The girl is upset. Any guy who has the privilege of dating a beautiful creature knows firsthand what kind of task it is with the nth number of unknown reasons for frustration.

And they will be right. Sometimes a lady throws out such tricks that the honorary employees of Harvard throw up their hands in amazement. However, the young lady is different. Many women do get upset often and for no apparent reason.

And the fact is that girls give a lot greater value little things than men. Therefore, the likelihood of a cause of bad mood, sadness and tears is much higher for them.

As Gabrielle Chanel said, a man who is capable of action is doomed to be loved. Climbing up to the sky for a star, perhaps, would be an overkill. However, the ability to calm and cheer up a woman is priceless.

Just think, now she is a young creature, in twenty years - mature woman, wife, at work you probably have a lot of female colleagues. And also mom, sister ... Knowing the approach to woman's heart, you win the jackpot! In addition, what man does not dream of being a hero in the grateful eyes of a young lady.

Try to determine the cause

Yes, try. No one guarantees that you will find it. After all, often the girl herself does not fully understand why she is offended.

• Let her know you want to know why. “Honey, I see your eyes are sad. What's happened? Did someone hurt you?"
• “Darling, I feel that something is wrong with your mood. Maybe it's me?"

Be prepared for the fact that the young lady does not admit about real reason sadness. A Bad mood write off on health or the weather.

• In this case, say that you are willing to wait, and then offer to help: “It's okay, I understand. All people get sad sometimes. If you want to talk, I'm always ready to listen to you. You have a magical smile, I would really like to return it.

When asking for help, be sincere.

Offer your strong shoulder only if they are really willing to provide it. At such moments empty promises can be detrimental to relationships.

Give a chance to speak

We understand that listening to women's tears is not for the faint of heart. And, if instead of Tanya, Mani, Angelica, she will carry out an intense exchange of emotions with you, you may think that you will not be able to stand it, you will be exhausted and die young.

But here you need secular patience. In general, if a girl is ready to talk about a sore point, it means that she trusts you and agrees to make contact. Therefore, give her attention and the luxury of being heard.

Don't argue if you disagree with something. Your job is to listen, not give advice. Believe me, by showing unlimited patience and sympathy, you will automatically gain her favor.

Hug a woman

Hugs should be used in any case. However, their nature directly depends on the type of your relationship. Yes, if you are in a relationship, hugs should be as warm as possible. If a girl with sad eyes is your friend or classmate, friendly hug over the shoulders will be enough.

Hugging, tell her that you are worried:

• “I'm sorry that this test upset you. But, believe me, one mark does not decide fate. You are the smartest person in our group, learn everything and shine in the exam. And I will keep my fingers crossed."
• “Sunny, don’t be upset because Alena came in the same dress. The product is really beautiful. But it looks much more attractive on you. And don’t be offended by your girlfriend: it means that you both have excellent taste. You are my best."

Try to make me laugh

Laughter prolongs life. And yet - uplifting and helps. Therefore, if you know how to joke subtly, go ahead and show your talent!

Having clarified a little the reason for the bad mood, try to avoid ambiguous jokes, as well as those that can aggravate the situation.

1. Don't be afraid to look funny. Sing a song. And it's even better if a bear stepped on your ear: many DJs think that the meaning of music is in decibels, and that's okay, everyone loves them.

Sing as well as you can, and if you don’t know how, it dramatically increases the likelihood of the result of your efforts.

1. Tell funny story. This is also a good version of the monologue with sad girl. If this story is from your life, embellish it with vivid metaphors. If you are a master of comic situations, show the possibilities of your imagination and please her with unrealistically cool humorous story. Try to talk to her in a humorous tone about the offender (if any).

woman scoops vital energy in nature, a man receives energy from a woman. You can return what you received and, accordingly, establish energy exchange with the help of gifts. There is a pattern: everything presented to a woman will return to her lover tenfold. And here greedy men close on themselves energy flow, in their affairs there comes a stagnation. And vice versa - generous men they achieve a lot: their women easily part with their energy for the sake of their beloved, and it increases his strength and power.

How to support a man?

Men don't like being given advice or sympathy without asking. They want to be trusted. Men need to constantly assert themselves. They get a lot of pleasure, achieving something on their own. A man feels supported when a Woman tells him something like: “I believe in you, that you can handle it yourself. I trust you with this until you yourself openly ask for help.

Many women think that the only way to achieve what you want in relation to a Man is to criticize when he is wrong, and give advice when he does not ask for them. A woman often does not suspect that she can induce a Man to do something, simply asking him about it directly, without criticism and advice. If a Woman does not like the way a Man behaves, she should directly tell him about it, without judging him and not saying that he is wrong or that he is bad.

There are three magic words who can support the Man: "You are not to blame." When a Woman shares her sorrows with a Man, she will be very supportive if she says: “I really appreciate that you listen to me. If you think that I am blaming you, then this is not so - I am just sharing with you what I feel.

The fact is that a Man often perceives as an accusation that a Woman ingenuously tells him about her grief - this instantly blocks communication and negatively affects relationships. It is important to remember that good communication requires the participation of both parties. A man should not forget that complaints are not accusations, and when a Woman complains, she is simply trying to relieve tension by talking about what upsets her. And it is important for a Woman to make it clear to a Man that she appreciates him, despite all her complaints.

Men are very upset when they are not required to solve a problem, because they need to feel good in every sense. Letting the Man know that he helps her a lot, just by listening to her, the Woman opens his eyes to her nature and at the same time gives him a reason for self-affirmation, which is so precious for the Man.

To support a man A woman should not suppress her feelings or change them. However, it is important for her to learn how to express them in such a way that the Man does not feel that he is being attacked, accused or condemned. A small change in the inner emphasis in expressing feelings can give amazing results!

John Gray

WHAT A MAN WANTS FROM A WOMAN

✔I want you to listen to me, but not judge me.
✔ I want you to speak up without giving me advice unless I ask.
✔ I want you to trust me without demanding anything.
✔ I want you to be my support without trying to decide for me.
✔ I want you to take care of me, but not like a mother to her son.
✔ I want you to look at me without trying to get something from me.
✔ I want you to hug me, but not choke me.
✔ I want you to inspire me, but not lie.
✔ I want you to support me in a conversation, but do not answer for me.
✔ I want you to be closer, but leave me personal space.
✔ I want you to be aware of my unattractive traits, accept them and not try to change them.
✔ I want you to know... that you can count on me... No limits.

Jorge Bukay

PHRASES that can provide striking effect for men:

1. My Beloved (this is IMPORTANT: do not use the word - Dear, this word no longer contains the necessary information. On the contrary, this word in relation to a man has a glamorous and mannered connotation);
2. Strong (I think comments are unnecessary here)
3. The most courageous (most importantly, say with total absence irony)
4. You are the best (awesome phrase, it works for almost all types of men of all ages)
5. Sexy (Oh yeah!)
6. Smart (amazing effect - word bomb!)
7. Generous (Real men think that they are, however, not real Jews - too)
8. Clever, well done (do not be shy: use these words generously and often, and you will be happy!)
9. Unsurpassed (in a particular case)
10. Awesome
11. I feel so good with you (you can after intimacy, you can just like that, a great phrase that never happens!);
12. You turn me on (and also “insert” - and to be honest, this is a treasure for close relationships, a hook phrase);
13. I miss you so much (a good phrase if you are apart);
14. I admire you (no comment!)
15. I love you so much (often, often, constantly say this phrase to HIM, believe me - it works!)
16. You can make me laugh
17. Only you understand me (Often, with a heartfelt intonation, the result will be excellent!)
18. You know me inside and out (A wonderful phrase that generates trust, the main thing is not to do the opposite, otherwise it will not work)
19. You are the only one for me (Let's please their male Ego!)
20. I love your touch (Let them learn, dear and beloved, it will be useful for them where a woman is pleased and where not)
21. I'm behind you like behind a stone wall (Once a week is an excellent frequency of use)
22. I breathe you (you can change the ending to “live”)
23. I can’t imagine what I would do without you (How they (men) dream about it, therefore more often, with the right intonation and tenderness in their eyes.)
24. I am so calm next to you (same effect as in the phrase with "stone wall")
25. You are so gallant (refined compliment)
26. I'm so happy with you (A smart phrase that 90% of representatives fall for male population)
27. I don't want you to stop loving me sometime (small suggestion)
28. I can't stop admiring you (Psychologists say that men look in the mirror more often than beautiful ladies, which means it works!)
29. I will love you forever (No need for pathos, it's better to say - "always")
30. I miss your hugs (Great phrase that works 100% when you are apart)
31. I beg your pardon
32. You are so insatiable (Men dream of being like that, so let's tell them THIS!)
33. I'm so lonely without you ( good energy often tell him this on the phone, in letters, sms)
34. I can't wait to see you
35. I miss you so much (on the phone, in a letter - amazing effect)
36. I don't need anything but your love. (Yes, yes, cool wording, here you are hinting that he is needed as he is, without a car, apartment, etc. They appreciate it.)
37. I trust you in everything ( good phrase, works)
38. I will follow you to the ends of the world (You can also use "earth", "planet")
39. You are my prince on a white horse (or on a Mercedes. Use only in relation to a loved one)
40. Just be with me (yes, they, these boys, still believe in “just”)
41. I am so grateful to you for everything you have done for me (works well, proven phrase, works 100 percent)
42. I want to be with you forever (Oddly enough, despite some pathos, this is a phrase that many men fall for. Try it.)
43. I want to wake up next to you every morning (Gorgeous magnet, act girls!)
44. The thought of separation from you kills me (sometimes this is possible, if infrequently and on business!)
45. I have never loved anyone so much! (Do not say this very often, otherwise the man begins to think, but were there many of them, these same “no one”, and why did she set it up, what if ...? Well, in general, you understand!)
46. ​​You know how to be so gentle (great phrase, let them believe in it and become more tender, bumpkins!)
47. Your kisses drive me crazy (let him try more often)
48. I go crazy when you look at me like that (Let him look more often and more closely, this is only good for us)
49. When you leave me so bad (sometimes, but not very often, it can be used)
50. I couldn't even dream that I could meet you (yes, hook phrase)
51. My life became bright when I met you (Effective, worth using)
52. I don’t have enough words to express how much I love you (Phrase-lighter in a relationship, say once a week or a little less often)
53. You are the man of my dreams (Oh yes! The logical conclusion of this worthy list of phrases, the frequency is about once every 5-7 days, not more often).

Sometimes supporting a person in difficult times means saving his life. IN difficult situation can be both close and unfamiliar people. Absolutely anyone can provide help and support - moral, physical or material. To do this, you need to know which phrases and actions are the most significant. timely help and sincere words help a person return to their previous way of life and survive what happened.

• Show all

  Helping people in difficult situations

  There are many situations in a person's life that require psychological, moral and even physical assistance. In this case, the presence of people is necessary - relatives, friends, acquaintances or just strangers. Degree intimacy and the duration of the acquaintance does not matter.

  To support a person, it is not necessary to have a special education, a sincere desire to help and a sense of tact are enough. After all, correctly chosen and sincere words can change a person’s attitude to the current situation.

  How to learn to trust a man

  Shared experience

  

  How to cheer up a guy

  Understanding

  A person who finds himself in trouble should know that he is understood. It is very important during this period to have a like-minded person nearby. If the situation is related to the loss of a beloved man or job, memories of personal example will be the most effective remedy. It is recommended to tell how hard it was during this period and how successfully it all ended in the end. But do not focus on your heroism and quick decision problems. You just need to say that everyone has such problems, and a friend will definitely cope with them too.

  

  How to deal with anxiety

  All will pass

  You need to convince the person that you need to wait a bit, and it will become much easier. The realization that everything will be fine will create an atmosphere of security and peace.

  Guilt

  In a difficult moment, it is natural for a person to blame himself for all the troubles. He tries to shift responsibility for actions to which he has nothing to do. In this case, the task of close people is to dissuade a person from this. Try to refute all possible positive outcomes of the situation. If there is still a person’s fault in what happened, you need to try to make amends for it. It is recommended to find words that will help convince a person to ask for forgiveness, which is necessary for his own good.

  Solution

  A direct question will be very effective, how can a person be helped in this situation. You can offer your own solutions without waiting for his appeal. Sincere interest and taking action will make you feel supported.

  In no case should you use the phrases: "forget", "do not worry", "do not cry", "it's even better." Attempts to “bring to life” with the help of screaming, accusations and sudden movements will not lead to anything. Such “help” can lead to a complication of the situation.

  How to support the man you love

  Representatives of the stronger sex try to restrain their emotions, so they most often close in on themselves. From this experience, they become even stronger, and a mental wound brings not only psychological experiences, but also physical pain. The girl at this moment should be as attentive and caring as possible, but in no case intrusive.

  If a husband has problems at work, which are accompanied by material losses, it is necessary to say the most important words for a man: “Money cannot affect our relationship in any way. I will always be there." This should be said as calmly as possible, with a smile and tenderness. Excessive emotionality or nervousness will confirm the man's fears that the relationship is purely mercantile.

  If the problems are related to relationships in the work team or relatives, an assurance that the girl is on the side of the guy would be appropriate here. He does not need to reproach himself and feel guilty. The beloved woman fully and completely shares his point of view and will do everything necessary for the successful resolution of the situation. It does not hurt to tell a man that he is strong and will definitely cope with problems. Self-esteem will not allow him not to justify the hopes placed on him. SMS with words of love or poems during the working day will cheer him up. An example of such a message:

  
  

  Words of support for the woman you love

  To help the woman you love, you should start with affection and tenderness, the essence of the problem does not matter. First of all, you need to hug her, kiss and calm her down. The most necessary at this moment will be the words: “Calm down, I am near and I love you. Trust me". Then you can continue to hug, drink tea and wait for complete calm. Only after that it is recommended to calmly sort out the situation, be sure to take the side of the beloved woman.

  Assistance, both moral and physical, should be provided. You may have to talk with the offenders, sort things out, take some action. In a word - to shift part of the work on yourself. Feeling strong male shoulder and real help, any girl will calm down, no matter how difficult the situation. small gift, a trip to a restaurant or a theater will quickly return her to her former life. Phone calls during the day, SMS in the form of words of love and support in prose or poetry will be very appropriate. An example of such a message:

  
  

  How to comfort a sick person

  Support for a sick person can be provided in the form of words and actions. But this is not always possible, since people can be at a distance from each other.

  Good words

  The most valuable way to help a suffering person will be words of support. To calm the patient, you can:

  • Speak words of love. They must be repeated sincerely, with genuine participation. By voicing the phrase: “I love you very much and will always be there,” you can reassure a person, create an atmosphere of security.
  • To compliment. Sick people are very vulnerable, so they listen to every word and gesture of others. Notes on the most minor changes in appearance in better side will sound like compliments. Even if these changes are not present, it is recommended to say about their presence. A sick person is not able to perceive reality objectively. With oncology, this will give the suffering person hope for a miracle; with a serious non-fatal illness, it will speed up recovery.
  • Praise. Praise a sick person should be for every little thing, even for a spoonful or a sip of water eaten. positive attitude will contribute speedy recovery or alleviate the patient's condition.
  • Keep at a distance. It will be appropriate phone call or Skype conversation. It is very important for the patient to hear a native voice, to see a familiar face. Next steps there will be constant SMS, written poems, sent pictures and all those things that the patient likes. But the most significant will be the phrase: "I'm on my way."
  • Discuss abstract topics. It is worth moving away from boring topics and giving preference to light and fun ones. We must try to remember interesting story, anecdote, tell funny news. You can try to discuss neutral topics: a read book, a movie, a recipe for a dish - everything that will interest the patient at least a little.

  Forbidden words

  Some phrases can harm a sick person. Do not talk about the following topics:

  • Disease. You should not discuss the symptoms, look for their confirmation, give similar examples from the lives of people you know. The only exception can be happy occasions successful healing.
  • Friends reaction. It is not at all necessary for a sick person to know what kind of reaction his illness caused in others. If this touched someone, let him visit him personally (do not notify about this in advance, as the visit may break and the patient will be disappointed). A reasonable solution would be to simply say hello and tell the news about an acquaintance.
  • Personal impression. It is categorically not worth telling what reaction the disease caused in the helping person or nearby relatives. Trying to demonstrate your compassion, you can upset the patient even more, because he became the culprit of the experience and continues to torment his loved ones with his position.
  • Distance. If the terrible news about the illness of a loved one caught up far from him, best solution will be on the road immediately. This must be informed. The solution of issues, negotiations with superiors regarding the departure and other problems should remain secret. The patient should not be aware of matters that may be more important than him. If it is not possible to come, then you can refer to the lack of tickets, non-flying weather and other factors. Here, a lie will be to the rescue, since waiting can prolong the patient's life.
  • A pity. If the disease is fatal, the pity of loved ones will constantly remind of this, causing a bad mood and deterioration in well-being. If the disease is not so serious, then there is a risk of its complications, because the patient will think that something is not being told to him. Sometimes the patient may have a reluctance to recover, as constant pity is addictive and even simulation.

  Useful actions

  Correct actions in relation to the patient contribute to recovery or can alleviate the course of the disease:

  • Care. Some patients need permanent care because they can't do anything on their own. But even if a person does not need enhanced care, attention and care will only benefit him. It would be appropriate to simply offer to lie down and make tea. A good help would be cleaning the apartment or cooking dinner. The main thing is to correctly assess the situation and help only if necessary. Do not forcibly remove the patient from his usual duties, persistently sending him to rest. Sometimes it’s enough just to be there and let them take care of themselves. This will allow a sick person to temporarily forget about his illness and feel needed.
  • Abstraction. It is useful to distract the patient from medical procedures and talking about pills. If a person has the ability to move around, it is necessary to persuade him to take a walk on fresh air. You can visit some events, exhibitions, museums, creative evenings etc. A changed appearance should not be a hindrance, main task will convince the patient that now positive emotions much more important than the perception of others.

  Condolences after the death of a loved one

  The irreparable loss of loved ones causes severe suffering, with which a person without outside help not cope. In order to provide the necessary support in a timely manner, it is recommended that you familiarize yourself with the main phases emotional state in this situation:

  • Shock. It can last from several minutes to several weeks. The impossibility of perceiving reality is accompanied by a lack of control over emotions. Attacks can be accompanied by a violent manifestation of grief or complete inactivity with stone calmness and detachment. The person does not eat anything, does not sleep, does not talk and hardly moves. At this moment he needs psychological help. A reasonable decision would be to leave him alone, not to impose his care, not to try to force feed, water, start a conversation with him. You just need to be there, hug, take by the hand. It is important to carefully monitor the reaction. Do not start conversations on the topic: “if we had known earlier, we had time, etc.”. It is already impossible to return anything, so you should not provoke feelings of guilt. No need to talk about the deceased in the present tense, remember his torment. It is not recommended to make plans for the future: "everything is ahead, you will still have time, you will still find it, life goes on ...". It will be much better to help in organizing the funeral, cleaning, cooking.
  • Experience. This period ends after two months. At this time, a person is a little slow, poorly oriented, almost unable to concentrate, every extra word or gesture can burst into tears. The feeling of a lump in the throat and sad memories do not let you sleep, there is no appetite. Memories of the departed cause a feeling of guilt, idealization of the image of the deceased, or aggression towards him. During this period, you can support a person kind words about the deceased. Such behavior will confirm a positive attitude towards the departed person and will become the basis for a common experience about his death. Do not give examples of other people who have experienced even greater grief. This will be perceived as tactless and disrespectful. Walks, simple activities, a simple release of emotions in the form of joint tears will be very effective. If a person wants to be alone, do not disturb him. In this case, you need to constantly be in touch, call or write messages.
  • Awareness. This phase tends to end a year after the loss. A person may still suffer, but he is already aware of the irreversibility of the situation. It gradually enters the usual mode, it becomes possible to concentrate on working moments or everyday problems. Bouts of unbearable heartache visiting less and less. During this period, he almost returned to ordinary life but the pain of loss is still there. Therefore, it is necessary to unobtrusively introduce him to new activities and recreation. This should be done as tactfully as possible. You should control your words and treat with understanding possible deviations from his usual behavior.
  • Recovery. A person fully recovers one and a half years after the loss. acute pain replaced by quiet sadness. Memories are not always accompanied by tears, it becomes possible to control emotions. A person tries to take care of loved ones, now living people, but he still needs the help of a true friend.

  If the described phases are delayed in time or do not come to change, it is necessary to urgently seek help from specialists. This state is dangerous and fraught with the occurrence serious illnesses.

  How not to get hurt

  Sincere help has its own nuances. Help is needed, but within reasonable limits:

  • You need to help only if there is a sincere desire.
  • In the case of severe grief, you need to objectively assess your strengths. If they are not enough, you should involve friends or specialists.
  • Reserve the right to personal space, do not become a hostage to the situation.
  • Do not allow yourself to be manipulated at the slightest refusal to fulfill the request.
  • Do not sacrifice your interests, work, family happiness to comfort a friend.
  • When moral or material aid is too long, it is necessary to tactfully talk with the person, explain that everything possible has already been done to overcome the difficult situation.

  Timely assistance, a feeling of sincere compassion will help to return a person to his former life.

Hearing

The main thing is to be sure to let the person talk. Do not be afraid of the flow of revelations and panic: no one requires you to be active and immediately solve all problems. It is also better to leave questions, advice and universal wisdom for later: at this stage, a person just needs to know that he is not alone, that he is heard, that they sincerely sympathize with him.

To listen does not mean to freeze like an idol and be silent until the very end of the monologue. This behavior is more like indifference. It is possible and even necessary to show “signs of life” in order to console a loved one: say “Yes”, “I understand you”, sometimes repeat words or phrases that seemed key - all this will show that you really care. And at the same time it will help to gather your thoughts: both to the interlocutor, and, by the way, to yourself.

This is a gesture

There is a simple set of gestures to help sympathizers. An open posture (without arms crossed on the chest), a slightly bowed head (preferably at the same level as the head of the person you are listening to), understanding nods, an approving grunt in time with the conversation and open palms are subconsciously perceived as a sign of attention and participation. When we are talking about a loved one with whom you are used to maintaining bodily contact, soothing touches and stroking will not interfere. If the speaker becomes hysterical, and this also often happens, then one option to calm him down is to give him a big hug. By doing this, you will, as it were, inform him: I am near, I accept you, you are safe.

It is better not to experiment with unfamiliar people in relation to bodily contact: firstly, you yourself may feel embarrassed; secondly, a person with a rigid personal space can be repulsed by such behavior. It is also worth being very careful if you have a victim of physical violence in front of you.

no change

You can not go in cycles in stress, many of us believe. "Pull yourself together!", "Find a reason for joy" - that's standard set phrases that the culture of global positivity and lightness of being drives into our heads. Alas, all these attitudes in 90 cases out of 100 have the opposite effect and do not help to comfort a person with words at all. Sacredly believing that it is necessary to look for pluses in everything, we learn not to work on the problem, but to fill it with a mass of conditionally positive experiences. As a result, the problem does not disappear anywhere, and it becomes more and more difficult to return to it and try to solve it every day.

If a person constantly returns to the same topic, it means that stress is still making itself felt. Let him talk for as long as it takes (assuming you endure the process yourself). See how it got easier? Great. You can slowly change the subject.

If specifically

What words to comfort a person? Often, the person in trouble feels like a social outcast - it seems to him that his misfortunes are unique and no one cares about his experiences. The phrase "Is there anything I can do to help?" seems banal and insipid, but nevertheless it shows your willingness to share the problem and be in the same boat with the victim. And it’s even better to offer something specific: “Do you want me to come to you right now and we will discuss everything?”, “Dictate a list of what you need - I’ll bring it within a day”, “Now I’ll call all the lawyers I know (doctors, psychologists), maybe what will they advise” or simply “Come at any time”. And even if the answer is an irritated grumbling in the style of “No need, I’ll figure it out myself,” the very desire to help will have a positive effect.

Help should be offered only if you are really ready for exploits, wasting time, money and emotions. Do not overestimate your strength, promising what you cannot deliver, in the end it will only get worse.

supervised

Assurances like “Don’t touch me, leave me alone, I want to be alone” often speak not so much of the desire to cope with the situation alone, but of excessive obsession with the problem and, unfortunately, a state close to panic. Therefore, it is not recommended to leave it alone for a long time. Unless for an extremely limited period of time, while being close and keeping abreast.

Quite often the mood to withdraw into oneself provokes the excessive curiosity of others, sometimes even those who are not close at all, their excessive pity, patronizing attitude. Nobody likes it. Therefore, when you see someone in such a state in front of you, you should moderate the level of your feelings and sympathy (at least externally) and make it clear that you are not going to teach him life or crush him with authority, but at the same time you sincerely want to help.

He she

We are used to believing that a woman is an emotionally unstable creature and is always prone to hysterical reactions, while a man is strong and resistant by default, therefore he is able to cope with stress alone. However, this is not entirely true.

Recent studies by scientists show that a socially isolated man tolerates stress much worse than a woman left alone: ​​he is more prone to withdrawing into himself and depression (and girls even increase immunity in force majeure situations!). And the problem that we, emotional, will survive and still forget, can torment the male brain for a long time. Psychologists believe that such a protracted reaction is a consequence of the fact that boys from childhood are taught to be silent and monitor their reputation more than a state of psychological comfort.

A man needs comfort, but actions will bring it rather than words. How to console a loved one? Your arrival, a delicious dinner, an unobtrusive attempt to stir up will work much better than verbal confessions. In addition, the active behavior of someone nearby brings men to themselves. And also let him know that it won’t hurt him to speak out and you don’t see anything wrong with that.

Saving those who help

Sometimes we get so carried away with saving drowning people that it becomes an obsession. Which, by the way, the victim himself indulges: having got used to your readiness to listen, he, without realizing it, turns into your personal energy vampire and begins to dump everything negative emotions on your fragile shoulders. If this goes on too long, you will soon need help yourself.

By the way, for some people the opportunity to help someone turns into a way to get away from their own problems. It is absolutely not worth allowing this - sooner or later there is a risk of coming to a full-fledged nervous breakdown.

If, after long and, as it seems to you, therapeutic conversations, you feel squeezed out like a lemon, fatigue, sleep disturbances, irritability appear, you should slow down a bit. In this state, you are unlikely to help anyone, but you can easily harm yourself.

Depression

We like to use the diagnosis of "depression" with or without cause. And although only a specialist can diagnose this disease, there are still common signs, with the manifestation of which you need to urgently seek qualified help. This:

Apathy, sadness, the prevalence of bad mood;

Loss of strength, motor retardation or, conversely, nervous fussiness;

Slowing down speech, long pauses, freezing in place;

Decreased concentration;

Loss of interest in habitually joyful things and events;

Loss of appetite;

Insomnia;

Decreased sex drive.

At least a couple of symptoms from the above - and you really should find a good psychotherapist for the victim.

Text: Daria Zelentsova