How to raise a child to be successful and develop leadership qualities. How to raise the happiest child

All parents want the best for their child. What could be more beautiful than healthy and happy child. You can learn about maintaining bodily health and well-being from medical literature. Many parents are already familiar with it. But in the abyss of everyday affairs, we forget about the most important thing - children's happiness. Let's discuss how to raise a happy child.

All parents want to raise happy children

What is happiness

Adult and child happiness are not always equivalent concepts. Parents, out of ignorance or their own experience, make mistakes for which their children pay for their entire lives. An interesting statement by one wise man is that love is the desire to make a person happy with or without you. Really happy child- this is a small person, cheerful, confident, independent, he knows how to get out of difficult situation with minimal losses.

In order to know how to raise a happy child, it is necessary to consider in detail the concept of happiness. After all, it is not always the presence of material wealth, health, success. There are many examples of celebrities who have had it all, and they were not completely happy people.

Read the book How to Raise a Happy Child

Happiness is fulfillment cherished desire, achieving results. Therein lies another feature. Typically, this condition does not last very long. Required with youth Accustom your child to the idea that this is absolutely normal. Every person should have a whole wish list that is constantly updated. Implementing one of them is only one step towards happiness.

Life is a constant movement, if you stop and tell yourself that there are no more goals and desires, then your existence will stop along with it. A child needs to be instilled with a sense of the infinity of improvement and the versatility of life. This principle will help you cope with difficulties and failures easier, because you can always work on mistakes and begin to fulfill your next desire.

Determining which child is happy

The main features of an absolutely happy child:

feels the absolute, selfless love of his parents,
feels like a significant member of the family, who is listened to,
calmly but effectively processes criticism,
feels the support and support of his family.
Moderately emotional, this is not always a smiling and cheerful baby, he can cry, get angry, disappoint, and be surprised.

Children should be happy at any age

What family is capable of raising a happy child?

In such a family there is an atmosphere unconditional love between all family members. The principle of continuity applies to this feature. If your parents raised you this way, then you will pass on the feeling of selfless love to your children. But if you are unlucky, then change the situation.
Parents and children are patient with each other.
The basis of existence is optimism and faith in a bright future.
The desire of each family member to be in demand and self-realization.
Attentive attitude towards all family members, taking into account individual characteristics.

Only happy parents can raise happy children

The principle of unconditional parental love.

It is impossible to raise a happy child without parental love, which is not a gift for good behavior or absent if the child has committed an offense. The absence of such unconditional feeling forms a negative self-esteem. The child feels that he will be loved only if he succeeds. If something doesn’t work out for a child, then self-resentment and blame multiply. Such a person can never be happy.

Tell your children about your love

Tell your child that you love him every day when he wakes up. If he asks why, then answer sincerely just like that. The child will feel your support and turn to you if necessary.

Explain everything to the baby.

Children are very inquisitive; as they grow and develop, a huge and unpredictable world opens up before the baby, in which everything is interesting. The child may forget your arguments that he once heard, or he may simply be testing you. It is no coincidence that some time ago it was the book that was the best gift. The parent should be the most knowledgeable person the child can always turn to.

Answer children's questions

By patiently explaining everything to your child, you introduce him to the outside world and strengthen his faith in the power of knowledge. The baby begins to feel confident, even if he doesn’t know something, an adult, the World Wide Web or a book will always help.

Show respect for your child.

How to raise a child happy if you don't respect him. Self-esteem is formed in early childhood through the attitude of adults. It is a huge misconception that the baby does not understand anything, so his aspirations and desires can be neglected. Always ask your child's opinion about a particular action. The baby will gradually realize his importance. It will be easy for him to join any team and defend his interests.

Show respect to your children

You can raise a child through dialogue.

Always talk to your baby. In dialogue, he and you can express your feelings and thoughts. This action will help the child get to know himself better and be able to express his emotions.

Communicate with your child more often

The child lives in a society where expressing one’s thoughts is very important. Modern parents distance themselves from children. The child spends a lot of time in front of electronic devices and TV. There should be an adult between the equipment and the baby who will explain everything. If the baby trusts technology, then over time dad and mom cease to be authoritative. When talking to your small and not so young children, a sense of continuity is important in everything.

Punishments are the deprivation of rewards, not the infliction of something bad.

In case of misconduct, deprive the child of treats, entertainment, and encouragement. A negative act should not be associated with physical work, punishment, or humiliation of a child. This will cause the baby to feel frustrated and resentful. Perhaps a parenting book from yesteryear will tell you about the principles of negative motivation, but with children you need to use gentle methods.

How to punish correctly

Know how to say a hard “no”.

A child should not break prohibitions

Your goal is to raise a happy person, not an infantile child who knows no boundaries. Bans should be enforced very rarely, but if the parent says no, then it should be the law for the child. This is indispensable in case of danger or saving the child’s health.

Bans must be unconditional

Allow your child to make mistakes and solve them together.

This way the child will not be frightened by any difficulties, he will be happy regardless of the situation. IN modern world this is very important quality. The child will take criticism calmly. These qualities will be useful to the child in children's team, at school and work.

Foster independence in children

Encourage your child for achievements.

This will increase the baby’s self-esteem and give valuable positive emotions.

Encourage your child often

The fact itself increases self-esteem, but also the feeling of happiness from achieving the goal. The opinion of the parents is very important for the child; if the achievement is worthy of it, then be sure to praise the child. The rule of succession also applies in this case.

Teach your baby to smile.

Teach children to laugh

For some children, a smile is natural phenomenon, but some kids are very serious. Be sure to rejoice if you watch funny movie, here is a humorous book, a note. Laugh where appropriate.

Every parent wants the best for their child and strives to raise him as a worthy person. But how to do that? Many people ask the question: “How to raise happy children?” What needs to be given to a child, what needs to be instilled in him from childhood, so that he grows up and can say to himself: “I happy man!"? Let's figure it out together.

A happy child - what is he like?

To understand how to raise a happy child, you need to determine who a happy child is:

he feels that he is always loved, regardless of his actions;
knows that he will always be protected;
participates in the decision important issues, they are interested in his opinion;
feels that he is unique and is accepted for who he is;
optimistic and joyful;
knows his place in a group of peers, respects himself;
knows that his parents are happy too.

Cultivating happiness: where to start?

Raising a child begins with the family, or rather with the parents themselves. It depends on them what their child will become in adult life, and even what he will bring to the upbringing of his children.

I just wish I knew for sure how to raise a successful and happy child. Our advice will help you in this matter:

Start with yourself. It’s not for nothing that the phrase “If you want to make the world a better place, start with yourself!” is still very popular. Our children are a direct reflection of ourselves. Very often you can notice that, as children grow up, they bring behavioral traits of their parents into their daily life. Therefore, if you want to see your children happy, become happy yourself. Enjoy the new day, look for beauty in everything, take care of your health and mood, show your child that this life is beautiful in all its manifestations.
Stable emotional condition. It is very important not to take it out on family members for any reason. As a mother, you must hold the emotional bar for the entire family. Your child takes an example from you, you should never forget about this. Therefore, if you are faced with any problems, experiences or Bad mood, try not to splash them out on others, but to neutralize negative manifestations.
Child behavior. Always monitor your child for changes in behavior. Children should be like an open book to us. And if a child begins to behave badly, it is not without reason. All processes in life are determined. This means that the child wants to show you something. It is worth understanding in detail the reasons for this behavior before taking action.

Author's opinion: Jean Ledloff

In search of answers, people often turn to books. Many works provide countless tips on raising children. However, are they all so valuable and is it worth listening to them? Let's analyze the book by Jean Ledloff "How to Raise a Happy Child."

This book not only teaches parents how to raise their children correctly, but also reveals common reasons troubles modern society. The author of the book saw the root of the problems in our world. If you think about it, the reasons for all the troubles and misfortunes that haunt modern man, lie in improper upbringing. We seem to strive to give the child everything he needs, but very often we forget about the most important thing. Do we give our child happiness? Do we know how to cultivate happiness in our children? This is inherent in each of us, you just need to listen - says Jean Ledloff.

"How to Raise a Happy Child" is a book based on real experience. The author was lucky enough to meet those people who were able to raise their children happy, and this was the impetus for the birth of this work. The book shows that happiness or unhappiness originates in the same place as new life- from birth and raising children. If we approach the upbringing of our children correctly, we will give them not only psychological well-being in the future, but we will also be able to make a great contribution to the development of a world without violence and suffering.

A child is a personality

One of the main components of upbringing is accepting the child as an individual. That is, this is not just the one you gave birth to, but also a person - the same as you.

It is very important that the child feels loved and accepted for who he is. This will give him strength and self-confidence. After all, you are not trying to change him, to make him the way you want, but are working on developing his original qualities.

In this regard, under no circumstances should you put “labels” on a child. Even for an adult, this is a traumatic situation, and what can we say about the shaky psyche of a child. By constantly telling children that they are dirty, fat, stupid, etc., you are programming them in advance to conform to these words. After all, a parent is a child’s first authority, and he subconsciously listens to you.

If you want to raise happy children in your family, then respect everything they say and do. All their desires and actions must be taken into account. Therefore, it would be correct to listen to the child’s opinion, especially in resolving family issues.

It also follows from this that communication with a child should not be built in the “commander - ward” system. It is important to speak to him calmly and peacefully, without quarrels, shouting or complaints. Believe me, children understand better this way.

Mikhail Labkovsky: secrets of education

Labkovsky talks about how to raise a happy child at his lectures and seminars. This family psychologist reveals the essence proper education children.

Everyone knows that everything psychological problems personalities stretch from childhood. Therefore, the psychologist recommends accepting your upbringing as it is. Your parents raised you the way they could and saw fit at that time. You can't fix this anymore. But it is quite possible to prevent the same mistakes in raising your children.

Mikhail Labkovsky also focuses on the predominance of such concepts as stability, comfort, and trust. He believes that first of all this should be felt by the child in the family. Make sure that your baby is not afraid of you, show him that his problems are important to you, and you will help him solve them.

Another important aspect The problem that the psychologist touches upon is the presence of several children in a family. It is strictly forbidden to tell older children that they are already adults. This is regarded by children as a message that they are no longer loved. A child always remains a child for his parents, let him feel that.

Action and child. It is always necessary to evaluate or criticize a certain action of a child. It is impossible to transfer the assessment of actions to the entire personality of the child. Instead of “You are bad,” you need to say “You did bad.”
Eye contact. You need to communicate with your child at his level so that he can see your eyes. Under no circumstances should you approach someone “from the height of your height.”
Parents' reaction. The child is always watching your reaction. Based on this, he builds his behavior. Show your child how to react correctly to a given situation, and this will make his life much easier in the future.
Children's help. Always accept help from children. Even if in the end it doesn’t turn out exactly the way you wanted, the child will feel significant in your life.
Self-esteem. To form the correct self-esteem in a child, always show that he will succeed in everything, he will cope with everything. Create situations of success for him to instill confidence in his abilities.
Responsibility. As they grow older, it is necessary to shift responsibility to the child. For example, if a student doesn’t do his homework, you don’t need to do it for him. Make it clear that any action has a result, although not always a pleasant one.
Model of behavior. Be a role model for your child. Show him how to properly build relationships with others. In addition, children very often adopt the model of family building and education from their parents.

Wealth, happiness and success

In addition to psychological well-being, many parents also want material security for their children. However, in their opinion, the child should achieve everything himself and not sit on adults’ necks. There is some logic in this. Of course, parents will always help their children, but they themselves must learn to provide for themselves. So, how to raise a child rich, happy and successful?

To begin with, the child needs to be introduced to financial side life. In this way he will understand what money is, how it is earned and how it should be managed.

To do this, you need to talk with your child about money, why it is needed, where it comes from and how best to spend it. Do not think that your child will think only about material values. Education must be comprehensive.

After getting acquainted with money, it is advisable to play games related to this side of life. For example, come up with ways to earn money together, while adjusting the child’s aspirations. Or you can play Board games related to business.

You should not limit your child’s dreams, whatever they may be. Over time, the child himself will set the necessary priorities, but for now the main thing is not to discourage him from achieving his goals.

Expert's view: Ekaterina Buslova

The book is written as if from the perspective of a child who turns to his parents. Using this technique, the author shows that after reading the book you will be able to better understand your baby.

All information is presented in the form of tips and messages for parents.

Hint keys

Ekaterina Buslova gives 9 tips for parents in her book “How to Raise a Happy Child”:

Key 1: “Explain different things to me.”
Key 2: “Be able to say no to me.”
Key 3: “Talk to me.”
Key 4: “Let me make mistakes.”
Key 5: “Praise me for good things.”
Key 6: “Tell me that you love me.”
Key 7: “Laugh and have fun with me.”
Key 8: “Tell me about different things.”
Key 9: “Show me respect.”

Should I pamper my children?

Many parents believe that in order to raise a happy child, he needs to be pampered both financially and emotionally. After all, it is unknown how many more trials there will be on his life’s path, but in childhood he can have some fun. Others, on the contrary, are too strict with their kids, thus preparing them for the harsh reality of life.

But how to raise a happy child? “You can’t control pampering” - here each parent puts a comma where he sees fit. However, the golden mean is important in everything. You can’t be too strict with your children, but there’s no point in spoiling them either. It will be much more constructive to explain to the child each of his decision regarding your child’s next wish.

Methods of raising happy children

Psychologists have formulated an approximate method of how to raise happy children.

The first thing parents need to do is pay attention to the development of their children: read books with them, talk, explain, play educational games. Until the age of 5, children need to develop attention, memory, thinking, perception and speech. Well-developed mental functions will be the key to success in the future.

Encouraging curiosity is also important. If a child wants to try everything at once, allow him to do this, and then help him choose what he still wants to do.

Optimistic child

Optimists are people with a positive attitude towards life; they evaluate everything through the prism of the good. Such individuals become successful and happy. But how to raise children to be happy optimists?

Take time for simple friendly, warm communication with your child.
Keep the amount of instructions and demands to a minimum.
Let your child be independent.
Do not say the word “impossible”; it only expresses a negative attitude.
Look for reasons to praise your child and be happy for him more often.
Don't compare your children to others.
Allow children to make mistakes and help correct them.
Don't deprive your child of his childhood in pursuit of standards.
Collaborate with your child.

Consultation with a child psychologist

If parents themselves cannot cope with raising their children, then it would be advisable to turn to child psychologist. And you don’t need to be ashamed of it, it’s completely normal! On the contrary, your desire to raise your children correctly is commendable.

During your consultation, a psychologist will help you understand your behavior patterns, possible problems in system child-parent relationships. The specialist will also be able to effectively adjust your methods of raising children.

How obedient child different from successful? How to react correctly to children’s mistakes and to your own mistakes? What is the global difference in raising boys and girls? And how to teach a child to be happy and confident? These and other questions are answered in his book “Children from Heaven” by John Gray, author of the bestseller “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” The most interesting and closest quotes from the book are in this post.

Material prepared by: Nadezhda Nazaryan

Raising children who are confident in themselves

“The methods of the past were aimed at raising obedient children. A positive approach aims to raise responsive children who do not obey rules out of fear, but act spontaneously and make decisions according to the dictates of their hearts. And if such children do not lie, it is not because it is against the rules, but because they are honest and fair. Morality for them is not something imposed from the outside - it comes from within, brought up by cooperation with their parents.”

“Educational methods of the past focused on teaching children to obey. Positive parenting strives to create confident leaders who are able to create their own destinies rather than simply follow in the footsteps of those ahead. Confident children are clear about who they are and what they want to achieve.”

5 Principles of Positive Parenting

It's okay to be different from others.
It's okay to make mistakes.
manifest negative emotions-Fine.
It's normal to want more.
It's okay to express your disagreement, but remember that mom and dad are in charge.

They're already good

“As parents, our first priority is to recognize, respect and support our children's natural growth process. We are not required to somehow mold them into the kind of people we think they should become. However, we are responsible for providing them with wise support when we're talking about about developing their innate talents and strengths.
Children do not need us to guide or improve them, but their growth depends on our support. We must provide fertile soil in which the fruits of their greatness can grow. They can do everything else themselves. An apple seed contains a detailed plan for its future growth and development. Likewise, in every child's growing mind, heart and body there is detailed plan its development. Don’t feel like you have to make your children good—recognize that they are already good.”

Boys - more trust, and girls - more care

“Parents need to learn to show their love differently towards boys and girls. For example, girls require more care; but if you show too much care to the boy, he will feel like you don’t trust him. The boy needs more confidence; but if you show too much trust in a girl, she may feel like she is not being cared for very much. Fathers, out of ignorance, usually give girls what boys need, and mothers tend to surround boys with the care that girls need. Realizing that girls and boys have different needs, parents can satisfy them more fully. Moreover, they still have fewer reasons for disputes over educational methods. Dads are from Mars, moms are from Venus."

Not more, but differently

“The most common mistake parents make is that they try to give as much as possible. At the same time, what they strive to provide children in large quantities often turns out to be inappropriate: more money, more toys, things, entertainment, more education, extracurricular activities, help, praise, more time, responsibility, freedom, discipline, supervision, punishment, more communication, etc. However, in reality, here, as in other areas of life, “more” does not mean “better.” We don't need more, we need something different. The task of parents is not to give more, but to approach education differently than our own fathers and mothers.”

Request instead of order

“Achieving cooperation means instilling in children the desire to listen to your requests and fulfill them. The first step is to learn how to give orders most effectively. Rigid orders don't work here. Judge for yourself: if at work someone commanded you at every step, would you like it? And a child's day is full of endless instructions. It is not surprising that mothers constantly complain that their children do not obey them. Would you yourself perceive a person who constantly nags you?”

“Positive parenting suggests replacing orders, demands and prodding with requests. Wouldn't you rather have your boss (or life partner) ask rather than command? In this case, you would carry out his orders much more willingly. The same goes for your child. This is a very simple change but takes a lot of practice. Instead of ordering: “Brush your teeth,” say: “Would you mind brushing your teeth?” Instead of saying, “Don't hurt your brother,” say, “Please don't hurt your brother.”

Let's do it

"The most powerful Magic word to achieve cooperation is the word “come on”.

Until the age of nine, children usually have a very weak sense of their own self. By constantly bossing your child around, you are building a wall between yourself and your son or daughter instead of strengthening the natural bond that exists between parents and children.

Whenever possible, invite your children to participate in activities with you. Even when you ask your child to do a specific task, for example: “Will you clean the room?” - preface your request with a phrase like: “Let's get ready for the party.” If your request becomes part of an invitation to joint activities, children are more willing to cooperate.”

“The ‘go ahead’ formula can be used in most situations until the child is nine years old. After this, the words “Let’s clean the room” will sound false if you yourself are not going to participate in the process.”

4 types of temperament - 4 methods of education

"There are four main types child's temperament, - this is why children require a different approach.

The first temperament is sensitive. Sensitive children are vulnerable and sensitive. They are acutely aware of their own reactions to life circumstances regarding their needs and desires. In order to adapt to life, they need to be clearly aware of their own feelings, and in this case they are more willing to make changes. These children respond best when they are listened to and understood.

Sensitive children need sympathy and recognition of their experiences and grievances.

The second temperament is active. Active children They are less concerned about their own reaction to life circumstances, they are more interested in the ability to influence the world. They strive to take action and achieve results. They are self-motivated and are most cooperative when they know what to do or have a plan. They need to constantly move forward, lead and do things their way.

Active children always need to know the plan of action, the rules of the game and who is in charge. To reduce resistance active child At a minimum, give him the opportunity to lead.

The third temperament is reactive. Reactive children are sociable and friendly. They develop a sense of self based on their relationships with people and reactions to the outside world. They strive to see, hear, feel and experience everything that life has to offer. These children have broad interests, so they need external stimulation more than others.

Reactive children know themselves through their own reactions to life experiences.

The fourth temperament is receptive. Sensitive children worry more than others about how life is going. They want to know what will happen next and what to expect from the future.

Such a child must be given tasks. Without proper support, he may not acquire any interests at all. Routine, ritual and rhythm give him the foundation he needs to take risks and try something new.”

Raise a successful person

“Success in life does not come when a person follows the rules. Success comes when a person thinks with his own head, following his own will and the call of his heart. This natural ability is nurtured when you strengthen your child's innate desire to cooperate. If parents demand obedience from a child, his will is dulled. The mind and heart close and the child forgets his potential to live the life he was meant to live. If you remind your child that it’s okay to resist, but remember that mom and dad are in charge, his mind and heart remain open and he develops the ability to recognize his desires and aspirations in life.”

Meaning of boundaries

“When a child demands his way too persistently, it means he is not getting what he really needs. The same applies to adults: if a person is unhappy because he does not receive something in the outside world, the real reason the unhappiness is that he lacks love and support. But there is always enough love around - we just don’t see it.

Children need boundaries that they try to cross. If there are no boundaries, the child becomes restless and insecure. When a child manages to get his way too often, he is not satisfied with what he has gained. We can only truly appreciate what we have when we realize our true needs. Resistance outside world helps a person understand what he really needs and not get hung up on what he wants.”

It's okay to make mistakes

“Children don’t need perfect parents; they need parents who do the best they can and take responsibility for their own mistakes.

Apologizing later is important. You can say this: “I'm sorry I yelled at you. You didn't do anything to get yelled at. And in general, screaming is not a method of communication. That's my fault.

When a child has made a mistake, this is the wrong time to remind him of mistakes made in the past.
By punishing your child and getting angry with him, you are using outdated methods of communication. The best reaction to a child's mistakes is an indifferent or tired look. You don't need to pay much attention to the error itself. Instead, focus on redirecting your baby by asking him to do something. IN in this case You can ask your child to help you pick up the pieces.”

From innocence to responsibility

“Around the age of nine, a child begins to develop a sense of self as a separate entity from its parents. This is a time of self-awareness. From this point until the age of eighteen, children need more trust, although they still need care.

“Shaming a child is never appropriate. Only after the age of nine should you gradually invite the child to take responsibility for mistakes and correct them. In the first nine years of life, a child must develop a sense of innocence, and in the next nine years, he must learn responsibility. When a child turns nine years old, he is ready to gradually take responsibility for his mistakes and correct them. Until the age of nine, parents should turn a blind eye to their child’s mistakes and treat them neutrally.

Children are programmed to automatically self-correct after making a mistake. main reason The reason why children and adults do not correct their behavior is that they are afraid to admit their mistake. Natural self-correction requires the feeling that it is okay to make mistakes.”

Learn to be happy

“In the first seven years of life, a child’s sense of self is formed primarily under the influence of parents or direct caregivers. Over the next seven years (from seven to fourteen), the role of parents remains strong, but siblings, relatives and friends now become increasingly influential in shaping a positive sense of self. During the next stage (from fourteen to twenty-one), adolescents and young adults increasingly define and develop their self through the influence of peers and people who strive for the same goals as them.

It is a mistake to overload children in the first fourteen years. During these years they need to learn to be happy. The ability to be happy is the most important art of life. Happiness comes not from the outside world, but from within. This is art. Happy people are happy regardless of external circumstances.”

(2 votes: 5 out of 5)

How to raise a child happy? It seems that the answer on the surface is to love him, give him Special attention his spiritual life. If it is established, there will be order. And this important matter has its own secrets and nuances. After all, something special and unusual can be brought into the everyday life of children, which is often routine and little things. And it doesn’t have to be expensive toys and clothes. Let's listen to the advice!

First of all, the child will remember the atmosphere of his childhood and carry the memories of joyful moments throughout his life. That's why it's important to keep your baby happy.

How to raise a happy child? Not smart, not well-read, not talented, not obedient, but happy? A simple answer suggests itself: “The most important thing is to love your child deeply.” There is no point in discussing this opinion. Every mother loves her baby.

But what exactly can parents do to raise a happy child? We have selected 12 methods, tips and steps for caring mothers and fathers.

1. Learn to enjoy life

Parenting is not always about purposeful study; often the parental example is much more important. Do you want your children to be happy? Be happy yourself. It sounds a little selfish, but it's sincere. When mom and dad are friendly, enjoy life, change the world for the better, and do what they love, the baby begins to repeat after them.

Psychologists say that in families with depressed adults, children behave much worse, study poorly and have no friends.

Agree, it’s difficult to experience pleasant emotions, being next to frowning parents who do not like their work and curse the authorities and the state. You need to rejoice and have fun - at least for the sake of the children, no matter how strange it may sound. Therefore, communicate with friends more often, go out with your children to fun events and leave your bad mood at home.

2. Raise an optimist

Statistics are inexorable - an optimist is more successful in school, career and sports. 12 ways to raise a happy child Optimistic people are healthier than pessimists and live much longer than them. The advice is both simple and complex - teach your child to look at the world around him with confidence and optimism. Oscar Wilde said: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Remember what you notice around? What do you pay attention to? On snow drifts or beautiful hats snow on the trees? For spring slush or bird trills? To the hum of cars or cheerful children's laughter? Teach your child to see and, most importantly, to notice positive points. Play a game: sit next to each other in the evening and remember 10 good occasions for the past day.

3. Be sincere

You can often hear interesting advice - experts teach mothers to restrain themselves, not to scream, to smile, and not to show their anger and irritation. Of course, a smile is wonderful, but only if it comes from the heart.

Children perfectly sense their mother’s mood; you can’t hide from them that, despite her brave appearance, inside the mother is seething with anger. Such a discrepancy confuses and frightens children.

It will be difficult to teach your child to express emotions if you hide them yourself.

Therefore, laugh if you are happy, frown if you are angry, be sad if you are sad, explaining to your baby why you are experiencing these feelings.

And at the same time teach him to correctly talk about his experiences: “You’re angry with me because I didn’t buy you a car.” This way you will pass on to your children the ability to “read” their own and other people’s emotions.

4. Don't scold for mistakes

There are interesting studies in the psychological literature. Thus, scientists offered children tasks of varying levels of difficulty. Children of overly demanding parents, fearing not to live up to their mother’s expectations, preferred the easiest tasks that they could definitely cope with.

The children, whose parents praised them and encouraged their experiments and efforts, boldly took on difficult exercises.

Childhood is made for experimentation. Little ones try different things, making mistakes along the way. Therefore, do not scold or criticize for an incorrect action.

Talk to your child, explain to him what he did wrong and what needs to be corrected. Only in this case will your child not be afraid of new things; on the contrary, he will strive for the next achievements.

5. Show your child his importance

Children have a natural need to feel needed and significant. Let the baby with early years understands that he makes, albeit a tiny, but important contribution to home comfort. This will not only make him happy, but will also significantly increase his self-esteem.

Already with three years old Children are able to fulfill simple requests: wipe the dust from the table, put spoons on the table, pour dry food into the cat's dish.

By the way, many household tasks help child development. Sorting forks and spoons, for example, helps to learn how to organize objects.

6. Play with your children more often

Unfortunately, modern children have practically no time left for a natural activity at their age - games.

The main activity for children is to play. A cooperative games Great for bringing parents and babies closer together. With the help of ordinary dolls and teddy bears, you can teach a baby a lot, relieve him of his fears, and find new friends.

Therefore, put aside your phone, laptop, ladle, carve out at least half an hour a day and devote this time only to your child. Play with him!

7. Teach how to build relationships

In some ways, it’s easier for adults - they get advice from psychologists on how to improve relationships with their spouse, friends, parents, and work colleagues. And who will tell the child what to do if his peers in kindergarten do not take him to games?

How to react if he is called a “weakling” at school? It’s not possible to get away with the formal words “don’t pay attention.”

If you want to make your child happy, teach him to communicate, negotiate, defend himself, and come out of conflict situations with his head held high.

Happiness, among other things, is the ability to establish relationships with people around you.

8. Provide choice

Believe me, such a choice is extremely important for him. The child begins to feel that he can manage his life, understands his responsibility and feels your trust.

The same applies to older children. If you think that your daughter should go to music school, ask if she wants this.

Perhaps her dream is to go swimming. Will she be happy playing the violin? Or would you rather let your child realize your own aspirations?

9. Teach self-discipline

An important point in raising children is the daily routine. It not only helps the child feel the time, but also disciplines him.

Instructions

Firstly, you always need to start by working on yourself. For example, unhappy parents will not be able to raise happy children, and the same is true with the above-mentioned success. If parents themselves do not strive for anything, then who should their children follow as an example, because it is mom and dad who are their mentors and authorities during the first years of life. In addition, you need to remember that the emotional state of the parents is transmitted to the children, and if it is negative, then it will not affect the child either. in the best possible way.

Naturally, parents often have to be nervous at work, but they definitely shouldn’t bring this stress home. Children very keenly feel the mood of loved ones and adopt it.

Secondly, you can’t take too much care of your own child; usually mothers are prone to this; they try to protect their child from absolutely all troubles, while not allowing him to take a step on his own. Yes, parents do this with the best intentions, and they get used to autonomy own child not easy, but it is important to be able to adequately look at the situation and understand that if you do not give the child the necessary independence, then in the future he will suffer greatly from this. How can someone who is used to others doing everything for him succeed? The answer is obvious.

Thirdly, if you look at successful people, then it can be noted that absolutely all of them are very sociable, and this is not without reason. This quality is truly necessary for every person; having it, it is much easier to move forward along the path of life and reach heights. The fact is that in the process of life one way or another you have to meet with by different people people with whom you need to communicate, if you don’t know how to do this, then you won’t be able to move. Parents should also develop communication skills, and also by their own example. If mom and dad never communicate with their friends or have no friends at all, then the child will not understand how to generally behave with them. Communication is an absolutely natural human need and this must be remembered.

Fourthly, your child must be loved, and he must feel it. Perhaps this is the most important thing. Children who were not loved or towards whom this feeling was not shown grow up very unhappy, withdrawn and complex. As a rule, they are afraid to stand out from the crowd; it is easier for them to be in second or even third roles, because parental love helps the child become more confident.