Childhood crises, mind you. Calendar of age crises of the child by weeks, months and years: jumps and phases of development in childhood

No! Don't want! I won't! I'm not giving it! Get away! You are bad (bad)! I do not love you! I don't need you (I don't need you)! Have you heard similar phrases from your children? Congratulations!!! Your child has an age crisis of 1, 3, 7, 14 or 18 years.

You ask why congratulations? And because it means right and normal development Your child. According to psychologists, a child who has not gone through a real crisis at the right time cannot have a full-fledged further development.

However, many parents are afraid of these periods and often resort to drastic measures to pacify the little "revolutionary". Sometimes the intensity of emotions reaches such an extent that adults can shout at him and even slap him. But such influences will at least not bring any benefit, and at most they will aggravate the situation more (this depends on the mental properties of the child himself and the internal microclimate in the family). And most of the parents will later regret and suffer because of their unexpected reaction, reproach themselves for what bad educators they are.

It is important to remember here that the irritation and anger that parents experience is normal reaction V this case, because in fact these crises are not only children's, but at the same time family crises, including. AND negative emotions can be experienced by both children and adults. This is fine! You just need to understand it, accept it and respond correctly to the current situation.

Crises of development accompany a person all his life: the crisis of a newborn, 14, 17, 30 years, etc. A crisis is a temporary phenomenon. With its correct understanding, we can either completely rid ourselves of the manifestations of the crisis, or reduce them to a minimum. However, if this period is not completed by the child fully and profitably, then all unresolved problems that arose during the last critical period will manifest themselves with new force already in the next age crisis and, coupled with new problems of the next age, they will give an even greater emotional and psychological explosion than it could be.

Why does it happen that your beloved, sweet and obedient baby today suddenly turned into a capricious and nervous pest? Let's take a closer look at the main crises in children by year.

neonatal crisis

At birth, a child moves from an environment fully adapted to him into a world to which he must adapt himself. This becomes a lot of stress for the baby. At this time, his attitude and trust in the outside world are laid. To successfully complete this critical period only a permanent person should be near the child. Mom doesn't have to be here, but someone has to be there all the time. Feed, bathe, change clothes, come to cry, pick up. If there is no such adult nearby and the needs for contact and closeness with him are not satisfied, then this may affect the behavior of the child in the future, and then on the adult. So, for example, very fast sensory and emotional overload and fatigue are possible in the future.

During this period, there is a so-called symbiosis, when mother and child feel and understand each other at deep non-verbal levels. Accordingly, any feelings and emotions of the mother are projected onto the child. So, for example, if the mother is calm, then the child is calm, and if the mother is worried and nervous, then the child reacts very restless behavior. The child at this time is very "comfortable" and understandable. Fed - full, rocked - sleeps. Of course, mothers get used to the fact that the child is completely dependent on her and, out of habit, continue to think and do everything for the child. But as the child grows and matures, such a connection ceases to satisfy him, and when, finally, he learns to sit and then walk, a new crisis of 1 year begins.

Crisis 1 year

At this time, the child realizes, understands and perceives the world in a new way. If earlier he perceived himself and his mother as a whole, now their emotional and psychological separation from each other begins. In many situations, the child meets a different mother's reaction to events than his own. So his happiness from what amazing traces remain from the felt-tip pen on the wallpaper or the joy from the fascinating process of smearing porridge on his hands and table may not always coincide with his mother's emotions.

Around the age of 1 year, the baby begins to walk. He has more freedom, there is an acute research need. Parents are used to the fact that the child was in dire need of them, all the time he was in his arms. Children protest against the restriction of freedom (do not touch, sit, do not walk, etc.), and therefore cognitive activity.

During this period, such personal values ​​as self-esteem, self-respect, trust in oneself and one's body, and the development of movement accuracy are laid and worked out. The child must be given as much freedom of action as possible, while ensuring maximum safety for the baby in advance. Children of this period react sharply to prohibitions and restrictions, but at the same time they are very easily distracted. Therefore, at this age right baby to distract with something bright and interesting than to limit his actions with a ban and get another whim and rebellion.

Read more about the crisis of 1 year in a child.

Crisis 3 years (comes from 1.5 to 3 years)

Your baby is now beginning to separate himself and the world. This is the so-called “I myself” period, when the child seeks and tries to understand his “I”, forms his internal positions. This is a period of awareness of who I am for others. The child, who used to feel like the center of the entire universe, suddenly discovers that he is just one of the many universes surrounding him.

During this period, there is a development of such personal values ​​as a sense of internal order, the ability to make decisions in one's life, self-confidence, self-sufficiency. For a small person, it is now very important to realize any independent action, as own choice without the use of persuasion by adults, the method of carrots and sticks. The best solution will give the child the opportunity to do what he sees fit, giving him a choice without a choice. Those. we offer him a choice of 2-3 options for actions that are beneficial and correct for us in advance, but at the same time he feels his independence.

Be sure at this age we set the framework for children and the boundaries of their behavior. If this is not done, then they will not know where to stop, and this is already fraught with big problems in adolescence. Such teenagers will have difficulty in building boundaries when communicating with other people, become dependent on the opinion of more authoritative comrades.

Read more about the crisis of 3 years in a child.

Crisis 7 years (comes from 6 to 8 years)

At this time, the child receives a new social status- schoolboy. And with it come new responsibilities and rights. The question arises as to what to do with the new freedom and responsibility. Also, the child has his own opinion on everything. And here respect for him parents is very important! Now the child needs support in everything. Returning home, the student must be sure that here he can always find support in all the difficulties of life, new communication with peers and adults, in learning problems.

Your yesterday's baby has already matured. And, despite the fact that sometimes he is still childishly impulsive and impatient, his reasoning and actions become more logical, acquire a semantic basis. He begins to distinguish and share his own feelings and emotions, learns self-control.

During this period, not only new educational, but also household duties, which only he and no one else is engaged in, should appear. He can be offered a choice of washing dishes, preparing everything for cleaning, caring for a pet, etc. At the same time, the child must decide for himself when and what he will do, but be aware that there are consequences for not fulfilling his duties. These responsibilities are different for each child depending on the desires and preferences. It is impossible in any case to impose on him the execution of any deeds without his consent and desire. It is necessary to exclusively agree with him about this. The child becomes equal with us. Now he is one of the full members of the family, and not a subordinate.

Read more about the crisis of 7 years

Puberty crisis (comes from 11 to 15 years old)

The problems of this age come in connection with physiological changes. During this period, we observe the so-called "growing pains". The body is growing and changing. A teenager must get used to a new one, accept himself and learn to live with a changed body. Our adult child feels great overload of the nervous system. From this arises psychological instability, it is easy to piss him off. On the one hand, he is very stormy, restless, active, but at the same time he is subject to great physical fatigue and lethargy. going on hormonal explosion. A teenager feels new feelings, which he is not yet able to cope with. As a result, we see emotional instability, a quick change in mood. A storm of feelings and emotions captures a teenager. It seems to him that no one understands him, everyone demands something from him and is negatively disposed towards him. The child observes and feels the world in new saturated colors and manifestations, but what to do with all this and how to behave correctly in this new world, he still does not understand.

What should we do during this period? Since this is "growing pains", nothing needs to be done about it. We are calmly waiting for our dear little man to “get sick”. We treat it during this period carefully, carefully, carefully, with great attention.

Also, this period is associated for the child with the transition from childhood to adulthood. He is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. He rushes between these poles and cannot fully accept one of these roles. On the one hand, he is still a child, his interest in games and entertainment has not faded away, he does not want to part with the world of childhood. On the other hand, he already considers himself an adult, he is attracted by this apparent freedom of the adult world, but at the same time he understands that there are many responsibilities that he still does not want to take on.

And what to do with it? Same thing - nothing. We are waiting for this period of uncertainty to end and our adult man will reach a full understanding and acceptance of his adulthood. We accept him as he is, give maximum support and participation, if he asks for it.

Crisis 17 years (comes from 15 to 18 years)

This time is associated with the period of the beginning of social maturity, the period of stabilization of the processes of previous development. Our former child finally reaches the adult stage. The crisis of 17 years coincides with the end of school, when a young man (girl) faces the question of a further life path, choice of profession, subsequent education, work, for boys - military service. All psychological problems during this period are associated with adaptation to new conditions of life, the search for their place in it.

A great role and help can now be provided to a person by the support of the family, people close to him. More than ever, your child now needs a sense of self-confidence, a sense of their competence.

If your child does not receive the help and support he needs, then his fear and insecurity can give rise to neurotic reactions, which in turn will lead to somatic problems, and then to physical illnesses. Be attentive to your adult!

The crisis of age is a period in which the amount of previously acquired knowledge and experience turns into quality. future life. And, if an adult is often left alone with his own problems transitional age, then the child can and should be helped to overcome this difficult period by his closest and native person who educates him.

There is no need to be afraid of such periods. A little patience and due attention to the child, and you will pass this critical age point without much shock.

One fine morning you will wake up and realize that something has changed. Instead of the habitually calm and positive toddler, a little rebel will appear in your house, who is very difficult to persuade to do everything that previously did not cause any problems at all.

What's happening? Just your baby age crisis - a necessary and natural stage of life, through which, to one degree or another, almost all children pass. The most significant of them are the crisis of the 1st year, 2nd and 3rd years.

In fact, a crisis - positive phenomenon , as a result, the baby becomes more independent, conscious, there is a significant jump in his intellectual and creative development. However, not everything is so simple and rosy, because the indispensable "retinue" of such changes are disobedience, stubbornness, whims and tantrums. What to do with a child and how to overcome the crisis stages of a baby aged 1 to 3 years, we will tell in today's material.

Crisis of the first year

The crisis is a natural phenomenon, because our children grow and develop, they have new needs, and the stereotypical old principles of behavior no longer suit them, moreover, they interfere, holding back the development of the baby.

The essence of the crisis of the first year of life - the child's awareness of his own independence , the desire to understand the limits of their new possibilities. Previously, the baby with his mother was almost one, because the baby was directly dependent on the care of adults. But now the little one has grown up, got on his feet, mastered new skills and realized that he simply does not need such an amount of care and guardianship as before. He can already do a lot! And in order to convey this information to adults who cannot understand and accept the growing up of the baby in any way and, out of habit, continue to control his every step, baby starts to rebel ,defending their independence .

This is where the most interesting thing begins - the baby becomes restless, he protests and gets upset for any reason, flatly refuses to listen to his parents and does not want to do what he already knows how to do well. Also, during a crisis, many parents notice that the baby seems to be “stuck”, not letting go of the mother a single step, which makes it difficult for her to visit the shower, toilet, it is impossible to leave the room and leave the child alone.

Crisis of two years

Perhaps you have not yet forgotten the crisis of the first year of life, as the baby enters a new phase of growing up, which is again accompanied by an open rebellion against the usual rules - crisis of two years .

Most often, this crisis passes under the sign of the word "no!". A negative reaction in a child occurs to almost everything, both new and quite familiar actions cause an uncontrollable attack in the baby.

The reason for the crisis of two years is simple - the baby is increasingly discovering the possibilities of his body, he feels like a separate person who can resist parental control.

With every next “no!” the baby over and over again asserts itself in his state, understands that he is no longer one with his mother, learns to realize himself as an independent person.

It becomes very difficult to communicate with a little stubborn: that problem situations grow like mushrooms after rain, the kid defends his position, as if following the motto of Porthos from the novel "Three Musketeers" - "I fight because I fight!". Similarly, a child who is in a state of crisis for two years refuses and argues not because he really wants something or does not want it - but simply because it is necessary.

How to respond to parents ? Be calmer and more flexible. Of course, you should not constantly give in to the baby, so the little rebel can turn into an unbridled tyrant. It is necessary for the child to understand that the boundaries of what is permitted exist, thanks to which he feels safe. However, no less important for the baby is the opportunity to do something at will, to understand that he himself controls some situation.

Our mother-Nunum tells :“We have a number with“ do not pay attention to tantrums ”did not pass, it screams even more. But to talk calmly and affectionately is a new miraculous discovery of our daddy. In another tantrum, he sat her next to him and began to talk to her so affectionately, they say, everything is in order, it’s just that if mom and dad say “it’s impossible”, then it’s really impossible. Katya fell silent, listened to him carefully, and then did everything right. I can’t say that she instantly calms down, whines, of course, but it’s somehow easier for her to let go of the tantrum if there is a comfortable and calm environment around, and not gloomy and angry parents.

Of course, parents should offer the baby the opportunity to choose which T-shirt he will wear today for a walk and listen to his opinion . It's also good to become a master diversionary maneuvers and fabulous digressions that will help resolve the situation when the baby absolutely does not want to listen to your requests.

However, if the situation is still deadlocked and the baby is trying to achieve his goal with the help of hysteria, switching attention, persuasion and concessions will no longer help. Talk to the child seriously, but kindly, explaining to the whim that in this case you cannot compromise and name the reason. The child needs to know that there are prohibitions and rules that should never be violated. This list should be short enough, its points should be related to the safety of the baby and be very clear to him.

No further explanation is needed, as often the development of hysteria is provoked increased attention to the child an appreciative audience of his family actively trying to console him.

When the baby calms down, sit down next to him, so that your eyes are on the level, and talk about what happened. In a conversation, it is better for parents to avoid accusatory phrases about the baby, but to use “I-expressions”, expressing their own emotions and thoughts: “I don’t like it when you behave like this”, “I get upset and feel bad after your whims”, “I think it would be better to leave the playground without a tantrum”, “I know that you can behave well.”

CALENDAR OF AGE CRISES

Most child psychologists agree that age-related crises are simply necessary for a child; without experiencing them, the baby will not be able to fully develop. In the life of a baby, stable and crisis periods alternate - this is a kind of law in the development of the child's psyche.

As a rule, crises pass quite quickly - in just a few months, while periods of stability are much longer. But, it is worth noting that an unfavorable combination of circumstances can significantly increase the duration of the crisis period, sometimes a restless period in a baby's life can last a year or more. During a crisis, a child undergoes a significant shift in development, the model of his behavior changes, usually these periods are short-lived, but quite stormy.

It is rather difficult to determine the beginning and end of the crisis, usually at this time the child is practically not amenable to education, persuasion and agreements that were successfully used by parents earlier do not work, the baby's behavior becomes inexplicable, the reaction to various situations is quite violent. Many parents note that during periods of crisis, children become more capricious, whiny, there are outbursts of anger and hysteria. But, do not forget that each child is individual and each specific crisis can proceed in different ways.

Child Crisis Calendar

For a child, this period also does not go unnoticed, it is difficult for him to find mutual language with others, the baby has an internal conflict.

There are several age crises:

Crisis of one year;
crisis of 2 years;
crisis of 3 years;
crisis 6-8 years.

In order to know how to behave with the baby in certain period life, you need to know when crisis periods occur, the calendar of age-related crises of the child will help to calculate them, it will tell you when your baby will react especially violently to what is happening around, and when you should pay maximum attention to your child.

Let's take a closer look at how the behavior of the baby changes during periods of crisis and how parents should behave.

lactation crises

Lactation crises, that is, a decrease in milk production against the background established lactation pass fairly quickly, usually within a few days. The main condition in given period- this is unlimited attachment of the baby to the breast, night feeding. Usually, lactation crises occur in the first month of a baby's life, at 3 months, 7, 11 and 12 months.

Traditionally, this is explained by the fact that the baby has a need for in large numbers milk than is produced by the mother. During these periods, the baby becomes more restless, he cries after feeding, demanding an additional portion. The frequency of breastfeeding during this period increases. Usually for babies lactation crises at 1 and 3 months do not pose any threat or danger.

In order for this period to pass as quickly as possible, mom should follow the regimen, do not worry and do not panic. In this case, lactation improves by itself rather quickly. The main thing is not to stop feeding the baby, to apply it to the breast as often as possible. Do not supplement or supplement the child during this period, refuse to calm with a dummy.

It is worth noting that lactation crises are less likely to occur in mothers who are confident in their success. breastfeeding and trained proper attachment to the chest.

The crisis of the first year of a baby's life

Almost all babies experience a crisis at the end of the first year of life. At this age, many children are already beginning to walk independently, pronounce their first words, try to dress and eat without the help of adults. As a rule, at this time, the child responds with capriciousness to the parents' excessive desire to help him in everything and take care of him. New skills give the baby the opportunity to feel independent, but at the same time, the child begins to experience fear that he is losing his mother. Girls usually experience this crisis period A little before the boys about a year and a half, but for the boys these unrest pass closer to two years.

How should parents behave during this difficult time? During the first age crisis, the baby feels a great need to communicate with his mother, he wants to be with her always, without stepping back. If the mother needs to go away, then the child begins to be capricious and bored, and upon returning she asks to be held in her arms, trying to draw attention to herself different ways. Mom, in order to be able to go about her business, you should first take time for the baby, play with him, read books, talk. Having enjoyed the presence of mommy, the child will soon want to play on his own.

Very often, parents meet with a manifestation of stubbornness during this period of their crumbs' life. The child may refuse to eat, walk, protest against dressing. Thus, your baby is trying to prove his adulthood and independence. The child's favorite toy can come to your aid: a car or a doll are going to walk, and a bunny behaves well at the table.

At the end of this period, your baby will gain new knowledge about himself, his abilities and the world around him, and previously unknown character traits will appear. Remember that if this period will pass unfavorably, then a violation in the correct development is possible.

How to survive the crisis of two years with a baby?

At this age, the baby begins a stormy research activities trying to figure out what can and cannot be done. This is necessary for the child to determine for himself the boundaries of what is permitted and to feel that he is safe.

Psychologists explain this quite simply: the baby’s behavior model is formed on the basis of the reaction of mom and dad to one or another action on the part of the baby, if the reaction is natural, then it is postponed in the child as a norm, if the reaction of the parents differs from the usual one, the baby will not will feel safe. It is important for parents to understand that such a check on the part of the baby is not a whim, but a desire to make sure that everything is in order. It is worth remembering that over time, your child will have to face the resistance of other people and the environment.

Parents during this period of development should clearly establish the boundaries of what can be done and what cannot be done categorically. Under no circumstances should this prohibition be waived. If you succumb to pity, allow something from the forbidden, then the child will instantly feel his power and will try to manipulate you.

Each parent must find ways to influence the baby on their own, guided by the individuality of the child, because someone needs a hint, someone reacts only to a shout, and some understand the requirements of the parents only after the conversation.

It is worth noting that the most in an efficient way the absence of the public is recognized as the cessation of hysteria, therefore, psychologists sometimes recommend disregarding the whims and tantrums of the baby.

What should parents do if their child has a tantrum? First, you should not satisfy the desire of the child, you must steadfastly adhere to your prohibitions. Secondly, do not try to switch the attention of the child, this method is only suitable for very young children. Thirdly, try to briefly and succinctly explain to the capricious why his demands will not be met. If the child comes to you for reassurance, do not push him away and try to discuss the situation when the baby returns to normal.

3 year baby crisis

Almost all babies experience behavioral changes between the ages of two and three, the so-called crisis of three years. At this time, children become capricious, their behavior changes far from better side: tantrums, protest, outbursts of anger and aggression, self-will, negativity and stubbornness - you have never seen your child like this. All these manifestations of the crisis are connected with the fact that it is at this age that the child begins to position himself as an independent person, and shows his will.

The child must be given the opportunity to choose, for this, parents should use peculiar tricks, for example, allow the baby to independently choose the dishes from which he will eat or from two blouses the one he wants to wear for a walk.

Hysterical fits, throwing things and toys on the floor during this period is quite natural. It is worth worrying only if the child cannot get out of the state of hysteria or they are repeated several times a day.

Try with all sorts of persuasion and explanations to prevent the baby from starting a tantrum, because it is often easier to prevent it than to stop it. The most important thing that moms and dads should remember is that the child should not be allowed to get what they want during a tantrum.

Does it happen that a three-year-old child does not have a crisis? Rather, it happens that this period passes quickly and does not make significant changes in the character and behavior of the baby.

A child aged 4-5 is naughty - how to deal with it?

The most difficult childhood age crisis is considered to be the crisis period that falls on age three. And now, it would seem, when this period is left behind, a lull should come, but suddenly the child becomes again restless, capricious demanding. What is it connected with?

In psychology, a crisis of 4-5 years is not noted by experts, rather, on the contrary, at this time the baby should become more resistant to various situations and stimuli, at this age the baby ends the period of speech formation, the child can quite clearly and logically express his thoughts. Right now he is experiencing a great need to communicate with peers.

A crisis at the age of 4-5 years is rarely experienced by children attending preschool institutions, sections and circles. Therefore, if you notice that the child has become capricious or, on the contrary, too closed, then most likely this is an occasion to expand his social circle with peers.

Crisis in a child at 7 years old - what to do?

The crisis of a seven-year-old child, as well as the crisis of a three-year-old, is accompanied by a sharp change in behavior. During this period, it seems that the child does not hear the comments and requests of adults, and the child at this time allows himself to deviate from the permitted framework: he argues, makes reservations, and grimaces. Quite often, a crisis in a seven-year-old child is associated with the beginning of his educational activities.

It is worth remembering that the child's psyche is quite complex and unpredictable, so this crisis period can begin earlier (at 5-6 years of age) or later (8-9 years). main reason this crisis lies in the fact that the baby overestimates his capabilities.

How does the crisis manifest itself at 7 years old? Did your baby get tired quickly, irritability, nervousness, inexplicable outbursts of anger and rage appeared? Then it's time to sound the alarm, or rather, to be more attentive to the child. At this time, the child may be too active, or, on the contrary, withdraw into himself. He seeks to imitate adults in everything, he develops anxiety and fears, as well as self-doubt.

By the age of seven, the game gradually fades into second place, giving way to learning. Now the child learns the world in a completely different way. This process is rather associated not with the beginning of schooling, but with the fact that the child is reconsidering his own personality. At this time, the child learns to be aware of his emotions, now he understands why he is upset or happy. Painfully the baby worries if his inner "I" does not correspond to the ideal

If before your baby was just enough to be sure that he is the best, now he needs to figure out if this is really so and why. In order to evaluate himself, the child monitors the reaction of others to his behavior and quite critically analyzes everything that happens.

Parents should remember that the child's pride is still very vulnerable, which is why self-esteem can be both overestimated and underestimated unreasonably. Both the first and the second lead to serious internal experiences of the baby and can cause his isolation or, conversely, hyperactivity. In addition, now the baby is striving to grow up as soon as possible, the adult world is very attractive and interesting for him. At this age, idols quite often appear in children, while the kids actively imitate the chosen character, copying not only his positive, but also negative deeds and actions.

What should parents do during this time? Of course, first of all, you need to help your child learn to realistically assess his abilities, while maintaining his self-confidence. This will help him learn to adequately evaluate his achievements and will not lead to disappointment in himself. Try to evaluate the actions of the child not as a whole, but according to individual elements, teach your baby that if something did not work out now, in the future everything will definitely go exactly as you wanted.

In conclusion, I would like to say that there is another crisis - the crisis of adolescence, which also requires a certain model of behavior from parents. Remember that everything is only in your hands, help the child cope with his experiences, support and guide him. Parental love can help to survive any, even the most difficult crisis.

Previously, it was believed that crisis periods occur only in adults. We are talking about a "mid-life crisis". However, in childhood, in the process of growth and development - the child has to overcome periods of crisis. And in this they need your help. Who, if not parents, is able to do this?

Age crises in the development of the child.

First crisis: newborn.

Perhaps you are already familiar with this terminology, you may be surprised, but the first age crisis is associated with birth, with the birth of a child. In the womb, the child was warm, comfortable, safe. He ate, grew and developed. But the time has come to announce to everyone about its appearance. During the process of childbirth and in the first months after birth, the baby feels the strongest discomfort, fear and helplessness. Therefore, modern experts in the field of perinatal psychology recommend choosing a maternity hospital with "mother and child" wards. By the way, a person can experience a state of discomfort, fear, nervousness all his life. Psychoanalysts, "immersing" patients during infancy with the help of special techniques, argue that anxious and neurasthenic individuals felt fear, grief and loneliness in the first month of life. Apparently, the mothers did not really indulge them with attention and care: when the babies were crying, they did not come up, thus “educating” character; when the children wanted to eat, they didn’t feed, holding pauses, reassuring themselves that it was for their own good.
But a newborn child vitally needs maternal warmth, affection, attention. For his health, this is no less important than a dry diaper or an anatomical nipple. Modern scientists have already proven that premature babies develop and gain weight better if they are often picked up. If they are stroked, kissed, kindly, they communicate with them with warmth - this works even more beneficially: the baby becomes calmer, and for example, they can disappear pain symptoms colic.
Try to keep breastfeeding longer. According to the results of the studies, it can be concluded that children who were breastfed studied better at school and showed a higher coefficient mental development than their peers who ate formula milk.

The second crisis: a crisis of one year or a year and a half.

Be mentally prepared for the fact that the child will show an exploratory interest in everything. He can bite off the bumper of his toy car - and this does not mean that you have a growing vandal. Also, a computer mouse can be tested on the tooth and subsequently it will be sent somewhere behind the sofa. And how she flew! .. The child tries himself in various endeavors. He can get cereals from the kitchen cabinet, pour them on the floor, mix them up and pour water from the watering can that was on the windowsill... And with what sound they fall flower pots from the windowsill, and you can dig deeper in the dugout ... There are so many interesting things around !!! All this activity makes parents nervous and angry. A child's self-confidence largely depends on how freely mom and dad allow him to explore the world, how they relate to his experiments. If adults now and then limit the baby: they put him in an arena, forbid him to touch everything, force him to stand or sit quietly in one place, scold him for spoiled things, he will very soon realize that his activity is evil, and will be afraid to show his curiosity and initiative . It is easy to guess how this will backfire in adulthood.

The third crisis: the crisis of three years. "I myself"

A lot has already been written about the crisis of three years, but parents characterize the behavior of their child as follows: "He shakes the law!". To that age period your little one is really starting to "pump" right. He understands that there is a mother, there is a father, there is "I". "I am independent personality. "I" can act on its own. If earlier you showed him his photo - he said: "This is Glory", now, looking at the same photo - the child will say: "This is me." He has his desires and his desires. His desires may run counter to yours.
How should parents behave when the child's behavior changes with age? Of course, you can pressure and force the child to do what adults want. Pressure backed up by yelling or punishment in the corner will do the trick. But this is far from the most humane option and it "works" up to a certain age. It is much more reasonable to invite the child to make a decision for himself, to make a choice: “Are you going to eat soup or a cutlet with potatoes now?”, Or “Are you going to wear jeans or these trousers now?”. Big choice it is not necessary to provide, but by choosing the child already takes part of the responsibility for his actions, for his choice.

At the same time, allow him to show his "I" where it is reasonable and will not harm the health of the child and others. At this age, the carrot principle is effective: you need to encourage good deeds and point out bad ones. But we should not forget about encouragement, otherwise we are all very fond of moralizing, forgetting about all the good things.

The fourth crisis: the crisis of 7 years.

Naturally, like any other crisis period - the crisis of 7 years will not come at exactly seven years. It can come a little earlier or a little later, everything is individual here.

This crisis coincides with the child's entry into the first grade. At this age, the child is trying to fit into society. For him, it becomes important not only the recognition of his inner circle, but also his peers. And how to succeed with peers is to study well and be the soul of the team. So when choosing a school, consider the abilities of your child. If he shows success in sports - maybe you should think about sports school or at least about the sports section (to raise the child's self-esteem). Find out from the child or watch him what he is interested in - and choose additional activities and circles according to his interests (and not what you wanted as a child).

Fifth crisis: the crisis of adolescence.

Many parents expect this period with horror, fearing that the child will be uncontrollable. But some teenagers, on the contrary, become closed and silent.

In adolescence, a hormonal explosion occurs in the body. Therefore, many teenagers behave loudly, defiantly, hysterically, violently. In this behavior there is a call to parents, a call for help. Of course, teenagers themselves will never admit this, but anonymous polls give interesting results. Most adolescents want their parents to know and understand what is happening to them, to help them solve their personal and school problems, but so that friends and peers do not know about it.

And at this age, your support is very important! If your teenage son or daughter doesn’t get along with the guys, you can redirect his activity into communication with other children, suggest doing creative work: playing the guitar, drawing, enrolling in a theater studio, etc. It is not worth putting pressure on a teenager at this age, and most likely you will not achieve anything by pressure, except for rejection. Be respectful of his concerns.

And do not think that no one needs your attention anymore. Even if the child is already a head taller than you, and the daughter has already acquired gentlemen, they still have a lot of children in their souls. In their hearts they are very vulnerable. This is where the imbalance lies. adolescence: a teenager strives for independence and at the same time still needs your support and attention.