Why does God not give a husband, a family, a loved one, a man, a second half, a betrothed? When God sends to us that same man ... the most beloved and most long-awaited, the only

Many girls, after numerous meetings and partings, ask themselves in despair: “Why does God not give a husband? What am I doing wrong? I go to church every Sunday, I keep fasts, I pray.” Actually, why is God obliged to give a husband? Women are emotional beings. They think that a sacred marriage is created in heaven, therefore they devote their whole lives to waiting for an invented prince, not noticing ordinary earthly men next to them, who could become good partners.

An ecclesiastical view of celibacy

Young girls, beautiful and successful, but unable to establish a personal life, begin to write off failures on God or on the so-called crown of celibacy. Allegedly imposed by an evil witch, the crown of celibacy condemns the beautiful maiden to loneliness. But even experienced psychics claim that if such a phenomenon exists, then this is a very rare case. Rather girl creates a negative program by itself, attracting certain type men unable to make her happy.

What do the priests say about the crown of celibacy? They think he doesn't exist. After all, neither Jesus nor the apostles prayed for the removal of "crowns", because they did not know about them. Modern Christian denominations consider this a prejudice. Many married people suffer from a drunken spouse, while others are childless or the child is sick, and this does not mean that they are cursed. The clergy believe that it is necessary to pray to God, to communicate with him, because only then the Lord is able to restore people's lives.

Karmic reasons

Fatal bad luck with men makes many girls wonder why God does not give them happiness in their personal lives. It is believed that karma affects loneliness, so in this incarnation we work out karmic debts previous incarnation. For example, in past life someone rudely rejected attempts normal relationship, and someone raised the bar of requirements for a future husband, thereby stopping all encroachments on the opportunity to successfully marry.

In this incarnation, fate gives a chance to correct the mistakes of the past by changing her behavior, and if a woman continues to behave in this way, she will be lonely. Failures in personal life are sent down by God so that a person dives deeper into self-knowledge and analyzes his life. And also to try to change himself, directing his evolution on the way to Infinity in the right direction.

Some esotericists believe that only the woman who scans the karma of her kind can answer the question why God does not give a husband for a long time. It is believed that the success of a person affects ancestral karma, and if it is dysfunctional, then the whole family has to pay for it, overcoming misfortunes, loneliness. But many experts do not agree with this opinion, because successful and unsuccessful people, potential killers, violators of the law and priests who are happy in family life and pathological loners. Most likely, loneliness is:

internal subconscious human need;
internal psychological conflicts;
negative attitudes of parents or society.

Psychological reasons

A girl often does not have a husband, not because God does not give him, but because of her own psychological attitudes to loneliness. Let's break down these internal settings:

There is no need for a husband. This is a certain form of self-sufficiency, when a person feels great without the so-called second half. This is either a conscious or subconscious setting, when a woman is, in fact, an introvert, and it is difficult for her to share her comfortable inner world with another person.
Search ideal husband. In this situation, it is all the more not worth being offended by God, because a girl sees only flaws in every man who meets her on the way. Often this setting is too loving parents, who claimed that "he is not a couple for you" or "he is not worthy of you." So a woman is waiting for her prince until retirement, every year making more and more demands on the opposite sex.
We need a husband-sponsor. A certain category of girls considers only rich men as a future husband, but, as a rule, they themselves are neither in terms of level nor in education before successful people do not hold up. So such a beauty meets only with the rich at one time, and as a wife she does not suit them in status. There are two ways out: either find a husband from your circle, or become successful yourself so that your partner is at the level.
Bad experience. Loneliness in marriage is also present, so it is not necessary that if God gives a husband, then the marriage will be successful. Often, after one or two divorces, women are simply disappointed in relationships, setting themselves up that she will spend the rest of her life in quiet loneliness.
Not ready to give her husband love. Not every woman is ready to give love to a man, regardless of God and his commandments, but the strong half avoids her, subconsciously feeling coldness. And God has nothing to do with it. You need to learn to love, to give warmth, only then a miracle will happen: the chosen one will feel it and appear on the horizon.

Energy reasons

In fact, loneliness is not a problem or suffering, but a need, a person's choice, and this is normal. It is not normal when the feeling of loneliness leads to stress or illness. But why does the absence of a husband make girls suffer? Let's see, here are the main reasons:

Short energy tone when there is no strength to create a family, for active communication, but you want to hide in a small hole so that no one hurts, and God must bring your husband into this hole.
A person is constantly offended, jealous, demands, which repels people of the opposite sex from himself. Such behavior destroys emotional ties for a long time, and in addition, God does not support such women.
A narcissistic woman who shows with all her behavior that she does not need anyone. She has many empty romances and romances with men, whom she changes like gloves and throws without regret. She thinks that next man God will give her better than before, but all to no avail, hence the stress and psychological illness.

Magic reasons

If God does not give a husband to a woman for a long time, she begins to think about damage or the evil eye. Indeed, it is so easy to remove the problem from yourself and hang it on others. But are there really damage to failure in personal life? Corruption is when it breaks through energy protection on a person, and a certain negative message is laid in the hole. If a woman is physically and psychologically healthy, then she has high energy, therefore, it is very difficult to break through her with the evil eye on the street or an envious woman at work.

But if this happened, you need to find a "seeing" subtle bodies of a psychic who, after diagnostics, will determine if there are holes in energy body or not. If damage or the evil eye is at the level of the chakra responsible for sexuality, then there was a “black” message for loneliness, which is removed either by conspiracies or independently, strengthening one’s energy. And what do experts - psychics and parapsychologists - think about this in the video:

Hello Father Andrew. Spouse and spouse are sent by God. How to understand that the man is the one sent by God, and not a rogue who will break life (now there are many of them)? What is the most important thing to pay attention to when choosing a spouse? What should alert and become clear sign that it's not...

Elena writes: “Hello, Father Andrei! Spouse and spouse are sent by God. How to understand that a man is the one sent by God, and not a rogue who will break life? What is the most important thing to pay attention to when choosing a spouse? What should alert, become a clear sign that this is not the right man?

Archpriest Andrey Tkachev answers:
- Now I will try to tell you a few things that seem to me to be basic criteria. He must be hardworking. If he does not like to work, then it will be a gigolo, who will lie on the sofa, and you will serve, wash and feed him. He must be hardworking! He should not put you in bed at the first meeting. That is, he should not give free rein to his hands and, in general, in every possible way demand from you the only thing that a peasant needs, who has nothing special, good behind his soul. He must take care of you and must wait for the woman herself to open up to meet the man - confidentially open up to him - seeing in him not a male, but a friend, a protector, a husband. That is, he should not be arrogantly lustful. And, of course, one should not be an alcoholic, a drug addict and a gamer! That is, he should not have murderous passions - such as alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling. If he is a player - away from him! This is not that person. If he's an alcoholic, get away from him! You won't cure him. If he's a drug addict, get away from him! - it will be hell! If he wants to have you as a woman on the first date, get away from him! - it's a nonentity! This animal. Well, if he does not work, but wants something ... You know, usually lazy people want to put the whole world in their pocket! Their dreamy part of the soul is developed to disgrace. They want everything and do nothing. “What, I will work for these 25 thousand? I am a talented person! Half the world is not enough for me! Do you understand? If this is such a schmuck, then get away from him too! That is, a hardworking, honest man who respects you as a woman and has no bad habits. Perhaps this is a person with whom you can build your life. This is the minimum below which there is nowhere to fall. That is my opinion.

Answer: When we love for something, it cannot be called true love. This is no longer love, but selfishness: we are comfortable next to this person, he gives us joy, makes us pleasant, and for this we love him - in fact, we love ourselves in him. About such “love” the Lord said in the Gospel: “... if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Do not the publicans do the same? (Matthew 5:46).

How to love truly? You need to love a person already because he gives us a great opportunity to love (sorry for the tautology). Love is wonderful feeling, the opportunity to do something not for yourself, not in order to be pleasant to me, but to bring joy to a loved one and rejoice in his joy, to be happy next to him. For this we should be infinitely grateful to our loved ones.

God gives us an example of true love. The Lord loves us not for something, but rather in spite of everything, because, by and large, there is nothing to love us for. But God still loves each of us because we are His children. Because He cannot help but love. Love is the name of God. And because we need His love, He pities us. Pity the way we are. Sick, sinful, ungrateful. And the highest manifestation of love is, of course, the sacrifice that the Lord makes for us. Christ “came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). And if we want to follow Christ even a little, then we must learn to love selflessly, for nothing.

And the earthly life of Christ is a constant service to people. He preached, taught, healed, resurrected, experiencing hunger, fatigue, heat, thirst, and not even having a permanent home. And “in gratitude” for all this, he was crucified for us on the cross.

What are the properties true love to which the Lord calls us?

1. Constancy, eternity. God does not refuse to love us, even if we depart from Him; on the contrary, as you know, He leaves 99 sheep in the wilderness to find and save the lost sheep, and rejoices over her more than others.

“He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matthew 5:45).

2. Sacrifice. We have already spoken about this property of love.

3. Real love prudent and thoughtful. God creates love intelligently, guided by our benefit. The most primitive, childish understanding of love is “give me whatever I want, and let me do whatever I want”! But any adult understands: you can’t follow people’s tastes in everything, even if we love them very much. Yes, the Lord gives us freedom, but loves us right, for wrong love can be harmed, it can be overfed or spoiled. Recall the proverb: "God does not give a horn to a vigorous cow." Of course, if a person wants to, he will still achieve his goal, going against the will of God. But God will definitely warn him, admonish him, and will try to lead him away from trouble. The Lord not only has mercy, but also punishes, teaches us by life itself.

4. The ability to appreciate a loved one. For true love, the value is the person himself, his personality, and not some of his individual qualities. Each of us is valuable before God, Christ suffered for each of us.

5. From the ability to appreciate comes respect - another property of love. The famous singer Yuri Shevchuk has the following words in one of his songs: "God respects us." And indeed it is. The Lord respects us as individuals, respects our freedom, does not force anyone to come to Himself. Does not force at any cost to love and obey Him.

The words “love” and “falling in love” are considered by many to be synonymous, denoting the same feeling. Once I fell in love, that means everything: I love. With external similarities, these two feelings - falling in love and love - are almost diametrically opposed to each other. It seems, but not that - "Fedot, but not the one."

Let's compare. Love is characterized by constancy - falling in love, on the contrary, is a very fickle feeling. Love stands the test of time, becomes even stronger, and falling in love cannot last long: a maximum of several years.

The vector of love is directed at another person, love is altruistic - falling in love, on the contrary, is selfish: me pleases my beloved, communication with him brings to me pleasure. And in love, the very value of the beloved and the opportunity to love him bring joy. Falling in love wants to possess and usually passes with long separation. Love, on the contrary, only grows stronger from separation. And finally, unlike love, falling in love is completely unreasonable. The emotions of a lover prevail over his mind, he is not quite adequate.

So falling in love can not be called love.

Gary Smalley, an American specialist in matters of family life, a believer, although a Protestant, once expressed a wonderful idea: love is not an emotion (as many people think), but a conscious choice of a person. That is, we make our choice in the direction of love for this person and make every effort so that our love does not go out. After all, the moment will surely come when our loved one will not only please us, but also bring grief, there will come difficult period, possibly chilling feelings. Here we must remember that we once made this choice ourselves, that not our loved one has changed, but simply a difficult time has come that needs to be experienced by helping a loved one. Then love will be with us all our lives, regardless of any worldly storms.

Let me give you another example of how you can love not for something, but for the sake of love itself. A few years ago I met a seminary classmate who was not yet married at the time. I asked him what requirements he had for his future wife. And he said that, in his opinion, a wife should be beautiful, educated, be able to cook deliciously, should be an interesting companion, and added something else like that; and if a woman does not have all this, then he cannot marry her.

Then I asked him:

- Why do you love your mother? (I knew that he loved his mother very much.)

“Well, I don’t know, I just love it,” he replied.

“Probably not because she bakes delicious pies and irons your shirts?”

Indeed, love for parents is our choice. We love them for nothing. Indeed, very often parents give everything to their children, but the children still do not like them.

We know that love and respect for parents is a commandment of God, it is a duty of love. These people gave us life, took care of us, gave us a part of their soul, we went through a lot with them, we have a lot in common. Therefore, we are attached to them, we love them. And delicious pies, shirts, woolen socks and so on are just a nice addition, but things are far from being the main ones.

But generally speaking, all of the above is just an attempt to explain that great and inexplicable feeling that is called love.

Question : If I feel that the girl with whom I am friends and whom I want to marry is sent to me by the Providence of God, can this be so?

Answer: In our life, of course, the Providence of God operates, leading us to salvation. And the Lord constantly puts us before a choice, on the correctness of which our life depends. future life. But we are not prophets, it is not given to us to know the will of God. To understand whether this person was sent to us by God or not, time is needed, life itself must show this. For this, there is a premarital dating period, which should be long enough to get to know and understand each other at least a little. You need to pray that everything will be the will of God, and if your meeting is not accidental, you yourself will see how the Lord works in your life. But the main thing: any gift of God must be able to appreciate and cherish.

"If they don't get married..."

In polls about love - what could be more difficult and interesting? Even those who have met a loved one in their lives have questions. For those who haven't met, there are even more questions. Here are just a few of them. Who asks them? A girl who was never bored alone, but who finally grew up and thought about whether she would continue to live alone, and if not, how and where to look for that loved one with which to start new life in own happy family? Of course, you have your own ambiguities and anxieties, and maybe some of your questions are the same as mine. In any case, it becomes easier if there is someone to whom they can be asked.

Some say: "We need to hope and wait, love will come." Others say: “We should not expect favors from nature. Love must be sought and conquered! Do it! You can!" And in the middle you stand and look, as if into a well, into the unknown. Where is he - the person with whom love, children, happiness will come, with whom it will be warm and reliable all his life? Unknown. Will he ever come or is it useless to wait? Unknown. Is it my fault that there is still no love? How to figure it out?

There is an Eastern proverb: when the student is ready, the teacher comes. It suits many life situations including the issue of marriage. The desire to get married is nothing but the desire to be happy, to be realized as a mother, to live in warmth and comfort, to give your love. You must first educate yourself right attitude to marriage and, according to this tuning fork of right thoughts, tune your inner world, your soul. It makes sense to take care of yourself, to become better, so that the potential husband is as happy as possible, and leave the rest to the will of God. It may happen that the Lord has other thoughts about you, a different share is prepared for you. This will be seen from the circumstances of life, and this will have to be reconciled. But if your share is usual and God has provided a husband for you, and you are still unable to arrange your personal life, then perhaps this is because you are not ready.

I agree that it is hard to wait, and uncertainty torments. But this is from the category of inevitable, so please accept my sympathy and sincere participation. This is the lot of all the daughters of Eve.

Everyone around is getting married, but you are not. Parents’ questions are added to internal questions: “Will we ever have grandchildren or not?” Friends: “Well, how are you? How personal life? Let's tell!" Odnoklassniki: “So you didn’t meet anyone? Well, yes, of course, you don’t need to be with anyone ... ”They either respect you or pity you. You yourself know that time, as they say, is passing, and with your inability or unwillingness to get married, you confuse your friends, become some kind of "inconvenient". So you walk alone, as if no one chose you, you barren fig tree. So, there is something wrong with you, and they (men) feel it! Is it true that I am this very fig tree and God does not want someone to be born from me?

You are not a "barren fig tree". I believe that once in your heart the most sacred desire for a woman was born - to give birth, then the Lord of the world and the Master of our life will give you the opportunity to realize this desire. Do not eat yourself up and try to establish an inner distance between yourself and the army of compassionate well-wishers. All these lovers of groaning and clicking their tongues actually only irritate the soul and add suffering. Just ignore it. Everyone has their own life and their own cross, respectively, everyone has enough of their worries.

You need to pray that God will show you your chosen one (chosen one), but how to pray about this? What if God does not want me to have a family? What if I am not fit for a family, or God has some other calling in store for me? Or do you need to pray for what you want anyway?

Earnest prayer tests the degree of desire. It happens that you pray for a long time and come to an internal question: do I need it? This means that by prayer you have discovered in yourself such a depth at which the need has disappeared. If such a desire does not disappear, it means that this is really the need of your whole life. Keep pestering the Lord like a gospel widow (Luke 18:2-5) and do not forget to end the prayer with the words: "not as I want, but as You."

Suppose you met and something arose between you, which makes you want to run through the streets with armfuls of flowers, smile at the sellers in the store, help the elderly and children. What do Christians do in this situation? Can a Christian simply afford to fall in love? Or is it too frivolous?

Kuraev often quotes, as he says, the theologian Winnie the Pooh. I dare to quote Turtle Tortilla:

Young friend, always be young...
... Cry and laugh out of place.
I myself was
Three hundred years ago.

Hold hands, kiss for health, do not cross known boundaries, not only threatening premature pregnancy but also simply corrupting a person. I agree, the question is subtle and eludes a clear definition. But you can try to find space for natural tenderness that does not turn into sin.

Fornication is condemned because it is fornication. No one really explains what his danger is: why do we definitely need to get married, create a family and give birth, give birth, give birth to children, instead of living “like this” for a while and understanding whether we are good together or not? After all, it’s better to figure it out right away than to make a vow to be together all your life, and then leave?

Love is considered the most beautiful thing on earth, but the love of a Christian seems to impose more obligations on him than it gives pleasure. So love is also hard work? Why create a family if it is not joy, but hopeless work?

First, it is impossible to oppose joy and work. Work and labor are also synonymous with joy. Believe that the Christian ideal present in your soul will not prevent you from living fully. marital relations and feel their exceptional joy. Of course, marriage not only inspires, but also burdens; not only gives rights, but also obliges. But since all this is holy, it is not difficult, and not alien to joy.

Romeo and Juliet love romantic love- nothing for a Christian? How does the Church feel about what is called romance?

We are suffering greatly from the disappearance romantic relationship, from accessibility and openness to the whole world female body, from early awareness of the secrets of sex, from cynicism and earthiness, with which people become infected even at the age of beardless youths. One of the writers, I think Flaubert, said that what longer woman desirable, the longer courtship lasts, the longer and stronger in marriage she is loved. The alternative to romanticism is, unfortunately, only that realism, which in practice turns out to be cynicism. Therefore, I am for a romantic renaissance in relations between a man and a woman.

P.S. Since the questions came from the beautiful half of humanity, I want to say goodbye: dear unmarried girls, do not be discouraged and do not grieve. Think of marriage as your sacred mission and prepare for it by being cleansed and sanctified by the Christian life and armed with all useful life skills. Pray hard to God. You will have husbands and children. Chin up! And may the blessing of the Lord be upon you.

Like, the time is now, parents do not decree us, go outside and choose for yourself! But, strange thing, why can't we sometimes find anyone ourselves? I got married at the age of 23, but I would prefer to find a husband right away, and not live through the previous painful experience. Why couldn't I find it earlier? And why are so many women looking for and looking for nothing? Why do we often disagree in choosing? I choose him, but he does not choose me? There are more questions than answers. And there is really only one answer.

Because God actually gives us a husband. Then, when the time comes, and such as we deserve. We can deceive ourselves, they say, I chose him. But how did you choose? Something happened in your body, your heart suddenly began to beat differently, feelings appeared, you were drawn to certain man. Where does all this come from? Did you create these feelings and sensations yourself? No. They appeared in your body in an unknown way, without your participation.

And not only with you, he also has a similar inexplicable and strange thing going on inside. Are you creating this too? Then why doesn't it always work and sometimes the man of your dreams passes by? And it also happens that they meet wonderful men, and the girls complain that they would fall in love with him, the ideal husband would be - but no! No way! And you marry another - less responsible and caring, and who will understand why and why. So are men - he likes blondes, and for some reason he takes a brunette as his wife. She loves household chores, but marries the one who won’t even cook scrambled eggs. For some reason, something resonates with her. And what? And where does it come from?

Although we still have the illusion of choice, it seems to us that we choose to marry for love - and we leave. But what we call love happens in our body without any of our intervention, sometimes in spite of common sense and logic.

The world is very wise. I met my husband when we were both ready for serious relationship. When I realized what I want, and when he realized what he needed. When I got closer to myself and started to turn into a girl, and when he got tired of hanging out and parties. It was at this moment, in a strange way, that the Lord introduced us. And yes, both of us were not an ideal for each other, which can be recognized in two seconds and die of happiness.

I did not like the vacancy for which I came to get a job. I didn't want to go there at all. And the area is inconvenient, and the company itself is in a strange building, and the job is not my dream, and even the weather is unpleasant. I was waiting for the place already promised to me in a well-known corporation to become vacant. But for some reason, I nevertheless came there, talked with people who turned out to be quite pleasant. They immediately called me back, invited me for a second interview with the director - and then immediately asked me to start working. To be honest, I wasn't particularly happy. And I don't know why I agreed. My dream job called me a month later and said it was waiting with things. And I already worked here. And refused.

So, in a mystical way, the Lord led me to where he was waiting for me. He, of course, did not like me. He, who periodically pissed me off. He who was different from everyone else. All the guys in the office called me for tea with chocolates, and in room 117 kefir and cookies were waiting for me, and at the same time an incomprehensible boy, rather sharp-tongued. Not to my taste, as they say. In all the other offices, I was complimented, invited to the cinema, somehow nice and funny courted. And he didn't care. He teased, then again offered his yogurt, did not call anywhere, some girls constantly went to him. And he even gave me flowers in a rather original way - he put a flower pot under the table.

So, if I myself chose a husband for myself - with a brain or a “heart” (that is, I would force someone who did not want to marry) to marry, and marry the way I imagined it, my world would be different. I would still live in Irkutsk, work somewhere in a bank, give birth to no more than two children, probably pump up my lips and grow my hair to be no worse than others, Botox would be the same prick. Live a "normal" life. But the Lord knows what is best for me, where and how I can be truly happy. Therefore, he gave me my husband, exactly the same as he was then and what he is.

Yes, with my husband, various difficulties came into my life. All my family karma, which each of us has, has piled on, and it is rarely joyful. I had to face my own exams and lessons, some I still can't pass. And all again, because for me this is the most the best man. Both for happiness and for passing exams. It shows my workload and my level of happiness. It was in it that they intertwined and united so that I could both progress and be happy. Yes, the Lord has chosen for me the most best gift. Himself best husband. I wouldn't have seen it myself.

Always like this. If a man is not yours, then all the time something does not add up. It doesn’t work out either to meet or get married, obstacles arise here and there. And there is no reciprocity. The man suddenly leaves without asking anyone. Doesn't want to get married. It’s like some kind of force is driving him out of your life, squeezing him out. Or you yourself suddenly drop everything that you liked yesterday and run away. Because the Lord has prepared something else for you. The best.

He always chooses the most suitable for us. And gives us the ideal man for us in three ways:

a man with whom we can pass our exams
a man with whom we can be happy
the man we deserve.

And such a man comes when:

are you ready for marriage
he is ready to marry
you both have the strength and resources to build a relationship
it's time to start a family

And then you suddenly look at this man, who yesterday could have been your friend, or seemed like a complete stranger to you - and for some reason your heart starts beating faster. You don't understand why or how.

And now I spend every morning in office 117 for kefir with this strange guy, and in the evenings he accompanies me to the minibus. We walk along the road, skipping several stops already in the wild Siberian cold, just walking and talking.

And now I discover that in my "ICQ" the most messages are in correspondence with him. Moreover, I wait for each of these messages or sms. Where does all this come from? How did it happen? With a huge selection of promising suitors knocking on the doorsteps, whom others would grab and drag to the registry office, despite the fact that a month ago I saw myself married to only one person, suddenly I say “yes” to him.

It seemed to the brain strange choice. The reputation of a womanizer, an ordinary manager, not particularly caring and romantic. And for some reason, after three months of dating, the heart agreed to get married. And no matter how I tested him, he passed tests that, logically, should have pushed him away. Although he himself did not understand why he continued to communicate with me after such tricks. Because the time has come, and the Lord made it so that everything worked out.

Yes, it is very important that the ideal man for you is not the ideal from the magazine. And your family and friends, he does not have to seem perfect. This is the one who will bring you your amount of karmic labor, and this is not very nice gift, it's true? But at the same time, the Lord does not give us men with whom it is absolutely impossible to be happy. He cares about us, not mocks us. By sorting out your front of work, you can find out the best happiness for you. But you may not find out if you refuse to work with your soul and do not give the relationship a chance.

And every exam is different.

someone needs to learn to respect a man
someone needs to deal with the position of the victim
someone needs to deal with their addiction to a man
someone needs to learn to respect and appreciate themselves
someone should overcome selfishness and laziness and learn to take care of others
someone (almost everyone) should learn to accept other people for who they are
someone needs to stop dragging everything on themselves and learn to delegate
someone needs to learn to obey a man
someone (again, almost everyone) should learn to inspire their husband and allow themselves to receive what they want through him
someone needs to return to their original feminine nature, so as not to ring with iron ...
someone needs to learn how to accumulate and distribute energy so that there is something to give and not be depleted
someone needs to learn how to be true
someone needs to get out of the ancestral scenarios of their mother, grandmother and past
and so on, everyone has their own exams

And almost everyone needs to understand that trying to change a husband is useless. You need to change yourself, for real, not pretending that I have changed, not being clever, but really acting. To understand that my husband is a mirror, that he is the way I deserved my past actions. And why not blame the mirror if the "source" is like that? As my husband says, if the third husband is already hitting you in the face, then maybe something is wrong with your face?

Lessons are different for everyone. Like at school - someone has a humanitarian class, and they ask literature more strictly, someone has a mathematical one, and then literature is so-so, but the physics teacher shakes his whole soul. And the same five in the certificate will mean a different level of knowledge. But after all, only those who are ready for this level of complexity will be taken to the math class, right? Why torture the humanists there, to whom mathematics seems to be the most difficult thing in the universe? So it is with everything else.

Everyone's workload is different. A set of subjects for the exam - too. And often the “class” is different. You look at those who are in the "first" or "fifth" from their "seventh" and it seems - yes, this is nonsense, why not give up! But in the same way, some “tenth grader” looks at you. Like, why are you suffering with some nonsense? It is high time to understand and do everything.

Therefore, someone easily marries their first love at the age of 20 and lives happily together all their lives, while someone suffers, gets burned, and only closer to forty finds a family (and even then not always). Everything in life is mathematically accurate, and even if something was easier for us than for others, there is no reason to be proud of it and brag about it. Here it is easier, in another it will be more difficult. It is worth looking in the direction of your lessons and exams.

You can quit everything - they say, not my man, not my exams, let it resolve itself. But until the Lord gives the go-ahead for this, it is even impossible to disperse. Some people leave their husbands all their lives, but it doesn’t work out. And some even get divorced, but still live together, they cannot leave. Or they don’t even live together, but the relationship continues, boils.

Every failed exam will be returned. Not with this man, but with another, in a different form. What's the point of changing your husband then? To get used to someone again, to study? Only because of the illusion that something like this will definitely not happen to him? Especially if happiness is initially possible with him.

A friend of mine almost divorced her husband when they had only one child, and her husband was a drunken and depressed alcoholic. In addition, he went through Chechnya, which made him inadequate in this state. Yes, she almost left him. Just what would it change, because their entire history of dating and marriage is an indicator of precisely the fact that this couple was created by God?

He has not been drinking for many years. They have three children, they live in the country, in own house. And she is happy, exactly with the kind of happiness that turned out to be closest to her. Simple, rustic, family. Children, household, garden, husband, creativity.

And all this happened only when her heart changed. When she herself changed, she shared her feelings that it was as if she had divorced that husband of hers, and married again - to this “new” one. Although it turned out to be the same person who is no longer recognizable.

Sometimes it happens that the exams are passed, and the person himself leaves, making room for someone who will reward him for passing the exam. And in this case, we do not manage all this, and these decisions are not made by us.

Running away from our lessons, we often cannot meet anyone later. Sometimes we try to force things, we are looking for a husband, we are chasing suitors, we are trying to get them. But all to no avail. Many such couples cannot live together even for a year, and this is usually a sign that they really made a mistake and turned up too much themselves - under the influence of hormones, calculation or something else.

If it’s difficult for you in a relationship, do everything that depends on you and let go of the Almighty. If the person is yours, and you have understood your lessons, everything will work out. If not yours, but the lessons have been passed, another, better one will come into life. But if you don’t change, you don’t pass exams, then in any case, you shouldn’t expect anything good, no matter how much you drink it.

If you want to be married, trust the best matchmaker, the best matchmaker of all time. Change, open your heart and ask the Lord for a spouse. The very best for you. It is the one with which you can experience happiness and pass exams. He's probably got one in store for you already. And just waiting in the wings.