Pocket money - "for!" and "against! Pocket money

Do children need pocket money?

How much money to give a child?

Do I need to control the spending of pocket money?

Is it worth giving money for work or study?

In some families, parents believe that the child already has everything, and often more than necessary. Who is not familiar with the problem of a room littered with unnecessary toys? And if a child needs something, he can always ask his parents, they will not refuse him ... It turns out that the child has at least up to adolescence and don't need to.

However, your money important element in the life of a child, one might say, a step in his development. Let's see what task pocket money performs in a child's life.

Myths about pocket money

Myth 1: “Money helps you learn the basics financial literacy children learn to calculate their spending.

Perhaps this is the case with fairly solid amounts issued to almost adult children. For small children, the small amount they are given is unlikely to seriously teach them how to handle money, given that financial side their lives are fully supported by adults.

Myth 2: "Pocket money will teach a child to value money, save it, help to understand its real value."

This is hardly true for children who really do not need anything. You should not expect that a child from a fairly well-to-do family will appreciate or save money just because he is given small amounts. Sometimes children have a particularly reverent attitude towards personal money, but this is rather an individual trait, which is usually accompanied by other character traits. Most often, the presence of pocket money does not teach children thrift.

Pocket money in a child's life plays a completely different, rather psychological role. Appearing in the life of a child, they affect several aspects of his life at once:

Relations with the world and the ability to influence the situation

The child who receives his own money gains some a new edge freedom, he begins to look differently at what is available to him in the world of things and pleasures. Previously, all his opportunities to get something (be it things or entertainment) were completely controlled by his parents. After receiving pocket money, the role of parents in receiving benefits, although it actually remains, somewhat fades into the shadows and this changes the psychological reality of the child. Now he feels more powerful and independent in the world. The child feels more independent now b O He can afford more pleasures without the participation of his parents.

Relationship with parents

Pocket money is one of the markers of the new position of the child in the world of people. The child, growing up, gradually encloses his own territory, to which parents will have access only if the child wants it. By giving pocket money, parents, for their part, seem to recognize the child's right to this own territory. By this they confirm the right of the child to own choice and show him their confidence. This is especially true with teenagers, but also applies to younger students.

Sometimes parents do not give money to a child precisely because they are afraid that this money will be used for dangerous things (junk food, alcohol, drugs). In such cases, the child receives two negative messages from the parent at once:

you are not worthy of our trust

- you are incapable of making the right choice.

It can reasonably be expected that both of these messages will not in the best way affect the child's self-esteem and behavior in adulthood. You can learn more about the hidden messages that we give to children in the "Beware of Words!" webinar, which can be downloaded.

Sometimes giving a child a small amount of pocket money can somewhat improve relations with him. Of course, this is not about “buying love”! However, often, ignoring the needs of the child in the field of independent small purchases, we provoke him to a hidden, unconscious dissatisfaction with his position in the family.

The child may not talk about it, but it is difficult for him to forgive some things from his parents, especially if the family is constantly dissatisfied with his financial situation or the behavior of the child.

Try on this situation: what if every time you want to buy something, you would have to ask the household members. Most people consider this situation for an adult very sad. This situation is also unpleasant for a child, the older the child becomes, the more dissatisfaction he may have in this regard.

The presence or absence of personal money affects the internal picture of oneself, that is, the identity of a person. Money, as a rule, does not come to a person just like that, it is the result of labor, energy investment, it is a material expression of the energy spent. And in themselves they are also energy that can be disposed of by giving or exchanging it for something.

On the other hand, money is the universal equivalent of opportunities, pleasures, and possessions. The presence or absence of opportunities to own and dispose of this energy ultimately affects how a person begins to see himself. Gradually, the child develops an idea of ​​himself as a person who owns an energy resource or a person who does not have direct access to this resource. Pocket money, of course, is not the only subject that influences the formation of a picture of oneself and one's capabilities, it is only an element in a complex field of influences directed at a person. However, this element is important.

The presence of pocket money leads the child to other psychological spaces, affects his idea of ​​himself. It is from this position that it makes sense to regard pocket money.

Pocket money should not be confused with the so-called "target" money, the money that you give your child for food at school, excursions, and so on. These amounts are given to the child for something, and he cannot dispose of them at his own discretion.

Also, we will not include “earned” money as pocket money, those that the child receives for any of his actions.

Pocket money is money that is given out family budget child, the spending of which is not controlled in any way by adults. The child receives this money simply because, by the fact of his existence in the family, he is entitled to a part family money. And a small amount of this money is given to him at his personal disposal.

How to give pocket money

You can start giving money around 6-7 years. At this age, the child is already socially developed enough for money to become valuable to him. Most children are not interested in money beforehand, unless this interest is developed artificially.

The question of the amount of money cannot be resolved unambiguously, firstly, due to the fact that children different ages different needs, and secondly, because families have different incomes and children grow up in different social environment. In addition, it is worth considering the child's experience of dealing with money, too large amounts issued unexpectedly can disorient the child.

There is no correct formula by which one could calculate the ideal amount for each case, but one can use the most useful ideas in this area:

– start with small amounts, gradually increasing them;

- ask how much money your child's friends give, a similar amount would be quite appropriate;

- give out money that you are really ready to part with without any particular worries. Children may spend money on things you disapprove of, give or lose money. Therefore, in the hands of the child should be only that amount, the loss of which the parents will not experience too dramatically.

It is advisable not to control in any way how the child spends the amount that you gave him. Many parents are rightfully afraid that the child, having received money, will spend it on junk food or other forbidden things. Indeed, this happens quite often, the child spends money on things that his parents do not buy him (cola, chips, etc.). However, this issue concerns another area of ​​education, it does not directly relate to pocket money. Eating habits and attitudes about what is good and what is bad are formed over many years, under the influence of the environment. By the time a child receives pocket money, he already has a certain set of attitudes. A child, leaving home, becomes temporarily uncontrollable, and the question of whether he will eat unhealthy foods and do unsightly acts is not a question of whether or not the child has pocket money. There will always be opportunities and it is impossible to solve this issue with financial constraints.

The amount of pocket money must be agreed with the child in advance and be fixed.

Pocket money cannot be taken away from a child due to some misconduct or the mood of a parent. The possession of a certain amount is usually valued by children, and this makes money a tempting tool to manipulate a child's behavior, in particular, a tool of punishment. Parents often deprive a child of pocket money, for some wrongdoing. This is an unsuccessful strategy that robs the child of a sense of security, leading to a sense of helplessness. After all, if an adult, at his own discretion, can give or take away freedom and independence, the embodiment of which is partly money, then for a child this means his own insignificance. It is better not to use this approach. This kind of punishment greatly undermines the child's trust in the parents and can significantly affect the relationship with him. If, nevertheless, financial punishments are planned, then the child must be notified in advance about this, clearly imagine in which case he will lose pocket money. Thus, the issue of deprivation of pocket money can be considered, for example, if a child steals money or material values ​​from parents or other people. In this case, the money that usually went into the pocket of the child is sent to cover the results of his act. However, cases of theft, especially repeated ones, always require individual consideration, and punishment or deprivation can only aggravate those psychological states that push the child to steal.

It is convenient to give money to the child within the agreed time frame (once a month or week). At first " financial way» child, the period for which money is given should be very short. Gradually, with increasing amounts, the interval between financial injections may also increase. In this case, the grown-up child will already face the need for minimal planning of his expenses, in which you can help him.

At first, it makes sense to help your child organize a place to store money and convey to him ideas about saving money that you think are good. . Sometimes children who have started to receive small amounts lose them, forget to take them to the store with them. This should become a matter of responsibility for the child. That is, you give money to a child, and at a certain moment he is responsible for their storage and availability. It is better to avoid situations in which it is not the child, but the mother who counts the child's pocket money, stores it, and so on. The child must organize storage and monitor his money on his own.

money for work

A separate topic is the opportunity to earn money in the family. There are two main areas: study and directly work.

Some families believe that studying for a child is the same job, so it would be natural to pay for the child's efforts in the field of study. I am one of the fundamental opponents of such a position and I believe that under no circumstances should you pay for education, both for individual grades and for a well-finished quarter. As a motivator, money for studying does not work well and leads to a decrease in study motivation rather than to its increase. In the field of education, completely different incentives work. Money, if it gives a temporary result, is accompanied by very tangible negative phenomena, and besides, it has a bad effect in the long run.

Don't pay for housework either.. After all, household chores are, in a sense, a condition life together and an unspoken agreement between family members living under the same roof. Paying for the removal of the bin or washed dishes means putting the child in an artificial and strange situation when, for some reason, the rules of the hostel that are followed by other family members do not apply to him. In addition, with paid homework it is assumed that the child is incapable of perceiving other positive reinforcements (gratitude, approval, joy of loved ones), and understands only the ringing of "gold coins". Agree, such a situation is unnatural and highly undesirable.

In addition, by paying for household chores to a child, you make the very execution of these chores dependent on how much the child is interested in money. If there is no interest, the work is not done. And who can guarantee that a child will be more interested in money than in free time?

However, opportunities to earn own family yet there is. Here, those types of work that you entrust to third parties that are not performed by family members are suitable. The family budget has already allocated a certain amount for such expenses, and the child, if desired, can receive it by doing the appropriate work. Here suitable washing cars, dog walking, certain types of household work and other duties that are usually performed not by family members themselves, but by specially hired people. For example, you usually wash your car in a special center, but if your child, wanting to increase the amount of his personal money, does it himself, then the amount that you would have spent on washing will fairly go to him. This logic is accessible and understandable to children; it does not turn relations with parents into commerce. The child has the opportunity to earn money, but there is also a choice to refuse work without harming the family. The child actually has no such choice if you pay him to clean your room or study. He cannot refuse and say - "I will not do this", because in this case he will still be subjected to pressure from his parents, who will insist on doing things.

Family heritage: attitude towards money

Pocket money is an important part of a child's experience, but attitudes toward money are shaped by a variety of influences. Children, as a rule, form their attitude to money, relying on the views of their parents in this area, but without completely copying them. However, the position of parents in the field of finance plays a big role in shaping the mentality of the child.

The attitude towards money in the family is transmitted both consciously with the help of words and examples that parents use, and unconsciously, through the emotional field of the family. The words that we address to children and the unconscious attitudes of parents, which seem to be read from the field of the family, also influence. At the same time, hidden and explicit attitudes may conflict with each other.

For example, a family may set up a child to receive good education and, as a consequence, to good earnings. However, hidden installation, transmitted by family maybe a position: It is a shame to have a lot of money. With such an attitude, wealth is opposed to spirituality, or it is believed that it is impossible to earn big money honestly. It may not sound directly, but from the general context, the child understands that a person’s serious wealth casts doubt on his decency. With such an attitude, it is difficult to expect that the child, having matured, will be in good relations with money. Rather, he will unconsciously avoid wealth, or become frightened and destroy his own successful projects if earnings looming ahead that he is not psychologically ready to accept.

How can parents help a child establish a relationship with money that will contribute to his harmonious life? There are two main directions here:

- Do not neglect the basics of financial literacy. Finance is an area to study like any other. There are various possibilities for this: from financial games to special academic disciplines. You should not expect that financial literacy will come naturally to a child, without any effort in this regard.

- work on your own attitude to money. You may also lack financial literacy and you can make efforts in this direction. Many adults dream of streamlining their financial life, learning how to optimize their personal budget, so maybe it's time to master this area? On the other hand, our attitude to money is under the pressure of unconscious attitudes, which we talked about above. By reflecting and working on these attitudes, you can form new relationships with them, rethink their impact on your life. By optimizing our own attitude towards money, we will certainly positively influence how our children will relate to this important area of ​​life.

© Elizaveta Filonenko

One of the causes of poverty in our country is the inability of people to deal with in cash. We are not taught this either in school or in institutes. Therefore, parents themselves must teach their children how to handle money.

Pocket money- this is a certain fixed amount of money that parents give to the child for small personal expenses with a certain frequency and which he is free to dispose of at his own discretion.

Pocket money- a powerful material stimulant psychological education children, this is their independence and independence from their parents, the ability to count and calculate, save and accumulate money.

Why do some parents never give their children pocket money?

Parents who never give their children pocket money are usually guided by principles:

1. There is no extra money, and a penny makes a ruble. The child will waste money.
2. The child cannot do right choice, he will spend money on unnecessary things.
3. The child may develop greed and envy.
4. The child will not know the value of money, money can spoil the child.
5. The child eats at home, dresses, toys are bought for him - why does he need money? For drugs?
6. The child will not know the value of money, because he does not earn it and does not know how mom and dad get it, but gets it ready. This can spoil the delicate psyche of the child.
7. If the child does not have personal money, he will ask for everything he needs. And so it is easier to control his life.

Often, depriving a child of pocket money is simply an attempt by parents to completely control him and make him as dependent as possible.

Most psychologists emphasize that pocket money should not be a payment or reward child for their efforts in something, for example: for good behavior, for good studies, for help in the household.

The benefits of pocket money for children are as follows:

1. From childhood, a child learns to manage money, plan his expenses, and sometimes save.
2. Unforeseen circumstances can happen in life.
3. A child can buy what he considers necessary, and not convince his parents that he needs it, and not beg for money.
4. For teenagers from the age of 14, pocket money is doubly important: it allows them to feel more confident.
5. The child will feel like a person who is not humiliated to live in a world of self-sufficient adults.

Pocket money can develop the following in a child: personal qualities: independence, responsibility, prudence, patience, lack of “Mom, buyiiiiiii!”, understanding of parents, frugality, careful attitude to purchased toys...

The reverse side of the "money" medal are the following disadvantages:

1. The child quickly gets used to the fact that there is always money in his pocket, and ceases to appreciate it.
2. Children can spend the money that their parents give them not on food and transport, but on cigarettes and low-alcohol drinks.
3. A teenager receives money without putting any effort into it. You can correct this situation by offering him to try to find a part-time job.

Parents often face the question, at what age can a child be given pocket money?

The optimal age is 6-7 years old, when the child can already appreciate the value of money and at least somehow calculate his expenses. However, it is necessary to take into account individual characteristics child, his knowledge of money and attitude towards them.

You can donate money if:

1. He understands that they were not easy for his parents.
2. He knows why he needs them, and can quite clearly answer what he spends them on. 3. He knows how to get "necessary" in retail outlets.

The child is not mature enough for pocket money, If:

1. He has little idea where and how parents work, what a salary is and where it comes from.
2. He does not know how to give up petty desires for the sake of a “higher goal”. How much to give out as pocket money?

For young children, start with 10 rubles. The amount of pocket money must be fixed. With age, children's needs also grow, so the amount should increase. Increase it annually on the child's birthday as a sign that he is growing. It is advisable for small children (primary school age) to give out pocket money every week, on a certain day, because they will not be able to wait long. Give teenagers pocket money once a month. This will allow the child to learn how to budget.

How to start issuing pocket money?

Talk about it with your child, taking into account his age features. Initially, it is necessary to instill in the child the importance of money, to teach that borrowed money must be repaid and done on time, to teach how to spend it. The child should know that you will teach him how to handle money. Decide which of the expenses will be covered by you and which by him. A mandatory item for using pocket money should be a report on them. Parents should be in control of spending. Parents should always know what they give money to the child.

What can interfere with the financial education of a child?

1. Irregularity (unsystematic) issuance of pocket money and the absence of a fixed amount.
2. Inconsistency in actions. 3. Lack of control over spending pocket money.

Can you earn pocket money?

Teenagers can be offered to earn money so that the child can own experience understand what earnings are and evaluate their work and the work of their parents. They can work as promoters (distributing flyers, participating in various promotions), interviewers, earning money on freelance online exchanges (for schoolchildren, a simple job as a rewriter or, if they have the appropriate skills, processing digital photos to order) is suitable ... But it should be remembered that by law, teenagers can work only from the age of 16, from the age of 14 this is possible only after the written permission of the parents and during the school holidays.

Pocket money is the best simulator of financial independence of children. They provide the child with the opportunity to manage material resources himself, which means that he is aware of his needs, prioritizes accordingly to them and the amount allocated by the parents; plan your spending and exercise control over them, as well as independently draw conclusions. The child will feel like an adult and responsible.

Shmakova O.G.

Psychologist GKUZ "VOTSMP"

Literature:

1. Stein, I. What to do so that your child does not grow up to be a stupid, cynical, boorish loafer / Irma Stein. - St. Petersburg: Prime-EUROZNAK, 2009;
2. Elizabeth Crary "Don't scatter your socks ... or What else a child should be able to do: Tips for parents" / Per. from eng. O.V. Rybakova - M .: Iris-press, 2000.

Internet sources used:

1. http://supermams.ru;
2. http://yaideti.ru http://spiritual_culture.academic.ru/;
3. http://www.internet-kontrol.ru;
4. http://womanadvice.ru;
5. http://womanadvice.ru;
6. http://www.7ya.ru.

Probably this question arises before many parents, and in each family it is solved differently. Of course, a lot depends on the income of the parents. But if your income allows you to give a child a significant amount, what decision do you make?

There is a lot of controversy in our family about this topic. The child defends his opinion to have as much pocket money as possible.

He cites as an example that other children's parents give significant amounts of 300 to 500 rubles a day. It's hard to say whether this is true, or a moment of manipulation. My opinion on this issue is that large amounts of out of pocket expenses form an incorrect attitude towards the issue of the value of money.

The husband also has his own opinion, he believes that the son may not be in a comfortable situation if, in certain cases, he does not have money. If his friends buy sweets or decide to go to the movies, and the child does not have the opportunity to pay for himself, thereby he will be in an awkward situation that may affect his authority.

Another question arises as to whether it is worth encouraging the child or punishing him financially, depending on his academic success. On the one hand, this can stimulate the child’s desire to learn, on the other hand, this desire, in theory, should be formed on the basis of other incentives, such as knowledge of the world, the desire to be the best, achieve goals, etc.

There is also a topic - how to teach a child right attitude about making money? After all, when receiving pocket money from parents, a teenager has no idea how much physical, moral, etc. effort. his parents had to spend to earn this money. Can a teenager earn his own pocket money - what nuances should be taken into account!

How to teach a child the right attitude towards money?

Yesterday I faced another problem with my son's attitude towards money. I overheard his conversation with his father. The child asked to put money on the Internet for some kind of virtual toy.

Buy a virtual horse to become more cool in the game, and then you will also need to feed this horse with hay so that it does not die of hunger and, of course, also for money. The purchase price of a horse was 800 rubles. My indignation knew no bounds. When I calmed down, I took a calculator and suggested that my son make simple calculations.

At first I asked how much he considered significant. The son replied that it would be great if he had 5,000 rubles. Then he could buy two computer toys. I continued:

How many boys in your class would like to purchase such a virtual horse?

Probably 10 guys have already purchased.

And how many classes are there in your school where guys play this toy?

From 4th to 7th you get 12 classes

Let's make it happen preliminary calculations 800*10*12 = 96,000 rubles. Do you think this is a significant amount?

Mom is just a huge amount of money.

Now multiply it by the number of schools in the city, and then by the number of cities.

The son was deep in thought. I asked my key question, for which all these calculations were carried out:

Now think about which side do you want to be on? On the side of those people who earn, or those who mindlessly spend money on virtual advantages? Do you want to be cool or seem like one?

Mom, but even if I really want to, I won’t be able to create such a toy now, besides, it takes a lot of money to create it.

You are absolutely right, you cannot create such a toy now, but it is quite realistic to earn money for what you want to buy.

But I'm still studying and no one will hire me.

I'll take you to work. And I told my son what copyright is (link). To begin with, write me one article, I will check it, and if necessary, you will correct it, taking into account my comments. For the first article I will pay you 100 rubles. And there, let's see how much you can realize in this profession.

Thus, I pursued several goals:

1. To teach a child to write essays (and in this regard, he has not yet succeeded very much),
2. So that he gets the skills to work with the Word program (this will always come in handy),
3. Teach your son the value of money
4. Distract from the idea of ​​meaningless "swelling" of money into virtual coolness,
5. Help my project.

And how do you solve the issue of pocket money, share your stories.

One of the causes of poverty in our country is the inability of people to handle money. We are not taught this either in school or in institutes. Therefore, you can learn this only in your own family. Parents themselves must teach their children how to handle money. Very often, moms and dads have next question, but does the child need pocket money at all? It is definitely necessary to allocate pocket funds to the child, of course, it is worth doing this with a competent approach, and it is imperative to know what you are giving them for.

With age, children have more and more new interests, and this is not surprising: what attracts the attention of a three-year-old baby is unlikely to interest a teenager. And one day the time comes when the child comes to the realization of his need for pocket money.

What is pocket money? This is a powerful material stimulus for the psychological upbringing of children, this is their independence and independence from their parents, the ability to count and calculate, save and accumulate money.

How to teach a child to use pocket money? After all, it is necessary that this money go to his benefit. Initially, it is necessary to instill in the child the importance of money, to teach that borrowed money must be repaid and done on time, to teach how to spend it. You should not give money to a child haphazardly; for this, funds should be allocated certain days when parents give him funds, it can be once a week or a month. With all this, there should not be a lot of pocket money, it should be enough so that the child can buy something he needs.

Let's look at the pros and cons of pocket money.

Pocket money: pros and cons

The benefits of pocket money for children are as follows:

• From childhood, a child learns to manage money, plan his expenses, and sometimes save. This useful skill will definitely come in handy in the future.
• Pocket money will help emergency when you urgently need to call a taxi, buy medicine, etc.
• A child can buy what he considers necessary, and not convince his parents that he needs it, and not beg for money.
• For teenagers from the age of 14, pocket money is doubly important: it allows them to feel more confident. Having your savings, you can not ask your parents for money every time a guy needs, for example, to invite a girl to a movie and buy flowers. And for the girls themselves, a certain financial independence is no less expensive.

The reverse side of the "money" medal are the following disadvantages:

• The child quickly gets used to the fact that there is always money in his pocket, and ceases to appreciate it.
• Children can spend the money that their parents give them not on food and transport, but on cigarettes and low-alcohol drinks. This happens not so rarely, especially in high school age. Fighting this, depriving the child of pocket expenses, is useless. This problem should be solved by preventive conversations about the dangers of these habits.
• The disadvantages of having pocket funds can manifest themselves from the other side, if the pocket funds are spent uncontrollably by the child, therefore, at the beginning of accustoming the child to using money, it is necessary to control his expenses.
• In addition, the disadvantages of self-disposal of pocket money appear when parents do not teach their child how to use it correctly.
• A teenager receives money without putting any effort into it. You can correct this situation by offering him to try to find a part-time job.

Hence, the main purpose of allocating pocket money to children is to provide them with the opportunity to dispose of material resources. He begins to realize his needs, learns to plan and control them, and also begins to realize the value of human labor.

What is pocket money for?

Children gradually become more independent from their parents. At school, they have their own social circle, their own activities and habits. Child school age- this is already an almost formed personality. But at the same time, he has not yet decided on his life goals and continues to experiment, learning from his mistakes and gaining such important life experience. And often this experience requires financial investments.

In addition, being in society, in a school team, the child wants to have his own money, at least in order not to look like a black sheep among more “advanced” classmates or, conversely, to stand out from the crowd and “show off” his comrades.

Why else do you need pocket money? To be able to have a bite to eat at a break, as well as to travel in the subway or taxi, to buy sweets and satisfy other children's desires and needs.

As you can see, opinions on the money issue can be diametrically opposed. And it will be decided in each family in its own way. Perhaps accept correct solution some information from this area of ​​education will help.

At what age should you give your child money for small (and then not very small) expenses?

There are two points of view: either when he learns to count them, or from the moment he enters school. Although often these two moments in a child's life coincide! How to determine whether it is already possible to give him some amount to spend at his own discretion? Ask your preschooler to go to the store from time to time. Does he remember to take change, can he calculate the money given out so that it is enough for the ordered purchases? If you think that he is not yet ready for independent spending, explain why you are refusing. Tell me what you need to learn to get what you want. Naturally, with the start of funding, the child will have (or become more complicated) household duties. Every year on his birthday, you can increase the amount of payments - and, accordingly, negotiate with the child to increase his contribution to housework.

How much pocket money to give?

Many are concerned about the question how much money to give children . It is impossible to give a single answer to it, since it depends on financial well-being each individual family. The amount of funds allocated to the child can be determined by collecting " family council”, which must be attended by the child himself. Let him tell you what needs he needs money for, and depending on this, his weekly budget will be determined.

This is determined by your real family opportunities and common sense. And don't feel bad if you can't give your son or daughter the same amount as their classmates. Say simply and firmly: "I'm sorry, this is what I can give you on this moment". Asking for more? Discuss with him or her the family budget with numbers in hand. Perhaps after some time you will be able to fulfill the request (after paying off a loan or after a planned major purchase). Agree on deadlines, and if you already promised, keep your promise. It may also be that you are not constrained by means. How to determine the upper limit of the issuance of child expenses? Tell me again common sense. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that the amount of pocket money for your child should grow in proportion to the increase in your family budget. The experts seem to agree on one issue. You need to give out pocket money regularly. For those who are younger - once a week; more adults - monthly.

How to issue?

American experts say that there are 4 systems for "issuing" money (and only one of them is good).

1. At any time at his whim (even if there is an agreement with the child on regular payments).

2. Exclusively as a reward for some merit or housework.

3. Regularly to a certain extent, without any conditions or reservations.

4. Also regularly, but with the condition to spend money responsibly.

It is easy to guess that the last one can be called the optimal one. What does "conditionally" mean? First, it is stipulated what expenses these amounts are intended for (school supplies, sweets, entertainment, or something else), and what expenses are completely excluded (for alcohol, cigarettes, etc.). Secondly, parents agree with their son or daughter that they will not deprive their pocket money because of misconduct, but will always demand that certain household duties be performed.

Can you control your child's spending?

Attentive parents have the opportunity to unobtrusively trace where the issued amounts disappear. It is not worth demanding full financial statements, especially from a teenager. With strict control over spending, the very meaning of having pocket money is lost. So the child will never learn to manage them independently. Not to mention the fact that he will not get any pleasure. It is necessary to intervene only if you are firmly convinced that the money is being spent on unworthy purposes. For example, for cigarettes, booze, etc. What if a teenager asks for an extra amount, but does not want to say for what? The most terrible suspicions creep into the parent's head. Think back to that age. For teenagers, with their maximalism and devotion to friends, this can be a matter of life and death. Psychologist Juris Blumbergs believes that it is better to give and then deal with the situation than to refuse and then suffer because they did not support their son or daughter. The “elusive” expenses should be alarming, when there is no material embodiment of these expenses (excuses that they go to discos, don’t know where sweets are eaten, etc.).

Should it be rewarded or punished with money?

Here on this issue you can find a variety of statements. For example, studying is also work, and not the easiest, why not encourage the child? Others emphasize: if he made significant efforts, achieved high results, let him understand that his merits are appreciated, and he will appreciate himself more. But it must be some kind of significant achievement (won the Olympiad in some subject, passed a difficult exam, etc.).

If we are talking about about constant household duties, then they are performed disinterestedly. Each member of the family contributes to household, including the child. True, at home he can sometimes perform significant work that required a lot of time and effort. For example, when building a house, repairing a car or apartment, developing suburban area. Then the "premium" payments will be quite appropriate. At the same time, when giving money to a child, it is worth emphasizing that the main thing in this case is not monetary reward, but the fact that he has mastered a new and difficult job. As for punishments, it is not recommended to completely deprive a child or teenager of pocket money. To reduce the usual amount, perhaps, is permissible - depending on the seriousness of the misconduct.

How to teach a child to handle money?

If it is clear that the money was spent on nonsense or simply lost, do not compensate him for the loss - let him answer for the consequences of his frivolity. Gradually add money for necessary expenses to the amount for ice cream and entertainment. So the child will learn to calculate his budget. For example, at the end of the month you need to buy a ticket, at the beginning of the quarter you need to provide for the purchase of notebooks, etc. Yes, it may happen that the child spends this money for other purposes. Then you will have to add the amount for an urgent purchase (for example, for a travel card) as if in debt. And then deduct it from pocket money. Many children, having received money, spend everything immediately. In this case, try to divide the total amount into small parts and give them to the child 2-3 times a week. Gradually, you can increase these parts.

If a son or daughter is going to make a “big” purchase on their own, help them choose a thing, tell me where you can get a discount. IN European countries Some parents open their own bank account for their child. He learns to perform some banking operations, for example, to handle credit card, calculate the interest from the deposit. From the amount put in his name, he can take money to buy clothes, school supplies, for monthly payment of additional classes, etc. Of course, you will introduce your child to your family accounting. And inform not only about the costs. If the child does not know how much the parents receive, then the family does not have trust in relations with each other. Give your child the opportunity to express their opinion about family spending, participate in planning purchases, trips. Is it worth it in some difficult circumstances to attract the personal funds of the child to the family budget? It is possible that this will help him feel his ownership of the decision. common problem, your need. Of course, then the children's money must be returned.