How to end an office romance with your boss at work? An affair with the boss - pros and cons. Psychologist's advice
Many women dream of being financially independent from men. To this end, they receive a good education, find decent job with a high salary. And now, it would seem, everything suits - interesting job excellent relationship with friendly team. The only thing that can strain is the male boss. And here are the different options.
What to do if the boss bothers
This situation, unfortunately, is quite common these days. Your boss may suddenly begin to show you not quite a business interest, especially if you are young and pretty. If you have no female interest in relation to him, then such increased attention on his part will strain and annoy you.
If it suddenly seemed to you that the boss was pestering you, then try to soberly assess the situation. All of a sudden you really just imagined it. This will help you answer the following questions:
- Is your boss joking about you?
- Does he try to touch you, as if by chance?
- Does he look at you frankly?
- Does it force you to stay after work?
- Does he open his hands?
If you answered yes to at least one question, then your suspicions are justified. What to do in this case? How to get out of such a situation?
The first step is to speak frankly with your boss. Explain what you do not accept in the service intimate relationships. When doing this, you must speak in a strict, confident tone. Otherwise, your boss may perceive this as a game on your part and a hint of flirting. Do not allow yourself liberties with other men in the office, otherwise he will think that you are only so strict with him and redouble your efforts. Your outfits should not be revealing -. Dress stylishly, but not provocatively.
Discuss the current situation with female colleagues. Find out if your boss had other "victims". In the workplace, gossip spreads very quickly, and your boss will not want to be the object of heightened attention. Most likely, after such conversations, his harassment will stop.
An affair with the boss - is it possible or not
Such a prospect is certainly not uncommon. A romance between a boss and a subordinate is a very common occurrence. Another question is whether it is worth starting such a relationship.
If you decide to take such a step, you must understand the consequences. And they are such that the vast majority end up with the woman having to quit her job. The reasons may be different: the boss may get tired of this affair and he himself kicks the woman out, relations with the team finally deteriorate, or after the woman herself becomes the initiator of the dismissal.
In the event that the relationship still lasts a long time, the following options are possible: in very rare cases, lovers get married, a woman begins to manipulate a man, or remains as a mistress long time if the couple manages to hide their relationship.
When starting an affair with your boss, you must carefully weigh everything possible options development of further events and a sober assessment of their strength. No rose-colored glasses! Do not expect that after the first date the boss will crawl to you on his knees with wedding ring in the teeth.
Think about whether you can live as a mistress, hiding your relationship from others. How can you resist the general condemnation? What will you do if it's only one or two dates, and then your boss forgets about you?
Conflict with boss
In the case of the boss, first try to determine whether his claims are justified. Usually the answer to this question is yes, if the boss scolds you for the quality of the work done. He has no complaints about you as a person or as a woman. In this case, try to make every effort to correct your mistakes. Once again, clarify the range of issues that you must address, ask for advice on how to do better. It is never a shame to do it and it is never too late to improve your professional level.
If the boss's attacks are directed at your appearance, manner of dressing, communicating with colleagues, etc., but at the same time do not relate to your professional duties, this indicates that he simply does not like you, and he simply finds fault with you. There is only one way out of this situation - not to allow yourself to be made a "scapegoat". You must firmly stop such talk. Once again, discuss with the boss the scope of your duties and strictly adhere to it. Do not give him the opportunity to start criticizing you for not doing your job. And that means you have to do your job flawlessly.
Men's Health made a sensational discovery: with female colleagues, you can deal not only with leasing and monitoring, but also with good old sex. From this article, you will learn how and why to violate statutory relationships, and is it time to sleep with the boss (if , of course, he - she)?
“All the scientific theories of psychology devoted to the nature of love confirm: working together is the best detonator of sympathy, falling in love and even passion, ”says Amy Nicole Salvagio, assistant professor of psychology at the University of New Haven, and sadly looks at an elderly handsome colleague passing by.
If you think about it, offices (and other workspaces) are literally made for love. After all, they are filled with male and female creatures, spending eight hours a day side by side, dining together, and sometimes throwing parties. There is a dress code that literally requires you to look attractive; coolers and chocolate vending machines where you can meet; secluded corners ... Is it any wonder when the next floor neighbors wake up under the same blanket?
Offices are literally made for love. After all, they are filled with male and female creatures, spending eight hours a day side by side, dining together, and sometimes throwing parties.
“Today, employers have already agreed to consider office romances an inevitable cost of production,” says Lisa Meyniero, professor of management at the University of Fairfield. “Usually bosses just turn a blind eye to such things, unless, of course, it harms the work in any way.”
Well this is good news, because meeting girls in a club, bar or on the street requires more ingenuity, artistry and charisma from you. Let's start with the fact that you're sober in the office (well, at least we hope so). And here you have much more time to show your best side.
Any work team is the same school class or group at the university. The only difference is that it consists of older and more sophisticated men and women.
In other words, this is another community in which friendship is separated from sex by a very a fine line. To figure out how to overcome this line, psychology professor David Bass traveled half the world. He explored 37 different communities - from villages in the Sahara desert to modern cities in the US and Europe - and realized one thing: all women are the same.
Wherever Bass turned out to be, the most popular with the weaker sex were powerful and successful men. So, except for playing with children and puppies in the park, you can't look more attractive to the fairer sex anywhere than in your workplace, especially if you have subordinates and a talent for easily solving complex problems.
It turns out that by working well, you kill two birds with one stone: you make a career and score points in the eyes of colleagues in skirts, whom nature itself pushes into your bed. The more ambitious and smarter you seem to them, the more they want children from you.
At work, every potential girlfriend of life is in full view: if she calls her mother six times a day or the wall at her desk is hung with portraits of Stas Mikhailov, you will be the first to know about it
The choice is yours. At work, every potential girlfriend of life is in full view. This is not a blind date, and there is no hiding a skeleton in the closet. If she calls her mother six times a day or the wall at her desk is hung with portraits of Stas Mikhailov, you will be the first to know about it.
In addition, you will see: how she copes with stress, how she manages her time, how she behaves in conflict situations, and if it is customary for you to bring food from home - even what and how she cooks. In all other cases, this information becomes available only when you already live with it.
The ability to get to know someone well before you start dating is a huge plus for office romances. But do not rush to drag the secretary with a sensual mouth into a dark conference room, love at work has its own unwritten rules.
Most men recognize them through trial and error, public humiliation, and even job loss. But we have a better suggestion: how about learning from the mistakes of others? Let's take the example of Danila (we changed his name, like all the other names in the article).
Rule 1
Sleeping with the boss - keep it a secret
Danila met Lisa when he was 23 and she was 29, but the difference in their position on the career ladder was much steeper. If some bosses are grumbling old men, then Danila got a red-haired beast with delicious calves. In general, he fell in love, but she did not, but she did not mind friendship.
They talked a lot, dined together, and one day after the party, Danila took Lisa home and woke up the next morning in her bedroom. It seems like a common story, but because of it, you can seriously ruin your life.
80% of HR professionals and 60% of other office workers believe that romance between superiors and subordinates should be prohibited. The obvious reason is that colleagues begin to trust people who have an affair with a manager less. Many believe that lovers of bosses enjoy certain privileges.
Extraordinary relationships do not benefit those who are on top (we are not talking about sex, but about the position in the office hierarchy). One such love affair - and when choosing a candidate for an even higher position, a loving candidate will be preferred to someone who has not been seen in discrediting relationships. And about real reason failure will not be told to the failed, which will only worsen his condition.
Rule 2
Rip without noise
We don't want to ruin your buzz, but as great as your new relationship may seem, it doesn't stand much of a chance of surviving. More than 60% of service couples break up within the first year - and often with scandals. How to avoid it?
The best option is to discuss on the first date (yes, on the first one) how your breakup can be framed. “It may sound strange,” says Lisa Meynero, “but it is precisely such a step that will protect you from possible problems in future". When you are in love and positive, the breakup conversation can be wrapped in comic form and thus find out how your life after sex sees new girlfriend. However, Danila and Lisa's romance ended before it even began.
She wanted to "remain friends". Often in this situation guy goes on the attack: tons of flowers, serenades and artistic painting of asphalt under the windows of your beloved. Alas, in the office, this behavior will end with a call to the personnel department, so it's easier to retreat. It sounds pathetic, but Danila did just that (clear!).
He soon became convinced that he was right. Another "front-line couple" in their office clearly demonstrated how not to behave. They converged, then dispersed, then yelled at each other, and then hugged on the stairs. From the outside, it looked like a low-grade soap opera which was watched and discussed by the whole team.
Rule 3
Be cold at work, hot at home
The best thing you can do for your career is to ban yourself from driving once and for all. intimate conversations with my girlfriend in work time. Even if she is sitting at the next table and you know that she has no underwear on.
The habit of keeping personal life outside the office is especially useful for quarrels. “If something goes wrong, you will not sort things out at work at the level of reflexes, because you are already used to not letting them into this room,” says Tina Tessina, a family therapist and author of the book “Informal Instructions for Resuming Relationships”.
Yes, we know it's almost impossible. Still, it's best to wait until you get home.
It's not just about breaking taboos and sticking cameras all over the place. Too frank manifestations of sympathy can annoy colleagues, and extra enemies have never benefited a career. Maybe the husband just left the accountant, the IT specialist had sex only with him, and the wife has not given the pot-bellied head of the department for a year already? Your lustful face will be worse than a red rag for them, and yes, they will take revenge. So stop grabbing your mistress by the knees and giggling stupidly.
Rule 4
No one night stand
Do you remember Daniel? The one who slept with the boss, and then got a turn from the gate. If this one-time sex happened to a couple who met at a club, they would simply run away, but this will not work with an office romance. On the morning of the same day, yesterday's lovers met at work, and then the next morning, and so on. A more stupid situation is hard to imagine.
Something like this happened with Max and Alice. They quickly went from chatting at the water cooler to hanging out at the bar after work to touching their feet under the table during meetings. In this case, the lady already took what was happening seriously, and Max broke off the relationship immediately after contact.
Now every day Alice saw Max, and every day he flirted, but not with her. Fortunately, before loud scandal didn't, but that's not always the case. The rejected often blow their minds. According to the Journal of Neurophysiology, painful breakup activates the same areas of the brain that are activated in drug addicts during withdrawal. So if you decide to just have fun and your partner thinks sex is the start Great love, you can end up making yourself a dangerous and unpredictable enemy.
Rule 5
think for her
Be prepared for the fact that the colleague with whom you have an affair will start to panic: “What will people think?!” In fact, there is nothing to guess. In such affairs, society almost always evaluates a man less strictly than a woman. You will look like a heartthrob and a real man, but any label of four or five letters can cling to her.
This is another reason to think twice before sharing the juicy details of your love victories with guys in a smoking room or over a cup of coffee. Remember: romance at work often leads to the fact that one of the lovers is easier to quit than to be the hero of office folklore.
Rule 6
Protect your good name
As convinced by own experience 32-year-old Igor, who met at work first with Sonya, and then with Natasha, the label of Don Juan can stick for a long time. When a message appeared on one of the recruiting sites that he was leaving for another company, on the same day there was already a comment under the publication: “Please note, he sleeps with everyone!”
So it’s better not to abuse office romances and start them only if there are serious feelings. By the way, do you remember Danila and Lisa? The first time he was in her bed, the relationship didn't work out. But since then he left for another company, made a decent leap both in position and in money. And today, 10 years later, he wakes up in this bed every morning.
If she…
- ... a new employee.
She wants to please everyone. Don't confuse it with being romantically interested in you, psychotherapist and life counselor warns. family relations Tony Coleman. Be willing to help, but let her settle into the office before asking her out. - ... friend at work.
Make sure her flirting isn't just a way to get work done, Coleman advises. Try some time during the day not to contact her at work. Does she also try to get past you, then find a reason to talk? Suggest she go out for a drink after work. - …your subordinate (or vice versa).
"You must be ready to say, 'For me, this more important than work" says Coleman. If this is the case, and if you're sure she feels the same way, it might be worth asking management to move one of you to another department so there's no unnecessary gossip.
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The boss is watching you closely. He looks inquisitively into his eyes and sighs languidly. Sometimes he says how lonely he is and that he married the wrong woman. You are the ideal for him, you are the most beautiful. He is waiting for your consent. And also among women's team the boss singles her out. Sometimes overly praising, or scolding. The most unpleasant and, unfortunately, the most common is the situation when a person seeks to satisfy his needs at the expense of others. He just wants you to notice him, to be close to him...
Affectionate treatment, minimum work. “I want you to always smile” - a phrase with an affectionate smile ... And soon a simple proposal ...
An inexperienced woman may find herself in such a position for the first time ... At first she tries like this: “I think you should not cross the line“ boss - subordinate ”! ..” To which they answered me in surprise: “Who sets the boundaries and boundaries?”.
Having made his choice, the male boss, as a logical being, and therefore consistent in his thoughts and actions, expects a response from his chosen one (secretary). That is, conscientious work: the ability to serve the chef and his guests (tea, coffee, juices, water), competently maintain document management, call up the right people. At the same time, always be charming, ready for any instructions from the boss, obligatory, trouble-free.
And when the boss offers sex to his employee, he does it to raise his own self-esteem. The woman in this case is just another means for his self-affirmation. Therefore, if a girl is smart and does not want sex with her boss, she can always turn the arrows of the situation in a different direction.
Some women are seduced by love with a man who is high in the ranks. It's flattering. It's so exciting - sighs, flowers, hugs.
And words of love can break anyone's heart. These three words can stir up life, turn it in a different direction. And in the future, maybe a wedding, coffee in bed, cute kids.
But everything is different. It often happens that for the impulse and incontinence of women they pay with dismissal from work. Disliked. I don’t want to hear gossip behind my back from employees, and is it necessary to twist love in the service? If once a girl sleeps with her boss for the sake of official gain, then she will have to do it all the time, even because of some little thing. And in general, this situation will interfere with further work and may lead to a quarrel with those who more deserved this promotion.
Flirting does not necessarily have to lead to a serious denouement. Temporary privileges do not compensate for subsequent consequences. When a new "favorite" appears, the employee will feel the charm of the annoyance of the "boss" and other employees in full. Usually such "employees" then have one way out - dismissal.
Well, what can you take from these stupid women who want tenderness and love! And the boss - is he not a man or what? That's what it is - a man. So, it has full right to the left. And with the ladies subordinate to him, to carry out this pleasant right in all respects, well, God himself simply ordered!Male bosses disguise their first love impulses as gallant courtship. And women have to endure all these "courtships", especially if they come from the boss. After all, here you have to choose between work, salary, career and the prospect of losing all this. After all, the boss will always find a reason not to pay, to fire a stubborn lady who did not reciprocate. But the opportunity to put the boss- "boyfriend" in place is much more difficult to find.
If the boss harasses at work, then in the Western world they have long learned to deal with this problem: the charters of many European companies have developed a list of unacceptable actions in the service. In it - a ban on ambiguous jokes, hints, spanking. And talking to an employee in a closed office - oh horror! Through the efforts of Western feminists, the list is getting longer - phrases like: "You look great today", "Let me help you take off your coat", etc. have already been added to it. As a result of these systematic efforts, not only bosses, but also ordinary employees began to simply shy away from their ladies colleagues.
“Men are to blame for everything. He sits in his chair and sniffs and dreams. He doesn’t know how to lure a girl, so they offer, the bosses of the increase, who are just money. And then you complain that the employees are corrupt. Everyone quickly gets used to easy money, ”some women argue about the case when they gave in to their boss. Then love with the boss resembles the mutual use of each other. This is the same relationship as a one-night stand, only you don’t have to look for anyone and you don’t have to go far. The boss takes a break from the family (if any), relieves stress. The subordinate rises in her own eyes, because if she sleeps with her boss, then many roads are open to her and she has big weight in the company, since the boss is unlikely to let her offend.
Figure out what you want. Man or leader. Different concepts in this modernity. Many men not only look at the person of the boss himself, but dream of being in the arms of this strong, attractive, gallant and lucky man who singled him out among everyone!
If a man is serious about you, but he has personal sympathy, he will never allow a romance to develop in front of employees, compromising a woman. He will forget that he is the boss, he will be just a devoted man to his beloved woman.
If mutual sympathy with a colleague (or colleague) has already been established and is not a secret to anyone, it is best to agree that at work you will only deal with your own official duties. Of course, smiles, warm looks and mutual assistance are not necessary, and it is simply impossible to refuse each other, but everything that goes beyond these limits should be taken out of the workplace and time.But most often it is important for a woman to remember that a career is made all her life, and it can collapse due to stupidity in an instant. When a woman is a professional, she is a professional. The less compromising evidence - the cleaner and simpler the relationship between people. The boss has no moral authority over you, there are only official assignments. So, it is simply necessary not to mix personal relationships At work. It is important to remember that there are ideal bosses, but only for a certain time period. Over time, tasks change, and hence the requirements of managers for employees. And not all subordinates are ready to accept the new conditions and comply with them. This means that the boss has already ceased to be ideal for subordinates. If you are applying for a position, then adequately correspond to it.
Your boss sees in you not just an employee, but also beautiful woman? It's time to ask yourself who you see in it yourself.This will be the answer to the question of what is the right thing to do in this difficult situation. Although we must remember that the end can be both happy and bitter. Therefore, before agreeing to something specific, weigh everything carefully. And get ready for the main thing - you definitely cannot avoid gossip, regardless of whether your feelings are sincere or prudent. And, moreover, you will immediately have to make a choice: (at least in this company) or.
I don’t need much, just touch with a glance ...
After all, love does not take into account anything, what is its official status? Some people have to verify this personal experience. And now you are already captivated love affair at work… Stop! Before you let him take you, think about how events can develop and whether you are ready for it. If yes, keep it up! But, if you are not sure, you can remain neutral or immediately refuse. True, each option is fraught with its own consequences.
Most perfect option if the relationship develops out of love, someone should change jobs, otherwise the relationship will have to be kept secret. But then you will have to learn to instantly change facial expressions from affectionate to official, rearrange speech in the middle of a word, constantly invent something and lie, not be embarrassed by the looks of colleagues who will guess why you are so often called to the boss. If deceit and resourcefulness are not characteristic of you, it will be hard and, perhaps, circumstances will somehow force you to quit. But, if you are ready to lose your job if something happens, if it means more to you, take the risk.
So, you have weighed all the pros and cons. What is your solution? Perhaps it will soon be in your “Novoseltsev family”?!
The content of the article:
Love with the boss is not a universal phenomenon, but it is very common. Two things can push a woman into such a relationship - selfish motives or feelings. But neither one nor the other motivation guarantees the successful completion of the novel, since it has no less pitfalls than in relations with married man. Consider all the "underground" love with the boss.Signs of a boss's sympathy
In principle, the development of a romance with the boss can go in two directions: either it develops or it is nipped in the bud (for personal reasons, according to corporate framework, etc.). In this case, the initiative can come from both the boss himself and from an interested subordinate. In any case, you need to notice his manifestations of interest in time in order to build further tactics of action.
The main signs of the sympathy of the boss:
- Facial expressions, gestures, movements. Our body is our main "traitor" when it comes to feelings. Therefore, the love of the boss for the subordinate will be given out the following signs: liveliness at the sight of the object of desire, a sparkle in the eyes, a smile and even a slight blush. He may begin to frantically straighten his tie or jacket, hair. Postures speak more eloquently about sympathy: a boss interested in close relationships will sit or stand in front of the chosen one with legs wide apart, hide his hands in his pants pockets, exposing thumbs. He will shorten the distance - sit down or sit closer, as if by chance touching his shoulder or hugging him during a conversation. Not to mention the fact that not ceremonious representatives of the leadership can show their intentions rudely and straightforwardly.
- Friendly attitude. Alerting (or giving hope) in terms of falling in love can also be the desire of the boss to learn more about your personal life. Carrying out such “reconnaissance in force”, he, firstly, collects maximum information about his opponent or finds out about his absence, and secondly, he “gropes” your weak spots on which you can bet. From this, offers come up to help solve a certain problem, give a ride home, etc. At the same time, conversations on the topic of your personal or family life he carefully avoids.
- The desire to be alone. Another demonstration of interest in a relationship is the desire to be alone with the object of interest more often. This can manifest itself in different ways - from “innocent” requests to stay after work or after a meeting to joint business trips and quite eloquent relocations to a closer office or a rendezvous for two.
- Compliments and indulgences. In favor of the boss's sympathy, his compliments in your direction regarding your appearance and character also speak. That is, far from your business qualities. Jokes, anecdotes, attempts to "hook" are also very often used by men as a way to attract attention. In addition, a powerful representative of the stronger sex can afford incentives (bonuses, salary increases, career growth) and indulgences in relation to his sympathy.
- Calls and messages with or without. Communication with the boss by phone or through Email- a completely harmless phenomenon in relation to flirting. If it corresponds to the position and is conducted on the case. Another thing is when the boss started calling you “at work” or just like that after hours and on weekends, and even more so writing on social networks. This suggests that thoughts about you are already crossing the boundaries of decent.
- External transformation. A man in love can not only look younger, but even change his image. It could be new hairstyle, new fashion suit Or a complete change of style.
Important! Women are naturally given a powerful weapon - intuition, which can suggest a man's interest already at the subconscious level. Even without taking into account the above signs.
Pros and cons of an office romance with your boss
Office romance in itself is not a simple type of relationship. Especially between a leader and a subordinate. Therefore, love for the boss carries both positive points for both partners, and negative.Benefits of having an office romance with your boss:
- Protection. A relationship with your boss gives you "immunity" from any trouble that can happen at work - from being late to missing deadlines for reports or important projects. In addition, even in conflicts within the team, the lover will always be on your side. The main thing is not to cross the line.
- patronage. Naturally, it will be much easier for the boss's protégé to move up the career ladder. But even here it is important to keep the brand and try to match yourself. new position to justify the trust of your loved one and not give rise to unnecessary gossip.
- material gain. An affair with management promises not only carnal pleasures, but also quite tangible financial support in the form of gifts, various salary increases and bonuses. At the same time, the amounts of additional payments will depend on the budget of the enterprise or organization, and gifts - on the budget of the lover himself (from rings and perfumes to personal business). That is, in the case successful relationship you can solve not only purely work problems, but also personal problems - get an education, improve appearance, health, living conditions and even get married.
- self-affirmation. The fact that the boss chose you over all the employees gives a great temptation to blossom feelings of power and arrogance towards other colleagues. Such slack can play a cruel joke in the future: firstly, give out your novel, and secondly, if you lose the “throne”, return old relationship with the team will be very difficult.
Disadvantages of being in a relationship with your boss:
- Restriction of freedom. As already mentioned, the boss is a man. So, nothing masculine is alien to him. Including a sense of ownership. Therefore, entering into a relationship with him, you automatically become his property. And this means that you need to forget about other "options", and in the case of marriage, move them aside. legal spouse to the background. And remember that games of independence in such an alliance are very dangerous, because they threaten not just with a break, but with loss of work and a bad reputation.
- The need to keep relationships private. Keeping your romance a secret in the format of such a relationship is a necessity for several reasons. Firstly, it may be a condition on the part of the boss himself. Such a relationship may not be necessary for him (he already has a family or is not interested in a serious relationship) or is prohibited corporate ethics. Secondly, the mistress of the boss is not liked in the team, which can significantly complicate the working conditions.
- Play by his rules. An affair with a boss is in many ways similar to an affair with a married man: a lover manages not only his enterprise, but also your relationship. He dictates their form, scope and degree of secrecy. Therefore, the time, place and duration of meetings will be appointed by them too. And this means complete readiness at any time of the day or night to sacrifice your time and interests in favor of secret meetings. Such work "on call" is quite exhausting nervous system, especially for married lovers who are forced to constantly invent "legends" for their husbands.
- Maintaining "tone". To keep the heat on with the boss on desired temperature You need to keep yourself in shape all the time. This is appearance (make-up, hairstyle, style and neatness in clothes, beautiful lingerie), and attractive physical forms(weight, fit, grooming), and good mood, and activity in terms of intimacy (inventiveness, readiness at any moment, emancipation). That is, there will be no time to “relax”. Otherwise, they may find a replacement.
- Negative attitude of colleagues. Another "but" that love can turn into at work with the boss. Moreover, the likelihood that you will be disliked in the team is very high. Especially if the team is female. Banal female jealousy and your "special position" are instantly capable of rallying all employees against you, even those whom you considered friends. IN best case you will face ignorance and a cold attitude, at worst - with gossip, denunciations and setups.
- Unpleasant Encounters. If your favorite boss is already busy, be prepared to periodically see his wife (sometimes with children) or fiancee who will visit her spouse at work. And it is possible that one day they will express a desire to talk with you "heart to heart" in front of the whole team.
- Instability. A relationship with a boss is like playing with fire. There is no security assurance. You can make a dizzying career, acquire own business or marry him. And you can lose everything. Moreover, it is impossible to foresee this, since the decision remains with the lover. Even if you decide to put a point.
Important! Assessing all the pros and cons of an affair with a boss, take into account the statistics of such relationships: only in 30% of cases the union lasts for a long time in the form of a marriage or romance. In 70%, a woman has to look for a new job: due to dismissal, failure to work with the team, or of her own free will.
How to confess your love to your boss
A declaration of love to the boss is a serious step, which should be taken only in full confidence in its necessity. This requires several components: your determination, reciprocity from the object of love and readiness for any turn of events. It's no secret that many executives have affairs at work not for the sake of deep feelings and far-reaching consequences. Especially if they already have a family or serious relationship. But if you still decide to "step", you need to do it right.The main rules for confessing feelings to your boss:
- Take your time. Love doesn't rush at all. Especially the love for your leader. Take a closer look, evaluate your chances and its potential. Weigh all the pros and cons, calculate the risks. Make sure your feelings and the presence of reciprocal sympathy from the boss. Try to find out more about his plans for life, his attitude towards novels at work, etc. Keep your feelings and your relationship (if you already have one) as private as possible.
- Do it alone. The boss is still a man. Therefore, the most the perfect way to confess to the boss in love will be a pleasant option for any man - romantic dinner. Depending on what stage your relationship is at, it can be a restaurant, a cozy cafe, home furnishings or a trip to the countryside. If your romance is in full swing, you can confess your love in a more original way - right in bed, passing by along the corridor, during a corporate party or bringing a document for signature. Of course, in this case, there is a risk that he will not hear you (he will not understand, will not believe, will not take you seriously). But there is a plus - in case of failure, you can always turn everything into a joke.
- Watch his reaction. Of course, your chosen one should be prepared for such a turn of events: at least - to know about your sympathy, as a maximum - to be in a relationship with you. To confess your love to an unsuspecting boss is to initially doom yourself to failure. Although in cases of "preparedness" the boss may not always be happy with a declaration of love. Therefore, be sure to observe how he perceives your words in order to find out in time what to do next. And even if he is not happy, remember the saying that it is better to regret what you have done.
Important! Still, a declaration of love is a step that a man must take. Therefore, try to make sure that your boss is the first to show his feelings. To do this, just be there, share his emotions and aspirations, show your feelings with actions and hints.
How to prolong your relationship with your boss
If your feelings or motivation outweigh everything possible risks such relationships, make every effort to make them as pleasant and safe as possible for you.- Labeled "Top Secret". Keep a secret from everyone, first your feelings for him, and then your relationship. Even if the boss you love is free, this is not a guarantee that he is not against the disclosure of your novel. Not to mention if he's not free. The decision to reveal the cards must be necessarily “signed” by the lover (or the groom, the future husband). Do not forget about the team - their ignorance will greatly facilitate your relationship with them.
- No claims. Maximum caution and tact will have to be shown in relation to your benefits from the novel. Even if it has begun, this does not give you the right to demand gifts and career growth from your lover and make claims to him about eternal employment. Remember, in this relationship, he is the leader, and you are the follower. He wants - he will give, he decides - he will increase his salary or promote him.
- Maximum sincerity. Do not hide your feelings (when you are alone or have already left the mode of secrecy) and learn to be grateful to him for everything. And not only for gifts and other "charms" of the affair with the boss. But don't overdo it - if some problem upsets you, don't pretend that everything is fine with you and don't avoid questions. If he is sincerely interested in what makes you sad, give your beloved man the opportunity to solve the problem. But here, too, do not cross the line between real problem and feminine desire.
- The ability to wait. Do not forget that the man you have chosen is a man of a certain status and opportunity. And, most likely, he has experience of such relationships. Therefore, his behavior can be somewhat predictable: in order to test the sincerity of your feelings, he may at first fundamentally give you nothing but his love. And if you pass the “test” without claims and reproaches, you can count on a further “fruitful” continuation of the relationship.
- A real look at relationships. No matter how much you love your boss, don't make big plans for him. And even more so, do not try to destroy his family or existing relationships. Firstly, you cannot build your happiness on someone else's grief - it has been proven by generations. Secondly, a man must make such decisions himself.
Important! If you decide to have an affair with your boss, learn to accept your relationship for what it is. Do not fill your head with castles in the air, and your heart with jealousy.
Watch a video about the relationship with the boss:
Love with the boss has its risks and does not always end marriage union. But this does not mean that he cannot be the very second half that is given to us by fate. So listen to your heart, your intuition, realistically assess the situation and your chances - and try to become happy!
