Psychology of building friendships among women. Does female friendship exist?

Female friendship- this is a type of friendly interaction based on selfless relationships that are built on mutual trust and sincerity, a commonality of preferences and interests that arise between women. The concept of friendship has no gender division; friendship is determined by relationships and their quality, certain moral principles that regulate and underlie these relationships.

Women's friendship in life can be represented various options(situational and long-term, deep and friendly, due to interest in the activity or personality of a friend), which originate in ancient times, when all the women of the tribe were near the hearth, waiting for men from the hunt. It was precisely this form of building society that instilled in women the need for constant female communication and such features that distinguish female friendship from male friendship. For women, social acceptance and safety are more important, as well as satisfying the need to express their own emerging feelings.

The version that there is no such thing as female friendship appeared after comparing female relationships with male ones and is generated by the characteristics of the female psyche, which is characterized by inconstancy and excessive emotionality. Often girlfriends separate when they fall in love with the same man, and the men themselves consider female friendship to be a pretense due to the fact that in a fit of feelings or bad mood a woman is able to denigrate her friend behind her back, smiling in her eyes. However, there is also the opposite opinion that female friendship stronger than a man’s, since not every man will rush somewhere at night or hang on the phone for hours “because his friend is feeling bad,” but a woman always tries to help her friend in difficult situation, and it doesn’t matter how objective the difficulties are.

Does female friendship exist?

Friendship is like marriage, only without intimate relationships, and other responsibilities and privileges (support, devotion, interest, communication, sharing of impressions and life) are preserved.

And it is often the appearance of a man that prevents women from making friends. In the first case, the feeling of competition haunts and a completely anecdotal confrontation begins about who has a longer fur coat and who has a bigger house. There is nothing new or strange in this behavior, because friendship is initially a union of equals, which allows one to find common ground. And in the case of the appearance of a man, more than one female friendship has been destroyed, due to competition for the attention of one man, or because it was the friend who destroyed the family and took her husband away.

Does female friendship usually show the time over which the relationship undergoes various changes and either strengthen or fall apart.

Psychology of female friendship

Of course, any friendship has common points, which is defined by this concept itself, but there are certain psychological gender characteristics that make certain adjustments to what male and female friendship looks like.

The peculiarities of the female psyche do not allow one to simply listen to a friend. Each time the woman becomes emotionally immersed in her friend’s story and experiences the whole range of emotions from joy to grief, depending on the story. High level, which is genetically inherent in women and formed as one of the mechanisms supporting the connection between mother and child, is triggered in women not only in relation to their own offspring, but also when communicating with loved ones. When women communicate, they exchange energy, nourish their sensual sphere, and trigger the energy circulation mechanism.

From a man’s point of view, such communication may look like useless chatter, and not like friendship, because all the time is busy retelling what happened and at the same time there are no options for finding a way out. difficult situation. Such a distribution of dialogue would be indicative of male friendship, while women understand that their friend does not need ready-made solution, she needs emotional response and the opportunity to speak out.

The psychological foundations of female friendship are laid with early age when children play, divided into boys and girls. Initially, this is due to the presence of interest in certain games and playing specific social roles, and historically this is exactly the order of things. Thus, from childhood, the ability to make same-sex friendships is instilled.

Whether female friendship exists depends on the balance of energy in the relationship (it is necessary to equally invest in the interaction; when someone becomes a vampire, the relationship collapses), the presence of mutual respect and the absence of hidden selfish interests, compatibility of interests.

The most sincere and strong female friendship appears in childhood and school years, when a person’s soul is still pure from double thoughts, and the person is interesting in himself, when heart wounds have not yet been received and the person has not become more closed. With such friends you can be yourself and feel comfortable, because they definitely saw us in any way. different states. It was with them that the first joys and losses, difficulties and loves, dreams, etc. were shared. With childhood friends, a feeling of family can arise and such a feeling can last a lifetime if the friends develop at the same pace and maintain common goals and worldviews. If, in the process of development and acquisition of different life experiences, areas of interests and values change, and there are fewer points of contact, then friendship simply fades away. This is the most painless option for ending a female friendship, and at its opposite pole lies the desire of two girlfriends for the same thing, causing competition and destroying relationships, be it the desire to occupy the same position, love for the same man, or the desire to win at a dog show.

In more mature age we begin to choose friends consciously, and communication is based on common interests, but starts to turn on special conditions which will be beneficial to the parties. This could be a desire to appear more beautiful compared to a less presentable friend, a desire to take advantage of connections, or using a friend to leak one’s own negative emotions or as a lifesaver. More and more often, friends are divided not by the degree of trust (in childhood, there was definitely a “best friend”), but by the functions they perform. With one you can go shopping, with another you can go to bars, the third is an excellent massage therapist, and the fourth can babysit, and so on ad infinitum. And this is wonderful as long as the communication is mutually beneficial, and not one constantly fulfills the whims of the other, thereby depleting the relationship. And one more fact in defense of this approach in female friendship is that with age it becomes increasingly difficult to meet a person who is formed in the same way as you, and all the versatility of your personality requires satisfaction.

Why don't there be female friendships?

The fact that female friendship happens in life is usually questioned by men, but they do not question the existence of real male friendship. Indeed, women have much more interference, because in relationships they are guided by feelings. And if in a male friendship two people can logically and calmly assess the situation, one is able to maintain a rational perception of the situation and thereby smooth out sharp corners, then when two women communicate, the result is a nuclear mixture of emotions and moods that are poorly amenable to intellectual control.

The first thing that wedges itself between friends and prevents friendship from existing is envy. By and large, a feeling of envy is an indicator of desires and needs that are currently not satisfied. In women, the feeling of envy flares up quite acutely, since it is directly related to survival and provision of offspring. Maintaining such a sense of competitiveness does not in any way prevent girls from having intimate conversations and spending time together, but you should not expect any sacrifice in a critical situation.

True friendship does not fade over the years and presupposes a fairly deep knowledge of the other person. Men who may not know how many children his friend has (guided by tactful behavior in asking questions and the position “we are not friends with children”) are able to support a good relationship significantly longer than women. This distance makes it possible to remain in an acceptable image. In the case of female friendship, friends know everything about each other, everything in general, so communication with the most wonderful person soon dissipate, moments appear that contradict the inner beliefs of one of them, as well as the vulnerability to get hit in the deepest sore spot. Not many people usually pass the test of intimacy, but those who pass it remain close for life. This feature also gives reason to doubt the existence of female friendship, as such, because it looks like they met, became friends, and became enemies two months later. Although in these two months more events could have happened for the inner emotional life than in male friendships over decades.

You should be careful when making friends with girls, because there are often cases when, having told your best friend everything about yourself, your man or your work, you can end up getting stabbed in the back out of envy or when you diverge. When male friendship ends, men simply go their separate ways, while women may begin to take revenge or abandon their well-aimed and painful comments. About numerous cases when the “best” friend, knowing all the features personal life, she took away her beloved man, many articles and topics have been written on forums. You should approach each other carefully, and it is better to trust the details of the most valuable things about your life only to those closest to you, who will be happy for you and not envy you.

If we do not rely only on external insignificant manifestations, then we come to the conclusion that female friendship exists. It is the ease and ease of communication, which may border on optionality, that causes the feeling of the absence of serious friendly ties, but when the situation becomes serious, reliability, seriousness, and the desire to come to the rescue appear. Men's friendship is more significant and serious all the time and becomes more productive in critical situations - there is simply no internal resource left, while it is women who are able to mobilize and pull a friend out of a stuck car or coma.

Rules of female friendship

It’s good to have time-tested and event-tested friends, who, however, can be lost due to non-compliance simple rules friendship.

Try to be friends with your equals, social status, in intelligence, level of success and marital status. The smaller the gap between friends in each of the spheres of life, the less chance envy arises, which destroys both the person and the relationship.

Personal problems that you have with your man, boss, mother - solve them with these people, and don’t run to complain or consult with a friend. With this behavior you will not solve your own problems and will overload her, dragging her into the wrong relationship where a friend should not be, but will be a third party, very often an interfering party. In difficult situations where you cannot cope on your own, it is better to contact a psychotherapist, so you can build friendship.

In any relationship, it is necessary to maintain a psychological distance – time and information. The first is about leaving your friend the personal time and space necessary for relaxation. There is nothing worse than intrusiveness when a person believes that he has the right to demand your attention at any time. The second information distance is about the amount of information you trust your friend. You shouldn’t tell everything, at least, because the information that your friend has access to can be unwittingly told to third parties, without any malicious intent.

The unspoken rules of friendship include protecting the interests of a friend in her absence, voluntary assistance, not criticizing in front of strangers, sharing news, and keeping confidential information secret. Violation of such obvious things leads to complaints, quarrels and cessation of communication.

And most importantly, appreciate those who can sincerely rejoice at your success; perhaps this is the most a clear sign true friendship.

Does female friendship exist? Or is this temporary union more like a deal or an agreement, and as soon as it exhausts itself or interferes with the realization of goals, it ends immediately? Is it possible to be sincerely attached to a woman, understanding that she is your potential rival, knows all your weaknesses, all your ins and outs and can set you up at any moment? Let's try to understand the peculiarities of female friendship...

Why is it needed at all? And is there a difference: female or male? Any thing, by definition, is sexless. This is something that “will not break, will not fall apart from rain and blizzards.” And a friend (girlfriend), accordingly, is someone who “won’t leave you in trouble, won’t ask too much - that’s what a real one means.” true friend" Everyone, of course, remembers this funny children's song. And, probably, many could say with confidence: “Yes, I have a faithful friend!”

Where do true girlfriends come from?

As a rule, they follow us straight from childhood. Sometimes appear in student years. That is, when our soul is still pure and not poisoned by the multiple influences of various conventions. Children's friends are those people who know us as God created us. With all our shortcomings, deformities, fears, eccentricities and other flies in our heads. On the one hand, this is wonderful. That is, with them we can feel most natural and open. As a rule, we trust them with our deepest secrets, reveal our souls, and share our deepest problems. Moreover, they themselves are ready to be a vest, absorbing all the girls’ tears for a variety of reasons. Every person desperately needs such a friend. Especially during the formative years and the first steps into the human world. Without him it’s like without hands. Sometimes it is he who helps us make the main choice in life. At least he knows about our doubts and is sincerely trying to help us.

To some extent, our first friends play the role of psychotherapists in our lives, just as we are also lightning rods for them in difficult situations. life situations. For the time being, we are in the same boat. In the same weight and life situations. Plus or minus the same thing. Same age, same school, college, same social circle.

But as we grow older, the areas of our contacts with people change. We have our own circle, our own individual profession, our own lover. Sometimes one for two. And here the first doubt and the first conflict of interest arise. Girlfriend from the very loved one suddenly, in a strange way, she turns into a rival, a competitor. And strong children's friendship begins to burst at the seams. And if it does not collapse, it experiences colossal conceptual overloads.

Now the previous frankness and knowledge of our weaknesses may become the subject of unwanted discussion where we would not like to advertise our weaknesses for the time being. What used to seem so sweet and natural when we told ourselves close friend about her bad childhood habits or characteristics, suddenly becomes or can become a weapon in her hands. Which she, sometimes without knowing it, can use and put us in the most terrible, uncomfortable and losing position.

Sometimes ours become ours worst enemies, just by blurting out our deepest secrets to a stranger, a third person. Sometimes this can be done even unconsciously, out of stupidity, in a fit of emotion, or in the mood. And then, what previously seemed harmless becomes a big problem in communication.

And how caustic compliments or simple remarks can sometimes be. Something like this: “What a gorgeous dress you have, I was also looking for something similar for curtains!” “Oh, what a cool suit you have! I want to buy my mother the same one!” We learn all the most interesting things about ourselves by communicating in women's team, and most of all – where our best friend is.

She knows things about us that we no longer want to make public. If she has enough tact, she will not reveal other people's secrets. What if it's not enough? It turns out that she is no longer our friend?

How insidious female friendship can be

Let's take a break from the ideal and face the truth. Lack of competition is possible only among the saints, the blessed and the spineless. Women always, even unwittingly, compare themselves with other women. And sometimes friendship between them is like a deal or an unspoken “agreement” in which everyone gets what they need. Someone needs to highlight themselves favorably against the background of an unpresentable friend. For some, to get a ticket to a more sophisticated society or material bonuses. Some people need a friend to drain the negativity and always talk about their problems. And some use it as a free assistant around the house, caring for children, doing homework and writing a thesis. Sometimes a friend can be an excellent guide or filler of empty temporary niches, a clown and masseur, an accomplice in shopping trips and an arbiter in family disputes, a watchman summer cottage and diplomatic maneuvering in communication with relatives, drinking buddies and party companions, translators and reminders, alarm clocks or sleeping pills, co-founder and interlocutor, etc. And that's not a bad thing! We are all needed by someone, complementing, replenishing and saving someone from something. In principle, this is why people are friends. When they do this out of the kindness of their hearts (that is, out of friendship), selflessly and mutually, then no questions arise. But very often such “friendship” turns into a one-sided game, and becomes similar not to friendship, but to psychological or other. Tell me, why does someone who is simply being used need it?

But the most acute contradictions arise when there is a clash of interests. Just imagine, you doted on each other and suddenly, beyond your expectations, you fell in love with the same guy or are applying for the same position. Whether you want it or not, you have to choose. Either sacrifice yourself and the love of your life (career) and nominally remain a friend, but deep in your soul hate your rival, hiding behind beautiful and noble words about friendship above all else. Or take away what rightfully belongs to you and put the love of your life (a desired position) higher than a child’s, even true, friendship.

What will you choose? What would I choose? Hard to say. I was lucky, I have never found myself in such situations. I was separated from my friends by life, distance, family, different life scenarios, time... A lot of destructive things happened in my life. But who knows, it would have happened if there were those nearby who knew me like a pie and could give the most main advice, operating at the level of the soul. Sometimes life takes us to long distances, and we can only mentally turn to each other to talk about our most intimate things and simply be heard by someone. But how often have I wanted to tell someone: “You don’t even need to give advice. Just listen to me, listen with your heart.” This is what a true friend is for, in my opinion.

Real friendship

It's the same as in love. There is real, and there is fake, temporary, conditional... It’s the same in friendship. Whatever it is. Male or female. - a completely unselfish thing. She either exists or she doesn't. And if she is, then the question of whether to fight for a man or leave him to a friend is not worth it. There can only be one way out here. The choice of the man himself. Otherwise, neither sacrifice nor victory has any meaning. And all participants will understand this very soon. Life itself puts everything in its place. Including our true and imaginary friends. Of which, like loved ones, there cannot be an infinite number.

Of course, you can love the whole world. Have an endless number of friends online, like everyone and everything until you lose your pulse. But at the same time, remain an endlessly lonely person who simply has no one to talk to heart to heart.

Check yourself, if you have no one to talk to except your cat, if you are afraid to trust your many friends, because one can deceive you, another can set you up, a third can use you, a fourth can abandon you, then even if you have two thousand likes daily, you should think about making a friend. At least one person with whom you can just talk or just be silent, and you won’t get anything for it except warmth and not fictitious, not virtual, but real concern for your person. If you still don’t have such a person, then look for him. On the Internet or offline. But definitely in the “real” version.

This doesn't mean he has to be around. You can communicate at a distance. The main thing is that you and he want to be yourself, and not play some role for your own benefit.

The best friend is not stylish thing, comforting you in separation from your boyfriend. This more like a person, who will be delighted with how amazing you look.

My own desires are the law for me. I always listen carefully to what the voice of reason tells me, and turn to the Lord if I need help. And I’m sure: female friendship exists!

Women's loneliness is rather the absence of a close friend.

The girls understand the meaning of the expression “three of us being friends” in their own way: the third is always the subject of discussion between the two.

Life is a bleak phenomenon, but sometimes, however, a friend gets upset.

There is no such thing as female friendship; they are united by unity of views.

Female friendship is a wonderful thing. Your friend will never say that you behaved incorrectly in this situation. But he will immediately begin to pour into your ears that this young man is unworthy of you.

Often ladies prefer loneliness to friendship. Compared to exciting love, it seems gray and tasteless to them.

You don’t have to let your boyfriend know what your shortcomings are. Your friends will be happy to take care of this.

When talking with each other, the ladies portray friendly solidarity, trust and frankness, which usually does not happen in conversations with the opposite sex. But female friendship is only an appearance; in fact, women are constantly on guard, they do not trust each other. And this, I must say, has a basis good reasons. Andre Maurois

Continuation best aphorisms and quotes read on the pages:

There are few joys in life, but it still happens that a friend is unlucky. – Yanina Ipokhorskaya

The kiss between the two women has something of a boxer's handshake. – Henry Louis Mencken

Women kiss each other when they meet because they cannot bite. – Magdalena the Impostor

It's easy to forgive an enemy, but how to forgive a girlfriend? – Wanda Blonska

My peers are aging so quickly that it’s just nice to watch. – Betty Davis

My friends, there are no friends in the world!

Female friendship is when two women envy each other silently.

Did you know that girls are friends in triplets, that is, three people each, so that the two of them can discuss the third.

A woman can enter a burning hut alone, but she must go to the toilet only with a friend.

“Alcohol, men and smoking! Let's drink ourselves into a stupor and we'll be stuck for the whole week! Well... this, of course, only if there are no tickets to the theater..."

Female friendship has one advantage: a friend will never tell you that you are wrong, but for the hundred thousandth time she will tell you what a bastard your boyfriend is.

The fact that true female friendship does not exist is a well-known fact. The fact that there is no friendship between a man and a woman, either. The question is only one thing: who should the female sex be friends with???

Men playing with friendship, as if with soccer ball, leave it intact, and women, playing with it as with a crystal phase, break it sooner or later.

Women are able to give to friendship only that and as much as they borrow from Love and in what amount.

As long as the interests of friends do not intersect, female friendship can continue to exist.

Female friendship can simply be called a non-aggression pact.

You don’t have to tell your man about your existing shortcomings, as your beloved girlfriends will do this with great pleasure.

Friendship between two women is nothing more than a conspiracy against a third female.

Joys happen rarely, but sometimes a friend is still unlucky.

The best friend can be called the one who really forgets about her problems, because she sincerely understands that your problems are more serious.

True female friendship is when you stumble and fall, and your friend first laughs at your absurdity, and then falls next to you.

Who is this girlfriend? A friend is the person whose closet contains half of your wardrobe and vice versa.

If life has given you a friend, be sure to tell her that she is good.

A true friend knows how to hear between the lines, hear what was not said.

The most beautiful moment in my life is the moment of realizing that I have a like-minded friend in my life.

You know, you will always be my best friend, since you know too much about me.

A childhood friend is the person who will help you move to new apartment, but a good friend is the person who will help cover up all traces of the crime you committed.

You need to praise your friend in public, but only scold her in private.

There are no female friends, there are only like-minded women.

I love my friend most of all for her shortcomings, which we can talk about...

A friend is a friend female who notices everything and forgives everything - even dignity.

Women's friendship: they became friends and became friends... and became friends...

Sometimes a friend is an enemy in waiting

Friends can be fake, but enemies are always real...

Friends help us live and prevent us from working

On weekdays, girlfriends should appear only by invitation, and on bad days - without an invitation, on their own

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate...

True friends are those who are devoted to you, those who betrayed you, those who are betrayed by you...

My girlfriend! Let's put all the dots... from A to Z...

Girls, of course, know how to keep secrets, but together...

Girls! Who are you fighting against?

A true friend, she is like skin - close to the heart and always supports

The secret of happiness: never compare your health, wife and salary with others.

A real guy should smell like alcohol, sex and her perfume.

The average woman prefers to be beautiful rather than smart because average man He sees better than he thinks.

Best friend, just like troops special purpose in one person, will come to the rescue anywhere in the world: along with alcohol, smoking, dry rations and a shoulder to cry on.

If my friends can easily do without me when I feel bad, I can easily do without them when I feel good.

When you fall true friend will not extend his hand to you, but will fall next to you and laugh like crazy..

No female friendship? Lie... A friend is a reflection of my soul.

It doesn't happen beautiful women, there are blind men!!!

The kiss between the two women has something of a boxer's handshake.

“Ethologists - specialists in animal and human behavior - declare unequivocally: there is no friendship between a man and a woman and there cannot be. Relationships between men and women of reproductive age always have a secret or obvious hint of sex on at least one side, and on the male side - almost completely..” Ethologists - specialists in animal and human behavior - declare unequivocally: there is no friendship between a man and a woman and there will not be Maybe. Relationships between men and women of reproductive age always have a secret or obvious hint of sex on at least one side, and almost always on the male side. With the exception of rare cases when a man is fed up with female attention, but then in this situation there will definitely be hints with feminine side. The unconscious imposition of a friendly form of communication usually comes from a woman. For her, this is one of the ways to collect a “collection” of instinctively second-rate fans, according to the principle “so that there are some.” In other words, at least one of the “other...

A friend is a friend. You will call her at night and tell her that you have fallen in love. And she will simply say in a hoarse voice Sleep! and hangs up. After which he will call back and say: Open the door for me. Just be quiet.

They say: “there is no friendship between a guy and a girl” and “female friendship does not exist.” Well, who should I be friends with then?!

Female friendship does not exist, there are only those who are ready to assent in exchange for the same service.

There are two blind people in the world... You - because you don’t see how much I need you; and I - because I don’t see anyone but you.

You look purple on me, then I look speckled on you

Men play with friendship like a soccer ball, and it remains intact. Women play with friendship, like glass vase, and she breaks. (Anne Lindbergh)

Don't always say what you know, but always know what you are saying.

Being friends does not mean knowing someone for a very long time... It means accepting someone into your life who will never disappear from it.

I used to think that I was in love, Now I realized that I loved to think :)

I give a smile to everyone, Friendship to some, Love to one...

Where are you, friend?

We are cute... Beautiful... Happy... We love lollipop... Sometimes we cry at night... We smile... We laugh... We are together... We are friends...

There is nothing better in the world than eating candy with your best friend!

There are only two ways to live life. The first is as if miracles do not exist. The second one – it’s like there are only miracles all around!

But for me, a real friend is the one who first cracks and then asks: “Damn, doesn’t it hurt?”

It's true that our best friends can drive us crazy, but without them our lives are not as rich.

When buying a fur coat, a lady asks the saleswoman: “Can I ask for it to be delivered to my home, but before ringing my doorbell, they mistakenly look at my neighbor’s first?”

Female friendship: the girl didn’t spend the night at home, the guy frantically called all his friends, but he never found her... Male friendship: the guy didn’t spend the night at home, the girl frantically calls all his friends, in the end he spent the night with two, but has already left, and three are still sleeping...)))

They don't fucking change women's friendship!!!

Judging by your new girl, I left, taking everything from you... and even the taste...

He asked me if I loved him. I proudly answered that no, I don’t like it. He laughed, hugged me and whispered: – but you have to :)

True friendship is when, in response to the message “I’m sick,” they write to you “Why the f*ck are you????”

Let them say that there is no such thing as female friendship, let them chatter, but I know that...

In companies, and even in personal matters, the question often arises of whether female friendship exists. This topic is very topical and has come up more than once in everyday discussions. But before finding out its causes and consequences, we should consider what these relationships are in principle.

They note that friendships are close communication, mutual understanding, trust, presence common interests And emotional attachment. Unlike other types of relationships, partnerships, business relationships, affection between acquaintances, these are based on emotional sympathy.

Like sexual love, friendship between two people has an aspect of affection and feelings “in spite of” . The difference between these feelings is precisely sexual attraction.

As in love for a partner, friendship can begin quickly, but the process of the relationship itself is built long and painstakingly.

Female and male friendship: what is it?

So, the meaning of this concept, in principle, carries an emotional and trusting character, contains a feeling of attachment and the presence of common interests. In this case, the emergence of such a complex of feelings is not limited to gender. This means it depends on personal qualities individual.

By the way, a similar list, and perhaps much wider, can be applied to the feeling of love or infatuation. And if you begin to differentiate between love, as far as possible, to feel and be imbued with it in relation to the male or female sex, then the results may come out directly opposite to the popular opinion about friendship.

The misconception that female friendship does not exist is most likely generated by women themselves. Take, for example, the 18th or 19th century, when a woman’s destiny was to get married successfully or to get married in principle.

A man was unlikely to have any interest in the presence or absence of his wife’s affection for a friend, precisely because the weaker half of humanity still remained weak, and any feelings and desires, except those relating to the husband and family, were not regarded as in any way worthy or valuable unit.

So, why do misconceptions arise that female friendship does not exist:

the weak side of the population itself came up with this myth, or rather, derived it from personal experiences. For what purpose? Yes, absolutely simple - to justify yourself, your loved one, in not very well-behaved actions. And so, they say, I don’t really have any girlfriend, and I didn’t betray anyone. But this is a personal factor that has nothing to do with primary sexual characteristics;
as always happens, one of the “greats” said something similar, and those who found the phrase beneficial picked it up and actively began to use it;
More or less objective reasons emanating from men. The fact is that the lion's share A woman spent her existence on earth next to her husband and children, taking care of the house. We all know how after all the household chores there is no energy left for anything - what friends and acquaintances there are! The strong side of humanity, in the literal sense, is not tied to family and children, and accordingly there are opportunities for "strong male friendship" more too. Therefore, among the strong side of humanity, it is generally accepted that only they are capable of true brotherly emotions.

But again, feelings such as “love” and “friendship” appeared already in a fairly late era of human development and are a property not of a biological species, but of an individual - a person. It is not a certain gender, but a certain personality that is capable of such sincere emotional manifestations. Otherwise, if we talk about psychological differences and the different abilities of the sexes to feel, then female friendship may turn out to be stronger.

Mirror neurons are responsible for sympathy, trust and the ability to empathize. Women have more of them than men, which is why they are more emotional, forgive more easily, trust and empathize.

Based on this logic, in this case strong point humanity is incapable of strong feeling, because she is more sober in her assessments. Therefore, when speaking critically about whether friendship exists between ladies, it is worth remembering that strong and real feelings of any kind are the prerogative of the individual, not gender.

However, there are still certain differences in gender relations. And they are connected, first of all, with the psychology of gender.

How is male friendship different from female friendship?

Strong representatives of humanity are distinguished by their sober mind and rationality, while they have important role plays male solidarity.

Remember how many times your boyfriend/husband left “meet the boys for beer/fishing”, “Well, dear, my brother has a problem there - it needs to be sorted out” etc.

In addition, the strong side of humanity is less picky about little things, much less envious, and more oriented towards its own opinion than the views of others.

For the beautiful half of the population, everything happens a little differently:

a developed sense of competition and a desire for superiority. At the same time, women often think not in terms of changes, but in comparison with others: she’s fatter than me - I’m fatter than her, she has a successful husband - my drunk, she looks young - I’m sewn up in pots, etc. At the same time, things begin between women unhealthy rivalry, namely a game without rules. Increased emotionality makes itself felt, and instead of a rational plan for improvement, a plan to destroy the rival often matures;
different logic of thinking. Guys usually decide everything at once, while a fight is a direct way to clarify the conflict, after which they will not necessarily part as enemies. Ladies rarely solve an interpersonal problem directly and immediately. Usually everything happens like this: I heard - I saw - I was offended - I thought - I discussed the incident with my friends - I thought again - I weaved an intrigue;
women are more inclined to talk, men to action. Friends gather to talk somewhere and express all their accumulated indignation, then discuss, then express their indignation again. Men usually meet for some common activity (remember football and fishing!), where frank conversations it may not come. Men are not inclined to have a long discussion, except intimate life- here they are gossips even worse than the girls;
guys think straight, girls... Pan's Labyrinth. A woman can create an hour-long scandal from one unanswered SMS. Moreover, before that she also made a crazy cycle of emotional thought. This is also reflected in relationships - men are less inclined to console themselves with thoughts that everything will work out if everything goes wrong. Girls look for thousands of reasons and justifications for themselves and others, build up hopes and refuse to see the obvious;
the stronger half of humanity has a different perception. They are not used to getting to the bottom of the truth and looking for a dirty trick. For girls it's the opposite.

The difference in thinking gives rise to some differences in behavior within any type of relationship.

Myths about why there are no strong female friendships

The beautiful half of the population is not responsive in matters of help and mutual assistance. It's at the root
wrong. This misconception is based on the fact that men are more prone to action. Mutual assistance among the stronger sex is based on specific actions - men are not inclined to talk about problems: they either solve them or remain silent. For girls, things are a little different. Often we come to talk to a friend not so that she can solve this or that dilemma, but simply to talk it out and hear advice. The psychology of female friendship is based on the importance of being heard, and this is already regarded as a partial solution to problems;
Borders friendly relations end where the man begins. The statement is, in principle, correct, however, it applies regardless of gender. The strong half of humanity quarrels over girls just as often as the weak. This question has actually given rise to much debate about the existence of friendship.

Fortunately, the fragility of relationships most often does not depend on gender or claims to "handsome prince", but from interpersonal competitive feelings between girls.

Evgeniy Lebedenko

Does female friendship exist? 5 most popular myths

There has been an age-old debate about what female friendship is. Psychology female relationships overgrown with legends and anecdotes just like feminine logic. But does female friendship even exist? If so, how true are the legends that tell about her? Where do myths end and reality begin? Let's figure it out together.

Myth 1. There is no friendship in love

The most important difference between male friendship and female friendship, according to the majority, is that men will never break off their friendship for the sake of a woman, while women easily betray their friends for the sake of men.

Reality

This myth actually has some basis. Women are very emotional and vulnerable creatures. And if a friend manages to have an affair with nice guy before, then most often it hurts a woman’s pride. When one of the girlfriends starts making eyes at the other’s husband, she will immediately be thrown out of the door.

But wouldn’t a man be offended if his friend started wooing his wife? This doesn’t happen among men, you say. This is where the difference between what is commonly called male and female friendship is hidden.

Men call their friends only those who really are them. Whereas among women it is customary to call friends, colleagues and acquaintances “friends”. Among such acquaintances, all those situations often occur that give rise to myths about what female friendship really is.

Myth 2. Girlfriends are only made by misfortune

Reality

Women love to cry into each other's vests when something goes wrong. Often on this basis they converge and become friends. Sometimes from such relationships is born real friendship, and sometimes women remain just friends.

And yet this does not mean that women do not know how to be happy for each other. In that case, of course, if these are real friends and they have real female friendship.

Myth 3. All women are treacherous

Women make friends only for the sake of looking impressive against a background that is not very beautiful girlfriend or in order to win the man she likes away from her newly made girlfriend. Remember movies about scary and too beautiful girls? Directors love these types of stories.

Reality

There are many stories about how families were broken up due to treachery " best friend" wives. And, unfortunately, many of them are true. But this is not a reason to label all women. Look around you, are you surrounded only by envious people and gossips?

Myth 4. Women cannot be friends because of their psychology

There is an opinion that women so jealously guard “their territory” - husband, lover, that they do not trust each other at all and cannot make true friendship. Especially with that friend who managed to lose weight and look prettier like a goddess.

Reality

This stereotype cannot be applied to absolutely all women. Every woman has the friends she deserves. And if a woman is open, sincere and a kind person, what could prevent her from having strong friendship with another person like him?

True friendship can only be called those relationships that are built on mutual support, understanding and affection, regardless of the gender of the friends. All myths about female friendship are born because true friendship is much less common among women than among men. But this does not mean that it does not happen at all.

Myth 5. Female friendship exists only until the friend becomes more successful

Female friendships can be destroyed not only because of love or competition for a man, but also because of career and financial success. Yes, this can happen. But not in all cases.

Reality

Female friendships due to a career or a successful marriage, when the husband gives money and helps in every possible way, can be destroyed for those women who put material values in the foreground. This cannot be said to be the majority.

This group is divided into those who worry and lose girlfriends due to a lack of personal financial achievements, and those who received them from other sources: husband, friend, benefactor, and so on.

But if it happens that friendship in other areas can be very tender and strong, but as soon as fragile female relationships are touched by the changing material world, all good feelings instantly pass. It's like a marriage of convenience.

What to do in this case? Do not under any circumstances regret that you have lost such a friend. She will never really help you if you have a really serious situation.

True female friendship exists for those women who truly want it.

Take it for yourself and tell your friends!