How to get rid of love for a married man? He is not worthy of you, or how to get rid of love for a married man
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How to conquer the love for a married man?
There are many types of love, but they all share something in common, which is typical for all loving and in love people: cardiopalmus, the desire to always be close to the object of your passion and do everything for a person to give him (or her) a piece of yourself. However, love is often haunted by unpleasant moments. Do we always fall in love with those people who deserve it? Why so often wonderful feeling love is accompanied by the suffering of one side or the other?
Love married woman- great thing! Not every married man managed to experience it.
The institution of marriage, as a rule, consolidates the relationship between loving people and makes them legal. As a rule, since there are situations when people in marriage are kept not at all by love, but by other, often selfish interests. Why, for example, does a woman fall in love with a married man? What pushes her into such a difficult relationship and how to behave with dignity in this difficult situation?
There are several common reasons why women get intimate with married men.
Most often, the cause of adultery lies in the psychology of a woman, in her inability to correctly and properly evaluate herself as a mature person. Very often this is a young girl who strives for love, and it doesn’t matter to her whether a man is married or free. She has not yet known the mistakes and disappointments that are so often constant companions of strong passion. She sees him, so strong, self-confident, capable of solving all her problems and assuring her of his endless love and loyalty. The first thing she sees is not his stamp in the passport at all, but his attitude: care, a manifestation of seemingly sincere interest and attention. A man, as a rule, at first tries to hide the fact that he is married. It is very convenient for him that his wife, albeit not so beloved (although not always), is waiting at home, and now there is a woman nearby who sincerely admires him and does not make unnecessary remarks.
Among other things, a man to some extent controls her behavior, using a woman's love, and she becomes dependent on him.
Another reason for some women to have relationships with married men is to seek and pursue thrills. There is a type of women who have in their blood the desire to beat off other people's men on their own whim. They are excited by the very risk of being constantly on the edge of a knife, and they experience real excitement from such a hunt. However, this situation is not at all typical - although such women do occur, they are not as common as they are shown in numerous TV shows. In addition, they do not want to stop such intrigues at all, since they like it and make up a fairly significant part of their existence.
It is interesting to look at what are the pros and cons of love for a married man. Let's start with the pros, since there are not so many of them, although for some women this is enough.
As already mentioned, a woman in love is blind - at first she does not see any obstacles due to the fact that her chosen one is married. Such a man, as a rule, gives her his love, gifts and compliments. He is gallant, courteous, which, of course, is pleasant for any lady. In addition, in such a relationship, both participants in adultery simply by definition cannot demand from each other a long and serious continuation of their relationship with all the ensuing problems and obligations. It's kind of free love, and it will only get worse for everyone if suddenly someone, either a married man or a woman, tries at some point to give this relationship a legal status. However, this can be both a minus and a plus of a relationship with a married man - depending on which side to approach the problem.
The disadvantages of such relations, as practice very eloquently shows, abound. There are many more of them than pluses, which gives reason to write this article.
So, what is a woman to do who has managed to fall in love with married man? How to break free from such relationships and start new life, more free and worthy?
Once in such a situation, you simply have to look around and make sure that not the whole world has converged on your married friend. After all, there is still a fair amount of free, unmarried men who just sleep and dream about how they would get to know a woman like you. Pay attention to those men who work with you in the same office, with whom you often come across at work, to your acquaintances or to acquaintances of your acquaintances. Do not rush to extremes and do not get acquainted with just anyone, but there are probably a sufficient number of single and beautiful men around you who are quite worthy of your attention - they are waiting for this so much!
Another tip is to love yourself the way you deserve. Very often, women choose married men as close friends precisely because of a lack of self-love, therefore they are content with the dubious role of a mistress without any chance to change the situation in the direction they want. Such relationships, as a rule, humiliate a woman, and only a lack of self-love allows her to put up with this order of things. Finally love yourself, and then the person who truly deserves you will love you! Pamper yourself, take care of yourself, visit more often fun parties, flirt with free interesting men(within reason, of course).
In order to quickly conquer your love for a married man, we advise you to also find yourself interesting hobby, a hobby that can distract you from dark thoughts and breathe new life into your leisure time. Stop counting the hours and minutes until you meet him, let your free time(which should be cherished!) flows more meaningfully and with tangible benefits. There are so many amazing things and activities in the world - the whole world is at your feet! Doing something interesting will give you the opportunity to expand your social circle, which in turn will help you get rid of the vicious dependence on a relationship with a married man. You can finally immerse yourself in work and reach career heights - you will significantly increase your self-esteem, and you will also be respected more.
Try to find fault with your married friend. Is he as perfect as you think? Look more closely, maybe he snores at night, or he has manifestations of aggression. Is he as smart as you would like? What did he achieve in life and is it worth spending your money on him at all? precious time? After all, he is deceiving his wife, one of the people closest to him, so where is the guarantee that he will not do the same to you? Do you need it?
If you really want to get out of a relationship with a married man, be firm. Of course, this cannot be done quickly and immediately. You must demonstrate your firmness to yourself and to him. If you realize the futility of such a relationship, be determined to dot the i's. You have your whole life ahead of you, and you don't have to waste your mental strength on trifles and on people unworthy of you. You deserve more and better!
A woman wants everything - from one, a man - one from all.
It is more difficult if a girl meets a married man, hopes for serious relationship, loves him, but this love brings her suffering. "... I'm a little over 20 years old. The person I love is older than me and married. We had a great relationship that lasted about a year. I lived in the hope that he would divorce and marry me. But today he said me that despite the very strong feelings can no longer meet with me. I can't imagine how to live without it. What to do? Help..."
The situation is quite typical, although there are many nuances. Typically, in most cases, the relationship with a married man ends in this way. And, despite the fact that the problem is as old as the world, tears flow like a river. And this means that there is a need to recall what it means to "love a married man."
Entering into a close relationship with a married man, a girl must understand that this relationship will almost always be based on lies. And if u like u free woman, there is a need to talk about a loved one, about the time spent together, to visit friends, then your partner will hide it in every possible way. Places for dates will be in the darkest and most remote cafes in order to exclude meeting with familiar people and protect the family from trouble. What time these meetings will be, how long, he will also decide, and you just have to wait until he can deceive his wife and give you a few hours. You should also be prepared for the fact that almost all weekend, holidays you will spend alone, because he will be busy with the family. And if you don't like it, then better relationship do not find out, otherwise you can hear a lot of unpleasant things. You knew that he had a wife, children and what you could count on. Nothing more to offer you yet he can not. The plans of your chosen one do not include anything radically changed. Changes may be, but minor. In your duet, he plays the first violin. This situation must be accepted and reconciled, realizing that such is the fate of a mistress, and not suffering from unfulfilled expectations. Or, if you can’t come to terms, it’s better to part with this person.
The moment of making a decision can be difficult. Think about the fact that when you steal time, you steal it, first of all, from yourself. Instead of looking at the world through the eyes of a free woman, you don't consider yourself free. You have a loved one, you have hope for a happy ending, you are waiting. But, if during the year he still talks about his ailing wife and children, then there will definitely not be a happy end. This year, one might say, was in vain.
And yet, as a rule, young age with married men there are insecure girls, with low self-esteem, who allow themselves to be used. It happens that such relationships drag on for many years.
"... I met a married man for more than 10 years, I was waiting for him to divorce his wife and marry me. But some difficult circumstances constantly arose, cases occurred, there were problems that he needed to solve, and I could only wait. And now I have many years, youth and best years lives in the past, I finally realized that I had nothing to wait for. I just ruined my life..." Everyone wants to be happy, love and be loved. This is a natural human need. We wish you to experience great and bright feelings in your life, so that you can be proud of them, and not hide them from others. Respect yourself as a person, value your time, do not allow yourself to be manipulated so that you do not regret anything later.
An affair with a married man in most cases is futile. Despite the feminist trend recent years, any woman wants to be the only one for her beloved man, to have a stable relationship, her family and a caring father of children. Having made a mistake and entered into a relationship with married man, sooner or later, a woman wants to complete this romance and meet her man. But often, even after breaking this connection, getting rid of love is not so easy. Lawless Heart. No matter how his brain told him that he needed to stop beating more often at the name former lover, it still begins to pound at a frantic pace and causes unbearable pain.
The best way out similar situation going to see a psychologist. Depression does not heal on its own. An experienced specialist will help you understand your thoughts and feelings, understand why the pain does not go away, and after a certain number of sessions you will be able to release your feelings and open your heart to a new life.
Parallel to psychological work You can help yourself in other ways too. For example, change the image: try new color hair, buy Nice dress, shoes and be sure to go out somewhere in a transformed form. Faithful girlfriends will not be left in Hard time and form a company.
You can write a list negative qualities former lover and all the sorrows that he brought. Most likely, the list will turn out to be rather big and will clearly show that this person is far from ideal, moreover, cunning and prone to treason. Why is he needed then?
Is it better to remember what life was like before his appearance? What woman herself was before meeting him? Cheerful, open to everything new. Don't you want to return to that time, to become the same again?
Dancing helps a lot to get rid of negative feelings and bad thoughts. Better yet, sign up for a sport. And suddenly there you will be able to meet your fate, and even an athlete. Just don't rush things. For the next relationship to be harmonious, you need to completely get rid of the previous ones from the heart.
Show respect for yourself, do not allow yourself to be humiliated by a dismissive attitude. Any woman deserves more than being a mistress. There are many free and worthy men. It's worth taking a look. You can't be a toy for another person. Freed from the old ties, feel free. It's an amazing feeling! Now you are in control of your own destiny. Don't be quick to find new love to forget the old one. Love yourself first, be a little selfish, living for your own pleasure, only in your own interests.
A bright woman, with a bright look, a slight smile will never go unnoticed. When you can remember your past without pain, a new feeling will enter your life. Remember this. Don't hide from him.
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Question to a psychologistAbout lovers and mistresses, or eternal volunteers of the love front. How many times have they told the world that it is not necessary to get involved with married people. It's like an unwritten law. Or an unspoken one. But, I so want to believe that this law is not for everyone and you can become an exception. Yes, and there is no document where some rules on this topic and "penalties" would be spelled out. And since it is not written down anywhere, then it is possible. You can love a married man. Or if you really want to, you can. And after, as they say, at least a “flood”. Wives treat their mistresses with some contempt and arrogance. Mistresses want to become wives. They want to take someone else's place. And they don't want to look for their own. With girlfriends, mistresses are talking something like “He, of course, does not love her. And they haven't had sex for a hundred years. But, you know, I can't destroy someone else's family." When I hear something like that, it just spins on my tongue, to add for my mistress, “And I would like to…”. But I understand that we are talking about different things. She is talking about her "nobility" and "generosity" to this unfortunate woman, whom her "husband does not love." And about the fact that she sincerely believes that she is better and she has such great power in her hands to destroy someone's family. And I, from “my belfry” of a psychologist, am touched and sarcastic a little over this sweet illusion of a mistress that she can do anything if she wants to. Only while here for some reason does not want to. Okay, sarcasm aside. Let's be serious and mature. So these conversations of lovers are classics of the genre. Almost all mistresses say and think so. This is a template. This stereotype. This is some external image. Fantik. There is also stuffing. Put the wrapper aside for now In fairness, it must be said that mistresses really are great smart-beauties. And they do a lot of things for someone else's husband. They try. Are invested. Selflessness is shown. And patience. On weekends and holidays, they somehow get out. And they still remain faithful. In general, almost like wives and even "better" than they are. Informally. But in fact, it’s still like that in mistresses for years and go. Because such a role as a mistress was not created in order to “marry her”, but in order to strengthen, fasten and cement. IN Soviet times there was also such a vulgar saying among the people: “a good leftist strengthens marriage.” It is so indeed. In this saying, only there was no addition that families have different strengtheners. Some families lack positive reinforcements, such as having another child, or a common cause, shared property, friends, traveling together, and so on. Then the mistress, as a strengthener of marriage, will come down. Or what a long-standing resentment between the spouses is. So they might have been divorced a long time ago. And the family had a mistress. Yes, yes, I did not make a reservation. That's right, the family. And you can continue to live. And don't get divorced. And everyone is fine. By the way, at first glance, deceived wives really act as victims, but their contribution to the appearance of a third in a pair is the same as that of men. But not about wives this time. In short, I consider mistresses to be holy women. Altruists, which are few and still need to be looked for in our time. Arguments? A lot of them. But I won't bother you. I will name just two. First. In most cases, when there is a mistress, it is great to support the functioning of the family. Some families simply do not have enough energy. A mistress is like an additional power plant, with a power source. In many families, as long as there is a mistress, second and third children are born, and houses are built, and cars regularly change from the wife-husband and other blessings pour from the sky. At the same time, there may be stormy scenes of jealousy, facts of betrayal may be revealed, the traitor may seem to be walking back and forth, but everything that concerns the material, it is quite clear, as a rule, remains in one place. In family. Second. By karmic laws, mistress takes over everything gynecological diseases kind of wife. It's like it's taking over. Probably not by choice. But that's how it works out in the end. And what about the wife, she has money, and children, and health. And after that, who will turn his tongue to scold his mistresses? They are just Miss Unselfishness, maybe they themselves, without understanding a lot. Therefore, I will join the stereotyped conversation: “Well, I can’t destroy someone else’s family.” Of course, you cannot, since your function, no matter how paradoxical it may sound, is creative. But, unfortunately, not for myself. This place makes me very sad. Evgenia Kislitsyna, psychologist in Almaty Good answer 6 bad answer 0Ludmila, hello! Smirnova Irina Fedorovna, psychologist in Minsk or via Skype Good answer 0 bad answer 0 |
