The relationship with his sister is not getting along. Family and Relationships How to build relationships with your brother and sister

Quarrels between elders and younger children in the family, both the disputants themselves and the parents are exhausted. How to behave when the closest people are almost fighting? Reasons for a quarrel

The relationship of parents with their brothers and sisters is undoubtedly reflected in the relationship between children in the family. She tried to retroactively fix her life. As a result, my cousins don't talk to each other anymore."

Parents have a lot of trouble delivering quarrels between children - brothers and sisters. If there are two or more children in the family, conflicts. Therefore, parents should not underestimate quarrels between children and try to find ways to help improve relationships

“I hate Natasha, she ruined my whole life!”, “Earring is my mother’s favorite, he is always the best, and I only reproaches and complaints.” It is difficult to imagine how many claims to each other the brothers and sisters have. Is it possible to fix something? Or is it easier to keep the interaction to a minimum?

It would seem that it could be easier - do not communicate, and that's it. Good times when you shared by two desk and candy, long gone. But when we are talking O blood relatives, everything is somewhat more complicated. And it is difficult to completely break off a relationship for a number of reasons:

stereotypes and public opinion: “blood is not water”, “relatives should stay close” and other maxims are very tenacious, it is difficult to resist them; clan of relatives: if you live close to each other, you will have to meet at family celebrations. If far away - to solve the issue of caring for elderly parents; internal attitudes: far from everyone can let go of the situation. Haven't seen each other for 20 years, but each New Year remember that your sister on this holiday got more gifts? Relationships are not over.

And the question arises: how to be? Take five steps towards each other. Five steps that, if not turn you into loving relatives, then at least get rid of negativity in communication. And the psychologist Tatyana Gorbacheva will help us with this.

“You have such a close relationship, it’s just amazing! Your son talks to you like a friend!” These enthusiastic words of a colleague puzzled Julia. “I told her that my son sent me an interesting lecture “for inspiration”. I was pleased that she reacted like that, I felt proud. But the word "girlfriend" caused a protest in me. I'm a mom, not a girlfriend! But at the same time, we are really friendly ... “Does distance bring you closer?” “I want us to be friends,” parents say all the time, especially, perhaps, mothers. Friendship with a grown child for many is a matter of pride, one of the indicators of successful parenthood.

In childhood, quarrels between siblings are by no means uncommon and are even the norm. But when conflicts continue into adulthood, it can become a serious problem. How to stop fighting? How to build a relationship with a brother or sister?

Many people who have brothers or sisters seek to communicate with them even after they reach adulthood. Therefore, one day even siblings, who have been very friendly all their lives, can quarrel. It is important to know how to improve relations with a sister or brother: this

Step one: grow up

Many sibling conflicts (children of the same parents) come from childhood. The reasons may be different. For example, wrong upbringing when parents clearly singled out one child, making him a favorite.

There is an opinion that sometimes dad or mom subconsciously cultivate rivalry and jealousy, working off their own injuries: “You see how hard it is to be the oldest! I was also scolded all the time for quarrels with my brother!”

Or the wrong arrangement of roles: for example, a mother forced her teenage daughter to sit with her baby, she believes that she was deprived of her childhood because of her brother. Or one child was often sick, and the parents forced the healthy one to constantly make concessions, sacrifice their interests.

But you've grown up. And you can build relationships without looking back at your own childhood. Look at your brother or sister from the perspective of an adult. It doesn't matter who ate someone else's ice cream 20 years ago. What is this person now? Why is it difficult for you to communicate?

I often meet people who are unsure whether they should continue their relationship with a partner. Recently, a friend shared: “Only when my beloved and I are together, I feel our connection. If he is not around, I don’t know if he needs our relationship and how exactly he spends his time. I try to talk to him about it, but it only angers him. He thinks I'm exaggerating and I need to be more confident." Another patient confesses: “We have been married for three years and I love my wife. But she does not allow me to be myself: to pursue my hobbies and spend time alone with friends. I constantly have to think about how my wife will react to this, whether it will upset her.

“I hate Natasha, she ruined my whole life!”, “Earring is my mother’s favorite, he is always the best, but I only reproaches and complaints.” It is difficult to imagine how many claims to each other the brothers and sisters have. Is it possible to fix something?

Should I build relationships with a brother or sister if they didn’t work out in the first place? But you've grown up. And you can build relationships without looking back at your own childhood. Look at your brother or sister from the perspective of an adult.

Step two: acknowledge the problem

Yes, your relationship is far from those that are found in movies and books about big friendly family. Yes, you are offended by a brother or sister for indifference or consumer relations. Or maybe you had a serious conflict, you can not forgive him? But after all, the second participant in the drama has his grievances. What is the brother dissatisfied with, what is the sister offended by? Are they ready to talk and get closer?

Step Three: Get Realistic

Native blood, of course, is important. But how close and interesting is the person with whom you had a common childhood?

If your views and interests are very different, it is unlikely that the relationship will turn into friendship. As for serious protracted conflicts and burning hatred, the sooner you deal with them, the better. After all, anger corrodes us from the inside and prevents us from living. And if you are unable to change a bad brother or a selfish sister, then you can try to change your own attitude. Sometimes it's easier to do with a psychologist.

Nothing of value can be obtained without effort. The more we invest in relationships, the more successful they will be for us. Just five steps will help make them happy. © Getty Images 5 Steps to Better Relationships 1. Express GratitudeOne of the better ways strengthen relationships with a partner, relative or friend - do not hesitate to express your gratitude to this person. This is not about the usual polite "thank you" for something that was given to you or done for you. True gratitude is a deep appreciation for what this person present in your life.

How to build a relationship with your sister. A sister is much more than a friend. The connection we make with her goes way beyond family relations. Just as children are not copies of their parents, siblings can be completely different.

There are many ways to improve your relationship with your siblings if you feel you are not close enough to them. The effort will pay off, I assure you. Below I will describe 7 tricks that will help you solve this problem.

Step four: be patient

We talked, repented and sobbed on each other's chest - this is often found in melodramas and rarely in reality. Get ready for unpleasant conversations, pulling skeletons out of closets, new conflicts. If you do not feel the strength for this or want to make peace "for show", it is better not to start. Do not take on too much: success also depends on the second participant in this relationship. Otherwise, it will turn out to be a one-sided game, in which new offenses cannot be avoided.

Step Five: Draw Borders

Having reconciled, you seem to start a relationship with clean slate. But so that everything does not return to normal, it is worth remembering how you ended up in such a dead end, and in the future try not to make such mistakes. Decide what you are ready to forgive your sister or brother, and what you consider unacceptable. State your views: this will save you from a new conflict better than hints and guesses.

How to get over a relationship breakup: 5 steps
Think about it, would you be who you are if you were always happy? Most likely, now you think that the question sounds mocking. It is unbearably hard for you, and you think that this pain will not leave you. Over time, when you overcome the feeling of loss, you realize that you were able to withstand emotionally, became more confident. And if other difficulties and losses appear on your way, you will be psychologically ready for them. STEP # 2 The end of a relationship is not your defeat after losing a relationship.

Hello, I have a very complicated, incomprehensible relationship with sister. I am 38 years old, married, have two children, and my sister is 36, no husband, no children, lives with her mother. She had an unsuccessful marriage, ended in divorce. Maybe everything would have gotten better for them, but my mother saw her sister's husband as an unworthy person, a lazy person, indifferent, and under her mother's influence, the sister divorced her husband. And now she seems to be afraid to build new relationships, she says that she doesn’t need it, it’s so good next to her mother, she will wash, and cook, and sympathize, everything is fine with her mother, tandem, they consult on everything, solve problems together. But with all this, and probably so as not to worry her mother once again with some problems, the sister "pours out her soul" to a stranger, the so-called friend, who is 15 years older than her sister and who has a lot of her own problems that she can not solve in any way. Looks like I found soul mate. My sister doesn’t tell me anything, maybe she doesn’t want to burden me with her problems, maybe she doesn’t trust me. Although we, before my marriage, had normal relationship. Now we don’t even go anywhere together, neither for a walk, nor for a cafe, like, for example, two girlfriends. Either she doesn’t want this at all, it’s not interesting, or she doesn’t want to leave her mother alone at home. And with their mother, they go shopping very amicably and sometimes travel. When I once spoke about friendly communication with my sister, she answered me: and what should I do to make it as you want. Those. Turns out she doesn't need it. She is my younger sister, but sometimes it seems to me that she and my mother are our common mother, reasonable, abstruse, although she can only advise me how to communicate with my children, and then sometimes. But she protects her mother, protects her, even from me. My sister never helps to establish relations with my mother during quarrels, she takes the side of my mother and only I am to blame for all the disagreements. He tells me: talk to your mother directly, you don’t need to interfere with me. Even with acquaintances, friends, my sister's relationship is better than with me. Maybe she is angry with me in her heart that I "betrayed" her by getting married, having children, and now she lives alone with her mother, lives the life of her mother. I'm kind of stressed about relationships like this. want to talk, to discuss something, and just to chat like a girl, but we are moving further and further away from each other. Mom says that they have their own family, I have my own, so go everywhere with your husband. They believe and are sure that they have no problems in their relationship with me, but I have and I need to see a psychologist. Although both sides are to blame for the conflicts, but here I get only me. It is impossible to talk heart to heart at once, everything is perceived with hostility and they shut me up. On the one hand, I kind of want to improve relations, but for some reason only I want this, and on the other hand, I think that I need to live with my family and just sometimes meet with my mother and sister, without delving into their problems, life. It even seems to me that my mother sets her sister up for negativity towards me, she is against me and my husband very offended for any reason, and the fact that, as it seems to her, we are not engaged in raising children, and that we do not help either physically or financially. And when we offer help, she says that nothing is needed. Considers us ungrateful in everything, mother sometimes fiddles with eldest granddaughter. He says that give me a granddaughter to raise, and sometimes even threatens that he will take her away, depriving us of parental rights. These are all my relatives and my mother and sister, and now we are like strangers. Can't get it right at all a good relationship.

Difficult relationship with sister and mother

Hello Valeria.
You are already all adults, everyone has their own life and you need to intervene and help only when they ask for help. Yes, I understand you love your family and want to be closer to them, but as they say, the farther the closer. You have to accept them for who they are. Your sister wants to live with her mother, this is Her choice. Often we help our relatives with our understanding and belief that everything will be as it is best for them.
Seraphim of Sarov said / Save yourself and thousands will be saved. /
Changing someone's life is not possible, and not right. We can only change ourselves.
It is possible and necessary to meet with our relatives, come to visit each other, but at the same time not violate their personal space. Talk about general topics, do nice things for them. At the same time, without imposing your opinion.
Treat your sister and mother with love and understanding, do not react to their grievances, and everything will work out.
I wish you joy and good luck. Sincerely, psychologist Valentina Veklich.

One of the studies of psychologists showed that the parents of two daughters consider themselves the happiest. Positive aspects Such parenting is called greater mutual understanding between children and parents, more common games among children and fewer quarrels between them. But the parents of 4 daughters are considered the most unfortunate. Yet many parents of even two daughters admit that friendship between sisters remains only their cherished, parental dream.

Why real friendship between sisters Is it that difficult? There are many reasons for this.

Firstly, psychologists are convinced that the bright, endless friendship between sisters is just one of the most common myths of public consciousness. In fact, in these respects, competition is more natural.

Every child strives to remain the most important thing for their parents. This will be especially acute in the case of the birth of a second sister before the first sister completes the age of narcissism, when the child considers himself the center of the world, the most wonderful being. In narcissism, the child only demands a variety of goods. Until the end of this period, he cannot be grateful, take into account the interests and desires of others. Therefore, if the sister appeared during the narcissistic period of the first sister, then the elder sister will begin to compensate for her own “inferiority”, elevate herself and belittle her sister with the most different ways. The release of aggression, self-affirmation, the construction of self-confidence and the devaluation of a sister will often occur through slander, denigration of her virtues and actions.

Such hostility may be unconscious. Anthropologists and evolutionists are convinced that talking nasty things about others is a habit from the prehistoric past of the genus Homo sapiens. This approach was used for competition in a flock. In addition, slander is the desire to unite in one flock with those who are told negative things about a competitor. Thus, the child also tries to get closer to his parents, denigrating his sister.

What should parents do? Exposing the gossip, clarifying the relationship can only inflame the confrontation between the "slanderer" and the "victim". The situation could get out of control. Tell the sister who is trying to denigrate her sister that you are hurt by these words (tell about your feelings, about the feelings that her sister may have), do not try to rebuke, but make every effort to resolve the situation. The unachieved planned result may reduce the desire of the child to repeat this “trick”.

Sometimes parents also create competition with their own comparisons of sisters, especially in public. By the way, girls can have much more such obvious reasons for comparison than between boys or children of different sexes. One of the hottest competitive topics will always be appearance. Avoid comparisons, especially in front of others.

By the way, girls' self-image will largely be formed precisely on the basis of their place in relation to their sister (who is more beautiful, who is smarter, who is neater, etc.). It is important to maintain the self-esteem of both girls at a decent level. It is worth making it clear that each girl has her own individual merits and comparison is simply impossible.

Secondly, regardless of gender, enmity between children is being prepared even before the birth of a second child. The distance between the first child and mother is increasing. She feels worse, you can’t just jump into her arms because of her growing belly, she is often not in the mood. Not only is the child closed the usual way to communicate with his mother, but the elder is also “pleased” with the prospect of a competitor for the mother’s love with the requirement to love this fact unconditionally.

With the advent of the youngest daughter, pressure may also begin on the eldest ("no matter how much she hurts something"), or simply there is a desire to drive away from the baby ("no matter what happens"). At the same time, traditions to honor older fairy tale at night, go for a walk in the park, etc. recede into the past. Therefore, do not be surprised if the eldest wants to return the youngest to the hospital, or even throw her out of the balcony. A “quiet” manifestation of the need for attention can be a wet sheet at night (which was not observed before and is not associated with an illness), your favorite object broken, tantrums, etc.

So, in order to give a chance to friendship between sisters in the future, you will have to find enough time to communicate with your eldest daughter.

Thirdly, friendship between sisters cannot be cloudless if there is a conflict between the parents.

If adults are used to expressing their grief, resentment, disagreement, despair in conflicts, then girls will easily copy this way of communication. The conclusion is obvious, fewer quarrels in front of children. But it is also necessary to solve problems so that they do not “hang in the air” of the home atmosphere.

The next factor against friendship between sisters may be forcing the older girl to take care of the younger one.

It is girls who are more likely to become nannies for younger ones, unlike older brothers. The appearance of another child is not a reason to deprive the older girl of her childhood. From this relationship, the sisters will not become stronger. The child should help according to his mood, for a sense of significance, and at first even in some game form. It is necessary to involve her in taking care of the youngest in order to help you, to be with you together, to become one team. Communication with the younger sister should bring pleasure to the older one. This is especially important in the beginning. Forcing an older daughter to grow up early can lead to her early abuse of alcohol, cigarettes and lack of energy. parental love in early sexual relations. And a more comfortable role as the youngest can make her remain childish for a long time.

Same-sex children are also forced to go through the division of things.

So, by depriving the older one of her favorite dress or toy in favor of the younger one, when the former did not yet agree with this, you yourself create a new reason for the fight. Be sure to consult on such issues with the older girl, ask permission and teach the younger daughter to do this.

Jealousy in girls will be present almost always. But its level depends on parental behavior.

For example, if one was severely punished, while the second one is lisped with the most in a gentle way- without jealousy can not do here. The unequal distribution of purchases, the fulfillment of desires, permissiveness in the behavior of the younger and, at the same time, the truncation of the rights of the older are the most common provocateurs.

Psychologists have proven that conflicts between sisters occur much more often than between brothers or children of different sexes, due to the increased emotionality between them.

Try to take this into account without inciting emotional outbursts for other reasons. And teach children not to pour aggression, anger on each other (sports, beating pillows, screaming in the forest, etc.).

Interesting that warm friendship between sisters reduces the risk of depression in adulthood to a minimum. Therefore, it is especially important for parents to initial stage reconcile biological and psychological features two parties, their relationship, creating a favorable balance for the future. If friendship between sisters is not established in any way, it remains to accept this and stop formally polite relations. This is better than constantly making friends, exposing one of the children to constant psychological abuse, manipulation and form a desire for revenge, cultivate a sense of hatred. Children should be happy - this is the most important condition for any good relationship.

Can't build relationships between your daughters on your own? will help you psychologist family center"ABC for parents".

"In our ideas about family life a lot of fiction, says psychotherapist Jean Seifer, author of Cain's Legacy, about sibling relationships. - We are sure that "blood is thicker than water", that the family will be with you, even when others turn their backs on you ... Sometimes this is true, but not everyone is lucky. It's amazing how little people talk about it."

Relationship problems between siblings are usually attributed to personal animosity between family members or other similar reasons. Of course, these factors play a role, but the main reason is deeper: it has to do with childhood, with the way your parents treated you.

The relationship of parents with their brothers and sisters is undoubtedly reflected in the relationship between children in the family. When raising children, adults may subconsciously try to correct the problems of their own childhood.

“One of my cousins is much younger than her sister, and my mother decided that Small child should not bother a teenager, says Seifer. - Therefore, a lock was inserted into the door from the eldest daughter's room so that the youngest could not go inside without permission. The eldest was now picking up toys and locking herself in the room. How did it happen?

The girls' mother was the eldest child in the family, and her younger sister everything was allowed. And what did she do elder sister becoming an adult? She tried to retroactively fix her life. As a result, my cousins don't talk to each other anymore."

Sibling relationships always start out as rivalries, with deeper kinship feelings coming later.

Fortunately, not all conflicts between siblings end so sadly. To understand why some have broken off relationships completely, while others live quietly together in the same room, it is necessary to realize that sibling relationships always begin as rivalries, and deeper kinship feelings come later.

“It all depends on how parents act: they can recognize the fact of rivalry and work with it, or, conversely, they can subtly encourage confrontation or deny there is a problem at all,” Seifer explains. “Parents are responsible for maintaining love and peace in the family, and if they do not do this, problems in the relationship between children are inevitable.”

You can try to solve these problems in adulthood. Here are seven suggestions from a therapist to help you do just that.

1. Be prepared for challenges

“Reconciliation is hard work,” Seifer says. Ask yourself: do you really want to change the relationship, or are you doing it just out of a sense of duty? You need good enough reasons to go through this difficult path. "There are many waiting for you. failed attempts, a lot of misunderstandings, and all this can last for years,” she warns.

Accept the fact that your brother or sister sees things from their own point of view. “If you were the favorite of the family and your sibling is still angry about it, admit that you got more than he or she did,” Seifer advises. Sometimes even a simple recognition of a fact can change something dramatically.

If you were not the favorite, think about why it happened. Is your brother or sister to blame for being loved more? Or did the parents play their part?

3. Don't look for excuses

"People invent different kind excuses for not doing what they fear,” Seifer says. Think maybe you're just afraid to take the first step? And do not be ashamed of this fear, it is quite natural, because the rejection of such an important person for you can be quite painful. If in the end you still manage to get close, that's great, if not, you won't lose anything.

4. Forget Facebook

Instead of trying to repair the relationship by occasionally commenting on Facebook photos, be bolder in your desires. "People will respond better if you just say, 'I want to fix this!' Sayfer says. Be more open and sincere!

5. You don't have to become best friends.

Face it: is it possible for you to become friends forever and ever, if for the whole last year did you only talk once? Try to turn your mutual dislike into a neutral relationship first.

6. Don't Lose Hope

Your attempt at reconciliation may seem doomed from the start, but change is possible. “I think it's one of the big things in life to go back and make a difference,” says Seifer. Some people are already in their 50s when their life circumstances change (for example, their parents may get sick) and suddenly the relationship between brothers and sisters improves. "Sometimes crisis situations change lives for the better,” Seifer says.

7. If it doesn't work, just accept it.

Life brings people together, but it can also separate them. “My husband and his brother took care of their elderly father together, but this communication completely killed the hope of rebuilding the relationship,” Seifer says. In her opinion, some relationships are so damaged that they simply cannot be restored. The only thing you can do is try to understand the brother or sister and transform the feeling of hatred into something less destructive.

What are your relationships?

Even those brothers and sisters who communicate freely can feel like strangers to each other. Where are you on the Gene Safer scale?

Crack in the armor
Of course, you had problems, but something brought you together: common growing up or the death of one of the parents. Everything between you more heat and you can well imagine a future where you enjoy each other's company.

Through an intermediary
You would like to get closer, but are afraid to touch on the topic of your complex relationships. You can reach each other through an intermediary, usually a child. If your child spends time with your sister's child, common topic to chat will help you start chatting again.

cold courtesy
Do you occasionally talk on the phone or text e-mail, but you are not entirely comfortable in each other's company, and your relationship clearly lacks warmth. Even if you would like to have a closer relationship, none of you makes any attempt to create one. Are you hindered by pride? Or are you afraid of being rejected?

Depicting relationships
The most common type of alienation is when you send birthday cards to each other, but don't know what to say in person. You know almost nothing about each other's life and are not very eager to learn something.

Weddings and funerals
You only meet at family reunions or funerals and try not to be alone. During these meetings, you best case strained relations, at worst - hostile.

Absolutely alien
You have permanently erased your brothers and/or sisters from your memory. You don't want to date them, and if you're warned they'll be on family celebration you don't go there on purpose.

A bad relationship with a sister can start at any age. Constant squabbles, quarrels, resentments, growing hostility over and over again explode in the heart with pain. But you really wanted something else: in the face of your sister to have good friend with whom you can consult, relax, joke. Is it possible to fix everything and still build a relationship with your sister? Or at least how to stop hating her? Looking for answers to these questions with systems-vector psychology Yuri Burlan.

● Why is the sister so bad? Why is she doing everything against me?
● Why can't I build a good relationship with my sister no matter how hard I try?
● Why can't I stop hating my sister?
● What if I hate my sister? What are the right actions?

The relationship between children in the same family is not always formed in a positive way. Children are competitors in life, they fight for everything in the world: for their mother, for a toy, for food. To a lesser extent, this competition is reflected in children of different sexes and with a large age gap (although it cannot be said that it is completely absent).

A small child is a bunch of desires, such an egocentric. Another child in the family is just a hindrance to access to the realization of his desires. Squabbles, resentment, hostility - this is normal phenomena, which is always, in any family. Another thing is that sometimes it happens that children's, and then adult discord between sisters has the potential to turn into a long negative trail.

Sisters are opposites

common life scenario conflict between sisters can occur when one sister has an anal vector, and the other has a dermo-optic bundle of vectors. These girls have absolutely different behavior, different desires, even different body movements. It seems that they cannot be sisters, but they are.

The anal girl is obedient since childhood, her connection with her mother is limitless, she wants to be a good daughter. She is an excellent student (often an excellent student at school), always cleans the room, helps her mother around the house, and never leaves the house in crumpled things.

The skin-visual girl is different - from early childhood she begins to flirt with boys. And with everyone, indiscriminately. Even with the boy that my sister likes. She does not strive for cleanliness, and if her mother says something, she is in no hurry to comply.

Already in the early childhood As soon as such children begin to show their desires, their opposite is visible: the anal sister is slightly offended, the skin sister is angry. But if anger quickly passes, then resentment gets stuck for many years. If in childhood the reasons for quarrels are primitive - own desires everything changes in youth. Often the anal sister cannot stand the skin one, not even because of herself, but because of her behavior with her mother - without respect, without reverence. It seems to her through herself that the way the skin-visual sister acts with her mother is impossible even to imagine.

The birth of their own children also becomes a cause for resentment. The anal mother and the skin mother cannot be the same, but we always judge the other through ourselves. Read real story from the life of a 30-year-old resentment of one sister against another, which was overcome in the article "History of one resentment".

There can be many reasons for bad relationships with sisters.

Children in the same family almost always have different vectors. And desires in vectors are not repeated, which means that with sisters we are often doomed to misunderstanding, up to hatred. Children are not yet limited by culture, shame, or law. Therefore, when the child does not have access to what he wants, aggression occurs. Conflicts between sisters are very different and directly depend on their vectors. Often they are quite superficial, but they can still leave deep, unconscious wounds.

For example, visual girls are very emotional. They can laugh here and cry here. If such a girl has a sound sister, problems may begin. The sound box is closed and closed, no emotions out. She needs peace and quiet, and the noise of her sister, her constant chirping on the phone, bright clothes, the propensity to party irritates, causes dislike and sometimes even hatred.

The oral sister is almost always a problem for the visual, and even more so for the sound. Jokes on obscene topics, obscene language, a loud cry, constant attention to oneself: the visual sister can get shyness from oral, the sound one - closes in her own world.

The topic of beauty between sisters is also important: especially if parents pick up this topic, comparing them with each other. "Our Valya has such Beautiful legs"- mom will say, buying a skirt for her sister, and the second one already understands that the comparison is not in her favor. After all, such phrases are inevitable: everyone will do them - if not parents, then classmates, relatives, neighbors. In such a situation, one child is easy to deprive him of support under his feet, which means to cause in him rejection from his sister, hatred for her, as an object of envy.

There are many stories, they can be listed and listed, but they have one essence. No matter how much you want to change your sister for another person, this is impossible. All you can do is change your perspective on her behavior.

How to build a relationship with your sister? How to stop hating her?

Of course, if parents taught their children to understand the differences between people already in early childhood, a lot of problems would simply not arise. Great importance has and cultural education children, instilling in them moral categories. Then they develop more or less good relations, without hatred and enmity.

But under conditions modern world this rarely happens. We do not know ourselves, what to say about others. It's not about what was said or done, but about living happily. With hatred for his sister, this is unlikely to work out. Hatred is always a feeling that destroys life, makes it heavier. Therefore it is necessary to get rid of hatred. And this is possible!