When people disagree how to transfer the state of mind. Search for the advantages of the existing situation. How to overcome depression

Partying until the morning, watching TV shows for days in the company of sweets and alcohol, going to work, random change of partners are examples of destructive ways of experiencing parting. They don't solve the problem, they mask it negative feelings, buried deep. From the article you will learn how to properly survive a breakup with a loved one, so as not to go to extremes.

Men tend to hide and suppress experiences. teaches not to show emotions in public. Don't show if you don't want to, but let your feelings out on your own. Accept them within yourself in order to survive and never return to this. By the way, statistics say that men experience separation more painfully, although they do not show it.

Girls are easier and faster to experience parting, as society does not condemn the manifestation of their feelings. A woman is allowed to gossip with her friend, cry, shout. She does not need to suppress emotions, which means that they pass faster.

Chemistry of love

Begin the experience by understanding the chemistry of love. Love is hormones. Oxytocin is commonly thought to be the hormone of love, but there are actually five participants:

Dopamine is a hormone of mood, performance, physical and mental activity, purposefulness. He forces to develop and develop relationships, to seek the object of love. Dopamine is produced when playing sports and eating fish, apples, bananas, green tea, eggs. So it's time to improve your figure proper nutrition and workouts.
Serotonin is the pleasure hormone. There are no general recipes here - do what you love. Of the products, you should pay attention to dairy products, turkey, strawberries.
Oxytocin is the hormone of attachment. In addition to love, its production is provided by affection and warm friendly relations, a sense of security. Foods that cause the production of oxytocin are chocolate, avocados, bananas.
Vasopressin is a hormone of tenderness and fidelity. It is produced during sex and is addictive to a partner. Just be aware that your current state is hormonal adjustment.
Endorphins are hormones of joy and happiness, euphoria. It is a natural drug of the body, an analogue of morphine. Where to find new source joys: cardio training, new experiences (exhibitions, movies, excursions), laughter, music, chocolate, sunlight. Food items include chili peppers, avocados, potatoes, milk, and beets.
Adrenaline is a hormone that allows you to do even the impossible for the sake of a loved one. It is a hormone of energy, an engine. Adrenaline is found in extreme sports or extreme entertainment. But it's dangerous. Yes, and the separation period is stressful in itself. So there is an adrenaline rush. This energy must be used rationally.

How to mentally cope with a breakup

Recommendations on how to survive a breakup are the same for men and women. Breaking up is a stress that does not care about the difference between the sexes. The internal resources of the body are equally strained and depleted. Without an adequate release of emotions, tension will accumulate and spill out.

Note divorce. Organize a ritual farewell to the relationship. You can gather friends or do it alone. Visualize the relationship with some object, figures. Aloud say goodbye to this stage. It will be easier for the brain to accept and process the fact when you experience it as much as possible. This method is the most popular in psychotherapy. Start with this.
Let me leave. Forbid yourself to pursue your beloved (beloved). Do not guard at the entrance, do not call or write, do not go to the pages in in social networks. If you are not tied business relationship then delete that person.
Don't lose your self-respect. By "chasing" and persecution, you will humiliate yourself. As soon as you feel that you want to look at the page of your loved one, get distracted. Go in for sports, read, talk with a friend, but just don't go in. This is a question and getting rid of. Naturally, in a relationship, both habit and dependence are developed. It's only hard the first time.
Avoid being the victim. Feelings must be accepted. Speak your emotions, state. Admit you are suffering. Describe what is difficult for you to say goodbye to. There is no such thing as a "man as a whole". You yearn for one or more elements. Specify them. Avoid with acceptance. This is destructive thinking. What not to do: feel sorry for yourself, blame yourself, do nothing. Yes, you feel bad, but you have to move.
Do not go to extremes, "zazhory", spree, hard drinking. Maintain tone and vitality. Think about the main life goals, priorities, guidelines. Avoid slavery - with an inadequate, destructive attitude to life, you endow strength and power to the one who left.
Get rid of boredom. You are sad, and that's okay. - a complex of negative experiences in response to the resulting emptiness. Fill the void with something useful before it is filled bad habits. Write down your abilities, interests, and needs on a piece of paper. In the opposite column - the types of activities that correspond to them. Choose the option that is currently best by comparing current needs, interests and. Take care of this immediately. What it could be: refresher courses, study foreign language, learning to play musical instrument, weight loss, career etc.
Find another source of happiness. By and large, you miss yourself in the “clothing” of happiness, and not the person. Understanding, lightness, inspiration, cheerfulness are the main feelings and states that accompany love. Think about where you can get all this: hobbies, work, friends, hobbies, social activities, etc.
Remember yourself. Relationships are work that takes time, effort, parts of the inner "I". The results of the work are encouraging, but something often has to be sacrificed. What did you sacrifice? What do you have time and energy for now? What have you been wanting to do for a long time? Ask yourself this and make a plan personal growth. But please don't grow up to spite the one who quit. This is effective, but bad motivation. So you continue to live for this person, with thoughts about him, based on his preferences and values. Learn to live to your advantage.
Don't let your confidence drop. Remind yourself of personal importance. Praise, compliment, talk about the virtues. Don't blame yourself for the breakup, don't insult yourself. Start the morning with a declaration of love for yourself in front of a mirror, wishes of success and compliments.
Avoid provocation former lover don't become a toy. Don't let yourself be baited and thrown again. Do not respond to jokes and rudeness. Follow the second item on the list - completely delete from life. Learn how to recognize and resist manipulation in the article.

Afterword

If you really want to, take a day to accept the breakup, to tears in the pillow, ice cream and TV shows. But not more than a day! And just allow, feel the control. And the very next day, draw up and implement a plan for self-development, implementation own desires. Go out into the world, find new acquaintances and love.

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Few people have ever in their life had to part for a long time with the closest and dearest person in the world.

Almost always, this becomes a serious test, especially if you cannot imagine life without a second half. How to spend the days of separation with minimal moral damage?

The modern intense rhythm of life dictates its own rules. So sometimes you have to agree to a temporary separation from your loved one - because of study, work, housing, or some kind of difficult life situations. In the event that two people only test their feelings, these partings are very difficult: suspicions, doubts and thoughts arise, how to keep a loved one.

In any case, separation is always associated with mental suffering, especially for someone who did not initiate it. It happens that resentment or the fire of passion flares up with more greater strength and then the wait becomes unbearable. A couple who are about to part for a while should study the experience of “experienced” lovers who know exactly how to survive separation.

We can't live without each other!

At the thought of separation, the question immediately arises: how long can a couple hold out, while maintaining strong feelings? And stay, in fact, a couple. The results of statistical surveys showed that 17% of the respondents were ready to endure a three-month separation; 27% believe that feelings last no more than six months; 36% are ready for a one-year separation. Desperate romantics, who made up 15%, believe in the possibility of love at a distance of two whole years. Finally, the remaining 5% sincerely hope that lovers and five years of separation are not a hindrance.

Here we must understand that parting is different from parting, and its cause is of great importance. When the goal for which you have to endure separation is extremely important for both of you, when the decision to part is made together, when neither side is morally infringed at the same time, then, perhaps, temporary separation will only make your relationship stronger and allow you to test them for strength.

back side medals

Even if you feel very bad, you must remember that love torments bring spiritual experience that nothing can replace. Everyone wants to experience big love, but for some reason no one is preparing for possible troubles and heartache. The reverse side of the coin that is present in love is sadness. If you are a strong person or consider yourself one, learn from your negative experiences.

Of course, suffering is also different. Sometimes they do not enrich the personality, but destroy it, turning into a masochistic complex. A person no longer sees anything around, except for his own suffering, he revels in them, while poisoning his existence and the lives of loved ones. Such fanatical love threatens with neurosis, headaches, fainting, decreased immunity. According to modern psychologists, passionate love can be equated with diseases such as alcoholism and drug addiction. Therefore, it is better not to bring yourself to a difficult time when parting with your loved one. depression.

The first days are the hardest

At this time, you are not yet used to the fact that the second half is not around. However, try to be as optimistic as possible. No need to stock up on handkerchiefs and sob while watching your favorite melodrama - this way you will only irritate yourself. Better watch a new comedy or invite friends you haven't seen for a long time to visit. You should look for an answer not to a meaningless question: “How can I live without her (him)?”, But to a very real one: “How can I spend this time with maximum benefit for myself?”

The first days of separation are suitable for planning your actions for the period of separation. It's no secret that the absence of a loved one provides a good opportunity to "unload" your personal time a little. Remember what you chronically lacked time for, what you have long dreamed of, what unfinished business you have. Just make a plan of your actions by day - and start implementing it.

Focus on yourself

It must be admitted: when your loved one was around, most of your energy went into the furnace of relationships. Now is the time to take care of yourself! Women should be advised to take baths, go for massages, facials, manicures and pedicures, go shopping.

Strengthen yourself spiritually: someone tries to support those in need of help, someone is engaged in meditation, and someone is brought to a peaceful state of mind by simply contemplating the glare on the water or classical music.

Surround yourself with family during this difficult time. If your relationships with family and friends have suffered significantly due to the fact that you devoted most of your time to your soul mate, then now comes the most best period to restore old connections.

Positive, and once again positive!

Many people choose active rest separation is no coincidence. This is entirely justified: joyful emotions help to dull, and even completely smooth out the bitterness of parting.

You haven't seen each other for a long time best friend? Couldn't find time to go to the city beach or to the movies? Dreamed of spending time at home noisy party? Use the time of separation to meet friends, have fun with them.

Comfort at work is also a great method, because some of us find it much easier to cope with separation and in general with any troubles by keeping ourselves busy. So divert your thoughts from love productive activity- a great way out. take extra work to the house, linger in the office, finish the "tails", take hold of new project, resolve the accumulated issues with superiors and colleagues.

Of course, here, too, it is necessary to observe a reasonable measure. Don't be a workaholic! Excessive emphasis on work will lead to overwork, physical exhaustion and stress. And then, finally returning home, your half will find there a person exhausted and exhausted by work - and you hardly want to present such a surprise.

A forgotten hobby will also come to the rescue in the fight against depression. Feel free to get an untied scarf or sketchbook with paints from distant drawers. It will be even better to discover something new for yourself, something that you never thought of doing before. So, you can unexpectedly get carried away by floriculture or some kind of extreme sport.

Experiment, look for an activity that can please you.
Separation from a loved one is not a reason to be sad. This time can be used to implement long-term plans, new discoveries and achievements, devote it to yourself and the fulfillment of your desires.

Little tricks against longing

If, despite everything, you feel loneliness and unbearable longing in separation, then there are a lot of psychological tricks helping to get rid of negative feelings.

We will talk about little romantic and sentimental tricks that will help keep the separation tender feelings And intimacy. To feel the presence of a loved one even when he is not around, you can continue to do the usual things that you did together before separation, for example, morning jogging.

Tell your loved one about your achievements, and let him talk about his successes. Previously, in order to more easily survive separation, it was necessary to write letters and order long-distance calls. And today, the Internet gives lovers a lot of opportunities to communicate in real time and see each other on monitor screens. You can from time to time arrange joint viewing of films at a distance.

If you both like to read, send each other books you read and like with personal notes, and the more intimate they are, the better. Frank messages sent to personal mail also enliven feelings. So do not skimp on emotions and write to each other more often nice words from which the heart melts.

In every separation - a new meeting!

When the time of separation flies (great if you spend it usefully), you will need to adequately prepare for the return of a loved one. Tidy up the house, get ready delicious dinner or book a table in a restaurant. Be sure to prepare some kind of surprise - flowers, a poster (for example, "Welcome back!"), nice gift. Let your loved one understand how important the moment of meeting is for you. Yes, and you will be pleased with such chores.

If your efforts have paid off and your feelings have not cooled off, an adaptation period awaits you, which will consist not only in enjoying physical intimacy, which is inaccessible to both during long months. Sincere conversations, joint everyday activities (shopping, cooking dinner or walking in the park), in which romance has reappeared, will become the apotheosis of happiness after a long wait for a meeting.

anna base

Man is originally a social being who cannot live without communication with his own kind. Therefore, our whole life is a series of meetings and farewells. And how you treat the inevitable depends on your relationship with people in the future.

At first, you see only the best and most beautiful in the object of your love. But in the life of each of us there comes a moment when we have to say goodbye. There can be many reasons for this. But the most inexplicable of them is the departure of a loved one. A lot of questions are crowded in my head, thoughts are confused and life becomes gray shade longing.

Depending on how long the relationship was, parting can be different.

A romance that lasted several months is hard to break. But the two do not yet know all the advantages and disadvantages of their soulmate and therefore cannot reliably assess the scale of the loss. It is difficult to lose the one you love, but during this period you have not yet recognized each other, and you have already managed to part. This speaks volumes. On your life path, you met the wrong person that you need.
Marriage that lasts more than 3 years. This is an already formed family, which has its own traditions and concepts of marriage. The separation of such couples is difficult. Passion and love have not yet faded away, it seems that everything can be corrected and “rewritten” family life again. But this is a delusion. If a person leaves, then he is uncomfortable with you today. By the way, the decision to leave the family is very difficult. Especially a man. After all, no matter how rude it sounds, a person is a very lazy creature and it is still necessary to decide to change the usual sofa, TV and kitchen for the unknown. So, he did not make his decision today. This is a carefully thought out and calculated action.
And finally, the most difficult and tragic breakups are inherent in those people who have been married or in a relationship for more than 10 years. These are established couples who, at times, think one thought for two. There is so much here close connection that each half really feels like a part of something whole. Break such strong bonds happens to be very difficult. And both to the one from whom they leave, and to the one who leaves. For the most part, these are marriages in which there are children. It is they who suffer the most from the breakup of parental relationships. If adults, albeit with difficulty, but can understand the deed of the departing, then it can be impossible for children to explain this.

The first and most important thing to understand is that you should not get depressed after breaking up with your loved one. This will only exacerbate an already incomprehensible situation. Try to get over yourself and follow some of the advice of people who have experienced a breakup.

The chaos that is going on in the head and soul at this time is simply beyond words. Questions are queuing for answers. The most intrusive of them:

- Why?

- For what?

Why did this happen to me?

The answers to all these questions lie on the surface. It’s just that you don’t fit together and the reason is not only one of you. In a breakup, both partners are always to blame. And it happened to you because you just met on your way the wrong person who was supposed to be your destiny. Do not dwell on self-blame, do not blame yourself and do not indulge in bitter thoughts.

Throw out all the accumulated negativity once, cry bitterly, close yourself in your room for a day and take pity on your loved one. But only one day. Do not flirt and do not feel sorry for yourself for too long. Otherwise, you are threatened with depression, which will result in self-doubt and low self-esteem. Tell your mother about your grief or best friend, but in no case about parting with a loved one in social networks. Nevertheless, this is a deeply intimate incident that should not please your "well-wishers".

Upset? Enough! Pull yourself together and start doing your daily activities. It will be very difficult for you to force yourself, but it really helps to disconnect from emotional tension.

Now you need to "put an end." Understand that the flame of hope for the revival of relations that burns in your heart is better to crush at the very beginning. This does not mean that you will not give a second chance to your loved one. Man is a rational being who can make mistakes, so your passion will be able to return to you only if you yourself want it. Just put up with what is today and do not allow the thought of begging your loved one for the return. Don't be humiliated. If a person decides so, then this is his decision, which must be respected. Let him go if you really love him. Consider the moment of his departure as a "point" in the epic of your love story.

Never make plans that supposedly will help you get your loved one back. Especially if it's a trick. Lies, sooner or later, will be revealed and it will only get worse. Do not lose respect for yourself, do not "roll" at the feet of your beloved and do not beg for a return. Then you will be very ashamed of yourself in front of others and yourself.

If you decide to act on the basis of common sense and reason, do not deviate from the intended goal. Get rid of intrusive thoughts like:

- Where else can I find such (such);

“I will never be as good as I used to be;

— Who now needs my presence on this Earth;

“I will never love anyone again.

Rave! Do not escalate the situation, sweep unnecessary thoughts out of your head, like old rubbish from a house. It is rightly said that thoughts are material. They only hurt, and they will not bring any benefit.

Our suffering is 90% our fantasies, which we experience again and again. Write on a piece of paper all your experiences and for each of them give 5 facts that this is true. It is doubtful that you will be able to substantiate even one of your obsessions.

The advice of psychologists on how to survive a breakup with a loved one and not fall into despair is unequivocal - get distracted from unnecessary thoughts.

Force yourself to connect with other people. Try to switch your attention to their problems and questions. By isolating yourself from the world, you will only drive yourself into a corner even more and be left alone with your experiences. It's great if your work is connected with communication with people. Even if you get angry at someone around you, you can distract yourself from thinking about yourself. Especially this moment will be convenient in order to feel the parental "wing" again. Haven't been in for a long time home? Drop everything and go to mom and dad. Walk around your native places, visit places where you have not been since childhood. Talk to your parents, sit down family table. Meet old friends, remember happy moments and stories from adolescence. This is really proven advice that is worth listening to.
Try to feel different. Change your hairstyle, styling, make-up style, clothes or behavior. Any experiments on oneself during the period of parting with a loved one will certainly be crowned with success. After all, the zeal with which a person is attached to making changes in his life during a period of mental disorder can give its results for the maximum a short time.
Nothing helps? Thoughts continue to torment day and night? Travel to long journey. New people, new countries and nature, all this, like a balm for the soul, will be shed on a wounded heart. Go for as long as circumstances and means permit. The longer the better. Laze on the beach, go to restaurants and nightclubs, sightseeing, indulge in saving shopping. In general, do everything not to be left alone with your thoughts. Most importantly, in this mess of events, you can forget your difficulties, but there is also the opportunity to meet new relationships.
Do good deeds! Go to the Baby House and play with the children, visit the Nursing Home, help your grandmother cross the road or buy her bread in the store. By doing good deeds, we begin to respect ourselves and take pride in our ability to be empathetic and the right person. This significantly increases self-esteem and helps to distract from the oppressive feeling of uselessness and loneliness. No need to "rush into the embrasure" and with increased fanaticism take on the overwhelming problems of strangers. Believe me, now you yourself need help.
This advice is rather for those who have a literary talent. Pour out your pain on paper in prose or write poems about parting with a loved one. Perhaps this experiment will radically change your life and help you become a successful writer. In addition, your life experience is invaluable for those who have their whole life ahead of them. This work will help someone not to break loose and not to do trouble in difficult times.

What can not be done when a loved one leaves

Do not alienate loved ones and those who really want to help you in this difficult situation. Accept their help and do not close yourself in loneliness in your misfortune. By pushing everyone around, you will be left alone with your problems. And then it will be much more difficult for you to get out of depression. It is advisable, of course, to follow the tips described above, but you also need to know what not to do.

Never start a new relationship to spite your former passion. Your emotional experiences will be noticeable to a new partner, and this hurts his pride and feelings. In addition, it is unlikely that you will be able to act and feel consciously in this situation. This romance will be doomed to another parting. Survive one misfortune or two, and even hurt someone who loves you - you choose.
Do not accumulate in your soul plans for revenge in relation to the one who left you. Revenge is the weapon of the weak and stupid. Be above this low feeling. Besides, how can you "hook" the one to whom you are now indifferent? The result will be your additional suffering from the fact that you have simply exposed yourself to ridicule. In addition, seeing that you are not doing anything, the beloved will once again think about whether he made the right choice or not.
Put away all your joint photos and video albums. Do not tear, do not wash, and do not throw away, just hide and forget this place for a while. Don't torture yourself with memories of happy times when you were there. These thoughts simply will not allow you to be distracted from your experiences, and you will again leave reality into the world of illusions. Know that if you could feel happy in the past, then in the future you will find even greater happiness.
And the most important thing! Try to keep yourself with dignity even when fate brings you face to face. Don't beg for reciprocity. If he is not next to you, then so be it.
Children. These are the ones who are most hurt by the breakup of their parents. They are the first to lose their footing and understand that now it will never be the same as before. Let it be bad, let it be hard, but not like when the family was together. They are frightened by the future and now it is necessary to think not only about their mental balance, but also about preventing them from being depressed. If you are recently divorced and have children in your arms, never manipulate their feelings. A person who left a family will never return to it only for the sake of children. Instead, let them communicate. Let the "traitor" himself understand what he needs in this life. In addition, the children will understand that nothing has changed for them. No one died or left their lives, everything remained in its place, only now you live separately.

The most terrible delusion is “what if…”. Don't be fooled! You can’t turn back time, and no matter what you did in the past, if a person left, then he had been hatching this plan for a long time.

Remember Yesenin? I don’t regret, I don’t call, I don’t cry, everything will go away like smoke from white apple trees ...

This is how your suffering will pass and the memories of the feeling that is tearing your heart today will be erased.

December 28, 2013, 09:19 Each of us at least once, but suffered the burden of parting with a loved one. He endured the pain of separation, the feeling of loneliness, the collapse of all hopes. But everyone bears it in their own way, someone falls into a terrible depression, shedding rivers of tears every day, someone drowns their grief in alcohol, someone goes headlong into work, someone tries to quickly switch to someone else . But no matter what we do, mental trauma does not heal so quickly, and torments us for some time. The past will remind of itself, constantly reopening an unhealed wound. How to get out of this situation with the least losses.

The content of the article:

What awaits us after the break?

For the first time in days, we are still experiencing the shock of hearing the words about the breakup. We refuse to believe in all this. Your loved one insistently says that everything is over, there can be nothing more between you, and you listen and cannot believe it, it seems that what is happening is just a dream, and besides, it is not happening to you at all. And when you already begin to understand everything, to realize, this is where it all begins, tears of despair, indescribable heartache, unwillingness to put up with what is happening. Everything, emptiness, life collapsed, that one collapsed happy life, which they imagined together, which they dreamed of, all plans for the future, everything, nothing else. Loneliness, and the feeling that a half of you was taken away. But here you need to immediately realize that no matter how painful it is, life goes on, and whatever one may say, you also need to continue your life, but without him.

Many prefer to turn to friends for help. Agree it is much easier to become when there is an opportunity for someone to cry, to hear advice, to receive support.

Some in such a situation try to protect themselves from others, go somewhere to the country, or lock themselves up at home, not answering calls, and a sea of tears, blocks of smoked cigarettes, insomnia, swollen eyes, etc. It is best not to withdraw into yourself in such moments. It is very difficult for one to cope with grief, recovery in this case will be very long and painful.

Someone prefers to indulge in all serious, break away to the fullest, visit discos, nightclubs, drink alcohol. But even in this state, one should not forget about the measure. Of course you can visit fun event- unwind, cheer yourself up, and there, maybe meet your fate. But sleeping with the first person you meet is not recommended, since casual relationships never lead to good. And in this situation, they are unlikely to be comforting. Then you can regret even more and much stronger. Alcohol is also not a way out of the situation, it is unlikely that it will help to forget, on the contrary, feelings and pain can play out with even greater force, and the appearance and health will not be reflected in the best way.

What will help us?

Doctors say that sport is the best way to cope with stress. You need to overpower yourself and go to the gym. Walks in nature are also treated.

It is necessary to comprehend and consider everything well, because we are all adults, and we need to soberly assess the current situation. This will come in handy in the future as well. Think about what you were wrong about, maybe you undeservedly hurt him, offended him, of course, he also cannot be an angel, but still it’s worth considering everything well, weighing the pros and cons. Only such an analysis should be carried out exclusively on your own, without the help of anyone, because these are your feelings, and the relationship was only yours, and only you can judge them. Don't call him and beg him to come back. Most likely, it will annoy him, well, and amuse his pride - "she suffers because of me." Do not blame yourself too much, so you can earn an inferiority complex. Life is what it is, everyone breaks up sooner or later.

You were left alone, and this is not at all because you are unlucky, fat, old or ugly, no, the card just fell out like that. This is true today, but life is such an amazing thing that fate has left you alone now, only because it has in store for you a trump card, a real “prince on a white horse”, well, or on a black BMW. Agree, it's stupid to cry and suffer about the past, not knowing what awaits you in the future.

your future it depends only on you, you just need to believe that everything that is done in our life is for the best.

In order to make it easier to endure a breakup with a loved one, you can follow some of the rules described below. It would seem that who can be an adviser in such spiritual matters, but you can’t do without advice, instructions, since you can just go crazy digging into your memories and the past. Believe me, it has been proven by bitter experience.

Any event, even the saddest one, has its own positive points, advantages and benefits. Before you come to the conclusion that life no longer makes sense and luck has turned away from you, you should check whether this is really so.

In that case, you can make a list, in which to bring only the positive aspects of your parting. You need to understand how it benefits you, and put this list in a prominent place.

In such a list, for example, you can add such an item as: “Free communication with friends a man”, “Do not be afraid to give rise to jealousy”, “Finally you can wear short skirt" etc. The bigger your list, the better.

And yet, such an old axiom as “everything is for the best in the best of the worlds” cannot fail to work. Remembering Demi Moore. It was also not easy for her to part with the Hollywood sex symbol actor Bruce Willis. The newspapers were full of pity for her, but all this was until she began dating a young Hollywood star Ashton Kutcher. Proving once again that the good is the enemy of the best. The reward for her pain, experiences has become new wave popularity, a famous young lover and a contract with Versace. Therefore, you should not go to extremes, it is still unknown what gifts life is preparing for you.

It is worth solving all unfinished business with your ex when you are able to remain calm and composure. Such a delicate operation must be carried out very delicately, so that from the rank ex boyfriend he did not become an enemy.

You need to part beautifully so that there are no quarrels, fights, any showdowns, insults, this is useless. It is unlikely that they will bring you both joy, nothing good will happen from this.

Do not take revenge and quarrel to the last. You should not take gifts, or throw gifts at him that he once gave you, this is low, because what was done before the break was done with completely different feelings.

It is best to part with a person so that later you can become friends, or at least not commemorate each other with an evil word. If you still have his things, or vice versa, it is better to call and agree in advance on when you can pick them up. Do not try !

Anger will pass sooner or later, and how then to remember your actions? What if, by chance, fate once again brings together, in some way, how to behave in such a situation? After all, it will be a shame to look into your eyes later.

Still, in this situation it is better to maintain adequacy and correctness. It is better to remain grateful to the person who gave you a lot happy days and hours, minutes and moments.

During such a period of time, it is best present your plans for the future. What are you going to do, becoming a completely free and independent person. Present your perspective.

Can get together and "wave" to the sea, or to Paris, or to Venice. Repaint in a burning brunette or a dazzling blonde. Learn to dance Latin dances, etc. You can go to some useful courses, or pass on the rights.

It is best if it does not enter into your plans for now. Thus, torn between an ex and a future boyfriend, you will forget about the most important person in your life: yourself. Very soon you will meet a new lover, but until this happens, enjoy your freedom. And if you still want the new lover to be much better than the previous one, then in this case, you should use the time to good use and become the best. Set a goal and persevere towards it. As an option, you can create a list of your desires, make a kind of wish book, decorating it with appropriate pictures. Thoughts materialize, no matter how, so it’s worth dreaming and striving for something beautiful. Such, on the one hand, children's fun will bear fruit, no doubt. It’s only worth dreaming about something real and more accessible.

Change yourself!

Agree, probably the biggest test for a girl is the first meeting with the former. Since no one has yet repealed the law of meanness, the former must meet exactly at the moment when we unwashed head, in old pants we go with loaded bags from the store.

For many girls, for some reason, parting with a loved one is to some extent associated with a huge amount, extra pounds gained, unkempt hair, etc. Are you claiming the title of a girl who does not love herself? If this is not so, and you want to conquer men's hearts, urgently need to take care of yourself!

Don't make your friends feel sorry for you. You need to discipline yourself, especially since you now have much more time for yourself. You can make all kinds of skin masks without fear of scaring anyone with your appearance. It's time to go to a beauty salon, in addition to looking great, all procedures, from pedicure to solarium, will be morally beneficial. Yes, and when meeting with the former, you will look stunning, let him once again regret what he refused. Let everyone think that parting has only benefited you.

Once again, having analyzed well why you broke up, you should not blame yourself for everything. Even if you have given some reason for this, nothing is done just like that, think, maybe it was He who provoked you to such behavior or actions? Maybe it's so much easier for him to leave than to admit his guilt in something. Just to not be guilty in this situation. Or maybe there really was no love, just affection. If you have to part with someone or something, it is best to let it go with a light soul, if you really both have sincere and bright feelings, real love, then everything can still come back. When people simply cannot live without each other, despite the mistakes made by someone, they forgive. To love, to some extent, means to be able to forgive. We all learn from our mistakes, and if we are ready to change something in ourselves for the sake of our loved one, then this is worth doing, because no matter how you look at it, love is the most wonderful feeling that transforms people. Feelings in this case should be sincere.

If you broke up, and one of the two of you does not agree to reconciliation, then what is there to kill yourself, spoil your nerves, health, then this is not the person whom fate has prepared for you. It means that your true love is walking somewhere, and waiting for you to appear in his life, and you are crying and grieving over the past.

You should not do this, no matter how painful it is, as they say patience, and work will grind everything, time heals, everything passes and is forgotten. The one who faces his past turns his back on his future, the past is the past, that has already passed and cannot be returned, but your future can still be corrected. So do not panic, everything is exclusively in your hands. Correct yourself, correct your future. Do not leave yourself to your own will, because the one who appreciates and loves himself attracts the same feelings. Love yourself, pamper yourself, because you deserve it, and until you do it yourself, no one will.

Life is still beautiful, no matter how difficult it is, because we continue to move forward, fight for our happiness, climb up. Look around, how many beautiful things are around. Open yourself to the beautiful, passion makes us better. Do not waste time in vain, life does not stand still. And it’s definitely not worth going through parting for a long time, nothing good will come of it, and when everything is forgotten, you yourself will understand that it was really, how stupid it was to suffer for a person who was not destined for you by fate, hugging that one and only who seeks to make first of all happy you!

Don't focus on one thing, don't stand still. Man was created for this, to feel, to forgive, to love, there is no way without feelings, people are not robots. In order to endure all the hardships and hardships more easily, you need to soberly assess the situation, is it worth it in this case. Love, quarrels, breakups, tears and depression are all components complete picture our life. A person cannot do without love, cannot help but love, and accordingly wants to be loved, but in order to meet his fate, sometimes you need to go a long and not always pleasant way.