How to make a birthday a real holiday of the soul. How to celebrate a birthday so that it is remembered

Birthdays are special days. You wake up in the morning, aging another year during the night. And for the next two months, when asked about age (in the questionnaire, for example), you tense up, remembering the last updated version. Of course, you replace the word "age" with "grow up" or even "wiser." But this does not change the essence of the matter.

And on these special days, we have a socially approved right to special attention, help and gifts. A legitimate opportunity to get a slightly larger portion of the feeling that we are valuable, significant and loved.

Three years ago, when I began to actively plan my life and manage my time, I began to use birthdays as points for debriefing and adjusting goals. About which she wrote with humor. A year ago, I summed up the “acquired and understood” life guidelines and beliefs that make my life fuller, easier and happier.

And now I reflect on the fact that birthdays, like control ones at school, show how well we have learned the lessons of life. I’ll tell you how I came to make my birthday truly a holiday for my soul.

What do our birthdays showcase?

First of all, the degree of our knowledge of ourselves. How are we in tune with our needs and desires. At all levels: social, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual. A simple question - who do we want to invite and how to celebrate our birthday - starts a chain of doubts: "Don't even know. It is necessary to call Masha, after all, a friend, and if you call Masha, but not call Sveta, she will find out and be offended. And Igor and Natasha - they always invite us. But we only have 10 chairs... And Masha's husband will start talking about politics again, you can't stop him later. But you can’t tell him not to come ... If you call everyone, I’ll be idle all day in the kitchen, by the evening I won’t need anything at all, and if you call a narrow circle, the rest will be offended.

What about gifts? This is the second exam. It shows how much we value ourselves, whether we feel worthy to be spent money, time and attention on us.

How do you behave when you are asked what you would like to receive as a gift? Everyone who grew up with a feeling of "I don't deserve" is not able to clearly answer this question. They come to the aid of the so-called modesty : “I don’t need anything, the main thing is to see you all, this is already a gift for me!” or “Don’t try to spend money, you might think you have extra money.”

The third birthday exam shows our ability to organize a holiday that will please us. Do not wait for everything to work out by itself, “a magician will suddenly fly in a blue helicopter”, and then get upset that the gifts are useless, soulfulness did not work out, I was tired of the preparations and in general, it is not clear where I was on this seemingly my holiday of life.

Seven years ago, seeing off guests, I sat in the bedroom, crumpling holiday dress, with tears in her eyes, tired, upset and completely dissatisfied with the past "holiday". I reached a point where I not only got frustrated, but asked myself right question: If not, then how? What to improve in next year? Thus began my journey of self-recognition and conscious planning of my birthdays.

The path to success lies through repeated trial, error, and tweaking. And nothing else.

I started trying different variants. I celebrated my birthday in a large crowd of friends and acquaintances; V narrow circle the closest; only with girls; family only; did not celebrate at all (whoever comes - he will come).

With food, I tried: the traditional Russian way, when I cooked everything myself; option when we all go to a restaurant; option to order food at home; and the traditional Canadian way, rooted in Native American culture - potluck (happy pot), when all guests bring some dish with them.

I tried to let the evening flow freely, I tried to be the organizer of my holiday, we played different games- from mafia to KVN. The only thing I didn't try was to make a picnic, because in mid-January, with Canadian dank rain, it's not fun.

Years passed, experiments continued, the quality of my holidays steadily improved, along with this, I changed, my awareness and understanding and acceptance of myself. And so, this year, for the first time, I felt a state of joy and satisfaction from how my birthday went.

Lesson 1: I began to put myself at the center of the planning.

We are all very different. We want different things. We feel differently . And my task is to understand what brings joy, namely, to me. "correct" in this case means "mine". Stop planning from the point: "How can I make happy and please my family, friends and acquaintances", and "How can I spend my holiday in such a way that it is convenient for everyone." When each of my friends has their birthday, they will spend it the way they want. In general, start planning from the point “What do I want?”

I stopped calling all my friends in advance, asking if it would be convenient for them to come on the day I would like to have a party. This entailed repeated rescheduling, because you can’t please everyone and any day didn’t suit someone. I began to choose a day and time convenient for me and invite everyone. If someone couldn't, then they couldn't.

I stopped making compromises and adapting to others. And if I didn’t want an additional op and bedlam in the next room, then the question “Can I take a child, let them play with your daughter?” prevented in advance with a clear sentence in the invitation: “An adult bachelorette party is planned!”

And, yes, I may have broken someone's patterns. But if someone said: “My husband and I don’t go on holidays separately!”, I smiled and answered: “No problem! I respect your choice and your principles and will not be offended if you decide not to come!”

Lesson 2. I began to voice my dreams, desires, and needs to the world. Not as expectations and requirements, but simply as knowledge about yourself.

Surrounding people are not psychics and do not read thoughts. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to good gift man, if he does not know what he wants. When we do not know what pleases another, we try to apply our knowledge of what makes us happy and give what we would like to receive as a gift ourselves. And that usually doesn't work.

Therefore, in discussions and conversations, as well as in answering questions from the “what do I like” series, I began to share knowledge about myself. What are my favorite flowers and colors. Where do I dream to go and what elements of clothing give me the feeling of "I am a queen." That I love pretty notebooks for my diaries good tea and decorations from natural materials. That I work on my femininity and practice meditation. That I was engaged in shamanism, I introduce sports into my life and I am interested in healthy eating. And many other aspects of my life and soul.

Lesson 3. For my part, I stopped limiting people by saying what I should not give and how I should not help.

I stopped warning my friends that if they brought food to my holiday, it’s no longer necessary to give me gifts. I stopped dragging friends away from the table and sink who wanted to help me with the dishes. I stopped deciding what people can and want to do for me, and how much money they are willing and able to spend on a gift.

I began to accept help and gifts with sincere and worthy gratitude. Saying that I am very pleased.

Lesson 4. I took responsibility and an active role in the realization of my desires.

Being an adult means being responsible for meeting your needs and fulfilling your desires. The child has neither the knowledge nor the opportunity to feed, warm, soothe or cheer himself up. He is completely dependent on his mother, in whose power to give him everything that he needs. And for the first couple of years, the needs of the baby are few, simple and obvious: food, warmth, security, attention. As we grow older, the number of our needs and desires grows like a snowball, they become much more diverse, complex and specific. Already no mother is able to predict that now the child wants a sweater, like that boy; to be left alone with his feelings; or to be told now: “My sun, you will succeed, but we will help you too!” There is not and will not be a person in this world who could foresee and satisfy all our needs. Good news is that I, as an adult, actually have all the resources and opportunities to help myself with most of my needs. And some of them I can do myself, because I have money, I know where it is sold and I can do it. For example, buy yourself a bracelet, get dressed, cook Russian salad, buy a ticket to the sea. There are needs that I cannot satisfy myself. But! Using my adult brains to figure out what I necessary, and an adult the ability to speak, I can ask someone who can give it to me. And then it turns out that we are surrounded by so many good people who are happy to help us if you ask them to!

Lesson 5: I started making exclusive time for socializing and celebrating.

To live it holistically, without fuss and extraneous parallel affairs. When I'm celebrating, I don't talk on the phone, read Facebook, check work emails, or take care of family business. Because trying to combine work with friends usually kills both. Of course, this requires some planning ahead of your work, but it's worth it!

And all this together made my last birthday extraordinary, unforgettable and happy.

I sincerely wish everyone that birthdays bring you only joy and warmth of communication! And if any of my lessons help you, I will be very glad.

I love the morning, it is in the morning that the most unusual events in my life take place. So this day was no exception, I was enjoying the plot of my dream when the phone rang into it. At a time when most people are sleeping, an alarmed gentleman called and asked the usual question for the early morning: “How to make a birthday unforgettable, what can I give? You understand...". Then followed a bunch of arguments why I should understand him, to be honest, I didn’t try to remember them, but since it’s so badly needed ... I woke up.

I understand that there are moments in life that resemble running in circles, but while you are running, everything around you has already been seen - seen 100,500 times. That's why you need to stop your run, well, or start running in another circle. We agreed that since I did not plan to do an Unforgettable Birthday today, then I have 30 minutes of ideas of how and what, and no more idea. What won't you do for love...

1. The West will help us... Shakespeare's sonnets are a wonderful source of words about love, over which time has no power. A person who finds it difficult to think original confession himself, can refer to the creativity of this the greatest poet, and then the most usual congratulations happy birthday to a woman can acquire unexpected notes, you can say a vintage shade.

2. Suppose we wrote poetry, sent a part of the text, another part was written on papyrus with a pen, and while we were doing all this, we will come up with the idea of another gift. The prepared gift and our ode, well, or our declaration of love, are best placed in a box made from an old hat box, cake box or shoe box, lined with colored paper at your discretion and possibilities. If in celebration unforgettable day A lot of guests take part in the birth, it is good if each guest has his own box with a gift prepared in advance.

3. On this day, you can use the example of other countries in love, for example, in one of the countries they give their halves colorful parrots with bright red beaks associated with passionate kiss. And if you know well the attitude of a woman to living creatures, then you can give a bird or a couple for a birthday, romantically present a dove for a birthday - a symbol of fidelity and selfless love, as Venus believed.

4. This advice is useful to any organizers of the holiday. If there is a possibility that friends will unexpectedly come to you for a holiday - to congratulate you on your birthday, and you couldn’t do anything more complicated than scrambled eggs, then you can make a canape. You can use buns or gray bread as a basis, only in this case you need to cut off the crust from them. Bread needs to be spread butter and beautifully put slices of sausage and cheese on it. As a seasoning, you can use radishes, boiled egg mugs, carrots and fruits. A sharp stick pierces the appetizer from top to bottom. To describe in more detail, as I understand it, there is no need.

5. Don't be shy about showing love, it's wonderful feeling, you need to impress a woman with your attention and care. Decorate your room early in the morning balloons in the shape of a heart. Give him a video cassette with how you prepare for the most best day Birthday, what do you think about the birthday girl, your monologue about how wonderful, smart, kind and beautiful she is. The night before, “stuff” her pockets, wallet, cosmetic bag, handbag with tiny cute souvenirs. For these purposes, small Plush Toys, Greeting Cards, chocolate sweets with declarations of love and congratulations.

Well, half an hour has passed, so in conclusion I would like to remind you that usually for a holiday, whether New Year or birthday, it is customary to give gifts. But still more often it is not the gift that is important, but the attention. On this day, even words about your feelings sound different, and congratulations and declarations of love become more expensive than any gift.

The most important thing that a child should receive on his birthday is positive emotions, a sense of happiness, the importance of his presence in the life of relatives and friends. To hear the cherished: “It was the best birthday!” - pay attention to the following components of the organization of the holiday

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1. The format of the celebration. The child must be comfortable

You, like no one else, know what your birthday person will like: gatherings in a narrow family circle, an explosive party, an educational excursion or a hike in spartan conditions.

Children's preferences vary according to age and temperament. The main thing that parents should take care of is to create safe environment in which children will feel organically.

An extrovert fidget will want to spend time in a big noisy company. In this case, you can give the conduct of the game program into the hands of animators, organize a trip to the water park, game center, karting or paintball club. Any command sport games will become great way pastime for an active birthday boy. And for teenagers, you can arrange a disco. By the way, with regard to teenagers, it is better to take an observant position: to carefully adjust the course of the holiday, without going over to total control - this is important for a maturing person.
For born explorers, offer an adventure quest, a science show, a trip to the museum of entertaining sciences. If desired, the plot of the quest can be thought out on your own, as well as simple scientific experiments Houses.
Unsociable children will be more comfortable in the circle of relatives and close friends. This does not mean that the quiet one is doomed to spend his main holiday within the walls of the house, the main thing is that he is surrounded by people whom he trusts.

Answering the question: how to celebrate a children's birthday - be guided, first of all, not by the trends of event agencies, but by the needs and character traits of your beloved birthday.

2. Gifts. The value is in caring

Of course, you can openly talk about the desired gift with the birthday person in advance, in which case you are guaranteed to avoid disappointment from unjustified expectations. But surprise gifts bring incomparable emotions.

Truly magic power possess postal parcels. Having found a notification about the message in the mailbox, the child is involved in a mini-quest: he wonders who and what sent him, sets off on a journey for the “treasure” and, finally, solves the mystery by opening the package.

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Personalized medals and diplomas, a photo collage or a video clip reflecting the happy moments of the life of the birthday boy - all this will once again testify to your reverent care and touches the hero of the occasion of any age.
Gifts can be given in the form birthday award ceremony and in different, invented in advance nominations. Or adapt a game of forfeits for the presentation ceremony.

3. Festive decor - for a good mood

Ignore the moment of decorating the room where children's day birth is strongly discouraged. Even a minimum of colorful paraphernalia will bring smiles to children and cheer them up. What will decorate the holiday:

balloons, garlands, congratulatory banner "Happy Birthday!";
table setting in certain style, draping chairs;
light and music decoration of the festive hall.

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4. Treat: Brightness is more important than calories

Children's rules holiday table read:

a beautifully decorated dish is more likely to be eaten,
postulates healthy eating are temporarily cancelled.

Ask what kids want to eat, and the answer is likely to be pizza, french fries, nuggets, and sweets. If you are an ardent opponent of fast food, make sure that healthy food looked appetizing.

Sweets and fruits can be placed separately - in the "candy bar" format or served on the main table after lunch. The main thing is to arrange everything in a stylish and bright way. You can prepare cookies or sweets with a surprise, of course, warning the guests about it.

climax children's day birthday - cake-carrying ceremony. It should impress with its dimensions and decor and fascinate with the lights of candles, convincing the participants in the action that all desires will certainly be fulfilled.

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5. The mood of the guests is an indicator of the atmosphere of the holiday

To show attention to each guest is a worthy goal of a grateful birthday man.

Pre-handed invitations or prepared badges with the names of the participants in the festival are a sign of personal respect for the guest. For those who have not yet learned to read, you can prepare invitations and medals with the image of cute fairy tale characters.
You can not compare children, highlighting the talents and successes of one person. In the nursery game program it is better to avoid competitions in which the winner is determined - the rest are likely to be offended. And if someone refuses to participate in mass undertakings, it is worth offering him another occupation.
Memories of the time spent visiting the birthday boy will be sweeter and lasting if all the children receive small memorable gifts.

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6. The highlight of the program

You can talk for a long time about the dangers and expediency of using pyrotechnic products, but the fact that fireworks fascinates and is remembered as the brightest event of the holiday is undeniable.

Of course, here you need to take into account the age of children - kids can be scared by loud sounds and sudden flashes of lights. For them, it is possible to offer the launch into the sky of ordinary balloons or Chinese lanterns, shots of air crackers with serpentine.

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These spectacular moments will leave an unforgettable impression and become a ringing chord of the final part of the holiday.

7. Photo report erases the boundaries of time and space

Try to capture as many moments of the celebration as possible: recreate the chronology of the growing up of children, if available. a large number photos are easier and more interesting.

Viewing photos illustrating joyful events allows you to relive the feeling of happiness. Isn't this one of the strategic tasks of mankind - to fill life with happy moments?!

Alesya Rogalevich

What does your child need for the perfect holiday? And you?