How not to be afraid of the upcoming birth: advice from psychologists. How not to be afraid of childbirth the right attitude
The 9 months of pregnancy are coming to an end, you are in the joyful expectation of meeting with the baby, but various fears often creep into your head. How not to be afraid of childbirth, how to get rid of fears, insecurities - the topic of our article.
After the test and analyzes confirm pregnancy, a woman's life begins new stage, which is often accompanied by fears, phobias. The closer the long-awaited day of childbirth, the more panic increases.
Main fears:
- fear of the unknown;
- fear of pain;
- strong feelings for the baby;
- fear of breaks.
These fears most often worry expectant mothers, we will try to deal with each of them in detail, learn how to deal with them.
How to stop being afraid of childbirth - we study the process
All women who give birth for the first time are afraid of childbirth because they do not know what awaits them. Now there are many ways to learn in detail everything about the upcoming process, but you should not get carried away, the video often talks about pathologies, possible complications- all this information definitely does not contribute to the mood for positive.
How to get rid of the fear of the unknown:
- Sign up for courses for pregnant women, choose those where they conduct not only lectures, but also practical exercises. Experienced teachers will tell you what to do and what not to do during pregnancy and childbirth, how to cope with your fears.
- Chat on the forums with more experienced mothers, it is clear that for each woman the process of childbirth proceeds individually, but the stories of women who have already given birth will help to imagine a little better what to expect, and that everything is not so scary in reality.
- find in advance good maternity hospital, a doctor you can trust.
- Do not forget to pack an alarm case so that when contractions appear, you do not rush about in search of the right things.
Often women are afraid that suddenly something will go wrong during childbirth, they will miss the beginning of the process, they will not have time to get to the hospital.
You must remember that the birth process consists of 3 stages - from the first contractions to the start of labor, it takes 8-12 hours, sometimes even more, this time is definitely enough to get to the hospital. There are also rapid births, but they happen only in 1 woman for every 200 women in labor.
Impetuous does not mean instantaneous. The process lasts 2-4 hours, which allows you to call an ambulance or come to the hospital on your own.
As for the fear of missing the beginning of the process, it is quite difficult not to notice the contractions. If it is difficult for you to calculate the frequency of contractions yourself, install a special application on your phone or tablet - just press the button at the start and end of the contraction, then the program will do everything itself.
How to survive childbirth if you are very afraid of pain
The birth process is accompanied by pain, but you need to understand that childbirth is not painful, it is difficult. Your body is working hard to help the baby to be born faster, the muscles are constantly tensing, relaxing - treat this as work, after which an incomparable reward awaits you.
If you are not nervous, then the pain during childbirth will not be felt so much. During the process itself, endorphins (hormones of joy) are produced, during pregnancy the number of nerve fibers in the uterus decreases - all this contributes to natural pain relief.
Pain during childbirth helps a woman to control the process - if the contractions gradually become more painful, then everything is going well, and you will soon meet the baby.
Learn to listen and trust the pain, not be afraid of it. A positive attitude, the ability to relax will help you calmly survive the delivery process.
It is fear that increases the pain during childbirth - the body begins to actively produce adrenaline, serotonin, dopamine, all these hormones contribute to a multiple increase in pain.
How to learn to relax?
- First of all, breathe properly: for a count of 1-4, inhale through your nose, for a count of 5-10, exhale through your mouth. During attempts, you need to breathe often, as if you had just finished a run.
- The second way - imagine that you are a snowman, so big, beautiful, with a carrot nose, a bucket instead of a hat. And then the sun came out, and so warm - the snowman begins to slowly melt, first the head, shoulders, chest, and so on to the very heels.
“I’m afraid to give birth on my own - it’s better to have a cesarean”
Caesarean section - not the most The best way avoid pain during childbirth, although now the operation is performed not only for medical indicators, but also at the request of the mother. After a natural birth, you can get up and go, take care of your baby on your own from the first minutes.
After a caesarean section, you will be sent to the intensive care unit for a day, during the recovery from anesthesia there are many discomfort, and pain after surgery will bother you much longer than after childbirth.
A caesarean section is an unpleasant procedure for a baby too - the child's body does not have time to prepare for the birth, against the background of severe stress, such children often get sick in the future, they often develop neurological problems, depressive states.
As for painkillers, anesthesia, the opinions of doctors differ on this issue. Most experts believe that a woman should take Active participation in childbirth, to feel the epicenter of pain in order to properly direct attempts.
Other gynecologists believe that if a woman is afraid, does not tolerate pain to the point of panic, then in this state there is no normal delivery speech can not be, so it is better to resort to painkillers.
Fear for the baby
The fear of harming a child is one of the most common and powerful phobias of expectant mothers.
Women think that during the passage through the birth canal, the baby is very painful, uncomfortable, so they try to push less. But this tactic is erroneous, it is the delay in the process of childbirth that is the main cause of various complications and health problems in the child.
Nature made sure that it was easier for babies to be born - the bones of the baby's skull are soft and elastic, with the full opening of the uterus, the baby calmly passes through the birth canal.
There is an opinion that children during childbirth fall into some kind of suspended animation and practically do not feel anything.
To tune in to a successful, quick and easy birth, you need to start in advance, positive emotions will help with this.
How to create positive mood during pregnancy:
- Ditch the gray, sizeless maternity hoodies, buy yourself some comfortable overalls, t-shirts with funny slogans, give preference to clothes in bright, sunny colors.
- Pamper yourself - buy flowers, Tasty food, interesting books, beautiful pictures.
- Ask your husband to massage your feet and lower back every day - such sessions bring you together well, help you relax, forget about all the hardships of the day, and your sleep will be much stronger.
- Drink herbal teas with mint, chamomile, lemon balm, motherwort, but be sure to first consult with your doctor.
- Have an aromatherapy session every day with essential oil lavender, pine needles, citrus fruits.
- Walk more - regular communication with nature has a beneficial effect on the condition nervous system.
- Visit spas, beauty parlors, allow yourself to be beautiful.
- Make a rearrangement, repair - it helps well to distract from your own fears.
Partner birth is a great way to reduce mom's panic during the process itself, presence and support loved one at a time like this is essential.
What to do during childbirth so that it goes smoothly
To make childbirth easy, strictly follow all the recommendations of the doctor and obstetricians, do not refuse additional medical manipulations, stimulation labor activity.
What to do when contractions start:
- Take all the necessary things, do not forget about the documents, go to the hospital. In no case do not try to get behind the wheel, it is strictly forbidden to drive a car in this position.
- Do not refuse food before childbirth - you will quickly get tired. To prevent involuntary bowel movements during delivery, you will be given an enema. But even if trouble happens, do not worry, obstetricians have seen a lot in their lifetime, they will be able to cope with such a situation.
- Walk in the prenatal ward, you can jump on a fitball - this will help reduce pain syndrome, promotes better disclosure of the uterus.
- If you need to pierce the bladder, do not be afraid, this procedure is safe for mom and baby, and absolutely painless, because in amniotic sac no nerve endings at all.
- During attempts, be sure to press your chin to your chest, in no case do not push on your face - spend a lot of effort, and the blood vessels in your eyes will burst.
- Breathe properly, rest between contractions, gain strength.
- Many women in labor say in their reviews that songs help to cope with pain during childbirth. So if you feel like singing, sing. Or laugh. Or recite poetry.
To avoid ruptures during childbirth, take regular special exercises that improve the elasticity of the vaginal muscles, use special creams. The perineum is cut only in the presence of serious medical indications- a large head of a child, severe pathologies of vision, hypertension in a woman in labor.
Conclusion
“I am afraid of childbirth” - this phrase is often heard by doctors and relatives of pregnant women. But we have already figured out where fears come from and how to deal with it. We hope this information will help you not to panic during pregnancy and childbirth.
If you, while pregnant, met a friend who told you about all the horrors upcoming birth- don't listen to her. Rather, listen, but try not to take the information so personally. After all, each body is individual and childbirth can take place in different ways. However, absolutely all women experience fear of childbirth, regardless of the presence of older children. Firstborns are afraid of childbirth, because they do not know what awaits them. Women who give birth again are also afraid, and precisely because they know what to expect. However the right attitude, awareness and inner peace will help you overcome the fear of childbirth.
Why is a woman afraid of childbirth
There are several reasons why women look forward to the day of childbirth with dread. To overcome this fear, you need to try to understand what exactly the expectant mother is afraid of?
What will happen?
This is one of the main questions that worries many pregnant women who give birth to a baby for the first time. Fear of the unknown is one of the most serious and powerful. To get rid of it, you need to be informed. No need to look online visual videos about labor activity - for many emotional women they can be overly impressive, excitement can lead to premature birth. Also, do not look for information in medical sources, since most often pathological cases are described there - you do not need to load your head with unnecessary information. You can find various brochures and other teaching aids in maternity hospitals that describe the process of childbirth in detail (but quite aesthetically and correctly). You can be like courses for pregnant women, in which the doctor talks about how the birth should take place in stages. Ask women who have given birth in the family to talk about the process, but they must understand that this should be done gently, without emotional excesses. Correctly presented information is the basis of the calmness of a pregnant woman.
Will I be able to endure the pain?
Childbirth is a natural process that billions of women have gone through, are you the weakest of them all? Modern conditions medicine helps to prevent various complications and unforeseen situations. With severe and unbearable pain, a woman may ask for pain relief. It can be both general and local. Epidural anesthesia will allow you to not feel at all lower part body. However, it is worth resorting to such measures only in the very last resort, because such anesthesia has many side effects. One famous gynecologist admits that on natural childbirth with five fingers opening the cervix, almost every woman asks for an epidural anesthesia, and with eight fingers - C-section. But this only says that it remains to wait quite a bit and the attempts are about to begin.
Will everything be ok with the baby?
This is another point that a woman is worried about. After all, childbirth is stressful and a serious test not only for the mother, but also for the child. During the passage of the baby through the birth canal, his breathing stops, he lacks oxygen. However, here nature has provided everything. The baby during childbirth plunges into hibernation, as it were, his body does not need in large numbers oxygen, heart rate increases. The baby practically does not move at the time of passage through the birth canal. Surely women remember how a newly born child looks like a doll - lifeless. And as soon as the doctor cuts the umbilical cord and pats the baby on the pope, he seems to wake up, begins to actively scream, move his legs and arms. When you first hear the voice of your child, all the hardships of childbirth will fade into the background, because you will have a baby in front of you, the meeting with which was so long-awaited. There is no need to worry about the condition of the child during childbirth - modern medical equipment allows you to monitor the heartbeat and condition of the fetus throughout the entire birth process. If any problems arise, doctors can always take the necessary measures.
These are the main fears that haunt a woman before childbirth. Moreover, there is a pattern that links the fear of a woman and her pain during childbirth. If a woman is afraid, all her muscles are in spasm, it is difficult for the cervix to relax and the opening takes a long time. You need to try to relax and get through this moment. Remember, at the end of a difficult journey you will meet your baby, isn't it a miracle? You need to understand that with each contraction you are getting closer to delivery, the pain will not last forever. Just a little more and everything will remain only in the memories.
If at the mere thought of childbirth you are shackled by fear and horror, you need to try to prepare for childbirth and calm down. Here are some tips to help you overcome your fear of childbirth.
- Some women say that they gave birth 10-12-20 hours. In fact, there is no need to be afraid of this, because the pain from contractions does not last forever. At first, the contraction lasts about 10-20 seconds every 20 minutes. It hurts only three times an hour - this is normal, it is not at all difficult to endure such pain. The pain is reminiscent of menstrual pain. Over time, contractions become longer and more frequent. But even before the very birth, between minute contractions, there are small intervals during which you can take a break from pain. The most painful are the attempts, but they do not last long. 2-3 strong contractions, during which the baby will already be born. During attempts, it is very important to have an obstetrician-gynecologist who tells you when to push and when to be patient. The presence of soft tissue ruptures in the perineum depends on this.
- Choosing a doctor is another crucial moment. If you are so afraid of childbirth, you should not go by ambulance to the maternity hospital by registration. Talk to a doctor you trust in advance. Having a reliable and experienced specialist during childbirth will allow you not to think about the correctness of the actions of the medical staff and you can concentrate on labor.
- To make the delivery process go faster and with less stress, train your muscles in advance. Of course, no one says that you need to pump the press and pull the barbell, but acceptable physical exercise must be. These are yoga and gymnastics for pregnant women, swimming, frequent walking.
- If it makes you feel calmer, you can take a loved one with you to the delivery room - your mother or husband. Partner childbirth allows you to emotionally unload, and support native person will surely do the trick. Do not worry about the aesthetic side of the issue, at the moment of attempts, a man is usually asked to leave.
- It is very important to learn how to breathe properly during childbirth. You need to inhale air through your nose, and exhale through your mouth, preferably wide open. Such breathing improves the elasticity of the ligaments, gives an analgesic effect, makes the cervix open faster.
- You can relieve pain during contractions with the help of movement - walking dulls pain and allows the uterus to open faster. You can also jump on a fitball - it also gives the desired relief. Be sure to massage the lower back - if the placenta is attached to back wall uterus, this will also bring relief.
- Some pregnant women worry about going into labor prematurely. Do not be nervous, after 35 weeks the child is quite viable and can survive in new conditions for him. To make anxiety go away, just prepare a bag for the hospital in advance. Collecting things will not only add stability to situations, but also distract you from unnecessary thoughts.
- Prepare all the necessary things that you may need in case of a sudden onset of labor. This exchange card, passport, other documents, keys, money, things prepared in advance for the hospital, telephone. In a conspicuous place, write the phone number of relatives, taxi, doctor, husband. Agree with a neighbor or grandmother about the need to suddenly leave the older child. Think about how you will go to the hospital. Closer to birth long trips must be canceled in order to avoid unforeseen situations.
- Some mothers worry that they will undergo unnecessary medical procedures. However, anything can happen during childbirth. Do not insist on the naturalness of the process, because the main thing for you is birth healthy baby. However, you have the right to ask what is being done and why, find out about the purpose of any prescribed drugs. If you want to give birth naturally, look for a doctor who supports your aspiration. However, remember that an unforeseen situation may force the doctor to choose a different way of delivery, at these moments it is better to trust the professionalism of the doctor. After all, the life and health of the child is at stake.
- While preparing for childbirth, you should know how to act when the first contractions occur. As soon as you feel the first "signals", you must definitely warn your husband or acquaintances so that they are on the alert. Take a shower, take hygiene measures. Pack a bag, send the older child to grandma, feed the cat, etc. No panic and fear - everything is going according to plan.
This simple, but such necessary knowledge will help you to approach childbirth more calmly and not be afraid of such a complex, but absolutely natural process.
Some hard-hearted people are surprised - after all, they gave birth earlier, went to the field and returned with a child, no doctors and equipment were needed. But such skeptics can be objected - "before" and mortality was high, many children died in the birth canal during a long process of childbirth, and a woman died from bleeding, in the same place, in the field. Fortunately, modern medicine allows us to bear and give birth healthy child even if something went wrong. Childbirth is wonderful, your baby's birthday will be the best day of your life.
Video: how to get rid of the fear of childbirth
The human body is a very thoughtful, wisely built system. In order for childbirth to go smoothly and correctly, there is a zone in the brain that triggers the so-called dominant of childbirth. When this function is enabled, childbirth becomes a priority process, while everything else is paused. Thanks to this feature, women give birth with a bunch of chronic diseases, childbirth can take place in extreme conditions - and all this without harm to the fetus and mother.
If you saw a woman in labor who is having contractions, you could not help but pay attention: her eyes are slightly blurred, she may not respond to stimuli or take unpredictable actions: now you need to walk around, now - sit and breathe ... These oddities are a manifestation of the work of the dominant childbirth: what we used to call consciousness (which is dominated by logic), recedes and the process of childbirth is led by a certain natural mechanism, implicated in natural biomechanics.
Our body has powerful capabilities - in particular, we are able to block the launch of the dominant of childbirth by willpower. How? For example, to resist in every possible way the state in which the dominant of childbirth plunges a woman - to do household chores, give valuable instructions to her husband (after all, he remains at home alone!), worry about others and not pay attention to himself. So we block the adequate functioning of the nervous system, and the dominant of childbirth remains in a state of dormancy. In this case, childbirth will not go according to the natural scenario, the most favorable for mother and child. How to return to the best scenario?
Family planning has entered a new stage - now it is possible to provide such a future for your hormones and eggs that they will not prevent you from giving birth to a child without problems in 5-10 years. Here's what women of all ages need to know about fertility.
The path to complete peace of mind before childbirth
To enter the process of childbirth easily and naturally, you just need to allow the launch of the dominant of childbirth.
Drop everything! As soon as contractions begin, the main task of the woman in labor is to relax and surrender to the process. And for this you need to quit all household chores. There is for real devoted to family women who, during the first hours of labor, have time to cook soup for a week in advance, tidy up and iron their husband's shirts. Remember: these feats are performed to the detriment of the generic process. The very first contractions should turn you off from everyday exploits.
Gather in advance. A packed bag with which you will go to the hospital, prepared clothes, a set of phones to call after the start of labor (husband - to work, mom - to the resort, obstetrician - to the hospital) - all these precautions will allow you to quickly deal with the everyday part of the generic issue and relax.
Find helpers. In order for the birth to be as comfortable as possible, it is advisable to agree in advance with the maternity hospital where you will give birth. If possible, it is even better to look in advance and book a room, talk with doctors and obstetricians. It is also important to find a person (people) in advance to help you after childbirth. IN traditional societies such a question is not worth it: after childbirth, numerous relatives help the woman and the baby: while you are in the maternity hospital, who will buy everything necessary for the child (diapers, cosmetics, diapers - everything that has not yet been purchased for some reason), who will help you and your baby in the first days of recovery after childbirth. Remember, a young dad is not always able to navigate what a woman and a baby need. For him, childbirth is no less, but in some ways even more stressful than for a woman. Therefore, it is better to ask one of the stress-resistant relatives, a friend or a hired nanny for help.
Plan your birth. The duration of childbirth laid down by nature is about 20 hours. In the middle of the last century, this process began to be accelerated with the help of medicines, and 12-hour births began to be considered the norm. In any case, whether you will give birth naturally or with the help of medications, the period of opening of the uterus will take plus or minus 10 hours. And this time should be enjoyed! Therefore, if you have the opportunity to order an individual prenatal ward think about what you will do. Take your favorite music or movies with you, invite your husband, relatives, friends (colleagues?!) - now, in principle, everything is possible. Do you want to leave a memory of this moment and order a photo shoot? Or do you want to enjoy being alone? Think - and implement! A clear plan and understanding of how you want to spend this time will significantly reduce the level of anxiety and neutralize fears.
Frightening mistakes of pregnant women before childbirth
Experienced friends. There is a type of woman who likes to scare pregnant women. For some unknown reason, they enthusiastically tell expectant mothers how terribly they suffered in childbirth. The recommendation is simple: if they have suffered, that is their problem – and you do not need to repeat this sad experience. There are many women for whom childbirth has become one of the happiest moments in life. Listen to uplifting, inspiring stories. And keep unpleasant contacts to a minimum.
Not my responsibility. In the Western world, the process of pregnancy and childbirth takes place under the vigilant supervision of doctors. According to official medicine, pregnancy is equivalent to dangerous disease: from the very first day, the task of physicians is to look for possible deviations in fetal development and maternal health problems. This carefully planned approach saves many lives, however, with psychological point vision, negatively affects the expectant mother. She no longer needs to develop sensitivity to her body, listen to the state of the child, turn on that intuitive mechanism that makes a woman a responsible, self-confident mother. Responsibility for the health and well-being of the child rests with physicians.
Of course, you should not completely abandon medical support during pregnancy and childbirth. But it is better to treat it with a grain of salt. Do you know why competent gynecologists do not tell pregnant women about all the test results? Because there is nothing to hammer in your head! Talk to your child, feel him, enjoy how he grows inside you - how every day your communication becomes more interesting and deeper. Here he listens to music and calms down, now he wakes up and does exercises ... In this case, at the time of childbirth, you will have contact with a small person, hormonal system which these same births and launches. You will feel with your whole body what is best for him and for you, and childbirth will be your first in life. joint business You and your child will work together. Many stories tell about how, for example, a child, right before the birth, sat with his legs towards the exit, but his mother asked him, stroked his stomach - and he turned over. You can always write it off as a coincidence - or you can try to take responsibility for your pregnancy and childbirth.
What should a man do when his wife is giving birth?
Childbirth is an exciting process for a woman, and for a future dad, it’s a nightmare! A woman giving birth is in a difficult and exciting moment, she has no time to reflect, while a man at this time cannot do anything at all. Just wait and worry.
Therefore, it is better to take a man with you to childbirth only if you have the strength and desire to take care of his psychological comfort. If you don’t have the strength, take care of yourself and the child, and let the man wait at home and cope with the excitement on his own.
How to help a man who is present at childbirth? Very simple: to say what to do. During the opening of the cervix, when contractions are going on, you can watch a movie together, he can help you walk or even dance with you - a very pleasant activity that helps expectant mother deal with pain. When the efforts begin, tell him to hold your hand or hug and press his cheek to cheek. If you have enough strength to show him all the beauty of the birth of a new person, this day can be one of the best for both of you. happy events in life.
What is a woman ready to do when they start ticking her The biological clock, A perfect man not on the horizon? Our heroine, after weighing all the pros and cons, decided to have a baby
How not to be afraid of childbirth? Any pregnant woman, approaching childbirth, is looking for ways to overcome fear. It is natural to be afraid of childbirth, but if childbirth is for the first time - especially. Having received the news of pregnancy, the girl experiences a wide range of feelings. Only on the movie screen is it shown as extreme delight, being in bliss, euphoria. However, in reality the most mature person unprepared for such drastic changes. Here anxiety arises in any woman, attempts to predict how life will change, whether it is worth being afraid of childbirth, I am afraid of pain during childbirth. Anxious background takes a lot of strength, wastes energy.
At the same time, motherhood is turned on in a woman, which helps to overcome anxiety in connection with pregnancy, while it is more difficult for a man. Therefore, it is worth waiting for time, providing an opportunity to mature this new parent role. Do not expect a violent reaction of joy from a man when you hear that he will soon be a father. On the contrary, be understanding about this, recognize important point reversal in life, giving the event time to comprehend it calmly.
Often, having learned about the future appearance of an heir, people begin to rapidly prepare the material base, from repairing an apartment to relaxing in a sanatorium. However, psychologists focus on the fact that it is important to prepare the internal psychological space for the appearance of a child. To prepare this base for an easy, smooth and productive birth, make and display your family tree, you can draw or even draw regularly your family tree. This also includes the transfer from the grandmother, for example, jewelry as materialized signs "we are with you, for you, we love you." After all, visual stimuli are very important, they will give you strength through awareness of yourself as part of the family, its continuation and the patterns of your pregnancy and upcoming birth.
How not to be afraid of labor pain? Explore breathing techniques and childbirth efforts. Remember, for a successful birth, you need not only to wait, but also to be able to help the child, including physically. Bring the skills to automatism, which involves at least 21 days of training.
There is a widespread myth that pregnant women should not worry, that pregnancy is a time when you need to focus on the positive, not notice anything negative, in fact, this is to ignore a significant part of life. Bad consequences This myth is that with the suppression of negative emotions, the degree of experience of positive emotions also decreases. If we have removed all the negativity from life, there will be no positive either, an unemotional state, often leading to depression, will remain.
Therefore, it is important to experience all emotions as they are, since emotions are markers of need, they are neither bad nor good. During pregnancy, a woman more emotionally experiences all the events of her life. When a woman becomes pregnant, the activity of her cerebral cortex, the new brain that is responsible for rational thinking, decreases. At the same time, the dominant of pregnancy appears in the subcortical structures of the brain - the focus of excitation, which we will see by making an MRI for a woman. Subcortical structures such as the pituitary gland and hypothalamus are activated, which are closely related to the limbic system, which is responsible for emotions. When we reduce the amount of emotions, suppress them - the pituitary gland and hypothalamus also decrease their activity, and with them the amount of hormones necessary for the healthy maintenance of pregnancy decreases.
Therefore, it is important to live everything fully that happens, it is important not to ignore any aspect of life. If the emotions that arise are complex, difficult to experience, like pain, resentment, guilt, disgust - you should not pretend that they do not exist, but find the way thanks to which you will be able to be with them, interact, live them, find those people who will understand you and they can share them with you. It’s good if these are close people, but if they are unable to provide you with psychological support, without evaluating, without judging, without advising what you should do, while you don’t ask for it, you can contact a psychologist, psychotherapist, doula with a request .
How not to be afraid of childbirth? The advice of psychologists in this regard is: do not try to become less worried, sensitive. On the contrary, pregnancy is a process in which many emotions come to the surface. Often these are previously suppressed feelings that are now letting you know about yourself through change. hormonal background– natural physiological changes. Do not ignore, look for ways to live and transform these emotions. Most often, a woman faces fears, doubts, and insecurities during pregnancy.
“I'm afraid of pain during childbirth,” the woman realizes. Faced with the question of how to stop being afraid of childbirth, it is not useful to turn a blind eye to your feelings, thinking that everything will pass by itself, it will be resolved, and, on the contrary, it is useful to look in this direction, interact with those experiences that emerge, getting to know yourself more deeply. True psychological preparation consists in working with our complicated feelings that can take place during pregnancy, in recognizing oneself during pregnancy, in childbirth - what are my attitudes and introjects on this score.
Perhaps consciousness tells you one thing - how much you want a child, how great and wonderful it is, but emotions tell you something else, you are afraid, you experience not simple, not the most pleasant feelings. Perhaps some beliefs about childbirth that you learned in childhood will come up, someone else's experience that is superimposed on your perception of pregnancy, irrational fears about yourself, the child or the birth process in general. Psychological preparation It will also help resolve the complexity of the relationship, ideally, what should be done before childbirth so that during pregnancy it does not entail consequences. It is worth building relationships with your family, both your own and your husband's family, and even with friends.
Pregnancy pushes a woman against herself, with her true living, you will find yourself closer to yourself, your feminine essence, its realization in motherhood, its body, naturalness. Perhaps you will feel more wild, instinctive, emotional, open, feminine. Pay attention to the signals that come from the unconscious, from the body, because self-knowledge is always interesting and exciting, what pregnancy contributes to, like nothing else, use it as a resource.
How to tune in to childbirth and not be afraid?
How to stop being afraid of childbirth? First, determine what scares you specifically, because all women are afraid of different things. Someone is afraid of pain in contractions, another is worried that not everything is ready for the baby to appear at home, a third is nervous about how she will take care of the baby on her own, because her husband is constantly working, while her parents, for example, live far away. The point, in order to understand what exactly you are afraid of, is contained in not only sitting and being afraid of it further, but doing everything in your power to avoid it. If you're worried about pain during contractions, find out what breathing techniques and postures can help ease your contractions. If you are afraid that you will not be able to cope with caring for a baby on your own, find a nanny who will help you in the first stages. Having done all the right things, you will feel much calmer.
How not to be afraid of childbirth and pain? The second recommendation is not to listen to your girlfriends who are familiar in stories about how they gave birth. After all, not all friends understand why you are interested in how their birth was resolved. You will learn this for the purpose of calming down. An understanding girlfriend will set you in a positive mood, but many, on the contrary, like to embellish what happened. You, however, will not be able to know how everything really was, and there is no point in listening to these stories. Childbirth - in the extreme individual process, and your birth will not be similar to any of your friends, and will even be different from the birth of your mother when you were born.
I'm afraid of childbirth, what should I do? Limit yourself from stories of how someone gave birth, you should not watch videos with the details of the process or read the forums of recently held mothers, where each shares her complications. Because those who have gone well simply do not leave feedback on the forums. If, of course, you want to have important information about the harbingers of childbirth, how to recognize contractions - get it from reliable sources.
If a woman is faced with the problem of "I'm afraid of pregnancy and childbirth", then the best way courses specifically for pregnant women will cope with this. There are both paid classes and free lectures at the state antenatal clinic. You will be competently told how the entire period of pregnancy and the process of childbirth takes place, you will be able to ask questions to doctors, midwives, thus filling in the gaps in understanding that you may still have. It is important to provide yourself with a positive informational background. After all, the one who has mastered the information owns the world.
The next recommendation is to prepare everything for the day of delivery. Starting with a bag for a trip to the hospital during contractions and ending with learning everything about the hospital itself. Go to it in advance, determine the best route to different time days, note how long it takes to get to it. Visit the day in the maternity hospital open doors or ask for a tour, show you the birthing room, wards, meet your doctor, midwife, ask all questions in advance of delivery. And when the contractions begin - you just call the doctor, he will drive to the hospital, and you will definitely know what you should do. Try to prepare everything that you need, so that later you can just go through the items on the list, calmly get together and feel confident.
How to tune in to childbirth and not be afraid? When everything is ready, try to distract yourself from thinking about future births as much as possible. After all, there will always be a lot of things that need to be redone before childbirth, which will not leave you time to worry. Imagine the day of childbirth not as a hard day, but a day full of work, but beautiful, which will bring you a huge reward. Women who have already gone through the birth process remember exactly the moment of meeting with a baby, which cannot be compared with anything, emotions of joy will simply overwhelm you. Imagine also how you will celebrate this birthday every year, how you will remember it with joy. Record a video for the baby, which he can then watch, ask your husband to make you meaningful gift, which you have been waiting for a long time - make this day a holiday. So you will be in joyful anticipation of this day, counting the days until the planned date, as opposed to being afraid.
How to survive childbirth if you are very afraid of pain?
Should I be afraid of childbirth? Is it possible to influence the pain of a woman during childbirth, the fear of pain? Experts say that you should not be afraid of childbirth, on the contrary, they recommend preparing for them. The body of a woman is often likened musical instrument, for example, the guitar. In order for this instrument to sound good during childbirth, you need to properly tune it.
How not to be afraid of childbirth? The advice of psychologists on this subject is as follows: we are preparing the body for the upcoming birth, it should be soft, relaxed, because if your body contains a lot of tension, this only intensifies the pain. Therefore, during pregnancy, especially before childbirth, you need to master simple universal exercises for relaxation and muscle stretching. Learn to breathe correctly, because our usual, everyday breathing is not enough for childbirth, you need to increase the capacity of the lungs, adjust the upper breathing, lower breathing, full breathing.
It is also necessary to understand what trance breathing is, because childbirth is a trance process. Proper breathing you will be able to regulate the pain syndrome in childbirth. It is not for nothing that our grandmothers had the skills to vote, because a woman screams in childbirth, but this is not an ordinary cry, we need the power of the voice, for which the voice should be opened, developed. There are even special tribal songs. Find out the key reflex points for effective impact on them. Usually, women in labor hold on to their lower backs, which is correct, because it is in the zone of the lower back that there are many points that echo with reproductive system. They can also be influenced by those who help in childbirth, massage, stroke, tap, which needs to be learned.
During her pregnancy, a woman may be afraid that she has a low threshold of sensitivity, thinking that then she is simply doomed to the strongest labor pain. Also, women are more susceptible to pain than men, and pregnant women are more susceptible to pain than non-pregnant women. Faced with this experience, a woman can think about pain every day, live in such fear, programming herself for future painful childbirth. Physiologists explain that only 10% of what we feel as pain is irritation of pain receptors. Also in the uterus, in the cervix, there are extremely few receptors. Almost all pain receptors of the uterus are concentrated where the cervix passes into the uterus - in the isthmus. And the pain will be felt when the baby passes in this place, irritating these receptors with the head. The remaining 90% of the sensation of pain is in the head. For example, women with underdevelopment of the brain, microcephaly, give birth without suffering - precisely because they do not live this pain so deeply in their consciousness, do not wait in anticipation of pain throughout the pregnancy, but, faced with it, they simply experience this pain purely as physical sensations. Also, according to statistics, 4% of women experience orgasm during childbirth, not pain. Perhaps you belong to this group?
I'm afraid of the onset of childbirth, what to do? The first thing that makes sense to do in order to reduce the fear of pain is not to resist this information, a future event. Having overcome psychological resistance, even the threshold of pain sensitivity can be changed, because this is a physiological parameter. When you have weak muscles, it is worth exercising, and they will become strong and elastic.
Also consider whether you really sincerely want to get rid of fears. After all, according to the psychological law, every action has a secondary benefit. Perhaps this is how you can manipulate your family, emphasizing what terrible event you should experience? Then they will experience a sense of guilt in front of you and will try to make amends for it. Or they will consider you a heroine and praise you, which you may need if praise was not enough in childhood. However, when you explore these secondary benefits more deeply, it turns out that they are not so beneficial, because they destroy your relationship, do not allow it to be authentic.
Another interesting pattern of how our brain works is that it registers what we say. If we constantly talk about how it will hurt, bad and terrible for us, then the brain accepts this information and then recreates this picture during childbirth. According to the recommendations of experts, words with a negative message should be replaced, for example, not “painful fight”, but “strong, effective, good fight that leads to disclosure”. Understanding and saying that the stronger your fight is, the better and faster the child will move towards meeting the world and with you, you will help yourself and him.
It is also worth knowing about the body's ability to secrete natural drugs, endorphins and enkephalins, which, entering the bloodstream, seem to cloud the mind, reducing pain. Therefore, during contractions, you will first become more painful, but after a few, natural painkillers will begin to develop, which will dull the perception of pain. Also help reduce pain you can yourself, working with the body in birth process listening to him, to the child.
So, what will you decide - spend many hours waiting, in fear of pain, or actively work on yourself in order to beautifully and easily give a new person to the world? The choice is clear, obvious. And you can really tune your body, your consciousness so that they sound like a beautiful song during childbirth.
Are you afraid to give birth? If your answer is yes, then this article is definitely for you because I was terribly afraid too. Moreover, my fear grew every day before the expected date of birth. But I have learned to deal with it. "How?" - you ask. Now I will talk about my experience.
The more you know, the less you worry!
There is a proverb: “to be aware is to be armed”. In general, I like to keep everything under my control, the unknown scares me. Therefore, I began to study childbirth, how it proceeds, how I can consciously participate, influence them. I was lucky, now there is just a lot of qualified information. Here are her main sources:
1. Courses for pregnant women. We had them free of charge in our antenatal clinic. Don't miss out on these courses. Moreover, you can be absolutely sure of their quality, because they are carried out qualified specialists. Unlike dubious paid ones. You just need to remember the schedule and come on time.
I confess, I did not go to all the topics. I was only in the classes "Childbirth" and "Care of the newborn." From there I learned a lot of useful things, especially how to breathe during the whole process, how to relieve pain with the help of breathing, etc.
2. Books on childbirth. I didn’t read books on childbirth, but my friend, who was too lazy to go to courses, prepared herself for them.
3. Articles on the Internet. There are also a lot of interesting and useful things. It is especially informative to read the experience of girls, how they coped, how they acted, what mistakes they made. I learned a lot of information about partner births from articles, strengthening my decision to give birth with my husband.
Have knowledge? Now set up!
Being filled with information is one thing. The most important thing is to set yourself up for a successful outcome of childbirth. Not for a split second did I run into my head the thought of something bad, or that something could go wrong. I worked on positive attitude I sincerely believed that everything would go well and smoothly.
Thoughts on daughter
In order to distract myself, I often thought about our daughter. What will she be, will she have plump lips like daddy and Blue eyes, like mine? I was wondering what we would call her. These thoughts helped me forget all the negative things that I had to go through. 
In conclusion, I would like to say that you need to think about the bad as little as possible. The only thing you will remember is that incredible feeling that you will experience when your miracle is given into your hands, the rest will fade into the background, will be forgotten.
Are you afraid of childbirth? What helped you deal with your fears?
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