How long does passionate love last? How long does passion last between a man and a woman

What causes people the most difficulty in relationships? According to the famous professor of psychiatry Dean Delis, it all comes down to the following paradox. One partner always loves more and tries to win the affection of his chosen one. But what more love he wants, the less the other side is disposed to give it.

None of the partners can be blamed for the resulting imbalance. And if you work together, you can find the source of the violation of harmony, and then correct the situation. In the book "Paradox of Passion" you will read why most people fall into this trap, how to change the wrong behaviors and return past feelings. And right now - a few interesting ideas from it.

This seductive fear

Regardless of what the nascent feelings turn out to be, the first sensation is the same for everyone: an uncontrollable uncontrollable fall into the abyss. Falling in love stimulates the release of powerful amphetamine-like substances into the brain. These stimulants have a bewitching by-effect- unusually pleasant sensations.

Falling in love is biochemically associated with a feeling of loss of control, -

Falling in love, a person literally “pulsates” with emotions: he is shaking with anticipation, his palms are sweating, his heart is beating wildly, he physically feels a surge of energy. He is focused on what he loves. Fear of being rejected main reason, causing passion and a sense of danger in love. As soon as a person falls in love, there is no trace of his self-confidence.

Until we are finally convinced of the love of a partner, the possibility of being rejected makes us feel especially powerless and experience even greater passion.

How imbalance occurs

At the beginning of most relationships, both partners experience hesitation. A sense of danger and a desire to regain control over the situation make them make great efforts to increase their attractiveness.

However, as soon as you feel confident in your partner's love, passion will begin to fade. If you have conquered you, you feel insecure, fall in love even more and begin to desperately fight for control of the relationship. Such behavior only irritates and repels the "strong" partner.

Probably the most best example This paradox was brought up by Leo Tolstoy in the novel Anna Karenina. Lovers - Anna and the young Count Vronsky - reach amazing heights of passion partly because circumstances do not allow them to be together. But as soon as Anna leaves her husband, the count's passion begins to wane. Anna begins to be consumed by a sense of insecurity that turns her love into an obsession.

Frame from the film "Anna Karenina" (1967), -

How to understand that you are trapped?

To determine if you have fallen into the trap of passion, evaluate how these statements characterize your couple.

One partner is more jealous than the other.

One partner is usually waiting for a call or the return home of his half.

One partner makes more effort than the other to initiate communication.

One partner says the words "I love you" more often than the other.

One partner is more attractive to the opposite sex than the other.

One partner is less affectionate than the other after physical intimacy.

One partner wants to "work on the relationship" more than the other.

One partner usually feels neglected at parties, while the other feels stiff in the company due to the presence of the second half.

One partner is more anxious and insecure about the stability of the relationship, while the second takes them for granted.

One partner expresses annoyance or embarrassment at the other's behavior in public.

During quarrels, one partner complains of "selfishness", "narcissism" and "carelessness" of the other, while the latter complains of "jealousy", "obsession" and "excessive demands".

If several of these points are about you, then there is an imbalance in your relationship. The more “yes” answers, the more the harmony is broken.

Chameleon people

Having fallen madly in love, we begin to please our partner too much. Here is what a client of Dean Delisa says about her lover: “Jonathan was fond of existentialism, and I did not want to seem completely ignorant. I bought several books on modern philosophy and began to study the material. During one of our dinners, I dropped a couple of phrases about Sartre, Kierkegaard, "true being" and so on. Jonathan just couldn't believe his ears."

We're trying to be attractive to whoever we want to be the right match for. Sloppy people suddenly become neat, irritable - radiate calmness and peacefulness. Deciding to win someone's heart, we determine their most serious interests, and then show that we are separating them.

Falling in love turns us into chameleons. And this is a direct path to the wrong relationship model.

Recovery of individuality

Having caught signs of a “weak” in yourself, immediately start thinking about two things at once: how to reduce pressure on a partner and how to become stronger yourself. The best way to achieve both is to work on reclaiming your identity outside of the relationship. Focus not on what is expected of you, but on what interests you.

Do not lose yourself even for the sake of your beloved, -

First, take an inventory of your personality. Ask yourself the following questions:

What activities gave me pleasure before meeting my chosen one (or before problems arose between us)?

What are my personal goals outside of this relationship? Am I trying to implement them?

What strengths do I possess? Am I currently using them?

The word "l" is prohibited

Leave love alone. Using the L word makes it difficult to talk about relationships. Many "strong", torn apart by spiritual contradictions, really do not know how they feel for a partner. Usually leaders think like this: “I don’t feel old love, so I'm moving away."

Having ceased to worry about love, partners begin to discuss harmful models of their behavior more effectively, -

This approach is dangerous because it turns cold feelings into main problem couples. Leaders should learn to reason like this: “Something is happening to our relationship that makes me withdraw and love less.” This way of framing the question interprets the “loss” of love as a symptom of relationship dynamics and offers hope that wrong patterns of behavior can be changed so that love flares up with renewed vigor.

More in the book:

• What are the wrong patterns of behavior in a couple
• Recipes for overcoming problems in love
• How to bring passion back into a relationship
• Varieties of "strong" and "weak" partners
• How to deal with recriminations
• What to do with jealousy
• Stories from the life of real people
• How to overcome the bias towards one of the partners
• How to create strong, long lasting relationships
• When it's time to leave a person

The paradox of passion can put an end to a barely born romance or poison the life of a couple with experience. Of course, the ardent passion for each other will not last forever, but this is not necessary. Over time, partners should move into a phase of intimacy and warmth. How to achieve harmony in relationships experienced psychologist Dean Delisa.

P.S.: Are you interested in books that help broaden your horizons? Subscribe to our newsletter to receive the most delicious excerpts every week.

13.06.2017 10:56:29

Love comes unexpectedly, pushes people to the most daring deeds, makes you look at the world in a new way.

However, this feeling cannot last forever, it passes. People often ask themselves: how long does falling in love last? To get an answer to it, you need to read the answers of psychologists.

How to forget first love? Learn about it from ours.

What it is?

They call it falling in love positive feeling that occurs when looking at the object of sympathy.

Consciousness at this moment narrows, which leads to ignoring the shortcomings of the object.

Man idealizes him, draws attention only to positive qualities.

This feeling is the hope for possible happiness. A person experiences a vivid feeling that inspires him, gives rise to love for life and everything around him.

However, the lover most often experiences feelings not to a real person, but to her image which he represents. He becomes dependent on the object of adoration.

At the physical level, this phenomenon is explained by the functioning of certain glands in the human body.

The hormone dopamine leads to a powerful surge of emotions. It helps a person to go to his goal, overcoming obstacles.

What are the signs?

Recognizing a person in love is quite simple., the following signs help in this:

In addition, a person partially loses the ability to think logically. He makes rash decisions, does stupid things.

Concentrating on anything can be very difficult. Some people experience craving for creativity. They have inspiration to write poetry, music, paintings.

Signs of love:

Difference from love

An important detail that many people forget about: there is love. For the birth of love in any case, it will take time. Falling in love is the first step on the path to true love.

How to distinguish love from falling in love? Find out from the video:

Feeling duration

How long does a man's love last?

The duration of falling in love largely depends on the individual qualities of a man. This feeling usually lasts 2-3 years..

After this time, the man begins to notice the shortcomings of his beloved, which he will either accept or reject. At this stage, the relationship becomes stronger or the couple breaks up.

How long does a woman's love last? The love of women and men is the same: 2-3 years. At this time, the girls do not notice the shortcomings of their chosen ones, idealize them.

When 2-3 years pass, the euphoria disappears, the woman begins to evaluate her beloved more rationally. In this case, she will either accept his shortcomings or part with him.

When does true love begin?

It all depends on the couple themselves: sometimes this feeling lasts for several months, and sometimes for many years.

Usually when love ends true love begins.

Despite the revealed shortcomings, people continue to love each other, care and treat each other with tenderness.

This strong feeling, which can last a lifetime.

Psychology of a man in love:

Hypothesis about 3 years

Why is it said that love lives for two or three years? There is a theory that love lives for three years. Actually there is some truth in it. but not the whole truth.

In the first three years of a relationship, people feel a strong passion, euphoria. Feelings are bright, intense, literally bind people to each other.

However, feelings gradually weaken, people get used to each other, they begin to see shortcomings. This leads to quarrels, scandals, which lead to emotional wounds.

As a result, love disappears, but sometimes it is very difficult to leave a loved one. People get used to each other, become attached, remember joyful moments.

If in this case a person tries to understand his soul mate, accepts her shortcomings, a real feeling will be born that can last a lifetime.

People will come out to a new one. Three years later love does not pass, but only begins.

Euphoria, wandering in the clouds and selfishness disappear. People begin to take care of each other, become truly close. Even without euphoria, they continue to be together, enjoying each other's company.

How to prove to a girl that you love her? help you!

Is it true that love lasts 3 years? Expert opinion:

When will passion subside?

Passion is a vivid feeling that occurs in both men and women. Although passion can literally control a person, bind to the second half, it cannot last forever.

Its duration depends on the person himself, his character traits, interests, personality traits. According to psychologists, passion lasts from several weeks to one year.

Passion without love disappears quickly, especially when a couple begins to live together. Cohabitation - The best way to know a soul mate and not everything will suit her.

If previously a person felt passion, exalted the object of adoration, then during cohabitation, he falls from heaven to earth and understands that the object of adoration is quite ordinary, a real man which is far from ideal.

However, passion could turn into something more serious, which leads to strong relationship, but for this people must be able to listen to each other, work on themselves.

If they want to save the relationship, get used to each other, passion will turn into affection, care, love.

How long does passion last? Psychologist's opinion:

Do feelings fade with time?

Love pushes people to create a family, have children. However, even the strongest feeling can fade with time. People then cease to feel love and decide to leave.

Love passes because of the routine, the monotonous life, frequent quarrels. There can be a huge number of reasons. There are couples that show strong love throughout life, but these are very few.

They are distinguished by the fact that they were able to go through many obstacles with their loved one, they did not give up their feelings, continue to take care of each other.

Very often, love passes when the tastes and preferences of a person change.

He moves to a new stage of development, begins to see the world in a new way and is surprised to find that his soulmate does not share his new ideas, plans for the future.

Disagreements arise that can lead to a break in relations. To save love, it is recommended to communicate a lot, try to understand a loved one, look at the world through his eyes. The ability to compromise can save a relationship.

Even those couples who have lived together all their lives, faced at least once with scandals, quarrels and a real relationship crisis. Don't think they were perfect.

The difference between such couples is that they were able to compromise, overcome obstacles. They tried to escape from the routine by traveling, romantic dates. Such people continued to work on relationships, solved difficulties together. It only strengthened the feeling of love.

Over time, love may pass, or it may remain. It all depends on the people themselves and those efforts that are applied in the process of relationships.

According to statistics, 45% of couples break up after 3 years. This suggests that almost half of the couples are unable to overcome this threshold. If we take a longer period of time - 10 years, then statistics say that in this case 70% of couples break up.

Not everyone can overcome a 10-year relationship. Their mistake is that they stop working on relationships. notice only the negative qualities of each other.

Any grievances must be resolved together, you need to learn admit your mistakes and work on them getting better.

Falling in love and love are different feelings that people very often confuse, make mistakes in relationships and, as a result, part. Knowing the peculiarities of these phenomena and working on themselves, people will be able to overcome all hardships together and maintain love relationships.

“He has another! How to live now? From time to time I have to deal with such situations (mostly in the stories of clients).

The answer to the question depends on many things, and, among other things, on the duration of the novel.

Seriously. The duration of the romance affects a lot, and today I will talk about the duration of the romance on the side.

To be clear, these are not research findings. Unfortunately, I haven't seen any research on this subject. Probably, they are, and, perhaps, they even came out in Russian, but here I am - I didn’t stumble upon it.

Therefore, everything stated below is a summation of my observations of people.

So let's get started.

1. Preliminary stage "Capacity building". At this stage, future lovers only look at each other, only think about the possibility of a romance. They feel rapprochement, tremble and nervous, tormented and worried. They want to be with each other more and more, they find more and more reasons to communicate. Such a state can be called a voltage arc. How closer people become, the steeper the arc bends, the more potential accumulates.

The duration of this stage is deeply individual. It's even hard to set deadlines. Someone has two seconds, someone has twenty years. Therefore, no deadlines.

2. initial stage"Fireworks and butterflies in the stomach." The arc of tension cannot hold on forever, at some point it “bursts”. The steeper the arc, the stronger the "burst". Fireworks begin, a flood of feelings, crazy sex, butterflies in the stomach, the sky is in diamonds. It's exactly the same stormy candy-bouquet period, as in other respects. Hormones are running high, the world is beautiful, guilt is temporarily buried under the previously mentioned hormones.

The duration of the stage is approximately three months.

3. Inertial stage "Recession of heat". Since the hormonal storm cannot last forever, after a while, the dormancy begins. Meetings are still beautiful, butterflies are in place, but you no longer feel past passion. Together just fine, but no more. If before the feeling of guilt was absent, now it can manifest itself.

The duration of the stage is approximately a month.

4. Stage of tension "Let's decide!". Since the potential of the arc of tension has already been exhausted in many respects, the intensity of passions is already noticeably subsiding. Moreover, the calming down of the storm of hormones allows you to turn on the brain. And that brain starts asking uncomfortable questions. Say, if we have a relationship with you, then you should not have other relationships. And they are (husband there, or wife). So, says the brain, it would be necessary to leave the disgusted spouse (wife). After all, right? After all, right?

It seems to be correct and seems to be true, but for some reason no one leaves a disgusted spouse (wife). As they perfectly showed in the film “What else do men talk about”: “You see, you have to wait a little bit ...”

And at this moment, the lovers begin to understand that the cloudless relationship that they had two months ago is no longer so cloudless. Demands begin (“Get away from her!”), reproaches (“How long can this go on!?”) And other charms of tension.

It suddenly turns out that communication on the side is quite burdensome and, to be honest, carries many disadvantages. Previously, all this was not visible, but here - like a veil fell from my eyes.

The duration of this stage is approximately three months.

5. The stage of attenuation "I will definitely call." The stage comes only if the fourth stage is left without a solution. If lovers do not dare to change the status quo, then their connection is slowly thinning. Fewer meetings, fewer calls, less interest in each other. If no one decides, if no one decides on drastic changes (leave her husband, divorce her wife), then the romance will die out by itself. AND last phrase will be "I will definitely call." Of course no one calls...

The duration of this stage is about four months.

Does it always happen that way? As the most categorical psychologist in the world, I would like to say yes, but scientific integrity stops me. It happens both this way and the other way. I just outlined some "average portrait", something like general trends.

Now about what to do with all this. As you can see, it turns out interesting - the options for action are highly dependent on the stage of the romance on the side.

Firstly, it turns out that if nothing is done, then the romance on the side will end by itself (some are lucky and they won’t know anything at all).

Secondly, it turns out that it is useless to do anything at the second and third stages - all the same, the hormones knocked out the mind. Do not reach out to him.

Thirdly, it seems that at the fourth stage it is impossible to run into and demand to be determined. A person will find himself between two fires and go to where the fire is smaller.

Fourth, at the last, fifth stage, you can put pressure on it - most likely, then it will end faster and in favor of marriage.

In general, there are many answers, which of them are correct - it's not up to me to decide. Everything is very individual.

But I can say for sure - do not bring to change. The trouble from them is usually much more than the pleasure. It is better to solve the accumulated difficulties in a relationship with a partner, and not find an outlet for yourself in the face of an outsider.

And I have everything, thank you for your attention.

Here are some more posts on a similar topic:

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How long does the romance on the side last: 502 comments

1. Nikita

   Good afternoon, I saw your next article in the media and decided to write. It's been 1.5 months since my last question. My wife went on vacation with her children to her grandfather (her first love lives there). I don’t get away from her, I don’t call, I don’t write, no conversations and goodies (I ran after her for half a year, flowers, gifts, compliments, I can’t do without you, let’s start from the beginning). Before leaving, she screamed that she didn’t care about the fate of the children and me, she herself wants to be happy and manipulated, but now she has returned quietly (there are no conditions for living there, Ukraine, the village), here I left the apartment for the children, she is in a good job (which I didn’t get). She tries to get into a conversation through children, reads books to them, takes them to entertainment, began to cook and clean the house (before that, everything fell on me, she constantly felt bad), doctors, signed up for mugs and gives gifts, while trying to either report to me what she did, or partially involve me in what she herself can do. I began to show up late at home, I don’t tell anything about myself, I just save money for new life. In the evenings and weekends, he does not answer the phone as before, but continues to correspond with his lover. Correspondence love began in January (an unclosed gestalt, she sighed for 11 years, 9 years with me), went there in April and August (there was already 100% betrayal), as I understand it, now she has a feeling of guilt in front of her children? Divorce on October 5, where I think they will give another 3-6 months. Two children (4 and 6). I understand correctly that if a feeling of guilt arose in front of the children, then soon it will begin before me (only I watched the children from the moment of her love), now she is trying to prove that she good mom(and tell me about it in every possible way). I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to deprive my children of their childhood and family (they already ask questions why dad doesn’t cook for us, comes late, doesn’t wave in the garden in the window), but I understand that a person doesn’t regret anything (it sounded cold - sorry, I didn’t want it to happen, it just happened that way). For the sake of the children, I might have forgiven for a while until they grow up, but I walk with the thought - if our entire family, for which I have strived to build for 9 years and gave everything, was exchanged simply for conversations and correspondence, a person so easily betrayed, is it even worth trusting him again for the sake of children.

2. Nikita

   Good afternoon, Pavel! I will describe the situation to the end, otherwise people usually do not know how it all ended. Judging by external changes and towards me, the affair has been going on since last July. After the last return in August, the wife lasted 2 months. This weekend there was a breakdown (without telling me anything, so that I could see the children, I bought tickets to Kyiv, collected and hid the bag, made a gift to order), I knew all this, but did not say it. Having warned that I would go to my friends for the night, I left, an hour later I returned and my mother-in-law was sitting with the children (who I have not been sitting with children for 6 years, I let her go with the words - I will look at my children myself, I know everything, it’s not decent to do this). The wife left, bought her lover gifts and alcohol in duty free, paid for hotels and cafes, returned only on Monday morning (in fact, for the first time she left the children without even warning). Divorce after 5 days (first hearing), even for the sake of the children I decided not to forgive her, she was just a great mother, but now I’m really scared, the romance lasts for about 12-14 months already, is it possible that at a distance it can last much longer than described approximately by you. (I'm just afraid to leave the children already, so that they would not be left unattended and her brains turned on). Thanks for the answer!

3. Anna

   Good afternoon Pavel. I have read your article hundreds of times. Last year. Thank you for it, everything in it is accessible, reasonable and logical.
   Are there the same psychological patterns in a triangle situation, but if the mistress is pregnant? My family has gone through all the stages that are described in the article. An affair with another woman has already been going on more than a year During this time, the husband left the family five times and after a while returned again. At this stage, he asks to return home again, but her husband's mistress is pregnant and really wants to have a baby.
   We have been married for 19 years and have two children. During the departures, the husband kept in touch with the children, our communication with him was also every day, but in the form of correspondence in the messenger, there were no romantic overtones, only about children and various common interests. Each of his departure was painful for me, I still love him and with my heart I want his return. But all this time I did not persuade him, all the parishes were on his initiative. I understand that if he returns, everything can happen again and that it would be wiser to finish this story for myself, but I know that I won’t do it. My question is how now to be with the presence of pregnancy. Or rather, not the presence, here of course it's not for me to decide, but only for her. Are there any statistics on what happens in such situations when the spouse grows bastard? How to behave with that girl, because even an illegitimate child needs a father, and certainly financial support. The husband convinces that he will not be able to live there, but that he is physically very attracted to this woman, that he believes that it is more correct to refuse to meet with her, but to support the child financially. And I still don't understand how to get closer after all this? After all, he told me every time that I was not physically interested in him. Sex was in those periods when we were together, I don’t understand at his request or because it’s necessary, because he returned. On my part, there is both love and a desire for intimacy.

Passion is one of the most powerful human feelings. The initial stage of love. Mostly unconscious, instinctive energy. It cannot be induced artificially by experiment. This is a feeling that every adult has experienced at least once in his life. This is a state that you want to live again and again. Therefore, a person who has known this rushes in search of the object of passion again.

As a result of evolution, nature has created not just two different body, but also two various types brain, two ways of thinking. Therefore, male and female passion are initially different in nature. In order for passion to grow into love, it is necessary to understand and accept these differences. Otherwise, the rejection of one’s own manifestations in a fit of passion and inadequate demands built on the basis of some perfect image to a partner, often lead to the destruction of relationships that do not even have time to strengthen.

A better understanding of the mental and physiological processes in men experiencing passionate feelings will help women in many ways change their ideas about the "mysterious" behavior of men. And in the future to avoid mistakes in the process of creating a longer love relationship.

Watching in modern society many examples of born, but, alas, did not take place love between a man and a woman, I come to the conclusion that it is not understanding and rejection of the behavior of a partner on transitional phase from passion to love interferes with the continuation of the relationship.

What kind of a man is he in passion? Why is he behaving like this? What actually happens? Every woman asks these questions. We will try to answer them.

Passion is...

For many centuries we have seen manifestations of male passion in literary works, fine arts, music, architecture, science, exploits. Everything beautiful created by men, everything scientific discoveries, made by them, personal feats - all this in the name of a woman and in a fit of deepest passion. By the way, everything beautiful created by women (and they also know how to create) was created in a state of love. Those. at the next level of manifestation of feelings and experiences. So what is passion?

Passion is an innate emotional process, a strong, persistent feeling of a person that dominates other impulses. Unaccountable unbridled attraction, characterized by enthusiasm and leading to the concentration of all aspirations and forces on the subject of passion. The objects of passion can be both people and objects and even ideas. Most often, the word "passion" is used to refer to high degree sexual arousal combined with emotional attraction to this partner. Passion can be accepted, sanctioned by a person, or it can be condemned by it, experienced as something undesirable, obsessive.

The main sign of passion is its effectiveness, the confluence of strong-willed and emotional moments.

Vladimir Ivanovich Dal, in his definition of passion, wrote: “In an animal, passions are merged into one with reason, forming a wake-up call, in the passions of an animal there is always a measure. The passions of man, on the contrary, are separated from the rational principle, subordinate to it, but they are always at enmity with it and do not know any measure. This definition most clearly characterizes the manifestation of passion for male type. Since the process of experiencing passion in a man covers the deep structures of the brain. More on this later.

The fact that the object of passion can be an idea or an object is also more of a masculine type of passion. Since in the female version, the manifestation of passionate desire for an object or idea is not observed. This is also due primarily to the physiological characteristics of the female body and responses.

The passion expressed by a person leads to self-affirmation, creates a state of joy, promotes the manifestation of integrity and gives meaning to life.

How it all starts. Biochemistry of the process

Man is a polygamous being. At the same time, he likes many women. He can show signs of attention to a woman even on the basis of a momentary Have a good mood. Often there is nothing more to consider.

The first thing that happens at the stage of creating attraction is smell recognition. The individual combination of bacteria on the surface of the skin creates an individual combination of gases emitted by them, which in turn forms the unique smell of each person.

This smell contains pheromones - an external secretion product secreted by the body to attract individuals of the opposite sex. Pheromones signal that the partner is ready to mate. In humans, the effects of these chemicals on the brain are weaker, but no less important. Yes, in the composition male sweat included Chemical substance androstenol, which attracts women. And the composition of female vaginal secretion includes substances called copulins. Studies have shown that they increase the sexual attractiveness of a woman in the eyes of a man. In addition, it turned out that men react more positively to the smell, women at the time when she is ovulating. At this point, it is decided whether the smell will attract the partner or not. If not, then no matter how cool the girl is, he will not choose her. Because the odor molecules, penetrating into the sinuses, do not enter the brain, but immediately into the limbic system. This is an unconscious process. If the smell is suitable, in the organ of sexual smell in the nasal sinus, some of the odor molecules are stopped and stored, periodically warming up the brain with a small release for a long time. This odor recognition lasts 10-15 seconds and is essential for recognizing the compatibility of immune systems. If immune systems are not compatible, this will affect the offspring. The next stage is recognition endocrine systems- hormonal status. Lasts for the next minute at the level of neural determinants.

Next is the stage of bodily sympathy. This is where unconscious ideals of beauty come into play: body shape and size, hair color, voice timbre, etc. The external attractiveness of a woman plays for a man great importance. Based on a peculiar type of thinking, he needs to examine, create a visual image and supplement it with his own fantasies. Usually a man pays attention to 1-2 especially attractive features of a woman.

Whether passion arises depends on these coincidences. These stages go through each individually: from 15-20 minutes, up to a day. And if all this coincides, the first stage of love begins - passion.

When recognition has taken place, the instincts define it as stressful situation giving a signal to the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus is the center of pleasure and displeasure. At this level, evaluation takes place: I like it.

The hypothalamus is involved in the regulation external manifestations emotional behavior by controlling somatic (muscles of the face and limbs) and autonomic (glands and muscles internal organs) reactions. Further, the hypothalamus selectively stimulates different zones brain. In particular, the hippocampus with its ability to respond to signals of unlikely events and turn on emotions as a compensatory function in case of a lack of information. The emergence of emotional stress is accompanied by a transition to forms of behavior other than in a calm state, mechanisms for evaluating external signals and responding to them in accordance with the dominant principle. The hypothalamus also launches the sympathetic department of the autonomic nervous system, performs an activating function. It turns on at the moment of tension to mobilize special resources of the body, ensuring readiness for additional active actions. The hypothalamus in turn releases corticotropin into the blood. Corticotropin, having reached the adrenal glands, induces the production of adrenaline and norepinephrine in the adrenal glands. The adrenaline phase starts. Adrenaline causes an increase in heart rate, vasoconstriction abdominal cavity, muscles, mucous membranes, helps to relax the muscles of the intestine, dilate pupils, accelerates protein metabolism, reduces muscle mass, increases body temperature, increases sweating. Norepinephrine constricts blood vessels and increases the level blood pressure. They allow you to mobilize the resources of the body.

Signals from the motor cortex go to the nuclei of the facial nerves and in the brain stem, from where they reach the facial muscles along the axons of motor neurons. There is an explosive effect. This reaction is manifested in the fact that the level of testosterone, the male hormone, rises in the blood of men. Which makes a man start hunting and repel an attack. The level of serotonin decreases. All this chemical and mental compote gives rise to a state of passion. For a man, this feeling is like a long-awaited, fresh sip that gives an incredible amount of strength, a storm of emotions, an incredible rise in motivation.

Psychology of male passion

The increase in testosterone turns on the unconscious instinct of animal hunting, but on a conscious level, a man does not see the object of a true hunt in front of him. This dissonance often leads to confusion. Therefore, in a fit of passion for a woman, a man often does not behave decisively. It is easier for a woman to provide a safe territory for a man and create all the conditions for a man to take his first step.

In a relationship based on passion, the satisfaction of his desires in a man comes first. In this state, a man wants to experience vivid love emotions, to be with a woman, but is not ready to become attached.

During a man's passionate love, testosterone is injected into the blood in five or seven waves a day, with the highest wave at sunrise - about twice as high as any other.

In a man at the level of the corpus callosum, the number of neural connections that ensure the exchange of information between the left and right hemispheres is 30% less than in a woman. The logic and emotions of a man exist almost separately from each other. Therefore, a man in a given situation is either emotional or analytical. During the period of passionate love, the life of a man is not limited only to the object of passion, there are other vital, professional tasks. And since in order to get a result (and a man, by his specifics, is aimed at the final result, unlike a woman for whom the process is important), he needs to focus on what is being done in this moment In fact, while the biochemical processes in the body do not fade away, the state of passion extends to all actions. During this period, efficiency in all its spheres of activity increases tremendously. The impossibility of being constantly near a woman (seven times a day) makes any process an object of passion, revealing the creative potential in a man.

First sex and affection

The physiology of a man makes him think first of all about the body of a woman, about different ways how to achieve it, not about romantic relationship. The main erogenous organ of a man is his brain! His imagination! Creating the image of his chosen one in any situations, poses, in any clothes and without it, a man forces his limbic system to work almost to the point of wear and tear. High level hormones and neurotransmitters requires an urgent discharge - you need sex, and it is with her.

Body contact excites erogenous zones. The impulses from them go to the brain. That, in turn, gives the command to release dopamine (the hormone of pleasure). Dopamine increases sexual excitability and the need for sex. Copulin, produced in a woman's vagina, acts like a drug on a man. It helps to relax and get rid of stress. Once in the body of a man, copulin increases testosterone levels by 1.5 times.

During sex, only particularly deep ancient parts of the brain are activated in a man. The sex center is located in the hypothalamus, which is several times larger in a man than in a woman. Given that the hypothalamus is stimulated by testosterone, which a man has 20 times more than a woman, a man is ready to have sex anytime and anywhere. At this stage, phenylethylamine, and possibly dopamine and norepinephrine, also have a stimulating effect on the brain.

Phenylethylamine enhances metabolic processes in the human body and reduces appetite. By the way, it is present in some natural substances, such as cocoa and pink water(that's why candy is so popular gift). These substances are on a par with the so-called amphetamines - stimulants, under the influence of which a state of euphoria occurs.

During sexual intercourse, the pituitary gland of a man releases vasopressin, a hormone that causes attachment. The appearance of this hormone in the blood causes a man to warm, tender feelings to a woman. And only now there is a personal perception of a woman. Such changes in perception are influenced by female hormone- oxytocin, which a man receives from a woman during sex. It causes a benevolent disposition, allows you to believe the words specific person, This hormone is female body participates immediately after childbirth in the formation of the mother-child relationship. The same psycho-emotional experiences are experienced by a man immediately after sex, as after birth.

After the first sex comes dopamine - the endorphin stage of passion. Dopamine betrays a certain emotional contrast of uniqueness and uniqueness to the partner. Instinct imperiously says that you need to be with this partner. There is a state similar to cocaine intoxication. This stage can last for about 3 years, or until the baby is born.

An important reason for marriage for many men is just the desire to have regular sex, moreover, without the threat of infection, which is fraught with casual relationships.

More than anything, a man is afraid of being erectile dysfunctional in the eyes of his wife or another beloved woman. First of all, in the sexual, as well as in the financial sense. For a man, a lot of things in life are connected with work, with the means that it gives, with its social status. Along with the loss of a place or own business, a man loses respect for himself. And as you know, a person with a humiliated self-esteem and a bad husband, and an unimportant lover, and no father.

Therefore, the birth of a child causes a state of achievement with a new increase in testosterone and a new round of passion. And at the same time, female oxytocin strengthens a man's attachment to his beloved.