Italian language family and marital status. Does Italy save money on a family? About daughters and maternal jealousy

Family in Italy is a very important concept. That is why one of the most famous national traits of Italians is attachment to the family. And word family understand both in the narrow and in the broad sense of the word. In the narrow sense of the word, this is a father, mother, their parents and children. In a broad sense, this is all relatives, numerous uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters, that is, all those who can be called proud name relatives.

Family ties in Italy are very strong, for example, there are firms consisting only of members of one family. And it can be not only small restaurants or shops, but also more large companies(law offices, accounting firms). In addition, if one person from the family occupies a high position in a large firm, he tries to slowly “drag” his relatives there.

However, with all the importance concepts Italian family , Italians are not particularly in a hurry to create new ones. Before getting married, they live together for quite a long time, sometimes this period can last more than 10 years. And this is understandable, because Italian men there is something to think about, because during a divorce, a wife has the right to life maintenance from her husband, unless, of course, she gets an official job or officially marries. The funny thing about this situation is that if ex-wife has an informal income and lives with a new admirer, ex-husband must keep it. Plus, the wife can claim part of the pension after the death of her husband.
If a couple finally decides to legalize their relationship, then most of the expenses fall on the shoulders of the parents, since a wedding in Italy is an important event, and it should remain in the memory of all relatives and friends.

As for the role father and mother in an Italian family- not everything is as simple as it seems at first glance.
Let's start with the fact that Italians are wonderful actresses. They simply pretend to be submissive and quiet wives, providing their husband with a real rear. In fact, it is they who are the heads of families, suggesting to their man that he is the most determined, strong and strong-willed. Although in reality this may not be the case at all. They pamper their sons, thereby tying them to themselves. And then they reap the fruits of their labors. This is shown by statistics - almost three-quarters of thirty-year-old Italians live with their parents.

As for children, Italy is no longer a country large families, and, as a rule, in a family, only one, maximum two children. But children are allowed almost everything. This is probably why they are so unruly and noisy. Plus, adults are very tolerant of children. At the same time, children from infancy are introduced to many aspects adulthood: they are taken to restaurants, to everything family dinners and rituals. As a result, Italian children grow up very quickly, as they are already familiar with many aspects of life from childhood.

If we talk about Italian friendship, then it, of course, does not matter as much as family. However, the Italians consider it very important to belong to a group.
"Real" friends appear in childhood - they can be classmates or neighbors, and such friendship lasts a lifetime. Moreover, the circle of old friends is very closed, it is almost impossible to get there.
Later, so-called "necessary" friends appear at the university who can help in various situations. The number of such friends can be huge.

It is generally accepted that Italians are very friendly and this friendliness is ostentatious. But in fact, this is absolutely not the case. Italians are really friendly towards foreigners and do not ask for anything but friendliness in return. After all, such friendship has no consequences - a foreigner will not ask them to attach their relatives to work if they come to Italy.

These are the Italians!

You can learn more about the traditions that exist in an Italian family, as well as much more at The Language Embassy.

Most Russians have never been abroad, and if they have been, it is exclusively on tourist trips. Tourists often see the most better side life, thanks to which there is an opinion that everything is good everywhere, but not in Russia.

Italy gave birth to the concept known throughout the world as dolce vita. Tourists who are attracted by the rich cultural heritage, mild subtropical climate, wonderful beaches, seek to capture the main touches of this lifestyle, and try to adopt foreigners who come here in search of a better destiny.

It seems that against the backdrop of world-famous architectural landmarks, surrounded by vibrant landscapes, in Italy, life flows in a special way - rich, dynamic, stormy - in a word, like in a movie. It is natural that dolce vita is a purely Italian concept.

This theme is also heard in a detailed story about living in sunny Italy by a native of Belgorod, and now a resident of the small resort town of Pineto (Abruzzo region, Teramo province) on the Adriatic coast and the wife of a native Italian. Now Olga is a housewife. At my request, she told me about how the life of an Italian family looks from the inside.

About home bookkeeping

The most significant item of expenditure in the family budget is utility bills. By the way, receipts for public utilities are paid mainly once every two months, for water supply and drainage - once every three months.

Almost half of my husband's salary is eaten up by paying for a "communal apartment", buying gasoline for two cars (each of us has our own) and medicines (they are quite expensive).

How much does a "communal" cost? Our family uses gas for an average of 1,000 euros per year. For water we pay about two hundred euros annually, for a landline phone with internet - 390 euros. Payment for electricity costs about 540 euros per year, garbage disposal - 250 euros. Is it a lot or a little? Judge for yourself: our family's income is 2,200 euros per month.

Regarding electricity, gas supply, telephone with Internet, in Italy, subscribers themselves choose the company that provides these services, competition reigns in the respective markets.

Various tariff offers. Say, a month ago we used the services of an organization offering consumers a cheaper tariff for electricity in the evening and at night and a more expensive one during the day. Then they decided to change the energy supply company, since such a tariff prompted that most of the homework carried over to the night.

At some point, I decided that it was burdensome and that I had had enough. Therefore, my husband and I chose a tariff from another organization. Now we pay the same for electricity consumption both day and night.

Pretty much in Italy expensive products nutrition. But a wide range, and you can choose food for every taste. A big plus is that all products are of high quality and buyers do not even have doubts.

For compliance sanitary norms there is very tight control. There is no chance of running into expired food in the supermarket or food that was stored or transported improperly.

Most Pineto residents buy their goods in supermarkets, as well as in specialized small shops. Let's say meat and cheese, I often buy from the same store. There is no market in Pineto that would work on all days.

Our market is only open on Saturday. In neighboring cities - on other days of the week. Markets usually sell fruits and vegetables. There are also clothing markets where you can buy clothes and shoes.

It is probably not news to you that in Italy there are very strong family ties, especially when compared with other European countries or the USA. Italians closely communicate with members of their family "clan". In Italy, these are numerous relatives, close and not so close - aunts, uncles, cousins ​​and cousins ​​who gather for celebrations - weddings, anniversaries.

All family members meet at Christmas. It is also customary to invite one of the relatives to dinner on Sunday or on holidays. But a dinner is just a dinner, and not a “gull” that is arranged in Russia.

At a dinner party, an Italian hostess serves two or three home-made hot dishes, coffee with dessert, and fruit. But the family in Italy is not only to arrange gatherings at the laid table.

If someone gets to the hospital, relatives visit him, are on duty near the patient, although the patient is constantly looked after by attentive medical staff, and the hospital provides good nutrition and no need to carry food from home.

The family will also come to the rescue in the event that one of the relatives gets into trouble. It can be financial difficulties, judicial red tape. Usually in complex life situations Italians, first of all, count on the support of their "clan", and not friends.

In Italian families, children are spoiled. The whims of the child are usually satisfied. For example, in some families, teenagers from the age of fifteen are allowed by their parents to go to a disco. At discos, there are all sorts of temptations, to put it mildly, useless for young people, to which they can succumb due to lack of sufficient life experience.

The school curriculum in Italy is complex. Without the help of one of the parents or grandparents, not every student can cope with homework.

Therefore, when a child begins to go to school (from the age of six), many working mothers have a choice: to continue working and hire a governess for the child or quit and devote maximum time to studying and raising their child.

There is no such thing as "extension" in Italy. In the first grade, children, one might say, get used to studying at school. The first grader's homework consists of coloring special notebooks.

Primary school has five grades. Incomplete secondary education - plus three more classes, and then another five years of study at the lyceum. And only after the lyceum - higher education.

Universities study from three to five years, after which specialization lasts for another two years. Faces are different. Scientific and classical lyceums provide the highest quality education. They are chosen by boys and girls who plan to receive higher education. You can choose a professional lyceum. This is an analogue of Russian technical schools and vocational schools.

Children preschool age usually go to kindergarten. It can be either a public kindergarten or a private one. Children in the kindergarten do not sleep, which is inconvenient. At 16.00 there are no more pupils in kindergartens. If the baby does not have lunch, then he can only be in the garden until twelve o'clock.

We gave our son to the garden in three years old. There is no state kindergarten near us, so for the first two months, in order for the baby to get used to the team, I took him to a private one. He was there for two hours five times a week. For this we paid 80 euros per month. Also exclusively paid are the lessons of the child in sports sections. For example, attending swimming training costs 40 euros per month.

About the rest

On the weekends, it is not customary for Italians to sit at home watching TV. Spouses, alone or with children, go to cinemas, cafes, pizzerias. As for restaurants, prices are quite high, but Italians do not refuse such pleasure: if it allows family budget, then why not have lunch or dinner at a restaurant once a week.

But such, as they show in the television series, when the hostess did not want to bother with dinner - the family went to the restaurant every day - of course not.

The resort of Pineto has clean, comfortable sandy beaches, where there is a rental of equipment for water sports, everything for beach volleyball, all kinds of entertainment on the water ... Tourists come to Pineto to relax on the Adriatic coast (the water here is crystal clear). Most of all Germans and residents of the northern part of Europe.

Citizens also do not neglect the opportunity to soak up the beaches. The city has plenty of restaurants, pizzerias, bars, souvenir shops. All this for every taste and wallet.

In Italy, places are specially reserved for supporters of outdoor recreation. Usually barbecue is served at picnics, not shish kebab. It would not even occur to an Italian to arrange a picnic somewhere in the forest, in an unauthorized place. The penalty for this will be very significant. Mushroom pickers are also not allowed to go on a "silent hunt" without a special license to pick mushrooms.

Those who like to relax in a crowded place accompanied by loud music will have to go out of town - discos are located at a decent distance from cities. All discos from Pineto are twenty kilometers away. They open at twelve at night and work until the morning. Thus, the authorities protect the peace of citizens from loud music and bright lighting of entertainment facilities.

Quite often I heard the phrase: “Well, what are you cooking in Italy? One pasta." This is a misconception. Certainly, Italian Cuisine famous for flour products. These are pasta, lasagna, ravioli, and tortellini (Italian dumplings with cheese, meat or vegetables), and of course, pizza.

All these foods are present in in large numbers varieties. They are tasty, quite affordable, safe, so Italian housewives can always choose whether to cook some dish themselves or use a semi-finished product.

It should be explained that semi-finished products are of varying degrees of readiness: some are enough to heat up in the microwave, while others only serve as part of the dish that women cook at home. This is very convenient, but most of my friends still cook themselves.

In general, homemade food is highly valued in Italy. If I treat someone to my dish, then it's - "wow!". Store-bought, even tasty, do not deserve such respect.

Everything you need to improve your culinary skills is here. All food products quality, always fresh. You can buy any delicacies of the highest grade. It's no secret that Italians love to eat tasty and satisfying food, so food is a pleasure.

About the feeling of beauty

I will not reveal secrets if I say that the vast majority of Italians are aesthetes. All of them must be beautiful. Starting from the house and the yard and ending general view cities. And the authorities are worried that no one will spoil the picture of the urban landscape.

For example, in Italy you will not see any high-rise building, in which some balconies are glazed, while others are not. Either all are glazed, or none. And the fact is that the owners of apartments decide this at meetings by a majority of votes: whether the balconies will be glazed. If the majority has made a decision, then the dissenters have no choice but to obey the will of the majority. Otherwise, a fine. And a big one.

The cities are clean. Household waste exported depending on the season. Pineto, as I noted above, is a resort town, therefore, when the number of people in the city almost doubles in summer, garbage is taken out more often. By the way, in Italy separate waste collection: organic waste is taken out separately, paper separately and plastic separately. Separation of waste is carried out by each person himself.

Love for comfort and neatness are also manifested in the fact that Italians keep poultry and livestock exclusively in country houses. In the cities it is officially prohibited. Such a strict requirement, however, does not apply to pets: dogs, cats.

There are four-legged "residents" in almost every house. Moreover, the Italians for the most part choose non-pedigreed pets. You can often see how mongrel dogs are walking on reins on the street.

About the cult of youth and grooming

Italians take great care of themselves. appearance. This applies, among other things, depending on the place of the event and the time of day. Simply put, during the day you will not see people dressed in evening dress on the street, and it will not occur to anyone to go to a solemn event dressed in casual style.

Italian women are usually dressed in Italian brands from natural fabrics. A win-win in the daytime for women - dark blue jeans and White shirt. If the Italians somewhere meet before dinner a woman with a bright evening make-up V elegant dress, and even in shoes with “stiletto heels”, they will decide that the señora did not spend the night at home and is returning from the party.

There are many beaches in Pineto, and there are many vacationers on them, but in the evening on the promenade, in city cafes and pizzerias, you will not see people in beach flip-flops, in shorts and T-shirts, in which they were on the beach during the daytime.

If the girls are in shorts and slippers, then these are “going out” shorts - of the appropriate cut and from expensive fabric, and the slippers are leather, can be decorated with rhinestones. By the way, for Italians, a miniskirt and shorts over the age of 40 is a taboo. Even if the figure allows.

I have heard that in Italy the lords are very fond of fur coats. And they boast of them even in relatively warm weather. Have not noticed. At least in Pineto in fur coats from expensive fur I saw older women at Christmas. But popular.

Relatively jewelry , then they are understood here. fashionable White gold with diamonds, emeralds, rubies, sapphires, pearls, in a word, expensive jewelry stones. Preference is given to elegant, not massive products. It is also important that it is from a well-known brand.

Every Italian makes sure that the “jewelry” does not go too far. Here, women know that you can overdo it and become like a Christmas tree. In Italy, this is not a demonstration of wealth, but bad taste. To complete the picture, it must be said that Italians, and not only women, but also men, also carefully look after themselves.

For women, visiting beauty salons is an everyday thing. Do all sorts of things cosmetic procedures: peeling, masks, anti age procedures, waxing. I'm not talking about manicures and pedicures. Manicure with varnish application costs from ten euros, "French" - about 20, and painting on nails - much more expensive.

Men use face creams. No one considers this "not a man's business." In general, looking younger than your age and taking care of your health is a worthy goal for all middle-aged Italians.

At the end of the conversation, I asked my friend what, in her opinion, is the famous dolce vita. Olga, thinking, answered in a philosophical way: this is an understanding that life is fleeting and you need to enjoy the pleasures that it gives, here and now.

And she added, smiling: “In my opinion, for Italians, dolce vita is more of a kind of travel brand that attracts travel lovers. And what's wrong with that? Italy deserves that kind of attention."

I recently read interesting note American M.E. Evans, who married an Italian and lives in his beautiful country. The article is written with humor, sometimes quite "tough", but it is very truthful and will be useful to women who want to marry an Italian.

Therefore, I will try to retell it here, somewhat softening the author's style.

You met a person who is different from everyone you have ever known in your life and moved to Italy. It is likely that your partner is an emotional, passionate, loving, great cook, but uncomfortable alone with a computer. Italians are also devoted to the family, but this service tends to be bittersweet. On the one side, family values are very important, and this is something that is a little lacking in the US, on the other hand, parental loyalty can be exhausting and look like a form of competition.

In many cases, it can be fatal to your own marriage. The Italian Lawyers' League reports that Mother-in-Law has been the number 1 reason for divorce in the country for the past few years. It would be interesting to look at this problem from the point of view of a man who is married to an Italian woman (we think "Mother-in-Law" is a less valid reason, to be honest), but our experience and what others say is that most problems with the parents of the husband arise in women who marry Italian men.

As one person put it, "The mother's vagina is a 'black hole' and the son struggles with gravity throughout his life to avoid being sucked back into it." Summarizing all the observations, we want to say that, in our experience, the problem is not only the mother. Of course, over the years, the Italian mother has done so much for the family that everything is largely up to her, but to be honest, everyone in the Italian family has their own power over the man of your dreams. For example, the Italian mother-in-law really fights with her daughter-in-law, like a champion weightlifter, but her father-in-law, who does not fight, but “educates”, tells what is expected from wives in Italy (i.e. about “debt bondage in front of the family).

And if you do not have patience and wisdom, and, on the other hand, do not want to live like a “good Italian girl”, so that strangers constantly rummaged through your underwear, then relations with the Italian "relatives" can lead to divorce. All Italian families are "crazy" unique, but they are also "typical" in many ways. Therefore, we will try to give some advice, suffered through years of tears and battles, on how to coexist with the family of an Italian husband. They will be able to help you. Probably...Mostly...

1. Don't be sweet and passive. In most cultures, there is an opinion that a woman should be a sweet and passive "kitty", but Italian culture is a little different in this. People mistakenly believe that all Italian women are dominant housekeepers, but this is not always the case. Italian culture is surprisingly misogynistic (which is probably not a "culture"). Italian women can be passionate and hysterically angry. Shouting out the first thing that comes to mind in the heat of anger is much more accepted here than in the US (where it is recommended to suppress hostility until you can strategically build a situation). If you say "yes ma'am, fine sir" in a low, calm tone, it's only a matter of time before the whole family decides you're a sick freak and starts to sit on your head. For example, relatives can be really embarrassed that you do not saw your husband. And your calm, quiet approach may be perceived as a kind of mental inferiority or as a lack of love for your husband. If you loved him, you would yell at him in public places, and, perhaps, called fat in front of his friends, or simply took out his brain for no reason ...

2. Follow their example. See what everyone else in the family is doing and try to be helpful. They will appreciate it. If your family is "classic", then the situation probably looks like this. The men sit prostrated on the couch like sleepy sloths while the women run around them like maniacs trying to redo all household chores.

Unfortunately, if you were born a woman and married an Italian, everyone thinks that running and doing everything around the house is your holy duty. If you try to sit it out, you will receive a lot of reproach, the most insignificant of which will be that you will become a "terrible mother." This, in turn, makes women scream at their own husbands: look how neighbor Francesco works around the house, why can't you be at least a little like him!!!?”

Therefore, even if you are not a lazy person, there is no pleasure in being a maid for lazy men. Try to educate your husband to help you.

3. Eat, but never try to cook. Food doesn't play like that important role in Italian culture, as it is supposed to be, but no matter how good you can cook, you will never be better than your husband's mother. Forget about it. Just praise the food prepared by the mother-in-law and avoid cooking for the family. Even if your dish professional quality- it won't be good enough for them. If you don't want to quarrel, then praise, praise, praise, but never let's compare. Remember: “mother” cooks perfectly, your food is slop, and they will tell you this in your eyes or behind your eyes ...

4. Set boundaries."Italian families see each member as an extension of themselves, there are no boundaries for them." In our experience, this is absolutely true. It doesn't occur to these people that you might object to them staying in your house for the duration of your only vacation of the year. They will fight you, but they won't understand why they can't just buy you orange curtains that they think will look good in your home. Why can't they tell you to your face that you've lost or gained weight? They are just trying to help! If you are not Italian, then you will probably compete with your mother-in-law for the right to decide for herself what to do when your child or husband is sick, or how to manage the costs of each vacation with her own family. You will struggle with the domineering desire of your husband's Italian family to control your style, attitude, sex life just your thoughts.

You want to be fair and understand that family means a lot, but this understanding does not mean that you have to put up with someone else's control and power. If you don't set boundaries right away, sooner or later you will be bitterly disappointed and explode. Make it a rule: if you would not allow your parents to do this, then do not allow your husband's parents either. Just because they are Italian is not enough to be an excuse for behavior that does not take into account your lifestyle or culture. If you have to respect them, then they have to respect you, that's all. We are not saying that you should be rude to your husband's relatives, no, it means that you should be honest with them. Tell them no, or explain why you don't like it when they come back to check on your fridge again and again while you're out in the bathroom for ten seconds.

5. Set boundaries again, but this time with your husband. Again, again and again. It's important that your partner understands what you need and how you feel, but sometimes this can be difficult. Understand your Italian husband too: he needs time to establish boundaries with his parents, because he has never done this before. If they do or say something against you with your mother, this does not mean that you should remain silent. Tell them how you feel. Trust me, if you don't do this, you will become forever resentful and start yelling during fights, “What!? Hungry? Call your mom! Let her breastfeed you!"

Another problem is that the concept of age in Italy is different from other countries. Thirty is an "ancient" age for an American, but very, very "young" in Italy. Your husband's family may really go out of their way to keep him from making decisions for himself because he's "too young." And your husband will often feel like he can't process big decisions in his head because they convinced him he was too young. You will have to teach him this, as fifteen-year-olds are taught in other countries, such as the United States, if you want to live with him any longer. If you succeed, then everything will change. And it will become second nature to him, and from now on you will be a team that can hold hands and shout to his parents: "NO, you have no right ...!!!" Yes, yes, shouting to Italian parents is something that in itself is amazing.

6. Learn to brush off criticism. You are bound to encounter whining and criticism far greater than what you are used to in your family. Just accept that they probably do the same to their own children and try to be sarcastic about it. You really must have good feeling humor. Sometimes it's hard when your mother-in-law tells you for the ten millionth time that you're dressed horribly and you always have a "mess" and then you start to feel really bad. Well, if after a while you realize how stupid it was, and just start laughing at her. It will work better if your husband sets some boundaries for his parents that they should not cross.

7. Don't try to "fit in" with your husband's family. You are not Italian. Even if you speak Italian fluently, dress like an Italian, look Italian, you will never be one of them. There will always be something that sets you apart from them, and that is probably why your partner loved and married you from the very beginning. I know it's a trite word cliché, but really, just be yourself. Eventually, after many years, they will get used to this "strange immigrant". Probably. I will let you know when it happens :).

8. Love them. I know it can be difficult, but try to love your Italian "relatives" even if they annoy you to death. Try to remind yourself that these problems are partly cultural, partly insanity, but partly they're just trying to be good parents for his son, protecting him from the "evil of this world."

When they try to drive you crazy - just remember that this is probably due to their nature, or fear, or traditions, or brainwashing habits, and this is not a personal attack on you - this is their lifestyle. Except when they look at your breasts and say they're no good and then tell everyone in the bridal shop that "it's impossible for her to find a dress because her boobs are so small!". This fi ... nya is completely personal!

Sourced from survivinginitaly.com

But here I have to disappoint you: this is not true, or rather, not quite true.

Anna Chertkova with children

About fertility

Italians are no longer the ones we are used to from films with Sophia Loren and Marcello Mastroianni: in the north of the country they give birth one at a time, rarely two at a time - a child. Southerners will still be more active. However, the average birth rate in Italy remains at a much lower level compared to other countries. European countries level.

Why? Yes, because Italians simply cannot afford more than one child and, out of completely selfish motives, do not want to give up their usual - comfortable - standard of living. Italian women give birth to children already after 30, and sometimes even closer to 40 years, when they are firmly on their feet, and the loan for the apartment has almost been paid off.

Bambinimania

But having been born, the kids - bambini - become the real masters of life. Children in Italy are allowed literally everything and even a little more: it is not surprising that local children have an “enviable” reputation as the most ill-mannered among young Europeans.

The all-consuming love of Italians for babies - both their own and strangers - has long been known to the whole world. Balloons are given to them in children's clothing stores, elderly couples waiting in vain for their grandchildren on the tram are shamelessly touched by strangers, mothers of teenagers without ceremony stick their heads into the stroller with a baby “see who is so pretty here with us?” crossing ... And they give, give, give - lollipops, compliments, kisses ...

Italians do not bother to hide their emotions: the little one is handsome and rosy-cheeked, so why not please his mother with a compliment and advice, and at the same time - since we are already talking! - not to tell how his own son Matteo suffered from colic in infancy? And really, why?

About the features of motherhood

Anna Chertkova with her daughter

I sometimes think that Italian mothers are the most selfless in the world. Well, otherwise how to explain the manic desire to seat an adult five-year-old child in a stroller with a pacifier and in a diaper? This is probably why, knowing who they are dealing with, many Italian kindergartens are among mandatory requirements the ability to use the toilet is taken out separately for the baby. But in kindergarten, almost every morning, I watch how one cunning mother changes her five-year-old son from a diaper into panties in the children's toilet.

What about nipples? It seems to me that the Italian habit of frantically gesticulating when talking comes from childhood, when five-year-olds, in general, are fine talking kids, are forced to communicate with gestures because of the nipple-gag in their mouth. Well, or by moving the nipple to its side, in the manner of an extinct cigarette, as I once saw in the Milan subway.

What about strollers? Either Italian mothers want to imitate Hollywood ones with an accessory child dressed in the same tone, or they are categorically opposed to their child walking on the ground on his own. One of my Russian acquaintances once very aptly quipped: “The guy is already six, soon he will go to school and then get married, and his mother is always rolling him in a stroller!”

About daughters and maternal jealousy

Against the backdrop of general bambino euphoria, parents (especially mothers) have completely different attitudes towards girls and boys. Dads do not have a soul in daughters, mothers nurse their sons, and everywhere so far, congratulating future mother, they wish her to give birth to a son: “Auguri e figli maschi!” (“Congratulations and wishing a son!”). Yes, and the Italian mothers of children of different sexes themselves secretly admit to preferring the son of their own daughter - and even put candles on the Madonna, praying to send down the boy. The son is a favorite of the mother, and the daughter is seen as almost a competitor in beauty, youth and ... father's love.

Why? According to some of my moms I know, sons are funnier and more fun, and easier to find with them. mutual language. And, in the words of my local friend, “no one will ever look at you with such love as your son.” In addition, the reason for preferring sons is in the mentality, when boys were supposed to be the successor of the family name and the keeper of the state and estate, and girls, if they could not be married in time, were assigned the role of free nurses for elderly parents.

So it turns out that Italian mothers themselves grow mammoni from their beloved boys - sissy.

About sons and sissies

The famous Italian song about an emigrant who, after many years of separation, finally returns home, is the most real ode to love, which all Italian men, without exception, dedicate to Main Woman His Life - his own mother. “Mom, I’m so happy because I’m coming back to you (…). Mom, you are my most beautiful song, you are my life, and we will never part again. ("Mamma, sono tanto felice perché ritorno da te (...). Mamma, la canzone mia più bella sei tu, sei tu la vita e per la vita non ti lascio mai più").

There is probably no Italian in the world who would not be sure that his mother is the best at cooking lasagna, ironing shirts, running a house and raising children - and she tries to convey this “truth” to her young wife, often provoking Italian passions with beating utensils. Interestingly, this “truth” is put into the head of Italian men by their own mothers. It’s a paradox, but nevertheless it’s true: in Italy, it is mothers who are much more ardent champions of male chauvinism than men themselves.

Their son is certainly the best in the world, and the girl who would be worthy of him has not yet been born. I have heard this phrase in different variations- even from mothers of four-year-old boys. “What did you eat for lunch today?”, “Did you poop today?” and “Does anyone hurt you?” - these are just the most innocent questions that selfless Italian mothers ask their sons, young and old. And they continue to zealously iron their shirts, leave carefully prepared stew or roast in the freezer for a week, scrub the floors in a bachelor's apartment and ... reject unwanted brides. In the office where I work, such suitors are a dime a dozen.

This is how Italian mammoni grow, sissy who, at 20, 30, and 40 years old, continue to depend - both physically and spiritually, and sometimes even financially - on their mamma. Is it any wonder that in the hearts of Italians, mother takes the honorable first place, for sure, even before football. So what? Deserved! "Yazhemat" - as they write on Russian forums.

The atmosphere in the families of sunny Italy is emotionality, love and temperament!

high degree interpersonal relationships in the family, especially Italian mothers, has a comprehensive effect on the nature and methods of education in Italy. Raising children in Italy is, first of all, the excessive guardianship of the child, even when the child has grown up, the mother will certainly need to track his every step.

A common result of Italian upbringing is a strong emotional bond, sometimes taking the form of dependence, between parents and children. Children at any age trust their parents and bring up many intimate issues for discussion, including here also intimate secrets.
In many ways, this solves the problem of isolation and alienation of adolescents in the country. Close and warm family relationships distinguish the concept of education in Italy from the general picture of education abroad.

Since like gives birth to like, from those brought up in an environment firmly united family relations kind-hearted and able to love personalities grow up.

There are practically no manifestations of feminism in Italy. Which in many ways positively affects the upbringing of children in Italy. Citizens of the country in many aspects of life take the side of conservatism.

Of course, the women of Italy are moving forward to a career and personal development, but, nevertheless, family values ​​remain their top priority!

Men in Italy reinforce this trend with their desire to have housewife girlfriends who raise children, rather than hyper-careerists and active businesswomen.

"Joy of life" for Italians is not empty words. This concept is closely connected with the concepts of life and development of family relations, raising children in Italy. Family and upbringing of children is not just the base and foundation of society, the family for an Italian is a warm and cozy nest, overflowing with mutual understanding, love, feelings and support.

A unique feature of Italy is the 85% percentage of the family business against the backdrop of the picture of the country's business sectors.

Despite the influence catholic church on morality and the formation of family relationships, Italians are strangely tolerant of moral indulgence in relation to petty fraud and adultery.

Italians are naturally sunny optimists! They cannot imagine life without filling it with beauty, emotions and celebration. All this has a positive effect on family life and is reflected in the results of raising a child in Italy.

Having a baby in Italy
modern upbringing

In Italy, the child is “exalted to the skies”! Children are endlessly pampered, corporal punishment is prohibited in modern Italy! Until the age of 10, no one is seriously involved in raising a child in Italy. Children independently absorb the understanding of human relationships in the family and on the street. Numerous tourists consider Italian children to be the most ill-mannered kids in Europe.

Some Italian parents (and almost half of them) almost never punish their children. Moreover, they do not even scold them. They think that in this way the child develops harmoniously and expresses himself.

Italians are surprisingly tolerant of children, even the most restless, completely uncontrollable.

Social life children

It is customary to take children everywhere with you - to weddings, concerts, parties, dinners and aperitifs. From the very cradle, the Italian child leads an active " social life". Newborn babies almost immediately begin to walk and carry with them - Italian mothers and fathers do not experience any special fears, except, perhaps, the fear of infecting the baby with something. Belief in the evil eye and the desire to protect the baby from strangers is alive only in small southern towns or among the numerous foreigners who settled in Italy.

Children's fashion

Children are dressed like miniature adults and are introduced to all aspects of reality. They are taken to restaurants, to all family gatherings and rituals. In Italy, children mature much faster than in the Nordic countries, because from childhood they learn all the skills necessary to perform on the stage of life.

From the early childhood Parents introduce their children to all aspects public life. For Italy, the usual picture is when two or three young mothers sit in a cafe, discussing the latest secular news, and the kids frolic nearby. Moreover, the reaction of others to the noise and din in the restaurant will be calm. Subsequently, such an educational tradition is reflected in the character of a simple Italian - a freedom-loving, morally relaxed person.

Despite the significant economic decline that has been very clearly observed in Italy in recent years, Italian parents have not got rid of the habit of pampering their children. If a child, passing by a toy store, points his finger at another plastic car or doll, then he will certainly receive this toy. However, often such behavior of parents should be regarded not as attention to the needs of the child, but as simple servility. Toddlers scream so much that it is easier for them to buy a toy than to explain why this cannot be done. Thus, parents give their children not the most best example. This is how it goes from generation to generation.