Exercises for the position of a child adult parent. Psychological Training for Parents: The Joy of Parenting

Training exercises for working with parents and students

a special place in my pedagogical activity takes parent training. The training is conducted with a group of parents at a parent-teacher meeting. Trainings will be effective if all parents become actively involved in them and attend regularly. To make the training complete positive result, it should include 5-8 lessons. During the training sessions, with great interest, parents perform such tasks as “children's grimaces”, “favorite toy”, “my fairy-tale image”, “children's games”, “memories of childhood”, “film about my family”. Such tasks allow you to take a fresh look at relationships in your family, at your own authority in the eyes of the child.

I would like to bring to your attention several game exercises that are aimed at forming a parent team. They can be used at the first parent-teacher meeting, or at several meetings with parents.

Greetings.

All participants greet each other in a circle in different options:

Say amicably to each other “Hi!;

Bang fists;

Rub your backs;

We hug.

The exercise helps the participants to get to know and quickly remember each other's names. Participants of the training sit in a common circle. The first participant introduces himself and names something he likes. This noun must start with the same letter as the name of this participant. For example, a participant named Anton might say: "My name is Anton and I love oranges." The second participant repeats what the first participant said and adds information about himself. For example: "This is Anton, who loves oranges, and I'm Tatyana and I love dancing."

paper napkins

The exercise helps the participants of the training to get to know each other, and also creates a cheerful positive atmosphere in the group. The participants of the training are given a pack of paper napkins with the words: "In case you need it, please take yourself some napkins." After all participants have taken napkins, they are invited to tell as many of the most happy events from the life of their family, how many napkins they have in their hands.

How similar we are!

The exercise helps the participants to get to know each other better. You need to split into two groups. Let each group make a list of what unites its members. In this list, you can write, for example: “Each of us has a sister ...”, “Each of us has soft toy…”, “The favorite color of each of us is red…”. You can not write universal information, such as "I have two legs." You can specify, for example, the year of birth, place of study, hobbies, Family status etc. You have 8 minutes. The group that finds and writes down will win. the largest number common features.

"It seems to me that as a child you were (a) ..."

Participants throw the ball to each other with the words: "It seems to me that as a child you were (a) ...". In response, everyone can agree or refute the statement. The second option: "I think as a child you dreamed (a) ...". Here, the participants of the training can talk about themselves, what they dreamed about in childhood or what they were then. This exercise encourages group members to fall into a childish ego state.

“Draw the coat of arms of the family

Participants must create the coat of arms of their family. The coat of arms should be beautifully designed. For a hint, I used a fragment of a previously filmed film “My family through the eyes of a child” (see video attachment)

Game "Wonderful bag"

I have a bag in my hands, at the bottom of which there are a wide variety of positive and negative feelings that a person can experience. After your child crossed the school threshold, feelings and emotions settled firmly in your soul, in your heart, which filled your entire existence. Dip your hand into the bag and take the "feeling" that fills you the most for now. a long period time, name it. Parents name the feelings that they are painfully experiencing. This activity allows you to identify problems and difficulties that arise in the family, and discuss these problems in the course of considering the topic of the meeting.

Game "Spider web"

Who wants to be like a child? (preferably dad) Here's our baby. One of the forms parental attention, care and love are restrictions and prohibitions. Today, we will translate every ban that is presented into a physical one and show it on our child. We will literally bind him with obligations and prohibitions. I made red ribbons. Let's name what is usually forbidden to the child (parents name the prohibitions, and the teacher ties the "child" with ribbons)

Exercise "Fertile garden".

There is a poster on the board with a picture of a tree. Participants are given apples (green - positive emotions and red - negative emotions), on which everyone writes the answer to the question: What do you think about our last meeting?

Then apples are hung on a tree with a commentary on what the participants liked or did not like and wishes for the future.

Thank you for your attention and participation in our meeting today.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Beskorovaynaya L. S., Perekatyeva O. V. "Teacher's Desk Book primary school". Ed. 3rd - Rostov n / D: publishing house "Phoenix", 2004. - 352p. (Series "School of joy".)

Derekleeva N. I. " parent meetings in grades 1-11. - M.: Verbum-M, 2001. - 80s.

Derekleeva N. I. "Handbook class teacher. Primary School. 1-4 classes. M.: Wako, 2003. - 240p.

Salyakhova L. I. “Parents' Meetings. Scenarios, recommendations, materials for conducting. 1-4 classes. - M.: Globus, 2007. - 315 p. - (Class leadership).

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Training for parents "The joy of education"

Target: awareness of the parental role, the definition of true values in their lives and the realization of their capabilities in raising a child.
Tasks:
- Learn to resolve conflicts peacefully, without exerting influence from a position of strength;
- Find paths leading to child development correct assessment their actions;
- Recognize the ultimate goals pursued by the child with his behavior;
- Become a happy and calm parent.
Conduct form: class.
Necessary materials and equipment: sheets of paper for each participant, a flipchart, adhesive tape, colored and simple pencils, markers, felt-tip pens, spectromaps by U. Khalkol, A. I. Kopytin, a smiley ball, wide ribbon or handkerchief - 6 pcs.

Lesson progress:

leading uy: As children, we made many promises to ourselves not to repeat the mistakes of our parents when we grew up. How many of us have repeatedly said to ourselves: "I will never do this to own child"? But when children appear, they don’t help us, neither the promises we once made to ourselves, nor piles of books on child psychology and pedagogy, nor the advice of friends, and even more so grandmothers ... Mistakes in education lead to the fact that children become secretive and uncontrollable, children's aggression heats up relations in the family, and often even leads to divorce of parents!
Today we will talk about how to change adult attitude to features child behavior and childhood problems. How to build communication and cooperation between adults and children. Discuss how you can learn to be successful parent, teacher.
1. Greeting "Pass the package"
Purpose: to stimulate the attention of the participants of the training, to activate them Creative skills, involve parents in joint activities to help parents get to know each other.
Moderator: Before we get started, let's tune in to joint activities. A game warm-up will help us tune in. I offer you paper bag in which tasks are written. Pass the package around or throw it to each other. We will start the task execution under musical accompaniment. When the music subsides, the one who at that moment had a package opens it and takes the first sheet that fell into his hands, reads and completes the task. The game will continue until all the leaves in the package are over.
(Examples of questions and tasks: say your favorite color, say your name, favorite hobby, what kind of music do you listen to, what qualities do you appreciate in people, what is your favorite movie, sing your favorite song, what time of the year do you like best, a vivid memory from childhood, who did you want to be as a child and did your dream come true?)
2. Rules
Psychologist's message about the rules of the group's work (prepare on a separate poster).
Discussing and explaining the need to comply with all the rules by each member of the group. List of rules:
Activity. Try to participate in all exercises.
Only one person can speak in class. Don't interrupt! Respect each other! You can only talk in a circle, you can’t whisper with a neighbor
Raised hand rule. We do not shout out, if you really want to say something, raise your hands.
We discuss only what is happening here and now.
Other people, even close ones, can only talk about what you yourself did or felt at the training. You can not talk about how they behaved or what other members of the group said.
stop rule. If you are not ready to discuss this topic, then you can skip the move.
Punishment

3. Presentation "Let's get to know each other" (work in diaries)
Moderator: Dear parents! Our meeting will be unusual. Everything that happens, I propose to leave in your memory. I offer each of you a diary to work on today's meeting. I recommend being frank, sincere, open in your answers, because this will help you find gaps in your child's upbringing and analyze them. Your answers will be confidential, so I hope for cooperation and reaching a full understanding.
Open the diaries and complete the first page.
Name_____________________________________________________________________________
Your credo ________________________________________________________________________
Your family values __________________________________________________________
For efficiency, I suggest you fill out business cards with your name.
4. Conversation "Remember our parents"
Your child has grown up. You see a lot of changes in him, you try to change approaches in communicating with him. Looking for new ways to influence him, "enter the role" of a strict or, conversely, good parent. You may not even realize that you learned about the parenting role long before you had children. Of course, you acquired this notion by observing the behavior of your own parents (or other people who cared for you) and assessing their attitude towards you and towards each other. Think back to your parents when you were teenagers. How much strong influence could have influenced the behavior of your parents during that period on your current attitude towards your own children.
- What were your parents like? Were they loving, cruel, gentle, impassive, strict, condescending, honest?
What was the predominant expression on their faces? Did they smile, frown, or avoid eye contact?
How did they treat you when they were angry? Did they yell at you, scold or punish you, and if so, in what way?
- Did they give preference to any of the children if you had brothers or sisters?
- Remember the worst and the best that you have heard from them. How did they express their anger, fear, love, sadness?
- Did they try to manipulate you? If they did, in what way - by making you feel guilty, by scaring you, by bribing you, by giving you fake compliments?
What were their life mottos? family proverbs(For example, “Slower ride - you will continue.”) Did these sayings turn out to be useful or restrictive for you?
- Did you trust your parents? Did they lie to you?
- Did they compete with you or with each other?
- Did you have the feeling that, in general, they are on your side?
What did you especially dislike about them? Why?
- What did you especially like about them? Why?
Your answers will give you the opportunity to learn more about what your parents were like. Use this information to better understand your similarities with them or differences from them.
Review your responses and ask yourself, "How can I copy them?". How do your mannerisms, gestures, or tone of voice resemble those of your parents. Ask yourself also: “In what ways am I consciously trying to be different from them?”
This exercise is an example of how the decisions we make based on early experiences become part of our world and have a strong influence on the development of our personality.
5. Exercise "What I will take from the experience of my parents."
Purpose: to analyze the experience of one's own upbringing and to identify positive and negative sides influence of family education.
(At the beginning of the exercise, the facilitator asks the group to recall stories from their childhood, parenting methods that parents applied to them in childhood).
Host: I suggest you divide the sheet into two parts. In one half of the sheet, write down the positive experience that you will take from the experience of your parents (at least 3 points), in the other half of the sheet, write the negative experience that you will never use in your parenthood.
Conclusion: the experience of one's own parenthood is formed on the basis of family education models.
6. Exercise "Map parent roles»
Purpose: to increase the level of parental competence.
Moderator: Being a parent is a very complex and multifaceted task. We know that a child needs love, care and limits. And what does this really mean? Being a parent is a person's role for life. The ability to be a parent is born as a result of the relationship with the child, but each parent receives the initial skills for this process from his own home and from environment in which he grew up. Being a responsible parent is a must for normal development child, as well as an important task from the standpoint of society, perhaps the most important from the point of view of life.
Let's take a look at the "Map of Parental Roles" with you. Please indicate what role, in your opinion, does a parent play in raising a child? Divide the circle into sectors and mark these roles. Number them in order of importance to you.
7. game exercise"Ban".
Leading: Please look at your chairs, who will have geometric figure- the triangle goes into a circle. You are a child, and whoever has a circle in his hands will be a mother. The mother of the child takes great care of him: she makes sure that he does not get dirty, that he does not get sick, etc. It forbids the child to jump in puddles, run down the street, touch sticks on the street, collect stones and put them in his mouth, etc. Consider all of the above with a specific example.
You - Small child. You and your mother hurry to kindergarten. And you are a very energetic, inquisitive, questioning child.
- Mom, what is it, look! you say.
- Once, look under your feet, you always stumble! Why are you shaking your head!
Stop staring! - I answer you. (I blindfold my eyes with a handkerchief)
You run further, and on the way you meet your mother's friend and, adults quickly exchange with breaking news. You listen carefully and then you say:
- Mom, who is Uncle Yura?
- Are you interfering in an adult conversation? And in general, why are you hanging your ears, shame on you! Close your ears! (I tie my ears with a handkerchief)
Mom says goodbye to her friend, and you run on.
- Mom, Masha is waiting for me in kindergarten, which…
- Get off! What are you talking about, there is no time now, we are late! Can you shut up! Shut up! (I cover my mouth with a handkerchief)
The child is already silent, but begins to pick up some branch on the go. Mom screams:
- What are your hands, that you stick them somewhere all the time, you can’t live without it! Throw it away now! Hands off! (I tie my hands with a handkerchief)
But then the child begins to jump, lift up his legs. Her mother screams at her in horror.
- Where did you learn this? What is it? Stop kicking your legs! Stay still! (I tie my legs with a handkerchief)
The child starts whimpering. Mom keeps yelling at her.
- What are you roaring?! Why are you crying, I ask you? Nothing to roar! Disgrace me! I told someone - stop crying, you hear me! (I tie my heart with a handkerchief).
Moderator: Look at this child, whether in this state he will be able to effectively communicate with peers, satisfy his needs, develop fully. All these actions and words of parents negatively affect the development of the child, but in each case a compromise can be found, help me.
Parents find a compromise to solve difficult situations uy:
- Do not blindfold or blindfold - speak in a calm voice, do not swear;
- Do not tie your mouth - listen to the child;
- Do not tie your hands - wash your hands after a walk;
- Do not tie your legs - put on rubber boots;
- Do not bind your heart - listen and understand the child.
Moderator: Together we have found solutions to the problem. You can't forbid a child to know the world, only in the knowledge of the environment and in communication with parents, the child develops and this affects the socialization of the child.
8. Game exercise "Forbid - allow"
Three colored sheets are attached to the board, corresponding to the prohibited zones.
green symbolizes the zone " Absolute freedom»;
yellow - zone "Relative freedom";
red - "Forbidden" zone.
Participants are asked to make a list possible actions children, distributing them into three main areas. The resulting options are analyzed: parents, together with the leader (psychologist, teacher), predict possible situations and mistakes.
Host: How much warmth of the heart is ruined due to the inability to understand the other and oneself. How many dramas, large and small, would not have happened if their participants and those around them had the ability to sympathize, forgive, love. You also need to know how to love, and this skill is not given by mother nature.
The biggest deficit that our children experience is the lack of affection. Parents sometimes do not find time, forget or maybe even hesitate to caress the child just like that, obeying some inner impulse. Fear of spoiling children causes parents to be overly harsh with them.
This task will allow each of us to show a little more affection, attention, love.
9. Working with the "Spectro-graffiti" set ("Spectromaps" by U. Khalkola, A. I. Kopytin)
Moderator: The photos are presented to your attention. Take 5-10 minutes to carefully examine the photos and select one or two of them that answer the question "What is most important to you in life in currently? once selected, the group member sits down in their seat, shows and comments on their photo. Please do not interrupt the story with questions and discussions, everyone just takes turns talking about their photo. After all participants talk about the selected photos, we can move on to questions and comments.
10. The final exercise "Wishing in a circle"

Target: Create favorable conditions for group work. To develop the ability of parents to decenter. Find out the expectations and concerns of parents. Actualize the image of the child in yourself.

Acquaintance with the rules of work in the group and their acceptance.

Maximum trust in each other. The first step is a single form of address for "you".
During the lesson, talk only about what excites you right now and discuss only what is happening “here” “now”.
During the session, talk only about what you think about what is happening.
Everything that happens in the group should not be taken out of it under any pretext.
During communication, only the positive qualities of the person with whom they work are emphasized.
Listen carefully to the speaker, ask questions only after he has finished speaking.

Getting the participants to know each other.

Call your name
Tell about your child
Tell me about the reason for coming to class.

1. Exercise "My name is my character"

Think about the meaning of your name. Do you like it, what does it express?

The task is to name the traits of your character, starting with each letter of your name. Within 2 minutes, name the character traits in the letters of your name.

2. Exercise "I understand you"

Instructions: Complete the examples below the way you think your child would have completed them:

I am happy when...
I get very sad when...
I get scared when...
I am angry…
I am very proud...

After the parents have finished the sentences, they will compare them with the children's answers (children do this test the day before with a psychologist). The degree of coincidence will speak about your ability to put yourself in the place of a child, about your ability to decenter.

Have a discussion about what was the coincidence.

3. Exercise "Why they scold me"

Each participant completes the following sentences:

“I scold myself for what I…”
“Others scold me for what I…”
“As a child, I was scolded for the fact that I…”

After each circle, there is a little time for discussion:

"What did you feel?"
"What might surprise you?"

4. Exercise "Little - protection."

Instruction:“Imagine yourself as a small child of 5 or 6 years old, look deeply into the eyes of this baby. Try to see his deep longing and understand that this is longing for love. Reach out your arms and embrace small child, press it to your chest. Tell him how much you love him. Say that you admire his mind, and if he makes mistakes, then this is nothing, everyone makes them. Promise him that you will always come to his aid if needed. Now let the child be small, the size of a pea. Put it in your heart. Let him settle there in the most comfortable corner. Do it gently and kindly. Fill this corner with blue light and the smell of flowers. Feel loved. Every time you look into your heart and see the little face of your child, give all your love, so important to him.

Feel the warmth that spreads over your body, softness and tenderness.

Discussion of the lesson, summing up.

Lesson #2

Target: help parents master ways of personality-oriented interaction. Transmit a positive image of the child.

1. Exercise "Psychological Sculpture"

Conduct reflection, pay attention to the fact that the best and most productive contact occurs when the interlocutors take the position of "eye to eye".

2. Exercise "Communication Distance".

Instruction: Participants are invited to start the dialogue sitting opposite each other, and then they need to move away from each other at a distance of at least four meters and continue to talk.

3. Exercise "Space of communication".

Instruction: Please turn your back on each other and start a conversation. Then share your feelings about whether the conversation was productive.

Information about how to make meaningful communication, in order to provide the child with a sense of psychological security, a sense of trust in the world, it is necessary to interact with the child not “next to” and not “above”, but together. An unconditional, positive attitude towards the child is very important.

4. Exercise "Mom and child"

Instruction: Participants are divided into pairs in which they play the roles of mother and child. "Mom" must express feelings for the "child" by touching his body (from head to toe), while it is necessary to accompany his actions affectionate words. After three minutes, you need to switch roles.

Have a discussion, who did you like to be more - a child or a mother? Why?

5. Exercise “What I like about my child is…”

Describe all the positive qualities that the child has.

Class discussion.

Lesson #3

Target: introduce parents to technology active listening, try to use such active listening techniques as retelling, reflection of feelings.

1. Exercise "Gift".

Instruction: participants take turns giving a gift to their neighbor on the left, but they do it non-verbally, that is, without words. After the circle is completed, everyone says what gift he received.

Information part. The facilitator talks about how listening can be passive (silent) and active (reflexive). Silent listening involves a minimum of responses (“Yes, yes”, “I'm listening to you”, a supportive facial expression, nodding in agreement. And if it is important for a child to speak out and be listened to, such listening may be quite enough. But when a child has emotional problem(he is upset, offended, failed when he was treated rudely) he must be actively listened to. Active listening creates a relationship of warmth, facilitates the solution of the child's problems. Active listening techniques are: retelling, reflection of feelings, clarification, summarizing (summing up) Retelling is a presentation in your own words of what the interlocutor said. The keywords of the retelling are “You say ...”, “As I understand it ...” The retelling is a kind of feedback child: "I hear you, I listen and understand."

Clarification refers to the immediate content of what the other person is saying. For example: “Please explain what this means?”, “Will you repeat it again?” Clarification should be distinguished from questioning. Asking can destroy the speaker's desire to communicate something.

Reflection of feelings is a pronunciation of the feelings that another person is experiencing. "I think you're offended." "You feel upset." Feelings should be called in an affirmative form, since the question causes less sympathy. This technique helps to establish contact, and increases the desire of the other person to talk about himself.

Pronouncing the subtext consists in further pronouncing the thoughts of the interlocutor. It should not turn into an assessment.

For example: "You could be more modest." Evaluation blocks the desire to talk about the problem.

Summarization is used in long conversations and negotiations ("So, we agreed with you that")

2. Exercise.

3. Exercise aimed at the ability to reflect the feelings of the child. Parents are offered situations, and they must describe the feelings experienced by the child and what they would answer him in these cases.

Situation and words of the child	Feelings of a child	Your Answer
Today, when I was leaving the house, a hooligan boy knocked the briefcase out of my hands and everything spilled out of it.	Anger, resentment.	You were very upset, you were very offended.
The child was given an injection, he cries "The doctor is bad."	Physical pain, anger.	You got hurt and you got angry.
The eldest son tells his mother: “You always protect her, you say: little, little, but you never feel sorry for me.”		You want me to protect you too.
Today, in a math class, I didn’t understand anything and told the teacher about it, and all the children laughed.	Shame, resentment.	You were very uncomfortable.
The child drops the cup, it breaks: "Oh my cup."	Fear, annoyance.	You were frightened, you felt sorry for such a beautiful cup.

Homework. In communicating with the child, use the methods and techniques of active listening.

In the final part of the lesson, the facilitator offers to sit comfortably, try to relax and listen to the “Underwater World” audio recording session.

Lesson number 4

Target: Help parents free themselves from destructive influences negative emotions. Introduce the types of parental statements that interfere with active listening.

Information part.

According to the American scientist Louise Hay: “Love is the only answer to any of our problems and the way to such a state is through forgiveness. Forgiveness dissolves resentment."

1. Exercise "Forgiveness"

Sit comfortably, relax. Imagine that you are in a darkened theater and there is a large stage in front of you. Put on the stage the person you need to forgive (the person you hate the most), this person may be alive or dead. And your hatred can be both in the past and in the present. When you see this person clearly, imagine that something bad is happening to him - something that has great importance. Imagine him smiling and happy. Hold this image in your mind for a few minutes and then let it disappear. Then, when the person you want to forgive leaves the stage, put yourself there. Imagine yourself happy and smiling. Imagine your mother when she was four or five years old - scared and longing for love. Reach out to her and tell her how much you love her. Tell her that she can count on you, no matter what happens. When she calms down and feels safe, put her on your heart. Now imagine your father as a child a boy of three- four years. He is also afraid of something and cries loudly. You will see tears streaming down his face. Hold it against your chest and feel it tremble. Calm him down.

Let him feel your love. Tell him that you are always by his side. When his tears dry, let him also become very tiny. Put it in your heart with you

Conduct a reflection after the exercise.

Information part. The leader says that Lately psychologists have identified several types of parental statements that interfere with active listening. These include the following:

Orders, commands. "Now stop it!" "Take away!" "Shut up!"
Warnings, warnings, threats. "If you don't stop crying, I'll leave." This will happen again, and I will take the belt!”
Morals, morals, sermons. You must behave properly. "You must respect adults."
Adviсe, turnkey solutions. “I would hit back if I were you!”
Proofs, logical arguments, notations, "lectures". "It's time to know that before eating you need to wash your hands." "How many times have I told you!"
Criticism, reprimands, accusations. "What does it look like!" “I did it all wrong again!”
Praise.
Calling, ridicule. "Cry-wax". "Don't be a jerk."
guesses, interpretations. “Probably got into a fight again” “I still see that you are deceiving me ..”
Questioning, investigation. "Why are you silent?" “What happened anyway?”
Persuasion, exhortation, sympathy in words. "Calm down." "Do not pay attention".
Joking, avoiding conversation. "Not up to you." "You're always with your complaints."

Practical exercise: Try to determine what type of erroneous statements the parent's answers belong to:

A five-year-old girl to her father (crying): “Look what he (two and a half-year-old brother) did to my doll. The leg is now dangling."

Dad: “Yes, really, but how did this happen?”

Daughter: I don't know! My ku-u-kolka is mine ... "

Dad: "Well, calm down, let's think of something."

Daughter: “I can’t, my ku-u-kolka ...”

Dad (joyfully): “Oh, I came up with! Imagine that she had an accident and became disabled: such a pretty disabled person. (smiling)

Daughter (crying harder): Don't laugh. I hate him too."

Dad: “What are you talking about! May I never hear such words again!

Daughter: "I'll go to my mother."

Homework for Parents: Observe your conversations with your child, especially when something has happened to him.

Try to pass the day without words of criticism and reproach against your child. Replace them with words of approval for any occasion. Look at the child's reaction.

2. Exercise.

Parents are invited to sit comfortably, relax as much as possible and listen to the Journey to Mars audio session.

Class discussion.

Lesson number 5

Target: discuss and analyze the situations that arose during the implementation homework. Learn how to effectively communicate with parents when solving problems in interaction with children.

1. Exercise "Glube"

Instruction: the participants pass the ball to each other, while saying what they like about this person.

Discussion of homework. Parents talk about what active listening techniques they used when interacting with their child.

2. Exercise "Family Commandments".

Participants are invited to write a list of family commandments (customs, rules, attitudes, prohibitions, habits, views that all family members adhere to). Then there is an interchange written in a circle. Experience shows that parents are interested in knowing what family life other people. This allows you to compare your ideas about it with the ideas of others.

Information part. The host talks about two forms of addressing another person: you - messages and I - messages. The American psychotherapist Thomas Gordon made a remarkable observation: it turns out that the majority of remarks used by adults are You - messages. You - messages often disrupt communication, as they cause a child to feel resentment and bitterness, give the impression that the parent is always right (You always leave dirt in the room, Stop doing it). I - messages are over effective way in terms of influencing the child in order to change his behavior, which the parent does not accept. I - messages differ from You - messages in that they allow an adult to express negative feelings in an inoffensive form, so the child's energy is directed not to be offended, indignant, angry, but to correct the situation. I - messages do not spoil the friendly relations between people. For example: Thomas Gordon offers this message scheme for a parent who is tired and doesn't feel like playing with his son.

2. Exercise.

The facilitator invites parents to practice using I-messages. He reads the prepared you-messages and invites the participants to reformulate them into I-messages.

Examples of you - messages

Well, what do you look like!
Stop crawling here, you're bothering me!
Could you be quieter?

Approximate contents of messages i - messages.

I do not like it when children walk around disheveled and I am ashamed of the looks of my neighbors.
It is difficult for me to get ready for work when someone is crawling under my feet, I stumble all the time.
Loud music makes me very tired.

4. Exercise "Palm"

Instruction: each participant draws the outline of his palm on a separate piece of paper, signs his piece of paper and leaves it in its place. Then everyone writes on these pieces of paper farewell wishes each other. After that, the participants read what was written.

5. Final discussion of the training sessions.

The facilitator invites parents to answer questions in writing.

What topic (class, or just information) seemed to you the most interesting?
What discovery did you make during the group sessions?
What changes that have taken place in the family would you note?
What would you like to add to the program, what topic to deepen?

The lesson ends with an exchange of impressions and opinions that arose during the training.

PHOTO Getty Images

1. Try to look at the world through the eyes of a child, detached from their own perception. Do this exercise for at least a few minutes a day so you don't forget how to the child lives in this world.

2. Imagine how you look and sound from a child's point of view in other words, imagine that you are your own father or mother. How would you correct your behavior: what and how do you say, how do you behave? Considering this, think about how you would like to build contact with the child.

3. Learn to see your child as perfect. Try to remember that he is perfect, even in those moments when it is most difficult: when he cries, when he got a deuce, when he broke his favorite cup - remember, he is perfect.

4. Reflect on what you expect from your child. Think about it: do your expectations match what he himself would like? Ask yourself: when I push him to this or that decision, am I doing it because I want it, or because it is in his interests? Ask yourself at the same time, how do you express your expectations and how does this affect the child?

5. Cultivate altruism in yourself: Always put the interests of your children ahead of your own. After that, think about whether there is some way to achieve your goals too, without sacrificing children. You will be surprised at how much can be done without putting the interests of children in the background. Especially if you have patience and a desire to find a balance.

6. If you feel confused or lost, think about the situation as a whole, focus your thoughts on the child, on the family, on yourself. Try to go beyond thinking, even very logical ones, try to perceive the world intuitively, try with all your being - body, soul, feelings, mind - to understand what needs to be done. If the understanding of exactly how to act does not come, it may be worth refraining from any actions whatsoever until the reality becomes clear. It is important to be able to wait.

7. Try Mastering the Art of Silent Presence that grows over time from the practice of mindfulness. Listen to yourself, to what is happening in your body, mind, speech. Contemplate yourself.

8. Learn to live in tension without losing balance. Eugen Herrigel, in his book Zen in the Art of Archery, described how he was taught to pull the bowstring to failure and so freeze without releasing the arrow. At the right moment, the arrow mysteriously fired "by itself." You can learn this by forcing yourself to live any, even the most difficult, moment of your life, without trying to change anything and without hoping for any specific outcome. You just need to focus on the present as much as possible. You need to learn to see that if you trust your intuition and instincts, you can work with any outcome of events. A child, especially when he is still young, needs you to be the center of balance and trust in his life, a reference point by which he can correct his course. The target and the arrow are equally necessary to each other. Unnecessary efforts will not help them connect, unlike wise attention and patience.

9. If you suddenly deceived the trust of a child, even just a little bit, be sure to ask for forgiveness. Apologies are healing. An apology shows that you have thought about the situation and now understand it better, or that you are now looking at it from a child's point of view. At the same time, do not abuse the apology: if you ask for forgiveness too often, the word "sorry" will lose its meaning, or the feeling of guilt will become habitual. This is risky because hiding behind our guilt, we hide from responsibility.

10. Every child is unique and has different needs. Everyone looks at the world in their own way. Keep in your soul the image of each of your children. Wish them well.

11. Children often expect us to be strong, to be clear and unambiguous. Let this strength and clarity grow out of generosity and conscience, and not out of fear, self-confidence and a thirst for control. Being an attentive parent does not mean being indifferent, weak, and immensely indulgent; but it is also impossible to suppress a child and be rude to him.

12. The greatest gift you will receive from children, is you: part of being a parent is self-discovery and learning to be meaningful. We must be rooted in the present in order to share the best that we have with the child. We only have our today. Let's enjoy it the best way For our children and for ourselves.

Jon Kabat-Zinn is a biologist. In 1979, he was at the forefront of "spiritual medicine", the first to suggest using the practice of meditation in medicinal purposes. Founder and Director of the Stress Management Clinic medical center University of Massachusetts. Author of the books “Wherever you go, you are already there. mindfulness meditation in Everyday life"(Klass, 2000) and "The Practice of Meditation" (Eksmo, 2013).

See M. & J. Kabat-Zinn for details. "Everyday Blessings: The inner work of mindful parenting" (Hyperion, 1997).

(As part of the week of psychology)

Target: optimization and harmonization of intra-family relations by means of the game.

contribute to the creation positive emotions children and parents in interaction with each other;
instill in children a sense of trust, self-confidence;
improve parent-child interaction.

Equipment: audio recordings with funny children's songs, a ball, a blindfold, a candle, matches, chairs according to the number of participants, a box (box), emoticons according to the number of participants.

Course of the training

To the cheerful music, the participants of the training go to the hall and sit down on chairs prepared in advance, arranged in a circle.

Psychologist : Hello parents! Hello guys! We are glad to welcome you to our gaming training.

IN preschool age leading activity is play activity. Children love to play anywhere and in anything, and if parents also connect to their games, then the game becomes not just a game, but a source of joy because the child and parents communicate through the game.

The game has powerful developmental characteristics. It affects the development of all cognitive processes. The game is of particular importance for the development arbitrary behavior, which without a doubt will be needed with admission to school, which means that you need to train it now.

"Affectionate Name" First, the psychologist, starting with himself, names his full name, and then your name in a diminutive form. Then in a circle, everyone performs this exercise until the turn again reaches the psychologist.
"Hugs". Psychologist: " How often do you hug your children, just like that, for no reason? Do you think there is required amount hugs to keep wellness?

The famous American family therapist Virginia Satir recommended hugging a child several times a day, saying that 4 hugs are necessary for everyone, just for survival, and at least 8 hugs a day for good health. And, by the way, not only to a child, but also to an adult.

Parents and children are encouraged to hug each other as tightly as possible.

The game "Guess the child ». Psychologist: “How well do you know your children? Now we believe it."

Parents are blindfolded in turn, children sit on high chairs. Every parent needs to find their child by touch.

Game "A story about mom." The children are invited to take turns telling about their parents with whom they came.
Dragon Tail game or "Golden Gate". at the discretion of the psychologist.
Exercise Favorite Behavior. Parents are encouraged to remember and say what they love about their children's behavior.
Dance warm-up for everyone (dance of little ducklings). The song "dance of little ducklings" sounds. All participants of the training, together with a psychologist, perform a familiar dance.
Exercise "+ qualities". Parents are asked to remember and name 3 positive qualities your child.
Candle exercise. A lit candle is passed around in a circle, whoever has a candle in his hands should wish for tomorrow, something good for the group.

Psychologist: « Dear Parents! Dance, sing, play with your children. Good child – happy child. Happy child means happy and healthy parents.

Reflection. It is proposed to parents and children to evaluate the usefulness, significance, necessity of the training by putting emoticons of different colors in the box.