about the world. Like every woman, a girl considers herself not just the world, but also the Universe, and it is important for her to have a man next to her, not only constantly exploring her inner world but also helping her understand herself. A learned father allows the girl to change all the time and, discovering new facets in herself, to be always interesting in the eyes of men.
The third hypostasis is caring and loving dad- the one who will always support and caress. He will shake his knees, tell a story and give the sweetest feeling in the world that you can always remain small without worrying about anything.
To be sure that you will be taken care of, to feel noteworthy, respect and all the time to allow yourself to be different - that's what the father gives the girl. Ideally.
And now, armed with this knowledge, let's return to how the whole fate of the girl is connected with her attitude towards her father. How to learn to see the future based on the past?
The algorithm will be easy. To determine the fate of the girl, we need to know how the mother sees the girl's father. After all, it depends on the mother’s decision whether a girl can love her father on her own, or whether she can look at her father through her mother’s eyes until she matures. Figuratively speaking, the girl's mother always keeps her hand on the valve of the pipeline of her daughter's love for her dad. To block love for the father or not - the mother decides.
Having interviewed the girl's mother, we will have very few options for the future of her daughter. I will make a reservation right away that in all scenarios we proceed from true feelings mother and daughter, and not the expressions that we usually hear from people who want to look good in the eyes of others.
Options
Option One: Mom sincerely loves the girl's dad. Mom counts her husband worthy man- King. The girl thinks so too. To the stupid question of adults: “Who do you love more - mom or dad?” - replies: "I love both!"
Scenario of her future: The girl will be very attractive to men. She will be seen as the Queen. They want to take care of her, provide for her. She will be respected. Great future!
Option Two: Mom considers herself unworthy of the girl's dad. He is the King, and the girl's mother is a Simpleton. The girl idolizes her dad and dreams that she will get “a husband just like dad”.
Scenario of her future: Deep down, the girl hides from herself that she is unhappy with her mother. She thinks: "I would best wife dad." The girl will repeat the path of her mother - she will become the same Simpleton. At the same time, in order to hide her essence, she will try to look very important, as if she is a Queen. He will choose a husband for himself in order to be dissatisfied with his behavior. 7-10 years after life together will seek to divorce him. If she is not aware of her childhood decisions, the girl will get sick, and more and more over the years.
Option Three: Mom considers the girl's dad unpromising, lazy or just an ordinary citizen, not enough stars from the sky. In other words, he considers himself better than him.
Scenario of her future: Whether the girl wants or does not want, and her mother's programming will have an impact on her too. The girl will be Simple. Men will see in her the one that can neither inspire nor hold. She will be disappointed in men and will believe that her mother was right. She will have to work on her own to support her family and she will be dissatisfied with her life. The future is gray!
Option Four: Mom is openly dissatisfied with the girl's dad. The girl protects her mother from her father.
Her future scenario: The girl will look for a husband who is not like her father. In the end, she will choose the one who will poison her life. The girl will become a courageous woman and will consider men a mistake of nature. She herself will perform all the male and women's work and take on masculine traits. The girl will claim that her life is beautiful, but the heaviness in her soul will put pressure on everyone. Life will end in loneliness.
Option Five: Mom is openly dissatisfied with the girl's dad. The girl protects her father from her mother.
Scenario of her future: Becoming an adult, the girl will become a mistress married man. With women will be in counter. With the wife of his beloved, too. Will believe in magic, walk on folk experts hoping to get her married. Children, or rather, she will have one child. Mom will be loved and pitied. A child will not leave his mother, because he will replace her father. Even if the child is a girl. The future is sad and rather lonely.
That's all the main scenarios. Not thick, right?
The bitter truth is that only in the first option, with permission from the mother to love her father, the daughter will become a happy woman.
The bitter truth is that women pretend in public that they allow their daughters to love their fathers, but in fact, with their discontent, they inspire their girls: “Be unhappy like me! I am unhappy and so you should be!”
Experience confirms this sad trend of women continuing to suffer from generation to generation.
Solution
When a woman divorces, she seeks to return to her father's house in search of that happiness that she could not get as a girl.
Happy girls become happy women. Their husbands do not leave them and they do not go to happy loneliness. The happiness of a woman is TOGETHER with a man.
It is impossible to become happy if happiness is lost in childhood, in parental family. The girl refuses happiness, looking at her mother, who also lost her happiness in her childhood. But she thinks that this man deprived her of happiness.
Happiness is not in men. Happiness is a feeling that is within you. Therefore, your happiness cannot live in another person. No matter how much you would like to shift the responsibility for your happiness to another, but this does not help you feel better.
Of course you want your children to be happy. And very often you think that if you give up your happiness, then the child will have more of it. This is so naive and childishly stupid!
Your children will be happy only if you yourself are illuminated with happiness. Because you can only give to others (children, husband, loved ones) what you yourself possess. Therefore, your main duty is to be happy yourself.
Dear women, if the happiness of your daughters is important to you, with all your appearance, with all your feelings, with your whole body, become happier yourself. Looking at you daughters will also allow themselves happiness.
Children take an example from their parents. When parents have love, children have it too.
Of course, the girl's father also has a great responsibility for the scenario of her daughter's life, and no one can remove this responsibility from him. It's just that no matter what the father is - good or bad - the girl's mother forms an attitude towards men in her child.
A little girl is just a vessel into which parents pour their experience of relationships. And a mother, for the happiness of her child, must take care of what kind of experience she pours - bitter or pleasant in taste. To do this, the mother should not reproach the man she chose for herself, but look at her parents and, finally, DO THE MOST IMPORTANT:
REMOVE ALL CLAIMS FROM YOUR MOM AND DAD.
Only in this case, her family will begin new era- an era of stable happiness, mutual respect and long-lived love. And it will be easy for my daughter to support this tradition and pass it on!
P.S. As for the boy under twelve, his fate algorithms are not at all the same as those of his peers. So it will not work to extrapolate the options for the fate of the girl into the boyish ones. The boy was born to learn the secrets of the Universe and the options for his paths of fate are much greater than those of the girl.
“Until the age of twelve, a girl is under the wing of her father, and a boy is under the wing of his mother.” This phrase can help predict the future of a child.
Unfortunately or fortunately, man is an absolutely programmable being. For the first 7 years, not even 12, each of us is unconsciously programmed, and then all his life he consciously tries to reprogram. Not everyone succeeds. Especially when it is not known what should be changed in the first place.
And so today is about love for the father.
In this article, I suggest that you see the scenario for the development of your daughter's fate, or (if you are a woman) check my information with the main milestones of your own life. And perhaps challenge my thinking.
Prelude
In the life of a child, everything depends on the mother, who is a god for her child, but the irony of fate is that the girl is a future mother herself, looks at her father until she is twelve years old and waits for his boundless love.
The whole picture of her fate depends on how a girl in the depths of her soul looks at her father, on whether she can receive his love.
Namely: will she be divorced, will she live in prosperity, will she have to work hard, will she live to old age surrounded by her loved ones, will she be left alone, will she get a caring husband or one from whom she will dream of running away.
All relationships with men, absolutely everything, depend on how we look at dad. OR ON THE ONE WHO STANDS IN THIS PLACE.
This rule applies to both women and men. All of us, both men and women, use the same communication strategy from childhood, which we later simply project onto everyone who comes across us in everyday life.
Simply put, if we are offended by dad, we will be offended by all men. In the same way, if we are offended by our mother, having matured, we will look for a reason in women to be offended and break off relations.
We project our feelings from those who were in our childhood to those who are in our environment now. Unfortunately, most people in the world do not realize that they see other people through the lens of their childhood feelings and decisions. And, pardon the pun, these distortions distort relationships so much that you want to break out of them and run away.
This is the first thing we need to know in order to be able to foresee fate. Secondly, it is important to understand what her father means to a girl.
A girl under 12 is emotionally very strongly connected with her father. She expects more attention and love from him than from her mother. Dad is a source of peace for her, just like a greenhouse for a delicate and fragile flower.
Look at the picture. This shot is from the movie Cinderella. Behind our girl: King, Scientist and Father. With such a retinue, she is calm, and looks kindly at the Prince - her chosen one.
The King, the Scientist and the Father are the three hypostases of the father, giving the girl inner peace.
The king is the father who controls the space where the girl lives. The king influences everyone and ensures stability with his power. The king is a worthy, very worthy person in society. His status allows the girl to feel proud, full of self-respect, dignity and significance.
A scientist is a father, constantly developing and able to learn about the world. Like every woman, a girl considers herself not just a world, but also the Universe, and it is important for her to have a man next to her, not only constantly exploring her inner world, but also helping her to understand herself. A learned father allows the girl to change all the time and, discovering new facets in herself, to be always interesting in the eyes of men.
The third hypostasis is a caring and loving dad - the one who will always support and caress. He will shake his knees, tell a story and give the sweetest feeling in the world that you can always remain small without worrying about anything.
To be sure that you will be taken care of, to feel worthy of attention, respect and all the time to allow yourself to be different - this is what the father gives the girl. Ideally.
And now, armed with this knowledge, let's return to how the whole fate of the girl is connected with her attitude towards her father. How to learn to see the future based on the past?
The algorithm will be easy. To determine the fate of the girl, we need to know how the mother sees the girl's father. After all, it depends on the mother’s decision whether a girl can love her father on her own, or whether she can look at her father through her mother’s eyes until she matures. Figuratively speaking, the girl's mother always keeps her hand on the valve of the pipeline of her daughter's love for her dad. To block love for the father or not - the mother decides.
Having interviewed the girl's mother, we will have very few options for the future of her daughter. I will make a reservation right away that in all scenarios we proceed from the true feelings of the mother and daughter, and not those expressions that we usually hear from people who want to look good in the eyes of others.
Options
Option One: Mom sincerely loves the girl's dad. Mom considers her husband a worthy man - the King. The girl thinks so too. To the stupid question of adults: “Who do you love more - mom or dad?” - replies: "I love both!"Scenario of her future: The girl will be very attractive to men. She will be seen as the Queen. They want to take care of her, provide for her. She will be respected. Great future!
Option Two: Mom considers herself unworthy of the girl's dad. He is the King, and the girl's mother is a Simpleton. The girl idolizes her dad and dreams that she will get “a husband just like dad”.
Scenario of her future: Deep down, the girl hides from herself that she is unhappy with her mother. She thinks: "I would be the best wife for dad." The girl will repeat the path of her mother - she will become the same Simpleton. At the same time, in order to hide her essence, she will try to look very important, as if she is a Queen. He will choose a husband for himself in order to be dissatisfied with his behavior. After 7-10 years after living together, he will seek to divorce him. If she is not aware of her childhood decisions, the girl will get sick, and more and more over the years.
Option Three: Mom considers the girl's dad unpromising, lazy or just an ordinary citizen, not enough stars from the sky. In other words, he considers himself better than him.
Scenario of her future: Whether the girl wants or does not want, and her mother's programming will have an impact on her too. The girl will be Simple. Men will see in her the one that can neither inspire nor hold. She will be disappointed in men and will believe that her mother was right. She will have to work on her own to support her family and she will be dissatisfied with her life. The future is gray!
Option Four: Mom is openly dissatisfied with the girl's dad. The girl protects her mother from her father.
Her future scenario: The girl will look for a husband who is not like her father. In the end, she will choose the one who will poison her life. The girl will become a courageous woman and will consider men a mistake of nature. She herself will perform all male and female work and will acquire masculine features. The girl will claim that her life is beautiful, but the heaviness in her soul will put pressure on everyone. Life will end in loneliness.
Option Five: Mom is openly dissatisfied with the girl's dad. The girl protects her father from her mother.
Scenario of her future: As an adult, the girl becomes the mistress of a married man. With women will be in counter. With the wife of his beloved, too. She will believe in magic, go to folk experts in the hope that she will be helped to get married. Children, or rather, she will have one child. Mom will be loved and pitied. A child will not leave his mother, because he will replace her father. Even if the child is a girl. The future is sad and rather lonely.
That's all the main scenarios. Not thick, right?
The bitter truth is that only in the first option, with permission from the mother to love her father, the daughter will become a happy woman.
The bitter truth is that women pretend in public that they allow their daughters to love their fathers, but in fact, with their discontent, they inspire their girls: “Be unhappy like me! I am unhappy and so you should be!”
Experience confirms this sad trend of women continuing to suffer from generation to generation.
Solution
When a woman divorces, she seeks to return to her father's house in search of that happiness that she could not get as a girl.Happy girls become happy women. Their husbands do not leave them and they do not go into happy loneliness. The happiness of a woman is TOGETHER with a man.
It is impossible to become happy if happiness is lost in childhood, in the parental family. The girl refuses happiness, looking at her mother, who also lost her happiness in her childhood. But she thinks that this man deprived her of happiness.
Happiness is not in men. Happiness is a feeling that is within you. Therefore, your happiness cannot live in another person. No matter how much you would like to shift the responsibility for your happiness to another, but this does not help you feel better.
Of course you want your children to be happy. And very often you think that if you give up your happiness, then the child will have more of it. This is so naive and childishly stupid!
Your children will be happy only if you yourself are illuminated with happiness. Because you can only give to others (children, husband, loved ones) what you yourself possess. Therefore, your main duty is to be happy yourself.
Dear women, if the happiness of your daughters is important to you, with all your appearance, with all your feelings, with your whole body, become happier yourself. Looking at you daughters will also allow themselves happiness.
Children take an example from their parents. When parents have love, children have it too.
Of course, the girl's father also has a great responsibility for the scenario of her daughter's life, and no one can remove this responsibility from him. It's just that no matter what the father is - good or bad - the girl's mother forms an attitude towards men in her child.
A little girl is just a vessel into which parents pour their experience of relationships. And a mother, for the happiness of her child, must take care of what kind of experience she pours - bitter or pleasant in taste. To do this, the mother should not reproach the man she chose for herself, but look at her parents and, finally, DO THE MOST IMPORTANT:
REMOVE ALL CLAIMS FROM YOUR MOM AND DAD.
Only in this case, a new era will begin in her family - an era of stable happiness, mutual respect and long-lived love. And it will be easy for my daughter to support this tradition and pass it on!
P.S. As for the boy under twelve, his fate algorithms are not at all the same as those of his peers. So it will not work to extrapolate the options for the fate of the girl into the boyish ones. The boy was born to learn the secrets of the Universe and the options for his paths of fate are much greater than those of the girl.
“Until the age of 12, a girl is under the wing of her father, and a boy is under the wing of her mother.” This phrase can help predict the future of a child. Unfortunately or fortunately, man is an absolutely programmable being. For the first 7 years, not even 12, each of us is unconsciously programmed, and then all his life he consciously tries to reprogram. Not everyone succeeds. Especially when it is not known what should be changed in the first place.
“Until the age of twelve, a girl is under the wing of her father, and a boy is under the wing of his mother.” This phrase can help predict the future of a child.
Unfortunately or fortunately, man is an absolutely programmable being. For the first 7 years, not even 12, each of us is unconsciously programmed, and then all his life he consciously tries to reprogram. Not everyone succeeds. Especially when it is not known what should be changed in the first place.
And so today Love for father.
In this article, I suggest that you see the scenario for the development of your daughter's fate, or (if you are a woman) check my information with the main milestones of your own life. And perhaps challenge my thinking.
Prelude
In the life of a child, everything depends on the mother, who is a god for her child, but the irony of fate is that the girl is a future mother herself, looks at her father until she is twelve years old and waits for his boundless love.
The whole picture of her fate depends on how a girl in the depths of her soul looks at her father, on whether she can receive his love.
Namely: will she be divorced, will she live in prosperity, will she have to work hard, will she live to old age surrounded by her loved ones, will she be left alone, will she get a caring husband or one from whom she will dream of running away.
All relationships with men, absolutely everything, depend on how we look at dad. OR ON THE ONE WHO STANDS IN THIS PLACE.
This rule applies to both women and men. All of us, both men and women, use the same communication strategy from childhood, which we later simply project onto everyone who comes across us in everyday life.
Simply put, if we are offended by dad, we will be offended by all men. In the same way, if we are offended by our mother, having matured, we will look for a reason in women to be offended and break off relations.
We project our feelings from those who were in our childhood to those who are in our environment now. Unfortunately, most people in the world do not realize that they see other people through the lens of their childhood feelings and decisions. And, pardon the pun, these distortions distort relationships so much that you want to break out of them and run away.
This is the first thing we need to know in order to be able to foresee fate. Secondly, it is important to understand what her father means to a girl.
A girl under 12 is emotionally very strongly connected with her father. She expects more attention and love from him than from her mother. Dad is a source of peace for her, just like a greenhouse for a delicate and fragile flower.
Look at the picture. This shot is from the movie Cinderella. Behind our girl: King, Scientist and Father. With such a retinue, she is calm, and looks kindly at the Prince - her chosen one.
The King, the Scientist and the Father are the three hypostases of the father, giving the girl inner peace.
The king is the father who controls the space where the girl lives. The king influences everyone and ensures stability with his power. The king is a worthy, very worthy person in society. His status allows the girl to feel proud, full of self-respect, dignity and significance.
A scientist is a father, constantly developing and able to learn about the world. Like every woman, a girl considers herself not just a world, but also the Universe, and it is important for her to have a man next to her, not only constantly exploring her inner world, but also helping her to understand herself. A learned father allows the girl to change all the time and, discovering new facets in herself, to be always interesting in the eyes of men.
The third hypostasis is a caring and loving dad - the one who will always support and caress. He will shake his knees, tell a story and give the sweetest feeling in the world that you can always remain small without worrying about anything.
To be sure that you will be taken care of, to feel worthy of attention, respect and all the time to allow yourself to be different - this is what the father gives the girl. Ideally.
And now, armed with this knowledge, let's return to how the whole fate of the girl is connected with her attitude towards her father. How to learn to see the future based on the past?
The algorithm will be easy. To determine the fate of the girl, we need to know how the mother sees the girl's father. After all, it depends on the mother’s decision whether a girl can love her father on her own, or whether she can look at her father through her mother’s eyes until she matures. Figuratively speaking, the girl's mother always keeps her hand on the valve of the pipeline of her daughter's love for her dad. To block love for the father or not - the mother decides.
Having interviewed the girl's mother, we will have very few options for the future of her daughter. I will make a reservation right away that in all scenarios we proceed from the true feelings of the mother and daughter, and not those expressions that we usually hear from people who want to look good in the eyes of others.
Options
Option One: The mother sincerely loves the girl's father. Mom considers her husband a worthy man - the King. The girl thinks so too. To the stupid question of adults: “Who do you love more - mom or dad?” - replies: "I love both!"
Scenario of her future: The girl will be very attractive to men. She will be seen as the Queen. They want to take care of her, provide for her. She will be respected. Great future!
Option Two: Mom considers herself unworthy of the girl's dad. He is the King, and the girl's mother is a Simpleton. The girl idolizes her dad and dreams that she will get “a husband just like dad”.
Scenario of her future: Deep down, the girl hides from herself that she is unhappy with her mother. She thinks: "I would be the best wife for dad." The girl will repeat the path of her mother - she will become the same Simpleton. At the same time, in order to hide her essence, she will try to look very important, as if she is a Queen. He will choose a husband for himself in order to be dissatisfied with his behavior. After 7-10 years after living together, he will seek to divorce him. If she is not aware of her childhood decisions, the girl will get sick, and more and more over the years.
Option Three: Mom considers the girl's dad unpromising, lazy or just an ordinary citizen, not enough stars from the sky. In other words, he considers himself better than him.
Scenario of her future: Whether the girl wants or does not want, her mother's programming will have an impact on her too. The girl will be Simple. Men will see in her the one that can neither inspire nor hold. She will be disappointed in men and will believe that her mother was right. She will have to work on her own to support her family and she will be dissatisfied with her life. The future is gray!
Option Four: The mother is openly dissatisfied with the girl's father. The girl protects her mother from her father.
Scenario of her future: The girl will look for a husband who is not like her father. In the end, she will choose the one who will poison her life. The girl will become a courageous woman and will consider men a mistake of nature. She herself will perform all male and female work and will acquire masculine features. The girl will claim that her life is beautiful, but the heaviness in her soul will put pressure on everyone. Life will end in loneliness.
Option Five: The mother is openly dissatisfied with the girl's father. The girl protects her father from her mother.
Scenario of her future: As an adult, the girl becomes the mistress of a married man. With women will be in counter. With the wife of his beloved, too. She will believe in magic, go to folk experts in the hope that she will be helped to get married. Children, or rather, she will have one child. Mom will be loved and pitied. A child will not leave his mother, because he will replace her father. Even if the child is a girl. The future is sad and rather lonely.
That's all the main scenarios. Not thick, right?
The bitter truth is that only in the first option, with permission from the mother to love her father, the daughter will become a happy woman.
The bitter truth is that women pretend in public that they allow their daughters to love their fathers, but in fact, with their discontent, they inspire their girls: “Be unhappy like me! I am unhappy and so you should be!”
Experience confirms this sad trend of women continuing to suffer from generation to generation.
Solution
When a woman divorces, she seeks to return to her father's house in search of that happiness that she could not get as a girl.
Happy girls become happy women. Their husbands do not leave them and they do not go into happy loneliness. The happiness of a woman is TOGETHER with a man.
It is impossible to become happy if happiness is lost in childhood, in the parental family. The girl refuses happiness, looking at her mother, who also lost her happiness in her childhood. But she thinks that this man deprived her of happiness.
Happiness is not in men. Happiness is a feeling that is within you. Therefore, your happiness cannot live in another person. No matter how much you would like to shift the responsibility for your happiness to another, but this does not help you feel better.
Of course you want your children to be happy. And very often you think that if you give up your happiness, then the child will have more of it. This is so naive and childishly stupid!
Your children will be happy only if you yourself are illuminated with happiness. Because you can only give to others (children, husband, loved ones) what you yourself possess. Therefore, your main duty is to be happy yourself.
Dear women, if the happiness of your daughters is important to you, with all your appearance, with all your feelings, with your whole body, become happier yourself. Looking at you daughters will also allow themselves happiness.
Children take an example from their parents. When parents have love, children have it too.
Of course, the girl's father also has a great responsibility for the scenario of her daughter's life, and no one can remove this responsibility from him. It's just that no matter what father is - good or bad - the mother of the girl forms in her child an attitude towards men.
A little girl is just a vessel into which parents pour their experience of relationships. And a mother, for the happiness of her child, must take care of what kind of experience she pours - bitter or pleasant in taste. To do this, the mother should not reproach the man she chose for herself, but look at her parents and, finally, DO THE MOST IMPORTANT:
REMOVE ALL CLAIMS FROM YOUR MOM AND DAD.
Only in this case, a new era will begin in her family - an era of stable happiness, mutual respect and long-lived love. And it will be easy for my daughter to support this tradition and pass it on!
P.S. As for the boy under twelve, his fate algorithms are not at all the same as those of his peers. So it will not work to extrapolate the options for the fate of the girl into the boyish ones. The boy was born to learn the secrets of the Universe and the options for his paths of fate are much greater than those of the girl. published
