To punish or not a child for random misconduct? How to properly punish a child so as not to harm him

Instruction

Don't escalate the situation. Punish in a calm state, not in a fit of anger. Punishment is not revenge, not humiliation and not resentment. Do not resort to corporal punishment unless absolutely necessary. When punishing a child, consider the severity of his offense and his. It is almost pointless to punish children under the age of 2-2.5 years in the truest sense of the word. Here, rather, it should be about excluding situations that provoke the baby to disobedience.

At the age of 2 to 4 years, the child realizes himself as, begins to understand which of his actions please others, and which upset or annoy. Despite the fact that understanding is already there, the ability to control one's behavior is still incompletely formed. At this stage of life, a “deputy” appears, who creates all those outrages that drive parents and relatives crazy. This allows the child to be freed from feelings of shame, since most of what happens is not done by him, but by someone else. Talk to your baby more.

Try to believe that the child does not deceive you, claiming that it was "a bunny from the forest who misbehaved." The fact is that the baby is still very easy to confuse fantasy with reality. The task of parents is to understand why the child did this. Ask him, talk to him and help the situation. If you did not bully the baby, and he is not afraid of your anger or condemnation, then he will most likely chat with you willingly.

Do not forget that at this age, kids very often act contrary to their parents. And this is not at all because they do not want to reckon with you, they just need to feel some independence, their capabilities and their limits. If you start punishing a child for this, then you will start a battle in which there will be no winners. Express your dissatisfaction with the behavior of the child, available for his age, explain to him what upset you in his behavior / act.

If you see that the child is worried about the wrongdoing, do not exacerbate these feelings. Try to support him. The main thing is that the baby understands that the accomplished deed is more or less fixable, that he can make a mistake. Explain to the child how to try to do better next time and avoid trouble. Realizing this, the child will quickly learn to treat himself and his behavior more critically. If he does not understand that, for example, by taking or breaking someone else's toy by force, he did something bad, you should think very seriously. It is quite possible that when raising a child, you were so afraid to upset him with the news that he was wrong in some way, that now the child is not at all ready to admit this by performing certain actions.

note

Even if you decide to resort to corporal punishment, remember that a light slap on the baby's bottom with the palm of your hand is enough. And it's only worth doing extreme cases.

Helpful advice

If your child has frequent tantrums, think about how and for what you punish him. Talk to child psychologist, to solve the problem.

Sources:

http://forum.raskraska.com/index.php?showtopic=108

Advice 2: Should a five-year-old child be punished for cheating

At the age of five, toddlers and toddlers are able to tell the most incredible stories. Adults have to make a lot of effort to distinguish between fantasy and purposeful lies, as well as to choose a vector of behavior.

Fantasy is an indicator of emotional and intellectual growth

At the age of five, the ability to fantasize indicates that the child can have a separate territory from adults, protect himself from the roughness of the world around him. For parents at this moment, it is important to teach the baby to distinguish real life from the fantasy world.

Five-year-olds often tell the most incredible stories about terrorists on the roof of a kindergarten, a detective dad, or treasures in the basement of a house. Thus, children attract attention to themselves, trying to arouse the admiration of their peers. If you are faced with such a situation, you should not conclude that your baby is a little liar.

React to the lies of the little dreamer calmly, let him know that you are aware of his fables. Do not ask the question “Why are you?” Children at this age are not able to realize their motives. Be sincerely sympathetic to the child's desire to embellish reality, but bring to his mind that such fictions are good only for the game. Motivate with the fact that the children, having learned about his inventions, will be angry and will never believe him again. Agree to accept the baby's stories only as fiction, but in no case as the truth.

I didn't take it!

Parents quite often have to find foreign things of friends in children, even worse if these things appear after visiting the store. At the age of 4–6 years, the “voice of conscience” is just beginning to form in the child, the child clearly understands that he did something bad, but only the nascent conscience is easily drowned out by the temptation to possess the thing. Ignoring such situations is a ticking time bomb placed under a shaky moral foundation. Explain again that it is not good to take without asking or paying. The best solution there will be a joint payment for the thing or its return to the seller with the clarification that it was taken illegally. Warn the seller in advance of your intention so that she does not violate educational process remarks or harsh remarks.

Was there resentment?

The kid, returning from kindergarten, constantly tells how children offend him. But sometimes, when clarifying, it turns out that such conflicts did not even arise in the team. In this situation, pay attention to how you react if you take the side of your child (which happens in most cases): pity, make excuses for him and turn other children into a source of evil. If the child tells more horror stories the atrocities of other kids, it means that he simply lacks affection and attention. He can get them only by becoming the injured party.

It is also important what questions you ask him on the way from kindergarten, if the list contains the phrase: “Don’t they offend you?”, the child on a subconscious level forms the idea that he should be offended, and he begins to remember all the most insignificant conflicts and quarrels, inflating them to the size of a catastrophe. A child should not live with the thought that he can be offended. Try to praise the child even for small accomplishments: a carrot molded from plasticine, a rhyme told or a line of sticks in a notebook.

Three rules for fighting

Hello dear readers! No matter how many parents I meet, they are always divided into two groups: those who are for punishment and those who are against it. To be honest, building a competent system of punishing a child is not so easy. Some do not have enough strength and patience, while others simply consider the belt the most effective method. Today I would like to talk about how to punish a child at 2 years old, what you should pay attention to and what dad and mom must agree on.

Cause - effect

The first thing I ask you to think about is what you want to punish your baby for. There may be a million reasons, but sometimes there are those that do not deserve any punishment at all.

Why do you not like this or that action of the baby? Is it really bad behavior or reaction to your actions? After all, then the punishment would be inappropriate.

Parents do not always understand when to punish, and when to talk and explain to the child what he is doing wrong. Let's try to understand this issue. For example, your baby has a tantrum. Should I succumb to his manipulation? Or maybe it's easier to give him a pop?

I answer this question in detail in the article "". What to do if a tantrum occurs on the street or at a party, what is the easiest way to get the baby out of similar condition which definitely cannot be done.

Your son broke your favorite mug. Your first reaction? Anger, resentment, anger, despair. Everyone is different. But in any case, first figure out why this happened before grabbing the belt.

Maybe the son wanted to take care and bring you a drink. In this case, the punishment will only avert his desire to take care of loved ones.

My daughter painted the wallpaper, although you forbid her to draw not in the album. Remember, children at the age of two are actively exploring the world. And if she draws on different subjects, she is trying to understand where the felt-tip pen draws better, and on which surface it will not draw at all.

Put white paintable wallpaper in her room and let her paint for fun. Maybe you have a future great artist growing up, and you are burying her talent with unnecessary and unnecessary punishments.

Remember, before scolding your child, be sure to establish the reason.

Why did it happen,
why did the child not ask you for help,
why didn't you consult
why did he do that
what he wanted to achieve.

Subsequence

Too many parents sin with inconsistency. I have one mommy friend who at first punishes, forbids watching cartoons, and after half an hour she already leaves and allows everything. Ask yourself: what was the meaning of the punishment?

All the advice of psychologists comes down to the fact that the punishment must be fully executed. If you forbade watching TV today, then there can be no concessions. You can not first prohibit and immediately allow. Thus, you will never build a competent system of punishments.

Do not throw too loud phrases. “You won’t leave the room for a month” - at least the child needs to go to the toilet, and this already contradicts the punishment. Be as specific as possible and try not to exaggerate.

In order for the punishment to be proportionate, you need to cool down. In a fit of anger or anger, parents often take too harsh measures. Exhale, relax, count to ten. Do whatever you want to keep the heat out.

Of course, one should not forget that every baby is unique, not all tricks will work the same in different families, but it will never be superfluous to try.

On one side

In addition to consistency, there is another problem - the different approach of the father and mother. I touch on this issue in the article "".

Mom allowed me to take this toy, and my father immediately takes it away with the words: yesterday you didn’t put your toys away, today you won’t play with them. Under no circumstances should this be done.

Dear parents, you are adults and can talk, so use this skill to agree on a common solution.

When the father's words contradict the mother's, which option do you think the child will choose? And what does such a situation lead to? The kid will listen to the parent who allows him more. And the second parent will act as a dictator, an evil policeman.

If your husband or man (not your father) does not agree with your parenting method, then you need to talk about it. Try to find a compromise, express your arguments and arguments and listen to him. Do not tear the child apart with contradictory edifications and punishments.

Carbon paper

Children at the age of two very quickly adopt the behavior of adults. They are now at the age when they try to copy any action, repeat words after adults and quickly grasp. You can use this to your advantage.

Show by example how to act, what to do. For example, when you are dressing for a walk, do not dress your child yourself, let him try to do it.

Choose the same clothes, for example, a T-shirt, pants, socks. Stand next to you and start dressing, and let the baby repeat after you. If something does not work out for the baby, first ask if he needs help and only then help.

Or, for example, in the evening before going to bed, put your things in their places, and let the child put his toys in their places. When you wash the dishes, call the child, let him also try this activity.

Show how to do it right with your example. After all, you are not only a parent, but also an educator. Teach the child. If you scatter your things all the time, then the baby will copy your behavior.

If you are late, swear bad words, watch TV all the time - your baby's behavior will be the same. Think about it.

Sometimes it happens that the baby copies not only from the parents. He can adopt a demeanor from his grandmother, uncle, kindergarten teacher, cartoon character. It also happens that the kid starts to fight, like, for example, the hero of his favorite cartoon.

Don't panic. Read the article "". And remember, there is a way out of any situation.

Not empty talk

Often I hear parents talking about the fact that it makes no sense to talk with a small child, saying that he still does not understand anything. Nonsense! The kid understands everything. And it absorbs like a sponge.

Is it possible to solve the issue of disobedience by talking? Can. Everything depends on you. How calm and patient are you? After all, sometimes you have to explain the same thing to the baby several times. But I meet numerous examples of parents who have learned to negotiate with their children.

Try to develop a certain system of communication with the child. Nobody says it will be easy. Yes, it will take a lot of effort. Be very patient and calm. But it is not in vain that they say that not only parents teach their children, but also children teach their parents.

Do not use the baby's speech, do not lisp and hoot with him. Speak in simple and clear words, slowly, measuredly. Don't yell at the baby. Or will not help you, but will only aggravate the matter. Do not manipulate or threaten. If you decide to punish, then explain in detail what and why.

The standard parental phrase "because I said so" makes no sense to children. Explain in as much detail as possible what action you are punishing for, why such a punishment, how it could have been avoided, and so on. Don't be lazy. This will help you a lot in the future.

The decision on the system of punishments is up to you. But before you decide in favor of corporal punishment, be sure to read the article "". I just want to make sure you've considered everything. possible options and make the right decision.

How do you punish your children? Do they understand what and why they are being punished? How were you raised by your parents? Do you and your spouse share a parenting system, or do you disagree on some issues?

Good luck and have a nice day!

Punish or not punish the child? And if punished, then how to do it right?

Many parents slap the baby on the pope, put it in a corner, scold, while others, on the contrary, try to influence in a moral way, refusing to give the baby an evening kiss or refusing to read a bedtime story.

How to properly punish a child?

Should spanking a child be punished?

Should you spank a child as punishment?? Is spanking a baby bad?

Your child is already 2.5 years old and besides, you do not abuse spanking as a punishment for any reason, besides, this type of punishment does not scare the baby too much?

Then sometimes such punishment can be useful. At the age of 2.5 years, the child begins to understand that he is doing something wrong, but it does not always work out for him to stop on his own.

If the kid decided to test the limits of what is allowed and find out how far he will be allowed to go, similar view punishment may be justified. But since the baby is not yet well oriented in the world around him, parents themselves must determine and show the child the boundary that should not be crossed.

Try to influence the child

Until the baby has reached 2-2.5 years, it is almost pointless to punish him, because he can understand only one thing from all this, that he is bad and his parents do not like him.

The kid, of course, sees the result of his activity: a broken toy, a broken cup or a trampled flower bed, but he does not fully realize how exactly this happened and that he did it himself.

Therefore, teach your child to guide himself and the things around him through smart, clear prohibitions and restrictions, without detailed explanations that he is not yet able to understand.

Starting from about 2.5 years old, the child is already aware of himself as a separate person and the realization of who the real performer of actions comes to him. He also begins to understand that some of his actions please others and are considered good, and some are considered bad.

But, despite the fact that the child is fully aware that her actions can be both good and bad, the ability to control her behavior in the child has not yet been sufficiently formed.

Often during this period, imaginary “pests” appear in children, which allow the child not to feel guilty and ashamed of himself, because someone else is doing all the dishonorable acts.

Try to understand why the child does this. Ask in more detail about how the event happened, discuss the situation with the baby and help him correct it. If the child is not afraid of your anger, condemnation or punishment, most likely he will willingly share with you his opinions and why he did not do well.

Around the age of 3, children often act against their parents because they need to feel their independence, determine their own capabilities and limits. If you start to punish for this, then instead of obedience you will receive active resistance. Try to treat the baby's act as an annoying nuisance that will disappear over time.

The main thing is not the choice of the method of punishing children 2.5-3 years old, it is more important to correctly determine what you want to achieve. If you want to help your child understand his guilt, then refrain from screaming and slapping. Try to calmly explain to the child what exactly upset you in his act.

Physical punishment, such as a slap on the butt or being sent to a corner, can have a temporary effect. So, best method"Punishment" of the child - your attentive attitude and ability to listen and hear the baby.

But first, a story. Little Lisa had warm wool trousers green, in which she liked to walk in kindergarten. But after walking through the spring puddles, my mother said that they needed to be washed. Hearing that the trousers were dirty, Lisa carried them to the bath. Only my mother forgot that there was still a basin with white linen in it. When it came to washing, it turned out that the linen had managed to acquire a delicate turquoise hue. And only Liza's face beamed with the satisfied smile of her mother's assistant.Is it worth punishing a child who did not want to do anything wrong? Answer yourself by reading our tips.

To punish or not to punish a child

Think before you speak. What words will you say: good or evil? Unfortunately, you can't take them back. Do deep breath and wait a few seconds before reacting to a childish prank. (See article)
Remember, things are replaceable, a child is not. You don't want your child to think that things are more important to you than him? A cut carpet can be sewn up, scratched furniture can be repaired, painted doors can be washed, a broken vase can be glued together, but returning the trust and love of a punished child is much more difficult.
Disobedience is not a personal attack against you. If you're already going to poke your ears naughty child who broke your beloved and, most importantly, expensive camera, think about whether he did it to spite you. In the vast majority of cases, children break something, fight with someone, or play pranks in any other way not to harm you.
Leave the room and calm down. When emotions are running high and you can't recover or calm your child down, take a break. Leave the room, call a friend, count to 100, or do something else that will calm you down and allow you to talk to your child without unnecessary nerves. (See article)
Make sure your expectations are appropriate for the child's age. Are you waiting for your four year old behave as sensibly as a ten-year-old? Do you think that an eight year old student will fulfill all your requirements like a 16 year old teenager? Reminisce about age norms to find out what to expect from your child and what you can prepare for.
Perhaps later you will laugh at today's situation. If you learn to laugh at what is happening, almost any childish transgression will no longer seem like a tragedy. Baby spilled milk all over the kitchen? Did the preschooler paint the wallpaper in the nursery? Someday, these stories will become your family tales, which you will share with friends and family with laughter. And in the most difficult moments, pick up the books by Astrid Lindgren, telling about the little tomboy Emil from Lenneberg.
Think back to your age. Better yet, ask your parents to remind you of how you were as a child. Surely the antics of a child will fade before your childish pranks. And, perhaps, the mug he broke will no longer be such a strong sin.
Never forget that you love children. Of course, it's hard to think about love for a little prankster when he painted your new car with a felt-tip pen or accidentally cracked a crystal vase. However, it is precisely at these moments that your understanding and good attitude he needs the most.

Moms take note!

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Every parent always has two main tasks in the foreground: the health of the child and his upbringing. As far as health is concerned, the methods and means of achieving the goal are more or less clear. Compliance with the daily routine elementary rules hygiene, regular care, hardening, wholesome food, walks on fresh air are all components full development healthy baby from a physical point of view. With education, the situation is a little different, because its fruits will be visible only after the children have already grown up.

All moms and dads dream of raising from their crumbs good man, but for this it is necessary to understand which approaches are effective and which are useless and, on the contrary, can only do harm. One very important point in education is punishment, namely, whether it is necessary to punish a child and how to do it correctly.

When issues of upbringing and methods of punishment are raised, many parents come to a standstill.

Psychologists do not advise hitting a child with a belt on the pope or on the hands, regardless of the offense. Also, some experts recommend treating the baby as an adult and demanding from him accordingly. This approach may work at ages 8, 9 and older, but for a child who is 2-4 years old, it simply does not apply.

Purpose of punishment and reasons for disobedience

What goals do parents most often pursue when punishing their children? There are 2 main reasons for this:

the desire to correct the behavior of the baby so that it falls under the generally accepted ideas of adults about what is right;
an attempt to explain hostility towards the child.

In the first case, adults almost always fail, in the second, on the contrary, they achieve success. This is because they do not know how to punish properly.

A fairly common situation is when a child does not want to comply with the existing rules. The manifestation of disobedience is associated with the following points:

Checking the crumbs of established boundaries. They are simply necessary for the baby, as they make him feel safe, but from time to time he has a desire to test them for strength - he does this by resorting to refusal or simply does not obey. Parents should be prepared for this and show firmness and inflexibility.
Lack of attention. This happens when parents are very busy with things and stop paying enough attention to the crumbs, or during a period of major changes in their usual way of life, for example, moving or attending a kindergarten. At this time, the child needs additional communication. Otherwise, he will begin to demonstrate his discontent in the form of unwillingness to eat, refusal to go for a walk, and similar whims.
Excessive excitability and aggressiveness. This usually affects children who spend most of their time playing games. computer games or watching cartoons, especially with elements of aggression and cruelty - the brain receives too much information that it is unable to process.

If a child spends a lot of time playing games on a console or computer, his mind becomes excitable

What is the risk of not being punished?

According to the well-known pediatrician and author of many best-selling books about Spock's children, the child must eventually understand everything and adopt the generally accepted rules. However, in practice, this approach proved to be completely untenable. Naturally, from the point of view of the child, it is very convenient, since the solution of all problems falls on the shoulders of the parents, starting with protecting from potentially dangerous things in infancy and ending with financial assistance in more adulthood. In addition, you are not scolded, there are no punishments and you are always treated kindly. Parents see things differently. They have to keep their negative emotions and hoard them inside. As a result, 99% of a hundred, sooner or later, breakdown, then all the accumulated negativity falls on the child, and the longer the parents endure, the stronger the consequences of the emotional explosion will be. Such overstrain negatively affects their mental state.

There is an opinion that at the end of his life, Spock changed his views in relation to impunity. He concluded that punishment is necessary part full and harmonious development child.

At what age can one resort to punishment?

For example, Japanese children up to three years of age everything is allowed. This attitude is explained by the fact that children begin to perceive themselves separately, as an individual only from 2.5-3 years. The kid shows more and more independence, he speaks about himself already in the first person. A signal that the baby has moved to a new, more active stage in personality formation can be a phrase like “I myself”. Moreover, during this period, he already understands the causal relationship between misconduct and punishment. Such permissiveness has every reason, but parents must have tremendous patience and the ability to switch the attention of the child.

Japanese children under the age of five do not know refusal in anything - this is national feature education

However, this method does not exclude the need to educate babies before this period. A one and a half year old or two year old baby should still not be allowed to hit, bite, pinch, hurt others, try to stick fingers or other objects into sockets, and generally commit unwanted actions. In quite young age much easier to just translate children's attention and do something else. Disapproval from an adult can also act as a punishment.

It is important to note that up to the age of 5, a child repeats a lot after the people around him. Most often, a role model for him are parents, close relatives or people from a constant circle of friends. What will be their behavior, so will the baby behave. Punishing for your own mistakes is unreasonable. It is also always necessary to explain to the baby what is good and what is bad.

In what cases can not resort to punishment?

IN Everyday life parents quite often scold children for any reason, as soon as the behavior of the crumbs goes beyond what is desired, however, not all tricks deserve punishment, because certain pampering and activity are natural way development for the baby. Attempts to fix it will only hinder and harm. The following are examples of when you should not punish your child:

Activities aimed at understanding the world. For example, a baby tastes everything that it picks up from the floor or on the street, explores sockets, strives to climb high, draws on wallpaper and furniture, and the like. Instead of scolding the baby, it is worth protecting the child himself and valuables.
features associated with age. This restlessness, inattention and poor memory.
Physiology. This includes trouble sleeping or not wanting to eat cooked food. IN similar situations it is better to treat the crumbs with understanding and resort to various tricks to achieve the goal.
Inexperience. The child is still in the process of realizing what is bad and what is good. He may well push another baby, repeating this after someone and not realizing that this cannot be done, he can take other people's toys without asking. Also, the inability to use the potty leads to many small troubles. You need to be patient and be more forgiving until the baby learns to go to the potty.
Carelessness. Adults themselves cannot stay clean all the time and not get dirty, but Small child at 2-3 years old, especially with all its activity, it will definitely fall, spill, drop and dirty things.
Manifestation of feelings. Being jealous of a brother or sister, getting upset and not wanting to leave when mom and dad go to work or take them to kindergarten - these are all natural emotions of a baby.

You can’t punish a child for emotions, because anyone can experience them.

How to be strict and still be loved?

Here are 6 principles for dealing with the problem of punishing children, from the popular book on parenting "Don't be afraid to be strict" written by J. Dobson:

Setting limits. It is necessary to determine the least desirable actions on the part of the child and prohibit them - biting, sitting on cold ground and the like. You don't have to ban everything. The child needs space for games and his research activities.
Requirement for achievable tasks. It is useless to ask for something that the baby is not able to do. An accidentally broken cup or a torn T-shirt is not a reason to swear.
Ready for conflict situations and provocation by the child. You can not allow him to hurt himself and show his helplessness. It's so easy to lose credibility in his eyes.
Irresponsibility does not mean that the child does not obey and requires punishment. There is nothing unusual in the fact that the baby can forget about the request and not follow the instructions. His memory is not yet as well developed as compared to an adult.
Reconciliation. Having executed the punishment, it is necessary to explain again why the offender was punished. It is also important to comfort the baby and assure him of his love.
Punishment must come from love. Before resorting to punishment, it is important to understand and make a correct assessment of what happened, to try to understand the child. This should be done in a calm state, without offending the baby. Humiliation hardly contributes to the education of personality.

In order for the punishment to be justified, the reasons for the child's behavior must first be identified.

Various Ways to Punish Children

There are a number of other principles in the punishment of children according to J. Dobson. Among them:

It is necessary to punish immediately after the deed. The logic will not be clear to the child, according to which the punishment can follow in an hour or even only the next day. This will be followed by the conclusion that he can be punished at any time and it does not matter at all how he behaves now. That is, it loses any sense to behave well.
The punishment must match the offense. It is better to determine in advance exactly how to punish for a particular offense.
It is important to explain the reasons for the prohibitions so that the baby catches their essence, and not only fears the consequences that disobedience entails.
The reason for punishing a child should not be the poor health, mood or fatigue of the parents. Also, you can not punish for what was not previously prohibited. For example, if the baby, while he was small, could not open the cutlery drawer, and now he does it with ease, then at first you just need to warn about the ban and explain it, only in the event of a subsequent incident, resort to educational measures.
Disregard of the established rules should always be punished and desirable in the same way.

Other nuances in punishments according to J. Dobson

You should also adhere to the following principles:

No need to scare the child with punishment (we recommend reading:). He needs to be clear that disobedience is followed by punishment, but it should not serve as a means of intimidation. This will simply make the prankster be more cunning and resourceful.
Do not use as a punishment intimidation by other people's uncles, aunts, policemen who will come and take away a naughty boy or girl - the child will think that he is not needed.
Avoid criticism and insults of the baby. It is preferable to show dissatisfaction or express disapproval of the offense or violation itself.
If the punishment is associated with a temporary ban on the use of goodies or the selection of privileges, it is necessary to clarify the terms of its validity.
Ignoring a child is akin to physical punishment, although some schools and educational practices justify such a harsh method.
It is advisable to reprimand the crumbs one on one, and not in front of strangers. This will keep his self-esteem and psycho-emotional state other children will not be harmed either.
All family members, without exception, must follow the established rules.
It is better to print or draw a set of basic rules with the baby and stick it in a conspicuous place.

If the child has received a certain ban, it is very important to indicate the expiration date of its validity.

Reasons not to hit a child

Many parents have normal attitude to physical punishment. This is especially true for those who were beaten as children. In fact, slapping a baby on the pope, hand, or giving a slap on the back of the head is the easiest and fastest way, and it’s quite difficult to control such a reaction. However, the use of force as punishment is wrong for a number of reasons:

The connection between the baby and the parent is broken due to physical impact. Demands of unquestioning obedience replace attempts to build relationships and understand the motivation of the child's actions.
Little awareness that strength makes it possible to punish and beat weak people. In the future, this may affect the parents themselves, and before that, such attitudes will affect other children, and sometimes animals.
Waiting for new physical punishments. When a child is constantly waiting for slaps on the pope and pain, he is in a state of stress, and this is fraught with enuresis, sleep disturbances, severe excitability, and so on. As a result, unsafe complexes may form in the crumbs and developmental problems may appear.

Some parents and even psychologists believe that in rare cases physical punishment appropriate. It can only be connected with out of the ordinary factors - for example, if a child is torturing a living being.

Showing Loyalty in Punishment

What more loyal methods to replace the already familiar punishment? For example:

You should not send the guilty crumb to a corner, it is better to put him on a sofa or chair. While he is standing, many muscle groups tense in him, which prevents him from calming down and thinking about how he did it. For sitting punishment, you can choose a specific chair, stool or armchair. At first, the baby can get off the spot, but you need to return it back. For babies, it is better to limit the punishment time according to age: 1 year = 1 minute. If the rule is violated again, add one more minute. When punishing children aged 7-11 years and older, one should not only seat them on a chair, but also advise them to think over their offense and come when they understand what needs to be done.
In the book of psychologist N. Latta "Before your child drives you crazy" it is proposed to use for punishment separate room. For safety reasons, it should not contain dangerous objects within the reach of the child. In addition, the room should be light, and the parent should not continue to scold and subtract the baby from behind the door.
Deprive of pleasure or privilege. For example, do not give your favorite sweets for one day or prohibit watching cartoons before bed. However, it is not necessary to argue that such a punishment is forever. Firstly, this is unlikely, and secondly, sooner or later such promises fly out of the head, and the adult himself gives a treat or turns on a cartoon. As a result, the child's parent ceases to enjoy such authority as before. In addition, you can not deprive the promised - this method is applicable only with the usual joys. You can’t take your baby’s personal belongings or toys yet, so he may think that he doesn’t own anything and will not take care of the items.
Easy ignoring tantrums. You should be nearby, but do not talk or look at the baby until he calms down. After discussing the situation and finding out why he did not obey.

The chair for punishment is a replacement for the “corner”, this technique really allows the child to calm down and think about his behavior

Other loyal methods of punishment

The following are additional loyal measures to combat disobedience:

To allow to do what is forbidden in the absence of harm to health. For example, if a child takes away toys from other children, they will simply stop playing with him. This method will help establish a causal relationship for the baby, strengthen the authority of parents and contribute to the development of logical thinking.
Use fun punishments for minor infractions. If the kid ran into the room in shoes, let him jump on one leg 10-12 times, while saying that now he will always take off his shoes in the corridor. Children who already know how to write can be forced to write the rules on paper, but this should also be done in moderation.
Tell a tale. This, of course, is not quite like a punishment, but it will show the baby quite easily and unobtrusively how to act badly in a similar situation and what the consequences may be. You can choose a suitable story or cartoon from existing ones or come up with your own. With the help of fairy tales, the baby learns the world and learns to behave correctly.

One way or another, the method of punishing a child depends entirely on the parents. If there is no confidence in the correctness of the chosen approach, you can always turn to the help and assessment of specialists, visit psychologists, read relevant books or simply watch videos on the Internet on this issue.