Cheating wife to husband with best friend: causes, consequences, what to do? If you cheated on your husband with his friend

In most cases, when a wife has cheated on her husband, she is constantly tormented by remorse until she confesses. After all, the behavior of a woman after infidelity changes dramatically, which is associated with her emotionality. But if a woman, after cheating on her husband for the first time, passionately wants to forget about everything and save the family, psychologists advise not to tell her husband about what happened. If a wife admits that she cheated on her husband, his pride will be extremely hurt, and no matter how much he wants to forgive, he will still endlessly reproach his beloved, without even realizing it. In the end, both spouses will get tired of such a relationship, and the marriage will be completely ruined. That is why betrayal must either be carefully hidden, or forgive yourself for this act and forget.

Free marriage

But there are times when the husband allows you to change. IN this case family is based on free relationship when spouses love each other and are happy together, but they also do not forbid getting new emotions on the side. If both spouses really agree with this position, then such a marriage will be quite strong. But it is worth remembering that situations are not excluded when a husband or wife will experience a real feeling for another partner. And this probability is quite high.

Unfinished relationships in the past

Often there are cases when a wife cheated on her husband with a former young man. chance meeting With ex-boyfriend, a heart-to-heart conversation in a cafe evokes memories and nostalgia for the past. Such a meeting can quickly lead to treason, because here it seems that the former is sitting, but such native person. Women are so impulsive and easily succumb to their emotions. This is the most regretted change. When a wife cheats on her husband former spouse or a guy, there is a real betrayal, since this relationship is based not only on sex, but also on mutual feeling warmth, tenderness and affection.

Close friends

Why do women often cheat on their husband with his friend? The husband's best friend subsequently becomes just a family friend who communicates equally well with both spouses. A man is always sure that friendship is sacred, so a friend will never betray. “Yes, he doesn’t even look at his wife as a woman,” men often think. We should not forget that the relationship between a man and a woman is always based on mutual sympathy and attraction. There is no just friendship, someone still loves. A family friend can calm his wife in moments of major quarrels and despair, take pity on her, caress her. And she herself will not notice how she has already cheated on her husband with his friend.

Spontaneous betrayal

A woman can cheat on her husband quite by accident. The most fatal moments of quarrels are when the wife is vulnerable and requires a strong and reliable shoulder nearby. As a rule, in such situations, the wife cheats on her husband for the first time, and this can be absolutely unknown man whom she just met in a bar. Casual relationships include betrayal during a separate holiday. A holiday romance is simply a classic of the genre of all adultery. If a woman cheated on her husband on vacation, then it is easier for her to hide this incident and forget about what happened herself. Recreation always involves alcohol and relaxation, but what if a woman meets interesting man, it is practically impossible to resist.

Systematic betrayals

If a woman often cheats on her husband, then most likely a new admirer has appeared in her life, who occupies a certain place in her soul and thoughts. Such stable meetings with another man help a woman to get the emotions of falling in love long forgotten in her marriage. It is important for a woman to be desired and liked by others, these feelings are the key to her eternal youth. When a woman cheats on her husband with a lover, there is a high probability that the husband finds out about this relationship. Indeed, in any case, sooner or later, the husband will begin to think that his wife is cheating, noticing her changing behavior, her bright face, her sparkling eyes.

I cheated on my husband, how to return?

When a woman has already cheated on her husband, it is too late to regret what she has done, you need to think about how to alleviate the situation and make it less painful for the spouse. You should give your husband time to cool down so that he can talk to you calmly. Only after that, a woman will be able to understand whether her husband still loves her and whether he can forgive. The first reaction of men to betrayal is a similar revenge, and the wife needs to be prepared for this.

A woman decides to cheat in order to get new sensations or feelings forgotten in marriage, but it is worth remembering how much you will have to go through after this fleeting weakness.

When we talk about infidelity, we tend to think more about men. However, women also cheat on their partners. And it happens often. The only difference between male and female infidelity is the reasons for the actions. No wonder people say that female infidelity does not exist, either revenge exists or new love. And what to call if there was a betrayal with a friend of her husband? This is what we will try to figure out.

Reasons for a woman's infidelity

As already mentioned, women cheat just like men. But their infidelity is not always guided by the same motives. Another difference lies in the fact that in society there is an absolute attitude to what men and women change. If a husband deceives his wife, they say that he is a womanizer, that this is a natural instinct. When a wife cheats, it is considered debauchery. But what are the real causes of infidelity in women?

This is a very subjective question. Every woman has her own reasons for cheating on her husband. And according to a study conducted by Canadian scientists this year, the first place among the causes of female infidelity is the lack of sexual activity. Indeed, 19.5% of women say that the main reason for their infidelity is a sharp decrease in sexual activity with their spouse. 37% of wives admit that they have one sexual relationship per month.

It can also be noted that women aged 30 to 45 cheat much more often. And almost 80% of women do not divorce their husbands, moreover, they admit that this infidelity saved their marriage. And only 7% feel remorse after committing adultery.

The Internet plays a big role in this today. Thanks to social networks and dating sites have become much easier to meet a potential sexual partner. The influence of the Internet greatly contributes to gender equality in infidelity.

Cheating with husband's friend

Often you can find cases when a wife is cheating on her husband with his best friend. Such cases can confidently be called classics of the genre. Why is this happening? Is it possible that a woman could not choose another lover from a huge number of men?

The love triangle: husband, wife, best friend is especially painful. For my husband this double betrayal: on the one hand, his beloved wife changed, on the other, his best friend betrayed. Cheating with a husband's friend usually does not fit into the main ideas of female infidelity. As a lover, she chooses her husband's friend for two reasons:

there really is between lovers serious feelings and sooner or later wife will leave to a husband's friend;
this is the revenge of the wife, and so cruelly you can avenge a serious offense - most likely, also treason.

How to convict your wife of infidelity

Like any unfaithful person, when you change, behavior changes. Here are some of the potential signs of infidelity:

changes during appearance: she began to take care of herself more, began to visit beauty salons more often, buy new clothes;
decreased sexual activity: you make love very rarely, and you get the impression that she does it reluctantly;
disruption in the schedule: walking with friends or sports events doubled, delays at work, business trips;
caution in handling the phone or computer: passwords, secret correspondence, calls in the bathroom.

Careful observation of your wife can help you understand if there is another man in her life besides you. Remember that a woman is rarely limited to a one-time relationship. Most likely, this is a romance in which she is looking for something that she lacks so much in marriage. Therefore, sooner or later, she loses her vigilance and betrays herself.

What to do if the wife cheated with her best friend?

Regardless of what pushed the wife to cheat with her husband's friend, this is a betrayal, this is a serious damage. family life. The decision in this case can only be made by the husband (unless, of course, the wife has already left him).

There are also two solutions: forgive your wife or divorce her. It all depends on many factors:

how the wife justifies her act;
Does he feel guilt?
asks to forgive her;
she wants to stay in the family or get a divorce;
do you have feelings for her;
what you want, actually you: divorce or preservation of family.

In this case, it is most reasonable to talk frankly with your spouse, hear her arguments, understand what she lacked in marriage, since she went for treason. If the shock is too great, it is recommended to seek professional help to a family psychologist.

If we talk about a friend, more precisely about who was your best friend, the situation is clear here. Friendship with this person is out of the question. Let's say it's not even love, but a one-time relationship, your wife seduced him herself to annoy you, and as a result, your family is going to divorce. But can you trust this man? Where is the guarantee that he will not do the same when you have a relationship?

You must understand that a man, in principle, will never even look at his friend's wife. Therefore, a woman who wants to cheat on her husband with his best friend, it is wiser to refuse this idea. The husband may forgive his wife, but the betrayal of a person with whom so much has been experienced, who was trusted with many secrets and secrets, who supported in moments of joy and sadness, is almost impossible. If a husband catches such a betrayal, then this can turn into a tragedy: in a state of passion, you can not only fill your friend's face, but even kill him. The thing is that the husband will shift the blame for what happened to his friend. Okay, wife, she is a woman, stupid, useless, but here's a friend ...

That is why it is better to choose anyone as a lover, but not a friend of her husband.

What men say who have had sex with a friend's wife

If a woman, taking her husband away from a friend's family, thinks only about herself and her happiness, then the situation is different with men. For men, friendship is sacred, so they also deeply experience the connection with the wife of their best friend. But what drives them to do so? Most often this is a matter of chance, a temptation, because, as you know, the forbidden fruit is sweet. Many men admit that they do it out of pity for women, because often wives complain about their husbands to their friends. And, of course, the main reason for such a connection is the feelings that arose for a woman. Yes, it really happens and this - he fell in love with his best friend's wife. If these feelings are mutual, then it is very difficult to resist them.

How to avoid cheating in the family

It doesn’t matter who this person is, a family friend or any other man, but if your wife is cheating on you with him, then your marriage is far from ideal. This means that there are problems in the family and not only the spouse is to blame for them. Think about what drives her to take this step. Perhaps she lacks love, care, attention, elementary human warmth and participation. Maybe he is sexually unsatisfied. And, perhaps, the matter is in your character and scandals often occur in the house. In any case, you need to reconsider your attitude to marriage. Even if a divorce awaits you with your wife, understanding your own mistakes will help you to improve your relationship in the future. personal life and maintain new relationships.

As you can see, cheating with the husband's best friend is a classic triangle, participation in which brings trouble to all his parties. It is impossible to get out of such a triangle with the benefit of all three.

So, what to do if you cheated on your husband with his friend? First, it is necessary to understand why exactly the woman did this. What was the reason and what exactly prompted her to change. There are many options, and we will consider the main ones.

Passion

Sometimes it happens that we live next to a person for many years and treat him indifferently or in a friendly way, and then suddenly we begin to see him from a completely different side and feel attraction. Someone can overcome this desire, and someone rushes "into the pool with his head." And after the act is completed, the realization comes that you cheated on your loved one and it becomes scary. How to act in such a situation? If a woman feels that she went on a betrayal with a friend out of stupidity and in fact she loves only her husband, then such a story can be hidden. Of course, only if you are sure that the friend himself will not tell the husband. If this happens, then you will be in worse position. Therefore, you can be silent about this only when you are confident in the second person.

If you decide to tell, be prepared for the fact that you can lose relations with both your husband and his friend. A husband may simply refuse both of you, and a friend will accuse you of breaking their relationship. Therefore, in this case, it is up to you to decide whether it is worth being honest or whether it is better to live on as if nothing had happened. Of course, you can face your own conscience, but it’s hard to suggest anything here, because everyone decides for himself how best to act.

Revenge

If you cheated on your husband for revenge, then most likely you want him to know about it. In such a situation, only one question arises: what to do with his friend. After all, if a woman cheated with a man whom he has known for many years and whom he trusts, then, often, a man may not forgive his friend and break off relations with him. Of course your personal relationships with her husband, in theory, his friendship should not be hooked, but on the other hand, it is worth considering how strong friendship is if a man calmly cheated on his friend with his wife. Therefore, if you decide to take revenge, then you probably still need to make this relationship public in order to get the desired satisfaction. Although it is still believed that revenge never leads to anything good. But here it is up to each individual to decide whether to agree with this statement or not.

Love

Well, the last one, the most difficult option- A woman changed because she fell in love. Here in this situation it is always necessary to be honest with ourselves and with people who are not indifferent to us. If you feel that you fell in love with your husband's friend, and he reciprocates, you should not run away from your feelings and try to save the family. In this case, you will simply make three people unhappy. Your husband will still always feel that there are no longer the same feelings between you, and your secrets will begin to torment him and sooner or later the relationship will collapse anyway. That is why it is better to be honest about everything right away. Of course, your husband will not be at all happy with such news, and, most likely, your relationship will deteriorate for for a long time and possibly forever. However, you will still know that you did the right thing, and your husband will someday understand that despite the fact that he is in pain, at least he was treated fairly. Remember that love can never be built on lies. Therefore, if you want to be happy - tell us about your betrayal.

It is believed that male friendship is stronger than female. In a situation where a wife cheated on her husband with a friend, his comrade is always guilty. It is the betrayal of this person that will be especially painful. As for the wife, the man, perhaps, will forgive her, wanting to save the family. But a comrade who stepped over their friendship will never be able to understand. General men's world will collapse when the truth about his betrayal is revealed.

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Why did this happen?

The reasons why a married and happily married woman commits adultery with the best friend of the family can be different. The most common:

1. A woman does not feel for her husband old love and does not enjoy his caresses. A wife who loves her husband will never commit adultery.
2. She looked at his friend with different eyes and at some point realized that she fell in love like a girl.
3. The lady decided to take revenge on her husband. If she suspects him of cheating, she will want to answer in the most insidious way - with his friend.
4. This is not her first betrayal. This means that a woman is not distinguished by deep moral character, and this is her next intrigue.
5. After a large and clearly excessive dose of alcohol, the spouse could not refuse a persistent man who often visits the house and with whom she has close friendly relations.

Regardless of the reason, ignoring the fact of treason will not work. You can’t pretend that nothing happened, after all, this is a betrayal by loved ones and silently swallowing betrayal means not respecting yourself.

Married women cheat on their husbands

How to forgive a wife?

Hardly experiencing the betrayal of his wife and friend, a man is still able to think rationally and do the right thing. For the right decision you need:

1. Deal with your emotions. Don't wave your fists or create unnecessary complications by attracting curious neighbors and demanding judgments. We need to calm down and then act.
2. Understand your feelings for your spouse. If the husband still loves his wife, try to forgive and forget about her mistake. If he understands that he will never come to terms with betrayal, then he should not torture himself and his wife, he should part with her.
3. Calmly discuss the situation. Find out how important their family and relationships are to the spouse. If her feelings are not returned, then the best way out is to let her go.

A man should not forget that he himself is to blame for the betrayal. Female betrayals rarely occur on empty place".They could be caused by the following factors:

1. A man did not marry for love, and the lady is looking for passion on the side.
2. The husband was cold with his wife and offended her. Do not be shy to show love for her and be more attentive.

The spouse should weigh all the pros and cons, and understand what he will lose if they divorce. Perhaps she:

makes him happy;
is an economic, caring woman and a loving mother;
is perceived by the spouse not only as a wife, but also as a friend;
repents for his behavior and promises not to do it again.

Of course, betrayal on her part no longer makes her a good friend, just like the meanness of a comrade who dared to take advantage of his wife. But we must remember all the good things that happened before, and life can get better. Perhaps, for the sake of the children, one should save the marriage and live on, especially if she sincerely repents of her act and this has not happened to her before.

How to deal with a friend?

In the eyes of an offended husband, the initiator of the betrayal will be his comrade, not his wife. This situation can even become criminal if you do not restrain your anger. In order to avoid problems with the law and financial compensation for inflicting severe beatings, it is worth restraining yourself from rash actions.

If you think about it, the guilt of a friend is really stronger. It will not be possible to justify that she herself seduced him. This excuse is good for free ladies, but not for a friend's wife. Going on such an act, he was aware of how it would end, and he understood that he risked losing them both. Having destroyed male friendships, family and relationships, he forgot about moral principles: the wife of his best friend is a taboo. A man who violates it rarely finds comrades afterwards.

The husband, having learned about it with his friend, must forever slam the door of his own house on him and preserve his dignity. It is necessary to break off all relations with him, both friendly and business.

If you forgive him, deciding that all the blame is on an unreasonable and frivolous woman, then after some time, such a comrade will betray again. And it will be the fault of the person who forgave him.

I love my husband and he loves me too. And recently I cheated on him with his friend. He attacked me unexpectedly. At first I resisted, and then for some reason I stopped. I liked this man as a good friend, an interlocutor. He confessed to me that he fell in love with me as soon as he saw me 2 years ago, but he always held on. Nobody knows what happened. And he won't know. But I don't know what to do and how to live. I'm scared to look my husband in the eyes. His friend wants to continue the relationship, but I also avoid him. It's hard to live by lying. I can't confess. After all, the husband will be very hurt. I became irritable, inattentive. I don't want to see anyone, my heart is empty. My daughter is now on vacation with her grandmother. My husband believes and trusts me. Before, we shared everything, discussed, solved problems together. Now I cannot explain to him the reason for my despondency. What to do, how to recover and how to behave. I love my husband, I want to be with him. But probably old relationship will not, even if he does not know anything.

spider, Internet, 30 years old / 25.07.06

Opinions of our experts

Alyona

You know, at first I felt sorry for you, because it's really very hard to live with such a secret burden on your shoulders and not be able to tell the one you love about it, because it will hurt him. And then I asked myself the question: what are the chances of married woman to be alone with her husband's friend in such a place and at such a time that no one and nothing can prevent them from having sex? Indeed, what are? What did you have to do and where to be so that your husband’s friend fearlessly “attacked” you and fucked you? And why, after this sex, does he insist on continuing the "banquet"? I'm sorry, but the conclusion suggests itself that you are not a victim of circumstances at all. You probably knew and felt that your husband’s friend liked you, and you yourself gave him a reason to “pounce” on you without fear of getting from you, and subsequently from your husband, when you tell him how his boyfriend dirty molested you. Well, you tried, and now, after the fact, you began to rethink what had happened and realized that the game was not worth the candle. Perhaps the friend was not better than a husband in bed, otherwise there would be less remorse, and she herself would want to continue. Forgive me for being harsh, but you need to be able to call such things by their proper names, and if you already understand that you cheated, then you don’t need to shift all the responsibility for this to the peasant, if you yourself ended up with him in a convenient place and in convenient time. I am sincerely sorry for your husband, because his wife turned out to be morally unstable, and a friend is not a friend, but so ... Probably, he should not know about your betrayal at all, because this knowledge will hit him from both sides. But I would save my husband from such a friend. Do him such a favor, because yesterday he slept with his friend's wife, and tomorrow he will betray your husband in another important issue. In respect of mental anguish Unfortunately, I can't help. Conscience is a thing with an enviable appetite: it eats us slowly but surely. Learn to live with the fact that now you have something to hide from your family. Forget - you will not forget, but the feeling of shame will dull over time. Unless, of course, you do not start cultivating it, like roses in a greenhouse. I do not recommend self-flagellation. Better draw conclusions and try to be nice to your family. They are not at all to blame for what happened to you.
Sergey

So, let's start with the fact that even soulless ultra-precise mechanisms make mistakes. People, as emotional beings, all the more so. But unlike iron, people have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. You feel bad, ashamed, scared, well, remember what it's like, and don't change it anymore. In every situation, there is both good and bad. It’s bad that I sinned, but it’s good that I gained experience and accepted correct solution. To be holy while living in paradise and not knowing sin is very simple. But knowing its attractiveness, consciously refuse - this is the path of a true righteous man. So stop spouting. Everything that has happened has already happened. It has already become the past. Why spoil the future? I strongly advise you to shove your suffering deeper. And in no case, under no circumstances, should the husband find out about what happened. Tell his friend directly that you were wrong, that you love your husband, and in general you didn’t like it, so there will be no repetitions. I hope that everything is in order with his head, and he will not become frank with your husband on a drunken business. And about the fact that it is difficult to live by deceiving - that's true. But consider that this is your retribution for what you have done. You can still take a week off and wave to your daughter in the village. In nature, brains fall into place faster.