Tips for raising teenage boys. Psychological characteristics of children in adolescence

IN modern world the concept of "teenager" causes an association of complexity, communication difficulties, incomprehensibility. It is difficult for adults to understand that, being in their youth, moving from childhood to adulthood (a life period of 13-15 years), a teenager feels like he has already grown up, in fact remaining a child. To remain in this difficult period for the child as his confidant is a great success, although it is incredibly difficult. To do this, you need to know about those features that appear at this stage of life and form his personality. The main action of the immediate environment (parents and friends of the older generation) is help and assistance, in other words, be attentive to him and communicate “in his language”. At this time, the young man is in a difficult period of his life. He is forming his views and his opinion on any issue and concept.

Teenagers shut themselves up

It is difficult for the surrounding people with a teenager because it is unbearably difficult for him with himself. He's not sure of anything. He is looking for his goal in life, focusing only on his opinion.

Stages of growing up

In this time period of his life, a young person begins to realize and motivate in a new way own behavior. It is smart to lead them.

Psychologists often draw the attention of parents of children in their adolescence to this conditional transitional fragment (from 14 to 16 years old) in connection with the ongoing changes in them, both physiological and mental.

Because exactly this period, called the stage of personal and professional self-determination, is the most difficult in life for a growing teenager - a boy or a girl.

emotional sphere teenagers and motivation

At this time, the child is forming his individual personal position on all issues and situations. It often does not agree with the views and opinions on the same situation in adults, including parents, which leads to a conflict, the result of which may be the loss of mutual understanding and contact relations between them.

Manifestations of psychological neoplasms in adolescents 14-16 years old

In order to overcome this most difficult period of life less painfully for the family, it is necessary to understand the psychological neoplasms that occur on average. adolescence.

Depending on the development (maturation) of the child's personality, neoplasms in adolescents can appear from the age of 13 and last up to 15.

There are several such innovations.

Problems in communicating with peers in adolescents are increasing dramatically

Switching your constant communication from teachers and parents to friends - classmates and peers, a little older, but who are an authority for a particular teenager. At this time, he develops social interaction skills, that is, he learns to obey someone else's opinion, but at the same time defending his rights. The consequence of this is the manifestation of two contradictions - belonging to a group of peers and the desire for isolation, that is, the presence of one's own individual personal space.

Unwillingness to listen to parents and teachers

Changes in the cognitive sphere of a teenager. Development framework 13 -15 years

The term "cognitive sphere" refers to the union of all cognitive processes person. Such as - attention and memory, intelligence and the development of logical and verbal-figurative thinking. In a special way there is an accession and development of creative abilities.

The manifestation of a phantom sense of adulthood

While still essentially a child, a teenager (often his age is 13-5 years old) feels and decides that he has already grown up. He develops and manifests with increasing frequency the desire to become independent from parental family. He is the birth of the first thought about the future profession. He strives to become "necessary", that is, useful for society and the family. And, of course, the emergence of close interest in the opposite sex.

phantom adulthood in adolescents is manifested by prohibited actions

Possible occurrence of school maladaptation

The reason for it is ambiguous, usually complex, relationships with teachers or classmates.

Skills for the formation of communication and one's own individual personal position in a teenager

With the onset of acute adolescence, especially the middle stage, in the life of a person 14-16 years old, there is a reorientation from intra-family communication between parental family and the child on the outside - friends, peers - classmates and older teenagers who are authorities.

Most often, at the age of 14, an individual chooses a guide for himself - an ideal that becomes a life example and a confidant for him. Such communication is the main one at this age, as it is the main information channel. Moreover, it is a specific emotional contact developing in a teenager a sense of solidarity, self-respect, emotional well-being and interpersonal relationships.

Under the influence of an idol, teenagers can change a lot

As a result of such contact, in order to be like his idol, the 14th teenager can change appearance and style of communication with the people around him habitually.

There is a change in tastes, an interest in energy and alcoholic beverages and smoking, since it is these qualities that he associates with adulthood.

Changes in the cognitive sphere of a teenager

During adolescence, especially at its middle stage, there is an improvement in intellectual processes and thinking, which is the basis for the formation of personality.

An activity approach is being implemented in growing up young man, under the influence of comprehensive schooling, part of which is the development of elements of the cognitive sphere of the personality, that is, the functions of the psyche of a teenager.

Adolescent absent-mindedness leads to learning problems

Such a process as perception, at this age, acquires a selective character, with the possibility of analytical and critical conclusions.

1. Attention, during this period, acquires the possibility of clear switching and distribution. Its parameters are also improving and developing: the volume increases and stability is strengthened. It becomes arbitrary and controlled by the adolescent himself. This indicates the emergence and manifestation of selective attention.
2. Memory also develops. It undergoes the same changes as attention - it acquires a completely meaningful character in terms of memorization and comprehension.
3. In parallel with the above functions of the psyche of a teenager in middle period growing up 14-16 years old, independent thinking develops. That allows the child to move and operate with individual conclusions.

Psychological protection is expressed in violations of behavior

Phantom sense of adulthood

Professional psychologists note that against the background of the developing cognitive sphere of personality, a teenager has a desire to "be like an adult." That is, he has a need to bear responsibility for a certain part (zone) of independently performed work.

At the same time, interest in people of the opposite sex awakens. The first platonic relationship between a boy and a girl, most often their age is 13 - 15 years. The first feeling of love appears. There is a desire to do something pleasant for the person you like, to show constant concern for him.

At this age, teenagers experience first love.

Parents should take into account that excessive interference in such a feeling and in this relationship can lead to a deterioration in mutual understanding between them and their child. As a result, cause alienation and isolation in him. Parents are advised not to interfere with the development of these relationships, but not to encourage them.

In the same period comes the desire to independently earn the first money. The motivation is the desire to become independent in financial plan in order not to once again beg for funds for their personal needs from their parents and not give them an account of where and how they were spent. It can also include motivation for socially useful activities, as a result, encouragement from authority and adolescent peers.

In adolescence, many try to earn their first money.

The emergence of school maladaptation

A family where there is a teenager 14-16 years old quite often faces such a manifestation as school maladaptation, that is, the inability to feel comfortable in a peer group.

The reason for the emergence of such a situation in the life of a child may be a violation of relations (conflict) with teachers, classmates or older students, as a result of the unwillingness of a teenager to obey their requirements and tasks.

School maladjustment - the main signs

Outwardly, school maladjustment is expressed in resistance and even a complete refusal to attend classes. The child stops doing homework. There is a complete violation in his learning activities. He tries to communicate with his family less often, trying to solve the problem on his own, which only exacerbates it.

Parents should pay attention to the problem of their child (13-16 years old), through the above signals and try to as soon as possible to help him, after consulting with a psychologist, without showing him the child.

You can also bring to the problem and school psychologist by asking him to observe the teenager's behavior and reactions. Based on the results of his observations, the specialist can offer a program of assistance in this particular case.

Many new parents think that changing their baby's diapers and staying awake at night because of the baby's incessant crying is the hardest part. But as the offspring grows older, they realize that they were greatly mistaken. The problems of educating teenagers are always relevant, and especially in our time: when progress rushes at a frantic speed, and the child tries to run with him in one step. It is very difficult to keep track of a child so that he does not get into bad company, does not acquire bad habits and hobbies, etc. And the education of difficult teenagers is especially difficult. In order for the process of raising their child to go as smoothly and efficiently as possible, each parent needs to know how to educate a teenager.

Be parents, not friends

It is worth forgetting about becoming a friend to your son or a girlfriend to your daughter. This is absolutely not what a teenager needs. real, strong friendship will come much later, in ten years. Of course, you need to keep intimacy between parents and children, but it should not be friendship at all. Of course, you can tell a teenager: "You can tell me everything, I will never judge you." But what if a teenager tells you something really extremely dangerous for him? Will you have to judge him? You need to talk to your child different topics, but never promise him that you will support him in absolutely any endeavors. You must be firm in your values, principles and code of conduct. Expect resistance and be prepared for it. The reality is that the time of dangerous experiments is just adolescence. It is difficult for a teenager to accept right decisions, as well as be guided common sense. Therefore, this task should be performed by his parents. Features of the upbringing of adolescents imply the moment that it is the parents who must make the right decisions and prompt them to their child. The child must understand that you are his mom and dad, not friends. And therefore, if parents say "no", then this is a firm "no", which cannot mean "yes" but later.

Keep up with progress

It would seem that Odnoklassniki, YouTube, Facebook, DJs, emo, what could be interesting here? Can't you, as a parent, spend your time on something more interesting than learning these things? No you can not! If your child is interested in this, and most likely he is interested in this, then it is your direct responsibility to be interested in this as well. Only not in order to secretly read the child’s correspondence with peers, but in order not to lose emotional connection with him. It is worth sending funny text messages or postcards to your child's cell phone from time to time. This will help not only show the teenager how “advanced” his parents are, but also unobtrusively stay in touch with the child. You can also register on popular Internet resources, such as Odnoklassniki, Vkontakte, etc., and add yourself as a friend to your child. So you will know not only his friends, but you will be able to discern his interests and manner of communication, which will “tell” you a lot.

Your taste is outdated

The upbringing of adolescents in the family also implies the problem of diverse views on things. A teenager is constantly experimenting with new hairstyles, friends, music, clothes. He is trying to find his place in society, and wants to understand who he is. The external image of a teenager reflects him inner world, the state of finding yourself. For parents, the main thing is not to interfere with their child in this search, of course, only if his behavior is acceptable. Namely, if he has no problems with the law, studies well and observes moral standards. In this case, it is necessary, gritting your teeth, to support him. The only thing that parents of a teenage girl need to pay attention to is that she does not wear too revealing outfits, as this can be dangerous for her. In this case, parents should definitely intervene.

Don't spy

Methods of educating teenagers put the rule “no spying” in the first place. In most cases, it's best to stay as far away from your teen's personal belongings as possible. After all, even if you find something unacceptable and forbidden for you during the “search”, and then tell the teenager about it, he will focus on which way you found it, and not on what you found. Thus, the forbidden fruit will become even sweeter. If you are concerned about your child's behavior or think that he may have some dangerous things, it is much better if you ask about it directly. Of course, a teenager may begin to deny all your concerns, but he will begin to understand that you care about him and are concerned about his behavior.

Don't wear rose-colored glasses

The bulk of parents, looking at their offspring, see perfect angels. But, unfortunately, the real picture has absolutely nothing to do with this perception. Of course, it’s good to know all kinds of recommendations for raising teenagers, but if you stubbornly ignore problems, then no advice will help. It doesn't matter how well your child is brought up, and what values ​​your whole family adheres to in life. The chance that your child is doing something that you would not like is very high. Unfortunately, this is also confirmed by statistics: by the end of the 10th grade, 75% of teenagers have already tried alcohol, the same number have tried smoking, and 1 out of 5 teenagers admits that he posed in the nude. And these things are just "flowers" in comparison with drugs or sex. Therefore, do not behave like an ostrich hiding its head in the sand, but rather discuss with your child all the unpleasant aspects that may appear in the life of every teenager. Also, most the best way, allowing you to understand the thinking of a teenager, is the need to remember yourself at his age, because you, most likely, you yourself know very well how sometimes you wanted to disobey your parents or do something forbidden. Therefore, be at least a little lenient and tell your child what you did in your youth and what consequences your actions had.

The transitional age of a child is the most difficult stage in the life of parents. Hormones play in a teenager, which is accompanied by frequent mood swings. Some experts believe that this period can be called dangerous. A child, especially a boy, runs the risk of falling into bad company and making many irreparable mistakes.

You should also be careful about oddities in behavior, as teenagers are in all sorts of risk groups. Especially, it concerns young men. So, how to raise a teenage boy in such a way that he does not feel pressure from his parents?

Child psychologist Alice Valtor advises adherence modern views on education, try first of all to put yourself in the place of the child. Remember that everyone was thirteen, and what feelings overwhelmed at that particular age. Not to be an outside observer, but to feel for yourself all the moods and experiences of a teenager. If the task is done well enough, then you can proceed to several stages of psychological impact.

It is necessary to establish yourself in the eyes of the child as true friend and assistant. A friend does not condemn, does not scold, he, first of all, provides support and help. So, do not rush to punish the child for the smell of tobacco or a deuce in the diary. Once frightened, there is every chance to forever close the door to the heart of a teenager. He will never tell anything to the one who condemned his act, and even more so, applied physical or mental punishment. We must speak. If there is a suspicion that the boy smokes, it is necessary to tell him about how girls do not like the smell of tobacco, or that saving on cigarettes can help him buy some necessary and desirable thing. It is necessary to explain that this is frustrating, because I would not want to put his health at any risk. Moreover, having yelled at a child for a misconduct, the parent most likely risks becoming an enemy, and the teenager will repeat the misconduct out of spite, driven by his restrained maximalism.

Children in adolescence are rarely at home with their parents. And the first reason for this is boredom. After all, most likely, the elders spend time watching TV or dragging the child to the dacha, where he has to wander around the house all day and spit on the “ceiling”. Need to find some common interests, explore the world of the child, ask him to talk about his tastes, but in no case condemn his preferences. For example, if you don't like heavy music, don't say to a teenager: “This is some kind of nonsense. Listen better than the classics". After this, there is every chance to pass for a backward old man, without knowing how to raise a difficult teenager.

A boy turns into a man when he has some kind of responsibility on his shoulders, so it is necessary to give the teenager simple tasks, such as, for example, helping his father in the garage. While the father is repairing the car, the boy can talk to him, and at the same time give the tools, memorizing their names and practical applications.

The main thing is to be a self-confident parent who knows exactly how to properly raise a teenager.

When a boy trusts his parents and is on the same wavelength with them, then good parental influence never passes by. It's not enough to just be parents, you have to be kindred spirits. Then education becomes a real pleasure and saves the nerves of the whole family.

Once and for all, forget about tricky questions on intimate topics. If the boy wants, he himself will start this topic, in another case, you should simply put special literature on the child’s table, which he himself, without prying eyes, will study. Teenagers are gentle creatures and do not tolerate rough treatment.

IN incomplete family, especially where there is only a mother, raising a guy is much more difficult, because he does not have before his eyes right example. In this case, the most dangerous problems begin. Peers are taken as a role model, and often the most inveterate hooligans who will not teach anything good. It is necessary to monitor with whom the teenager communicates, and what changes this communication brings with it. A mother should have confidential conversations with her son about various real-life characters, such as Churchill or Jackie Chan, for example, telling how much they have achieved through hard work and strong character. For examples, it is better to use figures that are interesting for teenagers in areas of life. This will not change a teenager in a day, but, most likely, it will make him think and, in the end, make the right decision.

It is necessary to explain the benefits of not only work, but also education, which is the foundation of a happy and successful life for any man. This is best done in a relaxed manner, no teachings, tedious and long. Here you can use the same examples. As a basis, you can take the biography of a musical figure, rap or rock band. Suitable Chester Bennington or Domino rapper, both have higher education, and it only helps them to make a successful musical career. The main tags in a conversation with a teenager are cool, successful, famous.

It is necessary to give the boy " Fresh air”, to set the condition that he must be engaged in some section, but the plus is that, in which and where, he can choose absolutely independently, without outside adult intervention, relying solely on his own taste.

Thus, the parent hints to the teenager that he considers him an adult, which means that he can be trusted. Children always respond with trust for trust. It is very important. And you should always remember this. Violence always breeds violence. And heavy complexes. Should not be physically punished.

If a teenager is established trusting relationship, a few hours of silence will be enough to demonstrate their discontent. Children are the flowers of life proper care there is always a chance to grow something truly unique, something that will bring joy and benefit to the whole world.

Raising a boy is a complex process that requires parents to show tact, care and rigor at the same time. Children grow up quickly, and yesterday's kid, who happily told his mother about his hobbies and victories, suddenly, imperceptibly for adults, turns into a closed, rude teenager with his own interests and passions.

How to raise a teenage boy at the age of 14 so that he grows up as a real man, able to be accountable for his actions and be responsible for his actions? How to remain an indisputable authority in the eyes of a child and at the same time become his best friend? How many of these “hows”, to which parents cannot always find an answer and in desperation rush from one extreme to another, punishing or allowing their son everything!

Let's try to understand all the intricacies of the psychology and physiology of boys in this difficult period in order to survive it as painlessly and with dignity as possible with your child.

Important changes

To understand how to properly raise a teenage boy, you need to know what changes occur physiologically and psychologically with children at this age.

By the age of 14, the formation of secondary sexual characteristics in boys ends. They have more and more
starts to have wet dreams. The voice becomes rougher, body hair begins to grow, some guys have facial hair. The amount of testosterone reaches its maximum: it increases by 700-900%!

With such physical changes quite natural phenomenon become manifestations of psychological changes. Boys become anxious, irritable and distracted. The processes that occur in the body are not always clear to the child and disturb him. Changes in appearance are often perceived negatively and bring a lot of complexes.

At the same time, the boy begins to feel like an adult. What it is and what to do with it, he still does not understand completely, but the feeling that the time has come to change something does not leave him. Aggression in defending one's point of view is precisely the desire to prove that he is no longer a small, but an adult, whose opinion must be reckoned with.

The less trust and understanding there was between parents and a boy before adolescence, the more likely he was to begin seeking support from peers at fourteen years of age.

The feeling of hopelessness and misunderstanding on the part of adults, attempts to prove the importance to himself and others often push the boy to rash acts that are fraught with serious consequences.

Family and relationships in it

In it difficult time it depends only on parents how a teenager will be able to adapt to a new state, survive changes and enter into new level development. At the same time, it is important to understand that the methods that adults used to educate small child absolutely not suitable for teenagers. Parents need to adjust in time and learn to hear and understand their son.

In addition, the character of a fourteen-year-old boy is already practically formed under the influence of school, friends, social environment and, of course, parents.

Even if family relations were good, a boy at this age still needs to establish himself among his peers. At this time, he needs the support of his father more than ever.

Adult men often make the mistake of trying to impose their vision of the world on their son.

Let's take an example.

The father believes that the boy should be courageous and strong, he should not only be respected by his peers, but also be afraid. But his son is soft, he absolutely does not want to defend his innocence with his fists, and he likes dancing more than boxing.

The father is sure that he raised a “weakling”, and with each good luck reminds his son what he thinks of him. Despite his own predilections, the boy really wants to earn the approval of his father, and by adolescence, he begins to unconsciously look for a group of peers that will help him become what his father wants him to be. Offenses, aggression, bad habits- will become obligatory companions of this period. After all, the son does not know how it is possible to become adult and courageous in another way, the way his dad wants to see him.

The other extreme in wrong upbringing boys of this age lies in the complete indifference of parents to the fate of their son and permissiveness. The boy feels lonely, nobody needs him. He either closes in on himself, or shows aggression, trying to attract attention to himself.

Therefore, it is very important for parents at this time to choose the right position based on the trust and support of their growing son. The time has come to recognize his right to his own opinion and conscious actions, and also to replace the word "education" with "cooperation".

Communication with peers

A teenager-boy is increasingly drawn to peers. He sees an opportunity to assert himself only in the company of friends. Everything is important for him now: how they will think about him, what they will say and how his friends will react to his actions. Moreover, he feels confident among his "equals": his friends have the same problems and, most importantly, they understand the teenager there. At least that's what he thinks.

It is very important for parents to unobtrusively control with whom and when their son communicates. At the same time, in no case should one speak negatively about friends in front of a child: this will only lead to the fact that the teenager closes in on himself and stops talking about his company.

Control and trust complex combination, but it is necessary in the process of raising a boy. The fact is that for a teenager, as we have already said, the opinion of peers is very important. Therefore, he will try in every possible way to gain authority in their eyes. It's good if the guy has his own opinion and is able to show it in the company. But more often than not, the boy will adapt to the rules of his community, trying to look like an adult.

A teenager may start trying cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs not because he wants vivid sensations, but because friends think it is “cool”.

In addition, in such teenage groups there is a clear division of roles. Well, if your son is among the "respected and respected guys." If the boy is unlucky, and he is considered a "six" in the company and they hone their wit on him, and often power moves, it is very important to support his son, help and direct him along the right path. Not only will he try with all his might to gain authority (and since he did not succeed in the usual ways, criminal “exploits” can be used), adults need to, if possible, protect the boy from bullying and ridicule.

Search for authority

Any boy at the age of fourteen will look for a person whom he wants to look up to. It may seem strange, but parents can choose such a person for their son themselves. Moreover, when right approach the teenager will not even guess who contributed to such an acquaintance that he needs.

Football coach, instructor gym, the leader of a tourist circle, a close acquaintance of the family, who was able to independently achieve success in business - this list is endless. Believe me, your son will listen with trepidation to the advice of these people, if they are given on a friendly note.

Of course, this does not mean that it is enough for you to point your finger at right person and inform his son that from this day forward he must imitate him. Acquaintance with an authoritative person should begin gradually, with stories about the merits and merits of a man. It is important that the boy himself feels the need for communication, reaching out to an adult. And then you can be sure that the life values ​​of an adult will gradually pass to a teenager.

It may seem strange that the search for authority should be sought on the side. Indeed, in many families, fathers sincerely want to take part in the upbringing process and worry about their son no less than a mother. However, the specifics of age require confirmation of the truths that were instilled in the guy from childhood. It is important for him to figure out whether the statements of his parents were correct, whether they can be used in his own life.

Your son needs a friend, an adult comrade who does not consider him a child and is able to speak with him on an equal footing.

Of course, no one can give unambiguous recommendations on how to raise a teenager correctly. Not a single most titled professor of pedagogy and psychology will be able to answer you exciting questions boy growing up. It will not be able to for one reason: this is your son, and only you, the people who
gave him life, you know all the advantages and disadvantages of the boy. Based on the characteristics of the character and temperament of the son, you should use general recommendations not in the "pure" form, as they are presented in the sources, but in the way they are acceptable to your child.

• Education starts with early childhood, and not from the age of fourteen: by this time, the character of the guy is practically formed;
• Prepare the boy for the changes that will occur in his body in advance: conduct confidential conversations on the topic of puberty and communication with peers;
• Lead by example family life what should be the relationship between a man and a woman;
• Do not “strangle” your son with excessive guardianship, give him the opportunity to make decisions on his own:
• Respect his choice, be it a hairstyle, a friend or a hobby;
• Let the boy feel like a man: trust him with responsible housework, consult on important family issues;
• Find a worthy example for your son, which he can imitate;
• Be proud of the guy's achievements, support during failures;
• Become a friend for the boy: let him feel that his parents are nearby in any situation;
• Never insult your son! Humiliation will only lead to alienation and a growing chasm of misunderstanding;
• Love a growing man the way only parents can do it: sincerely and disinterestedly;
• Don't forget to tell your son about your love. Believe me, your prickly "hedgehog" still really wants to hear words of tenderness and feel your hugs.

Raising a teenager is not easy. But thousands of families have successfully coped with this task. And you can do it too. Be patient, show love and understanding, and in a few years you will look with pride at your son, who will definitely become a real man.

Parents of teenagers need to understand and accept that during this period the personality of a teenager is undergoing changes, there is a struggle between childhood and adulthood, self-awareness as a person. It is at this time that adolescents really need the help of caring and loving parents to help them transition into adulthood.

The key question that a child asks himself at this age is “Who am I?”. This period is called the formation of the "I - concept", which will accompany the child throughout his life.

Physical development of the child

In adolescence, the formation of the skeleton, nervous, endocrine, cardiovascular systems continues.

During this period, you need to pay Special attention to a warning different kind curvature due to development skeletal system organism: it becomes stronger than in younger age, but the ossification of the spine does not yet end, chest, pelvis and limbs. Especially harmful wrong posture when a teenager sits at a table: pulmonary ventilation becomes more difficult, oxygen supply to the brain decreases, spinal curvature is fixed.

It should be noted that if at this age special attention is not paid to the development of dexterity, plasticity and beauty of movements, then in the subsequent period it is usually more difficult to master them, and the awkwardness and angularity of movements inherent in a teenager can persist for life.

The nervous system of a teenager is still in the formative stage, and is relatively imperfect. Therefore, during this period, it is so important to protect the teenager from sudden overwork, to regulate the load on his fragile nervous system.

In addition, during puberty, the production of sex hormones in the body of adolescents begins, which leads to significant mood swings.

intellectual development

A teenager at the age of 14–16 is already an intellectually formed person who has his own opinion on various issues. Adolescents are quite capable of reasoning, expressing their thoughts, arguing them. More and more time in their lives begins to take serious matters, less and less time is devoted to recreation and entertainment. Logical memory begins to develop actively. Due to the emergence of new school subjects in the school, the amount of information that a teenager must remember is significantly increasing.

Psychological development

Along with mental changes caused exclusively by hormonal influences, adolescents also experience deep psychological, personal changes that occur unevenly: both childish traits and stereotypes of behavior and adults are simultaneously present in a teenager. A teenager rejects children's stereotypes of behavior, but does not yet have adult clichés. Since the need for recognition of one's own adulthood is maximum during adolescence, and the social situation, by and large, does not change, this can cause numerous conflicts with parents and teachers.

During this period, psychologists recommend talking more with your child, remembering that you are no longer a child, but an adult who is looking for his own path. In a conversation with him, do not use categorical forms, do not show his intellectual immaturity, do not be overly intrusive.

8 rules of behavior with a teenager aged 14-16

1. Don't impose your point of view

In older adolescence, the child develops his own taste in clothes, in music, in cinema and other manifestations of art. Naturally, the preferences of the child may not coincide with the preferences of the parents.

This is not a reason to try to dissuade a teenager and deny his choice. It is best to listen and try to understand the interests of a growing person. This will only add trust to your relationship with him.

2. Be willing to accept rejection of certain family activities.

The adolescent spirit is the spirit of denial. Hormones spur a teenager to go against everything. And if three years ago the child loved family trips with younger sister, now he can refuse them.

He no longer fears the prospect of being alone at home. At the same time, refusing at the beginning to participate in a holiday or some other family event, a teenager can quickly change his mind. This happens more often if parents take the rejection calmly and do not try to persuade the child.

Listen and try to understand the interests of a growing person

3. Give your teen some space

It is very important for a teenager to know that he has his own space. A place where he can put personal things, books that no one will move or rearrange.

Learn to knock when entering a teenager's room. Even if you've never done it before. Keeping a growing child will help to avoid conflict situations.

4. Set a Good Example

Bad habits of parents are instantly reflected in children. If mom or dad allows himself to drink alcohol or smoke with a teenager, he believes that he can afford the same. The authority of the parent who is addicted is undermined.

The same can be said about moral character. If parents lie to relatives and colleagues, commit unseemly acts, then the teenager will either behave in the same way or completely distance himself from his parents.

5. Help shape your own worldview

Parents should encourage individual thinking of a teenager. If the child takes sides in a peer conflict, try to build a dialogue with him. “Do you really think that your friend is right?”, “What would you do?”.

In any questions, ask him to express his opinion so that he feels like a full member of the family, on which the choice of a place for a vacation or celebration of an anniversary depends.

An open censure of the people in whose circle the teenager revolves will either entail a protest on his part, or the fact of communicating with "undesirable" friends will be hidden from the parents. The only right decision is to let the child see for himself negative qualities certain peers. And, if this happens, support the teenager, perhaps by talking about a similar example from your life.

7. Let your teen take responsibility for their mistakes.

Even those parents who give the child enough freedom tend to take responsibility for his unseemly or wrong actions. Instead, let your teen deal with problems on their own. If he accidentally broke a friend's phone, he must earn money for repairs. If received bad grade in a quarter - he himself must agree with the teacher on how to correct it.

If a child accidentally breaks a friend's phone, he must earn money for repairs himself

A teenager does not control his mood. Hormones do it instead. To be offended or to swear at him is useless and not pedagogical. In addition, it may affect his interpersonal relationships in the future.

Therefore, it is best to explain to the child what caused his emotions and teach him to express anger calmly, with the help. And restrain yourself. In the end, transitional age tends to end.

Elena Kononova