How should a wife treat her husband? Customs and traditions. Instructions to Husband and Wife on Their Rights and Responsibilities in a Genuine Christian Marriage

1. Treat your wife as an equal, in a gentle manner and do not forbid her from what is allowed by Sharia.

There are many hadiths on this subject: "The best of you are those who treat their wives well." at-Tirmizi

2. Patiently endure the offense that his wife gave him, treat her condescendingly when she is angry. After all, it may also happen that anger will seize a woman and, under the influence of irritation, she will begin to move away from her husband, letting him know that she is angry. IN similar cases the husband should show tolerance and meekness towards his wife, demonstrating deep knowledge true essence female nature and character.

3. Treat your wife jokingly, make her laugh when necessary, treat her kindly so that her heart is filled with joy. And so that all this happens within the framework of what is permitted, so that his authority does not fall in her eyes.

4. The place of residence of the wife must be the same in terms of conditions as the residence of the husband, i.e. the need to provide her with reasonable conditions of privacy, comfort and independence. Therefore, the husband should, if possible, give her his private room in the house.

5. A husband is obliged to spend on a woman who has given herself to him as a wife. He must provide his wife with food, clothing, sufficient for this season, cover the costs during childbirth. These rights of the wife must be satisfied without frills and stinginess. There is a hadith on this subject:

“If a man spends money on his family without complaining about their loss, then this is counted to him as alms.” al-Bukhari and Muslim

Also, the wife has complete financial independence and has the right to spend her money on necessary, noble goals.

If the wife is obstinate and disobedient, refuses to enjoy her husband for no reason, leaves the house without his permission, without religious circumstances, in this case, the husband is relieved of the obligation to spend on her.

6. The husband is obliged to teach his wife what she is obliged to know about religion, or to provide her with one who will teach, or to allow her to go to those places where she can obtain the necessary knowledge, if she does not already possess them. It is his duty to make sure that she prays, fasts in the month of Ramadan, etc., as ALLAH commanded him to do so in the Qur'an. The meaning of this verse is as follows:

“Tell your family to pray at the appointed time. After all, prayer is the strongest connection with ALLAH. And diligently perform the prayer yourself completely. (20;132. Tafsirul-Jalalayn)

7. If a man has taken more than one wife, he should treat them all equally and not prefer one over the other in allocating his attention or his concern for their needs. The Hadith says: “If one who has two wives pays attention to one more than the other, on the Day of Judgment he will rise lopsided.”

8. If the wife is disobedient, he is obliged to educate her, to explain to her what she owes according to Sharia, and that ALLAH commanded her. If even then he does not obey, then he can separate her from the bed. After these measures, he is allowed to beat his wife, but not hard and you can not hit her in the face.

9. After the wife submits, the husband should not argue with her, move away from her and upset her.

10. Do not move away from her immediately after sexual contact without her consent. In order to achieve maximum satisfaction for both partners, he is not allowed to do anything on his part that may interfere with her satisfaction. If he does not satisfy his wife, then it turns out that he does not fulfill his duties to her and this can serve as a reason for quarrels and discord between them. In addition, the husband will be responsible for this before ALLAH. He must respect her feelings, show her kindness and respect.

11. Protect her from everything forbidden, be ready to intercede for her, where it is necessary according to Sharia.

12. In no case should you humiliate your wife by word or deed, do not humiliate her relatives, do not mock them. A Muslim prefers not to put his wife in an awkward position in front of people if he wants to express his censure to her, make a remark about her behavior or correct some mistake, but tries to find for this appropriate place and time.

13. Show her respect. If he does not love her, then do not oppress, do not torment, do not show his disgust towards her or inspire her with a sense of insecurity and uncertainty, but show patience.

7 commandments of an ideal wife

Why are we unhappy in family life? Usually we blame men for all the troubles. Or maybe it's time to stop criticizing and complaining, and become wiser, correct the situation, starting with yourself? The article offers advice to women who will certainly help to find happiness in family life.

When getting married, every woman is sure that she will become the only one for her man for life. But for some reason it does not work out - this is evidenced by the statistics of divorces. Who is guilty? What to do?

In most cases, we blame men: not like that, but not like that. But is it easier for us from these accusations? Or maybe we, who are wiser by nature, should stop criticizing and complaining, and think about how we can fix the situation?

I propose to start with yourself, to become, to some extent, ideal. In fact, ideals do not exist in reality, they exist only in our minds, but you can try to get closer to the desired perfection.

What is she, an ideal wife that a man will never leave? This is a woman who is guided in life by such commandments:

1. Accept a man as he is, do not try to re-educate him
First, nothing will work. Secondly, these attempts will lead to discord in the relationship.

If you have already married him, try not to focus on his mistakes, shortcomings. If you want to correct something - do it very skillfully: gently, unobtrusively, tactfully, at the right time.

Men are very sensitive and vulnerable, although they hide it. Never humiliate or insult your husband, even if there is a reason for this. Be patient and wise.

2. Don't Treat Your Husband Like Property
Many women make the mistake of keeping their husbands short leash. The argument “You are married, therefore, you must always be close to your wife” seems undeniable to them. It is even worse if hysteria of causeless jealousy joins this position.

Understand that a person needs a certain freedom, the ability to make a choice, his own psychological space. Let him have some kind of hobby (football, fishing, sauna). He does not forbid you to embroider with beads or enjoy shopping?

Let him go sometimes corporate party to meet up with friends. A man from time to time should be in purely male companies. You do not deprive yourself of the joy of talking with friends?

This tactic in terms of strengthening family relations will bring much more benefit than baseless restrictions. Remember, forbidden fruit is sweet.

3. Let your husband be a man
In a woman, the instinct of motherhood is strong, which sometimes extends to her husband. Excessive worries and guardianship deprive a man of the opportunity (and soon the desire) to be a man. And then we ourselves are indignant: “He can’t take a step without me!”

Try to behave in such a way that your husband can be confident in himself. Let him consider himself beautiful, smart, successful, even if sometimes he does not reach such a “title”.

Support him in striving to be more perfect, to do something for you and for you, let it all be just a hammered nail. Further more.

Praise every time the opportunity arises. Action needs a stimulus. Your love, respect, support, gratitude will inspire new achievements.

4. Love yourself
Yes, don't be surprised. An ideal wife should love not only her husband, but also herself. Otherwise, she will be of interest to a man as a nanny, cook, laundress, but not as a woman.

There are two aspects: caring for your appearance and spiritual development.
Nobody canceled the truth that men admire beautiful women. Use everything available funds to be well-groomed, attractive, stylish. Your husband should admire and be proud of you.

But a painted doll does not suit everyone. It is a misconception that men love stupid women. Such "models" quickly get bored.

The ideal wife has a broad outlook, can give useful advice. It is interesting to communicate with her, you can appear everywhere without fear of stupid phrases and inappropriate behavior.

But it is important not to overdo it: wise woman will not emphasize its superiority. The husband should not feel stupider than you. It humiliates a man.

5. Be flexible, different
Your task is to become irreplaceable for your husband: an excellent hostess and a passionate lover, a caring mother and an interesting companion, weak and defenseless, but also strong when life circumstances require it.

Keep in mind that routine, monotony kills feelings. Don't get stuck in one image, change them! Sometimes acting doesn't hurt either. Try to "colorize" gray everyday life, present surprises from time to time.

6. Understand and support your husband
All roles are important, but, as one man said, the most important thing for a wife is the ability to relax and excite. It’s understandable about “exciting”, but many people forget about the ability to calm down, distract from problems, and give them the opportunity to relax.

It is pleasant for a man to return to where he is expected, where he is comfortable and calm, regardless of problems at work, unpaid loans and the dollar exchange rate.

Let your husband feel that he can always rely on you, that you will be with him in joy and in sorrow.

7. Build equal, balanced relationships
A typical situation is when a wife believes that her husband is obliged and should earn decent money, help around the house, manage to keep the dacha in order, teach children at a prestigious school, take the family to rest in warm countries, take care of her parents and so on ad infinitum.

It is likely that in such a situation there will no longer be strength to love, and there will be disappointment in family life and anger from the fact that it has been pulling this strap for so long. And it is unlikely that you will be able to persuade him to suffer more.

But the opposite is no better. If you live for others, without pretending to act in return, you turn into a victim, evoke a feeling of pity (not love and admiration!) And your self-sacrifice, in the end, makes your husband’s guilt unbearable, and he ... leaves.

Illogical? This is only at first glance. It is human nature to get rid of any discomfort in a relationship, even if "everything is just for him." Feeling sorry is not the best foundation for a happy relationship.

Try to implement these commandments - you will not regret it: the love of a spouse, harmony in the family, mutual understanding are guaranteed to you. Near perfect wife and the husband becomes perfect!

Every woman wants to be loved and admired not only in the first year married life but also after 20 years. No, of course, with time a habit comes, and your husband will accept you for who you are. But you want to be not just accepted, but loved and idolized. Moreover, there is nothing difficult in becoming an ideal companion, the main thing is to start changing.

1. You must cook for your husband. No one, of course, will ask for delights from you every day for dinner. french cuisine, but you have to learn how to cook borscht and cutlets for the top five. The ability to cook really tasty can come with time and experience. So practice every day. Now the Internet is in almost every home, read recipes, experiment, try. You can buy a slow cooker, it’s easier to cook in it, and the recipe book comes right away.

2. Your home should always be clean. Of course, there is no need to “lick” the house to a shine every day. It is enough to do a little cleaning every day, and on weekends, arrange general cleaning. By the way, to daily affairs, you can connect both children and husband. Let them help put toys away, wash dishes, wipe dust. Eventually, you too get tired and need help.

3. Laundry must be done in a timely manner. So that both the husband and the children always have clean things. Also, you should always have a couple of clean sets of bed linen.

4. You are a mother and you should be able to calm a raging child. If the child screams idle, sheds tears, demanding a toy or not wanting to go to bed. It is you who must calm him down, no, not indulge him, if only he would be silent, namely, to convince him to calm down by talking. You should also make sure that the child behaves decently at a party and on the street.

5. You must know which pill to give to your husband or child, who has a fever or a toothache and you should always have medicines available in the medicine cabinet at home.

What should a wife be like?

1. Even if you are a housewife, you must have your own interests and hobbies. You should not live only as a husband. While he is watching football, do not nag him or try to watch with him. Mind your own business, show that you are also a person and you have your own interests.

2. Don't stay at home all the time. You must have your circle of friends. Leave the house sometimes, let your husband get bored. At the same time, dress nicely and make up.

3. No matter how meager your wardrobe, you should always have Nice dress on a figure for an exit in people. Let's say your husband has a bonus and he called you to celebrate this event in a restaurant, to which you answer him that you have nothing to wear, and you just stay at home. It is for such occasions that you should always have something to wear.

4. Always engage in your self-development. Read books, interesting articles on the Internet, no, do not gossip about the stars, namely informative articles. When your husband comes home, show off your knowledge and at dinner tell him some interesting fact about which he does not know.

5. Be nice and friendly with others, try to smile and behave decently. You should please his friends and always be a hospitable hostess. The same applies to the husband’s relatives, try not to conflict with them and not nag your husband at their expense.

intimacy

In order not to be jealous of your husband and not to be afraid of his betrayals, you need to behave correctly in the bedroom.

1. No need to punish your husband for misconduct, lack of intimacy, or, conversely, encourage him for something intimate.

2. Do not behave too constrained in bed, because you have nothing to be ashamed of in bed with a loved one.

3. But, of course, you don’t need to do the unnatural and behave like a worker in the Dutch sex industry. When asked how many men there were before him, answer with a smile that everything that was before him does not matter.

4. Be willing to try new things and diversify your intimate life.

5. Do not discuss your intimate life with your friends, it is only your personal and it is not necessary for others to know about it.

10 rules in appearance

A wife should remember that men love with their eyes. Therefore, you should always look dignified under any circumstances.

1. You should always have clean teeth and no bad breath from your mouth.

2. It is not necessary to dress at home according to the latest trends, but clothes should be clean, neat and true to size. Therefore, exclude sizeless faded bathrobes from your wardrobe. You can wear, say, leggings, leggings, shorts to them, pick up t-shirts, tunics and shirts.

3. Your face and body must be free of hair.

4. Don't forget about proper nutrition and occasionally remind your husband that a hamburger is the wrong food.

5. Hair should always be clean and smell good. It is not necessary to do hairstyles while at home and cover them with a layer of varnish for fixation. If your husband wants to run his hand through your hair, he should not get tangled in them.

6. Watch your gait, it should be smooth and graceful.

8. No need to cover yourself with a layer at home foundation and cosmetics. It is enough just to apply a face cream, tint with lip gloss and mascara. And that's it, you are beautiful.

9. Keep your nails clean and beautiful. Forget about extended nails, it has long been out of fashion. If the varnish begins to peel off, immediately remove it with liquid. Regularly clean them from dirt, and shape them with a nail file.

10. Don't worry about your weight. Believe me 3-5 extra pounds the husband will not notice, but if you constantly remind him of this, he will begin to look closely and think that something is really wrong with you. No need to refuse to eat with him because you are on a diet. Don't talk about it. Say that you don’t want just fried chicken today, you want a light salad.

1. No need to educate your husband and talk to him in a commanding voice. You are not raising a shepherd dog, but communicating with your loved one. Often women complain that they are tired of dragging everything on themselves and being a man in the family. And don't take on too much, be a woman. Always ask your husband for help, even if you can drive in a nail yourself, he should do it.

2. Do not constantly criticize your husband for what he did not do or did, but not so. Don't spoil yourself nervous system. Well, it's okay that he stained the bathroom again with toothpaste or didn't take out the garbage.

3. Be interested in his work and affairs. Even if you do not understand anything in his profession, still ask and listen.

4. Do not swear or argue with your spouse in public. No one should know what's going on in your family. In addition, there is no need to humiliate your loved one in the eyes of other people.

5. Give thanks for the gifts he gives you, especially if it's on a non-holiday. He will have a desire to give them to you further. Mark any piece of mammoth that he brought into your "cave".

6. Do not give a reason for jealousy. Yes, I want my husband to somehow demonstrate that you are not indifferent to him. But this is not the best way. Especially if you try to make him jealous with the help of his friend. You and a friend can quarrel him and in a common company seem like a windy lady to everyone. Yes, and then you will also receive the first number from your husband.

These are just a few basic rules of what a wife should be for her husband. Yes, at first glance, it seems that being an ideal wife is not easy. But no one promised that everything would be easy and smooth. The main thing is to start changing yourself, at first it will not be easy, and then it will become a habit.

Which of these rules do you agree with and which do you not? And which ones does your husband follow?

1. The first thing a husband should do upon returning home is to hug and kiss his wife.

2. Ask your wife about the past day, show interest in her friends, books that she reads.

3. Learn to listen and ask questions.

4. Suppress the temptation to solve her problems, instead expressing your sympathy for her.

5. Be sure to spend some time every day talking with your wife. At the same time, do not be distracted by the TV, mobile phone or internet

6. To bring flowers to his wife, both on the occasion of a celebration, and without a specific reason. Let this be a pleasant surprise for her.

7. Do not wait until Friday to ask your wife how she would like to spend the weekend, plan everything in advance.

8. If the wife needs to cook dinner and she is tired or very busy, you should offer to help her.

9. Compliment your wife.

10. Respect her feelings when she is angry or upset.

11. Offer to help when the wife feels tired.

12. Lingering somewhere, call home and warn her.

13. If the wife asks for help, the husband may agree or refuse if it is not possible, but at the same time he should not reproach her for turning to him.

14. If the wife's feelings are hurt, the husband should express his sympathy to her: "I am very sorry that you are so worried." And say nothing more. Give her the opportunity to appreciate his attention. Do not offer advice, do not try to prove that her experiences are not his fault.

15. Explain to your wife the reasons for your concern. Speak in a persuasive and even-tempered way so that she doesn't imagine the worst.

16. If your wife usually does the dishes, offer her your services from time to time, especially if she is tired.

17. When leaving home, ask if you need to go to the store. Don't forget what she asked you to do.

19. Tell your wife "I love you" at least twice a day.

20. If someone brought his wife out of balance, the husband is obliged to take her side.

21. Offer to give her a back, neck, leg or general massage.

22. Do not forget about caresses.

Respect

The first and rather important point is respect. Without it, one cannot imagine normal relationship. How should a husband treat the wife he loves? Respect.

It does not mean to be henpecked at all. But a man should respect his beloved woman. It is impossible to insult, humiliate and offend, all the more, it is impossible to raise a hand against your wife. This is the height of disrespect. It is also not recommended to speak unflatteringly about the parents of the spouse.

Equally

The relationship of husband and wife is something that cannot be described briefly. Each family has its own rules of behavior and relationships. Despite this, there are still common features.

The next piece of advice is treating the woman you love as an equal. And in any situation. Usually this feature ceases to be observed when the wife goes on maternity leave and sits at home with the children without replenishing family budget. Even in this case, the husband should not reproach the woman. Spouses are equal members of the family. In any case, in Russia. This rule regulated at the legislative level. Therefore, it is worth remembering that a man and a woman in the family have equal rights. You can't hurt them.

conversations

How should a husband treat his wife? Conversations between spouses require special attention. It's no secret that women tend to communicate a lot. And men are not. They are short and to the point.

What's next? If a dispute arose, in no case should one stoop to humiliation. If emotions take over, you should either avoid dialogue or communicate with the woman calmly. As much as possible. Wives are emotional people. Very often they remember everything that was said by their husbands in the heat of the moment. And in the future it will play a cruel joke with a man.

Support and sympathy

How should a husband treat his wife? Women, due to the special structure of the psyche, the structure of their organisms, need sympathy and support. Especially if there are any problems. You should not immediately decide everything for a woman. First of all, you need to support her and sympathize, empathize. Both in word and deed. Show tenderness and affection when the wife needs it.

A husband is a support for a woman. Therefore, the spouse must be sure that she will be able to support her in Hard time. This is extremely important. Maybe for a husband, sympathy and empathy are not so significant. But for the wife - quite. A marriage in which a girl does not have support from her beloved man is doomed. Most likely, she will start looking for her on the side.

Support

How should a husband treat his wife? It has already been said that a man is a support for a woman. The head of the family, the "stone wall" that protects from troubles and dangers. This is the behavior of a real man.

The most important thing is that there really is support. And that it was not an illusion based on words. A beloved wife should feel safe with a man. Then she will be able to give her affection and love to her husband. Only in this case harmony is possible.

Unfortunately, now the trend is such that wives begin to take on some of the male duties, and it is not possible to rely on the spouse. As a result, internal family problems arise that cannot be solved in any way. loving husband- This reliable protection and support for women. A person who gives confidence in the future.

home, child, entertainment

It has already been said that spouses in marriage should be on an equal footing. Now some specifics. Quite often, after the wedding, the beloved wife begins to serve her husband, takes care of the house, life, and family. IN modern world women, as already mentioned, often work to help their husband provide for the family. And then they take over the "second shift" - they do household chores.

Such a phenomenon is detrimental to relationships. How should a husband treat his wife? Help with the baby and around the house. Give the woman time for herself. And if the husband rests from time to time (for example, once a week he goes fishing), then the wife is entitled to a similar day of rest. This is especially true when both work. It is unfair if after labor day the husband sits down to play at the computer while the wife cleans, does laundry, cooks, does homework with the children, and so on.

In other words, there should be mutual assistance and mutual understanding in the family. Of course, every good husband must remember his male duties. And don't involve your wife in them. If it so happened that, for some life circumstances, a woman began to perform male functions, part female husband takes on himself. This is a guarantee of equality and successful unit of society.

Pregnancy

Very often people are interested in how a husband should treat a pregnant wife. After all, during this period, a woman's body is rebuilt. Someone becomes calm, someone becomes an unbearable hysteric. How to behave?

Pregnancy is not a disease. This should be remembered. But, as many say, it's easier to go to work with a cold. It should be remembered that during pregnancy a woman is most vulnerable. Therefore, it is recommended to be patient and not react violently to emotional changes.
Again, pregnancy is not a disease. Treat your wife like you don't need to. But it is worth listening to the requests of a woman in a position.
Support and attention - that's what a pregnant woman needs. If the wife asks to go for an ultrasound and look at the baby, it is better for the husband to agree. And show interest in the unborn child. The woman will be pleased.
Tantrums and strange desires wives are temporary. They, as already mentioned, must be endured. In no case do not threaten with a divorce, do not leave the girl "in position" alone.
Less stress. A woman whom a man loves needs to be protected from any trouble during pregnancy. After all, your baby's health depends on it!

All these tips will help a man to show himself as a loving and attentive person. Of course, all other features should not be forgotten either. Basically, the key to success is:

respect;
attention and understanding;
equality;
ignoring some female emotional outbursts;
manifestation of care.

According to Sharia

Most of the peoples of the world have specific guidelines for how a husband should treat his wife. This normal phenomenon. What can Biblical stories, for example, as well as Muslim traditions offer?

According to Sharia, a man should be guided by the following advice:

Communicate with your wife on an equal footing and do not prohibit everything that Sharia permits.
Tolerate insults that a woman says. Do not respond to her aggression. Condescendingly treat your beloved during quarrels.
To please the wife, to make laugh and entertain. But at the same time, it is important to maintain harmony, to remain an authority for the girl.
Keep a woman. It is necessary. A husband who does not support his beloved is a disgrace to the family. At the same time, the money a wife earns is her money. She has the right to spend them as she sees fit.
A disobedient woman (who does not follow Shariah) is worth educating. It is not allowed to hit hard, in extreme cases and not in the face.
All wives are treated equally. This applies to both provision and attention.
Protect and protect a woman who is a wife. Protect where it is not prohibited by Shariah.
If a husband does not love his wife, then one should not show his dismissive attitude. Humiliate, offend, insult, beat - too. It is customary for Muslims to treat women with respect.

Bible

What are some tips for male behavior in the family can be identified from the Bible? To be honest, the instructions are somewhat similar. What does the Bible say? How should a husband treat his wife?

Among the instructions are:

A manifestation of firmness of character and at the same time tenderness for his wife.
Beloved woman must be constantly praised, admired. Then the girl will improve.
Be equal. The family is equality. It is required to yield to each other, to help.
Don't criticize your wife. A woman who is next to a man is the choice of the head of the family. There is no need to criticize the weaker sex.
Remember the importance of the little things.
Don't ignore a woman's need to be close to a man. Attention beloved should be given in the first place.
Satisfy the needs of his wife, treat mood swings with understanding.

There is an old Russian proverb: good husband and a bad bird is a queen. And the bad and the figure is a fool.

All of the above tips, if followed, will provide a woman with comfort, tranquility and coziness. The girl will gladly satisfy the desires of her husband. Therefore, it is important to understand that harmony in the family depends not only on wives. If a man behaves with dignity, then there will be an appropriate couple next to him!