How should a wife treat her husband? Customs and traditions. What is the ideal wife

Every woman wants to be loved and admired not only in the first year married life but also after 20 years. No, of course, with time a habit comes, and your husband will accept you for who you are. But you want to be not just accepted, but loved and idolized. Moreover, there is nothing difficult in becoming an ideal companion, the main thing is to start changing.

1. You must cook for your husband. No one, of course, will ask for delights from you every day for dinner. french cuisine, but you have to learn how to cook borscht and cutlets for the top five. The ability to cook really tasty can come with time and experience. So practice every day. Now the Internet is in almost every home, read recipes, experiment, try. You can buy a slow cooker, it’s easier to cook in it, and the recipe book comes right away.

2. Your home should always be clean. Of course, there is no need to “lick” the house to a shine every day. It is enough to do a little cleaning every day, and on weekends, arrange general cleaning. By the way, to daily affairs, you can connect both children and husband. Let them help put toys away, wash dishes, wipe dust. Eventually, you too get tired and need help.

3. Laundry must be done in a timely manner. So that both the husband and the children always have clean things. Also, you should always have a couple of clean sets of bed linen.

4. You are a mother and you should be able to calm a raging child. If the child screams idle, sheds tears, demanding a toy or not wanting to go to bed. It is you who must calm him down, no, not indulge him, if only he would be silent, namely, to convince him to calm down by talking. You should also make sure that the child behaves decently at a party and on the street.

5. You must know which pill to give to your husband or child, who has a fever or a toothache and you should always have medicines available in the medicine cabinet at home.

What should a wife be like?

1. Even if you are a housewife, you must have your own interests and hobbies. You should not live only as a husband. While he is watching football, do not nag him or try to watch with him. Mind your own business, show that you are also a person and you have your own interests.

2. Don't stay at home all the time. You must have your circle of friends. Leave the house sometimes, let your husband get bored. At the same time, dress nicely and make up.

3. No matter how meager your wardrobe, you should always have Nice dress on a figure for an exit in people. Let's say your husband has a bonus and he called you to celebrate this event in a restaurant, to which you answer him that you have nothing to wear, and you just stay at home. It is for such occasions that you should always have something to wear.

4. Always engage in your self-development. Read books, interesting articles on the Internet, no, do not gossip about the stars, namely informative articles. When your husband comes home, show off your knowledge and at dinner tell him some interesting fact about which he does not know.

5. Be nice and friendly with others, try to smile and behave decently. You should please his friends and always be a hospitable hostess. The same applies to the husband’s relatives, try not to conflict with them and not nag your husband at their expense.

intimacy

In order not to be jealous of your husband and not to be afraid of his betrayals, you need to behave correctly in the bedroom.

1. No need to punish your husband for misconduct, lack of intimacy, or, conversely, encourage him for something intimate.

2. Do not behave too constrained in bed, because you have nothing to be ashamed of in bed with a loved one.

3. But, of course, you don’t need to do the unnatural and behave like a worker in the Dutch sex industry. When asked how many men there were before him, answer with a smile that everything that was before him does not matter.

4. Be willing to try new things and diversify your intimate life.

5. Do not discuss your intimate life with your friends, it is only your personal and it is not necessary for others to know about it.

10 rules in appearance

A wife should remember that men love with their eyes. Therefore, you should always look dignified under any circumstances.

1. You should always have clean teeth and no bad breath from your mouth.

2. It is not necessary to dress at home according to the latest trends, but clothes should be clean, neat and true to size. Therefore, exclude sizeless faded bathrobes from your wardrobe. You can wear, say, leggings, leggings, shorts to them, pick up t-shirts, tunics and shirts.

3. Your face and body must be free of hair.

4. Don't forget about proper nutrition and occasionally remind your husband that a hamburger is the wrong food.

5. Hair should always be clean and smell good. It is not necessary to do hairstyles while at home and cover them with a layer of varnish for fixation. If your husband wants to run his hand through your hair, he should not get tangled in them.

6. Watch your gait, it should be smooth and graceful.

8. No need to cover yourself with a layer at home foundation and cosmetics. It is enough just to apply a face cream, tint with lip gloss and mascara. And that's it, you are beautiful.

9. Keep your nails clean and beautiful. Forget about extended nails, it has long been out of fashion. If the varnish begins to peel off, immediately remove it with liquid. Regularly clean them from dirt, and shape them with a nail file.

10. Don't worry about your weight. Believe me 3-5 extra pounds the husband will not notice, but if you constantly remind him of this, he will begin to look closely and think that something is really wrong with you. No need to refuse to eat with him because you are on a diet. Don't talk about it. Say that you don’t want just fried chicken today, you want a light salad.

1. No need to educate your husband and talk to him in a commanding voice. You are not raising a shepherd dog, but communicating with your loved one. Often women complain that they are tired of dragging everything on themselves and being a man in the family. And don't take on too much, be a woman. Always ask your husband for help, even if you can drive in a nail yourself, he should do it.

2. Do not constantly criticize your husband for what he did not do or did, but not so. Don't spoil yourself nervous system. Well, it's okay that he smeared toothpaste in the bathroom again or didn't take out the trash.

3. Be interested in his work and affairs. Even if you do not understand anything in his profession, still ask and listen.

4. Do not swear or argue with your spouse in public. No one should know what's going on in your family. In addition, there is no need to humiliate your loved one in the eyes of other people.

5. Give thanks for the gifts he gives you, especially if it's on a non-holiday. He will have a desire to give them to you further. Mark any piece of mammoth that he brought into your "cave".

6. Do not give a reason for jealousy. Yes, I want my husband to somehow demonstrate that you are not indifferent to him. But this is not the best way. Especially if you try to make him jealous with the help of his friend. You and a friend can quarrel him and in a common company seem like a windy lady to everyone. Yes, and then you will also receive the first number from your husband.

These are just a few basic rules of what a wife should be for her husband. Yes, at first glance, it seems that being an ideal wife is not easy. But no one promised that everything would be easy and smooth. The main thing is to start changing yourself, at first it will not be easy, and then it will become a habit.

Do you want to become the perfect wife for your husband, but don't know what exactly it should be? It seems to you that you are just such, but at the same time, in your family sometimes there are various problems? Let's find out what qualities the wives of modern men should have!

The ideal image of a woman for a man

Even before marriage, male representatives create their ideal female image, which, in their opinion, the future wife should correspond to. Relations between a man and a woman are always complex, so that everything goes smoothly in the family, it is important to cooperate with each other.

Knowing what an ideal wife should be like, you will learn to bypass quarrels and family troubles, and your relationship with your husband will become harmonious and warm.

Everyone knows that ideal people do not exist in nature, we create them for ourselves. Based on this, with very little effort, you can become an ideal for your loved one. What is needed for this? Become a little smarter, smarter and wiser!

Each man has his own ideal of a girl, but sociological studies show that most representatives of the stronger sex have the same ideas about what a future wife should be. First of all, they want to see a woman with certain qualities next to them.

Criteria for an ideal woman

Thinking about marriage, a young man tries to find a girl who at least a little matches his ideal female image. So, let's find out what our chosen ones expect from us!

TOP 10 qualities of an ideal wife:

A woman should love her husband. Every man wants to be loved, he expects love, affection and care from his chosen one. Show your husband that he is the most important and beloved person in your life for you, then his own self-esteem will increase, and this will definitely have a positive effect on your attitude towards you;
She must be beautiful. Of course, how can a man marry an ugly girl! However, here it should be taken into account that everyone has their own tastes and preferences, we are not talking about canonical model beauty, but rather about the personal views of your future husband. In addition, you should know that for the representatives of the stronger sex, the inner beauty of the beloved woman is no less important;
Good hostess. For your husband to carry you in his arms, it’s not enough just to be beautiful! You know how they love to eat delicious food, they also appreciate the cleanliness and order in the house, so you still need to be able to cook. Perhaps this is one of the most important criteria for what a wife should be. Undoubtedly, at the end of the working day, a man dreams of coming to a house where the table will be covered with various goodies;
The wife must be neat. You have probably heard how often women complain that their husbands left them because they stopped caring for themselves. Know: this is not a myth, but the bitter truth. No matter how painful it is to realize, but really, almost all males are interested in their chosen ones until they turn into housekeepers. At the same time, do not forget: your home should also be ideal, harmony, comfort and, of course, cleanliness and order should reign in it. It is rare for men to clean the house, but they also do not tolerate mess;
Physically healthy and bad habits. Nobody needs a sick woman - this is not an invented expression, but taken by our ancestors from their own life experience. No matter how much your husband loves you, he wants to see you absolutely healthy woman. That is why it is so important to take care of yourself from a young age!
Sexually attractive. Sex is one of the important factors for a happy family life, as many psychologists say. It is simply impossible not to agree with this statement. Your husband will be faithful to you as long as you arouse his sexual desire. If the spouse ceases to possess this quality, the man gets a passionate mistress who can give him sexual pleasure;
Respect his relatives. It's hard to find a man who will endure bad attitude to his relatives, he usually demands from his chosen one that she treat them in the same way as he does;
Know how to control your emotions. Unfortunately, we women tend to sometimes throw tantrums and act up. Learn to manage your emotions and feelings without making scandals to your husband for no good reason. Even if difficult situations arise in relationships that overwhelm you with emotions, only worsen the situation;
A real woman must be a person. Taking care of your family, creating comfort in the house, raising children, it is important not to get bogged down in these worries. You must have your own interests that will allow you to develop as a person. Many men themselves say that having a spouse work is an optional condition, but it should be interesting with her, and for this you need to develop yourself;
Be faithful. Representatives of the stronger sex appreciate in us, fragile and tender, such a quality as fidelity. Moreover, a woman should be faithful to her husband not only in body, but also in soul.

Not everyone wants to see smart wives near them, but many people want to see wise ones. A wise wife will always find the right words for her beloved, and her actions will be appropriate and correct. Femininity, tact, kindness, decency, honesty - she should also have such qualities.

In order for the spouses to have something to talk about, their interests should coincide at least a little, take this into account when choosing a life partner. In addition, in order to bind your husband to you forever, you must become his best friend, give him advice, rejoice and experience with him.

Mastering the hard science

After you already know what a man expects from his woman, you can try to become just that. True, knowing what real wives should be is not enough, in addition, not everyone can learn this. You need to try to be perfect even before marriage, so that your chosen one can recognize the ideal in you before you become his wife.

learn to cook deliciously;
always watch the house;
pay special attention to sexual life;
leave personal space for your husband;
trust your loved one completely;
take care of yourself, watch your appearance;
take an interest in his affairs at work.

In principle, we figured out what real wives should be, however, remember that this ideal largely depends on the religion of a man, do not forget about this when getting married.

Orthodox wife

If you marry a deeply religious person, you should be prepared for the fact that more serious requirements will be presented to you. What should be Orthodox wives can be found in the Bible. First of all, you need to remember that a woman should never allow herself some things - to humiliate her husband, laugh at him, flaunt and discuss with others their family relationships.

The Lord decided so, he placed the man hierarchically higher, which he must humbly put up with Orthodox woman. What other qualities should a spouse have? She must be an obedient, honest, modest, faithful assistant to her husband. You understand that in Orthodox world there can be no talk of treason, only a faithful woman can find happiness in marriage.

Is it easy to be a Muslim wife

Now Orthodox girls more and more often they marry Muslim men, adopting their religion. Many of them do not really understand what this responsible act obliges them to do. For a Muslim, it is important that his girlfriend be a virgin, in principle, they do not marry others.

Probably, the eternal dispute of men about how they see their ideal chosen one will never fade away. Every woman wants to become not just a good wife, but an ideal one. However, first you need to figure out what are the main qualities that the same perfect girl? After all, in different eras, V different countries these concepts may not coincide or even be radically different, everyone sees the ideal in their own way. There are several iron rules that every wife who wants to get closer to the ideal or become it should know and adhere to.

What a woman should be: 5 qualities of an ideal wife

An ideal is a combination of many factors that change over time. IN different times ideals were radically different, but there are several qualities that will always be relevant. Perfect wife through the eyes of a man - it's not just beautiful doll With beautiful figure and make-up, this is a combination of external and inner beauty. She should be an interesting conversationalist, partner, assistant, beautiful and well-groomed girl. Many people think that it is simply impossible to achieve all this, however, this is not so.

There are five main qualities that men value and women admire:

Wisdom. There is such wisdom that comes only with age, and some are able to develop it in themselves, and at the same time be restrained, meaningful, learn from the mistakes of others, constantly improve, develop. Such a girl will become the idol of many, and the wife will inspire her husband not bold deeds.
external data. The main thing is grooming. A man will not admire his wife with dirty head, in stretched sportswear and sloppy manicure, so external beauty is one of the main tricks and steps towards the ideal.
Thrift. A skilled housewife in the kitchen will always please a man with delicious and delicious dishes, and he will appreciate her for this, love her even more. A girl should be diversified, have time for a lot.

Support ability. Men, although they are called the stronger sex, are by no means so. They also want female warmth, attention and support, so you need to be able to cheer up in time, give strength, impetus to new achievements. A girl friend is one of the qualities that will help you get closer to the ideal.
Enthusiasm and optimism. A constantly sad, depressed spouse is unlikely to have a positive influence on her husband. The ideal wife is cheerful, cheerful, understanding humor.

Women's wisdom

There is a proverb: Ideal relationship No. Eat female wisdom not to notice men's stupidity. Maybe it's true, because wise wife- this is not only experience gained over the years, but also constant work on oneself. There are several interesting factors that will help a woman become wiser and answer the question of how to become an ideal wife.

If you graduated from Harvard (or something like that), you have best job, you know several languages, and your husband cannot boast of such skills, then you should not demonstrate and humiliate your man. wise girl never shouts about his experience, does not show off to his man.
Being a strong-willed girl, it is sometimes worth being a little weaker in front of her husband. A wise spouse will support, help in time, and when necessary, she will be a weak domestic cat.
The ability to listen and hear are the qualities of an ideal wife. Wisdom is to learn from others, to constantly develop, and for this you need to hear someone other than yourself.
The ideal representative of the weaker sex has her friends, her social circle, interests that should remain a mystery to her husband. It can be drawing, sports, learning languages and much more. Wisdom is what we learn all our lives, so you should not wait for old age to acquire one of the qualities of an ideal woman.

Grooming and sexy

Not all the qualities of an ideal woman are inside us, a big role for a man is appearance his wife. If you want your husband to be proud of you and also admire you, be always on top. In the morning it is best to wake up an hour before it rises, put yourself in order, prepare a delicious breakfast, and not sleep until last minute, and then at a gallop with an untidy haircut, sleepy eyes rushes around the apartment.

Even the most practical girls who prefer sport style clothes, must be the owners of at least a few pairs of heels. Skinny jeans, shirt and stilettos - effective method attract the attention of the opposite sex. When girls radiate sexuality, no guy can resist it. Husbands get used to seeing their wives at home, in a negligee, and if you show him a completely different side of the coin, he will appreciate such a transformation. It is important not to be afraid to be beautiful, to go for a manicure, to a beauty salon or to arrange such procedures at home.

To look perfect, attractive for your husband, throw out stretched T-shirts, bathrobes, sportswear. At home, you are the queen. Get a pair of beautiful satin shorts, T-shirts or a neat knitted dressing gown. Hair gathered in a bun is also not an ideal appearance, it is better to give preference to a neat ponytail, or buy a shell hairpin that will diversify your home hairstyle.

Good cooking and housekeeping skills

Since ancient times, a woman has been the keeper of the hearth. Much changes, but an economic wife who knows how to cook is valued at all times. An ideal woman who does not know how to cook ceases to be such in the eyes of a man. It is not at all necessary to surprise your husband with Mediterranean delights, although if you have culinary talents, then such qualities will certainly be appreciated.

The smell of a baked pie, cleanliness in the house, comfort and coziness can only be created by a woman, so in order to get one step closer to ideality, do not be lazy to take care of the house, your husband. It is important that he is always full, even if breakfast falls at 6 in the morning, therefore, in order not to torment herself with constant cooking, the ideal wife makes preparations in the evening, and in the morning it remains only to warm up.

Sharing chores around the house is also a great idea. Husband can be in charge of cooking meat dishes and do more complex cleaning to make life easier for his beloved wife. However, it is worth presenting this thought with imagination, serving it with the right sauce so that the man has no reason to refuse you.

Faith in a man, support of a spouse

The qualities of an ideal wife are also faith in her beloved man, support in difficult situations. The hugs of a beloved wife will warm and cheer up any man. To become an ideal wife, you need to understand your soulmate, be there, give compliments. Ridicule, humiliation - this is the lot weak women, but the wise act quite differently, finding a reason for praise in any event.

To be an ideal wife, one role of a mistress is not enough, you need to become a friend, buddy, ally. When a woman has something to talk about - this is good sign for a man, such women are valued, respected, and in combination with other positive qualities, they become ideal in every sense of the word. Do not be afraid to thank your husband, talk about how brave, smart and what right decisions he accepted.

Good sense of humor and optimism

Depression Bad mood, lack of a sense of humor - these qualities have never adorned any woman. An ideal wife should be cheerful, positive, understand jokes and not be offended over trifles. Sometimes you have to play along with your husband, even if you don't quite understand his humor.

men love positive women who know how to laugh, have fun and be sometimes reckless. Doing crazy things is good. Life is one - laugh, joke, love, do not let yourself get bored in each other's company. To diversify and add extreme to the relationship, do unusual surprises, arrange unexpected and non-standard holidays, original dates.

Quite often, men and women think about how a husband should treat his wife. After all, it is no secret to anyone that harmony in the family depends to a large extent on this. Yes, it is believed by many to be achieved through the behavior of a woman. But at the same time, a man should behave with dignity. Otherwise, there will be no harmony. After all, a woman is the same person. She should not tolerate bullying and disrespectful attitude towards herself. So what features should be taken into account so that the relationship between the spouses develops well?

The first and rather important point is respect. Without it, one cannot imagine normal relationship. How should a husband treat the wife he loves? Respect.

It does not mean to be henpecked at all. But a man should respect his beloved woman. It is impossible to insult, humiliate and offend, all the more, it is impossible to raise a hand against your wife. This is the height of disrespect. It is also not recommended to speak unflatteringly about the parents of the spouse.

Equally

The relationship of husband and wife is something that cannot be described briefly. Each family has its own rules of behavior and relationships. Despite this, there are still common features.

The next piece of advice is treating the woman you love as an equal. And in any situation. Usually this feature ceases to be observed when the wife goes on maternity leave and sits at home with the children without replenishing family budget. Even in this case, the husband should not reproach the woman. Spouses are equal members of the family. In any case, in Russia. This rule regulated at the legislative level. Therefore, it is worth remembering that a man and a woman in a family have equal rights. You can't hurt them.

conversations

How should a husband treat his wife? Conversations between spouses require special attention. It's no secret that women tend to communicate a lot. And men are not. They are short and to the point.

Support and sympathy

Support

home, child, entertainment

Pregnancy

respect;
attention and understanding;
equality;
manifestation of care.

According to Sharia

Bible

Among the instructions are:

How should a husband treat his wife? Conversations between spouses require special attention. It's no secret that women tend to communicate a lot. And men are not. They are short and to the point.

What's next? If a dispute arose, in no case should one stoop to humiliation. If emotions take over, you should either avoid dialogue or communicate with the woman calmly. As much as possible. Wives are emotional people. Very often they remember everything that was said by their husbands in the heat of the moment. And in the future it will play a cruel joke with a man.

Support and sympathy

How should a husband treat his wife? Women, due to the special structure of the psyche, the structure of their organisms, need sympathy and support. Especially if there are any problems. You should not immediately decide everything for a woman. First of all, you need to support her and sympathize, empathize. Both in word and deed. Show tenderness and affection when the wife needs it.

A husband is a support for a woman. Therefore, the spouse must be sure that the beloved man will be able to support her in Hard time. This is extremely important. Maybe for a husband, sympathy and empathy are not so significant. But for the wife - quite. A marriage in which a girl does not have support from her beloved man is doomed. Most likely, she will start looking for her on the side.

Support

How should a husband treat his wife? It has already been said that a man is a support for a woman. The head of the family, the "stone wall" that protects from troubles and dangers. This is the behavior of a real man.

The most important thing is that there really is support. And that it was not an illusion based on words. A beloved wife should feel safe with a man. Then she will be able to give her affection and love to her husband. Only in this case, harmonious relations are possible.

Unfortunately, now the trend is such that wives begin to take on some of the male duties, and it is not possible to rely on the spouse. As a result, internal family problems arise that cannot be solved in any way. loving husband- This reliable protection and support for women. A person who gives confidence in the future.

home, child, entertainment

It has already been said that spouses in marriage should be on an equal footing. Now some specifics. Quite often, after the wedding, the beloved wife begins to serve her husband, takes care of the house, life, and family. IN modern world women, as already mentioned, often work to help their husband provide for the family. And then they take over the "second shift" - they do household chores.

Such a phenomenon is detrimental to relationships. How should a husband treat his wife? Help with the baby and around the house. Give the woman time for herself. And if the husband rests from time to time (for example, once a week he goes fishing), then the wife is entitled to a similar day of rest. This is especially true when both work. It is unfair if after labor day the husband sits down to play at the computer while the wife cleans, does laundry, cooks, does homework with the children, and so on.

In other words, there should be mutual assistance and mutual understanding in the family. Of course, every good husband must remember his male duties. And don't involve your wife in them. If it so happened that, for some life circumstances, a woman began to perform male functions, part female husband takes on himself. This is a guarantee of equality and successful relationship, harmony in the cell of society.

Pregnancy

Very often people are interested in how a husband should treat a pregnant wife. After all, during this period, a woman's body is rebuilt. Someone becomes calm, someone becomes an unbearable hysteric. How to behave?

Pregnancy is not a disease. This should be remembered. But, as many say, it's easier to go to work with a cold. It should be remembered that during pregnancy a woman is most vulnerable. Therefore, it is recommended to be patient and not react violently to emotional changes.
Again, pregnancy is not a disease. Shaking over your wife, as over a crystal vase, is not necessary. But it is worth listening to the requests of a woman in a position.
Support and attention is what a pregnant woman needs. If the wife asks to go for an ultrasound and look at the baby, it is better for the husband to agree. And show interest in the unborn child. The woman will be pleased.
Tantrums and strange desires wives are temporary. They, as already mentioned, must be endured. In no case do not threaten with a divorce, do not leave the girl "in position" alone.
Less stress. A woman whom a man loves needs to be protected from any trouble during pregnancy. After all, your baby's health depends on it!

All these tips will help a man to show himself as a loving and attentive person. Of course, all other features should not be forgotten either. Basically, the key to success is:

respect;
attention and understanding;
equality;
ignoring some female emotional outbursts;
manifestation of care.

According to Sharia

Most of the peoples of the world have specific guidelines for how a husband should treat his wife. This normal phenomenon. What can Biblical stories, for example, as well as Muslim traditions offer?

According to Sharia, a man should be guided by the following advice:

Communicate with your wife on an equal footing and do not prohibit everything that Sharia permits.
Tolerate insults that a woman says. Do not respond to her aggression. Condescendingly treat your beloved during quarrels.
To please the wife, to make laugh and entertain. But at the same time, it is important to maintain harmony, to remain an authority for the girl.
Keep a woman. It is necessary. A husband who does not support his beloved is a disgrace to the family. At the same time, the money a wife earns is her money. She has the right to spend them as she sees fit.
A disobedient woman (who does not follow Shariah) is worth educating. It is not allowed to hit hard, in extreme cases and not in the face.
All wives are treated equally. This applies to both provision and attention.
Protect and protect a woman who is a wife. Protect where it is not prohibited by Shariah.
If, then you should not show your dismissive attitude. Humiliate, offend, insult, beat - too. It is customary for Muslims to treat women with respect.

Bible

What are some tips for male behavior in the family can be identified from the Bible? To be honest, the instructions are somewhat similar. What does the Bible say? How should a husband treat his wife?

Among the instructions are:

A manifestation of firmness of character and at the same time tenderness for his wife.
Beloved woman must be constantly praised, admired. Then the girl will improve.
Be equal. Family is equality. It is required to yield to each other, to help.
Don't criticize your wife. A woman who is next to a man is the choice of the head of the family. There is no need to criticize the weaker sex.
Remember the importance of the little things.
Don't ignore a woman's need to be close to a man. Attention beloved should be given in the first place.
Satisfy the needs of his wife, treat mood swings with understanding.

There is an old Russian proverb: good husband and the bad bird is the queen. And the bad and the figure is a fool.

All of the above tips, if followed, will provide a woman with comfort, tranquility and coziness. The girl will gladly satisfy the desires of her husband. Therefore, it is important to understand that harmony in the family depends not only on wives. If a man behaves with dignity, then there will be an appropriate couple next to him!

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Father Oleg Molenko

Instructions to Husband and Wife on Their Rights and Responsibilities in a Genuine Christian Marriage

God bless!
Life itself, its unexpected turns, events, incidents and our reaction to them often put before people living in a Christian marriage a series of important issues, without the charitable permission of which life in marriage is doomed to torment, and marriage itself to destruction.
We must first establish firm foundations for marriage and relationships within it. These foundations are established on the commandments of the Lord, the instructions of Scripture and the teaching of the Church of Christ. At the same time, we must know that all types of relationships that occur in marriage need our understanding and skillful use in order to overcome all the dangers that rise up against marriage.
First of all, we must know that the very institution of marriage comes from God. God created the male and female sexes so that the representatives of these sexes would marry and cleave to each other. This is why marriage is based on three pillars:
on faith in God;
in obedience to His word (commandments);
on the indissolubility of marriage (fidelity).

Matthew 19:
4 He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who made male and female in the first place created them?
5 And he said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh,
6 so that they are no longer two, but one flesh. So what God has joined together, let no man separate.
From these words of Christ God, it is very important for us to understand the following truths for ourselves:
God created man and woman, and He created them as equal partners for marriage union;
Marriage and the creation of a new family on its basis prevail over the ties of persons entering into marriage with their parents. To new family appeared and stood, it is imperative to leave the old one, where the bride and groom were as children;
God does not point to any union in marriage, but to the clinging of the husband to the wife and their union into one flesh. It is the husband who must cleave to his wife and keep this clinging;
Since the Lord God Himself combines people in a marriage union, He requires the indissolubility of the marriage union on the part of a person.

A marriage union can break up through the fault of people if at least one pillar holding the marriage is knocked out by their actions.
A marriage breaks up if one or both parties to the marriage union betray God and lose faith in Him;
A marriage is destroyed if one or two people who have entered into it cease to obey God and fulfill His commandments and will;
Marriage is destroyed even by a single betrayal with another person of the spouse, i.e. the sin of her adultery, or the adulterous way of life of the spouse (a one-time betrayal of the husband, healed by repentance and correction, does not destroy the marriage).
Mt.19, 9:“But I say to you, whoever divorces his wife not for adultery, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
It is impossible to divorce a wife except for the guilt of adultery on her part, betrayal of faith in God, or betrayal of obedience to the commandments and will of God.
It is not permissible for a husband to marry another woman after divorcing his first wife for any other reason than the above.
It is impossible to marry a divorced woman for the three reasons mentioned above, communicated to us by God Himself through His revelation in the Holy Scriptures.
The Holy Church of Christ points out some technical features, due to which a marriage can be dissolved by it.
One of the reasons for such termination may be the clarification of the fact that the spouses were in close blood relationship, but did not know this.
The second reason for the dissolution of a marriage by the Church can be the incurable barrenness found in one of the spouses. In relation to a barren spouse, God's commandment about the indissolubility of marriage is not applied. The term for infertility testing established by the Church is a minimum of three calendar years(or more). If after three years (or more, up to seven years) one of the spouses is unable to conceive a child due to infertility discovered in the marriage, then at the insistence of the other spouse who wants to have children, the marriage is dissolved. If the spouses agree to live without their children, then the marriage is saved. A subsequent change in the desire of a healthy spouse to terminate the marriage due to the infertility of the second half is no longer acceptable. The decision to dissolve a marriage due to infertility should be made by a healthy spouse on time (i.e. starting from three and within seven years). The right to leave a marriage with a barren spouse can be used by a healthy spouse only once, i.e. if during seven years of joint marital life (the years of the husband or wife's stay in the war, on a campaign or in prison may not be taken into account), the right to leave the marriage has not been used, then it loses its force.
The third reason why the Church can divorce spouses is the discovery of the fact that one of the spouses constantly terrorizes his half or inclines her to commit grave sins, such as, for example, theomachism, kingship, witchcraft, murder, theft, robbery or robbery, sexual perversion, child molestation, drug or alcohol abuse, etc. In all these cases, the decision is made by the church court upon receipt of irrefutable evidence of the guilt of one of the spouses.
Persons whose marriage was annulled by the Church above given reasons(except those accused of crimes) are entitled to remarry with the blessing of the Church.
Last possible cause termination of marriage is the death of one of the spouses. A widow or widower has the right to remarry.
Roman 7:
2 Married woman bound by law to a living husband; and if the husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.
3 Therefore, if she marries another while her husband is alive, she is called an adulteress; but if the husband dies, she is free from the law, and will not be an adulteress by marrying another husband.
The third entry into marriage of one of the spouses is allowed by indulgence to the extreme infirmity of such a person. Such a marriage is considered shameful and is not married, but is formed only by the blessing of the Church through the hierarch. Church penance is imposed on persons who have entered into marriage for the third time or have entered into marriage for the first or second time, but with a person who has previously been married twice.
The creation of a marriage must be taken most seriously and therefore, first of all, one must pray for the gift of one's spouse (wife) for salvation. In addition, the candidacy of the spouse (spouse) should be investigated for possible severe consequences hanging on him (her) due to birth damage or personal sinful life before marriage. Those who wish to marry must tell each other the whole truth about themselves, whatever it may be.
The aggravation of the marriage may subsequently be affected by such facts that took place in the life of one or both spouses:
Disbelief or false belief of the genus;
Grave and mortal sins that were in the family;
Demon communication that took place in the family or in the person entering into marriage;
The dissolute life before marriage and the practice of sexual perversion;
Committing homicide or infanticide in the womb;
The presence in the family of suicides, parricides, fratricides, regicides, church destroyers, heresiarchs, blasphemers, blasphemers, sorcerers, rebels, theomachists, perfidious people, etc.;
The presence of severe hereditary diseases or curses.

If by the grace of God the marriage took place and the newly appeared husband and wife began to live in the union of peace, harmony and love, then through the envy of demons and evil people, as well as due to the weakness and inexperience of the spouses themselves, marriages begin to occur various voltages and conflicts that, left unhealed, can lead to the worst and saddest fruits.
That's why it's good for strengthening a marriage besides making church sacrament Get the following support:
Enlist the blessing of parents from the husband and wife (if possible). It is not necessary that the parents be members of the Church or have a common faith with the children;
Have a husband and wife the same spiritual father or confessor, with whom both confess and resolve all emerging issues and conflicts;
To have friendship with a good, persistent, friendly and experienced family.

In married life, the following layers or types of relationships take place:
sojourn;
Human communication;
Conjugal love and consent;
Family world;
sexual intercourse;
Sexual dissatisfaction of one of the spouses;
Pressure from one of the spouses;
Tension in relations between spouses;
Blackmail by one of the spouses;
Conflict between spouses;
Contradictions and disagreements among the spouses;
Misunderstanding between spouses, loss of like-mindedness and unanimity;
Distrust and suspicion between spouses;
Painful jealousy of one of the spouses;
Loneliness together;
material and life difficulties;
Disagreements in relation to children and their upbringing;
Vampirism of one of the spouses;
The slave position of the wife;
The henpecked position of the husband;
Relationships out of humanity;
Callousness and ignorance;
Relationship disorder;
Rejection between spouses;
Cooling of relations and mutual love;
Hatefulness by his wife;
The alienation of a husband or wife (when you feel your spouse or spouse is a stranger);
The collapse of marriage and family.

As we can see, most of the above types of relationships are negative and can serve to aggravate relations between spouses. That is why both spouses need and must constantly fight to save their marriage and overcome all the negative aspects that arise in their relationship. You need to master the art of overcoming conflict.
Both spouses should always remember that we do not live in paradise, that our earthly life is short-lived, that the spouse (wife) is an imperfect person, surrounded by his weaknesses and passions. We must remember that we are in constant war with demons, fighting with our sinful passions, evil inclinations and harmful habits. We must help each other in this struggle, and not fight each other.
It is impossible, on the basis of the words of Scripture that a wife should be afraid of her husband and obey in everything, make her her slave and satisfy her passions and lusts. If the husband is likened to Christ in relationships, then the wife is likened to the Church. The Church is not a slave of Christ, but His pure and holy Bride, whom He loves, cares for, protects, guards and communicates everything necessary.
If a husband behaves towards his wife as Christ towards the Church, then the wife must obey such a husband and obey him in everything that concerns his power or common affairs. She should be afraid of upsetting her husband or losing his favor or himself. If a husband behaves differently from Christ in relation to the Church, then he does not rise to his status as a husband and therefore cannot demand unquestioning obedience and obedience from his wife in everything. So, the whole concern of a husband is not to leave his status, to love and provide everything necessary for his wife and his children.
It is a great and harmful mistake on the part of a husband when, by his autocracy, he deprives his wife of her intra-family inheritance, in which she has freedom and respite from possible pressure from his side. It is impossible to leave a wife without such a female area of \u200b\u200bit. It is impossible for a husband to interfere with his opinion and desire in women's and maternal affairs without extreme need. In her women's area, the wife should be free and take full responsibility for the well-being and order in her area.
The purely female and maternal areas include:
Kitchen and cooking for the family;
The female part of marital (sexual) relations (i.e., the wife has the right to demand from her husband that he fulfill his marital duties and satisfy her in this part of the relationship);
Cleaning, cleanliness, neatness, decoration and decoration (design) in the house;
Laundry, repair and production of clothes;
Maternal care for bearing a fetus, feeding and raising a baby (up to 6 years old);
Caring for a sick husband and sick children;
The female part of the work of receiving guests and preparing for holidays and family celebrations.

The husband, according to the needs and request of his wife, can help with his participation in the female part, but do everything according to the decision and discretion of the wife. He should not impose anything of his own on her in this area, but only humbly ask, for example, to cook this and that.
A serious mistake of a husband is his inattention to the sexual satisfaction of his wife. Selfishness in this matter on the part of the husband not only puts the wife in a painful position, but also provokes her to detach from him and cling to another man who satisfies her female needs to the fullest. The apostle Paul was preoccupied with this problem of the families under his care. Here is how he instructed them in this important matter:
1 Corinthians 7:
2 But, in order to avoid fornication, each one should have his own wife, and each one should have her own husband.
3 Husband show his wife due favor; like a wife to her husband.
4 The wife has no power over her own body, but the husband; likewise, the husband has no power over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deviate from each other, except by agreement, for a time, for the exercise of fasting and prayer, and then be together again, so that Satan does not tempt you with your intemperance.
6 However, I said this as a permission, and not as a command.
If the husband does not need to intrude into purely women's area, then the wife should not do it all the more, i.e. intrude into a purely male area. The wife should be content with the fact that the husband deigns to tell her about his affairs and not to extort more. Faith and complete trust in the husband in his affairs are great advantage for a wise wife.
It is a harmful mistake on the part of a wife to humiliate her husband's manhood. It's bad when it happens alone with him, it's even worse when it happens in front of children, and it's really bad when it happens in front of strangers.
In no case should a wife reproach her husband for the fact that he earns little and cannot provide her and the children with what they want. It is also impossible to reproach your husband for his infirmities and shortcomings.
The big mistake is the quarrelsome wife. Being a “saw” wife is unacceptable for a Christian woman. If there is such a quality, then it must be decisively eradicated by repentance and prayer, as well as by careful observation of oneself and restraining oneself. The control of the tongue is very important for the wife, for the unbridled tongue of the wife can bring much harm to the husband and the whole family.
A common mistake is a wife whining and complaining about life and worldly troubles in front of her husband. If this attitude continues long time, then it can turn into so-called "vampirism", when, through whining and complaints from the passion of self-pity, the wife begins to "feed" imperceptibly for herself vitality husband and get used to it. Thus a wife can keep her husband depressed or sick state, and even just bring to the grave. The second way of such recharge is a conflict or quarrel arranged by the wife for her husband, which most often happens over completely unimportant trifles or far-fetched nit-picking. Demons are immediately added to the beginning of a quarrel and inflate it to a great conflict and enmity. Many sins are committed by spouses during such a conflict. Husband and wife verbally abuse each other, yell at each other, wish each other harm, threaten, or even curse in the heat of the moment. Often one of them expresses regret that he got married or got married. Added to this is the threat of filing for divorce and leaving home. Sometimes the wife begins defiantly to collect her things or her husband's things in order to put them out the door. Christians should never be allowed to do this.
It is unacceptable to humiliate the parents of a husband (or wife) in a verbal skirmish, no matter what they are in life and no matter how they relate to your family.
A big problem for any wife is the so-called female slyness. This is such an evil quality that it and the wicked wife are specifically mentioned in the Holy Scriptures. A Christian wife must fight in every possible way with her craftiness and eradicate it in herself until it disappears completely. You must counter your cunning with silence in your mind, humility, simplicity, quietness and patience. These virtues, together with repentance and prayer, will not even leave a trace of guile.
Out of her cunning, a wife often allows blackmail against her husband. Thus, she tries to get from him what she wants and what he does not provide her. The objects of blackmail can be their own children, preventing the husband from conjugal intercourse, refusing to support an important matter for the husband, which depends on the wife, and much more.
A wife should not deny her husband his desire to be with her. If there is a good reason (for example, illness or extreme fatigue) that does not allow the wife to admit her husband to her, then she should calmly explain everything to him and ask him to be patient until her full recovery. Frequent and unreasonable refusals of a wife in marital intercourse can provoke her husband to look for satisfaction on the side. This also applies to the husband. Here, both husband and wife should well remember the words of the Apostle Paul, that each of them does not control his own body in this respect, but yields it to his spouse.
However, a wife can push her husband to the side not only by refusing to marital relations. Such factors can be, for example, the lack of affection, tenderness, attention, responsiveness, warmth of attitude and other things on her part towards her husband, from which home comfort and comfort are created for her husband. The wife is simply obliged to create such an atmosphere of warmth and comfort in the house so that the husband is always drawn to his house and to her. To do this, it is important for her to take care of herself, maintain neatness in the house and cook well, varied and tasty. The looseness of speech, the unattractive appearance of the wife, the untidiness of her hair and clothes, bad smell from the mouth or from the body, harshness towards the husband all this contributes to his cooling towards his wife.
A wife should always be friendly, modest, caring, attentive, laconic, kind, sincere, humble and obedient to her husband.
A great evil in the relationship of spouses is the wife's attempt to lead and manage her husband. In the people, such a situation is called "holding the husband under the heel." Such a situation not only humiliates the husband, but also the wife herself, and acts destructively on this family.
Both husband and wife should know and remember that the main source of any temptation or disturbance of the world that arises between them is demons.
You should know that it very rarely happens that God allows demons to attack both husband and wife at the same time. Most often, demons are allowed to attack one of them. That is why, if a husband or wife notices that the behavior of the second half has become abnormal (for example, the person became excited, angry, raised his voice, began to scream, swear, find fault, etc.), then you need to realize that the demons attacked your second half. half and loved one. Realizing this, one should act correctly, because the task of demons is to try through the spouse (wife) involved in them to involve the spouse (spouse) in a quarrel and conflict. The spouse (spouse) who has not yet been involved by demons must prevent this and immediately begin to resolutely fight for his wife (spouse). It is necessary to fight not with a person who has fallen under the influence of demons, but with the demons themselves. That is why it is important for an uninvolved spouse (wife) not to respond with causticity to the causticity of the spouse (spouse), to her (his) slander, insults and other bad actions and words, but instead immediately start praying for the spouse. If you answer your wife (husband), then very gently, gently, with unfeigned love and humility, realizing that now you are talking not so much with your wife (husband), as with her (his) spiritual illness (or demons). Humility and earnest prayer for an agitated spouse will surely bring good fruit. God's help will surely come, and the demons will be forced to retreat. Then you will again find your husband (wife) as he (she) usually is. This is how a real victory is achieved over the demons, who are trying in every possible way to bring discord into any friendly family.
Without sacrifice, without concessions to each other, without speedy reconciliation by asking forgiveness from each other, neither husband nor wife will be able to overcome the enemies of our salvation that are at war with us.
Compliance, willingness to give in, the mood for compliance is an excellent quality and a reliable tool that allows you to resolve many conflicts that begin between spouses at their very beginning.
It is impossible to yield only in regard to God, faith, the Church, and the work of salvation. Otherwise, it is better to infringe on yourself, if only to maintain peace and harmony in the family.
If misfortune happens and the husband (wife) becomes ill or injured, then the wife (husband) is obliged not only to take care of the speedy recovery of a loved one, but also to take on those household duties that were performed by the disabled spouse.
It is absolutely unacceptable for a husband and wife to be beaten. If any fundamental disagreement really arises, then you should immediately turn to your confessor for help.
The presence of children in the family imposes additional obligations on the husband and wife in relation to them.
It is unacceptable for one of the spouses to humiliate the other spouse in the presence of children. Children easily pick up on this disrespect and often begin to use the opposition of their parents for their own purposes.
It is unacceptable for children to fight, swear and insult each other. It is unacceptable for a husband and wife to say anything contrary to their children in the presence of their children. Parents should always appear before their children with one mind and one mind in everything. Husband and wife are obligated to support each other with respect to each of their children. Disagreement between parents, and even more so quarrels and hostility between them, will have the worst effect on the upbringing of their children. Children should grow up in an atmosphere family world, consent, unanimity, unanimity, love, tenderness, affection and friendliness. Severity towards children and their punishment should take place according to need. Punishment must always be supported by two parents. It must be balanced, measured and fair. Nothing weighs down the soul of a child so much as unjust punishment by his parents. When punishing a child, the father or mother must explain to him the reason for this punishment and what they require from him. At the same time, they should punish the child not out of a state of anger and irritation, but be calm and testify to their love for the punished child.
It is unacceptable for a father or mother to walk naked in front of their young child of any gender, and even more so to let him see the act of their marital copulation. Father and mother should in every possible way support the authority of each other and respect for each of them in their children.
Parents should be able to distinguish in their children the causes of their excitement or any abnormal behavior. Must distinguish natural causes(such as sickness, pain, or indisposition) from demonic influence. In the case of the latter, appropriate means should be taken - prayer for the child, making the sign of the cross over him, sprinkling him and giving him holy water to drink, anointing him with consecrated oil, applying a cross to him or shrines in the house. In serious and protracted cases, one should turn to his spiritual father for help, asking him to perform the rite of proofreading or a suitable prayer service for his child, as well as a special commemoration at the liturgy.
A very powerful, strong, effective and fruitful means of helping your child is reading the Jesus Prayer over him. To do this, you should sit comfortably yourself and plant (put) the child so that you can put both of your hands on his head. If there are two children, then each of them can lay his hand on. At all little baby you can just keep it on hand. It is good to moisten your palms with baptismal holy water before this and let them dry. Prayer should be read aloud, in a calm voice and measured soothing tone. There are two versions of the Jesus Prayer:
“G.I.H.S.B. have mercy on us";
“G.I.H.S.B. have mercy on the baby (lad) Name (i.e., the name of the child is called).

Any version of this prayer (I personally prefer the first one for its brevity and coverage of all family members) should be pronounced with attention and contrition at least 1000 times.
This remedy is so powerful, holy and unique that it can not only remove any damage or demonic action from a child, but heal an ailment, calm nerves, eliminate excitement, improve memory, understanding, mental capacity, ability to successful study and much more. If you do not spare time for prayer for your child and add to 1-1.5 thousand Jesus prayers at least 300-500 prayers "Our Father" and the same number of "Hail to the Mother of God Virgin", then this remedy can be miraculous. With it, you can save your child from the evil eye, chronic spoilage, current illness, disorders in his body, reduce high temperature and equalize blood pressure. For example, unpleasant warts, papillomas and other unhealthy formations on the skin can go away. Wounds and burns can heal quickly and well, tumors go away, bumps, bruises and swelling go away. In any case, such a reading of these prayers over your child will only benefit him and you yourself. Work on calling on the Name of God, and It will work on improving your child's condition.
End of this work and glory to our God!