Transitional age psychological problems. Transitional age in girls: signs and symptoms. What time does the transitional age begin and end in girls

Transitional age is a difficult period. It is also difficult for parents, of course, because the child gets out of control, becomes uncontrollable or vice versa, too closed, behaves, it would seem, completely inadequate. And how difficult it is for the child himself: this is the time of the formation of a new person, and during this fragile period, anything can happen. Let's figure out what happens to a person in adolescence, why he changes so much and what parents should do so that this period passes most gently and without excesses.

When asked to name the symptoms of adolescence, any parent of a teenager will begin to list multiple cases. strange behavior, which appeared in his child with the advent of adolescence. And although everyone will have their own story and their own story, we will see one exceptional similarity of all children during this period: sure sign transitional age is always turning inside out your best qualities. For example, a child was obedient in childhood, and in adolescence he begins to go against his parents, while resisting with all his might. Or, another example, the child has always been disciplined and punctual. If mom said to be home at eight in the evening, not a minute later baby won't come home. When the hard time began transitional age, the child, on the contrary, begins to come home later, as if not hearing the parents' instructions about the time, or even in the morning. Another example, a kind, sympathetic child becomes infantile, callous, dresses provocatively, paints his head in a bright color, and so on.

According to statistics, many adolescents at a transitional age are the first to try alcohol, smoke, try drugs. Not everyone goes through this without consequences, many begin to show themselves aggressively towards household members. What can we say about the first love interests in adolescence: there is a passion that blows the roof, and quarrels that boil and rage, and the end of the first love, after which the teenager almost wants to throw himself out the window, because life is over and not makes sense. And there are also such children who, at a transitional age, are not interested in the opposite sex, which even more alarms parents: all the boys are already friends with girls and vice versa, but this one or this one sits by itself and does not blow into the mustache - isn't that strange? Everything in adolescence is at its maximum, everything is not clear and ... scary, because it is not known how this could end.

What kind of strange period is this: transitional age, why and when does it occur, and most importantly, why do children become so strange at this time?

How long is the transition period?

IN English language teenagers are called teenagers from the prefix -teen, which appears on the numbers from 13 to 19. Thus, the transitional age is indicated precisely by this age period - 13-19 years. But in fact, each person's transitional age can begin both earlier and later. And also end at different times.

Some children go through a transitional age very quickly, and in just a couple of years they turn into adults. For others it happens more slowly. Such a fuzzy border in adolescence for different people is due to different influences of society, more or less guardianship from parents, and also physiological feature the person himself, his psychological readiness for transitional age and exit from it.

One way or another, but really metamorphoses with a person occur from about 11-12 years old to 17-19 years old.

What is transitional age?

Before describing what this period of a person’s life is, one must accept one indisputable fact: adolescence is actually one of the most difficult periods in a person’s life. This is the period of the formation of a new personality and it is necessary to treat any manifestations of a teenager with more than understanding, caution.

When a child is born into the world, he immediately receives one very important feeling from their parents is a sense of security from external factors. Mom gives him food, parents provide him, give, to the best of their ability, warmth, care, love. Even if the mother often punishes (deservedly) the child, and the father scolds him, demands from him best grades obedience, the child still feels his dependence on them. No matter what kind of mother, queen or alcoholic the child has, the child truly loves her and expects to receive from her what she has to give him.

But childhood ends. And it ends precisely with the fact that the child begins to want to be an independent, separate person. He suddenly feels the desire to be responsible for himself, for his life. Of course, at the beginning of the transitional age, he still does not understand this, does not realize that this is exactly so. He's just trying to "taste" adulthood. Someone on the sly, and someone - immediately with all the dope, as they say. And then ... it started. At the same time, the symptoms and signs of adolescence vary from and to.

puberty symptoms

At first glance, teenagers look very incomprehensible, strange, some would say, even crazy. But that's just how it seems. If you look at them through the prism of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology, everything will fall into place. Any parent can accurately, down to the smallest detail, predict the actions of their child in adolescence. It's not something that just calculates, it becomes obvious, like two times two makes four. You can learn this understanding of your own children at a training that takes place on the Internet, online.

You can read the results of those who have already completed the training at this link.
See the lectures you can right now- follow this link and watch any video.

Want to know how to properly raise children, better understand them? We invite you to attend trainings on systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan. The introductory part of the lectures is absolutely free and available to everyone by registration.

What should parents do during the transitional age of the child?

First you need to understand and accept that adolescence is a normal process when a child ceases to be a child, that is, it breaks away from mom and dad. This is nothing but a positive event, because any person should become an adult.

Some children later than others enter the adolescent phase of development, less than others or not at all interested in the opposite sex, become very withdrawn and uncommunicative while their peers begin adolescence. They may be completely uninterested in parties, alcohol, and the like, as they think, is nonsense. On the one hand, this is good for parents, but you should not be too happy about this fact, because the child does not go through an important phase of development, which means that he misses or delays something very important for him. In order to better understand these children, read a selection of articles about people with a sound vector.

The second thing to understand is that children have never been adults, so they take all the steps for the first time in their lives. Naturally, they do it clumsily, strangely, incorrectly. Think about it, because when a child, being one year old baby, tried for the first time in his life to go on his own, pushing away his mother's hand and falling, it looked funny and touching to tears. It was his first try, his attempt to move independently - it was wonderful. The same test in life for him at a transitional age becomes the desire to independently manage his own time, choose hobbies, favorite work, friends, and so on. Of course, a teenager vomiting at the door or one half of the hair of the head of blue color, and the other - generally shaved, do not look so cute as the first, inept step of the baby, but in the seriousness and importance of this event - they are equal.

The only task of parents in adolescence is not to move away from the child, but to remain his friend, who understands everything and can provide psychological support in case of an unforeseen situation. This is the most optimal scenario, because a parent, an older person, can prevent negative situations, help in difficult, points of contention, to answer fairly simple life questions that baffle a teenager only because of his inexperience.

Unfortunately, most parents, not understanding this simple truth, already with the onset of the transitional age of the child, completely move away from him, trying to intervene in the already complex, fragile process of the formation of a new personality. Communication between adults and children in adolescence turns into stress, sheer misunderstanding, which often remains for life.

Parents are already early age children should prepare for the fact that the child will grow up and become an adult. The biggest mistake of parents is to completely neutralize the desires of the child and try to impose their understanding of life on him.

It must be understood that a child in adolescence matures not only mentally, but also physically. That's when it happens hormonal explosion, which greatly alters both the appearance of the child and his relationship with the opposite sex. Today, teenagers easily access pornographic sites, it is not surprising that they try sexual relationships too early in age. And there is a huge threat of early teenage pregnancy, and parents should make every effort to prevent this from happening. Teenagers, despite all the bravado, in fact, at a transitional age, are still not fully grown up and are not morally ready for the appearance of their own offspring. Therefore, such a one-time experience can turn into a real tragedy for the whole future life.

In the transitional age, the formation of the relationship of the child with peers, who are also almost adults, also takes place. Most big problems arise at this moment in those children who from an early age were developed only intellectually, and their socialization was completely leveled. For example, a child from 1-2 years old was taught 5 foreign languages, from the age of 4 they were taught to play the violin and piano, mathematics, physics, developed talents and all this with a grandmother, mother and a bunch of adult tutors. The child was completely deprived of communication with peers at such an important age for him up to 6-7 years. Parents, wishing the child all the best, actually deprived him of this very best: the opportunity in early childhood to lose communication during adult life, what normally happens in kindergarten. Often, such children in adolescence are not to be envied: they are completely and absolutely confused and can do things that border on a threat to life - get involved in bad companies, start relationships with unpleasant people, use drugs, become the subject of beatings and mockery from their peers. and so on.

That the transitional age occurs in adolescents during the period of growing up, from about 12 to 18 years. But few people know that besides him, during our life we ​​experience a transitional age several more times. This important period, in which there is a change in thinking and principles of life, the people often call the process an age crisis.

16-22 years old

It is also a very important period. Yesterday's schoolchildren and students are faced with a choice of profession. For the first time in their lives, they get a job, join a new, completely unfamiliar team. They have to adapt to this team, learn to get along. They earn their first own money, learn to plan expenses. Many get married or get married, which implies an even greater degree of responsibility.

30-35 years old

By this age, you can already see what you have achieved or not achieved in the profession. If in career growth everything goes according to plan, there is a fear of losing everything. The slightest conflict with the team or with the authorities can lead to nervous breakdown. "If I lose this job, who will feed my family?" This fear of losing everything is the greatest in this period of life. Or, suddenly, a person begins to think that his work does not bring him pleasure. Or, by the age of 30, he was never able to achieve the goals that he had originally set for himself. With these thoughts and fears, a person lives in constant stress, which can lead to depression.

40 years

Balzac's age comes around 40 years. It sounds beautiful, however, these words conceal the next crisis period. It's called "The Midlife Crisis". In life, it seems, everything is stable, the children have grown up, there is no longer any need to worry about how to educate them, and how to provide them with a decent education. And this is precisely the reason. Forty-year-olds, still full of energy, begin to feel unnecessary. After all, the children left the parental home. Parties, travel, stag and hen parties do not bring the former excitement and do not excite the blood. It seems that the meaning of life is lost.

Women, thinking about the fact that they are no longer so young and beautiful, begin to look for flaws in their appearance. They stop taking care of themselves. Men compare themselves with young people of 20-25 years old, and this comparison is not always in favor of a forty-year-old. There are almost no friends left, everyone has their own affairs and worries. I got used to my wife, intimacy with her does not please me as much as before. There are no prospects at work either. For what to live?

Transitional age is a period of physiological and psychological changes in a growing organism, which affect not only the adolescent himself, but also his environment. The key to successfully overcoming this crisis period lies in understanding the nature of physical and emotional characteristics teenage body.

General characteristics of adolescence

The similarity of this stage of development with the infancy period is that the human body is changing at an incredible speed. As a rule, a teenager is frightened by all these processes, there are difficulties with self-perception, which become one of the causes of the crisis. adolescence. Scientists identify several key changes in the body that occur during adolescence:

• A rapid increase in height and body weight - a developmental spurt lasts about a year. During this period, the growth of girls increases by an average of 9 cm, boys - by 10.4 cm. As a rule, the growth spurt in male adolescents occurs two years later. Body weight increases due to the development of fatty (typical for female body) and muscle (observed in the male body) mass.
• The appearance of secondary sexual characteristics. For adolescence, a change in the hormonal background is characteristic, as a result of which the boys begin active growth facial hair, voice changes and penis enlargement, and girls start menstruating. In addition, in both sexes, the appearance of hair in the inguinal and axillary areas, as well as increased secretion of sweat and sebaceous glands.
• Active development of the brain. Data various studies evidence that human brain development continues until the end of puberty. The instability of the emotional state is a consequence of neural connections, which in adolescence have a particularly strong influence on mental functions and emotions.

In order to cope with the huge amount of work during the stage of rapid change, the body needs more rest. Experts say that teenagers need an average of 9.5 hours of sleep. This is the main reason why children in puberty sleep longer than usual and have difficulty getting up early. Adolescent clumsiness is also a consequence of age-related changes, to which it is necessary to adapt.

The increase in body weight is the reason that most teenage girls begin to closely monitor their weight. The data of various surveys and studies show that 60-70% of girls go on a diet for the first time precisely at a transitional age. Consequences malnutrition and lack of diet essential vitamins and trace elements are disorders in the digestive system, which in the most difficult cases leads to the development of diseases such as anorexia and bulimia.

In adolescence, adolescents begin to be interested in sex issues. Physiological and hormonal changes arouse a natural interest in opposite sex. Psychologists advise parents at this age to help their child learn more about the sexual side of relationships between men and women, to talk about methods of protection against unwanted pregnancy and genital infections. It is necessary to teach a teenager to take a responsible approach to any issues related to sex, including relationships with a partner that precede sexual contact.

Development of cognitive abilities in adolescence

Signs of adolescence are actively manifested in the cognitive sphere. Scientists identify several key changes associated with thought processes:

• Development of the ability to argue. A teenager learns not only to accept, but also to justify his decisions, analyze existing circumstances and predict the development of the situation. Independent thinking of the individual becomes precise and logical.
• Development of the ability for abstract and metathinking. A teenager operates with abstract categories that exist only in his imagination. The emergence of such an ability indicates a person's readiness to study complex intangible things, to reflect on the topic of faith, spirituality, trust, love, etc. Metathinking allows a person to see the world from the point of view of other members of society. Thus, the teenager gets the opportunity to effectively memorize and systematize the information received.

The development of cognitive abilities affects the behavior of a teenager. Transitional age is characterized by:

• Shyness. An egocentric perception of oneself makes the child think that everyone around him is focused on his appearance and behavior. This is the main cause of teenage shyness, which can sometimes hide behind aggressive behavior.
• Fearlessness. The belief that bad things only happen to other people can lead to provocative and reckless behavior in adolescence. Only a few guys and girls are able to make correct abstract conclusions, while the vast majority of teenagers are sure that they will never get cancer, become addicted to alcohol or drugs, and sex without a condom will not end in an unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.
• Focusing on the mistakes of others. The actions of other people are judged categorically. Most often, the main antagonists in adolescents are their parents, which, as a rule, they are told in a rather sharp form. Criticism in their address is perceived painfully by teenagers.

Psychological development and social adaptation of adolescents

The transitional age in girls and boys is associated with the stage of personality formation, which integrates into the surrounding society. Teenagers attach great importance to the opinions of others, which often leads to attempts to change themselves for the sake of complete strangers. Trying on various social roles helps to identify the unique features of one's own personality.

In adolescence, adolescents seek to defend the right to their independence from adults. The most common sign of such a struggle is teenage rebellion. Sometimes this happens in a rather crude form, but psychologists insist on the importance of this stage of growing up. Otherwise, a person can turn into a weak-willed and infantile person who will need the support of parents and other people throughout his life.

The transitional period is a stage in the formation of life goals and priorities. Of course, they may change more than once, but planning for the future is the main sign of entering into independent life. The task of parents is to draw the attention of a teenager to his abilities and inclinations, as well as to show the existing ways of realizing his talents. Psychologists emphasize that in adolescence it is necessary to encourage any aspirations of the child.

Physiological changes in adolescent boys

The transitional age in boys has several characteristic physiological signs:

• increase in the rate of muscle growth and strengthening of bones;
• expansion of the shoulder girdle;
• an increase in the size of the penis and testicles;
• the appearance of hair in the pubic, axillary zone and on the face;
• voice change (growth of the vocal cords, cartilage and throat muscles);
• the appearance of pollutions (uncontrolled ejaculations during sleep).

For boys, the ritual of the first shave is very important, even if only a barely noticeable fluff has appeared on the face. Increased secretion of the sebaceous glands is often the cause of acne. To avoid the appearance of psychological problems and complexes on this basis, it is necessary to turn to cosmetologists who will effectively solve the problem of teenage rashes.

Peak puberty occurs at 12-14 years of age. During this period, boys grow an average of 10 cm per year. Puberty occurs in guys at about 22 years old. Height sexual activity and attraction to female gender can lead to behavior problems. The boy seeks to prove that he is already old enough for relationships with the opposite sex. The difficulty lies in the fact that a teenager cannot realize his aspirations regarding the object of sympathy, which leads to excessive emotionality and aggressiveness.

Psychologists say that such behavior is absolutely typical for any teenager. Parents should be sympathetic to the changes that occur with their child, and carefully monitor any mental changes in his condition. You should seek help from a psychologist in the following cases:

• long periods of apathy, depression and isolation;
• lethargy, fatigue and lack of appetite;
• aggressive behavior directed against classmates, parents, teachers and other adults;
• money extortion.

Joint therapy sessions under the supervision of psychologists allow parents and adolescents to more easily survive the crisis of adolescence and restore mutual understanding in the family.

Physiological changes in girls in adolescence

Signs of adolescence in girls are associated with an increase in the level of sex hormones in the body. In this way, the female reproductive organs prepare for future motherhood and activate the function of procreation. The beginning of adolescence in girls is 10-11 years old. The duration of this period is individual, but on average active phase puberty lasts 5-7 years. The intensive production of hormones in girls is reflected in almost all organs, but most of all in the nervous, endocrine and vegetovascular systems. In adolescence, girls begin menstruation, the figure becomes angular, and the movements are awkward.

Teenage girls suffer from all kinds of complexes that are generated by their picky attitude to their appearance. It is very important for them to be beautiful in order to attract the attention of the opposite sex, so any defect in the skin or figure can lead to tantrums, nervousness and depression. Psychologists emphasize that parents should especially carefully monitor the diet of a child in adolescence, since girls tend to go on diets or even refuse food in an effort to get rid of extra pounds.

How to survive the transition period?

With the appearance of signs of adolescence (psychological and physiological changes) parents should discuss them with the child as delicately as possible. Age changes you can’t make fun of, and smooth out all acute topics or not raise at all, as this can lead to a depressive state in a teenager. The child should not be allowed to become withdrawn and aloof. It is important that a teenager feel the support of his parents and know that if necessary, he can get help in solving any problem.

• Collaboration. Both parents should be involved in the sexual education of a teenager. Today, there are many sources where you can find the necessary information that relates to puberty. With its help, you can easily explain to a teenager the causes and nature of changes in his body. In raising a boy key role the father is playing. Lessons on using a razor and communicating with girls, as well as talking about structural features will help maintain mutual understanding with your son. male body. The process of the appearance of signs of adolescence in girls (the onset of menstruation and a critical attitude towards their appearance) should take place under the strict supervision of the mother. It is important to teach the girl how to properly care for her body, skin, hair, etc., in order to avoid complexes associated with her appearance in the future.
• Healthy lifestyle. A growing body responds positively to any outdoor activities, so a teenager needs sports loads. Experts recommend carefully monitoring the child's diet in order to provide the body with a set of vitamins and useful trace elements. Parents need to protect a teenager from a passive lifestyle, alcohol, smoking and other bad habits.
• Experience exchange. Teenage maximalism and an intolerant attitude towards the misdeeds of others are present in the character of the child only because he is not aware of all the complexities of adult life.

If a teenager seeks to become independent as soon as possible, it is necessary to provide him with such an opportunity: entrust a responsible matter, allow him to plan family budget for a week, etc. In case of failure, one should not condemn the child, but on the contrary, it is worth supporting him good advice which is sure to come in handy in the future.

The biggest difficulty of adolescence is the simultaneous very powerful restructuring of the child's body and psyche. The quality of adult life is largely determined by how successfully a person went through the teenage crisis.

Adolescence is usually called the period from 10-11 to 15-16 years. It is called transitional, since at this time the child moves from a child's model of behavior to an adult. There is a change in self-esteem, perception of oneself in society. There is an ability to perceive the environment critically, to analyze and draw one's own conclusions, to consciously appropriate those or other moral values ​​offered by society.

In addition, during this period, the teenager is experiencing serious physiological changes.

Age features of adolescents

• Physiological processes hidden from the eye cause a feeling of anxiety, discomfort, constant voltage and emotional fatigue
• Psychological changes, in turn, lead to emotional imbalance, internal and external conflicts, the solution of which requires the energy of internal strength.
• To the described problems of a teenager, a significant increase in the teaching load in high school, increased pressure from parents is added.
• All this creates a feeling of confusion in a teenager: old landmarks are lost, new ones have not yet been found.
• The natural processes of growing up cause feelings of catastrophe and loss of oneself in the world around
• The social skills of a teenager are not yet formed, personal life experience is too small to independently find solutions in difficult situations.
• Constant internal disharmony leads to increased conflict and aggression, which only reinforces the negative perception of the situation.
• As a result, a teenager becomes isolated, withdraws into himself, acquires unnecessary complexes, instead of solving problems, he is looking for easy ways to escape from them.
• At worst teenage problems can break a person as a person

The first signs of adolescence

Outwardly, the beginning of the transitional age is manifested in the following:

• The child begins to grow rapidly, the increase in height is more than 10-15 cm per year
• Secondary sex characteristics develop
• Teenage acne and skin rashes appear
• The child becomes too vulnerable, offended by things that he did not notice before
• Shy about showing parental affection in public
• Arguing and being rude more than usual

Physiological problems of adolescence.

• There is a serious restructuring of the endocrine system. The body of a teenager during the transition period develops unevenly and disproportionately. By the end of puberty, disproportions in most cases disappear
• Central nervous system undergoes significant changes, the result of which is excessive emotional excitability teenagers. The processes occurring in the cerebral cortex provoke an increased reaction of nerve endings and at the same time reduce the inhibition reaction

• In the transitional age, the final formation of adipose tissue and fiber, bones and muscle tissue occurs. The body takes on finished forms. During this period, it is especially important to healthy eating and metabolism
• In area gastrointestinal tract problems often arise during adolescence, as digestive system very sensitive to physical activity and emotional swings
• Physiological changes in the cardiovascular system and respiratory organs lead to disorders in the heart, lungs, frequent weakness, dizziness and fainting. It is very important to choose the right sleep and rest regimen for the child, as well as to carefully consider the definition of permissible loads on the body.

The main features of adolescence in girls

• The body gradually takes on the forms characteristic of female figure: round hips, bulging buttocks, Bottom part body becomes wider than the top
• There is a growth of the mammary glands, often the process is accompanied by painful sensations and a feeling of discomfort. The breast may grow unevenly, the mammary glands may differ in size from one another, but by the end of puberty, the difference practically disappears
• In adolescence, girls begin to grow hair in the pubic and armpit areas, at the same time sebaceous glands begin to work more intensively, body odor becomes sharper. At this age, it is necessary to reconsider hygiene issues and develop individual mode body care
• The formation of the genital organs is completed. Often during this period, violations of the microflora and associated complications (irritations, fungal infections). It is necessary to teach the girl to be attentive to health in the field of gynecology and to properly care for this part of the body

The main features of adolescence in boys

• During adolescence, boys begin intensive growth bones, and then the muscle tissue, and the bones usually grow faster than the muscles. Hence the frequent excessive thinness in adolescent boys. Sometimes this lagging of muscle tissue can cause pain and temporary discomfort
• Teenage breaking of the voice is the growth of the larynx, during which the boy has an "Adam's" apple, and the voice drops by several tones to the timbre characteristic of adult men. During this period, boys are subject to frequent complications and diseases of the throat, since with the growth of the larynx there is a fairly strong blood flow to this area
• A very subtle and delicate issue of puberty in boys is wet dreams (involuntary, usually nocturnal, ejaculation associated with excessive sexual arousal)
• Changes on the face caused by hormonal changes: facial features become sharper and more masculine, childish roundness disappears. Vegetation appears on the face and neck. Juvenile acne in boys is usually more pronounced than in girls.
• Hair growth on the chest, in the armpits, in the groin, change in the smell of sweat. It is important to teach the boy to daily hygiene and use cosmetics body care products (deodorants, lotions, creams)

Reorganization of hormones. What to do with problem skin?

Acne on the face in adolescence is almost inevitable due to the global hormonal changes in the body. Because teenagers are very sensitive to their appearance and assessing one's appearance in the eyes of others, acne on the face is not only a physiological, but also a psychological problem.

At puberty, the sebaceous glands of the child begin to work in an enhanced mode. The fat secreted by them creates ideal conditions for the development of pathogenic flora on the skin, which leads to blockage of pores and the development of pustular lesions.

With the right daily care can significantly reduce the level of bacteria in the pores and prevent excessive acne on the face.

What to consider when treating acne in teenagers:

• Teenage skin is very sensitive and prone to irritation, so you should choose products that are gentle, designed specifically for teenagers.
• "Adult" remedies can lead to serious irritation and allergic rashes, which will only aggravate the physical and psychological discomfort of the child.
• Better suited funds based on natural ingredients, you can wipe your face with decoctions when washing medicinal herbs with antiseptic action
• Do not use alcohol-containing preparations, as alcohol dries out the skin, which in turn causes even more active work of the sebaceous glands and the release of fat.
• Acne can be exacerbated due to improper digestion, so it is important to eat a healthy and balanced diet.
• It is important to remember that not only the skin should be clean, but also the towel, bedding and underwear. Teach your child to avoid touching their face unless absolutely necessary, to wash their hands more often, and to use clean handkerchiefs.
• Teenage skin is more prone to pollution than adult skin, so you need to wash your face several times a day, at least in the morning and evening.

Social problems of adolescence. Adaptation in society

The main motivation of a child in society in adolescence is gaining respect in the eyes of others, especially peers. The opinion of classmates begins to prevail over the opinion of parents and teachers. Adolescents are very sensitive to the slightest change in their position in the circle of their peers.

Hence, sudden actions are frequent, uncharacteristic for a child, designed to demonstrate to peers his exclusivity and eccentricity: hooligan antics, rash risk, extravagant details of appearance.
It has been noticed that the weight of a child in the eyes of a teenager directly depends on his emotional well-being and microclimate in the family.

Psychological problems of adolescence

The main tasks of personal growth that the child solves for himself in adolescence:

• Ability to analyze, compare, draw own conclusions
  Independent decision-making based on the conclusions drawn
  Awareness of personal responsibility for their decisions and actions
  Awareness of oneself as an individual and a subject of society
  His status and position in society

An important aspect for a teenager is self-respect as a person. Having learned to perceive the world critically, children begin to see too many shortcomings in themselves, especially in comparison with other peers. They also painfully perceive any hint of disrespect from the outside.

Often, a teenager's depressed state or increased aggressiveness is caused precisely by an imbalance between the child's internal need for respect and its insufficient manifestation on the part of parents and peers.

Problems of interpersonal relationships in adolescence

• In respect of interpersonal relationships in adolescence, there is a decrease in the importance of adults and a high dependence on the opinions of peers. That is, a teenager from the position of a subordinate moves to a position of equal value
• If there is a serious distance and subordination in the relationship between an adult and a child, then in a relationship between a child and a child, a teenager can fully realize his main needs for this age: to feel like an adult and gain respect in the eyes of others
• The main problems of interpersonal communication of a teenager are the unwillingness of adults to agree with a decrease in their own importance in the eyes of a child, and the inability of a teenager to form harmonious relationship based on equality, since the communication skill in childhood was based on obedience to adults and fulfilling their requirements
• Frequent conflicts of adolescents with each other are caused precisely by attempts to build new relationships based on old skills. In early adolescence, the child is not picky in friends, he is interested in communication as such and the development of the necessary experience.
• By their late teens, children tend to be well versed in their choice of permanent friends of interest, clearly define their role in their company, and have sufficient skills to maintain smooth relationships over a long period of time.

Problems of learning in adolescence. How can you help your child cope with school?

Most teenagers, in addition to all of the above difficulties, have another one - loss of interest in learning. Each child may have his own reason, they have one thing in common: adolescence is full of emotional and physiological experiences, which inevitably affects all aspects of a child's life.

Possible reasons for poor performance

• In early adolescence, the child moves to secondary school, where the organization of educational activities is significantly different from the primary. Instead of one teacher, many teachers appear, each with their own requirements and attitudes. The ways of presenting the material are becoming more academic, the emphasis is shifting towards theory and complex conceptual structures. The child needs the help of parents in order to timely and correctly adapt to new conditions.
• IN high school the increased requirements of parents to the quality of grades and the level of knowledge are added to the complexity of the material, since there is a question of entering professional educational establishments. There is increasing pressure from teachers interested in the quality of passing the exam. The teenager himself is experiencing natural fears about the upcoming exams and admission to the university.
• All this leads to a serious psychological burden, which can affect the quality of academic performance. Help your child to evenly distribute the load during working week, correctly alternate the mode of rest and work. Try not to escalate the situation, cheer up the child, help him gain a sense of self-confidence and his strength.

• Conflicts with teachers and lack of motivation. Adolescents are very sensitive to criticism, especially to its public manifestations. The most natural reaction of a teenager is aggression, which only exacerbates the conflict. Failure in individual subjects may be associated with negative relationships between the teacher and the child. Try to find out the causes of the conflict and help the child build contact
• Personal problems. For a teenager, relationships with peers are much more important than academic performance. At the moment, this is his biggest pain point. If a teenager is not adapted in a team, experiences difficulties in communication, this may be the cause of general apathy, including in relation to studies. It is very important not to dismiss the problems of a teenager, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you.
• Recognize its importance, try to call the child to straight Talk and give him real help, otherwise next time he is unlikely to share the problem. Remember that independence is important for a teenager, so do not try to solve his problems by force, do not lecture his classmates. Help the teenager find a worthy way out of the situation or change the team

The problem of conflict in adolescence

In adolescence, the features of the development of the psyche and body develop in such a way that the child experiences several serious internal conflicts at the same time.

• The desire to be an adult is a denial of the values ​​of surrounding adults
• Feeling like the center of the universe - self-criticism and rejection of oneself as a person
• The desire to be "like everyone else" - a deep need to declare one's individuality and exclusivity
• Puberty - fear and rejection of changes occurring in the body
• Attraction to the opposite sex - inability to build relationships

It is difficult for a teenager to cope with such an influx of emotions, experiences and physical sensations, in this period. Internal conflicts are inevitably reflected in external life.

Relationships with parents and relatives of a teenager. How to behave to the older generation and what to expect?

• In adolescence, the child leaves the custody of the parents. If in childhood he perceived parental assessments and requirements as correct by definition, in adolescence the child begins to evaluate what is happening around him from the point of view of his personal perception. He is aware that he has his own preferences, sympathies and aspirations, which do not always coincide with the opinions of adults
• In relation to parents, a teenager during this period seeks to distance himself from their guardianship and patronage, to demonstrate his adulthood and independence. However, this does not mean that a teenager is ready to refuse communication with parents in general. It's just that his communication during this period goes to a qualitatively new level.
• It often seems to parents that the child is showing unreasonable aggression and stubbornness, and the only thing that drives him is to do everything out of spite. But the misunderstanding is rather caused by the inability of the child, due to age, to express his true emotions, and the unwillingness of his parents to understand him. As a result, the child has a feeling of loneliness, isolation
• It is important to understand that the child emotionally suffers from conflicts no less than the parents. But, not having enough experience in adult relationships, a teenager is not able to understand the cause of mutual dissatisfaction, does not know what to do to resolve the conflict.

It is also necessary to understand that the hormonal revolution of the teenage body causes uncontrollable outbursts of emotions that the child is not physically able to control.

Personality of a teenager in the period of transitional age. New hobbies and world views

Psychologists share teenage years into two phases: negative and positive.

• Negative phase- this is the withering away of the old system of values ​​and interests, the active rejection of the changes taking place inside. The child feels that changes are taking place, but psychologically he is not yet ready for them, hence his irritability, apathy, constant anxiety and discontent
• IN positive phase the teenager is ready to accept and realize the changes taking place. He has new friends, interests, he is able to communicate at a new qualitative level, a feeling of maturity arises, emotions become more stable

It is during the period of a positive phase that a teenager has stable hobbies, creative talents are clearly manifested. If at 10-12 years old teenagers choose friends according to the territorial principle (they study together, live nearby), then in older adolescence the circle of acquaintances is formed on the basis of common interests and hobbies.

Cognitive development of a teenager

Cognitive development is the development of cognitive skills.

• In adolescence, a child is able to assimilate abstract concepts, analyze hypotheses, build his own assumptions, reasonably criticize someone else's point of view. A teenager discovers a logical way of learning objects, in addition to the mechanical memory used by children of preschool and primary school age.
• With mechanical memorization, the material is reproduced in the sequence in which it was memorized: verbatim retelling of the text, strictly sequential execution of physical actions
• Logical memory focuses not on the form, but on the essence of the subject being studied. The subject being studied is analyzed, the most important points, their logical relationship is established, after which the studied material is stored in memory
• In early adolescence, it is difficult for a child to understand in which cases to use certain acquired skills. Some school subjects lend themselves well to the logical method of memorization, some subjects can be studied only with the help of mechanical memory ( foreign languages, complex formulas and definitions). At the age of 10-12 years, children often complain of memory impairment and inability to understand this or that material.

By late adolescence, the child is usually fluent in the acquired skills and their use does not cause difficulties for him.

Generational conflict: to resolve or not to resolve?

Conflicts that arise between parents and a teenager can have a variety of reasons, but if you do not try to manage the conflict, any minor trifle can lead to very serious consequences for both parties. What to do if there is a conflict?

1. The first step is to listen to the arguments and arguments of both sides. Teenagers do not perceive categorical prohibitions, it is important for them to understand what is behind your “no”. Give your child the opportunity to express their point of view. Firstly, he will learn to formulate explanations for his actions (he does not always understand them himself), and secondly, you will let him know that you consider him an adult and respect his opinion. This will significantly reduce the intensity of passions
2. After you have carefully and respectfully listened to the child's position and expressed your arguments, try to find a common compromise. Indicate to the teenager the boundaries in which you are ready to give in, invite him to refuse part of the requirements. So you teach your child to find a middle ground in conflicts with other people.
3. If you find a solution that suits both parties, do not try to revise it under the influence of external circumstances. Be logical and consistent in your desire to speak to your child from a position of mutual respect.

How to build a relationship with a child so as not to harm him?

The parental family is the first and most important model of relationships between people in a child's life.

Possible distortions and disharmony in family relationships are most acute during adolescence. A few examples of inharmonious behavior of parents and their consequences for a teenager.

How can I help my child accept himself as a person?

• Excessive criticality with which a teenager analyzes me and others fully applies to himself.
• All adolescents are, to one degree or another, dissatisfied with themselves, their appearance, their achievements and success among their peers. Girls are more prone to low self-esteem than boys
• Help your teen see their strengths to understand what makes him attractive and unique. Celebrate his real successes, try to raise his self-esteem in your own eyes
• Teenagers have a very great need to communicate with their peers. Become your own, be a full member social group, groups of friends - the main dream of any teenager
• Help your child build relationships in a team. Find time for a heart-to-heart talk; Tell your child about your adolescence, about your first love, friendship, first fights and mistakes. By analyzing your stories, it will be easier for a teenager to make decisions regarding their own problems.
• In search of his own "I", a teenager may begin to behave shockingly, dress in strange clothes, listen to unusual music and so on. If the child's behavior does not pose a threat to himself and others, let him "go crazy"

• Do not make fun of his new hobbies, do not forbid self-expression. Make it clear that he is still appreciated and loved regardless of his appearance.
• Let your teen make mistakes. This does not mean the absence of parental control. On the contrary, allow the child to do it in his own way, but warn about possible consequences, in your opinion.
• Lessons from own experience learned much better than parental instructions. Of course, such experiments are appropriate in those matters where a child's mistake will not lead to critical consequences.

Video: Problems of a teenager in adolescence

Many parents anxiously anticipate the most difficult age period in the life of their child - a teenage crisis. They are afraid that an obedient and affectionate baby will turn into an aggressive and hating representative of some youth subculture. In fact, you need to be afraid of the opposite - that the child does not want to grow up, remains infantile and dependent. What do parents of a child who has a transitional age need to know?

Adolescence- the period in ontogenesis (individual development of the organism from the moment of birth to death) between childhood and adulthood. The concept of “adolescence” appeared in the 19th century, before that it was called “boyhood”. In our time, this name has been preserved, but is rarely used.

Chronological boundaries adolescence is not precisely defined, but most often it is attributed to the period:

• from 11 to 16 years old in girls,
• from 12 to 18 years in boys.

Some scientists call the entire adolescence a period of crisis, while others speak of a "crisis of 14 years", since it is at this age that the peak of the crisis is most often observed. One thing is for sure: it is impossible to predict the beginning and end of a difficult period for sure.

changes, happening to a person during adolescence:

1. Physiology. Adolescence is also called puberty, since at the same time the stage of puberty begins. In addition to the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics, the height and weight of boys and girls increase intensively and unevenly. The body of a teenager is somewhat disproportionate, since first the head, mortars, hands grow, then the arms and legs themselves, and only then the torso.
2. Psychophysiology. In the body of a teenager, a huge amount of sex hormones and growth hormones are produced, which affect the psyche. The consequences of a rampage of hormones can be: increased excitability, impulsivity, irritability, negativism, maximalism, unreasonable aggression, categorical thinking.

Adolescence is a time of vivid manifestation of character accentuation, as well as a period during which the risk of a mental disorder is increased.

1. Psychology. Before reaching the age of 11-14 years, children are interested in the outside world, get acquainted with it and practically interact, after that the knowledge of the inner world and their "I" begins. In adolescence, self-awareness rises and the self-concept is finally formed. A teenager is clearly aware of his uniqueness, seeks to know himself, reveal his abilities and potential, tries to decide on the choice of profession.

Self-esteem V puberty fluctuates a lot. A teenager's attitude towards himself is ambiguous due to the fact that he often compares himself with others and cannot help but do this. This is because the leading, that is, determining development, activity at this age is communication with peers.

Communication is not just a way to spend time, but an opportunity assert oneself, earn trust, respect, love. The feeling of belonging to a reference (reference, significant) group of peers plays huge role in adolescent personality development.

Not always conscious sex drive gives rise to new needs, experiences, emotions and interests. A person reaches a moment in his development when everything contributes to the emergence of a special and unique feeling - the first romantic love.

Two forms of teenage crisis

Unlike all previous age crises (newborns, the first year of life, the crisis of three years, the crisis of seven years), the teenage crisis cannot be continuously observed and controlled by parents. If a three-year-old kid throws tantrums, then always with his parents, the teenager will either express his indignation and retire, or close in on himself so much that he may not even greet his parents.

It is not uncommon for troubled teens to dream of running away from home and make escape attempts. An even more difficult situation arises when a child has suicidal thoughts and intentions that no one knows about. To prevent the teenage crisis from turning into a tragedy, parents should be aware of its features.

to the most frequent manifestations of the crisis adolescence includes:

Although the question of the inevitability of the crisis is debatable, yet many psychologists consider this crisis to be the main one in a person’s life and note that it is much better for the development of a person for this crisis to manifest itself in all its glory: it is better when a child rebels than when he remains quiet and obedient , as in childhood.

Since not all adolescents with the onset transition period turn into rebels, it is customary to distinguish between two possible ways development of the adolescent crisis, its two forms:

1. Crisis of independence. This "rebellious line" of behavior is characterized by: self-will, stubbornness, rudeness, aggressiveness, negativism, obstinacy, deceit, disregard for the rules, depreciation of the authority of parents, selfishness, possessiveness.

The crisis of independence has three stages:

• Precritical. The teenager begins to defend his freedom, but timidly and cautiously.
• Climax. Stage of acute conflict. A teenager acts without thinking, unpredictably and desperately. He does not understand that his behavior and words hurt his parents, he can cause significant harm to himself. This is the time when a person "fills bumps" and learn from his own mistakes.
• Postcritical. A teenager develops new principles, values, worldview. Relationships with parents and communication style change.

1. addiction crisis. This is a “calm line” that pleases and suits parents, but is less productive in terms of the development of a teenager's personality. Observed: exemplary obedience, return to children's behavior patterns, interests, games, "childish" thinking (excessive fantasizing, abstractness, illogicality), lack of independence, fears associated with society, conformism, the desire to be "like everyone else", self-doubt, anxiety .

A teenager dependent on parents risks never learning to be an adult, make decisions independently, be responsible for his words and actions, form a personal opinion, adapt to life in society, cope with difficulties, be active, enterprising, purposeful, and therefore successful and happy. .

How to communicate with a teenager

It must be understood that for a teenager, the ability to independently manage his life is not as important as confession behind him this right parents. That is why teenagers rebel when they discover a discrepancy between their rights and the rights of their parents.

If a teenager, for example, doubts whether to go or not to go to a party, then, having received a strict ban on going there from his parents, he rather accept decision "for evil" than decides to stay at home. A teenager thinks: “Why can’t I make a decision myself, like parents do? Who gave them the right to command me?! After all, they don’t ask my permission when they go somewhere!”

A teenager demands equality with adults, but at the same time continues to need their help, protection, love. Young men and women themselves do not realize this and are not able to help themselves.

It is better for parents of a teenager to adhere to such lines of conduct:

• talk about the characteristics of adolescence,
• take time to talk about sex, the intimate side of life,
• be interested in the life of a teenager, but not intrusively, without questioning and interrogation,
• reduce control,
• not resort to prohibitions, ultimatums, blackmail and other forms of control and manipulation,
• do not give intrusive advice,
• provide personal time and space,
• resolve conflicts through discussion during a conversation,
• do not respond with aggression to aggression,
• respond calmly to hurtful words to forgive them
• provide autonomy within reason,
• treat the child as an adult, do not humiliate him,
• trust, believe in him,
• do not focus on the shortcomings of appearance, on the contrary, it is better to make compliments,
• do not reject or speak too harshly and negatively about the teenager's friends,
• ask for advice, ask for an opinion about everyday life, finances and other family issues,
• to involve in the discussion of family problems,
• come to the rescue when a teenager asks for it,
• show without words that, if necessary, they are ready to listen and support him,
• do not fence off and do not ignore,
• be patient!

If the teenage crisis is coming along the line of dependency, parents will have to “separate” the teenager from themselves, wean them from old forms of behavior, help increase self-control and self-confidence, stimulate independence and independence.

Parents need to try to be not authoritarian, but authoritative for their child. From the child-parent type of relationship, you need to move to friendship otherwise there will be enmity. In order for a child to trust and be open to communication, you need to ease control and pressure and communicate with him as with an adult.

The crisis of adolescence can enter a very difficult stage when the child contacts bad companies, begins to pathologically lie, steal, drink alcohol, attempts to escape from home or commit suicide, and so on. In such cases, you should not hesitate to seek help from a psychologist.

The crisis of adolescence is indeed the most complex crisis, but it is regular and necessary step development. Don't be afraid of him!

To help parents whose children are experiencing adolescence crisis, psychological literature:

1. Vadim Rudenko “Transitional age. Destroy situations"
2. Anna Zubova “Mom of a teenager. How to get through transitional age
3. Alexandra Khodosova "Transitional age"
4. Natalia Dmitrieva “Crisis of childhood. Parenting teenagers”
5. Tatyana Avdulova “Psychology of adolescence”
6. Mira Kirshenbaum, Charles Foster “Learn to communicate with a teenager. A new look at your relationship with children. End of conflicts!”
7. Julia Lemesh “Communicate with a teenager. How?"
8. A. Ponomarenko “How to improve relations with a teenager. 100 practical tips”
9. Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish How to talk so teens will listen and how to listen so teens will talk
10. Evgeny Kashchenko, Anna Koteneva “How to talk to children about sex. A book for parents about what worries a teenager

On what line does the crisis of adolescence develop in your child (or did it develop in you personally)?