Cold and harsh, like an iceberg in the ocean: can men love? Can a man love: definition, concept, manifestation and psychological aspects of love

Can any of us see love? Who can see this feeling in the eyes of his counterpart? And how to read in the eyes of a restrained and strict man the strongest and most amazing feeling? This question excites the minds of almost all women at least once in their lives. Each of us wants to know if a man loves me, appreciates and is afraid to lose. It is for this reason that we look for chamomile on the field and cut off its petals with the words: “Loves, does not love, presses to the heart ...”. And this is understandable, because a woman, in turn, if she is in love, she tries to demonstrate in such a way that only the blind and deaf will not understand her feelings.

But with the male half is a little more complicated. Only in children school years You can understand that he likes you. He will start pulling your pigtails for no reason, carrying a briefcase, writing for you homework. But already, as adults, men try to hide their feelings. And everyone needs to learn how to read them, someone now and then is tormented by doubts.

Causes of women's doubts

There is probably not a single representative of the fair sex who, at least once in her life, has not asserted to herself that all men are the same, they only need one thing from women, they always lie in everything, etc.

No one will refute the fact that among men, as well as among women, there are types for whom a lie is a middle name. And, quite often, frivolous men turn ladies' heads with only one purpose - to put them to bed, have fun and wave their hands. That is, they use the weaker sex to satisfy their lustful desires. Naturally, we are afraid of this and for this reason we want to be sure that the person who cares for us or the beloved truly feels a sincere and pure feeling for us.

Another situation - you have lived with your husband for many years, and it seems that he has cooled off. How to understand what his feelings are towards you, or maybe he and he constantly thinks about her? After all, no one will be surprised by the fact that after for long years happy life it costs nothing for men to leave the family and go over to another woman. At the same time, cynical types do not hide their happiness found with their mistress, and rather easily refuse those who have given him joy and unconditional love for many years.

It is not without reason that a woman tries to find out the truth, so she plans her life and the life of her children at the subconscious level. Depending on how strong and harmonious the family will be, full-fledged personalities will grow out of children. She also seeks to guarantee a calm future for herself, to be sure that in old age she will have someone to rely on and share shelter. All of the above, as we have already made it clear to everyone, has serious grounds. And to help women decide whether her chosen one loves her or not, we suggest following the advice of experienced psychologists.

The best ways to find out - likes or dislikes

Before presenting ways to recognize the truth, think again - do you want to know the truth? Maybe it makes sense to start to take a closer look and stop deceiving yourself? Perhaps there are all the prerequisites for the fact that as a result of the analysis, you will understand that the man has long cooled off towards you and does not feel love, but rather the opposite feeling or pity. Alright, warning given, let's get started.

Does my boyfriend love me

Now we will talk about the feelings of a man for you for another initial stage relations. The following items will help young girls who ask themselves the question - "loves or not" to decide. The answers received, female intuition and other tricks will allow us to conclude whether to continue relations with him or not to waste time. When analyzing, one should pay attention not only to words, but also to actions, and the expression of the eyes.

He doesn't take his eyes off you. True sign the fact that a man is beside himself with the happiness of communicating with you. He admires all the features that nature has given. The lover cannot take his eyes off your lips, eyebrows, eyelashes. Any wave of the eyelids, smile, breath - everything delights and excites the desire to be closer. You are the best thing in the world for him. And no Jennifer Lawrence, Svetlana Loboda, Ani Lorak, Angelina Jolie are nice to him, they are not good for you. And now, looking up, you meet his eyes. How much tenderness and happiness in them! All this indicates at least a strong passion, but as a rule, the situation indicates love.

He is looking for a meeting. Doesn't it seem strange to you that wherever you go, it always appears before your eyes. We decided to take a walk in the park, and he was right there - joyful, happy. Friends invited to a party, at least half an hour later he appears on the horizon - satisfied, with an open smile. We went to the store, wow, he was just passing by your house and is ready to join the company without any problems, to help bring groceries to the door. Excuse me, does he have other things to do? Apparently, a strong sympathy has already arisen, but it has not yet reached that very strong feeling. As soon as he refuses to spend time with friends at all and begins to devote time every day only to you - this is love, do not even doubt it.

Every joke has its share of jokes. If a guy every now and then tries to amuse you and he doesn’t care if other party participants laugh at his jokes, there is a signal, a sign of attention. And interestingly, you already understand this and know that in his jokes, witticisms, the moments relating to your relationship are sure to “fly by”. Well, very soon all the jokes will be swept aside and there will be recognition. If it's not about love, then at least a strong sympathy. And that's where it starts strong feeling.

Openness. Men, as a rule, do not like to share their secrets with strangers. Even his friends do not always know what is happening in his house, who is his brother, sister, where his parents work, whether they are divorced or not. And if he began to be frank with you, without divulging his secrets to others, be prepared for a serious relationship. Especially if he gladly tells what his sister or brother did, what moralizing his mother read before he went for a walk. Only relatives can know this, and you, apparently, are the person with whom he would like to get close. And what do you think - for the sake of friendship? Do not make me laugh - friendly relations between outsiders a man and a woman can not be! You can read about the friendship of a man and a woman.

He remembers everything about you. You noticed how funny he repeats your behavior, the actions that you did. Even the intonation of the phrases or words you uttered - and then he remembers to the point. Moreover, the guy remembers all your meetings, from the first to the last. At the same time, he easily feels your mood and adjusts to it in the blink of an eye. And if you just hinted that you want something, he will immediately rush to fulfill it. And yet, you didn’t seem to do anything special, you just fiddled more with curls today. He noticed that, and also that you have a slightly different shade of lipstick. And how beautifully your new dress fits you, light sandals. Agree, an indifferent person is unlikely to be so attentive. We are simply in love with you, and apparently, seriously and for a long time!

He is interested in everything about you. Sometimes you get tired of his constant questions, but if there is a “virus” of sympathy in you, then there will be no irritation. He is interested in your family, childhood, occupation, studies. He asks a question about plans for the future, intentions, because in his heart he hopes that there will be a place for him in them. He is also very curious about your daily routine, otherwise how will he be able to “tweak” another unexpected meeting. And yet, in this way, a man reveals your attitude towards him. After all, if you are frank, then you are also not indifferent to his attention. And what does all this say? Of course, about sympathy, which will definitely grow into love!

Special treatment. You could not help but pay attention to the fact that the guy distinguishes you from the total number of friends and even beautiful girlfriends. If he tells something important, he only turns to you. When taking orders, he is primarily interested in what you would like to eat and drink. Where we go to rest - and then meeting with your eyes - "Tell me what you want, and I will fulfill everything!". It is this phrase that reflects his attentiveness and participation. It got a little cold in the yard - and the trace caught a cold, he ran into the house and drags a blanket and the first one who finds himself in the arms of warmth is you. Sometimes you even feel a little uncomfortable for being taken care of more than others. Nothing can be done, this is love, and she is selfish and does not pay attention to the opinions of others.

He is generous. A man in love with you is ready to give anything, even if it is financially difficult for him. Any trip, the most expensive dish, drink, jewel, etc. At your request, he will rush at least during the day, at least at night, in winter, in summer. A person who is ready to help at any moment sincerely loves you and will do everything so that you do not feel problems and worries.

For you, ready for anything. A sign that a person loves you deeply and sincerely is his actions. How many times did guys try to prove their love by being ready to jump from a roof, from a cliff, swim across a lake, etc. But no matter how pleasant it is for you, do not tempt. Just accept his feeling and stop taking risks. Go ahead and know how it ends.

He invited you to visit him and wants to introduce you to his family. True sign the fact that a person in love has far-reaching plans for life with you. Believe me, if he had been indifferent, he would never have brought him to his house and introduced him to mom, dad and other family members.

Phrases that a man in love says

As everyone knows, women love with their ears. And for our pleasure, men are no exception, they try to prove their love by saying certain words that you must remember:

I love you;
you are not more beautiful;
I want and friends;
how much would you like to have children;
I don't want to keep secrets from you;
I fear most of all that I will disappoint you;
it's only been a couple of days, and I'm already bored;
I'm worried about you, I'm worried;
do not go out undressed, eat so that you are not hungry;
what pills you need to buy, I instantly go to the pharmacy and to you.

The above and other phrases through which a man tries to show care, concern for you and the desire to get closer speak only about one thing - a strong feeling towards you.

Also, the lack of love can be determined by the moments that never accompany a sincere feeling:

hide your attitude, feelings;
will not worry about the state of your health;
he is not worried about why you are in a bad mood;
he does not introduce either friends or relatives;
when it’s hard for you, he withdraws himself;
he doesn't care what you think of him;
never shares his plans for the future;
will come up with anything, just not to meet you;
not interested in your plans, your life, interests, etc.

Signs indicating love

We list briefly the main signs, thanks to which you can also be convinced of the sincerity of a man's feelings for you.

Ready to share with you both joy and sorrow.
Looks at you with love and eagerly, especially in those moments when you do not see it.
You feel bad - comforts, good - tries to maintain a positive attitude.
Proud of your successes and victories.
Always there in difficult times.
During sexual contact, first of all, he thinks that you will enjoy it.
Every sex is like the first for him.
Perfectly aware of your taste in all plans, likes and even the foods you are allergic to.
In everything and always agree with you.
No matter how negative his mood is, you will never fall under his arms.
Will do anything to please your family and friends.

How to understand - what he does not like

Someone will object and note that if a person has cooled off and fallen out of love, then special evidence is not needed. But, not all women know how to determine the attitude of a man. What can be understood when the relationship, it seems, is just beginning. And the girl cannot recognize whether he likes it or not. Does it make sense to make plans for him, or do you need to put up with what she just thought. Secondly, there are moments when a man does not really try to admit it and show through his actions. The reason for this may be various factors, up to unwillingness to change the familiar environment, but at the same time have a strong love relationship on the side. So, what should you pay attention to:

He is not going to change his negative habits and his usual way of life, in which there is simply no place for you.
He does not seek to maintain a conversation on the phone and does everything to turn off the device.
He does not seek meetings with you, he tries to reduce the time of communication.
He doesn’t care whether you are offended or not by his act, phrase.
He categorically does not discuss his prospects for the future.
He does not frankly, gets annoyed at your questions about his family, relatives and friends.
Often lies. Of course, it can be a trait of character, to constantly lie, or he absolutely does not care that you catch him in deception.
It is difficult for you - but he does not show himself in any way, does not seek to substitute his shoulder.
Points out your shortcomings. If a man loves, then he will never notice that your hair is badly styled today, or their color does not match fashion. But if he does not love or has cooled off, then expect reproaches about appearance and habits. For example, no one says that smoking is good. But loving person will create conditions for a woman to quickly quit addiction, and not a lover will call names “ashtray”, “cigarette butt”, point to bad smell from the mouth, etc.

To clarify on specific example what is "Dislike", we offer you to get acquainted with the situation that my close girlfriend whose name is Svetlana.

Sveta and Dmitry met about two years ago and it cannot be said that all of the above points about sincere love were present in their relationship. But still there was a possibility that he was, to put it mildly, not indifferent to her. There were flowers, and care, and recognition. But after about a year and a half, moments began to arise that directly indicated his coldness.

For us it all started with a party where the guys went together. A distant relative of mutual friends was present there. Apparently, Dima had already repeatedly encountered her, as he knew her by name and immediately began to joke with her, whisper, invite her to dances. There were manifestations of dislike: Dima immediately forgot about the existence of Sveta and did not even think that it would be necessary to look after her at the table. He poured drinks and poured salad into a plate only for a newly-made acquaintance.

Approximately an hour after the start of the celebration, it became sharply colder, and they rested in the country. Dmitry immediately rushed into the house, brought warm blankets(fortunately, I had the conscience to bring a few), but I ran to cover the new young lady from the cold. Further - even worse. Svetlana received a call from home - her mother's blood pressure had risen. Dima offered to call a taxi and, apologetically, asked Sveta for permission to continue resting with friends. He returned home on the second day, said that he had spent the night with the same friends.

What happened next is hard to tell. Svetlana tried with all her might to keep her beloved and until the last did not believe that he no longer loved her. He left about 2 months after the case described at the dacha, and before that he fully corresponded to the signs of a lack of love that we indicated above. Svetlana suffered for a long time, we hardly brought her back to life. IN last month she moved away a little, but still the stress that she experienced from Dmitry's betrayal still echoes.

It would seem a banal, unfortunately, the situation. But here's the thing. Well, Dmitry could not stop loving in one day. Most likely, he showed his attitude much earlier, and Svetlana had to decipher them. Coming to her senses, she gradually shared with me and told me, long before meeting the new girl, he already had a chill. Even then, he didn’t care how she survived the flu and, with a calm soul, went with friends to a ski resort. When elderly mother Svetlana needed to be transported home from the clinic, he completely refused and was not shy in expressions. She had to hire a neighbor, pay for gas, and, remarkably, she hid all this from her closest friends.

As you can see, he did not even try to lie or come up with something. So, if she said that she would leave, then he would have wished “Good riddance!”. He didn't care that his girlfriend would just be offended. Whom did she deceive? Yourself or us? So I ended up with an unpleasant ending to a relationship in which the main feeling ceased to reign - love.

Doubt Triangle

Another quite common situation - love triangle. Because of his polygamy, a man can actually be in love with not one, but several women. Of course, this cannot be called a real feeling. IN this case the question should be asked point-blank. Believe me, if you directly, looking into your eyes, ask - “Do you love me?”, “Do you have another”, then he should also directly answer “Yes” or “No!”. As soon as he starts to dodge, to play up - something is wrong, doubts should arise in his feelings. Demand, let him make a choice, otherwise, look how well he settled! If he really sincerely loves you and is afraid of losing you, then he will break off relations with the other and will belong completely only to you.

So, we went through a short training course on "revealing" the secrets of a man, namely, his sincerity towards you. Apply these methods and do not be shy. Of course, those who are afraid to hear no and to reveal lies in the habits of the gentleman need to save their nerves and not follow our recommendations. But look at your life from the outside, try to sneak a peek into the future. Well? You like the prospect of your existence next to someone who does not love you and will never appreciate you. So you can lose time and lose a meeting that will change your life for the better. Remember the phrase from the movie “It's good that you left me. Then I would have missed each other in life with a dear and beloved person for me. So thank you for doing so!” Think for yourself...

All for now.
Sincerely, Vyacheslav.

Children's fairy tales about princesses and adults about successful ladies from the pages of glossy magazines are often shown to us beautiful story about love - insidious, romantic, sometimes unrequited and tragic, but always bright. And it is not surprising that every girl grows up with a dream of her own prince, albeit from a parallel class, but who will only protect her and only take care of her.

well and real life prepares its surprises and surprises, love can lie in wait just around the corner, and close person turn out to be a boy from a neighboring entrance, it’s just that you didn’t notice before that he has the most beautiful eyes in the world. Only this feeling is not always mutual and not everyone knows how to understand if a man loves you, or they confuse a strong attraction with simple sympathy or a desire for intimacy.

Having fallen in love, a woman tries to understand herself, and first of all her emotions. Later, the key question becomes how to find out if a man loves her, what are his intentions and innermost thoughts. Although they say that someone else's soul is dark, but with proper observation, you can take a chance and try not to get lost in these darkness.

Is there love in his heart?

How to understand if a man loves you? You can already notice the change by his direct attitude during meetings. So, the lover will never stoop to humiliate the one that is dear to him. Moreover, he will not stipulate it in the eyes of others either. Even if she is not around, he will never make fun of her person.

Tantrums, undisguised aggression, scenes of jealousy do not indicate a real feeling. Some philosophers even spoke out that jealousy is not a sign of love, but a kind of mental illness caused by a sense of ownership. That is, a person may not feel tenderness for his soulmate, but be jealous of her severely simply because he considers it his personal thing. A loving man shows signs of his feelings differently, without causing pain. Otherwise, it is selfishness on his part, not love.

And also, in the event that a guy truly loves, then he will not save on his girlfriend, and we are talking not only about material goods, but also about attention. Spending evenings and walking with friends at night while a woman is waiting for him at home alone is not an option for a man in love.

Expression of feelings

Attentiveness to the chosen one will tell you how to define love. In a lover, the ability to see a lot in a small thing is surprisingly sharpened, and this applies exclusively to the object of adoration. Any nuances, trifles that are not noticeable at first glance, are noticed, and this allows you to get to know your loved one more deeply, understand his thoughts and share interests.

A man who loves will always look for meetings, and not run away under ridiculous pretexts, and behavior can change dramatically - bragging and playing in public next to his beloved are inappropriate, subconsciously the guy strives to be better, more gentle, more caring.

Wanting doesn't mean he loves

An important aspect that tells how to understand if a man loves you is his attitude towards sex. The one who protects and worries about you will never insist on intimacy, blackmail, put pressure on the psyche, but will give a woman a choice, because for a lover it is more important to be there, to hug, to hold hands than to know that the girl simply succumbed to persuasion or threats to break off relations.

Do gifts speak of true feelings?

Brought up on somewhat distorted examples of cheap melodramas and beautiful fairy tales from the "gloss" girls often believe that a variety of presents - from a box of chocolates to a fashionable gadget - confirm the seriousness of the fan's feelings. Does it show loving man signs of cordial affection just so?

Rather yes than no, because you really want to sincerely please your soulmate with gifts and surprises. On the other hand, attention and the ability to turn a simple walk in the park into a holiday for two can become a wonderful alternative to gifts. Moreover, the option is also possible in which the guy just wants to buy the girl or pays for her feelings.

Does a man love: verbal signs

Someone believes that no words are needed for real feelings, for someone, on the contrary, just beautiful phrases and ornate turns and are a confirmation of feelings, but how is it really?

Speech is one of the simplest ways to show love, so a man who loves and knows that his chosen one is pleased to hear about a feeling will talk and talk, and it doesn’t matter at all whether he has the gift of eloquence.

Moreover, love gradually works wonders: if a person really wants to prove his thoughts in words, he will learn to put them in such a form that some poet will envy.

Support and support

True love does not live without mutual support, a sincere desire to help and be needed, so a man who experiences this bright and strong feeling will always strive to be there, become a support for the girl, take care of her and help solve her problems, regardless of his own. opportunities. Sometimes, after all, advice and understanding are enough to make the burden lighter, and the difficulties experienced together unite.

No ultimatums

How to understand if a man loves you if he seems to want to be around, but constantly or periodically puts before a choice that is unpleasant or impossible for a girl (for example, who wants to choose between best friend and guy).

Ultimatums do not confirm the feeling, but refute it, because the one who truly loves does not extort anything in return. He will patiently wait as long as it takes, hope and be somewhere near.

Treason

Tales about how a guy cheats in order to once again make sure of the exclusivity of his beloved, leave for naive fools. A man who does not doubt his feelings will never stoop to betrayal, will not be able to hurt the one who trusted him.

If the chosen one is married to another, then he will not keep his beloved in the dark about his marital status or feed empty promises, eventually breaking several destinies at once.

Can men love or not?

Disappointed ladies sometimes throw in their hearts that the stronger sex is not capable of experiencing this feeling, but are they right in their rash judgments? No, love is not alien to anyone, and a man is quite capable of falling in love, worrying and staying up at night, writing poetry and waiting until morning under the windows, traveling hundreds and thousands of kilometers to be around for several hours, just hold your hand and enjoy the voice, look, smile. Existence turns into life only love, only it gives the fullness of the energy of each day and the key to self-knowledge.

And almost all women wonder - how is it, if a man truly loves? And is the stronger sex capable of experiencing this feeling at all?

The question may seem strictly philosophical, but by no means lengthy considerations will be the answer to it.

Refer to the works of practicing psychologists - many of them not only speak, but also help people understand themselves, become happy here and now.

How to distract from thoughts about a loved one? help you!

Does true love exist?

Of course there is. Moreover - the world rests on it.

If a person certainly needs, he you should go to a psychologist. Let him deal with his. He wants games, actions, "movement" as they say today, emotions. True love cannot stand such games of chance.

If you truly love, then no sacrifice is needed. Most main man in everyone's life - you yourself.

If you love yourself. If you give up your own values in the name of someone, there is no talk of love.

You can give in to the little things improve yourself, but do not break. If a loved one sets a condition for you: do not work, stay at home with the children, I decided so. And you can’t help but work, besides being a wife and mother, you are also an excellent teacher, for example!

Such conditions are from the category of “I feel so comfortable”, it has nothing to do with the unconditional acceptance of a loved one with his goals, aspirations, and opportunities.

Man's love

Very strange question can men really love. There is no difference between the sexes in this. Of course they can.

And if you doubt this, then you may have become attached to a person who does not love you. And you don’t even want to think that someone else will take the place next to you.

In this aspect, it is often remembered male polygamy.

Men are all the same, they cannot love one woman, it is naturally conditioned, etc. Good excuse, beautiful, biting. But it's an excuse!

If a man loves himself and respects, if he met a woman whom he truly loved, he there is no need to supplement your life with some other emotions with other women. He doesn't need it, he doesn't care.

Another frequently asked question: can an alcoholic really love a woman? Alcoholism- This mental illness, chemical dependence. Alcoholism always (note - always) leads to intellectual and physical degradation.

This means that invariably over time moral and ethical values that are in the mind of a person will degrade. Alcoholics have a lower threshold for being critical of themselves and the world.

In a word, we can say that a true alcoholic is spiritually disabled person. Can he love?

It depends on the degree of the disease, but every year of alcohol abuse a person loses many emotional and moral needs and abilities, including the ability to love.

What is love for a troubled man based on? Psychologist's answer:

Parables and sayings

There is one interesting parable. One day, a teacher found out that one of his students was in love and was seeking his love. He advised him to lag behind the man, because love cannot be demanded.

The student was surprised, to which the teacher said that when they try to break into your door, you only lock yourself harder.

What to do, asked the student? The teacher advised him to become a welcome guest, and then the doors will be opened for you.

Love a person sincerely genuine, don't try to make yourself look bigger than you are. Neither attract too much attention, but let me know - modestly and unobtrusively - that you are there, and you are the one who can help.

The flower does not chase the bees, but simply attracts them with its nectar. So love is the nectar that people flock to.

The moral here is simple: You can't ask for love. If this is your man, he will not pass by. Be yourself, show your kindness and human warmth, without obsession and bravado.

Here you can remember statements of the above-mentioned M. Labkovsky:

Don't look for love from . Don't waste your time: You're not looking for meat in a fish store. He does not need a second wife, he already has one at home.
Think about whether you want to get married or want to fall in love. These are different things. Marriage is an attribute, visibility. Love is real, content. If you have a healthy need to love, there will be a person who will reciprocate it.
If some person replaces you the whole world It means that you simply do not have your own world.

If a man is not ready to start a family and in general serious relationship does not demonstrate, giving him a chance, you, with a high probability, are just wasting time. Your time, mind you.

Parable about love:

Does she pass?

Feelings can run dry. People break up, get divorced, find new happiness.

But that doesn't mean they didn't love. Relationships are a mechanism that can fail. But it can be fixed if both really want it.

And they don't rust at all utopian feelings, memories from the past that we varnish, gloss, idealize.

The whole horror is that many people live their whole lives with these glossy memories or the illusion of true unfulfilled love. True love is the one that came true for both.

Feelings can be adults, mature. If you are healthy in a psychological sense, then you will not run after infantile passions and attachments. It is worth understanding that we have one life, and that it makes sense to spend it happy man, loving and loved.

History knows many examples of polygamy, and in many countries of the world this tradition continues, which speaks in favor of the fact that a man can like several women at the same time.

Yes, to anyone young man familiar feeling when, being in the company pretty girls, you literally don’t know who to look at, everyone is so good.

In contact with

One day at a seminar family psychology one of the speakers addressed the audience with a request: “I ask you to be extremely frank. Please raise your hands if you, being married, fell in love with another person at the same time.

In the hall, where men and women with solid family experience were sitting, a whole forest of hands went up. “And now, the speaker continued, I ask those who left the family because of this love to raise their hands.”

This time not a single hand was raised, and the speaker said: "I will be happy to speak in front of such a truly adult audience." If "truly grown-up" people are so unanimous about falling in love, where does the question arise - two women at the same time? Psychology has its own opinion on this matter.

Being at the same time not indifferent to several women at once is quite natural for a young free man. Although psychology refers to such "lovingness" only as a way to find a single companion for life.

Can a man be indifferent at the same time and can a man love two women equally - this is completely different questions V male psychology. Despite sympathy for several girlfriends, a man must decide which of them he feels more comfortable with - a self-confident, caring man or a devoted dog, depending on the mood of the hostess.

Can a man love two women at the same time? Many men are often in a hurry and mistake love for love, or even just sexual attraction. Even the ancient Greeks understood psychology and knew that, despite the similarity of sensations, these feelings cannot be called in one word:

Falling in love, no matter how strong it may seem, is short-lived, and very soon.
Love, as psychology characterizes, craves emotional pleasures for itself, draws in the imagination passionate scenes of intimacy (“weaving hands, weaving legs”), makes us “lose consciousness” from the voice of our beloved, overshadows the mind and takes away the ability to control oneself, that is, it borders on obsession .
Love longs for happiness not only for itself, it shows care and interest in the object of sympathy as a person, looks ahead, not looking for benefits even in emotionally, but assuming a long coexistence in any circumstances.
He truly falls asleep and wakes up with thoughts of his beloved, his heart and every cell are filled with dreams and plans, where only she is present. In such a heart there is no room for any other woman, and the question whether a man can love two women at the same time does not arise.
If a man is tormented by doubts and he is trying to find out whether a man can love two women at the same time, psychology sees the explanation in the fact that a person has not known true love and is simply looking for an excuse for his failure.

When a man is guided not only by the psychology of sensual egoism, but at the same time by prudence, a stronger feeling necessarily comes to him than falling in love.

What does psychology say about those who can love one and live with another?

still remains a mystery behind seven seals for researchers of this extraordinary feeling.

Psychology cannot explain why many "fatal" for famous men women were not distinguished by either special beauty or mild disposition. Like, for example, the fatal muse of V. Mayakovsky, Lilia Brik.

And what makes hundreds and thousands of men sigh for some women and at the same time live with others? And can a man love one and live with another? Psychology does not consider such a situation phenomenal. There are several reasons for this state of affairs, depending on the male psychotype.

"As everybody"

A man receives a decisive rejection of the object of love, but the psychology of the proud man does not allow him. In order not to vegetate alone, he gets himself a wife or cohabitant and drags out his existence "like everyone else" - with a lifelong internal conflict, secret love and at the same time - resentment towards women.

“Because you can’t ... be beautiful like that”

Almost the same. The man does not even try to tell his beloved about his feelings, because he considers her ... too beautiful and inaccessible. realizing that female beauty requires sacrifice, the man decides not to tempt fate and be content with a less exotic gift - not the most beautiful and not too beloved woman.

"Foolishly drunk"

Intoxicated with youthful passion, young people often bind themselves with the bonds of Hymen. Such daredevils are often provoked by the fact that the beauty turned out to be “too tough” for everyone else, but “showed mercy” to him. Another option - the girl got into " interesting position", and a sense of duty obligated ...

Passionate love, like "love" out of a sense of duty, passes through time, the young man meets true love, but he does not dare to destroy the family, so he lives with one, and at the same time loves the other.

The life circumstances that force men to live with the wrong women they are in love with are incomparably more than the article can fit. But in each case, psychology draws attention to the main thing - the psychological immaturity of such men.

Why does it happen that they love some and marry others?

There are many situations in which a man is unable to marry for love. The options described above are also relevant. But they can be supplemented.

"Not yet evening"

A variation of the already considered version of events can be called the psychology of a man who put off his declaration of love for a long time, and when he finally decided, his passion turned out to be occupied by another.

In revenge, he “also” marries another, and all his life, like a vile reptile that has bitten his victim, watches from afar the life of his beloved, hoping that her marriage will successfully break up, or her husband will go to the forefathers, or, finally, she herself will “come to her senses.” and crawl to him on his knees.

Psychology is silent about how, in this case, they are going to deal with their real wife.

"Not comme il faut?"

The “fear” of men is opposed by another phenomenon known in psychology. A man falls in love with a woman who is… shy. Either she is not as presentable as the lady from his circle of friends, or not as educated, or much lower than him in social status- doesn't matter.

He knows that marriage to this woman will not win the approval of his relatives, friends, or work colleagues. The psychology of "what they say" makes a man marry a lady from his circle, at the same time destroying not only his own, but also her life.

"Yazhemat"

An extremely rare option in our time, but familiar to psychology, is when a mother chooses a wife for her son. Mom is not interested in the psychology of her "child", and the girls he likes are perceived as impudent contenders for the mother's place in his heart.

Such situations are typical for families where the boy grew up in a totalitarian female environment. He can love a woman. But he is obliged to marry the one who, in the opinion of his mother, is worthy of him. That is why men love some and marry others, and psychology knows many other circumstances.

One woman for life: does it happen?

There are so many myths and curiosity around male monogamists that it is impossible to ignore the question, can a man love one woman all his life?

For some reason, it seems to many that such men must necessarily be inferior in some way - they are credited with either physical ugliness, or failure in career growth, or sexual disability, or religious obscurantism.

All in all, positive feedback about deep feelings the only woman not enough among the people.

But let everyone turn to the past own family- Is it bad to dream that parents live their whole lives in perfect harmony? If so, how can such a life be called defective in some way?

The psychology of men who deny monogamous love is quite understandable:

They live with a woman who serves them, supports them and loves them in her own way. They, while formally “loving” one, at the same time have feelings for another woman, perhaps also not free. No one dares to cut this Gordian knot, and this suits the man quite well. Moreover, he is sure that a man can love two women at the same time.
another type is unthinkable without romantic adventures and holiday romances. In such families, it is customary to "rest from each other", going on vacation one by one. These are also sure that a man can love two women at the same time.
There is also a type of men who consider the institution of the family an endangered type of relationship.

But let's try to look into ourselves and ask - wouldn't we like to meet true love? And is it possible to question the value of the family? What is called the cell of society, what is the basis of the human population and at the same time keeps the human race from extinction?

Psychology does not call for a man's love for one woman to make him a slave and "inadequate" in relation to other ladies. But the beauty of love lies in the ability to survive any trials (even a sudden surge of love) and remain faithful to one beloved to the end.

Useful video

The situation becomes incredibly complex and confusing when the question arises in the girl's mind: can a man love two? What psychologists think about this can be seen in the video below:

Conclusion

Psychology does not give a positive answer to the question of whether a man can love two women at the same time.
Psychology recommends distinguishing between such concepts as love and falling in love and does not consider them synonymous.
Men who justify their promiscuity by the ability to love two women at the same time, psychology calls socially and psychologically immature people.

Humanity tends to experience a whole range of experiences. However, they feel different people this range in different ways. For some, the slightest display of emotion will become a weakness in character, a crack in the armor. For others, it will be the creation of a whole new world filled with sensations, bright colors and fireworks. The difference between the emotions of male and female is especially characteristic. Women are not shy about manifestations; this, in fact, forms the basis of behavior. Guys perceive emotionality mostly negatively, defending the image, created over the centuries, of a strong, strong and cold person. Can men love, deeply and penetratingly, sincerely, for real?

Society has long and systematically formed an attitude towards males as protectors. Basically these were external causes, which encouraged men to be such: protecting the clan, family from rivals and enemies, ensuring their life. How will you become soft and gentle under such conditions, if your attachment to the family, known to the enemy, makes you helpless and vulnerable in his eyes. Do not show your own emotions to anyone in order not to let yourself be defeated. And yet - what can a woman who falls in love expect?

The strong will be able to defend their right to love their family, and therefore they are not afraid of manifestations of sincere emotions - they can stand up for themselves and for their condition. Don't be afraid to look funny when talking about yourself inner world the one that won the heart. But for this they expect gratitude and mutual love. Weak, unsure of themselves with numerous love affairs, they try to establish themselves in their own eyes, make a stunning impression on others, thereby proving to themselves own importance. They do not need passion, but the number of stars on the fuselage.

Male representatives like the very process of courtship, the conquest of their chosen one.

When the conquest has grown into possession, courtship fades away - there is no need for them. After all, each partner is sure that having won a woman once, there is no need to prove his affection to her anymore. On the principle of "where is she going now." Someone is happy with it, and someone is looking for someone who will repeat this candy-bouquet period. Especially wise women they know how to constantly support this need for conquest - by their behavior, hints, soft tricks. Everyone is able to conquer his beloved if she is really needed and if the lady does not show that she has already been conquered, as if each time slightly moving away. And then the question of whether a man can love and show his attitude will disappear.

If we talk about the difference, one cannot but recall the attitude towards intimate life. For men, sex and love are similar, some do not see the difference in these concepts at all. Love involves possession, conquest. What, if not sex, shows it completely. If we recall the original question, can guys fall in love, then we can answer it: like women - no, but like a man - definitely.

How to understand if it is love?

Can a man love, it became more or less clear. However, manifestations of this are sometimes so elusive or incomprehensible that it is even more difficult to understand here. The questions of human relationships are answered by psychology, a science that is mysterious and often unprovable. But it's better than wandering in the dark. Are men able to show their attitude towards a woman by means accessible to her understanding - let's look at examples of behavior in relation to the chosen one. Whether a person can love so secretly that not a single gesture, not a single word betrays him is very doubtful. So we look, we listen, we notice.

Help. A gentleman accustomed to taking responsibility will take care, problems and troubles into his own hands - it is not for nothing that he feels affection for this lady. This means that he feels the desire to protect her from everything dangerous, complex. Moreover, assistance will be provided not only in really overwhelming issues, but also in small things that can make her life easier. At the same time, he feels satisfaction from his ability to decide. He will not wait for requests for help or the fact that the situation is quite unpleasant, he will see and offer himself. Or simply decide for you, putting before the fact the problem solved. After all, the winner is not judged. The most sincerely in love do not even expect gratitude from their beloved. True, this does not mean that she should not do this - you need to appreciate everything that a loving person does for you.

Care. From ancient times, gentlemen opened doors, let the ladies go forward, helped carry loads, paid receipts, in general, tried to surround the chosen one with attention and care. Actively participates in her life, and does not abstract, focusing purely on her own. Much has changed today, but if this moment is observed in his behavior, you will not be mistaken in believing him. Being rather selfish by nature, he will not do this for an indifferent person.
Support. Happy partner - happy and the one who loves him. Respect for plans, decisions, thoughts, the desire to share values or offer something of their own, important and valuable - a feature of a lover.
Reassessment of values and priorities. When a person is alone, he respects his time and plans. When the object of his love is in his field of vision, he also enters the zone of attention and interests, which means that he becomes one of the priorities. This is how new accents are placed, new important things appear. Now, when planning a meeting with friends, the interests of your beloved will be taken into account. If this does not happen, it is worth looking at the rest of the signs of falling in love, perhaps a woman sees what she wants, and not the real picture.
The desire for intimacy. It does not happen that there is passion, but aspirations sexual contact did not have. We are not talking about now platonic love- everything is also not so clear and transparent there. But if he does not reach out to kiss, does not touch, does not hug - either a weak affection (not to say, strange), or not at all. Perhaps there are some hidden agendas behind his interest, but not sincere feelings with a desire for perspective. But if sexual relations established, then the emphasis in them on oneself or on a loved one is also indicative. In sex, guys should not have selfishness - after all, he also gets his own from the pleasure of a partner.
Respect. Reviews of his wife in society, no matter. whether she is nearby or not, listen to her opinion, take into account her interests - all this is one field. Criticism and harsh words addressed to the missus will not be expressed even at home, when there are no witnesses to this. And respect is shown.
Delight. Compliments, flowers as a sign of feelings, even rude flattery is possible. The ways of expressing emotions depend on the nature of the gentleman himself, but the fact is that they should be.

The whole human culture speaks about whether men know how to love. Didn't they write miles of paper with sonnets, odes and other highly emotional works? Don't they put their heroines on a pedestal? Let's not talk about the fact that they often overthrow them from there - usually it's still various representatives currents. Sculpture, music, painting, literature - which of the arts does not mention a man's passion for a woman? Described in all colors and nuances. Even in black and white films, she splashes with multi-colored emotions. Does a person know how to love if he can describe this feeling so sincerely, deeply and fully?

Maybe the question is not so much whether or not they feel this absorbing state, but whether women can see it, understand it, and most importantly, appreciate it. Sometimes ladies are so eager to see something of their own, inspired by books (female representatives tried hard to create their own stereotypes of love), films, they idealize love relationship that they do not see the real, but otherwise manifested. The loud words of a prince on a white horse are heard far and wide, but a gardener who has grown a rose for his beloved, or a student who named a star in her honor - do they love less? Or their voice is not so audible, because it seems to be completely absent.

Some women seek to draw a declaration of love from a partner faster than awaken it. How not to have a baby earlier due date so you can not enjoy what has not yet grown. If a lady is interested in an object, she is quite able to help him fall in love with himself, and only then expect manifestations of love and serenades under the balcony.

Very often, the expectations of both parties lead to the fact that feelings under this pressure do not have time to form and develop. Not understanding each other, people lose their strength in trying to understand, go into conflicts and scandals, put themselves on a pedestal, around which a partner should dance. In general, all people are very different, but this leaves hope - you can find just such a person who will be understandable and who you want to understand.