How to teach your son to communicate with girls: important tips. Friendship between boys and girls. Caring for girls is a law for men

Conducted by: Tkachenko T.P.

Goals:

Teach mutual understanding and respect for each other.

To instill in boys masculinity, independence, respect for girls and women.

Awaken the desire in boys to educate themselves best qualities.

Teach that both boys and girls should be good friends.

Equipment:

Poster (boys’ world, girls’ world), a piece of paper with the word “conflict”, cards on which character traits are written, a sword, the “True Knight” order, markers, musical equipment, a laptop.

Greetings.
- Good afternoon guys! I hope that communication will bring you pleasure and give you a boost of vigor and good mood for the whole day.

Game "My Mood"

Guys, I suggest you play the game “I’m in the mood...because...”.
(Children say what mood they came in with and what or who it looks like, using tokens “Sun, cloud, rain.”)

Conclusion: I'm glad everyone came with good mood, since it will help us in our work, and with in a cheerful mood it is easier to overcome various challenges.

Let's talk
- The theme of our educational hour will be determined by the song “From what, from what...?”, who knows, sing along (song sounds)
- Who is this funny song about?

The theme of our educational hour is “Friendship between boys and girls.”».
« Caring attitude to girls is the law for men.”

Now I will read excerpts from conversations between boys and girls. Your task is to find out : who is talking about himself - a boy or a girl.
If it's a boy, then the boys will clap, and if it's girls, then just sit quietly.

I like to play football with my friends, so I always go to tracksuit and sneakers.

    I love shopping, trying on different outfits and showing off in front of the mirror.

    I like films about war.

    I really love climbing trees and I never cry, even if I fall.

    I always watch my posture and try to walk gracefully.

    I like to do renovations in the apartment with my dad.

    I love sewing dresses for my toys.

Guys, was it easy for you to determine who was talking about themselves? Why?

Today we will talk about how boys differ from girls, and girls differ from boys. What qualities should a boy have and what qualities should a girl have?

Educator. Each of you, of course, has a friend in the class, from other classes. Name your friends.
- How does your friendship manifest itself? (children's answers)

Educator: Listening to you and getting acquainted with the names of your friends, I came to the conclusion that boys do not have friends among girls. And why?

(We have already realized how different boys and girls.)

Discussion “Who is to blame?”

I talked to girls, and they say: “Yes, it’s all the boys’ fault.”

Boys are sometimes just bored during recess, so they bully girls so that they chase them

Boys are simply jealous that girls study better and behave better, and teachers praise them more often.

It is the boys who must yield to the girls, because they must be knights.

The boys are to blame, they are supposed to be protectors, but they themselves constantly offend the girls.

Example statements boys:

Boys:

Girls are most often to blame. They tease the boys all the time, make fun of the boys, tease them, and that's what they get.

Girls are always the first to complain, even though it is their own fault. And boys don’t like it when they tell lies.

Girls cannot admit their guilt; they always want to be right. And they must give in.

Educator. Or maybe both sides are to blame - they just don’t want to understand each other?

Conversation “Boys and girls - two different worlds»

Educator. We can say that girls and boys are two different worlds.

Girls and boys are different from birth and also develop differently. Scientists have found that they have different brains, different psyches, different development paths. A boy and a girl look and see differently, listen and hear differently, speak and remain silent, feel and experience differently.

Why do you think women are called the “weak half of humanity” and men are called the “strong”?

Examples of children's statements:

There have always been men stronger than women- they fought, hunted, lifted weights.

Women did housework, they did not have to train their muscles, learn to wield weapons, they were physically weaker.

Educator. And some believe that both men and women are strong in their own way.

For example, boys have larger brains, boys have a tendency to explore new spaces, which is why they are so interested in means of transportation and influence (machines, tools). Boys think faster in difficult situations and know how to accept non-standard solutions. And girls are very well oriented in the usual space, in what surrounds them. In everyday life, girls are more practical than boys. Girls are more obedient, efficient, and they adapt to changes more easily.

On the board you see two circles: one is the world of boys, the other is the world of girls.

What would you place in a boy's world? (Cars, weapons, tools, construction sites, sports, etc.)

What does the world of girls consist of? (Outfits, children, food, home, dishes, etc.)

It turns out that what boys lack, girls have, and vice versa. Why do you think nature ordered it this way? (Because boys and girls complement each other.)

That's right, they complement each other, and together they are stronger. It’s as if two circles have merged, and the place where they merge is our common world, in which both boys and girls feel good.

Let's try to understand and accept our boys and girls as different and beautiful in their own way as nature created them.

Educational information(children read)

Boys and Girls have many similar character traits and the main thing is to be able to respect each other and get along with each other, because we have been studying together for many years.
There can certainly be friendship between girls and boys. It is based on the same principles as friendship between same-sex children. Except that same-sex children trust each other with their secrets more easily, and there are also purely boyish and girlish interests, and as a result, boyish and girlish interests. role-playing games, for example, “Daughters - Mothers”, “Into the War”.

Conclusion: All this helped us see once again how different boys and girls are. But do we have much in common? We study together, we live together. We grow, we rejoice, we dream. And we have a choice: we can leave it as it is, i.e. girls are on their own, and boys are on their own, or you can unite into one world and live in peace and harmony with each other.
Let's write it down in the general world: school, work, hobbies, etc.

Reading and discussion of a poem by S. Mikhalkov

"The boy and the girl were friends"

The boy valued his friendship.

Like a comrade, like an acquaintance

As a friend, he more than once

I walked her home

Before the gate at a late hour.

Very often with her

He went to the stadium

And about her as a bride

He never thought.

But parents, philistines,

They said this about them:

“Look! To our Tanya

The groom started showing up!”

The neighbors open the door,

They smile: “Hello!

If you are with Tanya, Fedya,

Then the bride is not at home!”

Even at school, even at school

Conversations sometimes went on:

“What are they watching in the Komsomol?

Is this friendship?! Oh oh oh"

It's worth appearing together

Behind my back: “Hee hee”

Ivanov decided to get married

Signed up as a groom!

The boy and the girl were friends

The boy valued his friendship!

And he didn't think of falling in love,

And I didn’t know until now

What will it be called

The stupid word “boyfriend!”

Clean, honest and open

The boy's friendship was

And now she is forgotten.

What happened to her? She died.

Died from stupid jokes

Evil laughs and whispers,

From bourgeois jokes,

Fools and vulgar people.

Questions: Why do you value friendship? What does it mean to be a good friend? What joys and sorrows are there in friendship? What broke the friendship between a boy and a girl?

Reading a story « Experiment"
V. Konyukhova

In one class there was a meeting after school. They talked about school, about studying, and, in general, about life. And somehow, on its own, a dispute arose. Who has an easier life? Boys or girls? The boys, of course, began to claim that life was easier for girls, there was no doubt about that. And girls, on the contrary, stand on what is easier, after all, for boys. The argument got so bad that the class leader, Nastya Vershinina, had to slam her fist on the table:

    Quiet! Why are you so noisy! It would be better if they offered something sensible!
    And then Lyova Potekhin stood up.

    “I propose,” said Lyova, “to switch roles!” We boys will be girls, and girls will be boys. Then we will find out who has an easier life! - he sat down.

    Well, inventor! - Tolya Kolokolchikov laughed. - Invented!

    Like this? - Ira Baranova opened her mouth. - Unclear! Everyone started making noise again.

    Explain! - Kostya Gromov shouted to Lev.

Leva stood up again. It became quiet.

We boys will live like girls for a while, and girls will live like boys! Conduct yourself accordingly! - Lev outlined the situation. - Now it is clear?

    Wow! - Vitya Druzhkov clapped Lev on the shoulder. - Wow! And this is real!

And I wanted to add something else, but then Dasha Khlopkova jumped up from her seat:

    Bravo! Great idea Lev! Need to try!

    And what? - the whole class picked it up. - Interesting! Maybe then our dispute will really be resolved?

It was clear that the proposal for boys to be girls and girls to be boys offended everyone. It was... somehow unusual! But, I must admit, it is quite real. Feasible. No other ideas came to anyone’s mind.

Everyone made a little noise, and Nastya put an end to the meeting:

    All! WITH tomorrow and let's start living in a new way!

The next day, in the morning, all the boys and girls were not themselves. Well, they were themselves, they just behaved differently. Not as always. Boys began to behave as girls usually behaved, and girls began to behave as boys always behaved. Of course, it was difficult to adapt like this right away, but everyone tried.

During lessons, the boys behaved quietly, diligently folding their hands and listening carefully to their teachers. Girls are disgusting! - sent various messages to their cell phones, glued pens to the tables and made a fuss! They picked up comments from teachers!

During recess, the boys, naturally, stood peacefully in circles and whispered, and the girls ran around like a bandwagon. Sometimes they ran up to the boys and, making breathtaking faces, pinched them.

It's time for the last lesson.

    Hello! - the boys greeted politely as they entered the classroom for their home economics lesson. - Can?

    Are you coming to me, boys? To class? - teacher Vera Pavlovna was surprised. -Where are the girls?

    “They went to a labor lesson,” explained Gena Rodionov.

    Make stools.

    Ah, got it! - Vera Pavlovna smiled. - Have you decided to change places with the girls? I don't ask about the reason. Fine! I think this will do you good. Well, come in, sit down. Let's learn to sew!

Well, the boys have suffered with these needles! No words can describe it! Some even had sweat on their foreheads! That's how much tension there was! And Zhenya Tatushkin’s hands turned out to be punctured! It's painful!

    I wish I could do this sewing again! So that I could be a girl! - Zhenya let off steam after last call. - Never!

None of the boys convinced Zhenya. Everyone was sick, frankly, all day long! This unpleasant feeling especially manifested itself towards the end of the lessons! And knitting, apparently, has filled everyone’s cup of male patience.

    Let us be girls for once! - Walking along the corridor, the boys waved their arms.

It turned out that the girls could barely wait for the end of their studies! All the poor things are exhausted! It was especially pitiful to look at Sveta Krotova. After she hit her finger with a hammer not on the head of a nail, but on her finger, her entire nail turned black!

    So I can go make stools again! So that I could be a boy! - Sveta was indignant. - Not for any price!

And other girls echoed Sveta.

    May we at least someday be boys! - they walked along the corridor towards the boys.

That's how we met. And of course, a meeting was organized again. Spontaneously. Right in the corridor.

    What proposals will there be? - class leader Nastya Vershinina looked around tiredly at everyone.

Leva stepped forward, who started this whole mess with a change of roles. Decidedly came out like that! Of course, I wanted to make amends for my guilt.

    I propose... this... - Lyova Potekhin coughed into his fist, - boys should be boys again, and girls - girls! Here!

    Right! - Apparently, having gained additional strength from the words he heard, Borya Bulavin threw up his bag with notebooks. - Reverse transformation! Hooray!

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief!

It would be better not to argue!

Analysis of the work
Guys, why do you think boys and girls couldn’t come to an understanding?

What helped classmates change their opinions about each other?

Did this dispute benefit them?

5. Conversation.
There is an expression: “What military man doesn’t dream of becoming a general.” Well, every boy probably wants to be like a knight. Of course, a real knight will never offend a girl, but will strive to win friendship among girls.
Very often, boys consider girls to be cowardly, weak, and in general, they are not suitable for serious wrestling, playing hockey, or football. But sometimes this is not the case at all, and girls are not inferior to boys.

WITH Tell me, is it fair to consider girls cowardly and weak, so as not to be friends with them?
There are many examples in life where girls and women achieved outstanding results and were in no way inferior to men. Female astronaut, female athletes, female military personnel, female heroes of the Great Patriotic War. They showed courage, courage, and endurance.
Do you know “Who are knights?” . In the Middle Ages, knights were called brave, courageous warriors who wore heavy armor and were armed with a spear and sword.

The poem “Knights” is read by David Masserov.

Sometime in the Middle Ages
Knights lived everywhere.
And their life was not easy
In iron ammunition.
The knights were proud of themselves,
With swords and armor.
Knights played with fate
And they went to tournaments.
But half a thousand years ago
They were no longer in the world.
But that's just what they say -
I don't agree with this.

Slide show "Who are the knights?"

Slide show “Knights in our time”

Nowadays, a knight is a person who is ready for a feat and knows how to keep his word. The knight is ready to rush to the aid of others at any moment, and a noble heart beats in his chest.)

Customs from knightly times.

By the way, many customs have remained from those ancient times to the present day. For example, where did the custom of taking off your hat when you enter a house come from?

This custom arose during the time of knights, who constantly wandered around the country, dressed in armor. Entering the house, the knight took off his helmet, as if with this gesture he was saying to the owner: “I am not afraid of you.” These times have passed, but the custom of taking off your hat when entering a house remains. By doing this you make it clear that you respect the house and the people living in it.

Where did the custom come to us when greeting people, to take off their gloves?

Also from knightly times. By removing his glove, the knight shows that he does not have a weapon in his hand, and he treats those he meets kindly. And now, when you say hello, you take off your glove or mitten out of respect for the other person.

As you know, the rule of walking ahead of your companion, going up and down the stairs, arose in the days of candle lighting, when a man walked ahead, holding a candle in his hand, and illuminated the lady’s path. Currently the lighting is electric. This need has disappeared. But the rule still remains. Why? Maybe it's time to cancel it?
(This necessity is due to the fact that if you follow it, you can help your companion or companion if he is weaker than you.)

Why does the boy lead the girl on the right side by the hand?
(Because on the left side of the knight hangs a weapon, a sword. In case of danger, the knight right hand took out his sword and defended himself).

Quiz

Leading: Now answer the questions:

1. Who gives up a seat in transport to the elderly, women and children - a boy or a girl? (Both).
2. Who goes up and down the stairs first, boy or girl?
3. You accidentally pushed someone. How to say “sorry” or “I apologize” correctly? (Sorry).
4. How to say “hello” or “hello” correctly? Why? (Because when you say hello, you wish health to the person you meet)

Afterwards about cowardice

So, let's talk about the unpleasant. Let's talk about cowardice.

For example, a boy is walking down the street, and five hooligans come towards him. (I don’t want to call hooligans people, so I measure them in pieces.) And they begin to blatantly pester the boy. The boy runs away.

Is he a coward?

No, he is a reasonable person: why get involved with hooligans measured in pieces?

Here's another example. But similar. A boy is walking down the street. But with a girl. And towards us there are five hooligans. They begin to brazenly pester the boy and girl. The boy runs away.

Is he a coward?

Without a doubt.

But he acted wisely?

No, he acted like a coward.

A coward is a person who difficult situation forgets about others and thinks only about himself.

To chicken outit means betraying The girl thought that she could rely on the boy to Hard time. And he betrayed her.

And if a boy in such a situation starts screaming like crazy, is he a coward?

No, he's great. He found a way out. He does everything to save the girl. The bullies don't expect the boy to attract other people walking down the street. And since bullies are always cowards, they are more likely to run away. The girl will be saved. The boy will show himself as a brave and reasonable person: he did not rush at the hooligans, because that would have been reckless and stupid; he figured out how to do it in order to save his companion and save himself.

Quest "True Knight".

There are pieces of paper on the table on which character traits are listed; you need to find the character traits of a real knight, and those that are difficult to cross out. Let's read it.

Educator: Today you did an excellent job with all the tasks, the boys showed real courage, courage and nobility, and I believe that you deserve to bear the title of knight.

Knighting.
Now all the boys kneel.

The decree is read:
“I, the Great and Almighty Queen of the Order of Knighthood, consecrate with my authority the Knights.
…………….., from this moment you become a knight of the “True Knight” order.
Promise that you will try to behave like a knight?
Promise that you will try to let the girls go ahead and not push?
Promise that you will try not to pull your hair or say rude words?
Promise that you will try to rush to help someone who needs it?
Promise that you will try to keep your word?
Promise that you'll try to be good example in everything?
Then we solemnly present them with the “True Knight” order.
Today we knight you!

We sincerely congratulate you on this proud title!

I wish you to follow the path of goodness and remember: As long as there are knights, there will be princesses.

Conducted by: Tkachenko T.P.

KSU " Orphanage No. 3 for orphans and children left without parental care, Sandyktau village"

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The feeling of adulthood that manifests itself in adolescence pushes the teenager to master new “adult” types of interactions. This, naturally, is facilitated by rapid physical development and, consequently, the adolescent’s identification with adults.

The noted factors significantly influence the change in relationships between boys and girls: they begin to show interest in each other as a representative of the other sex. In this regard, it becomes especially important for a teenager how others treat him. First of all, one’s own appearance is associated with this: to what extent the face, hairstyle, figure, demeanor, etc. correspond to gender identification: “I am like a man,” “I am like a woman.” In this regard, particular importance is attached to personal attractiveness - this is of paramount importance in the eyes of peers.

Disproportions in development between boys and girls can be a source of distress. So, in physical development girls are ahead of boys, they can be larger and taller. A girl who is taller than others may experience this as inferiority. Short stature causes similar feelings in boys. Growth, fatness, thinness, etc. are especially hard to experience.

Forms of communication with peers of the opposite sex

The emerging interest in the other sex among younger adolescents manifested itself at first in inadequate forms. Thus, boys are characterized by such forms of drawing attention to themselves as “bullying,” pestering, and even painful actions. Girls usually understand the reasons for such actions and are not seriously offended, in turn, demonstrating that they do not notice and ignore boys. In general, boys also pay intuitive attention to these manifestations of girls.

Later the relationship becomes more complicated. Spontaneity in communication disappears. Often this is expressed either in demonstrating an indifferent attitude towards the other sex, or in shyness when communicating. At the same time, adolescents experience a feeling of tension from a vague feeling of falling in love with representatives of the opposite sex.

As a teenager, Salvador Dali was in love with an imaginary creature with a thousand faces. He wrote: “I avoided girls who... seemed to me the greatest danger to my soul, so vulnerable to a storm of passions. However, I was going to always be in love - but on the condition that I would never meet the object of my desire, the girl from the crossroads of the neighboring city, whom I would definitely never see.

These loves, more and more unreal and unsatisfied, allowed my feelings to slide from one female image to another, in the midst of the strangest mental storms. From this I derived a belief in the continuity of female reincarnation, as if I were in love with only one creature with a thousand faces...” (Dali S. Secret life Salvador Dali, told by himself.)

There comes a stage when interest in the other sex intensifies even more, but outwardly, greater isolation arises in the relationships between boys and girls. Against this background, interest is shown in the relationships being established, in who likes whom. In girls, this interest usually arises earlier than in boys: their own sympathies are mysteriously communicated to their only friend, but often also to a group of peers. Even with mutual liking, open friendships rarely appear, since for this, teenagers need not only to overcome their own inhibitions, but also be ready to withstand ridicule and teasing from their peers.

At the age of 12-13, Dima’s concern became his appearance. He combed his hair and constantly looked after his hair - he always had a comb with him. At home, he often stands in front of the mirror and comments on his appearance: “But in general, I’m okay. My eyes are nothing - no worse than others! He felt embarrassed in physical education classes. In the second half of the year I never showed up in shorts. He told his mother that boys in shorts look very ugly and who knows what can happen if you play sports in front of girls in shorts... For Dima, even the situation is intolerable when other guys turn out, from his point of view, to look funny. The reason for his affective reaction is that he seems to put himself in the shoes of these guys and looks at it from the outside. He is very worried about the impression he makes, he sees himself in their place and cannot bear it... Dima has developed an ambivalent attitude towards girls. On the one hand, he is ready to pull their braids, pull them, hit them or push them, on the other hand, he began to treat girls with pointed disdain, for example, during the game “trickle” he never chose them: “Here! We need more!” If one of the girls tried to pick him out, he would run away in embarrassment. Sometimes at home, sitting by the window, he would evaluate the girls passing by: “But this girl is nothing!” The fact that Dima has matured in this regard is confirmed by his attention to his mother’s clothes and hairstyles, “qualified” advice, reading “adult” literature and the obligatory remark: “I’m skipping about love.” He always reacted very vividly to all sorts of boyish remarks in which one could sense some kind of “love” subtext, and smiled knowingly. (Based on materials from A.V. Zakharova.)

With older teenagers, communication between boys and girls becomes more open: teenagers of both sexes are included in the social circle. Attachment to a peer of the opposite sex can be intense, as a rule, it is given great importance great importance. Lack of reciprocity sometimes causes strong negative emotions.

An adolescent's interest in peers of the opposite sex leads to an increase in the ability to identify and evaluate the experiences and actions of another, to the development of reflection and the ability to identify. Initial interest in another, the desire to understand a peer give rise to the development of perception of people in general. Gradual increase in secretions in others personal qualities and experiences, the ability to evaluate them increases the ability to evaluate oneself.

The immediate reason for evaluating one’s experiences may be communication with an attractive peer of the opposite sex.

Romantic relationships can arise when spending time together: on walks, when visiting museums, theaters, dancing, cinema, etc. Teenagers often identify themselves with popular characters and strive to conform to the external forms of their behavior. They subtly sense the metamorphoses taking place in their body and soul. This confuses some people. Others are proud of themselves. Our great Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin described the well-being of such a youth in the poem “The Page, or the Fifteenth Year.” Here's the beginning:

I will soon be fifteen years old;

Will I wait? have a joyful day? How he will move me forward! But even now no one will cast a glance at me with contempt. I’m no longer a boy - I can pinch my mustache just above my lip;

I am important, like a toothless old man;

The desire to be liked becomes one of the most significant aspirations. The look takes on a special value: “He looks at me like that! He likes me!" Mutual glances and smiles already oblige you to a lot. It's like a silent vow to prefer others. The other becomes the subject of relentless attention, which encourages him to respond in the same spirit. If there are no reciprocal glances, then the teenager suffers greatly and acutely. For girls, their experiences break out into tears and desperate cries: “He doesn’t love me!”

Touch is especially valuable. Hands become conductors of internal tension associated with the physical and mental acquisition of the body. These magnetized touches are remembered by soul and body for the rest of your life. Therefore, it is very important to spiritualize adolescent relationships, but not to belittle them. It was at this time that many youth, trying to preserve their experiences for themselves, began to write diaries, poems, etc.

A romantic relationship with a representative of the opposite sex encourages dreams, fantasies, where the most incredible plans come true and hopes come true. Dreams and fantasies develop reflection and courage in solving fictitious or real conflicts. The boy learns to act in his fantasies, but he practices his actions and actions for real, experiencing them and reflecting on all possible situations. Adolescent love can, of course, turn out to be true love. But such cases are rare - they are not the rule, but the exception. Usually the boy suffers from love, tears roll into his eyes. "It's over," he says. And we are ready to sympathize with him. But, lo and behold, he is already cheerful, happy playing ball, playing with a friend on the grass or in the sea. “What about your grief?” - “Grief?” - he asks again, looking at you with clear eyes and barely remembering anything we're talking about. - “Oh this! Everything is over. “I was wrong,” he says, annoyed that just yesterday he was looking for consolation. Many adolescents do not experience their feelings so openly and expressively. However, they also dream of someone beautiful, and having found sympathy in a crowd of peers, they do not openly look into the eyes of another, dear one, but only secretly glance at moments when, as it seems to them, no one is watching them. Silent admirers love just as briefly as their more open peers. Sometimes a teenager loves his dream about another person more than himself.

The first feelings have such a strong impact on the young soul that many people are already mature years they remember precisely these feelings and the subject of their heartfelt inclination, which has long since dissolved in real life over the years.

Egorova Tatyana Vladimirovna
Job title: educational psychologist
Educational institution: MBUDO "CRTDiU"
Locality: Neryungri
Name of material: parent lecture hall
Subject: Relationships between boys and girls in adolescence
Publication date: 19.01.2018
Chapter: secondary vocational

Parent lecture hall

on the topic: “Relationships between boys and girls in

adolescence."

By the age of 13, our children experience their first love. It's the new grown up way

interactions with the opposite sex.

Of course, love at this age is less stable than youthful love, and is more like

enthusiasm. An emerging sense of adulthood, intensive development of the body, increased

hormonal levels - all this contributes to changes in the relationship between boys and

girls. The immediate interest of communication disappears.

They begin to perceive each other as representatives of different genders.

The process of identification with an adult begins - unconscious transference to oneself

feelings and qualities inherent in another person and desirable for oneself.

The boy begins to feel like a man, the girl - a woman. Hairstyle,

features of appearance, demeanor - all this gives information about what I am like

man (or me as a woman).

That is why for a teenager at this time his own

appearance. Personal attractiveness begins to play a primary role in the eyes

peers.

And here is the answer to your question: “What should real men and women look like?”

a teenager often finds it in the programs he watches. Images of actors and

pop singers become objects of imitation.

And here again let us remember the physical development of the child. After all, it is the disproportions in

development between boys and girls can serve as a source of many

experiences.

In physical development, girls are ahead of boys. That's why they have boys in their background

they look smaller and seem smaller. All this can cause feelings of inferiority in

teenager (others are especially distinguished by height, fullness). And in this case it happens to him like this

support from loved ones is needed!

Emerging interest in opposite sex first accepts strange,

inadequate forms. Thus, an obvious or unconscious desire to have adults

The relationship between a boy and a girl can be expressed in directly opposite behavior.

An example of this is the display of tenderness by teenagers towards girls. With one

On the other hand, such behavior is subject to ridicule. At the same time communicate with the subject

love no longer works as before.

That is why the love and tenderness of a teenager are transformed into behavior that outwardly

the opposite of falling in love - like pulling your pigtails. But this is the form

attracting attention.

And girls usually realize this and are not offended, but in turn demonstrate their

attention - ignoring the object of attachment. This is such a paradox. It's easier

communicate with someone other than the one you are in love with. Because of this, the object of love is often

generally divided: for example, one girl is loved perfectly (they look at her, sigh,

but they don’t dare to approach), but show a relationship (walk) with the other.

The spontaneity of communication gradually disappears, stiffness appears, or

shyness when communicating with the opposite sex.

Teenagers begin to experience tension from the sensation of falling in love. This gives

even greater external isolation in relationships between boys and girls.

And now girls talk about the object of their love in their friend’s ear (less often -

group of peers), sigh secretly. And the boys, as if by chance, find themselves next to

the girl you liked in extra classes.

It is rare that at this age (11-13 years old) they openly express their sympathies. After all, it is necessary

be able to overcome one’s inhibitions and resist ridicule from others

peers. And this is difficult.

Therefore, communication becomes more same-sex: boys with boys, girls with

girls. Even in team events or games like trickle they prefer

choose, as they say, your own.

Help your teen understand his feelings. Tell your son (daughter) that form

relationship with the subject of his hobby, which will be most acceptable in this

situations.

Older teenagers (14-15 years old) communicate with each other more openly. In their circle

communication includes friends of both sexes, and the lack of reciprocity leads to strong

negative emotions.

Communication with peers of the opposite sex can be very intense, and he

is given great importance. It is this kind of attachment that worries parents. Many

Moms and dads know that the object of passion can lead them astray dear child with the correct

roads. After all, for the sake of a loved one, teenagers do incredible stupid things, about which

then they regret it for a long time. That's why parents are outraged by the dating that has begun.

daughters, their late returns home.

During this period, a loved one becomes the main thing in life for our children, which means

The smartest solution would be to get to know your child's passion, find out

him as a person.

Then you can decide whether you need to influence the development of their relationship. And if so, you will

know how to do it. Let their relationship develop before your eyes. It's calmer this way. AND

you will always be aware of the matter and will be able to support the child in time and give advice.

For a teenager, the initial interest in others, the desire to understand

peer, the search for mutual compromises is the beginning of the development of the ability to accept

people in general.

Over time, the teenager identifies more and more personal qualities in others and

experiences. This develops in him the ability to evaluate both others and himself.

Communication with a peer of the opposite sex is a direct cause

to evaluate your experiences. Consequently, there is an accumulation of personal experience.

In these relationships, teenagers are very vulnerable. They often compare or identify

yourself with the characters of films and literary works.

Often in dreams they build relationships with others according to a certain ideal scenario, V

where hopes come true. These dreams help them make decisions in fantasies,

play them and then transfer them to real life. It was at this time that many

teenagers write diaries and poems in which they reflect their experiences.

The desire to be liked becomes one of the most important aspirations of a teenager. Special

Looks and smiles are important.

Mutual exchanges of glances in class already oblige us to a lot - this is a sign

belonging to the object of affection. Then, at recess, the girls proudly

They say to each other: You saw HOW he looks at me!

These views excite the imagination of adolescents and encourage them to respond in the same way.

spirit. If there are no reciprocal glances, then you can hear the desperate: He doesn’t love me!

What should I do?

Touch is especially valuable. They study with their hands, speak, inform.

Hands express all the internal tension of soul and body.

These touches will be remembered for the rest of your life. Therefore it is very important

spiritualize adolescent relationships, do not belittle them, do not vulgarize them.

For a teenager, this relationship is very serious! Remember? Maximalism and idealization. A

This means that love is the only one, serious and for life!

And the first disappointments are so strong and truly unexpected for

child that he is sometimes unable to cope with the feelings and pain that wash over him.

And then there should be a friend nearby. The best adult is a parent or significant other.

child person. He will be able to support, explain, console. If there is such a person nearby

doesn’t turn out to be true, then grief can be so overwhelming that the teenager (and after all, in

Essentially, he is still a child!) will not be able to cope with the flow of emotions on his own. And then maybe

something irreparable will happen.

Enough big number Teenagers commit suicide at this age because of

unhappy love or feelings of loneliness... At this age, teenagers are very vulnerable and

tell about the events of your life to your parents, in whose support they continue

need. But it is difficult for them to start such close communication.

Support him in difficult times without judging or lecturing him. Just be there and

be the first to make contact.

Some teenagers experience their relationships with the opposite sex vigorously and openly.

Often it is this expressiveness that helps them survive disappointment.

Other teenagers do not worry so openly and strongly. But they also dream of beautiful things

prince (princess), and when they begin to sympathize with one of their peers, they don’t

express it in front of everyone.

They only secretly spy on the object of passion in those moments when it seems to them that

no one sees them. But their love is just as short. And sometimes a teenager is more than

a real person, loves his dream of another, his fantasies.

But be that as it may, these first feelings often have such a strong impact

on the soul of a teenager, that some carry memories of them throughout their lives, looking for

Adults are often tactless when it comes to students’ manifestations of falling in love and begin

reproach and scold them, they often throw out such thoughtless phrases - “he’s already starting

play at love”, “she’s already getting mixed up with boys”, etc., sometimes they even laugh evilly and

tease.

causes

teenagers

experiences.

ridicule

leads to the fact that boys and girls begin to fear even ordinary

comradely feelings, and sometimes they stop being friends

It must be borne in mind that the relationship between children and teenagers that arises

genders, growing out of friendship during study, play and work, are of great importance

for the future life together young people. The point is that different forms

favorable

conditions

incentive,

repeated

crushes

experiences

form

personality

teenager

provide

positive

relationship

between the sexes in the future.

Friendship is not always connected with sexual desire; as you know, a girl with

girl, and boy with boy. Nevertheless, one cannot help but see that the friendship of two young men and

The friendship between a boy and a girl has serious differences. The friendship between a girl and a boy has

poetic

emotionally

raised.

becomes more fit and polite, the girl becomes softer and more feminine. It's not yet

love, but it is already covered in its premonition, and life, illuminated by it, becomes more

bright and significant. The first love interest is sometimes the spark that...

which ignites the “bonfire” of true human love.

A young man should not forget that his friend is a girl and that it is his duty to

towards her - to take care of her maiden honor, to stand up for her if someone shows

offensive

attitude.

experiences, helping her, spending leisure hours with her, he should not allow any

unnecessary

liberties,

permitted

proximity.

It is necessary to raise a boy from childhood so that he has a certain

“a sense of distance” in relation to the girl, and the boy - to the girl.

Simplicity

naturalness

relationships,

free

rudeness

frivolous flirting decorate friendship. The famous teacher A.S. Makarenko somehow

asked: what should they be? healthy relationships between a boy and a girl? He

answered: “Sincere ones, those who neither exaggerate nor minimize anything. When

do not deceive each other, when there is respect for oneself and for the other, then the relationship will be

healthy, no matter what kind of relationship it is: friendship, love, etc. In

in any case, if there is concern for the life and happiness of another, such relationships will always be