Get the girl back: What to do after a breakup. Why are the girls leaving? Overview of the "fatal" mistakes guys

In this article, I will answer the question that goes like this: The girl left, what to do?»

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I will answer you personally.

My personal mail: [email protected] (everything is free)

A lot of times guys send me letters just begging help get his now ex-girlfriend back.

All letters are completely different, but if you look closely, then you can see in them 100% similarity.

In fact, any letter from guys consists of several points.

And now I will list them:

I met a girl by chance at a party or in contact, or in social. networks
I really liked the girl and she liked me too
We started to meet and walk every day and realized that we have a lot in common, I constantly gave her flowers, gifts, went to the cinema with her, etc.
A few months passed, and I began to notice that she began to sharply cool off towards me.
We started constant quarrels because of the little things, but I always went to put up first, even if she was wrong
Another month later, she said we weren't right for each other. and we urgently need to leave, after that she began to ignore me
I started calling her every day and beg to come back, told her that I would completely change for her, and everything would work out for us again, but in the end she became more aggressive and blacklisted me in contact.
Now I don't know what to do, I love only her and I don't need anyone else, how to return it?

So, to be honest, the normal adequate feminine girl never leave a real man on which you can fully rely.

And who is mostly dumped by girls?

And now I will list those qualities of guys, because of which a girl just have to leave the guy, because if she doesn’t do it on time, then later she will regret it all her life. Since such a boy will constantly pull her into the swamp and will contribute to the degradation of her feminine qualities.

So, the qualities of guys that lead to complete failure with normal girls:

Need for a girl. If a guy sits at home all day, at the computer and

play in computer games while not making money but just wasting his time on bullshit, then a malignant idea forms in his head. The fact that a girl is everything for him, and there is nothing more important than her in his life and never will be.

As a result of this guy just obsessed with her(because he has nothing else to do) and turns into a dull shit. He begins to constantly call her, get jealous, take offense, throw incomprehensible accusations against her. fills her up teddy bears, which she does not need for nothing and continues to press on her more and more.

Naturally, for a girl, this is the first bell that strange things are happening to her boy for a man.

Self disrespect.

As a result of his terrible neediness, the guy completely loses respect for himself and the girl always checks this.

She gives him various problems and looks at his reaction. But the whole problem is that the guy is ready to go to any stupidity for the sake of his beloved girl. For example, he buys her an expensive phone for his entire salary, and then the whole month the elbow sucks and the girl sees it all and understands that the boy does not respect himself at all, but she does not need such

Inability to meet girls.

If a guy does not know how to meet girls, he falls into a mental trap

Which sounds like this:

Any girl that I accidentally met is my destiny, which means my future wife, so for her sake I have to do anything, and I don’t need another girl.

As a result of this guy begins to forgive his girlfriend for any whims and disrespect for himself, fulfills any of her delusional desires and instructions.

And if he comes across a complete bitch (a man in a skirt), it won’t even occur to him that he urgently needs to part with her, on the contrary, he will boast to all his friends, what is his cheeky girl , although he himself will suffer terribly from this!

So I answer the question: The girl left, what to do?»

First you need to really understand is it worth returning it?, there is a high probability that this girl(man in a skirt) just used you as a henpecked and then threw you in a bucket like garbage, and you still just don't understand it.

You need to understand what is most important for a man - it's his business for which he will go to great lengths. But by doing so, strengthen your willpower and purposefulness.

It can be career growth, your own business, Gym(for example, you want to become a master of sports), car racing, etc.

That is, you must understand what your purpose is and move in this direction.

And only in second place there goes a girl , but not at first, this is nonsense!

Every a real man should be able to meet girls to choose the best of them, so as not to run into masculine girls

If you complete all these 3 points, then there are 2 options:

You will understand that your ex girlfriend you were a bitch and you will find yourself a new womanly girl
Your girlfriend will understand that you have become a different person, you have become a man and she will return to you in six months - a year!

This article is only a small part of what is on my sites, they contain a lot of useful and practical information on this and other topics of interest to you. You can immediately successfully use this information in practice with girls without wasting your time. Now I have 2 sites this is lesha-dok..

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If you have a question for me, then write, I I will answer you personally.

My personal mail: [email protected] (everything is free)

What the guys say about the articles:

“Lesha, from the moment I started reading your articles, I have changed my life a lot. If you apply your advice, then not only relationships with girls change, but in general the whole life. Now I live like a MAN, and the girls feel it))”
Egor, Moscow

“Thank you so much, Lesha!!! The advice from your articles is useful, they change their own psychology and attitude towards the world and towards girls. Now everything in my life has changed dramatically. Thankful to you!"
Maxim, Ukraine

"Alexei, thanks a lot you for what you do. You help people find each other, while breaking all the stereotypes of the behavior of guys with girls. After your advice, it becomes easier to communicate with girls and live in general. It turns out that everything is simple!)

"If your girlfriend left for another,
then it is not yet known
who is luckier."

Hello dear friend. You are not happy today. Are there many questions on our topic of today's conversation? You got the answers to them. So what if the girl left for another guy? I know it's hard, I loved, I cared, but here she is ... But let's analyze the situation in order and summarize.

Some things may offend you, some words you will scream: “I'm not like that!” - This is fine. An impulsive reaction in this situation can be anything. The task is to cool down with emotions and turn on your head. We proceed to a cold analysis of the situation.

First, let's decide that we are considering an ideal situation - the girl is ideal, except for one thing - she went to live with another man. Because finding out who is right and who is wrong in a couple is cooler than Harry Potter with its secret basements in traditional Chinese. And secondly, you love her very much, which is why you end up killing her.

your condition

Depressed mood, thoughts about her, the desire to see her next to me, and that it was good as before. All you need is her. There won't be any more. You want to hear her apologies, see her tears and plead for you, to allow her to return after such a betrayal. And all this is seasoned with oppressive mental pain.

Friends, the above experiences are a natural human reaction to such stress. But now I need a cool head from you.

Bad because...

You are used to it.
Invested in it spiritually and financially.
I got hooked on the emotions that she gave.
It's comfortable with her.
He became attached to her specific "chips" in everyday life, sex, etc.
___________ (add your own, write in the comments)

Something went wrong

There can be a lot of reasons, but let me tell you about the top ones, and you will determine your own.

Passed love, and to each other, you failed or missed the time and moment.
Different social status. You are a student - she is from a wealthy family.
Big age difference either way.
Different views on relationships, family, children.
Women don't want to see a man's weaknesses. Guys often put her desires before their own, are jealous of every pillar, fulfill her whims, silently endure disrespect for themselves and their affairs, do not have a goal in life or give up their aspirations because of her.
They don't care if you love her or not, if she doesn't love you.

One day you can change spontaneously, but you can’t go to another. This is a made decision. You were so inattentive to her that you missed the stage of cooling down, her mood swings and passion for new or former partner. And he also did not determine that she was being seduced and lured away.
Women with a normally configured "filter" do not specifically prefer the money itself, as paper pulp(we are not talking about employees of the ancient profession - priestesses of love who eat and love), but to get it.
A confident man is always a priority.
Like you now, she does not need. This means that as soon as you change outwardly, morally, professionally, she can easily consider you as a party again.

What not to do

No need to beg to stay, to promise mountains of gold and goulash from your own liver.
Call, constantly send SMS and thereby amuse her pride and raise self-esteem.
To show that you are afraid to be left without her, that you will no longer have such people, and she is the best thing that happened to you in life. Thus, you only confirm her decision. This is bad. She doesn't need to know about it, even if it's true for you.
Set whining statuses in in social networks, pictures with pain and verses. This does not work. It came. Surrounding people do not care about feelings. She now too. Pity is not the best leverage for fixing a relationship.
Ask about her new boyfriend. Find out why he is better than you. And is it something you really need to know? To beat yourself up even more.
He says that he is leaving to live with another, so that you would stir and begin to conquer her again? Be sure to start ... hostilities of the bed profile with another lady at your pleasure.

What to do

You need to fill the emotions from her, new and stronger.
Conduct free time not with a glass at the monitor with your photos, but in a large and noisy group of friends.
The more new acquaintances, the better.
You can call girlfriends with whom you could not communicate with her. Now you can do it.
Make new emotions unforgettable - several parallel acquaintances and sex with more than one girl? Here is your creed and the cure for the blues.
Devote yourself to a new-old hobby, business. Was she against hunting and fishing? So go to the Amazon rainforest for a week and shoot the toothiest crocodile!
Distracted from work? Now you have trump cards in your hands, to get the position of the head of the department, with your diligence and hard work above the norm.
You have to get over the loss of a loved one at least once in your life. If you manage with yourself, the vaccine will remain for life.
Change your style - rearrange the house, throw away the excess, change your hair, buy what you really want, and did not decide before, or she was against it. Go take a break anywhere.
Understand - if she leaves for another, you are already an ex. He is real.
Understand male mind specifically, what has changed in you: you got fat, you didn’t give her flowers or scored on your business.

Subtotal

The task is to make a decision as calmly as possible. During the dialogue, find out what specifically influenced such an act. All the crap that you are so good, and you will remain friends. That it's not about you, but about her - let it pass by your ears. These words mean nothing. Her opinion for you, should no longer have weight.

Even if she tells you, know that you will never know the whole truth. These are women.

Analytically figure out what attracted and kept you close to her this time. "Great boobs!" - this is over the reason, but purely for a 16-18 year old guy calculated. So give yourself more analysis and specifics.

Don't delay breaking up. Live together - define specific dates for the next few days. Living with traitors is not comme il faut. Wool is easier to pull out in one quick movement.

Direct the freed time and consciousness to another vector of your life. Be the best version of yourself! Why not an incentive to fuck the whole world from a charge of anger at an ex-girlfriend.

Return attempt. Nada?

Twice and think very carefully - whether it is necessary to return it. I say unequivocally - do not let her see herself as an alternate airfield. “After all, we will remain friends, right?” Of course it's true! On weekends we will go to the bathhouse, repair my car in the garage and in the summer we will fill the formwork together country house. Not funny? And it should be.

“Over time, we’ll figure out who we should be friends with.”

It is not necessary to be her reader of lamentations in SMS, mail and networks, as the new macho does not act as he should. You are not a good advice bureau.

If you know that she has a different main, think about whether it is necessary to beat her off, because where there is an isolated case, there the system can be seen. Do you have nothing else to do than jump around your "blessed" with a sword and shout "Zashibu!" to everyone?

It rings, you see: “My bunny”, on the screen and immediately melt, and you can’t speak calmly? Rename her contact to "Sleeping with another", you'll see, when she calls, you don't want to be fluffy and run at her request wherever she wants. Change your mind right away.

I repeat once again - it is possible to sleep with someone unconsciously if she was seduced competently. But you can’t quickly take a person out of a relationship. So she already lived with her head for two men, or was with you “so as not to be alone” until a suitable one turns up. Turned up.

Think. But know that often, in order to return the old one, you need more resources and strength than to start a new relationship with a stranger.

The return of the woman's prodigal daughter

It happens. It turned out he wasn't the one. And you are so cool: how do you understand me like no one else! And blah blah blah. What am I, a friend went for a walk, and now she wants to return.

My friend, I understand that in life, as in GTA V, it happens in different ways, but have a sense of your own dignity! You are not a store that is exchanged for another on the days of promotions.

Imagine a picture: one unit fought for another country, and again returned to you with a question: “Yes, something is not as cool there as you have here. Let us fight for you again against them.”

I will make a small footnote: the option that you have common child is not considered here. There are only two of you. More precisely, three, with her boyfriend.

The decision is yours, of course, but no matter how these inverted "rakes" are fired every year on the days of the spring solstice. Do you know what I mean?

Summary

Gritting our teeth, we start a new one personal life. There are no replacements. The best, sweet, good, obedient girls live next to you in the same yard, well, maximum in the next one! Look around! You don't have to dwell on the past. It's already happened. We must survive. And you already have everything for this.

If it will be easier for you, then I will tell you that she will constantly compare him with you. And no matter how cool he is, in some positions, anyway, you will be in the lead, winding her up with the thought of you and the correctness of her decision.

Alea jacta est or as the pilots say: the point of no return has been passed. Relive this negative event. Don't hold a grudge against her, just cross it out of your emotions. Yes loved, but now you have two different lives. So live yours!

There is something to tell in the comments - do not hesitate to write. Well done for having the strength and patience to listen to this.

Now the most difficult thing is to start putting the above into practice.

I sincerely support you as a man, and wish you a good and faithful woman by your side.

Anything that doesn't kill
makes us stronger.

The relationship between a man and a woman is still a mystery, which even very difficult to guess. wise man. And there is only one reason - there are no identical people, there are no identical relationships. How to answer the question why girls leave unambiguously if, firstly, girls are different, secondly, guys also do not look alike, and thirdly, relationships develop every time different scenario.

But, all the same, let's consider the most common causes the fact that the girlfriend left for another guy.

Passed love - withered tomatoes

So the people say, but you can’t throw out the words from the song. Well, love cannot pass, in my opinion. Love is a gift from above, whatever it is. If, as you or your girlfriend think, the candle of love has gone out forever, then your song is not about this feeling. Simply, the feeling of falling in love dissipated and your beloved was drawn to new exploits.

If you value this girl, then always try to keep her interested in you. Often love must mature, do not rush things. Be yourself, take into account the interests of your beloved, do not turn relationships into everyday “maybe today we will watch football”, etc. Don't let her disappoint you.

The girl wants to leave because of a lack of attention or, conversely, because of your excessive attention. Here it is as it happens, then she has little attention, then - a lot. Give her attention exactly as much as she requires, dividing in half. Never go too far, always leave the girl time to feel a little sad. As they say, suffering breeds love. If you can’t refuse yourself to call her every hour, turn off the phone, even better, forget it on purpose at home - let the day worry, of course you should apologize, it’s better to come to her house with a bouquet of roses and warm words: “Kitten, I'm sorry, I was in a hurry to work, I forgot my phone. You were worried, my dear, I'm sorry again.
The girl went to ex boyfriend. If the choice was made in favor of the ex-boyfriend, then either she loves him very much, or you could not surpass him in something. Well, every failure must be taken philosophically, drawing the appropriate conclusions.
Excessive obedience of the guy. It means when a guy listens in everything, even obeys the opinion of his mother, sister, etc. You are already an adult, the fact that you have not formed your own worldview speaks of your immaturity and unpreparedness for a serious relationship. In this case, if the girl left, she is unlikely to return.
Did not live up to expectations, do not meet the requirements. Hopes and demands are placed on guys more often by calculation. For example, the hope for your prestigious job is a clear indicator of her commercialism, the hope that you will take her to restaurants every Saturday - similarly, the hope that you will take your head, enter a prestigious university or something in terms of your self-development - the normal desire of a loving or caring person. If you do not try to become better - you show your indifference to the interests of the girl. In a relationship, you need to be able to give and take, sometimes sacrifice something.
Your inability to listen, your excessive attention to other members of the fair sex, your rude attitude. Remember, if you value a girl, then relationships should be built on mutual trust and respect. Without this, even a girl who is very in love with you will leave by slamming the door.

“Every success story starts with something unpleasant. But not everyone can do correct conclusions from defeats.

- Roman Vinilov.

Surely you are now in shock from such a statement, especially if you are still indulging in suffering and do not know what to do. I understand that when a girl left you, it's hard to come to terms with it. It seems that all Life is going awry, and finding the motivation to do something is extremely difficult. But believe me, what just happened is probably the best thing that happened to you in a long time. Lately. And now I will try to prove it. I hope that after you finish reading, your mood will change for the better.

The first thing that is useful to understand is that if you think that somewhere in the world there is “the one, the only one”, then you are severely mistaken.

You are not made for each other

This is imposed on us by culture: cinema, television, literature and education. Like, each of us somewhere has a "half" that suits us perfectly. And if you find it - this is real happiness. No. There are no "halves", people brought together by fate itself - period. No one will make you happy if not yourself. It is impossible to find such a person who would be comfortable in everything. It is a myth.

In addition, we are not all that special, no matter how harsh it may sound. Some modern girls, just like modern guys, it is impossible to distinguish from each other. We are brought up the same way, consume the same content, strive to be like the same screen stars. The boundaries have been erased. If earlier people from different cities were really different, now we exchange information so quickly that distances do not matter.

The guys screwed up. There are a lot of those around who are not responsible for their own destiny, not that for someone else. And a real man is not afraid of loneliness, he is popular with girls. So, purely statistically, you can always find a more beautiful, more understanding, more intelligent and sexy girl than the one that left you. Or at least not inferior to the one that was. Yes, it sounds cynical, but by and large it is true.

In principle, this statement could end the conversation, but we are not looking for easy ways. So let's continue.

Why is it good?

When something changes dramatically in life, we have the opportunity to rethink everything. Understand what we can easily do without, and what is really important to us. In other words, any shake-up in the current comfortable world in all respects is useful. Most people simply lack some kind of movement and going beyond the comfort zone.

Perhaps you will understand that these or any other serious relationship(on this moment or in general) you do not need. Often, after parting, people radically change their lives: they move to another city, change jobs, start doing what they have always dreamed of. After all, if you think about it, then a sharp turn is possible up to a certain age, and it is because of a deadlocked relationship (marriage) that many people lose precious years. There is a chapter on this topic in Mikhail Weller's wonderful book The Adventures of Major Zvyagin - I can't help but recommend it to everyone who wants to change their lives for the better.

The girl left. What's next?

Let's figure out what you can get useful if the relationship can no longer be restored.

Invaluable knowledge and experience, which are difficult to obtain otherwise. Parting is always stressful and testing for both partners. It is important to fix in memory your and her behavior and analyze. You will understand how girls can behave in different situations. But most importantly, you learn a lot about yourself. And the deeper you analyze the situation, the more you will discover what you need to work with in order to become better. If one relationship crumbled, that is good chance avoid mistakes in the following. The main thing is to draw the right conclusions.

Time. Whatever your relationship, and even more so marriage, you don’t even suspect how much time they take from you. The time that you can use for your own development, career, travel and recreation. Your girlfriend is gone, and now you have this precious resource again. There are many videos on the Internet that explain in just a couple of minutes how little time each person has. Perhaps this is the most important thing we have. Use it to the maximum, and you will understand that after the breakup, your life has changed only for the better. Realizing the value of time, you will no longer give it to just anyone.

Money. This is the first thing that becomes noticeable when a girl leaves. Out of nowhere, free money appears - although you did not earn more. And this is exactly the tool that will help you make the most of your free time. Now you can afford many of the things you never thought about in a relationship. But in time life together your earnings could increase, and you did not even feel it. Perhaps you will like financial independence so much that you do not want to be in chains again.

Gone doesn't mean she won't come back

If you read my blog, then you know that the girls are leaving, and we are successfully bringing them back. But the most important and interesting thing happens after the return. Some of the guys realize that they brought the girls back just for the sake of the fact itself, and at that moment they just leave her. The other part comes to a completely non-obvious conclusion: she left, and it turned out to be for the best. After all, after the reunion, many relationships become much better than before. For both, this becomes a good kick and has a positive effect on the rest of their lives.

In short, in order to return the girl, you need to become a real man for her again. And so that after returning the relationship does not fall apart again, you need to be such not just in her imagination, but for real. In many ways, the return process is work on yourself. It is not the wrapper that changes, but the content, and both partners begin to enjoy the union in which everything is in its place.

The guys who come to me change, and then they are sincerely amazed that many problems in the relationship disappear. All because they were associated with carelessness and infantilism, which will forever remain in the past. The return of the girl puts your whole life on the right track. That is, the moment when the girl leaves becomes the starting point for positive changes. They were needed before, but there was no need to carry them out right now. In general, such a good magic pendel.

And it's not that a man must be a monogamous family man. As I said, perhaps you will understand that this is not about you at this stage. The point is the path that you will go through in the process of returning - it will teach you a lot, change a lot. But only if you go all the way. You can go to the gym, put yourself in order in a couple of months - and then score on everything and calm down. Of course, the girl will leave such a guy again. And it will be right. Not only the result is important, but also the process. And such an event as bad at first glance as the departure of a girl will lead to a good outcome only if it motivates you to change in the long term.

There is one more nuance. When you get your ex back, you will truly respect yourself. This is very important for a man. We love to compete and win. At this point, testosterone is released. Once you've tasted one victory, you'll want to taste it again and again. In the process of returning correctly, you will learn to manage emotions - this will help you in later life.

Is the girl gone? Rejoice! Use this situation to your advantage. And we can help you with this.

Instructions: how to get your girlfriend back. 5 steps.

What to do right now

So your girlfriend left you. I stopped appreciating you and went looking for a better life. Her assessing look tells you that you are not the prince she dreamed of. It's a disappointment because you don't seem to live up to her expectations.

Your goal is not to adapt to her expectations, but to occupy significant position in her eyes. Now your balance of significance violated. Even if some time ago you were a close couple, by her decision now you are apart. Now she is free and you have no right to demand love and attention from her. To get her back, you need to build a relationship anew and fall in love with her.

There is one general rule which you must remember.

Never talk about relationships if they don't exist.

Don't sort things out
Don't confess your love
Don't ask me to come back
Accept that she's gone

This text is for those who have already cried and pulled themselves together. If you constantly lose self-control, you first need to find it.

Each of the 5 steps is part of a balanced strategy. Here she is:

Disappear - -> Change - -> Appear - -> Seduce - -> Rebuild the relationship

disappear

60% of situations are solved - total ignore.

You can object: “She will forget me and find herself another!” This is a typical fear, especially if the girl is beautiful. At first, ignoring only means that you stop texting and calling her every hour. After a day or two, she begins to notice it. And if before that you were extremely annoying, she will begin to feel a lack of communication.

Admit you're not in right now best form. Your nerves are shattered, your pride is wounded, you look like a puppy thrown out into the street in the middle of winter. It takes time to regain human form.

Stop looking for connections with her and go straight to the second point.

change

She is no longer yours. The right to meet must be earned. Therefore, the transformation period is the most important. Need to change. And not in words, but in deeds.

I am sometimes asked: “Can I pretend?” It is possible, but you will have to spend as much effort as with real changes, but these efforts are useless. Sooner or later the deception will be revealed. Playing all the time is stupid.

For many, change means changing clothes. But even if you grow a beard and make cool tattoo- this will not mean that you have changed in what you should have.

The girl leaves for specific reasons. This is usually associated with one of five unattractive qualities for her:

Permanent tight control
Low self-esteem
Constant "begging" for attention from a woman
strong jealousy
Self-affirmation at the expense of a woman

If you recognize yourself in them - draw conclusions. It's much easier to walk away from a guy who exhibits these qualities.

There are more attractive qualities - about 20. And these are the qualities that you need to develop in yourself. Choose at least three of them in which you are not strong and start changing.

There are 2 ways to change:

Actually change, but don't talk about it

If you were jealous - now just don't ask her where and with whom she spent time, be calmer. He was fixated on work - now listen carefully to what the girl is talking about. Do you want to become more self-sufficient: the very tone of future correspondence can clearly show this.

Tell stories from your life in which you showed yourself differently than before. Do not get carried away with bragging, you just need to mention it in passing. He was irresponsible, unreliable - in between times tell me that you promised to hang a shelf for your mother and hung it up. Was hyper-obsessive - tell me how much fun you had with your friends. I worked nights and days - tell me how you turned off Wi-Fi for the weekend and spent time in nature.

Of course, one small change is not enough. The change plan should be ambitious and well thought out for a week or a month in advance.

Here is an example of an action plan that I create with a client.

Or: See how detailed you need to plan changes.

Set clear goals for yourself and write down your results.

There must be a realistically measurable criterion that you are changing.

You should see the result: 2 weeks ago you thought about her every minute, called her 4 times a day and sobbed into the pillow, and now you don’t cry and you can spend time without her and enjoy it.

When she left, you were unreliable, constantly forgetting your promises and never getting the job done on time, and now you have taken on the responsibility of helping the family, not making promises if you are not ready to keep them, and trying to do everything on time.

Term of changes and ignore

You need to get in touch no later than 2 weeks later. If at least one communication channel remains, then you need to use it.

To appear

Write - -> Call - -> Meet

Remember: You only have three attempts to return. Appreciate them.

1. Wrote - > she is silent or communication is not built - > the first attempt burned down.

2. Called - > she did not answer or the communication went badly - > the second attempt also burned out.

3. Invited to a meeting - > she refused or the meeting went badly - > you burned out all three attempts.

Many people think that you need to write and call until the girl returns. I called once - I will call 100 more times. People do not understand what they have to return limited quantity attempts. When I talk about this, a person begins to appreciate his actions and weigh his every word.

Three tries is the rule. This means that you need to forget about the girl and move on if she does not want to communicate with you. By continuing to impose your communication on her, you will only make it worse.

- -> Write

One of the tasks when returning: to fall in love with yourself again.

Start the correspondence with the news and the counter question “how are you?”. The news should be cheerful and evoke emotions. People usually have a dull life, so they are always happy to "feed off" other people's emotions, listen to something exciting. It attracts. In addition, the girl expects from you that you will write as before, how bad you feel without her. And the good news speaks of changes, at least in your thinking.

You don't have to answer her right away.. Wait a couple of minutes, then an hour, then more. Not responding to messages right away is normal. You are a free man. You can be busy at work or travel by public transport. No need to justify.

Chat and make a pause in the dialogue on her cue for a day. It would be better if it was her question. This will create a lack of communication. This is called "delayed replica". If she starts writing again or calling, you don't need to answer. Create intrigue.

Your text should be smaller than hers. This is a subtle mechanism for managing the balance of significance. If a girl answers your news briefly and without interest, you need to end the communication faster, without saying goodbye, and switch to other methods of communication. I'll have to disappear again for a week to call her later.

Correspondence should last until you are ready for the first call.

- -> Call

Each stage brings you one small step closer to the girl.

The first call should grab the girl's attention. She should talk to you like interesting person, so the call must be prepared very carefully - like a presentation to an important client. Tell her about a cool thing that happened to you recently. This story must be carefully rehearsed. "Test" it on another girl and see what kind of reaction it causes and what questions the girl can ask in response. Good story evokes emotions: laughter, delight, surprise. If the female tester does not react to her in any way, then the story is bad or you are telling it badly. It doesn't matter how much you have to rehearse. Imagine that this call is the only thing you have to get her back. If you fail him, then it will be difficult.

Work out the reason for the call. If you don’t want to feel the dumb question “why are you telling me all this?”, then you need to explain your call. If you can’t think of anything, just say: “I decided to call you, I don’t know why. Haven't talked in a long time. How are you doing?". Your story should not resemble a call from a call center.

Never talk about relationships if they don't exist.

Don't sort things out
Don't confess your love
Don't ask me to come back
Let the girl be free

If she listens, asks questions, then you are on the right way. Interest returns. If not, tell her that you were pleased to hear her voice. This will relax her. She won't feel like you want something from her. You just called to chat and see how she was doing. Goodbye!

The second call should restore her trust in you. If the first call you were preparing a story, now you are ready to listen to all her thoughts and everything that is important to her. How is your mom? Like Dad? How is study? The first call is a test call. It shows that you do not require anything and are quite adequate. He needs to take the pressure off. The second and third call - makes you closer. Therefore, increase the time of the call. Each stage brings you one small step closer to the girl. Move very carefully towards the target so as not to frighten it away. The worst thing is to put pressure: to set conditions, to bargain. And you need to fall in love again and win it again. We need to communicate like free people.

The fourth call is needed to invite her to a meeting. Find a reason. Invite her to an exhibition, a concert or a friend's birthday. It's better than being invited to a restaurant. "I'm going ___. Let's go together!" - that should be the message. This is a non-committal meeting, from which she knows what to expect: something interesting. You go just to spend time together, not to sort things out. She must understand this.

- -> Meet

Don't jump right into the fight. You need to break down the resistance.

At the meeting, you have to fall in love with her again. Tell a new rehearsed story. Show me how you've changed. Remember: now she is not yours, which means you do not need to behave like an owner or needy. Be self-sufficient: you meet to spend time together and nothing more. Don't pressure her.

At the second meeting, kinesthetics can begin. Touch her like you're getting close for the first time. If she doesn't mind, you can kiss her. Don't rush to drag her back to bed. Keep calm. Grass the line: break the kiss yourself and say goodbye. Don't wait for her to say she's not ready yet. If she's not ready for kinesthetics, save it for another time.

On the third date, you can be more active. If she let him kiss her the last time, then she has already become noticeably closer. You can move on to seduction and build relationships anew.

seduce

You were already lovers. Most likely, you know what to do next.

Rebuild relationships

So that the girl does not leave the relationship again, you need to ensure that the reasons for parting do not arise again. By the time she leaves, it's too late to make a fuss, so it's best to prevent problems ahead of time.

Why people break up:

Unmet Needs
Significance imbalance
Unmet expectations
Loss of interest

You can read more about what this means in other materials. (links)

We have discussed the main steps to take to win back a chilled girl: Disappear - -> Change - -> Appear - -> Seduce - -> Rebuild the relationship.

As you have already noticed, the main thing in this path is your transformation and patience. She does not want to go back to where she left - no problem. You're not trying to bring back the past. You disappear to reappear, and in the future everything will be different. Calculate when approximately this will happen and do not try to rush things. Direct your vector to the future. A couple of weeks - to ignore and change. A couple more weeks - for correspondence and calls, and only a month later - a meeting. Stock up on patience! You have a chance to change, and this is no less important than getting the girl back.