How not to fall in love with a man: psychological prevention. How not to fall in love with a guy: tips for the frivolous
There is an opinion that girls are afraid to fall in love. The fact is that most often a girl falls in love with a completely unsuitable man. For example, a gigolo or a womanizer. And all because, as they say, you can’t order your heart. It also happens that love is not mutual.
In this kind of situation, a completely logical question arises: “what to do to avoid falling in love?” " Some women go straight to see a psychologist, some act based on their own strength. When acting on your own, you need to understand what and how best to do so that it doesn’t turn out even worse.
Many people are sure that it is impossible to resist such a feeling as love. However, psychologists completely disagree with this opinion. They proved that absolutely any feelings can be controlled, even such as infatuation and love. Moreover, it is not only possible, but also necessary. Several working methods have been created for control. All that remains is to use one of them, or better yet several at once.
Psychologists have found that falling in love is nothing more than a feeling of all-consuming delight, in which any actions of a man seem ideal and correct. Sometimes even disadvantages develop into advantages. For example, if a man she likes fights on the street, then the girl views him as strong and fearless. A logical solution suggests itself: it is enough to concentrate on the shortcomings. As soon as a girl begins to see shortcomings in a man, a cooling of feelings occurs almost immediately. Moreover, if a man’s advantages are considered as disadvantages, then the cooling process occurs many times faster. For example, if a man is successful, then he can be considered a complete careerist and workaholic who will never find free time for his family. The main rule in this method is to inflate the shortcomings to enormous proportions. Through quite a short time the fervor of feelings will fade and “love” will pass.
Another answer to the question “what to do to avoid falling in love?” "is a refusal to get closer. Everyone knows that feelings awaken at the moment of rapprochement. It is precisely when common interests, habits, and tastes in something are discovered. Therefore, in order to protect yourself from falling in love, it is enough to remember that there is nothing in common between you and cannot be. They greatly stimulate fantasies on the topic “how terrible everything will be if we are together.” Imagine in your mind terrible outcomes, eternal swearing, complete dissatisfaction. It is recommended to search instead common interests discrepancies. And not just look for them, but develop them into thoughts about how terribly such discrepancies will affect family life or simple communication together.
When falling in love, all thoughts about a person are erotic or daydreams. In such cases, you need to think that the future chosen one is nothing in bed. Sex takes at most a minute, after which he turns his back to you and falls asleep like the dead.
Not every girl wants to have such a specimen nearby. The brighter your negative thoughts are, the faster the love will pass. The main thing is to control yourself and not give in to love feelings.
Another good way is to elevate self-importance. It is very important to exalt your strengths and highlight the shortcomings of your other half. This process must be accompanied by thoughts that such a wretched person cannot even stand next to him. It’s even better to elevate your shortcomings over his advantages. Thus, the man himself can cool his feelings and try to break everything off. Every man wants to be perfect in the eyes of his chosen one. And if the chosen one does not value him at all, then the man will not stay with her.
Another way that helps not to fall in love is to put your other half on the same level as your relatives. It never occurs to anyone to fall in love with their father or brother, mother or sister. Therefore, it is necessary to equate the object of love, for example, with a brother or uncle. You can accompany yourself with the statements “I don’t want to fall in love,” “I don’t need this,” etc. This method is suitable only for those who are in the early stages of falling in love. If love has grown into something more, then comparison with relatives will no longer help.
If the feelings turned out to be higher, but it is necessary to cool the love, then you can make inquiries about the man from his ex-girlfriends, or with friends. In communication, you need to find out about all the shortcomings, about the reasons for separation, about bad habits, about the intimate part, if the conversation allows it. Then all that remains is to concentrate on the thought that the person cannot improve and after a while the love disappears. Then the imperfections begin to become visible. This sign suggests that love is about to pass.
A personal meeting is a good option. For some couples, such a meeting helps resolve all issues and agree on the future. For example, lovers decide to keep meetings to a minimum or stop seeing each other altogether. Before such a conversation, you should decide within yourself whether this step really needs to be taken. You need to figure out what exactly the person conquered you with and made you fall in love with him. By knowing your weaknesses, you can protect yourself from similar situations in future.
The most popular advice from psychologists is to abstract from thoughts. This means that you need to spend more time with friends and make new acquaintances.
However, you need to be careful, otherwise new acquaintances may result in new crushes. The best thing is to spend time with old friends, go for walks, go to the cinema, skating rink, concerts. At such moments, there are no thoughts about how not to fall in love with a guy. Many people prefer to go on vacation, retire and start reading books.
If you have few friends and have no desire to make new ones, then you can diversify your everyday life by going to Gym, you can do some sports. You can also make an appointment with a psychologist, with whom you can consult on matters of the soul. There are many options, the main thing is desire.
Nowadays, more and more people are becoming disappointed in love, relationships, and even their partners themselves. Therefore it becomes topical issue How to stop falling in love with everyone. Our article is devoted to this topic. After reading it, you will find answers to your questions.
To avoid falling in love, you need to focus on something else, for example, on yourself. It is also worth making plans that will help you not lose your head from falling in love. There are many more ways. Now we will look at them. But first things first.
Focus on yourself
Those who are interested in learning how to stop falling in love should start thinking more about themselves, concentrating on their person. You can tell everyone that you don’t want a relationship right now. If someone likes you, then tell that person (or people) that you want to be on this moment friends and nothing more.
Goals
How to stop falling in love with girls? Just. You need to redirect your energy in a different direction. For example, get busy achieving your goals. If you want to succeed at work, then focus on your career. If you want to achieve something else, then focus on that. You can create a special vision board. Define your goals there, while removing everything related to love and relationships. Next, make a clear plan of your actions to achieve what you want. This way you can focus your attention on your goals.
Just remember that being too goal-oriented can harm your relationships with others. Therefore, do not forget about your loved ones and friends. Find at least a little time to communicate with them.
Educate yourself
If you want to get rid of emotional experiences, then start taking care of your health. What does this concept include? Self-care means proper nutrition, proper rest, regular physical exercise, the time you set aside for your favorite activities.
Fall in love with yourself
How to stop falling in love with men? Simple enough. You need to love yourself. Sometimes people jump into relationships quickly because they don't think they're attractive. If you pay enough attention to yourself, then everything in your life will change for the better. Remember every day that you good man that you have many advantages. You can also pamper yourself by inviting you to a restaurant or to a movie theater. Always pamper yourself with compliments and gifts. Show everyone how much you love yourself. This is how others will treat you.
Move away from the person
How to stop falling in love and how to cope with your feelings if they have already arisen?
Move a little away from the person you like. That is, reduce the time spent alone with him to a minimum. When he tries to invite you to a personal meeting, offer to gather in a crowd with friends.
Don't communicate on social networks!
Communication over the Internet can also awaken your feelings. So try not to chat in in social networks with a person. You may even have to use some programs that hide your appearance on these sites.
Forget about flirting!
Flirting can awaken your feelings for a person. Sometimes random affectionate touches and glances can send the wrong signal about your feelings. Communicate better in general phrases, nothing more.
Remember the negative qualities
Every person has negative qualities or character traits. Therefore, if you think that you are falling in love with a person, remember him negative sides. Then it will be easier for you not to think about him.
Problems in love relationships
How to stop falling in love? How to avoid relationships and the problems that arise in them? It is worth thinking about solutions to these problems. After all, because of them, a person, of course, wants to repel prospective partners. Try to determine what drives your desire to leave the relationship. It is possible that you are afraid of being betrayed.
Habits in relationships. Maybe we should change them?
Think about it: perhaps in a relationship you give a lot, but receive nothing in return. Maybe this is the reason that you don’t want to fall in love or build a relationship. Reflect on past experiences and draw conclusions. Develop habits that will improve your relationships in the future. It is possible that you need to meet people for a relationship not in a bar or nightlife, but in a park or a club of similar interests.
Different type of people
We've already figured out how to stop falling in love with guys. Now let's try to find ways to solve the problem. For example, you fell in love with the same type of people. It is possible that they are the ones who cannot be in relationships, are not able to build them. It is worth giving preference to another type. What if you then manage to build a relationship that will bring you mostly positive emotions.
It may be that earlier, for example, you fell in love with someone like that.” bad guy", now give preference to a more romantic and conservative person. Individuals who waste their power will not be able to build meaningful relationships.
Do not hurry!
If you are one of those people who can fall in love within a week, then it is possible that this habit is affecting the relationship. Try to take things slower, give each other more time to understand whether you are even compatible with your intended partner. You don’t need to see each other every day right away; a couple of meetings a week will be enough. You shouldn't think about sex on the first date either. Give yourself time to get closer to your partner, and only then enter into an affair with him. intimate relationships.
Forget about fears
All fears must be conquered. If you are afraid of relationships, attachment, then the only sure way to defeat them is to face them. For example, if you're worried that you'll have to give up your goals and desires for the sake of love, then you first need to figure out how important they are to a potential partner. In addition, at the very beginning of the relationship, it is worth setting priorities. Then you will be able to maintain your goals even while in a relationship.
Contact a psychologist
Those who are worried about how to stop falling in love with men should consult a psychologist. It is possible that you have some kind of emotional trauma in the past, such as being used. Only with a psychologist can you work through the problem. After which you will be able to let love into your life. It is advisable to contact trusted specialists.
Love is a well-known, sometimes very pleasant and bright feeling. How many people in the world live for the sake of love, how many bad and good deeds are committed for the sake of it. How much happiness love brings to a person. But she also has back side medals. Love makes many people weak, disarms and forces them to do extremely stupid and ridiculous things. Which is extremely contraindicated for a man, as it deprives him of his masculinity and the qualities for which the girl chose him.
If you don’t want to be a slave of love and go crazy over a certain girl or several at once, you should learn not to lose your head and not fall into a love pool, while maintaining sobriety of mind and rationality of actions.
There is one more reason why this may be useful to you - not all girls are worthy of your love, not everyone needs it, but you, if you have already been hooked by another beauty, will have a hard time.
Experiences and torment, jealousy and stupid actions - this is what awaits you in in this case. Well, your love object in this situation will only enjoy your vanity, your recklessness and loving eyes. When you fall in love with the wrong girl, as a rule, such a madam can only get on your nerves and use you for her own purposes.
For example, it will go through your material condition (and nerves), when it runs out, it will simply send you to hell. In general, if you don’t want to find yourself in the role of a lover and therefore an inadequate fool, remember some of the tips described below and not a single beauty will take over your heart.
1. Always have in your arsenal several girls who are crazy about you and many different numbers of girlfriends and other available girls. Thus, you are unlikely to be completely overwhelmed when meeting a new young lady. There is always someone to call, write, meet or have fun at the club or at home. When there is no choice, it provokes you to become attached to almost the first crocodile you meet, and of course this is sad. Therefore, if you cannot yet boast of the crowd of girls around you, slowly begin to “gather” around you those who like you and who will be crazy about you. To begin with, the simplest and most ordinary girls will do, whom you can easily and effortlessly hook and seduce. Then move on to more beautiful and enviable young ladies; the more “quality” girls surround you, the more your self-esteem grows.
2. if you meet a girl and you begin to understand that it is she who attracts you, attracts you, and plans and hopes for her begin to slowly form in your head, immediately switch your thoughts to something else. Emotions shouldn't control you.
Firstly, under no circumstances start to idealize her, this could end badly! If you don’t want to fall in love, it’s better, on the contrary, to imagine her in the worst possible way - with a set of unpleasant habits and stupid ambitions. Did the girl manage to hook you with her figure and pretty face? Well, now imagine her without makeup and in some unfashionable baggy robe, immediately all her beauty disappears and such a pretty lady turns into an ordinary girl There are plenty of them walking around the city, sitting in bars or hanging out in clubs.
If you appreciate her character, self-confidence, optimism and smile, you can also twist this in your own way. Any flaw can be turned into an advantage, just as any perfection can be turned into a flaw. Optimism and an eternal smile are a sign of indifference and narrow-mindedness. Self-confidence is a common delusion of grandeur, conceit, ambition or arrogance. Ideal people no, every person has their own shortcomings and complexes, and your new friend is no exception. So take it off pink glasses, look at it with a sober look new girlfriend and don’t bother worrying about her in vain - it’s unlikely that she’s any different from the general mass of all girls. Constantly focus your attention on the shortcomings that you will inevitably find in it.
3. Once you meet a girl, try not to meet her every day, that is, you need your meetings not to be regular, just as you should call her less and write messages less often. It’s better that she writes and calls you herself, and you’d better spend your time on sports, favorite hobby or work. Get distracted, chat with other girlfriends, drink beer at a bar with friends - spend your time fun and relaxed.
4. For many guys, there is another rather banal way to avoid falling in love with a girl. Sleep with her. Usually after sex, a guy begins to understand that there is nothing exclusive about a girl, everything about her is the same as for others. Young ladies know about this method and are not too willing to have sexual intercourse, at least they try to delay this spicy moment as long as possible in order to tie you down. Well, on the contrary, try to bring it closer as quickly as possible.
Moreover, often after sex, girls begin to pine for their partner, write stupid messages to him and confess their love. As you know, it is the forbidden fruit that is sweet, so after the girl herself begins to run after the guy, he loses interest in her with amazing speed.
5. think that a person in love looks very stupid from the outside. Yes, you yourself have probably laughed more than once at such enchanted Romeos, do you really want to find yourself in a similar role now? And with what condescension and even a hint of disgust did you treat the girls who were in love with you, who were ready to do anything for you? Surely their tears caused nothing but pity and contempt in you.
Do you really want to become just as pathetic and weak? Will it really be pleasant for you to watch your sweetheart’s friends and girlfriends giggle behind your back? In this world, strength and power are valued, but love makes a person weak. And is yours worthy? new girl so that you become an ordinary weak-willed weakling? Do you think she is good and kind? This is how she is for now, but as soon as she realizes that she has firmly hooked you, she will instantly begin to twist ropes out of you and rearrange you in her own way.
Remember - either you love or they love you. And believe me, it is much more pleasant when they love and extol you, and not when you find yourself in the role of a loving admirer.
Why does a woman fall in love, try to do something for a relationship with a man, develop this relationship, introduce the man to her relatives, dream of a wedding, etc., but the man is indifferent to all this? And why does it happen that when a woman has already “burned out” in relation to a man, he suddenly begins to become active and literally besiege the woman, harassing her with his attentions, courtship and offers of a serious relationship? Read more about the mistakes women make in the book. “19 mistakes with men. How to make a man love and respect you". In this article we will talk about the most basic mistake. After all, letters describing such situations and questions, when a man seems to like a woman, but he doesn’t do anything special, come to me regularly, once a week.
So what's the deal? Why do men behave this way? Why do they show such indifference to relationships with the woman they like?
There are two main reasons for such situations:
— male emotions develop much more slowly than women;
- after a while strong love the woman passes, she reduces her activity and finally the man can feel like a hunter. As I already wrote in the book “How to make a Man fall in love with you for life and get married successfully?”, it is important for a man to feel stronger, to conquer a woman, to see her weakness and “save” her, help, etc.
(I will not describe the third reason, that the woman was mistaken that a man likes her, in this article).
Now, in order.
Law male psychology reads as follows. A man matures MUCH slower for a serious relationship than a woman.
If we take an example, then it’s almost a standard situation when:
“The woman thinks that after the first or second meeting the man has already decided that he likes her, and he will definitely call tomorrow. In fact, a man still thinks, decides and chooses.
— After the third to fifth date, a woman already believes that they have enough serious relationship to show your boyfriend to friends, relatives, etc. The man thinks that he has only more or less decided that he is ready to date a woman, but he is unpleasantly surprised when he is asked to meet the woman’s friends and parents. (Few men like “bride shows” in general, and almost everyone doesn’t like bridesmaids ahead of time).
— A woman thinks that a man wants to marry her, but a man only thinks that he is ready to meet his girlfriend’s relatives and friends. He had not even begun to think about getting married.
Such a discrepancy in the speed of development of emotions can sometimes cause strong conflicts between a man and a woman and disappointment in a woman in her chosen one.
Yes, this is understandable if a woman is already choosing Wedding Dress, and a man only thinks whether this girl will be his constant or he needs to look for another, then a conflict is inevitable.
What to do? Of course, sometimes a man can and should be pushed 
the next stage of the relationship, sometimes you can drag it out, sometimes you can hit it harder (a joke, of course, but, as you know, there is some truth in every joke). However, the basic strategy is as follows.
What does this look like in practice?
If we take the very beginning of a relationship, when a man meets a girl he likes, he takes the initiative and finds out her phone number or where she works. After such a meeting, a woman expects approximately the following.
Since a man picked up the phone, it means he already likes her. But, firstly, it is not at all necessary that this is the case. (Men answer the phone at the most various reasons. Maybe for an argument, maybe develops self-confidence (I described in detail how to develop confidence in the book “How to become more confident in yourself in 3 months”) and courage in communicating with women, maybe a dozen more reasons). Secondly, men rarely call the next day, because men, as I already said, are emotional slow-witted.
For him to understand that he really likes a girl, he needs not a few hours, but several days, and sometimes even more than a week. That's why, first, don’t expect the man to call you back at all.
The rule for communicating with men here is very simple. Balance your feelings with the man’s feelings. If a man likes you and he shows it, then you can also show that you like him. If a man is ready to leave other women and be only with you, then also stop flirting with other men. If a man is in love, then you can also show him that you are in love too.
Just don’t need to write long letters (SMS messages) about love to your chosen one. A man is built differently, and Love letters It is unlikely that they will have an impact on him, most likely only a negative one. If you really want to write, then write (it’s better to say, not write) what kind of hero he is, why you like him, how he did something, and it made you happy. But it’s better to tear up love letters.
Bottom line, don’t fall in love with a man before he falls in love with you. Don't fall in love with a man too quickly. And if the process of love itself is difficult to completely control, then it is quite possible to slow it down and reduce the intensity. (If necessary, of course, but usually it is necessary).
And again about the initiative. As I already wrote, the second reason that the relationship does not develop, and then the man suddenly begins to show activity, is that the woman stops taking the initiative.
The law of male psychology here is:
A man doesn't want a woman's love just like that. He wants to achieve this love and make his woman happy.
In many ways I will repeat what I wrote earlier in other articles and above, but repetition is usually very useful.
If you have read my articles and books before, you probably already understood that a man does not need a woman’s love as such, just like that. He needs to achieve this love, he needs to somehow help the woman so that she falls in love with him. He needs to do something so that the woman is amazed and understands what a hero the man is and, accordingly, falls in love with him after that.
That is, of course, a man wants a woman’s love, but he doesn’t just need love. He needs to achieve this love.
Consequently, when a woman falls in love with a man, her stranglehold and initiative towards him weakens. And then the finally freed man sighs full breasts and can begin to conquer a woman and act. Well, the fact that a woman is no longer interested in this man is his problem. Let him try hard, maybe everything will work out.
In this article I will not describe in detail the initiative and the smallest details in which it manifests itself. But the main thing that can and should be learned is that you give the activity to the man, and everything in your relationship will develop much more naturally.
Let's sum it up. If a man did nothing when a woman was in love with him, and then, when she stopped liking him, he suddenly began a “siege,” then usually the main reason is that the woman does not take into account one of the most important features the psyche of men - a low rate of emergence of emotions and failure to accept initiative in relationships from a woman.
Use this knowledge in your relationships with men, and these relationships will become much easier to develop and will be much stronger.
Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.
Sometimes it happens that in some a certain person you definitely better not fall in love. And even if we realize and understand this, we still have to fight off incipient love at every step. If you suspect that it's probably not in your best interest to fall for someone, even if there is something real growing in your heart, you better find a way to stop it from happening and avoid strong feelings. Below are a few steps that I hope will help you avoid falling in love with the wrong person.
Difficulty: It won't be easy.
You will need:
- determination;
- strong will;
- sense of self-preservation;
- a very good and patient friend.
1. Open your mind and listen to what it is telling you. If you think that not falling in love with someone would definitely be better and it would be extremely wise of you not to get involved with him/her, then you need to follow your own advice. Close your heart and dampen your libido for a few hours, and follow the guidance of your own instinct. Listen to what your intuition is telling you, which is obviously screaming deep inside.
2. Having once agreed to listen to your own mind instead of the dictates of your heart or sexual desire, write down what your instincts were trying to show you. There are some significant flaws in the sticky, swamp-like idea of starting a relationship with this woman or this man, otherwise your intuition would not be screaming inside you in the hope of being heard. Which ones exactly? negative sides is there in this potential relationship? When you open your eyes and finally see them, take notes accordingly. Very often certain things and phrases spoken inner voice, seem insignificant or not so scary, while reading it on paper or saying it out loud makes us look at the situation much more realistically.
3. Having compiled this list of flaws, negative aspects, think about them carefully. Dwell on each one in detail. Perhaps they include her/his temperament, her/his jealousy, her/his tendency to dramatize everything, her/his reputation, loving nature, demandingness, idealism, whether she/he has a partner in present moment, values that are completely different from yours, etc. Everything that one way or another intuitively gives direction to future problems. Now, be honest with yourself. All this is far from the most good qualities and situations, but rather potential harbingers of serious limitations on your capabilities in relationships. All of these things and the like can make your life hell in just a couple of months.
4. Internally repeat over and over again everything you have understood about him/her when you are about to fall under her/his spell. Ask yourself what problems might arise due to his/her psychological and other limitations and think about the worst possible scenario. Could he become violent? Is it possible that she/he will start insulting you? Be objective, if you don’t want to believe it, this does not mean that it is impossible. Will constant skirmishes, quarrels, mutual accusations, or even deception and subterfuge begin between you because of some of his/her qualities or external problems? Chances are good that all this is very close to the truth.
5. After considering the worst possible scenarios in detail, decide for yourself whether this is really the life you would like to live. Do you want a relationship with someone who will constantly insist that there is nothing wrong with a little flirting with others? Do you want to be in a relationship where he/she controls your every move? Do you want a man who will become physically violent if you talk to or smile at another man, or if you simply spend time in the company of another man? Do you need a woman who will call you 20 times a day and cause scandals?
6. Now that you understand how his/her participation can turn your life into complete chaos, tell her/him that you are not interested in a relationship (if any progress has already begun in the direction of establishing a connection), and/ or start avoiding him/her (if you haven't made any attempts to get closer) in every possible way.
7. Avoid romantic, sentimental music, it will only encourage your loving mood and desire to dream. If you are trying to get over someone, don't listen to stupid love songs. Switch to something upbeat/upbeat/rhythmic. Listen to music that makes you want to jump out of your seat and get moving.
And keep moving away, as far away from her/him in your thoughts as you can. The further you go, the better.
8. Find yourself something to do on a regular basis that will easily distract you from unnecessary thoughts - it could be a hobby or something serious, helping someone or some kind of organizational event, anything that within a few weeks will require mental effort and serious attention from you.
9. Be honest with yourself.
If you like someone, this does not mean at all that she/he is obliged to reciprocate your feelings. The phrase “why am I not good for you?” in love is inadequate, because we all fall in love for some specific reason subjective reasons, and not at the first person you meet.
Further, just because you told yourself that you don't want anything from him/her does not mean that you will be able to follow through with your attitude. In the end, you fell in love. Grab your breasts good friend and spend time with him/her, let him listen to you, let him bear with you whining about your unfulfilled love. Let him shake you up properly from time to time, but also let him speak out. If it's a true friend, she/he will remind you how lucky you are to have escaped that relationship/that unrequited crush and moved on.
10. Remember that between passion/desire to possess/attraction and love, romance and real relationships There is a big difference. It is quite possible that he/she is absolutely not the person you would like to see next to you, with whom you would like to build a relationship, you just crave her/his short-term attention, and often this is impossible. Move forward, further. There will be others who will stir up your libido and make your heart burn with fire, and this next one may very well be the one for you. If this happens again, check the person again for serious potential flaws and then decide if you can live with her/him!
Additions and warnings:
Even knowing that you should avoid him/her and everything connected with her/him, including your own thoughts, there will still be a feeling inside you. serious fight, while you are constrained by your attraction. Remember again and again all the negative points that you have identified and their consequences, and force yourself to constantly keep them in mind;
Don't close your heart like you've touched a switch - it will only lead to worst consequence such as callousness, cynicism, bitterness and a future inability to feel and understand others. You will have to overcome yourself with the help of logical arguments, and not lose your humanity - the latter is easier, but will bring serious consequences for you;
The above steps may not help you, but if you find yourself in a similar terrible situation in the future, remember that there are always ways to get out of it, you just may need something purely individual - don’t give up, gather your will and look for something that will help you.
