Nervous breakdown in a teenager: sedative pills for nervous breakdowns. Aggressive teenager advice to parents

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Teenage aggression is by-effect puberty, which arises in response to the fact that the growing child does not accept reality. These can be separate parts of it (the attitude of parents, peers, complexes, the influence of social networks, etc.) or an unwillingness to put up with reality in general. Anyway aggressive behavior a teenager is a problem for everyone around him and for himself. So she needs a solution.

Causes of teenage aggression

Adolescence is a conditional dividing strip between childhood and adult life. Crossing it, the teenager undergoes changes at the physical, physiological and psychological level. That is, not only his appearance changes, but also his internal attitudes, “filters” of perception of the world around him. Such changes are a big stress for the child. Therefore, under unfavorable circumstances for him, he simply “breaks down” and becomes aggressive. Depending on which of these circumstances prevail, the causes of teenage aggression are conventionally divided into several groups.

Family causes of aggressive behavior in adolescents

Most psychologists put the influence of parents at the origins of the inadequate behavior of puberty children: their upbringing methods, behavior, attitude towards the child and towards each other. And taking into account the extremely heightened teenage perception of the environment, any “blunders” of relatives can become a trigger for aggression.

To the main family reasons teenage aggression include:

Extremes in education. In this case, the most significant are the system of education and the level of attention paid to the child. Moreover, they will be equally dangerous as excessive attention(hyper-care), and its disadvantage. In the first case, a teenager rebels, thus defending his right to freedom of choice - what to wear, with whom to communicate, etc. In the second, he chooses the tactics of aggressive behavior to attract the attention of parents. In the same way, a teenager can go against the rules set by strict parents or respond with aggression to permissiveness.
Social status and standard of living. As in the case of upbringing, the behavior of a teenager can most often be negatively affected by either poverty or the wealth of his parents. So, for example, some children may be angry at the fact that their parents are not able to give him what he wants. It can be an expensive phone, a powerful computer, fashion clothes, various leisure activities, etc. In the same way, unmotivated aggression can be provoked by the opposite state of affairs, when the child has absolutely everything he wants. In this case, the spoiled teenager simply considers himself superior to others, which gives him the right (as he thinks) to behave provocatively.
Violence in family. Aggressive behavior of a teenager may be a response to the aggression that he sees in the family. And here there may be several scenarios for the development of events: the first - he instinctively tries to protect himself from abusive parent or a relative, the second - he copies it. No less devastating for teenage psyche there may be ridicule and humiliation by his parents in front of other people.
Jealousy. Sometimes a child in adolescence chooses a line of defiant behavior because of jealousy. The subject of teenage jealousy can be new member families: the second child who appeared in the family, the new chosen one of the mother (or the chosen one of the father), his (or her) children.
Family traditions. It happens that teenage aggression arises from the rejection of established traditions in the family. It could be a habit free time, manner of dressing, social circle, choice of profession or life partner, etc. With the help of aggressive behavior, a teenager tries to break such restrictions and go beyond them.

Biological causes of teenage aggression

Significantly "spoil" the blood of a child in puberty can be changes within him. Hormones are raging in him, his system of perception of the world is “bursting at the seams”. And if the parents do not notice these changes in time, the child can "go downhill."

The main biological causes of aggression in puberty:

Youthful maximalism. In adolescence, the child is desperately looking for himself, his values and attitudes change very quickly, and the perception of the environment has two ratings - either bad or good, or black or white. There are no halftones in the life of a teenager. Therefore, not corrected by parents in time new model The child's behavior can turn into a protest against any discrepancy between reality and the “standards” invented by him.
puberty. A hormonal riot also often affects the behavior of teenagers, making them uncontrollable. Moreover, it is difficult to control them not only to parents or teachers. They themselves are not always able to pacify their attraction. Therefore, it is important to redirect this young energy in time and correctly into a useful channel - into dancing or sports.

Personal causes of aggression in adolescents

Not only hormones can turn a child into a tough teenager, but also his internal state. It can be formed in the process of growing up, inherited with genes, or appear as a result of upbringing. In any case, it will be directly with the personality of a teenager.

The most important personal reasons for the formation of teenage aggression:

Diffidence. Quite often, behind the mask of an aggressive, world-defying teenager, a child is hiding, desperately in need of support and understanding. It is the lack of confidence in himself, his strengths and capabilities that makes him build walls of denial and opposition around him. The same feeling pushes him to assert himself at the expense of the weaker ones or to earn authority over the stronger ones.
Guilt. This factor may accompany the already mentioned self-doubt or be its consequence. Making a teenager feel guilty is easy. Moreover, he can form it himself. But that doesn't mean he admits it openly. Many adolescents disguise their feelings of inferiority precisely under aggressive behavior.
Touchiness. Another character trait that provokes a sharp reaction in a hypersensitive man during puberty even to the most harmless things.
Pessimistic mood. Distrust of people and life in general, a pessimistic view of things that surround a teenager, can significantly affect his behavior.

The feeling that he (or she) does not meet the expectations of the world around him (parents, relatives, friends, teachers and other people significant to the child) can also make a teenager aggressive. In this case, internal aggression against oneself is projected onto others.

Situational causes of teenage aggression

Often, aggression in adolescence can be provoked by a certain situation that has had a significant impact on the child's psyche. This may be an event related to the physiology of a teenager: serious illness or its consequences, injury, physical defect, which limit full life. The feeling of inferiority in this case can result in aggressive behavior.

The destructive effect on the psyche of adolescents of certain content, which is “absorbed” by children from the Internet, TV and computer games in unlimited quantities, has already been proven. The most dangerous are films, games, videos, posts with aggressive content. Plunging into such an atmosphere, a teenager tries on the role of a negative, but cool hero, and carries it into real life. He chooses forceful methods of solving problems.

Also an occasion to show oneself "in all its glory" in negative value there may be a desire to please a member of the opposite sex or to impress her (him). If a child does not have a normal understanding of the relationship between the sexes, no right example such a relationship, he himself develops a line of behavior that, in his opinion, will demonstrate his strongest points.

Varieties of teenage aggression

Depending on how the rebellion of a teenager manifests itself, his defiant behavior can be divided into several types.

The main types of teenage aggression according to the direction of manifestation:

Open aggression or heteroaggression. Such aggressiveness is directed at everything that surrounds a teenager - people, animals, things. It can manifest itself in the form of fights, hooliganism, vandalism, insults, humiliation, the use of profanity and defiant behavior. As a way of confronting the world, teenagers can use smoking, alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, vagrancy.
Hidden aggression or auto-aggression. If discontent and rejection is directed by a teenager inward, it is quite difficult to notice it outwardly. Such children do not show their dissatisfaction with reality explicitly, but the accumulation negative energy still finds a way out in the form of nervous breakdowns, depression, neuroses, somatic diseases and even suicide.

Forms of teenage aggression according to the method of manifestation:

Reactive aggression. It is a hostility that is manifested in response to the same hostility. That is, it does not manifest itself constantly, but “on occasion”. The trigger here can be a rude attitude towards a teenager - in transport, at school, in a store, on the street. And the teenager simply cannot help but respond to rudeness with such behavior.
Targeted aggression. This is conscious permanent behavior teenager, manifested in disrespect for others, rudeness, fights, defiant behavior. And it does not depend on whether they were rude to him or treated kindly. Most often, this way of self-expression is chosen by children with the natural inclinations of a leader who, without outside help they just can't handle their temperament.

Manifestations of teenage aggression

Rebellion in the soul of a teenager depends on many reasons: the nature of the child, the attitude of parents, friends, peers towards him, living conditions, etc. Therefore, the manifestations of teenage rebellion can be very different - from periodic sharp answers to a question or remark to absolutely immoral behavior or cruelty.

The main forms of manifestation of aggressive behavior in adolescents:

Physical form of aggression. Sets a goal to cause harm, pain, damage. Here, both inanimate objects and living beings can act as the victim. It manifests itself in the form of hooliganism, vandalism on a different scale - from breaking dishes at home to the destruction of amenities (monuments, benches, bus stops, etc.). In the worst case, aggression is directed at people, animals. This is the most dangerous form adolescent aggression, because adolescents have not yet fully formed the concept of responsibility, including for someone else's life.
Verbal form of aggressive behavior. A more “lighter” manifestation of teenage protest, but no less harmless. Since even verbal abuse and humiliation by other children can have terrible consequences for the child's psyche. verbal aggression can manifest itself in the form of arguments, denial, foul language, criticism of other people, threats, ridicule, malicious jokes, manifestations of hatred and resentment.
Expressive form of aggression. It appears in brightly colored "tones", that is, in the form physical movements(gestures, strokes), pronounced facial expressions (grimaces, displeased facial expressions) and / or verbal statements in raised tones or in the form of profanity.
Direct aggression. In this case, all the teenager's negativity is directed at a certain object, which causes in him these very negative feelings. It can be expressed physically and verbally.
Indirect form of aggressive behavior. This is a form when for some kind of trouble, failure, or simply Bad mood a teenager "pays" his environment - things, objects, people, animals.
Hidden aggression. Protest, which manifests itself in the form of ignoring requests and comments. The child in this case is absolutely calm, but at the same time does not hear what is being said to him. And if he hears, he is in no hurry to comply.

Ways to deal with teenage aggression

Coping method teenage aggressiveness will depend primarily on specific case- the characteristics of the child himself, the degree and type of aggression and the reasons that caused it. Therefore, the approach to solving such a problem should be purely individual. However, there are several universal rules of parental behavior that will help not only correct the situation, but can also be used as preventive measures to prevent aggressive behavior in adolescents.

Most effective advice Parents how to deal with teenage aggression on their own:

Reconsider your upbringing criteria and behavior: it is often mistakes in educational process or behavioral habits of parents become main reason rebellious behavior in teenagers. Remember, no matter how your child speaks of you, you are his main role model. If you want to make it better, start with yourself. Be a positive example.
Be humble and tolerant. Maintaining composure even in the most critical situation in a family where there is a problem teenager can "kill two birds with one stone." Firstly, a calm and reasonable analysis of the situation does not give an additional reason for aggression on the part of a teenager. Secondly, this way of solving the problem shows the teenager that forceful methods are far from the only option to effectively resolve conflicts.
Give your child the freedom to make decisions and be responsible for them. Of course, this advice also has its nuances - such freedom should not become absolute. You as adults, experienced people still need to filter safe solutions, which can be "skipped", and unsafe, which can harm the child.
Be for your difficult teenager best friend. It is quite natural that not all children have an ideal set of qualities - intelligence, beauty, health, strength, intelligence, talent. Therefore, support in your growing person exactly what he has. Praise him, support undertakings, rejoice in achievements, analyze mistakes and failures. And do not limit yourself to just talking - spend more time with him outside the house. Organize joint rest and leisure, support his hobbies, involve him in socially useful affairs, cultivate respect for elders.
Wrap his seething energy in right direction. Try to find an activity for your rebel that will help redirect his rampage into a positive vector - a hobby, passion, sports, dancing, music, etc. Ideally, this should be done together with the teenager himself. Find an alternative that will take him out of the Internet or influence bad company. And it is possible that the first attempt to transform adolescent energy will be successful. But this is no reason to stop.
Be sincere. Teenagers are extremely sensitive, so they subtly feel insincerity. Do not forget that inattention to your child in adolescence can subsequently significantly complicate not only his life, but also the life of people who are nearby. Including the parents themselves. Children in puberty consider themselves adults, so treat and talk to them exactly as with adults, equal people.

Important! If the level of aggression has reached a critical level or all attempts to return the child to the status of “good” have failed, seek help from a specialist. Do not waste time - teenage aggression does not arise and does not pass by itself.

How to get rid of teenage aggression - look at the video:

Aggressive behavior in adolescents is a marker of trouble in some of the areas of a child's life. And it's hard enough to deal with it. Therefore, you need to listen and participate in the life of your child even before the onset of puberty. For a child who feels like a full-fledged member of the family and society as a whole, loved, needed, capable, self-confident, aggression in behavior will be simply unacceptable.

Every year, psychologists state the growing anger of the younger generation and the growing manifestations of aggression on their part. Of course, huge role stresses play in human malice, and they are not at all alien to teenagers. As you know, the most unstable stressful conditions age is adolescence. Due to their youthful maximalism, many guys and girls become angry at everyone and everything, it seems to them that the whole world is against them, and no one understands them. You need to be able to control the aggressive behavior of adolescents so that life with your own children does not become a nightmare.

Aggression

Aggression - translated from Latin as "to attack". Actually, given word perfectly describes the actions of people infected with aggression. They are intractable, can rush into a fight and unleash conflicts on empty place. IN Lately not like teenagers, many children began to show aggression towards the world around them. Due to the rapid pace of life, where adults are forced to run for moments in order to survive, children are given less and less time. Loneliness makes them feel left out, hence the anger.

However, not all manifestations of anger are controlled by a person and understood by him. Exist various diseases psyche, forcing a person to show aggression towards their own kind. Sometimes failures occur in the body, and a person does not understand what he is doing. This behavior can also be indicative of Alzheimer's disease. An unusually aggressive person should be examined.

Aggression - translated from Latin as "to attack"

Teenagers are often nervous due to age-related changes: they rebel against prohibitions, demand softening of the restrictive framework, assert themselves at the expense of weaker individuals or, on the contrary, people of a higher rank than themselves. The family atmosphere also plays a big role, children react vividly to family quarrels. A teenager's immediate environment plays a big role. It is important to know what films the child prefers, with whom he is friends and what he enjoys, in order to be able to help him in time.

All teenagers go through a stage of denial of everything and everything, none of us can escape it. It’s just that someone lives it more calmly, while someone has a lot of problems. Psychologists advise to seek help in time, and qualified counseling can help a lot.

The first thing to find out if the child has become aggressive is the reason for the anger. It is important to remember that children's aggression must be treated on early stages, in later periods it is difficult to cure.

Problems of aggression

Psychologists in many countries began to sound the alarm - the aggression of adolescents has become much younger and stronger. characteristic feature aggressive behavior was that the standard of living does not affect the percentage of angry children. Even in the initially well-lived countries of Europe, the level of adolescent aggression has risen.

According to the latest data, psychologists have come to the conclusion that the intra-family atmosphere has a strong influence. The deterioration of general social norms of behavior is of high importance. With the release of many games with a demonstration of violence and the direct involvement of children in it, they became the key to the early "dehumanization" of the child's psyche. A huge number of filmed action films and horror films also do not teach the younger generation about kindness and forgiveness. A large percentage of children with early age consider it acceptable to take away a favorite thing from the weather or humiliate another child in order to seem better. Wherein,
other children watching such actions do not find anything wrong with such behavior and support the aggressor in every possible way.

The aggressive behavior of adolescents is a very relevant topic, constantly heard by psychologists and students of psychological universities. Quite often, such a topic is chosen for scientific work or as a practice.

In past periods, children's aggression was considered the result of permissiveness and bad manners, now they do not deny its genetic component, and it as a whole, like a disease.

Causes of aggression

The most common opinion about the cause of aggression is the desire of the individual to express himself. An aggressive person, of course, attracts everyone's attention in any situation. But the reason why a person wants to receive this attention and needs to be found out.

Perhaps the child has an identity crisis;
It happens that an unfavorable atmosphere in the family nurtures an antisocial personality;
It happens that feeling inferior, a person becomes angry at the whole world;
Often, aggression is caused by a genetic predisposition to it;
Failures in the body can cause aggression;
A variety of diseases bring discomfort to a person’s life, making him angry;
The use of various drugs and substances that cause addiction and inhibit mental reactions also cause aggressive behavior.

Features of aggression

The manifestation of aggressive behavior strongly depends on the gender of the aggressor: girls prefer to express dissatisfaction, guys prefer to use force. There are types of aggression:

Physical. Use of force to express discontent;
Indirect. Expressing dissatisfaction, throwing objects, punching the table, etc.;
Verbal. An angry cry, threats, insults.

Often it also includes excessive suspicion and negative attitude.

The male sex is more prone to aggressive manifestations than the female. Men are also more difficult to treat than women.

A variety of observations indicate that children who lack parental attention often become aggressors.

Diagnostics of aggression

A psychotherapist should diagnose aggressive behavior. There are quite a few methods for determining aggressive behavior, and the doctor himself will determine which one to use. The established norms and the results obtained will indicate whether the child is worth treating, as well as show the form of the disease and best practices treatment.

Treatment of aggression

Firstly, the family, the doctor, and, directly, the sick person are involved in the treatment of aggressive behavior. The best prevention is a hobby, sports also help a lot. After establishing the cause of aggressive behavior, adequate treatment is prescribed. Various kinds of conversations with the doctor, passing tests, classes in group classes can be offered. In more difficult cases, appoint medications, antidepressants. Classes in dolphinariums and field trips help patients well.

Prevention of aggression

Every teenager goes through a stage of aggressiveness as they grow up, but not everyone manages to control themselves. Those children whose parents managed to help their child cope with such a difficult condition in time, get out of this period quickly and without consequences. Children whose aggressive behavior was not noticed in time, and, moreover, was not treated, do not leave this age at all. Eternal conflictors grow out of them, unable to create normal relationship with other people. It seems to them that their behavior is not deviated from the norm, and the ways they achieve their goals are far from human.

Teen aggression video

Why is the aggressive behavior of adolescents so activated in the 21st century - is it not the influence of the same TV, the Internet, computer games, modern films, virtual reality, dependencies? Or maybe teenage aggression is influenced, basically, by a modern, often disharmonious family, methods of education and parent-child relationship, school, with emotionally-psychologically indifferent teachers, and the street, which is sometimes provided with teenage children?

Let's take a closer look at the causes of adolescent aggressive behavior, methods for correcting this behavior and preventing spontaneous, uncontrolled, and often unconscious aggression in adolescents.

Aggressive behavior of adolescents: causes, correction and prevention of adolescent aggression

Aggression itself has partially innate roots in every person, but what kind of aggressive behavior will be in a given situation, and what internal or external stimuli (irritants and provocations) activate it - directly depends on the attitudes, internal beliefs of a person acquired in the external environment (family, kindergarten, school, on the street, virtual world, films and books), attitudes, internal beliefs of a person: an adult, a child or a teenager.
In a word, the aggressiveness of a teenager, and an adult too, depends on the life scenario - programmed thinking, feeling and behavior in a given situation, with a particular life event.

Aggressive behavior, like deviant, anti and antisocial, delinquent, in adolescents does not arise on the basis of the innate instinct of aggression, which works on the principle of protecting human life and health in dangerous situations, in the form of an attack on a source of danger (the innate mechanism of the psyche "fight or flight").

For example, a teenager, by virtue of a fragile psyche and still immature personality, in the event of a real or far-fetched (imaginary) danger (the purpose of the alleged threat is not important here: life, health, social status, personality, one's "I" ...) may have a deep conviction - "to run away is shameful, humiliating, etc." teenager shows aggression towards another person, animal or inanimate object(phenomenon).

And it doesn’t matter what this teenage aggression will be: emotional and mental - verbal (verbal - threats, swearing ...), non-verbal (aggressive facial expressions, postures, gestures), physical (an obvious attack with the aim of causing physical damage, say, beatings), or hidden aggression, indirect (in the form of gossip, negative conversations behind your back, etc.), as well as more primitive child-teenage aggressiveness in the form of negativism (aggressive naya opposition, such as doing everything in spite, revenge, etc.).

The main causes of teenage aggression

The main causes of teenage aggression are not in negative television broadcasting, the Internet, and not even in computer games or violent action movies, horror films ... Although, these sources of information still play an indirect role in strengthening the feeling of anger, and the activation of aggression based on it.

Aggressiveness in teenage behavior It is caused, first of all, by the negatives embedded in the child's psyche from the outside, colored by dislike for oneself and other people, sometimes hatred, with the prevailing emotion of anger and its derivatives (from mild irritability to rage), and, accordingly, by the adolescent's aggression in behavioral reactions to the often incorrectly, illusoryly interpreted events.

It is precisely that teenage aggressive behavior that does not fit into the framework (rules and norms of behavior) of society, and is acquired, programmed in the form of internal attitudes, deep convictions about oneself, other people and the world as a whole, and, accordingly, distorted, stereotypical thinking, feeling and behavior.

For example, aggression against the enemy of our country, or a rapist, pedophile, kidnapper (kidnapper), sadist, serial maniac, etc., even if it is against the law, but is morally justified by society. These are also attitudes and beliefs laid down from the outside - this is not innate aggressiveness and anger.

Similar, acquired aggression and anger in adolescents begins to develop with early childhood, through the so-called "parental programming" (education), parent-child relationships, methods and styles of education.
It is precisely with disharmony in the family of relations with the child that the latter can withdraw into himself, into films, television programs of an incomprehensible kind, into computer games and the virtual world of the Internet - the latter will not create aggression in a teenager, but will strengthen and develop it.

Elementary children can copy aggression from adults close and important to them, and it is not necessary that this aggression is directed at the child - it can be aggressive behavior in the family between mom and dad, younger and older generations, with neighbors, even aggressive criticism of films, politicians, life in general, can leave an imprint on the child's psyche and make him an aggressive teenager and adult.

And dislike, disrespect for the child on the part of important, important people, rejection of him as a person, lack of attention to the baby, sensory deprivation, misunderstanding of him and lack of psychological support, and even more so direct psychological or physical aggression directed at children, will naturally play their evil role - a teenager can become aggressive, especially towards the weak (everyone can show aggression against a cat, but at the Amur tiger ?! Although here, a person, as the "ruler" of the world, can use weapons ...).

Psycho-correction of aggressive behavior of teenagers

Psychological correction of the aggressive behavior of adolescents is quite complicated. The problem is not that it is difficult to reprogram the attitudes and beliefs of the child himself, leading to unreasonable anger and aggression. The problem is that psychotherapeutic work with the whole family is needed here, and also, the difficulty is that it is often quite difficult to persuade a teenager to visit a psychologist or psychotherapist, especially together with his parents. (setting, like "I'm not crazy").

Changes in the family emotional and psychological climate and relationships between parents, parents with grandparents, etc., and, of course, the child-parent relationship themselves - the most important task correction of aggressive behavior in adolescents.

The main thing here is not to do, not to change anything abruptly and ahead of time (right in the forehead). Only a mild, indirect influence on the change in thinking, feeling (anger) and, accordingly, the behavior (aggression) of a teenager (otherwise, protection, negativism, resistance will work, perhaps just with the activation of aggressiveness).

Psychological work with the family and with the teenager himself, although not burdensome, but not fast, but the results will not be long in coming. After a course of psychotherapy, a teenager will cease to be aggressive, and the whole family will become harmonious and happy.

Prevention of aggression in adolescents

The same applies to the prevention of aggression in adolescents - first of all, it is necessary to create harmonious relationship in the family, preferably starting from the moment of pregnancy of the mother of the future teenager.

Or, at least start creating a healthy emotional and psychological climate in the family while your child is still literally a “child” (transition to adolescence starts around 10-11 years old).

Read psychological articles for parents and educators.

It is necessary, for starters, to realize your mistakes in the upbringing and relationships of mom-dad, grandma-grandfather, mom-grandmother (grandfather), dad-grandmother (grandfather), etc. Choose correct styles education and interaction with the child. If negativism is already manifesting and

What is aggression?

Aggression, the manifestations of which most often cause a negative reaction on the part of the people watching it, can also have a positive effect. Such a moment is considered the possibility of discharging overwhelming emotions and defending a person's positions, increasing self-esteem.

But aggressiveness still needs to be controlled so as not to create life problems. It is especially pronounced in adolescence Therefore, it is important to understand the reasons for its occurrence.

A person's aggression means that he wants to feel power over someone, to subordinate him. It can be both internal, directed inward (autoaggression) and external, the object of which are other people or objects. It can also be overt and covert. Signs of obvious aggression are considered to be an increased degree of conflict, assault, the ability to put pressure on others, to slander. A hidden form manifested by withdrawal into oneself, suicide attempts.

Adolescence and aggression

Any person can have such character traits, but they are especially well observed in adolescents. This is of concern to many parents who notice the anger and uncontrollability of their children.

Why do teenagers become aggressive?

A rare child who enters adolescence does not change his behavior. As a rule, he becomes more aggressive. This is due to the restructuring of his body, the change in the characters of the same adolescents surrounding him, who during this period begin to assert themselves, prove something to each other, and try to earn respect in this way.

There are cases of violence against less aggressive peers, who are appointed as outsiders and mocked in every possible way - both morally and physically. They create their own groups and do not allow strangers there. Relationships with parents also change. They seem stupid to teenagers, and their opinion is considered not worthy of attention. Teenagers are capable of hurting anyone, no matter how old they are.

There are several reasons for aggression in teenagers. Five of them are considered the most studied and confirmed specialists.

The first cause of aggression in adolescents

The first reason for the aggressive behavior of adolescents is recognized as a constitutional predisposition. That is, such a person can become initially irritable, suspicious, withdrawn, anxious, for whom it is important what others think of him.

The second reason for aggression in adolescents

The second reason for teenage aggressiveness lies in the formation of such behavior under the negative influence of printed (newspapers, magazines) and electronic (Internet) sources of information. Strong influence the character is rendered by television and computer games, involving scenes of cruelty, violence, with criminal elements in the plot.

The third cause of aggression in adolescents

The third reason why a person with aggressive habits can be formed may be the family where the child grows up. If there is misunderstanding between family members, rejection or too much guardianship of children, their pampering by adults, insults are not uncommon, relations between parents and children are not colored with positive emotional connotations, then all these moments can create the ground for nurturing a future aggressor.

The fourth cause of aggression in adolescents

A fourth instance in which a teenager may become aggressive involves earlier initiation of drug use. alcoholic beverages or drugs. In a state of one of these intoxications, he is so liberated that he does not even realize how cruel and unpredictable he becomes.

The fifth cause of aggression in adolescents

The fifth reason for the emergence of the aggressive nature of adolescents is the condition environment society as a whole at the time of the formation of his personality. With unfavorable ecology, problems with radiation, noise, excess negative information prerequisites for aggression appear. Life during economic and other crises, in the absence of fair laws, a sense of hopelessness can also lead to protest behavior of a teenager that can result in aggression.

The main influence on the child is still exerted by the environment where he grows up. Parents must understand that their child has not yet grown up, although he is trying to prove it to everyone. This is a difficult transitional age, when a teenager most of all needs love and understanding in the family, which can reduce unnecessary anxieties and prevent his aggressiveness from developing.

What to do if your child becomes rude and uncontrollable

Just yesterday, they are so sweet and affectionate, today your daughter or son has turned into rude nervous monsters who get annoyed at your first word, slam the door of their room in your face, rudely respond to a simple remark about appearance or triples in literature. " Transitional age“, you try to calm yourself. And then break down and also yell back. The gap between you and the child is growing. How to avoid or overcome it?

External manifestations of teenage aggression are a subject of particular concern for adults. But, surprisingly, such aggression has positive side. This is an open behavior, which means that parents have more opportunities to help their child.

In Moscow, with its accelerated pace of life and too intense information flow, people are constantly faced with many aggressive influences. City bustle and crowding provoke a violation of personal space, adding irritation. teenagers because of age features everyone perceives it much more sharply.

Fewer fears

According to psychologists, the level of aggression spurred on by the insane pace big city, can be reduced by distributing their forces. At the same time, many parents do not even suggest compromises and, on the contrary, aggravate the situation with endless “this is necessary” and “this is necessary”. “It is useful for teenagers to make their own“ life schedule ”, so that the necessary things are interspersed with the desired ones,” advises Irina Galakhina, family psychologist Center for Human Health.

Aggression as a form of defense arises not only because of real resentment, but also when increased anxiety. It is even more difficult when irritation accumulates inside. It can spill out at any moment, and it is not known what trouble the teenager will be in then.

At the same time, in the metropolis, parents often spur the anxiety of their children - "don't go there, don't talk to that." But some caution is really needed! Lyudmila Anshakova, MA psychologist " healthy generation":" It is wiser to increase positive self-esteem - "I do not allow insults and attacks against myself, therefore I will not provoke them." Don't give a warning message. Instead of "be careful," it's better to "call when you can."

Aggression is sometimes difficult to deal with on your own. Then expert advice is needed. In the capital big choice medical institutions, centers, offices where you can get qualified psychological support. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to lay out big money, as many parents think. There are centers that provide free services, among them the State Institution "Moscow Service psychological help population”, which has branches in each district of the capital. Here they also train everyone who wants it - arrange thematic seminars.

Sometimes parents are prejudiced against a psychologist in medical institution, confuse him with a psychiatrist. Then it is easier for them to contact the psychological-pedagogical and medical-social centers under the Department of Education of the city of Moscow, which also work in each district.

But first of all, it is important for an adult to think about what he is doing wrong. Irritation of a teenager sometimes turns the situation into vicious circle. He is rude, snarls. Parents respond by getting angry, lashing out, or withdrawing. At the same time, any aggression, whether it is directed at oneself or outside, is a kind of request for help, which a teenager, due to age characteristics or the current situation, cannot express otherwise.

Children always copy the behavior of their parents. Aggression may be implicit, but the aggressive behavior of a teenager shows that the family does not take into account the opinions, feelings, or desires of another.

The reasons may lie in excessive parental care or, conversely, in the rejection of the child. Or maybe he can't cope with the school load.

When a teenager a difficult situation, a quarrel with a girlfriend or friend, he can "attack" relatives or peers.

And the one who got into an environment where aggression is the norm, and he himself is trying not to become a black sheep.

Elena Sergienko, head of the laboratory of the Institute of Psychology of the Russian Academy of Sciences, doctor psychological sciences, professor: “Outwardly, teenagers can react equally strongly to trifles and to serious situations. Don't judge the reasons. Don't say "what nonsense" if it's a torn bag. Together look for a way out: "let's put on stylish patches or buy a new one." React seriously to everything, then the teenager will develop confidence that parents can be told about a more difficult situation.

Irina Galakhina: “It is important that the teenager has the opportunity to at least identify the problem, feeling that he will be treated delicately, and not indignant: “this was to be expected!” or “what were you thinking before?”

2. How to deal with parental irritation

Sometimes the emphatic statement "I'm very angry with you!" enough to take the pressure off.

And sometimes the advice of wise grandmothers comes in handy: “the main thing is not to yell right away.” And indeed, if you immediately restrain yourself (as you like: squeeze and unclench your fingers, count to ten), it’s easier not to respond with aggression to the aggression of a teenager. But rudeness should not be skipped either: “I am offended when they shout at me.” Refuse to continue the conversation in this tone.

3. With someone else's influence

At the age of 13-15, the recognition of a peer group is very important. And some actions are performed for the sake of recognition or in imitation of an idol. Companies are different. “If a teenager has fallen under someone's influence, he will broadcast ideas that were not characteristic of him before,” says Elena Sergienko. - In addition to unusual conversations, you can notice depression, anxiety, a change in appetite. Don't panic or judge so you don't alienate your child. Try to oppose your own values."

Irina Galakhina: “There is no need to immediately overthrow the idol. It is wiser to strengthen your child's own "I". Ask for his opinion more often: “What do you like? What do you think?"

4. How to communicate with a teenager

Do not humiliate a teenager - physically or verbally.

You will achieve nothing but a defensive (often aggressive) reaction. Moreover, he will focus on the thought “how I was treated unfairly” and will no longer think about his behavior. A negative assessment should only concern the misconduct (not “you are bad”, but “your act is bad”).

Focus on feelings. Share his feelings: “I know how it feels”, “of course you are angry”.

You can’t say: “What kind of person are you!” Better like this: “Do you want to smash everything to smithereens? Let's try to find a way out of this situation together."

Block aggression. You can surprise, laugh or please (at least give a chocolate bar).

Let the child discharge physically. Purchase a darts or punching bag. The pear not only helps to relieve tension, but also clearly demonstrates a retaliatory blow to an aggressive attack.

5. How to offer help

Irina Galakhina: “If a teenager is constantly aggressive, do not blame him. Speak from yourself: “I don’t understand what’s wrong with you, I’m at a loss.” “I notice you get angry often. Is something bothering you? What do you want to change?“ If something happened to the child, it is very important for the parent not to panic himself. Do not judge the situation, do not scold, do not reject or shout. Otherwise, the child will close. Offer help. If the teen refuses, calmly say, “Okay, you don’t want to talk to me, but if anything, I’m there. And who could help you? “The main thing is to create a sense of the rear and the fact that help is possible.”

To relieve emotional stress, have your teenager write down all the words that he wants to shout out or describe the situation, and then crumple and tear the sheet.

6. If a teenager is in a state of passion

If a teenager is very excited, irritated, does not control his actions, practically does not react to others, keep him at home with all your might. Elena Sergienko: “Bring down the first heat of passion in any way - depending on the characteristics of the teenager. You need to yell at someone, use tricks with someone. Just don't annoy him more. Try to redirect aggression - start beating pillows or tearing up newspapers.

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