Compliments to the boss woman. Business compliment as a means of communication with a client

05.10.2017

How often in business life do we need to establish contact with the interlocutor? Remember: you came to a meeting with a stranger, you have limited time, and you should not just tell a potential client about the possibilities of insurance, you need to have time to make friends with him. Otherwise, he will not tell you anything about himself or his family, and your meeting will turn out to be just a waste of time. Or another situation. You have come to a business exhibition. And your goal is to get as many contacts as possible potential clients or new consultants. That is for a short time, 3-5 minutes, you need to have time to win over the interlocutor. At the same time, your task is not just to get acquainted, but to make a business acquaintance.

The easiest way to establish contact with a stranger is to compliment him.

Almost every day we make compliments to relatives, friends, colleagues. A compliment is the easiest way to please someone. And with a stranger, thanks to a compliment, you can easily establish contact, make an acquaintance or make friends. In this article, we will talk not just about a compliment, but about a compliment that we can use in business communication. This is a business compliment. Remember the very first stage of the meeting. Relaxation. Sometimes we don't know what to say to a stranger especially in the first minute. The simplest phrases that we often use: what is your beautiful office how easy it is to get to you. Everyone has their own preparation for such a case. Often the manager instructs the counselor not to continue talking about insurance programs until contact has been made. But has it ever happened to you that contact is established in the middle or at the very end of the meeting, because only at the end of the conversation did you finally find general theme for discussion? In order to shorten the process of establishing contact as much as possible, you can use a business compliment. The simplicity of this method lies in the fact that absolutely every person can sincerely say something pleasant. With what nicer to people will communicate with you, the more they will trust you and the higher the chance of a successful deal. Of course, any sincere compliment is good in itself. But some compliments are better than others.

Exist simple rules business compliment:

Avoid trivial compliments. Give specific compliments.
Don't just focus on the obvious. Pay attention to subtle details.
If you're praising a person, it's not enough to just compliment them. Tell me why you say that.

And now in more detail.

1. Avoid trite compliments. Give specific compliments. Banal, ordinary compliments our interlocutor hears every day (how good you look, you beautiful smile What a beautiful office you have. And it is important for us that when meeting, the interlocutor remembers us and expresses a desire to talk about himself. When giving a compliment, we often start using ordinary words: Fine! Awesome! Great!

Even a simple replacement of such general expressions with more expressive ones can significantly color your compliment.

Let's practice.

Instead of great - great!

Good - impressive!

Interesting - exciting!

Kind - caring!

When a person hears compliments, he seeks to hear something definite about himself.

Specific compliments sound truer and more realistic.

Because it is the specificity of the compliment that allows the interlocutor to feel his sincerity and truthfulness.

We are used to giving people general and banal compliments.

You can just say to the manager you came to meet: "You have a very good secretary".

And you say: “You have a professional secretary. She warned me in advance that you would be late.”.

When people tell us Nice words We are pleased that our interlocutor noticed in us what we are proud of.

Compare:

Your new business suit just wonderful.

Your new suit very elegant.You look professional in it. Would like to do business with you.

If you find it difficult to make a compliment specific, just add the word "because" to the compliment. So let's try:

Your speech was great because you had great contact with the audience and the stories from your experience made a strong impression on us.

You are very caring, because you always find time for little things that bring joy.

You are very attentive, because you always notice in people what they are especially proud of.

You have changed the style. This new suit really suits you because it reflects your personality and organization.

My partner is the best because...

Your story is very instructive because...

Complimenting with specific language is easy. You just need to be sincere and make it a habit for yourself. And it is impossible to do business compliments in a different way. Otherwise, they will appear stretched.

2. Avoid paying attention only to the obvious. Pay attention to subtle details.

When we comment on the obvious positive traits, it makes less impression than when we notice hidden features

Compare:

You prepared and delivered your presentation very well.

You made a good presentation, because everyone was sitting without breathing - listening to you. And the joke at the end is especially good.

You made a good presentation. You good memory, and you just hit the audience with concrete facts.

The more hidden details people notice, the more sincere their words seem. Don't focus too much on external qualities. They are visible to everyone. Focus on the inside.

“You have a new portfolio! At your place stylish haircut!» - how easy it is to make compliments regarding external qualities, because it is the appearance of a person that we see in the first place. The point is also that, by complimenting only appearance, we ourselves, without realizing it, let people know that external data is more important for us. And this is most likely false. After all, our real virtues are our character, our abilities and achievements, they express our essence. It's not about stopping complimenting the other person's appearance. But if you pay attention to personal traits of a person, you will see that it is much more pleasant for people to hear something about themselves that is not conspicuous.

Practice. The next time you start praising someone's outer qualities, shift your focus to their inner qualities. Instead of " You have a great smile!" Tell: " Your smile is contagious! The people around you are always good mood ».

3. If you're praising a person, it's not enough to just compliment them. Tell me why you say that.

For example, if you praise someone's work - tell us why this work is so unusual! If you run an agency, you will certainly be pleased to hear from managers and consultants that you are an excellent leader. But at the same time, you understand that your job is precisely to be a good leader. You want to know what exactly makes you so in the eyes of your colleagues.

You are an excellent leader because you can stop any conflict situation. There is always a positive working atmosphere in our agency.

As a leader, you are an example for us. You can intelligently combine work and personal life. You all succeed.

« I have a great financial advisor. Talk to him, because he, like a real doctor, does not just talk about insurance options, he works with the needs and feelings of clients. And he will select options that will solve exactly your life issues.».

More examples:

You have time to work and study at the same time. This speaks of your willpower and a serious ability to self-organize.

Are you able to perform at large audience. You do it very naturally and convincingly.

Knowing how to properly make business compliments is a kind of art. And the more often you do it, the better you get.

How to Accept Compliments Another way to create a welcoming environment is to learn how to accept compliments the right way. Yes Yes. You also need to be able to accept compliments. And it turns out that many people find it difficult to accept praise in their address.

How do we respond to compliments? Remember!

Irina, you have an amazing hairstyle today. Well, I haven't dyed my hair in a long time.

Mikhail, your speech was interesting and emotional. - Don't worry, I was so worried.

Alexander, there is a magnificent painting hanging on this wall. - Well, what are you, she just closes the spot on the wallpaper.

Maria, you have elegant suit. Thanks, he's really old.

Did you recognize yourself? Did you smile? Now seriously.

Many of us automatically reject compliments. When we react to compliments in this way, we humiliate the words of the interlocutor. We kind of doubt his words. And we nullify all his sincerity and desire to please us. Whatever the reason for our resistance, we must learn to accept a compliment with gratitude. Otherwise, we injure the interlocutor who complimented us. But sometimes you need to muster up the courage to dare to say something to people, all the more pleasant.

It's better to answer like this:

How nice of you to notice.

Thank you for your attention.

It's so kind of you.

And lastly the most main secret a business compliment that will help you easily "open" the interlocutor.

It is best if the person does not just hear and accept your compliment, but really perceives it. And it's very easy to do it!

After giving a compliment, ask the person a question.

You are a very rich person. It must not have been easy to earn such a fortune. It speaks of your determination and courage. Tell us where did you start?

You have so many diplomas hanging on your wall. You are probably a very popular person in your professional circles. Why did you receive them?

Answering your question, the interlocutor, firstly, will automatically agree with what you said, that is, he will accept your compliment. And secondly, when answering a question, he will tell a lot of interesting things about himself, which will then help you easily transfer the conversation to his family and loved ones.

And in this way you will be able to quickly establish contact, win over the interlocutor, acquire business partner and another friend. After all, a business compliment will help you maintain a business relationship.

If you want to compliment me, compliment my brains.

Christina Young

Only the boss himself can distinguish flattery from a compliment.

Igor Karpov

We spend a significant part of our lives at work, and success, mood, and satisfaction with our work depend on our relationships with managers and colleagues. Compliments significantly improve these relationships.

Your overwhelmed colleague will greatly appreciate it if you compliment him for helping you: "It's good that we have people like you, always ready to help."

It is traditionally believed that words of approval and compliments can only be spoken by the boss to subordinates. But a kind word and the boss is pleased! So why shouldn't the subordinate take the initiative? Here are examples of compliments you can give your manager:“You know how not only to lead people, but also to empathize with them.” Or: "You care about the people you work with." Perhaps, while this is a bit of an exaggeration, but it can (due to the inspiring effect of compliments, which we have already discussed when considering the psychological foundations of compliments) push him to work on his business image. Then he has a chance to hear the sincere: “You not only taught me how to organize my work, but also changed my life.” Or: “Before, entering the office, I felt so stressed that I wanted to run away from work. Now everything is different.” And further: “My work has meaning, self-confidence, and all this is thanks to you!”, “You are strict, but fair.” Believe me, after these words you will not notice excessive severity from your boss. A compliment is the best policy.

But one should not praise for qualities that a person does not at all strive to improve, because he considers it superfluous or unnecessary.

For example, one of your colleagues, a fairly tough leader, believes that wasting compliments is not at all the dignity of a real organizer. He is convinced that subordinates cannot be pampered. And if you try to compliment him: “I heard that you are brilliant at giving compliments!”, then he will most likely be offended.

The manager will probably be pleased to hear from one of the employees that he is a "great leader." But at the same time, he knows that his job is to be a good leader. And therefore, if they say that he is a good leader, this may mean for him that he is simply doing what is supposed to be done. It is much more important for him to understand what exactly makes him a “great” leader. Eg: “As a leader, you are exclusively positive example principles." Or: “When I see how big a place family takes in your life, I understand how important it is to have this in your life.”

Compliments to subordinates significantly improve their attitude towards work. In Chapter 3, we discussed the Pygmalion effect. (psychological phenomenon of justified expectations), consisting in the fact that the expectations of managers regarding the results of the work of their subordinates can influence these results themselves. The expectations of managers who highly appreciate the level of professionalism of their subordinates are justified. Managers originally set up for bad job subordinates, that's what they get. Compliments to subordinates effective way increase their productivity!

Compliments to subordinates are a property of the leaders themselves high level. Jim Collins, in his book Good to Great, identified the main difference between such leaders. It lies in the fact that all these people have humanity. He coined the term humility– the ability to understand and support other people in their development. How to "compose" a suitable compliment to a subordinate? He advised the following.

Every time, listen carefully to what your interlocutor (in particular, a subordinate) says. Do not rush to build a defense and condemn. Avoid quick assessments.

Do not be distracted by extraneous thoughts. Take a pause to realize what your interlocutor said and understand his motivation: why he said it. And only then start talking back.

Try to see the situation through the eyes of the person you want to understand.

Only then can you give a nice personal compliment, which will set your interlocutor for improvement and development. And always remember that the most important thing in a compliment is its sincerity.

compliments to colleagues. you wanted from pure heart give a compliment to a colleague who quickly completed the task, and praised: “Well, well done!” But this did not please him, and he snapped.

This is because (as we explained in Chapter 1) praise and compliments are completely different things. When we praise someone, we act as an evaluator: “Well done, you did a great job!” It seems to be nothing offensive, on the contrary, solid positive emotions. However, the interlocutor did not express gratitude. Because you seem to have risen above him, releasing praise from top to bottom, like a parent who praised a child for finally doing a good homework.

If you really want to give a compliment, then your position should, on the contrary, be a little from the bottom up. There may be several options here.

Option 1. You express your admiration: “I am always amazed at how easily and quickly you can handle such difficult tasks!”

Option 2. You do not hint at your inability, but openly point to it: “Wow, how you instantly grasp everything! And yesterday I struggled with this problem for a long time, but I did not solve it. ” This is the most irresistible compliment.

Option 3. You can use a compliment hint. You say thoughtfully: “Now I understand that experience and education are priceless things.” Works flawlessly.

A few more good compliments to colleagues:

– Natasha, your smile cheers me up for the whole day!

– Igor, and how do you manage to bring only good news?

The more specific the compliment, the better. "You brilliantly answered difficult questions in a recent meeting." "You managed to focus the attention of the audience on our plans."

"You good man' sounds weaker than “You know, you helped me so much with the report!” By the way, when we give ourselves the trouble to notice the specifics, it is much easier for us to be creative.

The following instructive story testifies to the importance of compliments in a team. Supervisor Russian company(American) banned employees from complimenting each other, fearing that they could be perceived as "sexual harassment". The employees did not appreciate this great victory for the American feminists: some found themselves another job, others began to work worse, and the newcomers did not stay long. The American did not take into account that Russian women accustomed to the emotional support they usually receive in the form of compliments.

A compliment for a woman is an obligatory “attribute” of courtship. And in general, why shouldn't a woman do something nice sincere words? Praise for good hairstyle admire her smile. Business for men habitual and even obligatory.

But how to compliment a man and what is it for? Is it just to snatch some benefit for yourself? Or even a cat sweet Nothing Nice? We'll figure out.

Women are much more talkative than men. But the flow of their phrases is sometimes directed in the wrong direction. Here is where their eloquence most often manifests itself:

In gossip and conversations with friends. About fashion, weather, divorce and more.

In a showdown with her husband. That's where the guy can't put a word in.

Asking for advice. A woman knows everything: how to treat gout and how to get out of the global crisis.

And you don’t have to shout: “OK, Google!”, Just ask a woman - and she will give out detailed information no worse than the internet. Let it be distorted. But on pleasant words a man (whether he is a beloved husband or work colleague), women are often stingy with words.

Why? Yes, somehow it is not accepted, or something. You can, for example, write pleasant, but “duty” lines of congratulations on your husband’s birthday card, but that’s all. And in common days such words are regarded as a preliminary approach to asking for something. And then - these are not compliments, but rather “sweet words”: “Well, cat, well, bunny, well, my pretty one!”.

It is a pity, of course, that some women are not instilled with education. And it would be easier to live: I made a compliment to my husband before work - he would have a mood for the whole day. I said a kind word to a work colleague: he would help you with the project. In the evening she purred something sweet in her husband's ear - and you are guaranteed 2 orgasms.

Women, accepting compliments, are guided by an inner feeling and self-confidence. Men, on the other hand, need logic and a causal relationship: did they tell him the truth, and if so, why was it said.

Just imagine, you came to work in a good mood, and for the first time decided to make your colleagues nice compliments. Here are two situations for you - with a woman and a man:

Situation one. « Good morning, Anna Petrovna! You look great today!" "Thank you! Anna Petrovna will answer. - And you too!". A female colleague rated this compliment as a greeting, without really delving into the words. She smiled, immediately forgot and set to work. In principle, she will react the same way to a male compliment.

Situation two.“Good morning, Ivan Ivanovich! You look great today!" "Yes? Thanks and you too!" - Ivan Ivanovich will answer, and yet he will think for a while. “It’s strange, why is it wonderful? Yesterday we swelled up with the men!” - he will begin to think and feel his chin - whether he is clean-shaven. “And why such a compliment? Maybe she wants something from me? Help her with work or myself in bed?

Of course, if Ivan Ivanovich says this compliment every morning, then he will stop reacting to him like that, confusing his brain. But the first admiring compliment will still make him think.

Sometimes compliments really sound like a mockery. If you want to do something nice for a person, you will blurt out, and then you will be ashamed of yourself! After all, ornate beautiful phrase is far from reality.

Here are the wrong examples:

"You are so strong and beautiful!" And the guy is a bony stalker with youthful pimples and protruding ears. Already through falseness with hidden irony.

"You are very smart and quick-witted!" And the guy in the word “shower” makes four mistakes and is still the same idiot, and he flew out of vocational school for poor progress.

“You are very sensual and gentle!”. And the guy was brutal with a beard, in a leather jacket and in tattoos. He can regard such a compliment as an insult - he was called a gay!

Any man with analytical warehouse the mind will immediately feel the lie as a mockery. Even a fool. And if this is said in front of the people, then because of such a compliment, the guy can be laughed at.

Of course, it is necessary to support and praise a man, even if he has flaws. You just need to talk about it subtly and courteously.

Compliments are good only when they hit the mark. That is, when they are spoken on the topic. All these “You look great!” - nothing more than an excuse for show, often used for women. A man is pleased when words of praise correspond to his actions.

For example:

“You have a great outfit! Everything is in order with your taste, the shirt is exactly the color of your beautiful eyes!» - you say to the thin eared. You complimented him on his appearance - honestly and without offending him.

“Did you do this project yourself? Super! I certainly never doubted your mental abilities but it's brilliant! you say stupid. And let his project require some refinement, but the guy feels a surge of strength.

“You are so big and cool, but when you hug me, I just melt - it’s so cozy and pleasant next to you”- you say to the brutal in tattoos. In your words, there is not a hint of a man's wrong orientation, but he is proud that he can be pleasant to a girl with all his severity.

It is necessary to say compliments to men, but taking into account the fact that your words will be given a thorough analysis. You appreciated his sense of humor - praise him for a good joke, he will know in which direction to laugh. He gave you a hand, helping you out of the car - admire his gallantry, he will continue to try to please you.

Compliments to someone else's man

And yet, it would be worthwhile to control your words when they are addressed to an outsider, and not to my own husband. Sometimes just nice phrase abandoned by a woman can be regarded ambiguously.

Compliment to the boss

Usually scattering beautiful words the boss is regarded as sycophancy and sycophancy. It doesn't matter what gender the subordinate is. The team itself does not like such a colleague who follows the boss and sings his praises.

But from a woman, all the more so, such an abundance of laudatory words is alarming. What exactly does she want?

move up the career ladder;
crammed into the boss's mistress for self-interest;
she likes her boss like a man - that's what seduces.

The fourth is not given. If you have no thoughts about such intentions, then do not tempt the boss and do not unnerve the team. You can give your boss a couple of compliments for the holiday, but it’s best to briefly thank him for some of his encouragement in your direction.

Compliment to a married guy

Here, you really need to control every word. Especially if a man is next to his wife (or just with his beloved), and especially if your spouse is nearby.

showering not free man admiring phrases, you put several people in an awkward position at once:

This man's lover. Naturally, she becomes jealous.

Her husband. Praising the virtues of another man, you thereby humiliate your spouse.

The man himself. He is embarrassed both in front of your husband and in front of his lady.

Herself. People begin to suspect you of promiscuity.

The exception is the perpetrators of some celebration. Well, it’s customary to give him compliments to everyone who doesn’t hit. In other cases, control your eloquence.

But where you don’t have to hold back in laudatory phrases, it’s about your lover. It seems, well, what is special about this - without straining, to say a compliment to your beloved. But every kind word gives him confidence and mood.

Criticism and humiliation suppresses a man in him, a compliment and praise - on the contrary, inspires. Even by correspondence, if there is no way to say a kind word to him out loud. How this is done - see the article.

If you praise the merits and dignity of your husband in public, this is a huge plus for both you and him. You - as a wife who respects her husband, and at this time he rises in the eyes of society. You yourself understand what kind of reaction is exactly the opposite: when a wife scolds her husband in public. And she seems like a fool, and he is slobbery and henpecked. Ugh!

Let's conclude - an affectionate word and "cats" are also nice. But unlike "cats", this word goes through careful analysis. But if you carefully read the article, then your compliments will always hit the mark.

Finally, an unusual technique

Let's do a thought experiment.

Imagine that you have the superpower to "read" men. Like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man - and you immediately know everything about him and understand what is on his mind. You could have any man and have ideal relationship and would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to my problem.

Who said it's impossible? Of course, you won’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.

We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate psychological sciences, and her technique has helped many girls to have ideal relationships and feel loved.

If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for our website visitors.

For a man, there should be words that reflect significance in society, respect for merit. A girl should not allow playfulness in tone, so that a man does not regard this as signs of location. For a womanA woman wants to feel that she is not only respected as a valuable employee, but admired spectacular appearance, the ability to cook, they know that she is kind and beautiful.

How to Compliment Your Boss (and Get a Promotion)

And why should it be hard for me to give compliments, especially when they are sincere. Personally, I like to give a compliment if my colleague at work today looks 100%, and she is pleased and does not lose from me. If she doesn’t cross my path in any way, then why not? I have work colleagues who can afford expensive clothes, accessories, cosmetics. I admire them, but I have no envy of them. So I can sincerely compliment them. I am a woman and it doesn't cost me anything to give a sincere compliment to another woman.

He approached her with a glass, smiling a little cheekily (it was about the sixth glass), and said: “I would like to drink for you, Vera! You are not just good boss you are still a lovely woman. Then I got excited and boldly told the new bosses what I thought about their figure, eyes and hair. Bosses need to be complimented. Empty talk should be avoided: speak charmingly, to the point, a little flowery. Instead of muttering “You are beautiful, like Monica Bellucci” - immediately write a letter of resignation. A couple of compliments, a bouquet - and the girl is in his hands. And I can’t accuse him of prudence - if he had him, then still with a flair of romance. And so the dunce was fed up with his boss with his speeches that at the first sign of the economic crisis he was fired: go, Lancelot, rumble in the street. It seems that he tried - but all in vain. So if you are not sure of the persuasiveness of the speech, rehearse with close friend she will direct.

If you are unhappy with your figure, and someone praises your suit, it does not mean anything other than that you look good. If you completed the task in half an hour, although colleagues do the same amount of work in 15 minutes, then you still should not be complex.

Whatever position you take in the company, do not skimp on compliments to your colleagues. And that's why.

The art of a business compliment will help create such a positive atmosphere. A successful business compliment is the skill to speak sincerely about professional qualities other people, the results of the work done. It makes communication pleasant, allows you to motivate for new results and achievements.

Many people do not know how to accept praise with dignity and thereby discourage the desire to compliment them. Firstly, it exposes itself in a disadvantageous light, and secondly, it puts the interlocutor in a foolish position and, of course, in the future it is unlikely to hear more compliments from him.

The art of accepting compliments

This cannot be taken away! Blind are those who do not see this! Stupid, who do not want to notice! And age or appearance are not important, Hair color ... Add your congratulations. The authors of the most best congratulations receive cash rewards ($10 per congratulation).

All women love to receive compliments. Accepting compliments is a talent that can and should be learned. As a rule, it develops in childhood, when a child is praised for how well he sang, danced, made ... normal reaction for a compliment. Of course, with age, any science becomes more difficult, however, as you know, it is never too late to learn.

When establishing contact with any person, a compliment is considered a serious tactical weapon, and who says: “I don’t like listening to compliments”? You can not say compliments with comparisons: “You are the smartest” and others. Devote a compliment to qualities that are really present in a colleague. Important: shaking the hand of a subordinate is permissible if the boss utters flattering words. React to good words you need to calmly, without raising your voice, with a smile and gratitude.

For example, a promotion is also a compliment, and much more significant than ordinary praise.

How to learn how to influence people and promote the right, easy communication, in which you will develop right opinion. With the help of the proposed techniques, you can form positive qualities in people, positive habits, change their lifestyle, and help achieve results. 3) A very good way is to pay attention to the strengths of the interlocutor, which not everyone tells him about, and to his achievements. It is necessary to track when a person accomplishes a small “feat” and highlight it. Once having experienced pride in himself, he will want to continue to receive such positive emotions in the future. A man may be skeptical about a compliment about appearance, and if you make an attempt to stop the dispute by pointing out his intellectual features, reconciliation will happen faster. You, even in a state of anger, can clearly systematize your thoughts, I envy such abilities.

You are strict with others and tender together. You are the smartest and know everything! You are always caring and kind. Why praise your loved ones or work colleagues, you know. Do you often compliment your men: friend, husband, brother, father, grandfather, colleague?

It is also important to catch right moment for a compliment: usually these are cases when "a spoon for dinner is expensive." Speak compliments in the presence of other colleagues - this makes the situation and what is said a working moment and does not allow gossip. Compliments should be dosed: not too frequent and only on occasion - otherwise, they will be perceived as flattery, flirting, psychological impact. In no case should you object to your merits indicated in the compliment and try to prove that you are not at all so good.

I like your positive attitude"," I'm in awe of your listening skills. And in this not always easy task, we need the ability to give a compliment correctly and on time. Be based on facts known to you and your colleague, otherwise it will turn into banal flattery. A work comrade is not a friend, and it is unlikely that he will try to justify the praise given in advance. Ask for advice, be interested in the opinion of your man - this is nothing more than an indirect compliment. A drop of falsehood - and all your good undertakings will sink into oblivion. Simple life rule no one canceled - good begets good. The main thing is to start! 3. Interesting fact Special watches are sold in Japan. If you press a button, they not only tell you the exact time, but also give you a compliment. It is believed that it is necessary to “stroke” another if he did something good for you or just did something that you would like him to do in the future.

Therefore, in communicating with a client, when he is either higher in status or on a level with the seller, there is no place for praise. A clumsily delivered compliment can take on the color of rude flattery, or arrogant praise. Such compliments should be used with extreme caution, because at first the client is lost, takes the defensive, looking for words of indignation. It is unethical to practice compliments with a comparative effect: you are the best, you are the best of the best, and the like. At the training on the art of selling, the trainees were asked to write a few business compliments and give them to their colleagues, those employees who did not attend classes. After such a compliment, a person understands that his actions help another. The compliment was said as if by the way, but it definitely hit the target, raising the client's self-esteem.

Starting the topic of compliments, I thought only that "these are all wonderful moments of love." However, later, when the focus was narrowed down to the topic "Compliments at work", I realized that a compliment is a powerful and terrible weapon and you need to use it carefully and competently, because. it can raise a person from the ashes, but it can also plunge you into a whirlpool of trouble ....

Today we will talk about the art of a compliment in the field. Those. how to show your affection to a person so that the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe, and the shepherd is alive and well ...

We will talk about situations when you really admire the actions of a colleague, want to express it, but at the same time do not want to be misunderstood.

Giving compliments at work is like walking on a razor's edge. The result may be very far from what you expected.

If you want to express your admiration or approval, but do not aim to have an on-the-job affair, then you need to know in advance the pitfalls that lie in wait for you in this field.

It's not a secret for anyone that non-verbal perception prevails over verbal one, or, in other words, HOW you say it is more important than WHAT you say.

Imagine your boss says: "Colleague, you did an excellent job with this project. I was pleasantly surprised by the level at which you solved the tasks. I look forward to further work with you"

Simple, rather kind, but also moderately dry phrases. Now imagine that the boss says all this in a low voice, taking you to an intimate corner, standing close to you and twisting your hair around your finger ... A completely different perception, and the meaning, apparently, is completely different.

Compliments - on the razor's edge ...

As an illustration, consider a wonderful film by Eldar Ryazanov. Moreover, it is fortunate for us that there are two service lines: a female boss - a male subordinate and a male boss - a female subordinate.

Situation 1. A male subordinate wants career growth and, on the advice of a friend, begins to court the boss. A lonely female boss is deprived of male and purely human attention, and therefore behaves harshly and even rudely. To flourish, it is enough for her to feel the interest of the seemingly most unprepossessing employee...

His compliments are awkward, stupid and ridiculous - "I have no one dearer than you for several days now." But there is something in him ... and no one has cared for her for a long time ... but deep down she is still a woman ... It turned out not what was planned: she turned out to be a wonderful, gentle and sensitive person, he felt like a man, confident and strong able to support a "weak" woman. And it all started with banal compliments.

Situation 2. The boss wants only a career, and cupids at work do not fit into his plans. This is a normal attitude, but he makes the mistake of lavishing compliments on the women in the organization and his former passion including. In his opinion, he behaves adequately: amiable, correct, and with other women this model of behavior works perfectly ... But in the compliments addressed to Olechka, intimate tenderness is heard.

And the problem is that there is no intimacy, no tenderness, in general, for a long time, but the seeds fall on fertile soil - artificial (in memory of the past) tenderness revives true love who knows no conventions and cannot stop... "You have no flaws. You are made up of only virtues"- this is not a compliment, this is a confession ... Who is to blame? He was courteous on duty with compliments... just in the wrong tone.

What do you want in your workplace? Get new love Or strengthen the team? Flirt or make a career?

A compliment is a terrible force and in inept hands can lead to unpredictable consequences..

If you do not want your colleague to flirt with you, and then call you at home and breathe hot in your wife's ear, keep in mind: your compliments should not feel love and care. Only Respect.

Compliments are harder for men. It is enough for them to feel your respect in order to become interested in you, and sincere compliments simply do not happen without respect. How to be? There is a nuance here. If you do not want to be pressed in dark corners, you should pronounce your compliments with self-respect, as an equal to an equal (in the end, even though he, say, is your boss, but the same, in essence, a mere mortal). Only your respect for yourself will make others respect you.

Universal rules for a compliment in office conditions

For managers to subordinates:

It's better to say compliments in front of other people.
Compliments about professionalism, not about appearance
Compliments should not be ambiguous both in words and in tone.
The touch should be neutral: put a hand on the shoulder, pat on the shoulder, shake hands
Compliments should not be numerous, with or without reason - this will be perceived as flirting or as pressure

For subordinates to management:

Better in the presence of other people
Not excited!!! Except when something out of the ordinary happened, for example, the boss saved the Universe from aliens or, at worst, the company from collapse and brought it to the leaders. Otherwise, your words and superiors and colleagues will be perceived as undisguised flattery.
Talk only about existing virtues, those that a person himself knows and highly appreciates.
Compliments should not be ambiguous or promising
Touch should not be! If your admiration for the actions of the leadership knows no bounds, you can ask permission to shake hands - there is such a thing as subordination.
Compliments should not be ingratiating - this will be perceived as obsequious

What to praise or neutral compliment topics?

company
team
Hobby, if you know about it or a cursory examination of the office catches your eye
children
Job well done
Qualities of character
Skills
Demonstrated erudition (only if you own the subject yourself)

Compliments in a letter

Perhaps for guidance The best way support a good relationship a team. But there is also a condition

Letters should be sent to all team members
The text should not be universal, printed "carbon copy"
Each letter should contain an individual text, it will take a lot of time, but it will pay off many times over with the loyalty of the team
Praise in a letter should not be a cliché.
The letter should not take up three pages. Enough postcards

How to write such a letter

Think about what actions you are grateful for this particular person.
Write down five qualities for which you respect this person. Try very hard - every person has such qualities
Compose a letter. Use the diagram first