Difficult children: who are they, the reasons for their appearance. A difficult child is a special child

Domestic psychologists and many modern foreign scientists deny the decisive influence on the behavior of difficult children of the genetic factor, the hereditary burden of their consciousness and actions. There are, of course, natural prerequisites for certain features of the psyche. But they do not act directly, but through social factors. Meanwhile, many teachers believe that this is not so. They associate the appearance of difficult children with heredity. Such statements testify to the insufficient pedagogical literacy and skill of such teachers, unwillingness to seriously understand the problem and spend more time on a difficult student.

The main reasons for the difficulties in educating individual schoolchildren are in the wrong relationships in the family, in school miscalculations, isolation from comrades, environmental maladjustment in general, the desire to assert oneself in any way and in any small group. Often there is a combination, a complex of all these causes. Indeed, it often happens that a student does not study well because of troubles in the family, and this causes him to be neglected by teachers and classmates. Such an environment leads to undesirable changes in the mind and behavior of such a student.

Here I will not indicate all the reasons that cause difficulties in education. It is more useful to concretize what has been said above when analyzing certain categories of difficult adolescents.

2.2 Deviant behavior as one of the main distinguishing features of the personality of a difficult teenager.

Deviant behavior, deviance (lat. deviatio - deviation) is:

1. 
   An act, actions of a person that do not correspond to officially established or actually established in a given society (social group) norms and expectations;
2. 
   A social phenomenon expressed in relatively massive and stable forms of human activity that do not correspond to officially established or actually established norms and expectations in a given society. 2

The main forms of deviant behavior include alcoholism, prostitution, drug addiction, suicide, and crime.

Adolescence in general, and early adolescence in particular, is a group increased risk. Why?

First, the internal difficulties of the transitional age affect. Secondly, the borderline and uncertainty of the social position of youth. Thirdly, the contradictions caused by the restructuring of organisms social control: children's forms of control based on observance of external norms and obedience to adults no longer work, and adult methods that involve conscious discipline and self-control have not yet taken shape or have not strengthened. How does this manifest itself in specific phenomena that teachers and parents have to face?

Alcohol abuse. This danger is widespread among us. According to the survey, 75% of adolescents aged 13-14 years old and 95% of those aged 17-18 years old consumed alcohol. This, of course, is not drunkenness, but what earlier child joins alcohol, the stronger and more stable will be his need for it.

Alcoholism is often rooted in internal conflict, caused by the desire of a teenager to overcome her feelings of addiction. If the severity of upbringing and the lack of emotional warmth in early childhood are then replaced by an attitude towards independence and personal achievement, it is difficult for a person to combine these contradictory attitudes. What contributes to the alcoholization of adolescents and young men? When drinking, a teenager seeks to extinguish his characteristic state of anxiety and, at the same time, to get rid of excessive self-control and shyness. Important role also play the desire for experimentation and especially the norms of the youthful subculture, in which drinking is traditionally considered one of the signs of masculinity and adulthood. And it goes without saying that the negative example of parents works.

Drug use. Like drunkenness, teenage drug addiction is associated with mental experimentation, the search for new, unusual sensations and experiences. According to the observations of narcologists, two-thirds of young people take drugs for the first time out of curiosity, a desire to find out what is "out there", beyond the forbidden. Sometimes the first dose is imposed by deception, under the guise of a cigarette or drink. At the same time, this is a group phenomenon associated with imitation of elders and the influence of the group. Up to 90% of drug addicts start using drugs in the companies of peers who gather in certain places.

More precisely, the distribution can be traced according to the data of a sociological survey.

Reasons why young people use drugs (in %) 3

1	Influenced by other people, companies	85,5
2	Due to alcohol consumption	7,6
3	From idleness, lack of employment	57,7
4	From ignorance of all the consequences of drug use	15,7
5	Because of the pursuit of pleasure	59,2
6	Desire to look like an adult	23,3
7	To forget the bad	35,1
8	No adult supervision	13,8
9	For the sake of interest in the "forbidden fruit"	54,1
10	From the inability to control yourself	22,6
11	under duress	7,9
12	To become "their"	43,2

Aggressive behavior. Cruelty and aggressiveness have always been characteristic features of the group behavior of adolescents and young men. This is a fierce intra-group rivalry, a struggle for power, a struggle (often without rules) for spheres of influence between different groups teenagers, and the so-called "unmotivated aggression", often directed at completely innocent, strangers.

“Kharkiv, factory district, a quarter of typical five-story buildings. In one of these houses, right on the landing, a company of seventeen-year-old boys kicked and beat a young engineer to death with sticks. The reason was insignificant: someone said something wrong to someone ... "4

Teenage aggression is most often the result of general anger and low self-esteem as a result of experienced life failures and injustices (left by father, bad marks at school, expelled from the sports section, etc.). Sophisticated cruelty is also often shown by victims of overprotection, spoiled sissies who did not have the opportunity to freely experiment and be responsible for their actions in childhood; cruelty for them is a kind of fusion of revenge, self-affirmation and at the same time self-examination: everyone considers me weak, but I can do anything! Teenage and youthful acts of vandalism and cruelty, as a rule, are committed together, in a group. At the same time, the role of each individual is, as it were, erased, personal moral responsibility is eliminated (“What about me? I am like everyone else!”). Jointly committed antisocial actions strengthen the feeling of group solidarity, which at the moment of action reaches a state of euphoria, which later, when the excitement passes, the adolescents themselves cannot explain in any way.

Suicidal behavior. The problem of juvenile suicide has been taboo for many years. Therefore, two erroneous opinions are common:

1. 
   That juvenile suicides, in particular, are committed only by mentally ill, abnormal people;
2. 
   What exactly adolescence, due to its crisis, almost psycho-pathological nature, gives the maximum percentage of suicides.

Adolescents are much more likely than adults to experience the so-called "Werther effect" - suicide under the influence of someone else's example (at one time, the publication of Goethe's "Werther" caused a wave of suicides among German youth). It should be borne in mind that the number of suicide attempts many times exceeds the number of suicides carried out. Among adolescents, 32% of suicide attempts occur at 17-year-olds, 31% at 16-year-olds, 21% at 15-year-olds, 12% at 14-year-olds, and 4% at 12-13-year-olds. Boys commit suicide at least twice as often as girls; although girls make attempts much more often, many of them are demonstrative in nature. Unsuccessful suicide attempts are mostly not repeated.

In 9 cases out of 10, juvenile suicide attempts are not a desire to commit suicide, but a cry for help. Teenagers and young men often talk about such desires and warn in advance; 80% of suicide attempts are made at home, during the day or evening, when someone can intervene. Many of them are frankly demonstrative, addressed to someone specific, sometimes you can even talk about suicidal blackmail. Among the motives that explain suicide attempts, adolescents themselves point to various ways to influence other people in this way: “let the person know how desperate you are”, “show how you love another”, “find out if the other really loves you” , "influence the other so that he changes his mind" (naturally, each victim of suicide may have several motives).

No matter how different forms of deviant behavior, they are interconnected. Drunkenness, drug use, aggressiveness and illegal behavior form a single block, so that the involvement of a boy or girl in one type of deviant activity increases the likelihood of involvement in another as well. To some extent, social factors contributing to deviant behavior also coincide (school difficulties, traumatic life events, the influence of a deviant group of adolescents). Deviant behavior at the beginning is always unmotivated. A teenager, as a rule, wants to meet the requirements of society, but for some reason ( social conditions, conflicting expectations of others, lack of material resources, poor command of normal ways of social adaptation and / or overcoming difficulties) he cannot do this. This is reflected in his self-consciousness and pushes him to search in other directions.

The most important factor such development - deviant peers. The presence of a deviant group:

Facilitates the commission of deviant actions if the teenager is internally ready for them;

Provides psychological support and encouragement for participating in such activities;

Reduces the effectiveness of personal and social control mechanisms that could slow down the manifestation deviant tendencies. This creates a vicious circle.

Deviant acts increase the attractiveness of the adolescent who commits them to others who adopt such a style of behavior; by committing anti-normative acts, a teenager attracts attention, interest, etc. At the same time, deviant actions increase the teenager's need for the social approval of the group, especially if he grew up in a normal environment where such actions are condemned. Finally, deviant actions cause a negative attitude on the part of the “normal”, up to and including exclusion. deviant teenager from communicating with them. This social alienation contributes to the activation of the adolescent's communication with the deviant environment, reduces the possibility of social control and contributes to the further strengthening of deviant behavior and inclination to it. As a result, deviant actions from unmotivated become motivated.

So, having briefly described what is meant by deviant behavior, it is worth moving on to considering the causes of its causes and ways to deal with it.

Soviet psychologists and many modern foreign scientists deny the decisive influence on the behavior of "difficult" children of the genetic factor, the hereditary burden of their consciousness and actions. There are, of course, natural prerequisites for certain features of the psyche. But they do not act directly, but through social factors. Meanwhile, a considerable number of teachers believe that this is not so. They associate the appearance of "difficult" children with bad heredity. Such statements testify to the insufficient pedagogical literacy and skill of such teachers, their unwillingness to seriously understand and spend more time on a “difficult” student.

The main reasons for the difficulties in educating individual schoolchildren are in the wrong relationships in the family, in school miscalculations, isolation from comrades, environmental maladjustment in general, the desire to assert oneself in any way and in any small group. Often there is a combination, a complex of all these causes. Indeed, it often happens that a student does not study well because of troubles in the family, and this causes him to be neglected by teachers and classmates. Such an environment leads to the most undesirable changes in the mind and behavior of such a student.

Here we will not indicate all the reasons that cause difficulties in education. It is more useful to concretize what has been said above when analyzing certain categories of "difficult" students.

And parents are worried at what age the first difficulties in raising children arise and how to cope with them ...

Difficult children are really characterized by bad behavior and inability to control themselves, - says psychologist Marianna Vinokurova. - They are not responsible for their actions, often committing rash and impulsive acts, easily excitable and quick-tempered, it is rather difficult to make contact with adults, not even recognizing obvious authorities. In addition, difficult children are often distinguished by their impudence, cruelty and vindictiveness. They often provoke fights, not wanting to make concessions or simply trying to demonstrate their superiority over weaker peers.

Psychologists have long noticed that "difficult children" did not receive the main thing in early childhood - sincere love and attention from adults. Even those of them who were born and grew up in outwardly prosperous families, were well-dressed and well-fed, had expensive toys, experiencing a lack of communication with their parents, grew up sharp, impulsive, rude, quarrelsome, treated others with distrust. IN adolescence it is the children of this “category” who run away from home more often than others, join the “ bad companies”, are registered in the children's room of the police. After some time, a return to a normal value system for some of them becomes almost impossible.

What kind of children are called "difficult"?

those who experience difficulties in communicating with peers and adults;

children with inadequate manifestations of emotions: too violent or, on the contrary, apathetic;

weak-willed, with shortcomings of strong-willed qualities, undisciplined;

with delays in mental and mental development.

Expert opinion: Difficult child- not a congenital personality defect, but the result wrong upbringing. In other words, it is the adults who, through their ill-considered actions, have formed antisocial behavior in children are responsible for this.

Difficult are not born

The concept of "difficult children" is discussed at every turn. One has only to listen: on the playground, on television, on parent meetings, in the family. Parents, teachers and especially psychologists.

It is believed that difficult children are children with a mental disorder. Babies are born healthy. But due to circumstances related to living conditions and improper upbringing, in kindergarten or in primary school, they begin to withdraw into themselves, move away from their parents, educators and teachers. Often, these children begin to develop attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, accompanied by inattention, impulsivity, inability to concentrate, as well as recurring tantrums and bouts of anger. All this leads to problems at school, misunderstanding on the part of parents and conflicts with teachers. Therefore, the work of a psychologist with difficult children is very important.

Difficult children may have various difficulties, some experience communication problems, some are characterized by increased excitability and even aggressiveness, some, on the contrary, are passive, weak-willed and weak-willed. Some are mentally behind their peers.

Raising difficult children is different than normal. Teenagers themselves, with their rude behavior, impede a full-fledged education. These kids stand out individual characteristics which can often only be taken into account by a special school for difficult children.

Teachers of a regular school simply cannot cope with obvious disrespect for themselves, open hatred of learning, constant conflicts in the classroom that are provoked by reckless ill-mannered children. And as a result, many of these children subsequently turn to delinquency, alcoholism or drug addiction, ruining their own lives. Most often, difficult children often do not differ in special mental faculties have problems mastering even the most elementary concepts and rules.

They need special help

Some parents, not wanting to "open" their eyes to the situation, say: "Our love, upbringing and attention will help the child become like everyone else." Yes, love does wonders sometimes. But to believe that education and special attention from parents alone can help in this situation is a mistake.

Svetlana Sofronova, pediatrician:

Very often, mental disorders in children in adolescence are the result of head injuries, severe neuroinfections that significantly weaken the child's immunity, or minimal brain dysfunction. The consequences of alcohol intoxication of the fetus during pregnancy may affect. So here's one of those possible consequences irresponsible behavior of the expectant mother, who abused alcohol while in position, is precisely the mental retardation of the child and mental problems that begin to manifest themselves in adolescence against the background of hormonal changes in the body. Therefore, if parents begin to notice signs of a mental disorder in a child, that his behavior changes, he ceases to control his own emotions, and all this is accompanied by a decrease in school performance, a neurologist or a child psychiatrist urgently needs to run. Help for difficult children should be timely. After a thorough examination, the specialist will be able to either confirm or refute the fears of the parents. He will also prescribe treatment, without which all pedagogical methods of influencing such a child will not give any result.

Difficult kids or difficult parents?

Sometimes, after examination, it turns out that the child has no pathology, and his bad behavior is only the result of improper upbringing and insufficient attention from parents. The psychologist claims that most often one of the main reasons is the unfavorable microclimate in the family, the constant quarrels of parents who cannot agree on the upbringing of the child, putting forward absolutely opposite demands.

Let's say mom wants to raise an economist, and dad wants to raise a football player. And for constant swearing, it doesn’t even occur to anyone that the child is fond of music, but cannot realize his talent, is afraid of his parents and, in addition, feels guilty for all the troubles. It's crumbling before his eyes own family, breaks it down personal life, and naturally, all this is reflected in his behavior and academic performance.

And sometimes the cause of bad behavior is ... teachers who initially put forward excessive demands on the child, constantly give bad grades and thereby beat off all cravings for learning. Even motivating this by the fact that the child can do better, he is simply lazy, and he needs to be pushed, to awaken excitement, “good” anger.

- Yes, some children are encouraged by this, but for those who are especially sensitive, such a failure at the very beginning of their studies turns out to be fatal. The child begins to look for other areas of application of his energy. It’s good if he hits the sport, but often such children get into bad company, start smoking, drinking alcohol, drugs, disappearing from home. And all because of the wrong actions of adults who failed to find an approach to the delicate and vulnerable children's soul in time.

PSYCHOLOGIST'S ADVICE

How to deal with a special child

Do not talk to the child in an orderly tone, because he will perceive any instruction as pressure. Try to talk to him and lead him to make the right decision on his own.

Use the strengths of his personality to speak words of praise and support more often. Don't focus on negative qualities. Encourage to show the best traits of character. Soon behavior will begin to change for the better.

Remain calm and friendly, don't get carried away and don't be too strict. The child will not immediately rebuild, many actions will be given to him with difficulty, at least at first. Be patient.

Show your child that you believe in him. Many special children eventually form a complex: in the children's team they are most often declared the perpetrators of the incidents, even if they were not the instigators. Do not continue this vicious practice.

Refuse corporal punishment: be wise and flexible.

Do not threaten the child: this will only increase the confrontation. Speaking to him in a tone of prohibitions and threats will provoke his defiance. Try to negotiate.

Try to understand the reasons for his anger in order to further help him cope with negative emotions.

MINISTRY OF EDUCATION AND SCIENCE OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION

STATE EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTION OF HIGHER PROFESSIONAL EDUCATION "BARNAUL STATE PEDAGOGICAL UNIVERSITY"

Faculty of Physical Education

Department of Psychology

Difficult children: who are they, the reasons for their appearance

(Course work)

Is done by a student

________________

(signature)

Scientific director

____________________

(signature)

Barnaul 2006

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTERI . Who are "difficult children" and how they become so.

1.1. Deviant and delinquent behavior.

1.2. Typification of "difficult" children and adolescents.

1.3. The main "family" causes of difficult behavior.

CHAPTERII

2.1. " Difficult children” in school and educational activities.

2.2. "Difficult children" in society.

CONCLUSION

LIST OF SOURCES AND LITERATURE USED

INTRODUCTION

Someone, sometime, must answer

Revealing the truth, revealing the truth,

What are difficult children?

The eternal question and sick as an abscess.

Here he sits in front of us, look,

Shriveled like a spring, he despaired,

Like a wall with no doors and no windows.

Here are the main truths:

Late noticed ... late taken into account ...

No! Difficult children are not born!

They just didn't get help.

(S. Davidovich) 1

The expression "difficult children" is very common in modern scientific and everyday life, however, neither pedagogy nor psychology can give an unambiguous definition of this concept.

In order to consider its content, let us turn to concepts that can complement its understanding. "Difficult children" or "children with deviant behavior" are a separate group of society, whose norms differ from those of the rest of society. There are also other separate groups in society. For example, the so-called type of “normative personality” is people whose character and behavior traits best express a given culture of society, are the ideal of the human personality of the culture of society. Or "modal personality" - people whose behavior does not contradict the values ​​of society 2 . In this list, “difficult children” occupy the least honorable place, being the most disadvantaged group for society.

For the first time the concept of "difficult children" appeared in the pre-war period and almost immediately became widespread. However, it arose not in science, but in everyday life. For some time, this definition disappeared, and in the 50s-60s it reappeared. Currently, this term exists in the scientific dictionary of pedagogy and psychology. But even today there is a discussion among scientists about the appropriateness of its use. Is this term correct? Some scholars consider it offensive, especially in communication with the child himself or his parents. Therefore, modern pedagogy tries to use the words “difficult children”, “difficult child” as rarely as possible, replacing them with the words “children at risk”, “pedagogically neglected children”, “socially neglected children” or “children of non-standard behavior”, or even completely forbids.

If we take into account the fact that each person at a certain stage of his development is forced to overcome internal age-related crises, then all children can be called difficult at some point. Therefore, this term is applied only to those children whose problems never stop and do not depend on age.

This term can also be found in foreign psychology, only there it is replaced by the name “students with problems”.

However, no matter how scientists call this category of children, it continues to exist in our society, moreover, it brings problems to our society, and, unfortunately, it does not become smaller from year to year. The fact that “difficult children” exist is recognized by everyone without exception, but in addition to his recognition, we must also be aware that we must live side by side with such children, educate them, and prepare them for a future life in society.

The issues of raising "difficult children" are now riveted especially close attention of the public, scientists, teachers. Newspapers and magazines are full of headlines and entire editorial headings: “Steps in School Reform”, “Dysfunctional Families: Social and Pedagogical Assistance”, “Features of Youth Subcultures and Their Influence on the Current Generation of Teenagers”, “Attention: Street Children”, etc. The problems of child prostitution, drug addiction, and lowering the age of criminals are being actively discussed. But this is in the press, on the Internet, on television, in the light of specially organized discussion "round tables". But what about in real life, among us? Who should be involved in the education of "difficult children" and how to do it? 3

The most eloquent attitude of society towards these problems can be seen if we evaluate the results of sociological surveys of passers-by on the street. Most of the "first comers" shrug their shoulders in bewilderment. What is there to ask? From their point of view, society has long had a well-established system for raising "difficult children" in specialized schools, vocational schools, labor camps and other institutions of this type. All this seems to be improved and updated from year to year. Why puzzle? What other problems could there be? And most likely, they will be those who know only by hearsay about the difficulties of upbringing, adolescent delinquents, the so-called “persons of deviant behavior”. Yes, they read or heard somewhere about rockers, punks, skinheads, metalheads. Yes, we met an unpleasant company at the entrance, headed by the neighbor Petka. But it is quite clear to them who and how should deal with "such individuals." And most often there is only one option for solving the problem of educating these teenagers: "there is only one place for such teenagers - prison."

However, will this always be the only and correct solution? 4

The object of study in this work will be modern society, namely children and adolescents of modern society.

The subject of consideration is the problems of society associated with "difficult" children.

The purpose of this work is to consider the problem of "difficult" children, to find out the reasons for their appearance, as well as to find possible ways out of situations that arise in "difficult" children or with "difficult" children. To achieve this goal, the author set the following tasks:

Determine the origin and modern understanding of the term "difficult children".

Consider the main types of "difficult" behavior of children and adolescents.

Analyze the reasons for this behavior.

To identify the most effective, in the opinion of modern teachers and psychologists, ways of working with children with "difficult" behavior.

To fulfill these tasks and the main goal, the work will consider research papers by various authors on this topic, data from newspapers and magazines, data from sociological surveys published in the media and on the Internet.

The work is based on the problematic principle: the 1st chapter examines various definitions of the concept of "difficult children", the classification of deviations from the norms in the behavior of children. The paragraphs are devoted to a detailed consideration of the concepts of "deviant" and "delinquent" behavior as a form of behavior of difficult children. The chapter also reveals the reasons for the appearance of "difficult" children and adolescents in our society. The paragraphs are devoted to the reasons that arise in the family, in various groups, in society as a whole. Chapter 2 is devoted to the specifics of working with children with "difficult" behavior and contains some practical data. The conclusion sums up the general result of the work and gives a conclusion about its results.

CHAPTERI . Who are "difficult children" and how they become so.

1.1. Deviant and delinquent behavior.

Based on the analysis of modern scientific and pedagogical literature, three essential features can be distinguished that make up the content of the concept of "Difficult children". The first sign is the presence of deviant behavior in children or adolescents 5 .

To characterize deviant behavior, special terms are used - "delinquency" and "deviance". Delinquent behavior is understood as a chain of misconduct, misdemeanors, petty offenses and crimes that are different from criminal ones, i.e. criminal offenses and serious offences.

Deviance is understood as a deviation from the norms accepted in society. The scope of this concept includes both delinquent and other violations of conduct. The main deviant behavior in society include crime, drug addiction, alcoholism, prostitution, suicide. Each form of deviation has its own specifics 6 .

Secondly, difficult schoolchildren are understood as such children and adolescents, violations, whose behavior is not easily corrected. Here it is necessary to distinguish between the concepts of "difficult children" and "pedagogically neglected children". The latter are not always difficult, and relatively easy to re-educate.

Difficult kids. Thirdly, they especially need an individual approach on the part of educators and the attention of a peer group 7 .

Childhood - preparation for adult life. It will be well organized, and then the person will grow up good; badly directed will always turn into a difficult fate. A difficult childhood is not always the worst. Bad childhood - homeless, unkind, in which the child is lost, like an unnecessary thing.

At first, the child becomes difficult. The difficult child is the one. Who is difficult. That is how you need to understand what is happening to him. It is difficult not only for adults, but first of all for yourself. A difficult child is suffering, rushing about in search of warmth and affection. Destitute and almost doomed. He feels it. All difficult children, as a rule, did not have a friendly, caring environment either in the family or at school. At first, difficulties with adaptation, lack of abilities, and then unwillingness to learn led these children to disorganization, violations of discipline.

It is difficult for the child. This is his unsatisfied need to be like everyone else, to be loved, desired, treated kindly. The fact that these children are rejected at home and in the classroom further alienates them from other children. Traditionally, the main criterion for classifying a child as difficult is, in the vast majority of cases, poor academic performance and indiscipline. This is a consequence of the difficult situation for the child in which he finds himself in the school team from the very beginning of his studies. The main thing here is the inner experiences of the child himself, his personal attitude towards the teacher, his classmates around him, and himself 8 .

The child becomes difficult, rightly notes Professor A.I. Kochetov, when there is a coincidence, the imposition of negative external influences, failures at school and pedagogical mistakes of teachers, the negative impact of family life and intra-family relations. In other words, the child drops out of the sphere of upbringing at once in many links and is in the zone of active negative influences 9 .

Difficult children usually include those children who are characterized by certain deviations in moral development, the presence of fixed negative forms of behavior, indiscipline. Difficult children study poorly, rarely and carelessly do homework, and often skip school. They misbehave in class and often fight. Many of them are repeaters. Their upbringing in the family is usually done little. They grow on their own. Often forced to steal, beg. Aggressive, embittered, practically familiar with the shadowy sides of life. They start smoking, drinking alcohol, and drugs early. Growing up, they stray into organized groups, commit thefts, robberies and even murders 10 . The behavior of children in such cases is characterized by the term "delinquent", which is a particularly severe form of deviation.

1.2. Typification of "difficult" children and adolescents.

Psychologists and educators have proposed several systems for typing difficult children. Almost all of them refer to children of a later age, when a difficult child becomes an antisocial teenager. One of the most developed systems belongs to Professor A.I. Kochetov. He identifies the following types of difficult children:

children with communication disorders

children with increased or decreased emotional reaction (with increased excitability, acute reaction, or, conversely, passive, indifferent)

children with disabilities mental development

children with wrong development volitional qualities (stubborn, weak-willed, capricious, self-willed, undisciplined, disorganized) 11 .

Asocial teenagers are formed from difficult children, whom the professor of psychology M.S. Neumark describes it like this:

cynics; leaders of asocial groups with an established immoral system of views and needs; violate the order and rules out of conviction and consider themselves right; consciously oppose themselves to society.

unstable, do not have strong moral convictions and deep moral feelings; their behavior, views, assessments entirely depend on the situation; subject to evil influence, unable to resist it.

teenagers and older schoolchildren who are driven to antisocial acts by strong personal immediate needs in the presence of very weak brakes; immediate needs (for spectacles, delicious food, often - tobacco, wine, etc.) turn out to be stronger than their moral feelings and intentions, and are satisfied in an unlawful way.

affective children who experience constant resentment based on the belief that they are underestimated, infringed, do not admit that they are unfair.

D. Futer (1929) considers the main signs of the abnormal behavior of difficult children to be a tendency to loiter - vagrancy, deceit, the formation of gangs with leaders, aggressiveness 12 .

Thus, we can conclude that the concept of "difficult children" is very capacious, and it is rather difficult to give it an exact definition.

1.3. The main causes of difficult behavior.

At the end of the 19th - beginning of the 20th centuries. scientists have conducted many studies in order to establish the reasons for the deviation of the behavior of children and adolescents from the norm. As a result, various theories have emerged. Which can be divided into two groups:

biological causes

psychological reasons 13

So, for example, the authors of biological theories, such as the Italian physician Cesare Lombroso or the American William Sheldon, believed that there is a direct connection between criminal behavior and the biological characteristics of a person. Even the constitution of the human body determines character traits. Scientists have identified three types of human figure:

Endomorph - a person of moderate fullness with a soft and somewhat rounded body - such a person is characterized by sociability, the ability to get along with people.

Mesomorph - the human body is distinguished by strength and harmony - it is characterized by a tendency to anxiety, active and not too sensitive.

Ectomorph - characterized by subtlety and fragility of the body - prone to introspection, endowed with hypersensitivity and nervousness.

Although such biological theories were popular in the early 20th century, other concepts gradually supplanted them. Supporters of the psychological interpretation associated deviant and delinquent behavior with psychological traits (mental instability, psychological imbalance, etc.). Evidence has been obtained that some mental disorders, especially schizophrenia, may be due to a genetic predisposition. In addition, some biological features can affect the psyche of the individual. For example, if a boy is teased for short stature, his response may be directed against society and expressed in deviant behavior. But in such cases, biological factors only indirectly contribute to the deviation, combined with psychological 15 .

By the middle of the 20th century, theories began to emerge that provide a sociological explanation for the deviant behavior of children. E. Durkheim was the first to develop a detailed sociological theory. He introduced the concept of anomie, i.e. disorganization of society, lack of values, violation of order in relations between people.

Subsequently, sociological theory was developed by R. Merton, R. Linton, W. Miller, G. Becker. Currently, this theory is the most popular in explaining the causes of deviant and delinquent behavior in children 16 .

In fact, according to modern sociologists, psychologists and educators, there is no need to look for any special reasons for the occurrence of antisocial behavior in children, they do not exist. They are in our daily life, in examples of adult behavior. Adults should look for the reasons for dissatisfaction with children's behavior in themselves, in their actions, which are presented as patterns of behavior.

Children have copied and will always copy adults. So they enter into life and develop, adopting everything indiscriminately. They don't know how to distinguish between good and bad.

Modern life is replete with asocial, i.e. inconsistent with the requirements of society and moral norms, the behavior of adults. Constantly having such "patterns" before their eyes, children absorb them as something completely natural. They often do not understand why the teacher requires them to be polite, not to swear, not to smoke; in their real life there are no such norms. That is why it is so difficult to correct the antisocial behavior of children 17 .

There are enough reasons why a child becomes difficult, and then asocial. For example, A.I. Kochetov singled out the following reasons:

The increased tension of life, the increased anxiety of most people: many are inclined to revise the norms of behavior, to simplify them, the behavior of the majority is becoming less and less civilized.

School tension, expressed in an increase in volumes and intensity of classes, increasing the pace.

Great pressure on the fragile minds and nerves of schoolchildren causes a mismatch between what the child sees in real life and what he is taught, what is required of him at school.

A wide range of possible shortcomings of moral education - from a lack of understanding of moral norms to an unwillingness to reckon with them.

Intellectual underdevelopment, mental callousness, emotional deafness of a significant part of children

Unfavorable heredity

Defects in self-esteem, its overestimation, unwillingness to recognize objective assessments and reckon with them

Instability of nervous processes under conditions favorable for the occurrence of deviant behavior

Lack of volitional self-regulation (impulsivity, disinhibition, incontinence)

Antisocial behavior of parents (drunkenness, fights, drug addiction, criminal lifestyle, etc.)

Complete indifference to the child or, conversely, excessive control by adults

Incitement of adults, involvement of minors in groups of asocial behavior

Unfavorable course of crisis periods in the development of the child, rebellion against the limitation of independence

Slowed rates of mental, social and moral development

Pedagogical neglect 18

Pedagogical neglect is part of the general social neglect. If we put the question this way: are only the family and the school to blame for the antisocial behavior of children, then the answer will be negative; society is to blame for not providing opportunities for the normal functioning of social institutions.

Difficult children are always neglected children, who were not paid attention to in time, did not take timely measures to correct their behavior. The category of difficult includes schoolchildren who have fallen out of the process of normal education and upbringing, who have not developed the right relationship with the teacher, who have not found their place in the team and socially acceptable ways to establish themselves in it.

Undisciplined schoolchildren are also difficult. Their violent activity, seething energy sometimes does not find a reasonable way out and manifests itself in pranks, mischief, violations of discipline. A bad example of comrades, idleness, idleness, neglect favor the development of indiscipline. To overcome it, it is necessary to switch the activity and energy of children to interesting exciting things, to direct their initiative in the right direction.

If a child does not work at full strength, is lazy, loafers - he is also difficult. Normal and healthy schoolchildren should have normal aspirations, needs, and habits of work 19 .

S. Nevskaya and I. Nevsky explain deviations in the behavior of children and adolescents by the following groups of factors:

Pedagogical neglect, when a child behaves incorrectly due to his bad manners, lack of necessary knowledge, skills, abilities.

Social neglect, i.e. corrupted by wrong upbringing.

Deep psychological discomfort caused by a negative psychological microclimate in the family, academic failure, undeveloped relationships in the classroom, rude or cruel attitude to him from his parents, elders.

Deviations in the state of mental and physical health, age-related crises.

Unemployment useful species activities, lack of personally significant life plans and goals, neglect, negative influence environment 20 .

The social and pedagogical neglect of children develops against the background of an indifferent, inattentive attitude towards them by those around them, parents, teachers, and the public. Children deeply experience this indifference as their loneliness, uselessness, abandonment, rejection. There is a feeling of protest against the whole world, adults, the team. The child is looking for new forms of self-affirmation, and usually chooses those that are unethical and even illegal.

In all these cases, harm is done not only to society, but also to the individual, its formation. Very often a person remains flawed all his life 21.

Thus, the most general and brief analysis of the nature of deviations in the behavior of children and adolescents allows us to distinguish the following stages of development:

disapproved behavior, occasionally observed in most children and adolescents, associated with pranks, mischief, disobedience, restlessness, stubbornness, etc.

reprehensible behavior that causes more or less harsh condemnation of others, teachers, parents.

Deviant behavior, which is based on morally negative manifestations and misconduct (dishonesty, deceit, pretense, hypocrisy, selfishness, conflict, aggressiveness, theft, etc.)

delinquent, or pre-criminal, behavior that carries the rudiments of criminal and destructive behavior - episodic deliberate violations of the norms and requirements governing the behavior and relationships of people in society: hooliganism, beatings, extortion, drinking alcohol, malicious violations of discipline and generally accepted rules of conduct.

illegal, or criminal, behavior, which is based on various offenses and crimes

destructive, or extreme, behavior, which is based on actions and deeds that cause irreparable damage to the individual - the systematic use of alcoholic beverages, toxic and narcotic drugs, etc. 22

From the above facts, we can conclude that in addition to biological and psychological theories, there are social theories that quite truthfully explain the reasons for the appearance of "difficult" children. First of all, sociologists point out, the family brings up the child: it pays enough attention to it, or treats it connivingly.

Being in the family from early childhood, a teenager is subject to many-sided influence on the part of parents, as well as other family members. Unfavourable conditions family education leave an imprint on the formation of personal qualities, respectively affect the character of a teenager.

Studies of dysfunctional families make it possible to determine the main causes of pedagogical neglect in adolescents:

rude, disrespectful, neglectful attitude towards children by parents and adult family members;

lack of requirements for children from parents;

non-compliance with the unity of requirements for a teenager on the part of the father and mother;

violation of a measure in promotion;

violation of a measure in punishment;

unhealthy moral atmosphere of the family;

stay of a teenager in the position of a dependent, in an atmosphere of doing nothing;

abuse of parents by direct importunate admonitions;

neglect (objective and subjective);

spoiled, pampered children,

unhealthy lifestyle of parents;

bad example of parents 23 .

Based common mistakes family education, it is possible to distinguish four conditional groups of difficult children:

1. Children who grew up in conditions of rudeness, cruelty, injustice.

2 Neglected children (children left to themselves, parents do not have the opportunity to control the behavior and study of students due to social and labor employment or do not want to be responsible for raising sons and daughters).

3. Spoiled, pampered children (children who have received an excessive dose of mother's and father's love, who have become an object of admiration and forgiveness in the family, most often they are in conditions of doing nothing).

4. Children corrupted by the bad example of adults (parents lead a dishonest, immoral lifestyle, which accordingly affects the formation of a teenager's personal qualities) 24 .

Unfavorable conditions of family education are the primary cause of deviant and delinquent behavior of children. If we take into account the fact that in modern society there is a very large number of dysfunctional families, then we can conclude that there is a huge number of "difficult" children. Moreover, the attitude towards them in our society is not always critical, and among their peers, “difficult” children almost never meet with open condemnation. Why is this happening?

According to many modern psychologists and sociologists, our society itself pushes children and adolescents to deviant and delinquent behavior. Consider the following facts.

One of the means mass education, mass culture are the media - the media. Movies, newspaper articles, radio programs form the child's idea of ​​what is fashionable, modern, exciting. And often the media romanticizes deviant behavior, i.e. those who are supposed to educate "persons of deviant behavior", on the contrary, contribute to an increase in their number.

As an example, we can cite the TV repertoire of only one day of our television: "Love with Death" (about the adventures of a young necrophiliac), "Witch Love" (a combination of black magic and "heavy" eroticism), "Space Marines"(about "tough" American guys bringing "American order" in space), "The Main Goal" (about the habits, techniques and atrocities of the American mafia - a training manual for home-grown Russian bandits), "Gangster Petersburg" (craft by domestic masters screen, a film replete with gunfights, stabbings, corpses and blood). And what about television news blocks, where there is still the same blood and the same corpses and disasters. On modern domestic television, everything is borrowed from the West: "Field of Miracles" and Disney cartoons, American show with Russian name " Good evening with Igor Ugolnikov" and "Dog Show", MTV and STS 25 channels.

In August-December 2004, the Unified Scientific and Methodological Center of the Committee for Culture of the Government of Moscow, together with the Institute for Socio-Political Research of the Russian Academy of Sciences, conducted a sociological study "Youth of Moscow about the means mass media". It was attended by 754 people. Among them - students of schools and colleges, students. When asked about the sources from which they receive the most interesting, useful information about the life of young people, the answers were distributed as follows.

Sources of information about the life of young people
(Here and below in % of the number of respondents) 26

As can be seen from the above data, television was in the first place.

In the course of the study, the question was also asked how much time teenagers devote to one or another information and cultural sources. Leading places were taken by television and radio, and in the "rearguard" were books.

How much time do you spend: 27

A source of information				I don't pay
Reading newspapers and magazines
Listening to audio and video cassettes
Video films
TV shows
The study of special literature, textbooks
radio broadcasts
Reading fiction

The leaders who form the opinions, ideas and demands of adolescents include popular artists and singers, musical groups, sports idols and fashion designers, newspaper, magazine, television and presenters, etc. On the pages of print media, on youth radio and television, you can often hear proud confessions of rock stars and movie idols about what drugs they use and how "cool" it is, how it contributes to the creative process, enriches the spiritual world, sharpens the senses. And after that, the "hit of the season" is performed - a song about narcotic hallucinations and love ecstasy. Allegories, reticences, hints, logical chains, code words, jargon of drug addicts, anecdotes, jokes on this topic - all this has become commonplace on television, radio, and in the press. All this works to promote drugs, to involve boys and girls in this destructive funnel from an early age, to the interests and profits of the drug mafia 28 .

In many print and electronic media targeted at a youth audience, a significant part of the print space, airtime is given to overt or covert propaganda and advertising of alcoholic beverages and cigarettes. Advertising of all sorts of beer literally flooded all the media. The result of this is the growth of child and youth alcoholism. The so-called beer alcoholism among teenagers and young people is growing at an especially rapid pace 29 .

Thus, many modern media contribute to educating the younger generation of interest in crime, alcoholism, drug addiction, i.e. various forms of deviation.

CHAPTERII . Features of working with children with difficult behavior.

So, we have already decided enough on the questions of who the "difficult" children are and why they appear in our society. It remains only to answer the question of how to organize the life of this society so that the number of such children and adolescents decreases. How to prevent deviant behavior, how to help a “difficult” child become “normal”? Let us turn to the works of famous educators, psychologists and sociologists.

2.1. "Difficult children" in school and learning activities.

Children with complicated behavior cause any team a lot of trouble and trouble. And the work of a teacher with "difficult" students in the educational team is, first of all, pedagogical rehabilitation. It should include: the possibility of responding to mental tension; providing conditions from bad habits; switching the interests of a teenager to a socially positive norm with the support of self-confidence.

The whole pedagogy of re-education of AS Makarenko is devoted to the restoration of emotional and psychological ties with the collective. His pedagogical experience in creating special boarding school for "difficult" teenagers, described in detail in the "Pedagogical Poem" became a real sensation. In his activities and related research, he tried to involve each pupil in the life of the team, taking into account his individual characteristics. The result of his work was the return of dozens of former "difficult" children and adolescents to a normal social life.

A.S. Makarenko, calling for the construction of educational work taking into account the individual characteristics of students, spoke about the pedagogy of "individual action", designed for each specific person with all his individual originality. At the same time, he emphasized that an individual approach is not “pair pedagogy”, not chamber education, not “scattered fuss with each pupil” 31 .

This point of view, expressed in the last century, is fully supported by the majority of our contemporaries.

The teacher first of all needs to know the children well, to see in each of them individual, peculiar features. The better the educator understands the individual characteristics of schoolchildren, the more correctly he can organize the educational process, applying educational measures in accordance with the individuality of pupils 32 .

The pedagogical position in relation to the "difficult" student should be combined in a reasonable combination of measures that support the positive aspirations of the individual and prevent the development of negative ones. The teacher must be able to find positive beginnings in the character of his pupil, to be able to correctly and in time to encourage or punish him 33.

It is useful to praise one student, as this strengthens his faith in his own strength; in relation to another, it is better to refrain from praise, so as not to lead him to complacency, self-confidence. Equally, emphasizing the shortcomings of the student can play negative role in relation to an insecure child and positive, if the student is too self-confident and not self-critical 34 .

Individual approach expressed in the application of measures and forms of punishment. Some schoolchildren are affected by simple condemnation, while others are not impressed by such forms of condemnation and are perceived as condescension or gentleness of the educator. In relation to such students, more severe penalties should be applied. But at the same time, a clear motivation for a higher penalty is necessary (so that schoolchildren do not have an opinion about the inconsistency and injustice of the teacher) 35 .

When asked how the teacher should organize his work with pedagogically neglected children, V.A. Sukhomlinsky answered as follows: “The main thing is to prevent these children from experiencing their “inferiority”, to prevent them from developing an indifferent attitude to educational work, not to dull their sense of honor and dignity” 36 . This goal was achieved by a set of techniques.

Firstly, “such children should be taught and brought up in a mass general education school: there is no need to create any special educational institutions for them.” This is necessary not only so that an insufficiently capable child never feels his “inferiority”, it is important here that he is in an atmosphere of a full-fledged spiritual life of the school.

Secondly, in the classroom, children with learning disabilities should receive tasks that would guarantee them success in their work. To do this, the teacher should identify the strongest side in the student's mental abilities and, based on it, offer appropriate tasks. Success in performing even one thing strengthens the child's faith in his own strength. As a result, he starts the next task already with a “premonition of success”. Experiencing the joy of success is a necessary condition for normal, productive learning activities 37 .

The well-known teacher N.E. Shchurkova offers several options for working with such children:

Suppression of their actions and actions that can cause harm

Ignoring his deliberately harsh, provocative behavior

Involving the child in some active activity (sports, games, creativity) 38

Summing up all the methods and methods mentioned above, it should be said that a “difficult” child will always and should occupy more attention of the teacher than a “normal” one. If we remember that a “difficult” child is most often abandoned by parents, neglected by relatives, unloved in most groups, then such an attitude towards him will be justified.

2.2. "Difficult children" in society.

One of the features of the behavior of difficult children is long-term conflict relationships with others. Initially, conflict relations arise, as a rule, against the will of a teenager with one of the parents or teachers. Then the conflict environment expands and ends with completely damaged relationships with most adults and peers. Often "difficult" children and adolescents oppose themselves to the society in which they live and try to harm it, if possible. Thus, their behavior becomes antisocial, dangerous for many other members of this society.

The difficult socio-economic situation of recent years in Russia has caused an increase in the number of street children. According to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, back in 1997, employees of the internal affairs bodies identified 67.6 thousand neglected minors, the number of persons deprived of parental rights, even then its growth was considered to have tripled over the past 5 years. 39 Unfortunately, today the growth of neglected and homeless children still continues.

A growing person finds himself in an asocial, sometimes criminal environment, where requirements, rules, traditions, values, asocial group norms (nicknames, “common pot”, oaths, rituals, “registration”, tattoos, criminal jargon, etc.) operate alien to society.

To save children from the rising wave of vagrancy, neglect, deviant behavior, the Centers for Psychological, Pedagogical and Medical and Social Assistance to Children were created throughout the territory Russian Federation from Arkhangelsk to Taganrog, from Kaliningrad and Pskov to Khabarovsk.

The main purpose of the Centers is to provide concrete assistance to the child in finding the meaning of life for him through the appeal of teachers to his inner world, his natural activity, through the study, understanding and realization of his internal capabilities and needs for self-rehabilitation, self-development, self-determination.

Under the conditions of the Centers, juveniles with persistent unlawful behavior are brought up who have committed acts provided for by the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, received a reprieve of the execution of the sentence or were sentenced to probation (In most cases, only due to the intervention of the Center in the fate of the child. high court, and from the pre-trial detention center the child is placed in the shelter of the Center). The existing system of “fighting” against juvenile delinquency determines the placement of such children only in educational and educational institutions of a closed type or in educational and labor colonies of the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

IN last years there is a high level of deviant behavior of children admitted to such Centers. So, when analyzing the database of one of the regions of Russia in 2002, the following was recorded:

Were registered with the OPPN or had a criminal record 88%

Drink alcohol 98%

Used drugs or toxic substances 78%

Sexually deviant behavior with sexual promiscuity 38%

Participated in robbery and extortion 26%

Participated in thefts 75%

Tendency to vagrancy, leaving home 64%

Almost every second teenager is a repeater or has not studied at school for 2-3 years or more. The Centers bring up children from 10 to 18 years old, in terms of age composition over 50% - teenagers over 15 years old.

Thus, we can conclude that "difficult children" are a big problem in our society, and can be dangerous for it. At the same time, they need the constant care and support of this society, they require attention and huge costs - both moral and material.

CONCLUSION

Summing up the work, we can conclude that the problem of "difficult" children in modern society is very relevant. Alcoholism, drug addiction, prostitution, crime at an early age are not uncommon today. The public, on the one hand, is fighting deviation: they organize centers for psychological support and rehabilitation of "difficult" children and adolescents, try to ensure their employment in socially useful affairs, hold campaigns in support of a healthy lifestyle and quitting drug addiction and smoking. On the other hand, the same society provokes such behavior by showing the “heroes” of deviation in the media and paying a lot of attention to this topic.

There is a deviant and delinquent behavior in children not by chance, but due to a number of reasons - psychological, physical and social. These include congenital genetic diseases, and mental problems, but most often - problems of upbringing by the family and society.

"Difficult" usually become children from dysfunctional families who, with early age see deviant behavior on the part of adults.

With age, the problems of a “difficult” child can either weaken or intensify, the whole point is who and how will deal with them. Of course, the family should play a primary role in upbringing, and if the parents respond in time to the antisocial behavior of the child, he will be able to return to a “normal” life. On the part of teachers, increased attention and care is also required for such children.

This paper discusses the main ways and methods of interaction with them, the causes of deviant and delinquent behavior, and also gives a general definition of the concept of a "difficult" child.

LIST OF SOURCES AND LITERATURE USED

Azarov Yu.P. The art of education - M: "Enlightenment", 1985.

Zhukhovitsky L. A. Open letter to the reader // Pedagogy. - 1989.- No. 4. P.18 -25.

Selected works: in 4 volumes, Kyiv: Radyansk school, 1979-1980.

Kashchenko V.P. Asocial behavior of a schoolchild // Issues of psychology. - 2003. - No. 5. P.43.

Kon I.S. Psychology of early youth: Book. for the teacher. – M.: Enlightenment, 1989.

Korotov V.M. Development of A.S. Makarenko in the theory and methodology of education - M: "Pedagogy", 1989.

Lyubitsina M.I. V.A. Sukhomlinsky about raising children - Leningrad, 1984

Makarenko A.S. About education - M; Politizdat, 1990

Natanzon E.Sh. Difficult student and teaching staff: A guide for the teacher - M: "Enlightenment", 1984.

Nevsky I.A. Teacher about children with behavioral problems. M., 1993.

Nemov R. S. Psychology: a textbook for students of higher pedagogical educational institutions: 2nd ed. – M.: Enlightenment: Vlados.

Plotkin M. M. Social and pedagogical assistance to children from disadvantaged families / / Pedagogy. - 2000. - No. 1. p.19

Psychological and pedagogical approaches in working with difficult students: Methodological material for vocational school teachers / VG Senko. Minsk, 1995. S.4 M., 1999. P.219.

Rodgchanin E.G., Zyazyun I.A. Humanist. Thinker. Teacher. On the ideals of V.A. Sukhomlinsky - M: "Pedagogy", 1991

Sobkin V.S. Manifestation of deviation in teenage subculture // Issues of psychology.- 2004.-№3.С.3.

"The social sphere of Moscow in the assessments of the population of the capital."

http://www.mos.ru

Sociology of youth. / Yu.G.Volkov, V.I. Dobrenkov, F.G. Kadaria and others - Rostov - on Don, 2002001. S. 479.

Reader in Pedagogy.: Textbook for students of pedagogical universities, institutes and colleges in 2 parts. Part 2 / O.P. Morozova.

1 Psychological and pedagogical approaches in working with difficult students.: Methodical material for vocational school teachers / VG Senko. Minsk, 1995. P.4

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How to help a difficult child?

naughty children, and even more so children who are "out of hand", it is customary to blame. They are looking for malicious intent, vicious genes, etc. In fact, the number of "difficult" children usually includes not "worst", but especially sensitive And vulnerable. They "go off the rails" under the influence of life's stresses and difficulties, reacting to them much earlier and stronger than more stable children.
From this follows the conclusion that the "difficult" child needs only help - and in no case in criticism and punishment.

The reasons for persistent disobedience of the child should be sought in the depths of his psyche. It seems on the surface that he "simply does not obey", "simply does not want to understand", but in fact the reason is different. And, as a rule, it is emotional, not rational. Furthermore, it is not realized by either the adult or the child himself.

Psychologists have identified four main causes of serious behavioral disorders children.

First - fight for attention. If the child does not receive the right amount the attention he so desperately needs normal development and emotional well-being, then he finds a way to get it - disobedience. Adults keep pouring out remarks... It cannot be said that this is very pleasant, but the attention is nevertheless received. It's better than none.

The second reason - struggle for self-assertion against excessive parental authority and guardianship. The famous demand "I myself" of a two-year-old baby persists throughout childhood, becoming especially aggravated in adolescents. Children are very sensitive to the infringement of this desire. But it becomes especially difficult for them when they are communicated with, mainly in the form of instructions, remarks and fears. Adults believe that this is how they instill in children the right habits, accustom them to order, prevent mistakes, and generally educate them.

It is necessary, but the question is HOW to do it. If remarks and advice are too frequent, orders and criticism are too harsh, and fears are too exaggerated, then the child begins to rebel. The teacher is faced with stubbornness, self-will, actions in defiance. The meaning of such behavior for the child is to defend the right to decide his own affairs, and, in general, to show that he is a person. And it does not matter that his decision is sometimes not very successful, even erroneous. But it is its own, and this is the main thing!

The third reason is desire for revenge. Children are often offended by adults. The reasons can be very different: the teacher is more attentive to the excellent students, the parents are more attentive to the younger, the parents divorce, the child was excommunicated from the family (put in the hospital, sent to the grandmother), the parents constantly quarrel, the teacher constantly makes unfair remarks, etc.

There are many and isolated reasons for resentment: an unfulfilled promise, a sharp remark, an unfair punishment ...

And again, in the depths of his soul, the child experiences and even suffers, but on the surface - all the same protests, disobedience, poor progress. The meaning of "bad" behavior in this case can be expressed as follows: "You did me bad - let it be bad for you too! .."

Finally, the fourth reason - loss of faith in one's own success. It may happen that a child experiences his trouble in one area of ​​life, and his failures occur in a completely different one. For example, a boy may not develop relationships in the classroom, and the result will be neglected studies; otherwise, failure at school may lead to defiant behavior at home, and so on.

This "displacement of ill-being" is due to the child's low self-esteem. Having accumulated a bitter experience of failures and criticism in his address, he generally loses self-confidence. He comes to the conclusion: "There is nothing to try, it will not work out anyway." This is in the soul, and by external behavior he shows: “I don’t care”, “Let me be bad”, “I will be bad!”

Agree that the aspirations of difficult children are quite positive and natural and express a natural need for warmth and attention, a need for recognition and respect for his personality, a sense of justice, a desire for success. The trouble with "difficult" children is that, firstly, they suffer acutely from the non-fulfillment of these needs and, secondly, from attempts to make up for this lack in ways that do not make up for anything.

Why are they so "unreasonable"? Yes, because don't know how to do it differently! And therefore, any serious violation of the child's behavior is help signal. By his behavior, he tells us: "I feel bad! Help me!"

The task of understanding the cause, at first glance, is not an easy one. After all, different causes outwardly manifest themselves in the same way. For example, poor study may be associated with a desire to attract attention, and with an unwillingness to obey someone else's will, and with attempts to "pay back" parents, and with a loss of faith in one's own strength. And yet reveal true reason bad behavior is quite simple, although the method may seem very strange - you need to pay attention to your own feelings.

Look, note what emotional reaction you yourself have when the child repeatedly disobeys. At different reasons this reaction is different. Here is such an amazing fact that the experiences of adults are a kind of mirror of a hidden emotional problem child.

If a child fights for attention, now and then annoying with his antics, then we have irritation.

If the underlying reason is opposition to the will of the educator, then the latter has anger.

If the hidden reason is revenge, then we have a reciprocal feeling - resentment.

Finally, when a child deeply experiences his troubles, we find ourselves in the grip of a feeling hopelessness, and sometimes despair.

As we can see, feelings are different, and it is quite possible to understand which one suits specific case. What to do next?

The first and general answer to it is this - try not to react in the usual way, that is, in the way that the child already expects from you. The point is that in similar cases a vicious circle is formed. The more an adult is dissatisfied, the more baby makes sure that his efforts have reached the goal, and he resumes them with new energy. This means that our task is to stop reacting in the old ways and thereby break the vicious circle.

Of course, this is not easy to do. You can’t command emotions, they turn on almost automatically, especially when conflicts are old, “with experience”. And yet you can change the nature of communication! You can stop, if not an emotion, then at least everything that follows it: remarks and punishing actions. If in the next moment you manage to figure out exactly what you felt, then it will not be difficult to unravel the child’s problem: with what, against what or from what he “fought”. And after that it is much easier to move from the position of influence, correction to the position of assistance, interaction. Help will vary from case to case.

If it goes fight for attention need to find a way show your child your positive attention to him. It is better to do this in relatively calm moments, when no one annoys anyone and no one is angry with anyone. For example, it can be joint activities, games, walks, well-deserved praise, etc. It is worth trying, and you will see, feel how grateful the child will respond.

As for his usual "antics", they are best left unattended. After a while, the child will find that they do not work, and the need for them, thanks to your positive attention, will disappear.

God forbid ignoring this child altogether. In this case, an asocial person will be formed in his behavior.

If the source of the conflict is struggle for self-assertion, then, on the contrary, reduce control over the affairs of the child. We have already said how important it is for children to accumulate experience of their own decisions and even failures. During the transition period of your relationship, refrain from making demands that, in your experience, he is unlikely to fulfill. On the contrary, what can be called the "tuning method" helps a lot - you do not dispute the decision to which he came, but agree with him on the details and conditions for its implementation. But most of all, it will help to get rid of excessive pressure and dictatorship by understanding that the stubbornness and self-will of a child is just a form of prayer that irritates you: "Let me finally live with my mind." Remember that living someone else's life is a thankless task.

If you feel resentment, then you need to ask yourself: what made the child hurt you? What is his own pain? How did you offend or constantly offend him? Having understood the reason, it is necessary, of course, to try to eliminate it.

The most difficult situation in a desperate adult and a child who has lost faith in his abilities(teenager). Reasonable behavior of the educator in this case - stop demanding "relying" behavior. It is worth "resetting to zero" your expectations and claims. Surely a child can do something and is even very capable of something. But for now, you have it the way it is. Find the level of tasks available to him. This is your starting point from which you can start moving forward. Do something with him together, he cannot get out of the impasse on his own. At the same time, no criticism should be allowed against him!

Look for any reason to encourage him, celebrate any, even the most little success. Try to insure him, save him from major failures. You will notice and feel that the very first successes will inspire your child.

Remember that it is useless to wait for your efforts to create peace and discipline in the family or in the classroom to lead to success on the first day. The road ahead is long and difficult, it will require a lot of patience from you. You probably noticed that the main efforts should be directed towards being aware of your negative emotions (irritation, anger, resentment, despair) and switching them to constructive actions. Yes, in a sense, you will have to change yourself. But this is the only way of education.

And the last thing that is very important to know. In the beginning, when you first try to improve the relationship, the child may reinforce his bad behavior! He may not immediately believe in the sincerity of your intentions and will check them. So you have to endure this serious test.

Organization of psychological assistance

1. The study of the psychological originality of "difficult" adolescents, the characteristics of their life and upbringing, mental development and attitude to learning, volitional development of the personality, professional orientation, deficiencies in emotional development, pathological manifestations.

2. Identification of the problems of family education: unreacted feelings and experiences by parents, unconscious projection of personal problems on children, misunderstanding, rejection, inflexibility of parents, etc.

3. Psychological counseling to help the child understand their problems and suggest how they could be solved.

4. Individual conversations with "difficult" children in order to help them make more meaningful actions, rise above their feelings, fear, overcome insecurity in communicating with others.

5. Correction of the positive educational impact of the chosen means of education.

6. Rendering psychological help parents of a "difficult" student.

Teach them to understand the child, to rely on his positive traits,

control his behavior and activities in free time.(Understand me)

Organization of free time for "difficult" schoolchildren

Free time - the ability to spend your leisure time reasonably and interestingly, for the benefit of yourself and others - urgent problem"difficult" children. On the one hand, leisure activities attract students with unregulated, voluntary types and forms of activities, ample opportunities for amateur performance, and the informal nature of relations. The amount of free time for the "difficult" person grows to about 50 hours a week, and up to 8 hours a day. On the other hand, there is an inability of the “difficult” to rationally use his free time, the underdevelopment of his skills and abilities in leisure activities. It is necessary to fill the void, to help the child acquire the experience of self-affirmation in useful activities, the skills and abilities of self-organization, planning their time, forming interests, and the ability to achieve their goals.

1. Studying the interests and abilities of children.

2. Involvement of the "difficult" in circles, sections, socially useful activities, the movement of mercy.

3. Special attention to study the reader's interests. Write to the library, track the frequency of her visits, help make a list of interesting and necessary books for development.

4. Studying the participation of "difficult" in informal associations at the place of residence (companies). If necessary, help in the reorientation of interests.

5. Encouragement of any kind of artistic and technical creativity "difficult" and their participation in school-wide and classroom activities.

6. Determination of one of the main areas of work of the territorial socio-pedagogical center and school educational centers to work with "difficult" children.

7. Organization for children who do not have sufficient care and control at home, seasonal health-improving and leisure school camps and after-school groups.

Conditions for the effectiveness of techniques for working with "difficult" students

(according to Vertsinskaya)

Volitional quality, which develops as a result of compliance with the reception pedagogical condition:

1. Mobilization of internal forces to complete the task.

Team cohesion and high level organization of its activities.

Self-discipline.

2. Activation of the volitional installation.

The unity of promising lines of development of the team and personality.

Purposefulness.

3. Stimulation of efforts for the immediate execution of tasks.

Conscious discipline in the team, a clear sequence of educational tasks and public assignments.

Self-discipline.

4. Approval of the first successes of the activity.

Ensuring success in activities based on the application of positive

body qualities, strengths and abilities of a teenager.

Self confidence.

5. Respect for self-esteem.

The atmosphere of emotional comfort in the team.

Self-demanding.

6. Emphasizing the inevitability of the task.

Strict reporting system.

Conscientiousness.

7. Prevention of errors by stimulating self-control.

Pedagogical example, positive example correct execution assignments, assignments.

Self control.

Differentiated - group approach in the learning process.

In the process of monitoring the preparation of "difficult" students, it is recommended:

Creating an atmosphere of goodwill when interviewing a student;

Decreasing the pace of the survey, allowing more time to prepare at the blackboard, to make preliminary notes;

Give to the student rough plan answers, suggestive control questions, helping to consistently present knowledge;

Give visual aids, diagrams, plans that help to state the essence of the issue and phenomenon, concept, law, etc .;

Stimulate with evaluation, encouragement, diary entry.

Arouse interest in mastering the topic (bringing an analogy, showing the application of the studied material in life);

Asking low performers more frequently to ask questions about their level of understanding educational material. Involving strong students to clarify in case of difficulties;

Involvement of weak performers as assistants in the demonstration of experiments, visual aids(posters, diagrams, demonstrations), helping to understand the essence of the material being explained, facilitating the transition from visual-figurative thinking to conceptual - abstract;

Involving weak performers in making assumptions in problem-based learning, in conclusions and generalizations or explaining the essence of the problem, statements of strong students.

During independent work The lesson is recommended:

Give on initial stage a number of tasks, simpler, less variant, similar to those previously completed;

Breaking down the task into different stages, selection in complex tasks of simpler ones, etc.;

An indication of a similar task completed earlier;

An indication of the need to update this or that action, formula, law, rule, definition;

Indication of the reception or method of performing the task;

Instructing on more rational ways of completing tasks, on the requirements for performing work;

Stimulation of independent actions, indication of the success of the activity;

More careful monitoring of the activities of weak performers, pointing out errors, checking their correction.

When organizing independent work outside the classroom, it is recommended:

The choice of a more rational system of exercises, and not a mechanical increase in their number;

A more detailed explanation of the order of the task;

An assumption about possible difficulties;

Give cards - consultations that help fill gaps in knowledge, cards with a guiding action plan;

Give the task of repeating the material that will be required for better assimilation new topic;

If necessary, drawing up an individual plan to eliminate gaps in knowledge and skills: (task, deadline, control question).