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Preservation of pregnancy: what to take with you to the hospital? What to take with you to save

The expression " lie down to save", This is slang, which is not so long ago, but firmly rooted in modern Russian. If we translate this expression into medical language, then “lay down for preservation” means hospitalization (treatment in a hospital) for the prevention or treatment of a condition such as a threatened abortion.

Planned hospitalization.

When it comes to prevention, a woman "goes to stay" in a planned manner. What does it mean? The meaning of such hospitalization is to prevent the state of the threat of termination of pregnancy, to conduct preventive treatment. The indication for such hospitalization is, first of all, spontaneous interruption previous pregnancies. Planned hospital treatment is indicated for multiple pregnancy, with some endocrine diseases, it is not uncommon for IVF pregnancy, especially if this pregnancy was preceded by prolonged infertility. As a rule, the terms of hospitalization coincide with the critical periods of pregnancy (8-12 weeks, 18-22 weeks and 28-32 weeks). A hospitalization plan is drawn up by a doctor when a woman registers for pregnancy, and the pregnant woman is ready in advance and is determined that she will have to go to the hospital. In this case, it is psychologically easier for a pregnant woman to accept the fact and the need for hospitalization.

Emergency hospitalization.

A completely different situation arises if signs of a threatened abortion appear suddenly and unexpectedly. In this case, the doctor suggests that the woman go to the hospital as a matter of urgency. Such hospitalization is called unplanned or emergency.

Indications for urgent hospitalization in the 1st trimester of pregnancy are: the presence of pain in the lower abdomen, spotting, ultrasonic signs termination of pregnancy. In the 2nd trimester, indications for hospitalization are changes in the cervix (shortening, opening of the external os), cramping pains in the lower abdomen, and placental attachment disorders. In the 3rd trimester, the most common indications for maintaining pregnancy in a hospital setting are threatening preterm birth, impaired placental function. Violation of the integrity of the fetal bladder. In some cases, with this pathology, pregnancy can be saved.

Often, signs of a threatened abortion are obvious only to a doctor. This situation occurs, for example, when the signs threatened miscarriage visible only on ultrasound, and a woman may not be disturbed at all. In any case, a situation where signs of a threatened abortion appear unexpectedly, a proposal to go to the hospital, change habitual image life, the comfort of home conditions, the presence of relatives and friends nearby - causes anxiety in a woman, a sense of protest. And, of course, you can understand it.

Doctor, maybe in a day hospital?

The first and most frequently asked question is: “Is it necessary to go to the hospital? Can I get treatment at home or in a day hospital?”

The point is that the most important condition to maintain pregnancy is to limit the mobility of a woman. The state of rest and bed rest is one of the main conditions for preventing miscarriage. You perfectly understand that it is almost impossible to achieve this at home. It is impossible to protect yourself from a lot of household, seemingly insignificant troubles, watching TV, there will always be a temptation to look at the computer, discuss with your spouse in the evening how the working day went. And much more.

Regulation of all processes during pregnancy begins with the cerebral cortex. The very word "threat" evokes associations: fear, anxiety. And the causes of the threat often begin with an emotionally disturbing state in which the pregnant woman is. A chain of reactions starts, which adversely affects hormonal background where the pregnancy is taking place.

Physical and emotional peace is the most important condition for successful treatment. In fact, this is the main treatment. It is impossible to achieve this state at home, or in a day hospital.

But in a specialized hospital, such conditions are created that allow you to limit external influence and ensure physical peace. All this, combined with treatment, diagnosis and round-the-clock medical supervision, allows you to save the pregnancy.

If you are going to be hospitalized.

In this case, the internal acceptance of the situation is very important. Remember that getting upset, worrying, especially crying when there is a threat of termination of pregnancy: firstly, it is pointless, and secondly, you can aggravate the situation of the threat. So, we treat the fact calmly and responsibly. Just say to yourself, “It’s not good for me to worry. Time will fly by quickly. And I will soon be home again, with my family.” If it doesn’t work out, try to see the pluses instead of the minuses in the situation. Let's try together. Most importantly, it’s good that the symptoms of the threat were recognized on time, which means that you have every chance to keep the pregnancy! If you are not yet in maternity leave- take a time out, get distracted from everyday work, from public transport or from the steering wheel of a car.

Take a break from daily household chores. The advantage is that you can go to bed early, rest during the day. It is quite possible that in the hospital you will meet those who are close to you in spirit, nice people. New interesting communication always enriches. If the hospital where you will be staying is part of the structure of the maternity hospital, you can receive an important necessary information about doctors, about the features of the institution where you may have to give birth. You will be able to use the free time that you have to feel alone with your unborn child, to feel it better.

What to take with you to the hospital?

From clothes: Knitted or flannel dressing gown, 2 nightgowns, underwear, socks, slippers that can be processed. Shower slippers.

From hygiene items: One shower towel, 2 small towels, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap, shampoo, shower gel, comb, daily pads, toilet paper, sanitary napkins. Nail file, cream, deodorant, hygienic lipstick. Take glasses instead of contact lenses.

Take your cup, spoon, plate. drinking water. Dried fruits, nuts.

From the documents, take your passport, insurance policy, exchange card, and ultrasound scans if you have them.

How to make hospitalization comfortable?

You can spend time in the hospital with great benefit for yourself and help your body cope with the threat of termination of pregnancy if you master simple relaxation techniques (relaxing the body). To do this, you will need an audio player with headphones and specially selected music with the sounds of nature (the sound of the sea, birdsong, the sound of rain). You can use music in combination with special texts for relaxation. Take special literature, which describes the relaxation technique. Daily practice for 30 minutes a day will be enough to master the skill and even reduce the amount of medication to treat a threatened miscarriage. Relaxation is a non-drug treatment for the threat of interruption. In addition, relaxation skills will come in handy during childbirth. It's good if your player has audio books about pregnancy, parenting, art books. Classical music also has a healing effect. It helps lower blood pressure, improve sleep, reduce anxiety.

In order to relieve emotional stress, it is very good to use needlework: embroidery, knitting, weaving with beads. Your monotonous finger movements will help create the meditative effect that comes from turning the rosary. Immersion in a light trance state helps to relax, reduce the excess potential of tension in the cerebral cortex. If needlework is not your thing, you can simply collect pictures from puzzles.

Drawing. Take pastel crayons and an album with you. Spontaneous drawings, especially drawings in a circle (mandala) also have a healing effect.

Reading. Well, when will you have another opportunity! Be conscious in your choice of literature. Choose magazines, books for pregnant women. From fiction, take good, light, humorous books with you.

A lot depends on your support in such a difficult period for your wife, daughter or sister. It will be wrong if you support her doubts about the advisability of treatment in a hospital. Do not question the doctor's authority. You all have a common goal - the birth healthy child. On the contrary, find arguments to convince the woman that treatment is necessary, and namely inpatient treatment. During communication with a woman, when she is already in the hospital, protect her from negative information from the outside. Don't disturb or worry her. Say only positive things. Do not burden the pregnant woman with household problems. On the contrary, show how skillfully you cope with household chores. Make small surprises when you visit, romantic gifts. Perhaps a forced separation will refresh your feelings. Makes them even brighter and warmer.

According to statistics, it is known that about 15% of pregnancies are interrupted spontaneously, mainly in early juices. And precisely due to the fact that pregnant women receive the necessary treatment in a hospital, this percentage does not increase. We sincerely wish that your pregnancy proceeded without complications. But if it suddenly happens that your doctor suggests that you "lie down for preservation", use this chance as an opportunity to keep the pregnancy and give birth to a healthy baby.

The article was written for the magazine "9 months". #3 2012

Sokolova Tatiana. Obstetrician-gynecologist. perinatal psychologist.

The need for hospitalization during pregnancy can arise for many reasons. Whatever they are, a woman needs to listen to the doctor and go to the hospital. Keeping your baby alive and maintaining your own health at this stage of your life is the most important thing. When going to the hospital, you need to take the most necessary things with you. After all, sometimes there is simply no one to bring something from home later. So, what should be taken for treatment?

When going to the hospital, women are sometimes in a great hurry, they grab into their bag both what they need and what is completely useless. It can be difficult to focus on the essentials. Therefore, we offer a cheat sheet. So, let's go through the categories of the necessary:

  1. Cloth. In some maternity hospitals and hospitals, a woman does not need anything but underwear. Most of these establishments allow you to bring clothes. Recommended two nightgowns or pajamas, bathrobe, bandage and underwear, slippers. In some maternity hospitals, fluffy soft slippers are not allowed, only washable ones.
  2. Hygiene accessories. These are body and face towels. As a kitchen, you can use what you will be given in the hospital. Toothbrush, paste, toilet paper, shampoo, soap, wet wipes, daytime and night creams be sure to take it with you. As for pads, you need to take daily pads, and if there is bleeding, also pads with high absorbency. If you take with you manicure set, then you will have the opportunity to slowly tidy up your fingernails and toenails.
  3. Food. If you have digestive problems or are overweight, then it is better to take only mineral water no gas and fruit. In the hospital, the food is tolerable, so you will have a chance not to gain excess weight, given that most of the time you will have to lie down. If there are no problems with weight, then perishable products, most likely, you simply will not be allowed to bring.
  4. Important little things. The most important of them is mobile phone with charging. Take also a notebook, a pen, crossword puzzles, magazines, books, everything for embroidery, in a word, something that will help you spend your time usefully. As for the laptop, many gynecologists believe that placing it in the abdomen while sitting in bed negatively affects the fetus and is a risky pastime. By the way, the player the best option, because there may be women in the ward who snore, and he will help not to hear snoring.
  5. Documentation. Be sure to take your passport, insurance policy and exchange card with you to the hospital if you already have one.

And then follow all the doctor's prescriptions and specify the names of the medicines that you will be prescribed. Feel free to ask about their pharmacological action. If you have been hospitalized for more than 30 weeks, then you will probably need to undergo cardiotocography, which will assess the condition of your baby, identify abnormalities in his heart rhythm.

Some maternity hospitals operate schools for pregnant women. In addition to lectures, you can also attend courses in special gymnastics or physiotherapy exercises.

Warn your loved ones about the established visiting hours, and if the need arises to bring something else, rely on them.

In large cities, it is possible to be hospitalized not in the usual department of pregnancy pathology, but in a commercial maternity hospital under a contract, or in a comfort ward of a maternity hospital. Such chambers are equipped with bathrooms and showers, microwaves, electric kettles, TVs. Service wards are usually designed for individual treatment. They are allowed to visit loved ones. In this case, much of the above list will not have to be taken with you.

Especially for- Elena TOLOCHIK

Pregnancy is, of course, not a disease, but special condition when you need a careful attitude of the pregnant woman to herself and supervision by an obstetrician. During pregnancy, a woman's body is rebuilt, the load on it increases, so be prepared for the fact that some difficulties may arise during pregnancy.
Unfortunately, the majority of pregnant women need some kind of treatment, and 30% of them need inpatient treatment. Then the doctors strongly recommend that the expectant mother go to the hospital for a while - "for preservation." Even the very concept of “lie down for preservation” determines the main condition for managing women with pregnancy pathology: rest.

When do you need to go to save?

If at the appointment the doctor suggests that the pregnant woman go to the hospital, almost everyone has a question: maybe it’s better to stay at home and lie down? Someone is afraid of the conditions of stay (crowded wards, it is impossible to go out and see relatives and friends), someone is unfriendly medical staff, someone is afraid of harming the child with endless examinations and medicines that need to be taken. For many women, this is the first experience of being in a hospital. And it is especially difficult for them, because the unknown leads to anxiety, fear, anxiety.
If you have doubts about the need for hospitalization, be sure to share these thoughts with your doctor, find out what is the reason, if there are alternative methods of treatment. Sometimes it is possible to replace inpatient treatment with outpatient treatment, for example, a visit to a day hospital in a consultation or hospital, or treatment at home with more frequent visits to a polyclinic doctor to evaluate the effectiveness of treatment.
Day hospital- this is a department short stay where a pregnant woman spends several hours a day while performing the necessary procedures (for example, droppers), and after they are completed she goes home. You can discuss this option with your local gynecologist. However, you must understand that the conditions of treatment in the hospital and outpatient are significantly different.

When refusing hospitalization, discuss the following points with your gynecologist:
1. Will you receive a certificate of incapacity for work ( sick leave) for the period of treatment.
2. This will be an outpatient stay-at-home treatment or a visit to a day hospital.
In a day hospital, most medicines will be provided by insurance (free of charge for the patient), while outpatient treatment at home requires you to purchase the medicines yourself.
3. What necessary examinations you can undergo in a polyclinic, and which ones you will have to undergo in other medical centers (check with your doctor where it is best to do this).
4. How much time will it be necessary to spend daily in the clinic for examination.

After receiving answers to these questions from the doctor, ask yourself the question: “Will these conditions provide the main thing for maintaining pregnancy - peace?” Do not forget that, most likely, no one will free you from household chores, traffic jams, queues for examinations. And, based on the answer you received, decide what is best for you - hospitalization ("all inclusive") or a mix of home comfort and a clinic.
If the doctor categorically insists only on inpatient treatment, listen to this - it means that he has serious reasons for this. The need for hospitalization may arise planned or urgent.

In many conditions, already from the beginning of pregnancy, the doctor can warn that in certain deadlines you will need to go to the hospital. This planned hospitalization. This is especially true for women who have various diseases internal organs such as arterial hypertension (high blood pressure), diabetes, heart and kidney disease. Also, hospitalization is planned for women with miscarriage (previously had 2 or more miscarriages) and other adverse outcomes of previous pregnancies, or if the current pregnancy did not occur naturally, but with the help of hormonal therapy or IVF (in vitro fertilization). Such hospitalization will be critical periods(dangerous in terms of miscarriage and premature birth) and for the period in which the previous pregnancy was lost.
In the case of planned hospitalization in the hospital, first of all, an additional examination is carried out, which is not possible on an outpatient basis, and prophylaxis possible complications pregnancy. The timing of such hospitalizations can be discussed with the doctor in advance, they can be shifted by 2-3 weeks if necessary.

emergency hospitalization Recommended for health threatening conditions future mother health of the baby and termination of pregnancy. In this case, refusing hospitalization, a woman may lose her only chance for a successful pregnancy.
The need for hospitalization may arise at any stage of pregnancy, starting from the first days and ending with those cases when childbirth does not occur at the expected time (pregnancy prolongation). Women up to 12 weeks of pregnancy are hospitalized in the gynecology department of the hospital, and after 12 weeks in the department of pathology of pregnant women of the maternity hospital.

Expectant mothers sometimes, due to certain circumstances, go to the hospital for preservation. Sometimes you should spend time in the hospital not only before the onset of childbirth, but even from the very beginning of pregnancy, in order to maintain both your health and the health of the baby. You can go home in the evening, and be in the hospital during the day under the supervision of a doctor.

Why lie down to save

The reasons can be different, and the most important ones should be highlighted:
Age. Too young age of the pregnant woman (13-17 years). There is a threat of premature birth and miscarriage, as well as a number of pathologies in the field of gynecology. Age 35+ can also be not that dangerous, but after all, a person’s body is individual and if the doctor decides to keep it, you should obey, because age-related changes, whatever one may say, are irreversible and anything can happen.
Genetic predispositions to rapid childbirth.
Isthmic-cervical insufficiency ( with her, as a rule, they usually come to the hospital in the morning and go home in the evening, but depending on the threat to the woman’s body and fetus).
The threat of miscarriage (there are a lot of reasons, the doctor will establish them).
Increased uterine tone and other health problems or the threat of miscarriage.
In fact, conservation falls completely on different reasons, they are established by the doctor, and it is advisable to follow his advice without amateur performance.

What to take with you to save


Bed sheets (take two sets). Wrap one tightly in a bag and put it in a nightstand, naturally use the second. The hospital has, of course, bedding sets, but it's better to have your own. You can sign it, this will make it easier for the nurses when they wash it if you do not take it home (everything can be).

Towels. Take three pieces. Large for bathing, small for hands or just washing and some kind of table towel (for dishes or just wipe your hands).

Dishes. A cup, plates (shallow and deep), plastic bowls (two pieces, for cookies, cake, and for other products that will have to be stored in the refrigerator), they must be signed, a spoon / fork, your own knife. And take a box for all these "things", and, of course, dishwashing liquid and a sponge.

Toiletries . Take a big bottle liquid soap, you will have enough of it for a long time, a large bottle of shampoo and a bar of soap (preferably for children, let it be, you never know, it doesn’t ask for food). Washing powder (anything happens) is better than liquid, of course, but if powdered, just rinse things well. Toothpaste and brush

Hygiene. Panty liners, diapers for adults (just in case), hygienic diapers, pads for 4-8 drops, hypoallergenic wipes (preferably for babies), toilet paper(two or three rolls).

Things. Bathrobe, nightgown, underpants (take about five for a week, and wash them daily), warm clothes(gaiters, sweater, sweatpants, jacket, "trowel", warm "kangaroo", socks, shoes). Slippers (preferably rubber, they are easier to wash), light clothing.

Do not forget about personal money, hide it in a secluded place for every "fireman".

Products. Do not take a lot, there will be little space in the refrigerators, and especially in the heat, food can go bad. If you have someone to bring food to, it’s better to let it be every two or three days (fresh in a bowl). There is a canteen in the maternity hospital and the prices there are quite reasonable, and if you want something hot, you can have a snack with fresh borscht, and then yogurt and follow the diet (salads, sandwiches, etc.).


When planning to save, do not forget the most important thing - patience and expectation of the hugs of a cute little man whom you will give birth to and who will become your light in the window, because for him you can endure everything.

Absolutely these days healthy people can not be. According to the law of meanness, if bad things can happen, they will definitely happen. Among my relatives, friends and acquaintances, there is not a single one who has not been hospitalized "for preservation" at least once. Naturally, they all experienced it. And where to go?..

And yet forewarned is forearmed. So here are some tips for future sufferers.

The first day. Humility

It is clear without words that you do not feel joy from the fact that you have thundered into the hospital. But be prepared for the fact that no one will comfort you. And they won't regret it either. And without sympathy will have to do. Nurses, apparently, have seen enough of everything in their difficult working career, so they adhere to a constructive position: "Pregnancy is not a disease, and in general it is to blame." This is the norm, and far from the worst. Possible option: "Another one on my head! And so much work!". It is pointless to fight the system. So - humility and once again humility. Let's get back to earth.

The first test of the first day in the hospital "in preservation" is the passage of the admissions department. No matter how many questions you have to answer your gynecologist before, and no matter how carefully she fills out yours, you will in any case be subjected to interrogation with passion. Oh no, I personally don’t mind talking about myself, my beloved! If only this pleasure doesn't last more than an hour... Further — we get rid of personal things. More precisely, we hand them over for storage. Among the things there will definitely be some kind of "crime" that will cause an unkind comment from the receptionist. And if the "crime" is not discovered, they will find fault with something in you yourself. It might be too much long nails on the hands or too bright makeup. No, the fact that you, in general, did not plan to go to the hospital, will not be taken into account. Then they will shave. In this technically complex procedure, the nurse will put all the irritation that has accumulated on you, so, sending you to the department, most likely, she will shine with a happy smile. Probably from the consciousness of a duty well done ...

Hooray! You've arrived at the branch! We are waiting again, sir ... Most likely, the head nurse will take a lot of time to determine which room to put you in. Another "lot" will be spent on explaining to you in an accessible (even too accessible) way what tests and when you will need to pass and where to put them. What there will definitely not be time for is the fact that at least briefly and at the same time kindly explain "it is possible and impossible" of this particular department of this particular hospital. So for the next couple of days, you'll be dressed as a sapper unleashed on a minefield.

But now you've made it to your room. To your bed. Hello. She made the bed. Dismantled things. Relax early! It's time to socialize. Based personal experience, I will say: there are two types of roommates - very unsociable and too sociable. somehow magically this key quality is simultaneously inherent in all your roommates. So if you ignore you the whole first day, then they will do it all together. And to climb into the soul with questions of a personal nature, too. Which option is better - I do not know. This is for an amateur. Personally, I can stand sociable neighbors more easily, probably because I myself don’t go into my pocket for a word ... Conclusion: no matter how sad you may be on this first day in the hospital; no matter how the medical staff treats you, no matter what executions you are subjected to, no matter how unfriendly the neighbors turn out to be; no matter how far the toilet is from your room, and no matter how long you look for it for the first time, find the humility to endure all this with a smile (a wry smile is a variant of the norm). So another day has passed on the way of your meeting with the most beloved, best, most desired and expected baby in the world.

Second day. Patience

Unpleasant moments of adaptation behind. You know where the buffet, the toilet, the nurse's station, the shower room... In general, you can live. More life is better if you manage to get along with your roommates. Although here it’s how lucky: they can be sweet, polite, tactful, well-mannered women, looking forward to babies with impatience and joy. Other options are also possible. So, once I was in the hospital with my neighbors, on the second day I still did not know their names. What kind of communication is there! Or vice versa, one of my ward neighbors was so fond of chatting, abusing personal questions (okay, personal - this can still be tolerated; what about questions about my income, salary and property from a person whom I see the second day!) that I am with a huge looked forward to the moment when sleep interfered with her ability to speak incessantly ... But the most worst case was like that. The lady could not live without cheap tobacco and beer, which her husband regularly supplied, apparently understanding the suffering of a pregnant woman with understanding. Apparently, out of the same compassion, the husband provided this lady with a laptop with Internet access, but without headphones. Knowledge on the Internet was limited to "shooters". So the three of us (myself and two quite adequate neighbors) were forced to listen until 4 o'clock in the morning as the lady mercilessly dealt with the next monsters. And how surprised we were when we discovered that this lady categorically does not wash! When, on the third day of her stay in the ward, the “aroma” from her body and stale clothes could no longer be extinguished or camouflaged by airing, we girls, perhaps too well-bred, ventured to ask how she feels and whether she wants to freshen up , the lady replied that she felt great, just like at home (apparently, she did not abuse hygiene at home either). In desperation, we asked her to wash urgently. She was very surprised and refused: "I'm afraid of catching a cold!". After persistent persuasion, she went to the shower room, and we, immensely happy, ventilated the ward and waited for her return. She returned, refreshed, proud of herself, and dressed in the clothes and linen in which she had gone to bathe. Silent scene. In short, I sincerely sympathized with the neighbors when I was the first to be discharged. So you will definitely need patience when communicating - both with neighbors, other patients, and with medical staff. And not only on the second day, but also until the very discharge.

Let's get back to patience. There will be appointments - injections, droppers, medicines - be patient. There will be mandatory measurements - pressure, temperature, weight - be patient. There will be numerous examinations and tests - ultrasound, ECG, blood tests, urine tests, etc., etc. - be patient. There will be inevitable queues. Everywhere. Be patient again. You and I remember why you are here and for whom you will endure anything. And so another day has passed.

Day three. Adoption

On this day comes the realization of the inevitability of the situation. Yes, something went wrong and now you're here and the doctors are trying to make things better. Yes, the hospital regimen is very different from your home regimen. Yes, most likely, the feeding is disgusting. Yes, injections and drips are a treat for masochists, but you would rather enjoy eating caramel cheesecake. Yes, it is often stuffy in the wards, the beds creak, and it is impossible to sleep. Yes, there are too many strangers, and regardless of your psychotype, you are forced to communicate with them. So it is necessary. You need to be patient so that the baby is fine. And you take it for granted. After all, few of us are stupid enough to worry about something that cannot be changed. Of course, I don't mean really dramatic situations. On this day, there is a positive moment. Not only do you accept. But they accept you. Roommates - no matter how unsociable they may be - put up with your appearance and existence in "their" ward, no matter how "intolerable" you may be. Nurses accept you - seeing that you are disciplined and unhysterical (lack of discipline and frequent tantrums of patients - nightmare all nurses). They now more often refrain from harsh remarks addressed to you, realizing that you did not deliberately decide to play on their nerves. Accept the situation and your family. They make time and adjust their visits to the hospital's visiting hours.

Husbands are a separate story. They don't tend to dramatize the fact that you ended up in the hospital at all. A stereotype firmly sits in their heads that for a woman to endure and give birth to a child is like going to the toilet: it is not always pleasant, but it brings relief. So most husbands, sending their wives to the hospital, are not very worried, often experiencing even undisguised joy and relief from a temporary return to "bachelor life". And even the absence of favorite homemade cabbage soup does not affect the situation.

So, today you accepted the situation, she accepted you, and it became easier. Is it true. Take it easy. And if you remember more often why and for whom all this, then it is completely tolerable.

Day four. Yearning

That's how it always is. Once you have come to terms with the situation and accepted it, the situation itself has already changed. On this day, one of the neighbors in the ward is often discharged. Or take away for childbirth. Or they take you in for surgery. And although you understand intellectually that she has already “deserved” it, that she has been here for a long time (at least longer than you), that she, after all, needs to give birth! And you're still early. All the most advanced auto-trainings are powerless before the magic phrase "I want too!".

I also note that most of us are quite capable of spending a couple of days away from home and even away from relatives and loved ones. But a longer period is a completely different matter! How is he / they there without me? The house is probably a mess, the refrigerator is empty, the daily routine of children is irrevocably broken ... I'm almost sure that relatives manage without you, if not "excellent", then at least "good".

But it is difficult for all of us to come to terms with the fact that we are far from being irreplaceable... The situation is aggravated if the hospital/maternity hospital is under quarantine (this often happens in autumn and winter during flu epidemics). It is ten times more difficult to be apart, not being able to cuddle an older baby and receive a comforting bear hug from her husband. In short, the fourth day is dreary. What can you say? It is possible only with the words of one of the ancient and wise: "This too shall pass."

Day five. Depression

Perhaps some resilient and optimistic lucky woman is able to avoid this stage, but I have not met such. Some are just well encrypted. Everything comes together. You've been here for so long... And it won't be long before they're discharged... Even as long as there's no light at the end of the tunnel. I missed the people close to me. Tired of strangers. Tired of tasteless feeding, of creaking and such a non-native hospital bed, on which you have not had enough sleep for a long time. Perhaps his hands hurt and are bruised from droppers, and his buttocks from injections. Plus, it's downright boring. Yes, I can remind you why you are actually here. Remind you that you will eventually give birth small miracle and very quickly (maybe even too quickly) you will forget how hard it was for you today. But today it won't help. Hold on. There is nothing more to add. Although there is something to add: my personal statistics show that it is on the fourth or fifth day that it becomes physically worse. Apparently, the body on a subconscious level decides to "support" you in this way. Some people get worse general condition, someone gives out bad tests. Refrain from this nonsense. Be smarter. Forewarned is forearmed. Everything will be fine soon.

Day six. Hope

Here comes the light at the end of the tunnel. It becomes better, easier, health and analyzes improve. Yes, and what's the sin to conceal? The standard course of treatment in Russian (free) hospitals lasts from seven to ten days - then they are discharged. And even if it doesn’t get better, if only it doesn’t get worse! So you have the prospect of being discharged. That's when you readily agree to everything! More tests? Certainly! Inspection? Please! Got a couple drops left? We'll definitely finish it! Just let me go home...

Day seven. Apathy

You stop hoping. You get tired of waiting. You get tired of being a good girl, not whining and doing your best. Everything gets up in the throat. You automatically do everything that is required of you, calmly endure pain, stay away from conversations and generally away from people. You are in a cocoon. There is a sign on it: "I went into myself - I will not be back soon." My advice is to stay there. For now, this is the best option.

Day eight, nine, ten. Expectation

The doctor rejoiced you - already almost desperate - that the extract shines. Oddly enough, with great joy mental strength not anymore. But this is nonsense. What the hell are powers? Home! The waiting begins. It all depends on your character and temperament. If you exist in life "with an awl in your ass", then the wait will be long and painful. If you know how to keep emotions under control, then it will not be difficult to wait. Well, then - discharge, goodbyes, wishes of healthy babies to neighbors - and home!

Note: Pay attention to what an interesting effect is obtained when the stages and days are superimposed on each other. Once I happened to go to the hospital and ended up in the same ward with a girl (I hate it when they say "woman" - in my opinion, it sounds pompous and unfriendly), which I would not call otherwise than a "groom". Okay, I have a non-conflict character. Then it turned out that my first day coincided with her fourth (see descriptions above), and, having survived them, we even became friends.

Conclusions. Of course, it is better to do without hospitalizations at all, but who does this happen to? .. And therefore we are looking for pluses.

  1. They will treat you (after all, they put you in for a reason!) and in Once again well examined.
  2. You will find new friends (at least you have a chance).
  3. You will have a rest from the house routine.
  4. You will rest (secretly and just a little) from loved ones (and they will rest from you) - everyone needs a break sometimes, especially it will not hurt before such a global event as the appearance of a baby. healthy baby you!

Elena Timofeeva

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Your profession can cause premature aging, regardless of whether you love your job or not. This is evidenced by the results of a new study by Merz Aesthetics, according to which almost two-thirds (63%) of Russians believe that their work causes premature aging. Regular delays at the office, lack of sleep, strict deadlines, difficult goals and pressure from the employer lead to increased stress, which is already familiar to representatives ...

The birth of a child is one of the most significant events in a woman's life. But there are times when a child, not yet born, becomes undesirable. The reasons for this may be social insecurity, moral and physical unpreparedness for this event. According to the information and analytical online publication Segodnya, a public organization "Women for Life" has appeared in Russia, which wants to help such unwanted children appear. The main purpose of the movement is...

Dark chamber, twilight in the corridor, screams of women and instructions from doctors.! Fear, pain, and endless happiness are present within the walls of any maternity hospital.! General prenatal room for six beds, terribly uncomfortable beds ...... on each bed for a woman in labor, I lie by the window. They called me for procedures, I get up smiling, the midwife looked into my eyes and said to the doctor, well, this one will give birth for a long time (a treacherous chill ran down my back) I ask almost in a whisper, why is it taking so long? The answer almost killed .... everyone who comes to give birth ...

Before pregnancy, I never had problems with veins, I always had smooth and slender legs. And as soon as I got pregnant, it immediately became difficult to walk in heels, although my stomach was not yet visible. Further - worse. The legs began to swell, pouring lead, hurt at night. At first, the gynecologist said that this is normal for the expectant mother, because the load increases, but when I began to get out vascular network It became clear that the matter was serious. Then I specifically asked the doctor about how ...

Discussion

In general, actovegin was prescribed to my mother along with phlebodia, she had terrible edema and some kind of brown-cyanotic skin on the top of her feet became. When it was cured, everything went away. And they prescribed me one phlebodia, more precisely, diosmin, but they gave it to the pharmacy. Helped without actovegin. Of course, I didn’t have everything running like that.

The worst thing is genital varicose veins. I didn’t think that this could happen, it’s a terrible problem. I encountered it while I was with my second baby. Everything was fine with the first one. Now they said that if the pills do not help me, they may not even let me go into childbirth because of the risk of bleeding and complications. Horror. I drink phlebodia as much as two tablets, I pray that it will help.

Who was in storage? The girls, on Friday, were on ultrasound, they put hypertonicity and low placentation, more than > 40 mm, if. To be honest, I was worried a lot before the ultrasound, in particular because of the ultrasound itself, before that I didn’t feel any tone in myself.

Discussion

I had no more than 10 mm and a tone, and it didn’t even occur to anyone to send me to the hospital, I just didn’t overexert myself, although at 36 I got to the maternity hospital with bleeding, but that day I jumped around the floors, at 38 they proceded

Two weeks ago, I was in the emergency room in the hospital. spotting due to marginal placenta previa. I lay there for 5 days in total and that, taking into account the fact that I got there on March 8 - the weekend. low placenta, as far as I understand, this is not previa, when the placenta overlaps internal os, and here it can both rise and fall. I guess, based on my experience of lying, with your diagnosis they will not be put in a hospital, especially for 21 days.

How often do you talk to your child about your family? Does he know his family well? Does he often spend time with them? "The Book of My Family" ([link-1]) is a wonderful album that will bring your child closer to the whole family and help him take a fresh look at relatives! The whole family will draw, fill out questionnaires and answer questions collected on the pages of this book. Draw a family portrait, a floor plan of your house, and a view from the child's window. What would your family coat of arms look like? And the future...

There is an opinion that children brought up in an incomplete family, growing up, experience difficulties in creating and maintaining their own families, and also with difficulty go through the process of socialization in society. However, is it only the absence of a second parent that negatively affects the upbringing of a child in an incomplete family? Or are there other reasons for his failures in life? Reviews of thousands of people indicate that systemic vector psychoanalysis is a test of the innate properties of parents and a child, as well as a differentiated ...

When I lay on saving for the second time in a row in THIS pregnancy, I was mostly gnawed by the fact that my children were without me. And she can’t imagine her life without him at all) During my first pregnancy (I was 32 years old), I lay down for preservation at 4.5 months - and so I lay until the end.

Discussion

Your desire for a second pregnancy is like agony. It feels like only fear drives you. Don't push yourself. Your age is not yet critical - a year or two is quite bearable. I would like to urge you to calm down, give the body a break from childbirth, prepare psychologically and return to this issue at least in half a year.

Maybe from the end? What are your specific fears? What is the state of your health now, what do the doctors say, how much has the liver suffered? Or is it now more or less restored?
And then it's just too early, the child is not yet a year old, wait another year, see what will happen to your health.
I "bed up" twice: after 5 years of infertility - 8 months at 28 years old and after 2 years - 7 months at 40 years old (since the discovery of pregnancy = the moment of threatened miscarriage = daubing both times). Physically, it was not very difficult for me (toxicosis is small, swelling, in the end - with the placenta problems). But psychologically - for the first time it was very scary, the threat was constant, hormone injections all the time and constant monitoring of them (tests), several beds in pathology with droppers, CS.
The second time was somewhat easier - I knew for sure that everything could turn out well. And in some ways it’s more difficult - I was looking forward to when it would be possible to take tests for fetal pathology, and then I waited for its results (my age was already that). Everything turned out very well, the children are healthy, smart, I'm happy.

I have a feeling that it is desirable to keep the nation more or less unchanged. And it was the 90s outside. She is a Muscovite from a decent family, education, language, everything is with her. But... you know love. I can not say that everything in their life was easy.

Discussion

Perhaps I'll tell you more about the situation, about the housing problem. Maybe someone else can suggest something useful. Especially on the housing issue.
A citizen of a troubled country has a temporary residence permit somewhere in the Moscow region. Part of their clan has already settled there and there are no problems with temporary registration. The problem, obviously, is with a residence permit and citizenship of the Russian Federation.
My parents have an apartment in Moscow. At my brother's new flat in the nearest Moscow region, acquired from great help parents. Almost certainly, very soon, the brother will set a deadline and the newlyweds will have nowhere to live.
There is an unfinished cottage in the near Moscow region, built by parents with a little help from their children. Now the situation is hopeless, the house is very large and has eaten up all the resources. There is a concrete box with windows and a roof. Then something to do, infusions amount to hundreds of thousands. So far, even as a summer cottage, it is problematic. And then there is the problem described above.
Perhaps I will describe this in the Real Estate topic. Maybe someone will advise what options to do with the house.

Find her a sweet, kind, caring and handsome Russian oligarch, and she will leave her husband from a troubled country...

The company "Evalar" and the clinics of Professor Ya.A. Yutskovskaya in Moscow and Vladivostok announced the launch of a joint project "Elegant Age: Beauty and Quality of Life". The objective of the project is to widely inform women about the need for comprehensive anti-aging care and about the results of testing anti-aging drugs in the clinics of Professor Yutskovskaya. Collaboration medicine and pharmacy for the formation right attitude To age-related changes in a woman's body is extremely ...

Probably many women and girls dream of becoming mothers and are waiting for two cherished strips on the test with bated breath. My pregnancy is unplanned, but I'm not particularly upset. I am looking forward to the baby and I am preparing to be a great mom. Thoughts about the upcoming affairs with the baby make me happy, but how the pregnancy goes, it oppresses and saddens me. Before pregnancy, I was active and cheerful, but now I feel more tired and extremely vulnerable. To be honest, I would compare myself more to...

Discussion

I think if you don’t have to lie with your legs up for all nine months, then this normal pregnancy. Our kids are worth a little patience. You need to set yourself up for the best and indulge in something that is a joy. If you feel sorry for yourself all the time, then you can be depressed throughout your pregnancy. My first pregnancy was easier in every way and I could do everything. The second is harder, but I want and look forward to my baby. The main thing for me is that he was comfortable)))

what the hell, mommy? And what will happen to the baby then? it’s your hormones that are still playing, everything will get better, but for now, take advantage of the moment and indulge yourself :)
Threat when I felt bad, I remembered my mother, who spent 7 months in the hospital on preservation and was discharged after the hospital with a weight of barely 40 kg, and after that I thought that in fact everything was fine with me!

This is my first blog entry. I decided to change my life! And as they say, "what is written with a pen cannot be cut down with an ax" - this will be my main incentive! My life was divided into 2 parts - before marriage and after. Unfortunately, the time after is the most bad time, what happened to me. I grew up in big family With loving parents. I have 2 sisters whom I love very much. All my life, my mother brought up in us self-confidence and love for others, that the family is the most valuable, and ...

My husband doesn't drink, doesn't beat, doesn't swear and sits at home in the evenings. It just behaves like a GOAT, but I think it can be cured)).

"The only thing holding me back is the child, ... and the husband's desire to save the family" - I really like it) in what way does this desire manifest itself in the husband?))) In sometimes visiting the marital bed at night? And why not visit something, even if you don’t even need to pay money to your wife?

03/14/2012 12:28:56 pm, oooh!

All 9 months, a baby is growing under your heart, which is surrounded not only by your love and affection, but also reliable protection from amniotic membranes And amniotic fluid. The fetal bladder forms a sealed reservoir with a sterile environment, thanks to which the child is protected from infection. Normal rupture of membranes and rupture amniotic fluid occurs before childbirth (when the cervix is ​​fully dilated) or directly during childbirth. If the integrity of the bladder has been compromised before, it's...

Discussion

11. When examining a doctor, can a doctor always make a diagnosis of premature rupture of water with certainty?
With a massive rupture, it is not difficult to make a diagnosis. But, unfortunately, in almost half of the cases, doctors even at leading clinics doubt the diagnosis if they rely only on examination data and old research methods.

12. Is it possible to make a diagnosis of premature rupture of water using ultrasound?
Ultrasonography makes it possible to tell whether a woman has oligohydramnios or not. But the cause of oligohydramnios can be not only a rupture of the membranes, but also a violation of the function of the kidneys of the fetus and other conditions. On the other hand, there are cases when a small rupture of the membranes occurs against the background of polyhydramnios, for example, in the pathology of the kidneys of a pregnant woman. Ultrasound is an important method for monitoring the condition of a woman who has had a premature rupture of the membranes, but does not answer the question of whether the membranes are intact.

13. Is it possible to determine the leakage of water using litmus paper?
Indeed, there is such a method for determining amniotic fluid, based on determining the acidity of the vaginal environment. It is called the nitrazine test or amniotest. Normally, the vaginal environment is acidic, and the amniotic fluid is neutral. Therefore, the entry of amniotic fluid into the vagina leads to the fact that the acidity of the vaginal environment decreases. But, unfortunately, the acidity of the vaginal environment also decreases in other conditions, such as infection, urine, sperm. Therefore, unfortunately, a test based on determining the acidity of the vagina gives a lot of both false positive and false negative results.

14. In many women's consultations take a smear on the water, how accurate is this method of diagnosing premature outflow of water?
Vaginal discharge containing fetal water, when applied to a glass slide and dried, forms a pattern resembling fern leaves (fern phenomenon). Unfortunately, the test also gives a lot of inaccurate results. In addition, in many medical institutions, laboratories work only during the day and on weekdays.
15. What are the modern methods for diagnosing premature rupture of membranes?
Modern methods for diagnosing premature rupture of the membranes are based on the determination of specific proteins, which are abundant in the amniotic fluid and are not normally found in the vaginal discharge and other body fluids. To detect these substances, an antibody system is developed, which is applied to the test strip. The principle of operation of such tests is similar to a pregnancy test. Most exact test is a test based on the detection of a protein called placental alpha microglobulin. The commercial name is Amnishur (AmniSure®).

16. How accurate is the Amnishur test?
The accuracy of the Amnishur test is 98.7%.

17. Can a woman perform the Amnishur test on her own?
Yes, unlike all other research methods, the Amnishur test does not require examination in the mirrors and a woman can put it at home. Everything you need to set up the test is included in the kit. This is a tampon that is inserted into the vagina to a depth of 5-7 cm and held there for 1 minute, a test tube with a solvent, in which the tampon is washed for 1 minute and then a test strip is thrown out, which is inserted into the test tube. The result is read after 10 minutes. In the case of a positive result, as with a pregnancy test, 2 strips appear. At negative result- one strip.

18. What if the test result is positive?
If the test is positive, call ambulance or contact the maternity hospital if the pregnancy is more than 28 weeks and the gynecological department of the hospital if the pregnancy is less than 28 weeks. The sooner treatment is started, the greater the chance of avoiding complications.

19. What if the test is negative?
If the test is negative, you can stay at home, but at the next visit to the doctor, you need to talk about the disturbing symptoms.

20. If more than 12 hours have passed since the alleged rupture of the membranes, is it possible to test?
No, if more than 12 hours have passed since the alleged rupture and the signs of outflow of water have stopped, then the test may show an incorrect result.

Questions and answers about premature amniotic fluid leakage

1. How common is premature rupture of membranes?
True premature rupture of membranes occurs in about one in ten pregnant women. However, almost every fourth woman experiences some kind of symptoms that can be confused with premature rupture of the membranes. This is a physiological increase in vaginal secretion, and slight urinary incontinence for more later dates pregnancy and copious discharge with genital tract infections.

2. How does premature rupture of membranes manifest itself?
If a massive rupture of the membranes has occurred, then it cannot be confused with anything: a large amount of a clear, odorless and colorless liquid is immediately released. However, if the gap is small, which doctors also call a subclinical or high lateral gap, then it can be very difficult to make a diagnosis.

3. What is the danger of premature rupture of membranes?
There are 3 types of complications that can lead to premature rupture of the membranes. The most frequent and severe complication is the development of an ascending infection, up to sepsis of the newborn. In preterm pregnancy, premature rupture of the membranes can lead to premature birth with all the consequences of birth premature baby. With a massive outflow of water, mechanical injury to the fetus, prolapse of the umbilical cord, placental abruption is possible.

4. Who is more likely to rupture the membranes?
Risk factors for premature rupture of the membranes are infection of the genital organs, overstretching of the membranes due to polyhydramnios or multiple pregnancies, abdominal trauma, incomplete closure of the uterine os. An important factor risk is premature rupture of membranes during a previous pregnancy. However, in almost every 3rd woman, rupture of the membranes occurs in the absence of any significant risk factors.

5. How quickly does labor occur in case of premature rupture of the membranes?
This is largely determined by the duration of pregnancy. At full-term pregnancy, half of the women spontaneous labor occurs within 12 hours and more than 90% within 48 hours. With a premature pregnancy, it is possible to keep the pregnancy for a week or longer if the infection does not join.

6. Can a small amount of amniotic fluid be released normally?
Normally, the fetal membranes are airtight and no, even the smallest penetration of amniotic fluid into the vagina occurs. Women often mistake increased vaginal secretion or slight urinary incontinence for leakage of amniotic fluid.

7. Is it true that in case of premature rupture of water, pregnancy is terminated regardless of the term?
Premature rupture of membranes is indeed a very dangerous complication pregnancy, but with timely diagnosis, hospitalization and timely treatment premature pregnancy it is often possible to prolong if there is no infection. In full-term and near-term pregnancies, as a rule, they stimulate the onset labor activity. Modern methods of diagnostics and treatment in this case allow you to smoothly prepare a woman for childbirth.
8. If there was a premature rupture of the membranes, but the mucous plug did not come off, does it protect against infection?
The mucous plug does protect against infection, but if the membranes rupture, the protection of the mucous plug alone is not enough. If treatment is not started within 24 hours of the rupture, serious infectious complications may occur.

9. Is it true that the waters are divided into anterior and posterior, and the outpouring of the anterior waters is not dangerous, is it often normal?
The fetal waters are indeed divided into anterior and posterior, but no matter where the rupture occurs, it is a gateway for infection.

10. What precedes a breakup?
By itself, the rupture of the membranes occurs painlessly and without any precursors.

I just talked with a man who got divorced when my daughter was 17 years old: "I should have divorced 15 years ago ... but I still lived - for her sake ... And then she herself told me: dad, well, I have my own life !" and man Here is a song of its own and this is not "preserving marriage for the sake of children."

Discussion

if anything, I have advice on how to decide "get divorced or not." But you won’t use it anyway, because, like 99% of the population, you are most afraid of change, uncertainty, decisive action, and my plan includes all this

I have read your answers. You have passed the stage of awareness, now you are at the stage "What to do?".
By the way, it would be nice to know your age and the age of the children and their gender.

1. Try to "build" a husband so that he behaves normally in everyday life, and accordingly, the children would have a good example, and they behave as they should. Take no more than six months to resolve this problem.
2. If point 1 did not pass, live with your husband as neighbors - FULLY PERCEIVE HIM AS A NEIGHBOR!!!, honestly telling the children everything (again, you need to know their age).
3. If 1 and 2 do not suit you, then do not make changes in the family, except strict upbringing children, in parallel to look for a man FOR SOUL AND BODY, and, possibly, to create a new family.
4. If everything is sick as hell, then get a divorce, move out of his apartment, etc., etc. Those. LEAVE.

Maybe I have already repeated someone else's answers.

04/01/2011 09:16:37, teacher

The pregnancy was very difficult: on hormones, low placentation, tone, bled once, lay on preservation. According to the pathoanatomical conclusion, defects incompatible with life and an initially malformed placenta were revealed.

Discussion

Thanks to all who answered! The question is really very important. And forgive me for opening up the wounds and making me nervous again. Health to you and your children!

I did 2 times (in 2 and 3 pregnancies).
The first pregnancy was 10 years ago, there were no screenings at that time. The girl is healthy and smart. They really wanted a second child, but could not zaB., I was stimulated, zaB. in 2008 The pregnancy was very difficult: on hormones, low placentation, tone, bled once, lay on conservation.
But according to the ultrasound, everything was fine with the baby at first: at 12 weeks - collar zone(one of the markers of diabetes) is normal, at 16 weeks - ultrasound is normal. 1st screening was elevated, 2nd screening was normal.
At 18 weeks, I decided to have an amniocentesis, but my husband and parents were against it - everyone was afraid of a miscarriage. After 2 weeks, the result came - a child with diabetes. They did an ultrasound (it was already 20 weeks old) - there were changes in the heart, enlarged pelvises, the child began to lag behind in terms. They said it would only get worse. Uzi reworked into different places(without voicing the diagnosis obtained after amniocentesis). The geneticists said it was a spontaneous mutation. I was then only 32 years old.
Now I'm pregnant again! Zab. alone, without hormones.
My husband and I went for a consultation to the Institute of Genetics on Kashirskoye Highway. They said that the risk of screenings would immediately be increased, tk. there was such a situation in the past. On ultrasound chromosomal pathologies you may not see it. Knowing myself that I will fray all the nerves for myself and the child, I decided to have a chorion biopsy at 10 weeks. I was madly afraid, because again afraid of losing the child. Everything went well - the child is healthy. Now I sleep peacefully at night, I go and enjoy my pregnancy, I have not taken any screenings.
If your sister-in-law does not panic if you receive bad result screening (or will not take them at all), if she will give birth in any case, then you can not do amniocentesis. It depends on her inner mood, on her attitude to all this.
Moreover, amniocentesis (collection of amniotic fluid is considered) is the safest, and chorion biopsy (collection of chorion particles) is the most dangerous, because. little time.
I did no-shpy injections 2 days before and after the procedure and inserted papaverine suppositories. 1 time in the Center for Psychological and Social Rehabilitation at Sevastopolsky (doctor in charge of the department - Gnetetskaya), 2 times a perinatal center at the 27th maternity hospital (doctor head of the department Yudin).

Either pick up your daughter from school, or something else. I am grateful to her, I myself am now pregnant with the second, and my mother helped out a lot when I was on conservation, but I want to. Every moment of life has its own difficulties, but think that once you needed your mother’s attention, as she needs yours now.

Discussion

Painfully familiar situation! At one time I did a huge stupidity: in a similar situation, I moved in with my mother .. Oh! Mom doesn't live her own life! My son is already 16 years old and in every possible way (sometimes in a very sharp form, and this even makes me feel very insulted!) does not allow his grandmother to live his life. My husband generally does not assess this situation otherwise than: "they came to take care of the" daughter ", because. over the years I have become a mother for my mother .. Our relationship has deteriorated very much, and the very idea of ​​\u200b\u200bdividing again physically is perceived by my mother as incredible cruelty on my part .. One must be able to manipulate to such an extent !!

4. And then decide whether you will conduct pregnancy for free or for a fee. My advice: register with a regular LCD, if something does not suit you, sign a contract for pregnancy management (in many centers, for example, it starts at 12 weeks).

In general, it would be nice to see the level of progesterone - if she took contraceptives before pregnancy (and not only because of this), there may be a lack of it .. to lie down and take progesterone preparations in this case (in Russia - the drug Duphaston) .. Or maybe a consequence, for example intrauterine device... in general, there are many reasons .. but a competent obstetrician-gynecologist-endocrinologist should decide everything. and now - really just lie down

So "rebuild" yourself - you have good relatives - they "do not salt" you in your family life(as it often happens), but with such a disrespectful attitude towards the parents of your wife, you and your wife. But what could be more precious than the preservation of your own family, right?

Discussion

In my opinion, your "remarks" and claims against your wife's parents are unconvincing. If only they retirement age and in your opinion, "nearness" annoys you, then this will not be solved even if you move. You, first of all, need to overcome your exclusivity, and if your parents are "more modern" and younger, grandparents, then you probably have or were of that age. There is only the thought that your family did not treat elders properly or did not instill this respect in you. I don't know of many good examples. cohabitation parents and children, but they exist, and above all, the success of well-being is mutual RESPECT. If your own separate housing is beyond your means now, then - earn money - your wife's parents just provide you with this opportunity - helping to raise your child and giving you the opportunity to live in their apartment. And it’s not for you to start a conversation about the exchange, at least this should come from the wife, but as a decisive opinion - from the parents. So “rebuild” yourself - you have good relatives - they don’t “salt” you in your family life (as is often the case), and with such a disrespectful attitude towards your wife’s parents, you and your wife show disrespect and the question arises - how are they? narrow-minded "parents were able to raise such a wonderful daughter, whom you chose as your wife??? :-)
So "work" on yourself!

07/13/2001 10:16:42 AM, Nata*sha

Kole, conscientiously read the entire topic and really (well, just really) I wanted to say a couple of "gentle" words addressed to you.
First. You will never be the boss. At least a good boss. Since the latter has to work with very different people, including with people whose way of life and thoughts differs significantly from yours. If you are not able to patiently explain to a person how to pay for a cell phone, then these are your problems. And the ability to talk to people and calmly defend your point of view is worth a lot.
Second. Whether or not you leave your parents, you will divorce your wife anyway. Since you admit such an idea, and even in the context - either a separation or a divorce, then there is nothing good to expect here. Yes, and more. Over the years, we become a copy of our parents (loved or unloved) - you also think about this.
And now the lyrics. Why don't you actually live with your wife in the country. Far drive? But she is a beloved wife. Yes, and full of people who all year round spends four hours on the road.
All questions with parents regarding separate living should be decided by your wife. If she really wants it, she will get it. Otherwise, nothing shines for you, you will go to live separately in splendid isolation. And infantilism is actually very difficult. If you broke firewood (married without getting on your feet, and even got a baby), there is nothing to set conditions now, this is the simplest, it is more difficult to learn to love yourself a little less.