How to find a good guy for serious. Interests and passions. Resorts for romantic dating

Natalia Kaptsova - expert in psychology and success

Reading time: 13 minutes

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Many representatives of the weaker sex are tormented by the question - where to meet a good man. Of course, we are talking about the meeting, followed by a serious relationship and the march of Mendelssohn. Young ladies rarely think about it: beauty and youth do their job - fans are always with them. But what about older single girls? Where to look for him - this single, attractive, worthy man?

Rating of the best ways and places to meet

It is becoming more and more difficult for a modern woman to arrange her own personal life. The career ladder selects those years for which all the girlfriends manage to get married and have children. And around business woman there is almost no one left in whom she could see a serious and, most importantly, a single life partner. Often there are contenders for a hand and a heart, but the woman is not sure what. Where are you most likely to meet your soul mate?

Finding a partner on online dating sites

Internet dating does not limit you by age, place of work, or geographical references. There are a lot of shortcomings (inadequate personalities, insults, lovers of sailing, etc.). Therefore, you should choose only reputable dating sites with a positive reputation, and, of course, present yourself in the right light. Of course, frivolous behavior, coquetry in the comments and candid photos unlikely to attract a serious gentleman. Also, do not be too frank in personal correspondence.

Modern

Internet. Interest forums, thematic sites (for example, literary or automotive), social media, blogs, etc. A huge number of unmarried serious men today "freezes" in the global network. Smart, successful, interesting and free. Relationships transferred from virtual to real have long ceased to be something fantastic. It's quite normal phenomenon and much more effective way find the same man real life. Find your niche and go! A successful photo, a maximum of creativity, humor and communication, a minimum of female stupidity - and He himself will notice you.

Trainings, courses - the best place for dating by interests

Even absolutely strangers can bring as close as possible short time common interests. In such places, you expand your horizons, meet a lot of new people, increase your own self-esteem and get the opportunity to meet someone who will go further hand in hand with you. It can be programming and photoshop courses, foreign language, directors, etc. As a rule, already formed, ambitious people who know what they want from life go to such courses and trainings. It is clear that the more expensive the seminar (courses, training), the more serious people can be found there. The main thing is that you must be seen and heard. Be active, timely and smart.

Serious clubs for serious dating

Specialized, youth and other clubs. A respectable man may be interested in an interesting show program or the arrival of some famous person- Singer, DJ It is clear that it is important to choose a club correctly (a representative of the golden youth is absolutely not suitable for the role of a future husband) and it is unlikely that a respectable man will be interested in a mouse with an extinct look. Although a too excited look will not bring good luck - a man should feel like a hunter, not a game.

Services of marriage agencies, dating services

Usually they are divided into real, telephone and virtual. Dating through this "system" greatly facilitates the search. It is clear that you will have to pay for the service, but, according to statistics, a considerable part of women find their halves through modern "matchmakers". The advantage of this option (not for everyone, of course, but for many) is the opportunity to find a soul mate abroad.

Dating over a cup of coffee

Business lunches in expensive restaurants, hotel lobby bars. In such places it is quite possible to meet a successful interesting man. And the habit of "drinking coffee" in a hotel bar can do a good job.

To the supermarket - for an acquaintance

One of the most effective ways get to know a man. The main thing is to choose the right time (Friday evening or weekend is best), choose the right place (the largest supermarket in the city), and take your time. It is necessary to let a man help you in choosing a product or “deciphering” an incomprehensible label.

Sports clubs, fitness clubs for health and happy dating

It's clear successful men They don’t sit there around the clock - they are busy with work. Most likely to meet them - after eight in the evening and around eight in the morning. Of course, all attempts to get acquainted with a man who is engaged in strength exercises are meaningless. It is most advantageous to do this in the rest room or in the locker room.

Foreign dating is a chance for happiness

A great option to combine business with pleasure. Celebrate some date or, for example, Christmas, abroad, and at the same time get a chance for a new fateful acquaintance. In particular, in the same Germany, you can visit a special cafe, which usually organizes blind dates for singles.

Auctions, exhibitions for spiritual acquaintances

Thematic, automotive, book, etc. True, the auction is associated with the risk of accidentally purchasing a thing that you do not need at a sky-high price. Exhibitions are a more economical and intelligent option; at exhibitions you can meet an intelligent, enthusiastic man who is interested in art or, for example, modern cars.

Dating in sports bars, football, boxing

Options for dating - a wagon and a small cart. There are a lot of places like this worthy men. But this the way is fine only if you are completely sincerely fanatic from the roar of the stands and the bloody broken faces in the ring. If you do not like it, it is better to look for another way to meet the man of your dreams.

Fishing is a great hobby for dating

As in the previous paragraph, the success of dating on a fishing trip is possible only with your unearthly passion for mormyshkas and spinning rods. Do you have such a hobby? Have you succeeded in it yet? This means that you can quite catch not only a pike or a large bream, but also a man with whom you can share this hobby for the rest of your life.

office romances

Why not? Look around, look for your destiny on the net, and this time he, the very one, sits in a chair opposite you and waits until you finally pay attention to him. What will your colleagues think? Who cares! If both of you are not burdened with family obligations, then who can forbid you to become happy?

Dinners in a restaurant for the best acquaintances

Yes, yes, even there you can find interesting nice man, and not just a lover of meaningless flirting. Not all men are waiting for their wives at home delicious dinners, and many bachelors spend their evenings in a restaurant alone. Perhaps even in the hope of meeting a nice lonely young lady.

Dating in auto shops, shops for hunters and fishermen

Starting a conversation with a man in such a place is easy. What kind of man refuses to explain to a beautiful lady what kind of bait is needed for bream, and what spinners are needed for pike? No! All you have to do is listen with your mouth open and marvel at his competence. Even if you know more about it than him.

Resorts for romantic dating

A place where you even have to fight off new acquaintances. But do single men go to resorts for their halves? Not at all. Rather the exception than the rule. A bachelor at a resort is a person who wants to relax to the fullest. And no more.
Dating a man is a very simple task. You can get acquainted anywhere, if you step on your shyness and fearfulness a little. Another question is how long this acquaintance will be. According to statistics, a resort acquaintance is the most doomed (among other options) to collapse in relationships. On the other hand, you will never guess where you will find your happiness - in which shop, at which traffic light and in which bus. Matter of chance. The most, probably important point in this search process, do not make acquaintances with married men. Because nothing good can come out of these relationships, a priori. And we are looking for happiness and only happiness from relationships.

Every woman, regardless of age, wants to connect her fate with a man with whom you can confidently go through life. But women, especially older ones, are often lost in doubt that it is even possible to meet a real soul mate. This will help the advice of experienced psychologists. A woman must understand herself and realize her nature: character traits, preferences and interests. This is what will help determine what kind of man can make her truly happy.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortuneteller Baba Nina:"There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow..." Read more >>

Where to begin

You should think about self-improvement - go to trainings to teach this skill. If this is not possible, you can study the specialized literature. No need to remake your manners and behavior, trying to make them more secular. But it is necessary to pay attention to such seemingly insignificant details as gestures or facial expressions. Special attention. Experts recommend the following:

1. Mentally draw your own perfect man. You can make a list of all its advantages: think about its appearance, behavior and other details. Identify possible shortcomings and bad habits in order to realize which ones are acceptable and which are not. Mark with a plus those qualities that are present in the woman herself, and with a minus - which she does not have. This method allows you to see the difference in characters and understand what exactly needs to be changed in yourself. The main thing is to think well. It is better to make a list for a whole month than to change something in it later.
2. Do not assume that coming up with your ideal is a waste of time. Psychologists have proven that if you regularly visualize your dream in your mind, it will definitely come true. It is important to understand that it is necessary to describe such a man sincerely, without relying on someone else's opinion. Only left completely alone, you can recreate the ideal image.
3. Sports, normalization of sleep and nutrition will help men see natural beauty women.
4. Look for a partner who is close in spirit, and not follow the recommendations of tests from magazines. To do this, you need to be guided by your preferences and habits. educated and athletic woman is unlikely to be happy with a stupid man who has a lot bad habits. But partners should not be similar in absolutely everything, because the strongest relationships imply complementing each other.
5. Erase all your thoughts about negative experience try to forgive your former partners, as it greatly affects today's relationships with the opposite sex. If a woman is unable to do this on her own, she should contact experienced psychologist. To enter into a new relationship, you need to clear your inner consciousness. Be sure to find time for this, so as not to look at the future companion through the prism of past grievances.
6. It is necessary to understand what exactly prevents you from getting to know each other. A woman should be extremely sincere in dialogue with herself. Many ladies have too high demands on men - such that none of them can handle. Often they are looking for a husband-sponsor. You don't have to compare yourself to yours ex-husband or a guy, as well as hating all men without exception, it is better to try to find a barrier inside yourself that does not allow you to meet the man of your dreams. The consciousness of a woman should imagine the road leading to happiness, and not a wall that does not let her in.
7. Each person has many relatives and relatives. You can ask them to introduce you to someone.
8. If a woman has not met her man for a long time, it is better for her to seek the help of a professional.

How to meet your destiny man

What not to do

Many women in search of their ideal companion simply lose their heads: they rush to extremes and make mistakes, thereby only pushing men away. To prevent this from happening, you can use the following tips from psychologists:

1. Do not resort to dubious ways to attract the attention of the opposite sex. It's about about all sorts of fortune-tellers and magicians who promise in a few days. should not be practiced and independent love spells taken from books. If a man notices this, he may get scared or think that the woman has a sick psyche. In addition, the help of fortune-tellers is very expensive, and regular communication with them always leads to despair and a decline in vitality.
2. Don't take people you like seriously. married men. This will bring a lot of suffering not only to his wife and children, but also to his mistress. If a man cheated once, he will cheat again.
3. No need to become a fan of the guy you like and deify him. This is how a woman loses her spirituality and will never be successful with men.
4. You can’t blackmail a potential partner, invent dirty stories about him and threaten to tell everyone about it in order to keep him close to you. This also applies to a fictional pregnancy, because sooner or later the deception will be revealed, and trusting relationship it will be impossible to return.
5. No need to try to drag a man into bed at the first meeting, believing that after that he will never leave. More often, everything happens the other way around: he will be scared off by such easy accessibility and he will begin to look for a faithful and serious partner.
6. You should not think that happiness itself will come to the house and the prince will ride on a white horse. Go with the flow and do nothing - stay alone for the rest of your life. If a woman tells everyone about her dreams every day, but behaves as usual, the man himself will not appear. You need to start acting here and now: do anything, just do not stay in place. To change your life, you need to constantly go towards your goal, not be afraid of new things, make new friends and try to always be positive.
7. You can’t feel sorry for yourself, drive into depression, constantly thinking about your meaningless life. This is reflected not only in the behavior, but also in the appearance of the girl.

Get to know a man

How to look for a man

If a woman is wondering how and where to find a worthy partner, she must clearly understand why she needs him. The next steps will depend on the answer to this question.

1. A woman with a child after 30 leaves the house for the purpose of dating only once or twice every few weeks. This is too little - you need one or two attempts a day to have a real chance of dating.
2. It is necessary to draw up your plan, where all the moments will be described: when and where you need to go in order to meet a man. But one plan is not enough - you need to start implementing it as soon as possible.
3. You can throw a party for your friends and arrange in advance that they all invite someone with them.
4. There are many services on the Internet on this topic: social networks, dating sites, forums. You just need to take the time to compile your profile and make it original and noticeable. You should learn how to weed out suspicious profiles so as not to run into scammers.
5. Gym - perfect place to find a husband. You can just go to the man you like and ask him for advice.
6. Sign up for courses that men like, like rock climbing or driving school.
7. Pay attention to unmarried colleagues or find another, more promising job in this regard.
8. No need to turn down wedding or birthday invitations.
9. Take a closer look at an unmarried neighbor who has been showing signs of attention for a long time.

The creation of a new image plays an important role, because beautiful appearance- bait for any man. A woman should always be tastefully dressed, be attractive and light. A dark circles under the eyes of sleepless nights unlikely to attract the opposite sex.

In search Serious relationships nothing vulgar or flashy should be worn. You need to look so that it is clear that a woman is looking for a husband, and not sexual partner for one night.

If a woman for ...

IN modern world unmarried 30-year-old ladies are no longer perceived as "old maids". Most of them are busy building a career and personal growth. Chase after material well-being and pushes the issue of creating a family into the background. They do not have a great desire to remain single for the rest of their lives, but there is simply no time for dating. In addition, the social circle narrows greatly over the years, and the surrounding men are not at all suitable for the role of a life partner.

In youth, it may seem that 35-40 years old is old age, and a woman can only fulfill her household and family duties. And if she still hasn’t managed to start a family, then the search for a normal man remains a mystery at all: in night club you won’t go anymore, and all the acquaintances are a few friends and work colleagues. You should not think that life is over at 40, because a woman at this age is smart enough not to believe in fairy tales, she is quite pretty and knows how to emphasize her dignity. Even if the man you meet is far from perfect, you should pay attention to him. An experienced lady knows that princes do not exist, but there is something good in everyone.

A single woman after 50 thinks that life is passing by. Some of them have never had a family, others have been divorced for a long time, and the children have been living separately for a long time, someone's spouse has already died. It is important to understand that life can be changed at any age. For adult ladies, respect and mutual understanding, protection, support and trust are important. The main goal of marriage after 50 is to get rid of loneliness, and there are fewer requirements for a potential husband than in youth.

With the ability to always be yourself, you can find a man at any age. It is important to remember that men like positive women. And life experience and a real outlook on life can be a great addition to finding your soul mate.

And some secrets...

The story of one of our readers Irina Volodina:

I was especially depressed by the eyes, surrounded by large wrinkles, plus dark circles and swelling. How to remove wrinkles and bags under the eyes completely? How to deal with swelling and redness?But nothing ages or rejuvenates a person like his eyes.

But how do you rejuvenate them? Plastic surgery? Learned - not less than 5 thousand dollars. Hardware procedures - photorejuvenation, gas-liquid peeling, radiolifting, laser facelift? A little more affordable - the course costs 1.5-2 thousand dollars. And when to find the time for all this? Yes, it's still expensive. Especially now. So for myself I chose a different way ...

Women are hard to find a good man but in truth it's not easy for a man to find good woman. This article is written by a man for almost desperate women who are sincerely looking for good partner, but find only losers.

Steps

Be yourself. When you get to know someone, you may be tempted to show off your better side. There is nothing wrong with trying to produce good impression, but it's important not to get carried away, because otherwise, trying to seem like someone you're not will alienate a man. This also applies to myths about sexy clothes and constant flirting. If you don't respect your body, you'll only attract men who don't respect you and your body just the same, and it's just hard for a good man to take you seriously. Be yourself and men will respect you.

Live life to the fullest. Not healthy relationships, built on the overdependence of one partner on another and obsession, are often obtained as a result of your desperate need to have a man by your side who will fill the gaps in your life. If you have low self-esteem, work on yourself, and over time this will change. Achieve your goals, make time for your hobbies, live interesting life, which will not be limited to relationships with the opposite sex. Do not try to hide shyness under external unavailability. Learn to build relationships with different people and trust them, and then you will be able to share something not only with your man, but also with your friends. But above all, trust yourself. If you don't trust yourself, you won't be able to trust your man either.

Be calm and confident. Men do not like it when their girlfriends act too intrusively, jealously, try to control everything, want to spend all the time together and throw tantrums. Learn to be calm about everything and enjoy life. Everyone has something from time to time, so do not demand to yourself heightened attention. The presence of a woman who makes life harder, not more pleasant, will lead to a loss of interest on the part of a man. If, after a hard day, you are next to a man to support him and calm him down, you will win his favor, and he will reciprocate. Remember that all men, especially those who are considered to be good, look for a woman next to whom he is calm, and avoid those who make them nervous.

Be aware of the difference in perception. Men often do not understand non-verbal cues women. Do not be offended by this - men are simply arranged that way. A man perceives a woman's smile only as a sign that she may like him; he is afraid of accusations of narcissism, and therefore cannot perceive these gestures in any other way. Gradually give him more clear signs attention: touch his hand, wink, play a good-natured joke on him, do something else playful and cute, and if you already know him well, you can even look for places where he tickles. Don't be afraid to tease him about the little things - women who think their men are perfect are often seen as weak. Flirting will not only allow you to show a man that you are ready for a closer relationship, but also help a man to start taking the initiative himself. Do not forget to consider the reaction of a man to all your actions.

Take a look at yourself. The results of psychological research suggest that people are looking for partners to fill their spiritual emptiness. Sometimes emptiness turns out to be unhealthy: a woman may look for a man solely for seduction, in order to feel desired and draw attention to herself. Think about why you need a man so much, and be honest with yourself. Talk to a psychologist about this if you feel the need. woman with bunch psychological problems is able to attract only a man who also has a lot of psychological problems, and no normal man wants to deal with a woman with a lot of internal problems. To build strong relationship With the right man, make sure your state of mind in order.

Don't play games. Nobody likes people people who play with the feelings of others. This is a scam and will hurt anyone who trusts you. Always be sincere, do not play games, and men will respect you, and someone may want a relationship with you. If you like a guy, don't push him away or be cold to him. Tell him about your feelings. Yes, some men like to be hunters, but all decent men will respect you and your feelings, so if you want to be left alone, they will not insist. Remember that men only understand everything literally: If you act like you don't like a guy, he will think you don't like him.

Respect the man. This is the most important principle. Men do not tolerate women who discount their masculinity, so any self-respecting man will rush to part with such a woman. Don't be afraid to help a man boost his confidence. Let's reveal a little secret: men can feel vulnerable in the same way as women. In the presence of family members or with his friends, do not miss the opportunity to emphasize the masculinity of your chosen one. This will help you win his respect and love.

Don't be afraid to take the initiative. A good man does not feel a desperate need just for a woman - he dreams of finding a suitable match for himself, that is, a really good woman. At a minimum, he will be happy with compliments on his appearance. But remember that compliments are usually appropriate only between acquaintances; if the relationship between two people is closer, people feel more comfortable and can afford to tease or make fun of each other without feeling embarrassed. It is these relationships that develop between brothers and sisters, parents and children, and a harmonious couple will also have such relationships - they love to joke, flirt with each other and laugh together. A woman who constantly compliments may seem boring, and her behavior will be perceived as a desperate attempt to please. Even if it is unacceptable for you to ask a man on a date, you can always look for a way to be with him and spend time with him. But do not overdo it: if he did not show you signs of attention before, your careful attempts to arrange a meeting that he did not plan may give you away, and then you will not look so attractive in his eyes. First, win his favor.

Respect yourself. If you say no, he should stop. If he doesn't stop, leave. You shouldn't feel uncomfortable when you say no. Don't try to keep a man by compromising your beliefs. If you have to break your principles for the sake of his society, then either he is not worthy of you, or he is a good person, but not right for you (for example, he is ready to go into a physical relationship and speaks honestly about it, but you are looking first of all intimacy). However, feel free to say yes. If you think this is the right time, trust that this is the way it should be, and don't worry about wasting yourself. You respect yourself, and if he feels it, he will want to be with you. A man who does not respect you in the morning has not respected you before, and a man who is not ready to accept your desire to take your time is too impatient and will not make a good partner. In both cases, look elsewhere.

Follow the golden rule. Demand from yourself the same thing that you want to demand from the rest, including your man. Real men notice when someone does this, but prefer not to talk about it. For example, if he says that he has a girlfriend, but the relationship does not work out, stop - this can be a test, so be firm and stop talking (this is how it works Golden Rule). Or another example: if you are trying to find places on his body where he tickles, do not be offended if he tries to do the same to you. Do not complain to him about men and do not declare that you do not need anyone, unless you want him to answer you in the same way. Show respect for men, behave with dignity and nobility. People around you will notice this, and if they know that you are looking for a good man, but while you have no one, they may introduce you to someone.

Don't be too intrusive. In other words, don't smother him with your love and don't spend all your time with him. He also needs his space, and it is important for him to know that he can go somewhere without you. And, most importantly, he needs to know that you have your own life.

Read something on this subject. If you want to learn more about how to meet your man, you may find this e-book helpful: www.howtogetaman.org
- The easiest way to get to know someone is through mutual friends or acquaintances or on the basis of a common hobby, but you should not find new hobbies for yourself just to get acquainted with them with someone. If you meet a man at a bar, he may turn out to be a drinker. If you meet him in a church, he will be religious. The first impression is very great importance, so if his first impression of you is the image of an eternal party girl, it will be difficult for you to change anything in his perception later. If you seem nervous or inclined to play with human feelings, it will also be difficult for you to get rid of this image.
- Remember the golden rule. If you want him to do something, you must be willing to do it yourself. Do you want him to ask you out on a date, take you somewhere, or do something else for you? You must sincerely want to do the same for him. Don't expect him to always do everything first. A real man respects a woman who demands the same from herself as from her partner.
- Men feel when communication in the office becomes impersonal and cold. But you can fix the situation by becoming sweet, outgoing, and charismatic. Light flirting you can dilute the boring office days, and it is quite possible that from time to time you will be flirted with by passing colleagues or even fans. Eat well, take care of yourself and exercise. Why not? Visit a beautician, work with a stylist if you want to look perfect.
Warnings
- Always give a man his personal space when he needs it - never get between a man and his friends, family responsibilities or a favorite hobby (for example, playing musical instrument in Group). Put him in front of a choice, and he will hate you for it, even if, given the choice, he would prefer you to the rest.
- remember, that interesting men looking for interesting women. Don't limit your life to a relationship with a man.

Good relationships are based on love, respect and good communication. Find good guy It's not always easy, especially if you've already been burned in bad relationships in the past. Take some time to understand your relationship expectations and relate them to the specific guy who can live up to them.

Steps

Relationships you need

Make a list of your values and desires. Think about what you value most and how you see a healthy relationship. What are the things you can't deal with? What is less important to you?

For example, if you want children, you need to look for a partner who wants them too. If you are a religious person, you will probably want to find someone who shares your beliefs.

Know yourself. Before jumping into a new relationship, take some time to introspect. Think about where you came from and where you are going. This is especially true of your behavior in relationships. If you know that you are jealous or insecure, try to understand why this is happening. What lessons learned from previous relationships can you apply to new ones?

Be yourself. To find the right partner you need to be yourself. There is nothing good in impersonating someone else: it will not bear any fruit and will only make matters worse. The further the relationship develops, the more tiresome and dishonest your pretense will be. Be yourself in communication with a potential lover. If he likes you for who you are, this relationship can become successful.

Stay away from unhealthy relationships. Sometimes relationships are toxic, that is, they have a negative effect on you. Negative influence. This is a relationship with a person who manipulates you, physically or mentally humiliates you, controls you, is jealous, constantly angry or seeks to isolate you from everyone. Relationships like these will keep you from flourishing or being happy. They will only destroy your self-respect.
- A good guy will never make you afraid, stressed or tense. Rather, he will try to alleviate these feelings.
Be open to dating. You never know where you will meet your fate, so be open and friendly with people. Strike up a conversation with the guy you always see on your way to work, or talk to a handsome stranger at the bookstore.

Try online dating. There are various dating sites on the Internet that have already helped many people find each other. Searching for a partner on the Internet is no longer as embarrassing as it was thought a few years ago, so consider this option as another way to expand the circle of potential partners.

Successful first date

Take care of yourself. Show that this relationship is important to you by paying attention to your appearance and date outfit. You don't have to wear something that makes you feel uncomfortable, but it should show that you've put in the effort to look good on the first date. If your appearance exudes self-confidence, your partner is more likely to perceive you in a similar way.

Send positive signals through your body language. Non-verbal communication can express as much as words. On a first date, positive body language will show your partner that you're interested. Here are some non-verbal cues to help you:

Chat with each other like friends. Foundation stone long term relationship is friendship. If you get to know each other well as friends, you can build good foundation For strong relationship. Even if you met for the first time, for example, on a first date, communicate as friends and share interesting stories About Me.

If your potential boyfriend shows interest in you by asking questions and listening carefully, that's a good sign.

Don't cheat with judgments. Surely your partner is as nervous as you are, and can make a couple of mistakes. If they're not inappropriate (for example, if he's been making racist jokes all evening), then consider giving him a second chance.

Exploring a Potential Boyfriend

Think again about your first impression of this guy. The success of a relationship often depends on the first impression, even if you deliberately do not attach importance to it. When we meet a new person, especially a potential partner, we evaluate this initial interaction in a positive or negative way. If we like a person, most likely, we will want to know more information about him. If not, we may decide that this relationship is not worth the effort.

See how he communicates with his friends. So you can see how he behaves when he does not feel any tension. If you just met, he may not open up to you 100%. On the other hand, his friends have known him for many years and he will be more relaxed around them. Get an idea of how your potential boyfriend communicates with others.

See how he interacts with other women. Your potential boyfriend should treat everyone with respect, and if he shows it to other women, this is a good sign.

See how he communicates with strangers. How a person behaves in public is a good indicator of how they will behave towards you. Does he speak rudely to the wait staff? Is he helping someone find a missing dog? All this will help you get an idea of the person.

Hear what your family and friends think of him. When a guy meets your family or friends, they have a certain impression of him. This will help you get an outside perspective. If you trust your family's opinion, ask them what they think of your boyfriend. Do they see the same positive traits what do you see?

Friends, this is not an applied article. There are no specifics here step by step instructions how to find happiness. The article is the author's reflections without pretensions to originality and genius. Low expectations are the key to restful sleep. :)

Introduction

My friends were divided into two camps: while some willingly share their experience and give wise advice about how to get married, others sigh that in this world there is no normal men.

You know, if I personally did not know these comprehensively beautiful girls from the disappointed group, I could safely assume that they overestimate their price or leave no chance for normal guys. But it seems to be something else.

Maybe some girls just tend to notice the wrong men? We fall in love with the wrong people, and then we ourselves suffer and cry at night. Yes, of course, in life there are not the most simple situations. But, to be honest, there is no such thing that someone alone is to blame.

Where to find a normal guy

Well, okay, one day you took and grew. I understood and accepted that you like pompous assholes. But you get tired of it too. Any drama, even the most ornate one, sometimes gets overwhelmed, and you want something normal and real. And here a reasonable question arises: where and how to find a normal guy?

If there were any magical place, a kind of place where all normal men were hidden, then, probably, the girls would have already lined up worse than behind clothes new collection H&M with some famous designer. Girls who graduated from guru courses women's practices Pavel Rakov, they would definitely have been brought there on special buses, and all broken hearts sent to compulsory rehabilitation.

Alas, there is no such place of concentrated male power. Or, I don't know about it. It is clear that all key life meetings always occur completely by chance and unpredictably. But here is a simple applied question: is it possible to artificially increase this probability?

girlish thoughts out loud

I went to the people (on Telegram) and wrote to my friends asking them to tell me where they meet and are looking for non-random connections. The reaction of the girls was funny: from “Well, we talked normally, An, what are you starting” to “Very complex issue. I've never met a normal person." Summed up a friend who wrote: “Oh, Anh, normal guys- an endangered species".

Among the popular answers to the question of where to meet, if you are very lucky, there were university, work, interest clubs, car services, sport sections, friendly parties, bars and cafes. One friend suggested that Romeo could be safely guarded at some fashionable intellectual parties, although the girl herself admitted that she “isn’t working yet.”

Places vs life hacks

So, what can help meet a normal dude?

1. Dream of meeting HIM. Be disappointed and don't expect anything

It is very important to live with the idea that somewhere in this wide world there is always HE, with whom you have fun, comfortable, free and cool, like with friends. At the same time, there is no idealization of the world. We all always fall in love with the wrong people, and many girls are more afraid of falling in love than guys. Everything in life comes when you let go. You will be disappointed in everything and stupidly score, you do not expect anything.

Usually they shoot just the most amazing stories when I'm not even sure that he will call back after a date.

In general, you just need to believe that one day you will meet someone with whom you can be yourself. Someone who loves your friends. The one with whom next to breathe easily. And if you have already met, he will not let you leave (read: do not let him go for anything). At the same time, a special emphasis is placed on the fact that it is desirable to be disappointed in everything before the cherished meeting and not to wait. Just live, and there, you see, the prince is on the horizon.

2. Visualize

gifphy.com

If you don't know where are you going, you might end up somewhere else.

The main idea: in order to find something, you need to clearly know what we are actually looking for. They say that visualization is a really working thing.

So, girls, you need to properly tune in to the right Zen and imagine who you want to be with, what you want in the end from him. Representing everything important qualities narrowed, but, most importantly, not from the opposite, that is, without any “not” particles. For example, if you want a tall brunette, ask for a tall brunette, and not "not a blonde of medium height, as long as it is not very short." Only real qualities, without negativity and denial. And then you write all this on a piece of paper and send a message to the Universe, which will definitely not let you down. Yes, she may need some time to find her dream boyfriend. But Moscow, you know, was not built all at once.

Of the important: do not get confused in the testimony, girls! We ask the same thing, we say it out loud, otherwise the Universe will get confused.

Another life hack: sometimes it's good to ask your friends to introduce you to someone, you know, to test the spell. The main thing is not girlfriends: it does not work. It's the guy friends.

3. Don't be afraid to take the first step

It's funny that there are two diametrically opposed opinions on this matter. One friend (married, raising a son) has long been calling on everyone and me to score on social conventions and says that, in fact, in her life situation She took the first step, and she does not regret anything. Another girlfriend (not married, no boyfriend) recently came to the conclusion that all her first steps did not lead to anything good.

I do not have a personal record of significant first steps to judge their success. But, I confess, I myself have always been afraid to take the first step. It seemed that if the guy does not do it himself, then, probably, he does not need to. And why should I offer something that he potentially does not need? My mother always told me: “Never ask for anything, everyone will come and give it themselves.” So: they won't.

Girls, maybe you, like me, live with the philosophy of a proud heron, and normal guys don’t even catch up that we might like them?

4. Register already on Tinder

Do not forget that many guys are just as tormented by the question: where to find normal girl? And as my boyfriend stats show, a lot of the normal dudes sign up for general fun. But what if you are the one with whom not only fun, but also happily ever after?

And so you dreamed, visualized, realized that the first step is not dumb. Come on, act! Forward to the barricades!

And yes, I wouldn’t believe it myself if the number of stories “met on Tinder - happy together for 2, 3, x years” among my own acquaintances did not grow exponentially. Important: Tinder is an example of an easy way to screw up dates. It doesn't matter where you find them, it matters that you go to them at all.

A reasonable question: can something normal come out of dating on the Internet? I will answer with the words of the American uncle of my friend Christina, who recently wrote on my Facebook wall and instantly fell in love with my friends: