Psychology consumer attitude towards people. Consumer attitude towards women

It is probably difficult to find a person who has never encountered manifestations of a consumer attitude in his life: someone experienced all his “charms” on personal experience, having become a victim of the consumer, someone just watched from the sidelines. But admitting that you yourself are a consumer is much more difficult.

This is usually reported by those around them, tired of being constantly trying to use them.

To understand why your husband is so infuriated by the role of the eternal “earner”, why the wife is offended by the lack of attention and respect on your part, believing that you treat her “like a thing”, and for what reason in general well-behaved child never learned the words of gratitude, you should thoroughly understand the problem.

What does consumer attitude mean?

Modern society is often accused of adherence to the cult of consumption: the increased level of social well-being often outwardly manifests itself purely as the satisfaction of consumer needs.

We start collecting things because we can afford it, and if an item becomes unusable, without hesitation, we throw it away and buy a new one - again, because we can afford it!

About the negatives this phenomenon a lot has been said, but everything is not so scary, yet we are talking O inanimate objects, which, whatever one may say, are designed to be used. Much more serious concern is the use of the same principle in relation to people: the victims of this approach, determining the nature of their sensations, often say that they feel like a thing.

A human consumer uses another person as a resource, not caring about his feelings and not trying to give something in return. If the victim understands that there is a catch somewhere and cannot continue like this, she will try to break the connection with the consumer as soon as possible.

But, unfortunately, it is not always possible to assess the situation objectively, and it is not uncommon for a person to live his whole life side by side with a consumer - suffering, tormented, but "continuing to eat a cactus", like a mouse from a notorious joke. Sometimes out loud, sometimes silently worrying (and then the absence of claims on her part will be the main argument of the consumer if he wants to justify his behavior in the eyes of others).

Consumer attitude towards men

In a patriarchal society, the function of the head of the family is traditionally assigned to the man, while the woman is subject to his decisions. It would seem that a man receives a very privileged position, but there is back side medals: such social roles gradually erase the personality traits of the wife and husband, driving them into a clear framework of patriarchal standards.

It is in such families that both parties most often suffer, and the tragedy of the husband usually lies in the fact that he is perceived mainly as a source of income, domestic comfort and well-being of the family, and not as a living person with his own emotions, needs and desires. Unfortunately, love in such marriages is either initially absent, or quickly fades into the background and gradually fades away.

At a certain stage, the husband begins to understand that his role in the family is reduced mainly to material support.

It's good when a man has the opportunity to give his wife an expensive gift or pay for family holiday, but not normal if:

• in return he receives absolutely nothing and never;
• all gifts and surprises are taken for granted;
• woman's reaction to the absence of another an expensive gift expressed in resentment, irritation, misunderstanding;
• communication with her husband is reduced to one-sided reproaches and demands (“you must”, “it is your duty”, “a man pays for everything”, etc.).

In this situation, the husband must understand whether he is ready to endure such an attitude towards himself all his life.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to re-educate an adult, and if a certain scenario has been put into the head of a wife since childhood, in which there is a place for consumerism, but there is no place for mutual respect, support, sympathy and personal responsibility, it is unlikely that it will be possible to change her approach to the issue through conversations, requests or quarrels.

However, sometimes this view male role in relationships, it is developed by a woman already in marriage, since the husband is the first to begin to treat her consumerly - deprives her of the right to consultative voice in making important decisions and requires the unconditional performance of "typically female" functions (raising children, housework, etc.), forcing them to treat themselves in the same way.

Many husbands do not even notice how consumerist they are towards their spouses, creating conditions in the family that are more typical for slave-owning relationships than for love ones. Such men absolutely do not care about either the mood of their wife or her relationship with others, they do not seek to help their spouse in solving everyday problems and issues. The main thing is that there should be order at home, food is prepared, and children are brought up, and all this should happen, if possible, without male participation.

Their wives can endlessly complain on forums, to friends over a cup of tea or in a psychologist’s office about detachment, indifference and lack of understanding on the part of the spouse, but conversations with the “hero of the occasion” themselves, as a rule, do not bring a positive result. If a man sees in a woman not a person with his own beliefs, habits and desires, but a slave who must devote her life to fulfilling his whims, it can be very difficult to achieve an adequate attitude and self-respect.

And far from always this state of affairs is due to the social status or high salary of a man (although these factors, of course, often affect the intra-family balance): cases where a husband, who earns an order of magnitude less than his wife and has much more free time, still seeks to shift on her all household worries, are found all the time. Quite often, the foundation for such an attitude is laid from early childhood, because not all parents are able to understand in time that they are raising a consumer.

What to do if a child shows a consumer attitude towards people?

Why does a child become a consumer?

Largely due to the fault of parents who prefer to see their baby more obedient than proactive. As a result, infantilism instilled in childhood persists for long years. If your son or daughter at the age of one treats his parents (and any adults with whom he contacts) as a source of benefits, there is no point in blaming the child - being on early stage development, he still does not realize where and at what cost these benefits come from.

But if such a situation is repeated in a more conscious - kindergarten, school or even adulthood - this is not normal.

Therefore, it is advisable to leave space for children to make independent decisions from the earliest years (even at the minimum level that is accessible and safe at their age) and give them the opportunity to help their parents so that the exchange of benefits is two-way. Thus, you will be able to instill in your son or daughter more important values ​​than consumer values ​​- they will be able to appreciate the importance of mutual assistance and compassion, learn to show respect and gratitude.

With regard to specific duties, they are determined by the circumstances: in early age it can be all possible help to parents around the house, in adolescence - a part-time job (in order to have pocket money earned with one's own hand). This is the only way to overcome the egocentrism inherent to some extent in every child.

It is very easy to spoil children, because they tend to take any manifestations of attention and care for granted. And if for some reason parents feel guilty for some reason (for example, they worry that because of work they devote too little time to their growing child) and regularly try to “pay off” with gifts, the child will quickly develop a corresponding perception of the family as a group of adults who are obliged to please him always and in everything, regardless of his own needs and external circumstances.

The problem of consumer attitude to life

Growing up with the idea that any person should be considered primarily as a source of life's goods, the consumer child experiences adult life serious problems communicating with friends, family and colleagues. This is how women appear who will not even look at a man if he does not start flooding them with expensive gifts or proves his high social status, and men who assign women the role of domestic servants.

It is almost impossible to change a formed personality (rare exceptions only confirm general rule), therefore, children should be taught from childhood to go beyond consumer values.

Consumer attitude

Often there are situations when a person is faced with a consumer attitude, but what this means - let's figure it out further.

Here, for example, there is such a type of people when they remember the existence of so-called friendship only when it is beneficial. That is, the consumer attitude is a kind of “use” of another person for selfish purposes.

Today we often have to deal with consumer attitudes towards people. But most often it happens that some inconsistencies occur precisely between a man and a woman.

Some women often wonder why some are more lucky, what is their merit. No, they didn't do anything special. The reason lies in their men. According to how a man treats his woman, three types of attitude can be distinguished:

1. connoisseur. A man takes care of his beloved. He treats her with tenderness. It is very important for such a man that his woman looks 100%, so he has nothing against the fact that his beloved strives for perfection. No, this does not mean that a woman necessarily sits on a man's neck, she can be independent of him. Such a man perceives his “queen” as an expensive painting, admires and admires her.

   Again, this does not mean that this woman does not love anyone but herself and does not spend time maintaining household. No, it simply does not focus on domestic and domestic problems. And her partner is not one of those who will impose on her a bunch of responsibilities. He can handle many things on his own.

2. Democrat. Such a man respects the tastes and preferences of his woman, even if he does not always agree with them. He will not wake her up early in the morning on a day off so that she will prepare breakfast for him, but will patiently wait for her to wake up. He himself can fry fried eggs, make sandwiches - he is ready to surprise his beloved.

   Perhaps he will not exalt his woman on a pedestal and lie at her feet, but if suddenly she decides that she needs new sweater, then she will most likely buy it.

   In such a relationship, both partners take care of each other and do not shift responsibilities. Everyone just does the job that he is good at.

   Such a man understands that a woman is also a person and must be respected. Many women are concerned about why men are so different? There is nothing to guess here: the upbringing of the mother is to blame. As a mother raises her son, so he will treat women.

3. slave owner. Such a man has a consumer attitude towards his woman, he considers her his servant. He only cares about the order of the house, food in the kitchen and ironed clothes. This man doesn't care what his wife looks like or what she wears. He is more concerned that there is no dust on the closet, but the fact that his wife walks in a holey dressing gown - and okay! His woman doesn't give a damn about how she looks either, and everything is from the fact that she simply does not have enough time for herself. That is, the “male slave owner” does not see a woman in her partner, he sees in her a slave who fulfills all his whims.

Unfortunately, many women in modern world, consumer attitude towards men. Some do not even hide it and declare that they will not build a relationship with a man who does not have an apartment in the center and an expensive car.

It is worth noting that such an attitude towards a man will not bring anything good. People are happy when they make others happy. If you give love, tenderness, support, then you become happier from this. If a woman always demands something from a man, then one day she will be mentally exhausted, which means unhappy.

Consumer attitude towards women

Men essentially fall in love not with women, as such, but with their appearance. Someone in a skinny body, someone in a pumped one, someone in a magnificent one, everything is curled from tastes. but it is always a BODY, a FACE. but NOT SOUL. These phrases of lovers of donuts "nravitsa when there is something to grab on to", lovers of slender "I love a tight little ass". but these "I would have given her, I would have put her in." and so on. . In general, it's embarrassing. Nobody ever talks about traits, oh inner world. Only about appearance. I already hate to catch on myself men's views because, looking at me, they think not about what is in my soul, how I live, how I feel, but about my ass and boobs. Naive, of course, but damn, this is outrageous.

In the NW section, I’m looking for 80% of the first word is a girl, the second is slim)

Wow, so many

I am slim, but since he is looking for a figure, then only sex is on his mind. maybe then fall in love, but why waste time on such

Beauty attracts only at the beginning, but the content already holds for a long time 🙂

Men essentially fall in love not with women, as such, but with their appearance.

Wrong. Men just fall in love with women, as such. From the one that has beauty, brains and soul in place (not in her opinion, but in his) - hardly anyone wants to leave. But for women - judging by the forum - a man as such is an insignificant addition to his surroundings 🙂

OxyUgu, full of these

no photo - free, who the hell did your soul surrender to, since you are as scary as an atomic war. Belly - go nafik, I love fit. Glasses? Acne. pfff boy how old are you, you walk like Harry Potter. etc

women have no SOUL, as in other matters, and brains.

women have a soul, even if there are no brains, then there is a soul. it's just that it's different for everyone

no, I'm not saying that they would appreciate the soul at first sight - it's impossible, I'm talking about what they are looking for, what they think about, looking at a woman. everyone looks and thinks "yes, oh, meaty, I would blow it," but I would like to think "I wonder where she works, what books she reads" \u003d)))

Let's mirror the requests of women:

AnastasiaOxyUgu, full of these

So men fall in love with women as such 🙂

First of all - a wealthy and Muscovite, then - without bad habits (but to hell with them if he is wealthy and Muscovite), handsome (let ***, if he is wealthy and Muscovite and without bad habits), aimed at serious relationship(although the women don’t give a fuck what he’s aiming for if he’s a handsome, wealthy Muscovite with no bad habits)

"Vdul" is one goal, "the one with whom I want to spend my life" is a completely different one. For the second, what books she reads will be important. For this purpose, a COMPLEX of qualities is important - both "vdul" and "books".

People recognize the soul already in the course of action. And how can it be appreciated or known? You may like the approach to life, character, attitude towards yourself, some little things in a person, even purely everyday ones, but all this is known when people are ALREADY in a relationship or are ready to enter into them.

OxyAnastasiaOxyUh-huh, there are a lot of these

so the fact of the matter is that everyone is looking for a figure and a face. ss is generally a disaster, not a word about the character, the main thing is that she is pretty. and the saddest thing is that they no longer look at the soul for appearance, twirl them as you like. it's a shame both for women and for such one-celled men.

so with them it is necessary the same))

just change your attitude towards them, stop being white and fluffy

Well, it's called already a scythe on a stone. if we also sink to this level, then kapets kittens, as they say)

what's with the scythe?))

they just choose us for appearance, so don't get lost

and it would be more pleasant for you if our criterion was "a member of 17 cm." biceps from 53x cm

But as REALITY shows, women do not need a man as such 🙂 At least for a long time 🙂

Well, if the complex is important, then why is the first thought not about books, but about vdul? It turns out, all the same, the priority is blowing.

Well, it’s difficult without “blowing” 🙂 Unlike women, a man simply physically won’t be able to calmly lie down, examining the cracks on the ceiling. "Vdul" is necessary condition, but insufficient 🙂

you tell me here about the mythical men. the bulk falls in love with appearance, this is the MAIN thing, and then it’s already like that, a nice application (inner world, interests)

No, if there is nothing besides appearance, then everything will be limited to "blowing". Falling in love will be when there is not only appearance

In his teaching practice I have had many times to deal with the fact that children and adolescents develop an exclusively consumer attitude to literally everything in life. At home, parents must provide him with everything he wants. At school, teachers must give him all the knowledge, even if he does not want it. And even getting a job, these individuals, who are still nothing of themselves, claim the highest salary, and simply do not agree to a lower one. As workers, they are also quite problematic, because they never process anything superfluous, but they love to receive money.

I once did a summer renovation of a high school class. Several guys from this same class were given to help me. Summer renovations involve full wall plastering, whitewashing, painting, wallpapering, and more. In a word - a major overhaul. So, when we began to take out the furniture, we found mountains of garbage and dust behind it. This is not surprising, small animals could start up in a year, which, fortunately, did not happen here. Scooping up all this rubbish, the guys somehow grimaced in disgust and hinted that it would be nice for someone to follow this so that so much garbage does not accumulate. I then told them something like this: “This is your class, who else should have followed it, if not you?” They looked at me with a surprised expression on their faces, saying, “do we need it?”. Well, except that they didn’t twist a finger at the temple. I had to explain to them in a popular way, with details, that a consumer attitude to life will not lead to anything good. That no one is obliged to do anything to them, that no one will remake this world except themselves. And if everyone brushes aside and "translates arrows", then the world will fall apart altogether. After such an explanation, I mentioned that I myself do this work not for the school, not for me to be paid a salary for it, but first of all for myself, so that it would be easier to breathe in this class, so that one fine moment I would not collapsed a piece of the wall and so on. My arguments had an effect, I convinced them, and we performed that repair “perfectly well”.

Too often we ourselves are to blame for the fact that children and adolescents develop a consumer attitude towards life. We do not allow them to take the initiative, we do not even allow them to express their opinion. Meanwhile, children and adolescents are full members of the community and have not only duties, but also rights that must also be taken into account. A person deprived of the right to vote, the right to create, becomes infantile. Moreover, often this infantilism, lack of independence persists for many years. He cannot defend his point of view, cannot do anything on his own, make a decision, he remains forever " sissy". Gender doesn't matter here, it's just the most traditional phrase.

Only when a teenager is given the opportunity, on an equal footing with adults, to solve some problems, do feasible work and take a direct part in the life of the team, will he feel like a full member of it and stop treating others consumerly. This applies not only to the property of the class, school, but in general to everything that a person encounters in the course of his life. Here in Soviet years there were pioneer and Komsomol organizations that were abolished after the dissolution of the party. Now they are trying to create something similar. Meanwhile, the pioneer (scout) movements are not an invention of Soviet political technologists, but an American historical tradition. In our country, in the last years of Soviet power, all good traditions have turned into the purest formalism. That is why the current generation, which is brought up by former pioneers and Komsomol members, has developed a formal attitude, or, simply put, complete indifference to everything that is happening around.

Fighting this is not only possible, but also necessary in order to save our children from disappointment in life, from cynicism and indifference, and, by and large, from inability to live. the main task teacher - not to allow a consumer attitude, to inspire students with the idea that there are no other people's problems, that there are only problems that someone does not want to solve. And there is nothing shameful in the fact that a student is interested in the problems of the teaching staff, school-wide problems, and not just personal well-being. Such interest should be welcomed and encouraged, and not nipped in the bud, as is most often done. Perhaps, in the person of this or that student, the teaching staff will acquire a reliable partner and assistant, and in the future, a colleague. This happens literally at every step, and the teaching staff as a whole and each teacher individually should think carefully about this.

Most men want to "get" a woman without special efforts from my side. They want to enjoy all that beauty gives, without the sorrows that battle brings. This enjoyment of a woman at her expense is the evil nature of pornography. Pornography can be called the desire of a man to recharge his energy from a woman; He uses her to feel like a man. It is an imaginary power, as I said, because it depends on external sources, instead of coming from the depths of the heart. And this is the height of selfishness. Such a man offers nothing, but takes everything. The story of Judah and Tamar tells us about this type of men. If you didn't know that this story is told in the Bible, you might think that I took it from a TV series.

Judah was the fourth son of Jacob. You must remember him as the man who came up with the idea of ​​selling his brother Joseph into slavery. Judas himself had three sons. When the eldest son grew up, Judah found him a wife named Tamar. For reasons that have not been fully revealed to us, their marriage was short-lived. "Ir, the firstborn of Judah, was objectionable in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord slew him" (Genesis 38:7). Judah gave Tamar as a husband to his second son, as required by the law and customs of that time. Onan was obliged to give birth and raise children who would bear the name of his brother, but he refused to do this. He was a proud, selfish man who angered the Lord, so "He put him to death" (Gen. 38:10). You probably already understand the general idea: when a man behaves like an egoist, and a woman suffers, God is angry.

Judah had one more son, Shelah. This boy was his last son so Judah had no desire to give it to Tamar. So he lied to her and sent her home, saying that when Shela was old enough, he would give her him as a husband. He didn't. What followed is hard to believe, especially if you think Tamar was a virtuous woman. She disguised herself as a harlot and sat down by the road along which Judas was to pass. He slept with her (used her) but was unable to pay for her services. Tamar took his seal, baldric, and cane as collateral. After some time, it turned out that Tamar was pregnant; Judas, learning about this, was filled with righteous anger. He insists that she be burned, while Tamar presents evidence against him. "...Find out whose seal it is, and the bandage, and the cane." Judas was convicted. He didn't just recognize his stuff - he realized what he had been doing all along. "... She is more right than me, because I did not give her to Shela my son" (Gen. 38:25-26).

This cautionary tale shows us what happens when a man selfishly refuses to exercise his power for a woman. But we see things like this all the time. Beautiful women are subjected to this kind of abuse all the time. They are sought, but not in the right way; they are desired, but this feeling is superficial. They learn to offer their body, but never try to offer their soul. Most men, you see, marry to feel secure; they choose a woman next to whom they feel like real men and who does not require them to behave in a way that is proper for a real man. One young man who arouses my admiration struggles with his feelings for two women: he meets one in currently, and from the other he could not achieve reciprocity a few years ago. Rachel, the woman he is dating, demands a lot from him; frankly, he feels that he cannot give her what she demands. Julia, a woman from whom he could not get reciprocity, seems to him a more suitable match; in his imagination it seems to him more perfect. Life next to Rachel cannot be called calm; life next to Julia seems to promise peace and quiet. “You want to live in the Bahamas,” I said. “And Rachel is like the Atlantic Ocean to you. a real man?” In an amazing turn of the script, God is turning the plans we have made for our own security backfired and requires us to show courage.

Why don't men offer their women what they have? Because they feel it won't be enough. After the fall, some kind of emptiness formed in Eve's soul, and no matter how much you give her, you cannot fill this emptiness. Many men stumble on this. They either refuse to give the woman what they can, or they give and give and still feel like failures, because she still needs more. "Here are the three insatiable," warns Agur, the son of Jakeev, "and the four who will not say, 'Enough! Proverbs 30:15-16). Do not even hope that you will fill the void of Eve. She needs God more than you, just as you need Him more than her.

So what should you do? Offer her what you have. "I'm afraid it won't work," one of my patients told me when I advised him to get close to his wife again. "She stopped believing that I could give her something," he confessed, "and that's good." "No, no," I said, "it's terrible!" He was heading west to meet all his relatives, and I suggested that he take his wife with him and turn this trip into a vacation for the two of them. "You need to take the first step towards her." "What if I fail?" - he asked. So many men are asking the same question. Won't work what? She will not appreciate you as a man? Can't you resurrect her feelings? Do you understand now that you cannot come with your question to Eve? No matter how masculine you are, you will not be able to please her. If you expect her to appreciate your strength, then you will inevitably get two points. But you love her not at all because she will give you a high mark. You love her because you were made to love her, which is what real men do.

Eve for Adam

My friend Jen said that if a woman lives in accordance with her nature, she will become "bold, vulnerable, and she will have a bad reputation." This is the loud cry of "churched women", whom we take as a model of Christian femininity. These always busy, tired and relentless women have reduced the life of their heart to a few desires and pretend that everything is fine with them. Compare them with women whose names are inscribed in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. In the list, consisting of almost all men, Matthew mentions four: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, and "the wife of Uriah" (see: Mt. 1:3, 5-6). The fact that Bathsheba was included in this list, but her name was not given, indicates that God was not pleased with her, but highly appreciated those three women for whom He made a pleasant exception by placing their names in male list. Tamar, Rahab and Ruth... This list will give us a new understanding of the "biblical understanding of womanhood."

We already know about Tamar. In the Epistle to the Hebrews (ch. 11), Rahab is called "witnessed in the faith" for committing treason. That's right - she hid the spies who came to reconnaissance in Jericho before taking the city. I have never heard that in women's groups in Bible study they talked about Tamar or Rahab. And what about Ruth? She is often set as an example in such classes, but she is not presented as the Lord showed her to us. The book of Ruth deals with one question: how does a virtuous woman help her husband be a real man? And the answer is: she seduces him. She uses all her feminine charms to encourage him to act like a man. As you remember, Ruth was the daughter-in-law of the Jewish woman Naomi. Both had lost their husbands and were in a very deplorable position; they had no men to take care of them, they were practically beggars, and in many other respects their situation was very vulnerable. It began to improve when Ruth was noticed by a wealthy single man named Boaz. We know that Boaz was a virtuous man. He offered Ruth his protection and some food. But Boaz did not give her what she really needed—a wedding ring.

And what did Ruth do? Here's how it went: to collect good harvest, people worked from early dawn until late at night; after finishing the work, they arranged a celebration on this occasion. Ruth at that time smeared her body with incense, put on a stunning dress and began to wait for the right moment. That moment came late at night, when Boaz had already had a little too much to drink: "Boaz ate, and he drank, and made his heart glad..." (Ruth 3:7). The expression "cheered the heart" is used here for conservative readers. In fact, he was drunk, and the proof of this was what he did after that: he fell asleep in unconsciousness. "...And he went and lay down to sleep beside the stack" (Ruth 3:7). What happened next can only be called scandalous; in the same verse we read: "And she [Ruth] came softly, opened it at his feet, and lay down."

Ruth's behavior described in this passage is by no means "cautious" or "decent." This pure water temptation - but the Lord considers him worthy of imitation, because the story of Ruth is singled out in a separate book, included in the Bible, and her name is inscribed in the genealogy of Jesus Christ. Of course, there will be people who will try to tell you what to beautiful woman"of that time" it was quite common to go up to a lonely man (who was drunk) in the middle of the night and crawl under his covers. These same people will tell you that the Song of Solomon is nothing but "a theological metaphor showing us the relationship of Christ and His Bride." Ask them how to understand such verses: "This camp of yours is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like bunches of grapes. I thought: I would climb a palm tree, I would grab hold of its branches ..." (Song 7: 8- 9). We're reading the Bible, aren't we?

No, I don't think Ruth and Boaz made love that night; I don't think they behaved inappropriately. But I don't think they had a friendly dinner that night either. I want to tell you that the church cripples women when it tells them that their beauty is vain and that their femininity is best shown when they "serve others." Woman showing her best qualities when she acts like a woman. Boaz needed a little nudge to get going, and Ruth had a few options. She could tease him: "You keep working and working. Why don't you stop and show yourself to be a real man?" She could tearfully ask him: "Boaz, please, don't delay, marry me." She could doubt his masculinity: "I thought you were a real man; I guess I was wrong." But in order for Boaz to show himself to be a real man, she behaved like real woman. She appeared before him, inspired, prompted to action ... seduced. Women, ask your men what they would prefer.

This is a battle

Will you fight for her? That was the question Jesus asked me many years ago, on the eve of my tenth wedding anniversary with Stacey, just when I was asking myself what happened to the woman I married. "You're waiting for something, John,- he said. - You need to decide on something." I knew what He meant to say: stop being a nice guy and act like a warrior. Be a man. I gave Stacey flowers, took her to restaurants; I tried to resurrect the faded feelings in my heart. But I knew that something more was required of me. That night, before going to bed, I prayed for Stacey in a way I had never prayed before. Loudly, in front of all the heavenly host, I declared that I would fight for her against the forces of darkness that attacked her. To be honest, I did not quite understand what I was doing, I just wanted to accept the challenge thrown by the dragon. The whole hell fell upon us. That night began the spiritual battle that Stacey and I had read so much about before. And do you know what happened? Stacy has found freedom. As soon as I started to really fight for my wife, the tower of her depression collapsed.

It is necessary not only to endure the battle once, but to fight again and again. It is this truth that confuses us. Some men are ready to fight once, twice, maybe even a third time. In fact, a warrior must be constantly ready for battle. Oswald Chambers asks us, "The Lord sacrificed the life of His Son that the world might be saved, are you willing to sacrifice yours?" Daniel is fighting a very difficult battle for his wife, and the end of this battle is not yet in sight. For several years now, he has practically no progress, his hopes are fading. Last night, when we were sitting with him in a cafe, there were tears in his eyes, and this is what he said: "I cannot move. Near this obstacle I am destined to die." He has come to the point where sooner or later we all must be, when it is no longer a question of victory or defeat. His wife may or may not respond to his actions. This is no longer the most important thing. The question is: what kind of man do you want to be? Maximus? Wallace? Or Judas? In 1940, a young pilot air force Great Britain on the eve of his last flight wrote these lines: "The world is so big and so old that the fact of the existence of one person can be confirmed only if he sacrifices his life."

Today, Stacey and I were at the wedding of our friends. This wedding was the best we have ever attended - beautiful, romantic and devotional. The groom was young, strong and brave; the bride was seductively beautiful. It was these circumstances that were so painful for me. How great it would be to start over, do everything right, marry a young man, knowing what I know now. I could love Stacey more, more devotedly, selflessly; and she could love me more, more tenderly, more passionately. During these eighteen years, every lesson we have learned has been hard-won for us. All the knowledge that I share with you on these pages has been paid dearly. Last weekend, my relationship with Stacey was put on the line, a spark ran between us. Satan seized the opportunity and managed to turn this spark into a flame, even though my wife and I didn't say a word to each other. And today, by the time we came to the banquet, I no longer wanted to dance with her. I didn't even want to be in the same room with her. It seemed that our marriage brought us only pain and disappointment.

It was only later that I realized how Stacey perceived everything that happened to us, and that's how each of us felt. Stacy: "He was disappointed in me. And this is not surprising. Just look at all these beautiful women. I feel fat and scary." I: "I'm so tired of fighting for our marriage. How I wish I could start over. It wouldn't be so hard. There are other options. Look at all these beautiful women." These thoughts returned and returned, like oncoming waves. I was sitting at a table in a circle of friends and suddenly felt that I was suffocating; I had to get out of there, inhale fresh air. To be honest, when I left the banquet, I had absolutely no intention of returning there. This evening could end for me either at the bar, or at home in front of the TV. But luckily next to banquet hall I found a small library; alone, in this shelter, I struggled with all my feelings, which tormented me, as it seemed to me, for about an hour. (Perhaps not more than twenty minutes.) I grabbed the book, but I couldn't read, I tried to pray, but I didn't feel like praying. Finally, some words began to be born in my heart:

Jesus, come and save me. I know what's going on; I know it's an attack from Satan. But at this moment my feelings seem so sincere to me. Jesus, set me free. Don't let this current take me away. Talk to me, save my heart before I do something stupid. Cleanse my soul, Lord.

Slowly, in some incomprehensible way, the wave began to subside. Passions subsided. Clarity returned. The spark became a spark again. "Jesus, You know about the pain and disappointment in my heart. What should I do?"(The bar no longer attracted me, but I still planned to go home and spend the rest of the evening in my room.) "I want you to come back and invite your wife to the dance." I knew He was right; I knew that somewhere in the depths of my soul I wanted just that. But that desire still seemed so weak. I hesitated for a few more minutes in the hope that He would offer to do something else. He was silent, but the attack of the devil stopped, and only coals remained from the fire. I knew again what kind of man I want to be.

I returned to banqueting hall and invited Stacey to dance; the next two hours we spent on this holiday were the most beautiful in a long time. I almost lost this battle to the evil one; but this did not happen, and now for a very long time I will share this story with friends.

Conclusion

Stacey has given me many wonderful gifts over the years, but I will never forget the one she gave me last Christmas. We had already unwrapped all the presents when Stacey suddenly slipped out of the room saying, "Close your eyes... I have a surprise for you." After much rustling and whispering with her sons, she told me that I could open my eyes. A long rectangular box lay on the floor in front of me. "Open it," Stacey said. I removed the tape and lifted the lid. In the box was a real antique broadsword, a Scottish sword, exactly like the one that William Wallace had. I've been looking for a sword like this for months now, but Stacey didn't know about it. It wasn't on the list of gifts I wanted for Christmas. She bought it out of her heart, trying to thank me for fighting for her.

This is what was written on the postcard:

This gift is intended for a person with brave heart who fights for the hearts of so many people... and especially mine. Thanks to you, I have found freedom that I could not even dream of. Merry Christmas to you.

LIVE THE ADVENTURE

Weaken the breath of cold;
From the ice of misery of ages
Freed, they set in motion.
And the loud crackling of floating ice floes
Promises us a riot of spring waters.
Praise be to the Creator, our age is
What is evil in many guises
We are caught by every moment
Until we make
That grandiose rise of the soul,
Which cannot be compared. *

Christopher Fry

The Lord calls you to a place where the quenching of the thirst of this world will bring you joy.

Frederick Buchner

A river winds through southern Oregon, originating from the Cascades mountain range and flowing to the coast. This is the river of my childhood that has carved its way into the deep ravines of my memory. As a little boy I spent a lot summer days on the Rog River, fishing, swimming and picking berries; though most of the time I fished. I like the name given to this river by the French hunters - "Naughty". This name was a kind of blessing of my adventures - I was a prankster on the river Rog.**

* Translation by N. Bobrova.
** English title River Rogue translates as "prankster, naughty." - Note. per.

Somewhere between Morrison's house and Foster's Shoal, a cliff hangs over this river. At this point, the canyon narrows, the river becomes deeper and quieter before flowing into the sea. The high slopes of the cliff overhang on both sides of the river, and on the north side - which can only be reached by boat - the cliff is called Jumping. As a family, we really love to jump into the water from steep cliffs, especially when the weather is dry and hot, and the jump promises to be long enough to take your breath away when, after passing through a warm layer of water, you dive into where it is dark and cold, so it is cold that, panting, you will try to quickly emerge back to the sun. Jumping Rock rises above the river to about the height of a two-story house; it's high enough for you to count to five before you hit the water (jumping off the perch at the local pool, you'll barely count to two). Amazingly, the rocks seem twice as high when we look down before the jump and every cell in our body says: "Don't even think about it."

Therefore, you do not think, but force yourself to climb the steep and enjoy the free fall, which lasts so long that it seems to you that during this time you could read the Lord's Prayer to yourself. When you dive into cold water, all your senses are sharpened, and when you emerge, your relatives joyfully greet you, and something inside you also rejoices, because You did it. That day we all jumped: first me, then Stacey, Blaine, Sam and even Luke. And another big clumsy guy who was about to go down when he saw how high he would have to fly; but he jumped anyway, because looking at Luke's jump, he couldn't go on living, knowing that he was afraid, that he couldn't do what a six-year-old boy had decided to do. After the first jump, you must jump again, partly because you don't believe you've made it, partly because fear gives way to delight. We basked in the sun, and then ... rushed down again.

This is how I would like to live my whole life. I would like to love even more passionately, without expecting to be loved in return. I would like to go headlong into creative work worthy of God. I would like to participate in the battle of Bannockburn, to walk on the water after Peter, who answered the call of Jesus, to pray for the fulfillment of the true desires of your heart. As the poet George Chapman said,

Give me a spirit that is in the stormy sea of ​​this life
He likes strong winds to blow his sails.
Even if its deck is cracking and its masts are bending.
And his ship is listing so hard to one side
That you can scoop up water and see how the keel cuts through the air.

Life is not a task to be solved, it is an adventure to be lived. This is the essence of it, and it has always been like this since the beginning of time, when the Lord wrote a spectacular script for this drama and said that it Fine. God arranged the world in such a way that it opens for us only when risk becomes the leitmotif of our lives, and this, in turn, occurs only when we live by faith. A man will not be happy until his work, love and spiritual life become an adventure for him.

right question

A few years ago, I was flipping through the introduction to a book and suddenly came across a sentence that changed my life. God approaches us in a purely individual way and speaks to our hearts in a very special way for each - not only with the help of the Bible, He uses the entire creation for this. He talks to Stacy through movies. With Craig through rock and roll (only yesterday he called me and said that the song "Running Through the Jungle" inspired him to read the Bible). To me God's word comes in different ways - when I watch the dawn, or chat with friends, or watch movies, or listen to music, or relax in nature, or read books. But it's especially funny when it comes to books. Wandering through a secondhand bookstore, I can suddenly "hear" one of the thousand volumes as if saying to me: "Take me," just as Augustine wrote in his "Confession": tollelegs- take it and read it. Like a skilled fisherman, God casts his line into the water where the trout are swimming. In the introduction to one book I picked up that day, the author (Jill Bailey) shared with readers the advice his spirit guide gave him:

Don't ask what this world needs. Ask yourself what brings you back to life and do it, because the world needs people who are brought back to life.

This phrase interested me so much that I was speechless with amazement. I suddenly realized how disgusting my whole life up to this point had been; I realized that I was living a script written for me by someone else. All my life I have been asking the world to tell me what to do. This is fundamentally different from when you ask for advice or advice; in fact, I wanted to free myself from responsibility, and especially from the need to take risks. I wanted someone else to tell me how I should be. Thank God, this was not destined to come true. I couldn't live long with the script that was handed to me. It didn't fit me like Saul's weapon. The world of posers has nothing to offer you but to become a poser yourself. As Buchner said, we are constantly in danger of becoming not actors in the drama of our lives, but experimental creatures, "go where the world takes us, go with the flow with everything that happens around, trying to keep up with the strongest." After reading Bailey's advice, I knew it was God speaking to me. It was an invitation to leave the land of Ur. I put the book back down without even looking at the next page and left the store to go in search of a life worth living.

I applied for admission to graduate school and was accepted. Study contributed not only to my career growth; thanks to the changes that happened to me in the process of education, I became a writer, psychologist and public speaker. The whole trajectory of my life has changed, and with it the lives of many, many other people. But I almost gave up on that path. You see, when I applied, I didn't have a cent to pay for my studies. I was married, I had three children, and I had to pay the interest on the mortgage; during this period of life, most men completely give up their dreams. The risk seems too great for them. In addition, at that moment I received a call from a firm in Washington DC and was offered a job that promised incredible earnings. I would be in a prestigious company, moving in very influential circles and earning a lot of money. Thus, the Lord further complicated the situation by testing my resolve. One path led to my dream, the fulfillment of desires for which I could not pay, and a completely uncertain future; the other - to success, confident career advancement and the complete loss of my soul.

This coming weekend I went to the mountains to put my thoughts in order. Life seems more understandable when you stand alone on the shore of a mountain lake with a fishing rod in your hand. When I climbed Holy Cross Wilderness, it seemed to me that I was freed from my false image and the influence of this world. On the second day the Lord spoke to me: "John, you can take this offer if you want. It's not a sin. But this job will kill you, and you know it." He was right; to take this job meant to agree to live in accordance with their false image. "If you want to follow Me, He continued, you must choose another path." I knew perfectly well what He was talking about - the "other way" led to the unknown, to new opportunities and perspectives. On next week surprisingly three more calls followed. The first one was from that firm in Washington; I told them that I was not suitable for the job and that they should look for someone else. When I hung up, my false self screamed: "What are you doing?!" Another call came the next day; it was my wife. She said that they called from the graduate school and asked when I would make the first installment of the tuition. On the third day, I received a call from an old friend who was praying for me and for my decision. "We think you should go to school," he said, "and we want to pay for your education."

Of two roads at a crossroads in the forest
I chose the most untrodden
And after that everything changed.

What are you waiting for?

Where would we be today if Abraham, after listening to God's offer to him, carefully weighed the pros and cons, and decided that it would be better for him if he stayed in Ur, keeping his medical insurance, for three weeks paid vacation and pension savings? What would have happened if Moses had taken his mother's advice to "never play with matches" and acted carefully and prudently, avoiding any burning bushes? We wouldn't have the gospel if Paul had come to the conclusion that the life of a Pharisee may not be the epitome of all men's dreams, but at least it is predictable and certainly more stable than that which awaits him if he follows. a voice that I heard on the way to Damascus. After all, people often hear all kinds of voices, and who knows if God is talking to them or it seems to them. Where would we be if Jesus Christ was not passionate, wild and romantic? Think about the fact that we would not exist at all if the Lord had not taken a huge risk by creating man.

Most men spend their energy on taking as little risk as possible, minimizing it. Their children hear "no" much more often than "yes"; their employees feel bound hand and foot, just like their wives. If they succeed in making their lives safe, not taking risks, they weave a cocoon for themselves and at the same time wonder why they have nothing to breathe. If this fails, they curse God, redouble their efforts, and suffer high blood pressure. If you look closely at the false image that a person is trying to create, you will see that there are always two components in it: the desire to increase one's competence in some matter and the rejection of everything that cannot be controlled. As David White said, "The price of our vitality is the sum of all our fears."

In the Book of Genesis we read that for the murder of his brother, the Lord condemned Cain to the life of an exile and a wanderer; after reading five more Bible verses, we learn that Cain built the city (see: Gen. 4:12, 17). The unwillingness to believe in God and the desire to keep everything under your control sits in every man. White talks about the contradiction that exists between the desire of the false self "to gain power above happening, to control all events and their consequences and the desire of the soul to gain power thanks to what is happening, no matter what happens." You literally sacrifice your soul and your true power when you seek to control everything, like that guy from the parable told to us by Jesus. He decided that he would cope with life's difficulties, get rid of all problems by building large granaries, but he died the same night (see: Luke 12:16-20). "... What is the use of a man if he gains the whole world, but damages his soul?" (Mark 8:36). By the way, you can lose your soul long before you die.

Canadian biologist Farley Mowat had a dream - to study the life of wolves in their natural habitat, in the wild in Alaska. The book "The Wolf That Doesn't Cry" is based on the impressions of his research expedition. Mowat became the prototype for the protagonist of the film based on this book, Professor Tyler, a bookworm who had very little idea of ​​life on the expedition. Tyler hires an experienced Alaskan pilot, Rosie Little, to deep winter delivered it, along with equipment, to Blackstone Valley. As they fly in a small, single-engine plane over some of the most beautiful, rugged, and dangerous terrain on earth, Little questions Tyler about the secret purpose of his expedition:

Little: Tell me, Tyler... what's so special about this Blackstone Valley? What is there? Manganese? (Silence.) Well, certainly not oil. Maybe gold?
Tyler: Hard to say.
Little: You clever man Tyler... you keep your plans to yourself. We're all gold diggers here, aren't we, Tyler? We are all swarming ... looking in the ground ...
(After a pause.) I'll tell you a secret, Tyler. Gold is not in the ground. There is no gold here. The real gold is much further south, it sits in its living room, staring into a box and dying of boredom. Dying of boredom, Tyler.

Suddenly, the plane's engine makes a few coughing noises, then there is a crackle, a wheeze... and it freezes. You can only hear how the wind flutters the wings of the plane.

Little: (With a groan.) Oh, God.
Tyler: What's happened?
Little: Take the steering wheel.

Little hands over the helm of the plane to Tyler (who has never flown a plane in his life) and begins to nervously search for something in an old toolbox between the seats. Unable to find what he was looking for, Little begins to freak out. With screams, he turns the contents of the box onto the floor. Then, just as suddenly, he calms down, rubbing his face with his hands.

Tyler: (Still panicking and trying to fly the plane.) What happened?
Little: Boring, Tyler. Boring... that's what happened. What can beat boredom, Tyler? Adventure. ADVENTURE, Tyler!

With that, Little throws open the plane door and practically disappears behind it, hitting something, perhaps a frozen fuel pipe. The motor starts up again just as they nearly crash into the mountainside. Little grabs the yoke and steers the plane steeply up, narrowly missing the top of the mountain, and then down into a beautiful valley.

Rosie Little may have been crazy, but he was a genius. He knew the secret male soul and a cure for the ailment that tormented him. Too many men have given up on their dreams because they didn't want to risk it, or because they were afraid they wouldn't pass the test, or because no one told them that the desires that are hidden in the depths of their souls, good ones. But the soul of a man, which Little calls real gold, is not made to be in control; she's built for adventure. We have some faint memories that when the Lord settled man on earth, he entrusted him with an incredible mission - He gave man permission to explore, build, conquer and take care of everything He created. It was Blank sheet, which had to be filled in, a canvas on which paint had to be applied. So, dear ones, God did not take back his permission. We still have it, and the world is waiting for a man to use it.

If you had permission to do what you want, what would you do? don't ask How, this way you will kill your desire. How- This wrong question, the question of a man devoid of faith. It means the following: "Until I see my path clearly, I will not believe in it, I will not dare to follow it." When an angel told Zechariah that his wife, in her advanced years, would bear him a son named John, Zechariah asked how this was possible, and for this he was struck dumb. Question How is under the control of God. He also asks you: What? What is imprinted in your heart? What brings you back to life? If you could do what you've always wanted to do, what would it be? You see, the vocation of a man is imprinted in his heart, and he will be able to find out what it is only when he ceases to restrain his deepest desires. To paraphrase Bailey, don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what brings you back to life, because the world needs men, who have been brought back to life.

Today, the problem of consumer relations between people is very relevant for our society. After all, it is hardly possible to find such a person who would never encounter such a phenomenon in his life. Some people had to experience the consumer attitude. And it hardly gave them pleasure. Others simply observed such relationships from the outside. But all of them can hardly admit that sometimes they play the role of consumers in the eyes of others and close people. After all, it is quite difficult to understand this. Typically, this is said by the victim, who is tired of being constantly used.

What is consumerism? This issue is worth looking into in more detail. After all, this will allow the wife to understand why the husband is constantly dissatisfied with the role of the eternal breadwinner, and the wife - why the wife is offended by him, talking about the lack of respect and attention. Having learned in more detail that this is a consumer attitude, parents will understand why their generally well-behaved child is not able to say words of gratitude.

The global problem of mankind

Representatives modern society often considered adherents of the cult of consumption. This is facilitated by the ever-increasing level of social benefits. The growth of the index of consumer relations quite often manifests itself only through the prism of satisfaction of certain requests.

People start collecting things. And they only do it because they can afford it. If something becomes unusable, then we, as a rule, throw it away, acquiring in return new item. And again, we only do it because we can afford it.

Concept definition

Consumer attitude is a phenomenon that has many negative sides. Enough has been said about this already. However, all this is not so scary. After all, it is worse if it comes not to inanimate objects, which, in fact, are created in order to be used, but about consumer attitude to people. Victims of this phenomenon, describing the nature of their feelings, often indicate that they feel like an ordinary thing.

A person who shows a consumer attitude towards people uses others as a resource. At the same time, he does not care at all about their feelings and does not have a desire to give anyone anything in return. In those cases when the victim begins to realize his position and understands that everything cannot go on so simply, it is she who takes the initiative and breaks such a connection.

However, unfortunately, it is far from always possible to objectively assess the situation. Sometimes the victim lives with the consumer, suffers, but continues to suffer. Sometimes she worries silently, sometimes she is indignant out loud, but she endures, not fully realizing her position.

Examples of a negative phenomenon

Exist various relationships. How can they be expressed? In general, consumption is a process that allows you to fully satisfy own desires, needs. At the same time, it allows a person to achieve goals using various means. Judging by the definition, consumer attitude is a phenomenon that we encounter in one way or another every day in our lives. However, it is not always a problem. Its negative sides are manifested only when the interests of a certain person are infringed, due to which a person begins to realize his desires.

If we do not take into account the purely material aspect, then the consumer attitude in society is manifested in the following aspects:

1. Often such troubles arise between a woman and a man. At the same time, representatives of the stronger sex use women only to ensure that they maintain the comfort of life, satisfy purely physiological needs, they have them just for show, etc. There are many options for such relationships.
2. Sometimes the consumers are ladies. They use the representatives of the stronger sex for their own material gain, as well as for the realization of their feminine etc.
3. Another type of consumerism is the sometimes unfair attitude of children towards their parents. Moreover, this phenomenon is quite widespread. Parents sometimes do everything possible to bring their child into people. But in the end, the son or daughter not only does not thank them for their efforts, but also nullifies all their efforts.
4. Consumer attitudes towards people can often be found in friendship. Almost every person has probably encountered this type of similar phenomenon. After all, there are such friends and girlfriends who appear only when they need something - to borrow money, spend the night, etc.
5. Consumer relations are also manifested at work. Most often, this phenomenon comes from the authorities. It uses its subordinates, squeezes all the juice out of them, but is not going to pay for it. Or vice versa. A person, being in a leadership position, tries to treat everyone in a good way. He respects other people's opinions and interests, but the annoying employee constantly asks to go home early without completing the task, as his grandmother allegedly fell ill again.

It should be borne in mind that in the case when any of the types of relations described above towards a person begins to cross all sorts of boundaries, and he feels that he is simply being used, this problem must be resolutely dealt with.

Consumer attitudes towards men

In the case of a patriarchal society, all the functions of the head of the family are certainly assigned to the representative of the stronger sex. At this time, it is believed that a woman should obey the decisions that were made by him. On the one hand, it can be argued that a man is given a very privileged position. However, this medal has its own flip side. Such social roles gradually lead to the fact that the personal traits of the spouses begin to be erased. Each of them is within a clear framework of patriarchal standards.

In such families, both sides lose out. The husband suffers from the fact that he is considered only as a source of income, family well-being and domestic comfort. No one perceives him as a living person with his desires, needs and emotions. love in similar marriages, as a rule, is either absent initially, or rather quickly begins to fade into the background, fading away.

The consumer attitude towards a man gradually leads to his realization that his wife needs him mainly only for material support. It's just wonderful when the head of the family is able to pay for a family vacation or give his soulmate expensive thing. However, it is not normal if:

• his surprises and presents are taken for granted;
• he never gets anything in return;
• in the absence of an expensive gift, a woman expresses misunderstanding, irritation and expresses resentment;
• Communication with a spouse comes down to only one-sided reproaches with demands like “you must”.

In such a situation, a man should be aware of whether he is ready to endure such an attitude towards himself for the rest of his life. Unfortunately, re-educating an adult is unlikely to succeed. And if a certain scenario has been laid in the head of the spouse since childhood family life where only consumerism finds expression on her part, and where there is no mutual respect, support and sympathy, it is unlikely that her approach to this issue can be changed with the help of quarrels, requests and conversations.

It is worth noting that a similar view of relationships is sometimes developed by a lady already in marriage. This happens due to the fact that the spouse is the first to begin to treat his soulmate with a consumer attitude. He deprives her of the right to vote in important decisions, and also demands that the wife unconditionally perform "typically female" functions, raising children, working at home, etc. This is how he forces his wife to treat him in the same way.

Consumer attitudes towards women

Many husbands sometimes do not even notice that they themselves create relationships in the family that are more like slave-owning than love. Such representatives of the stronger sex absolutely do not care about the mood of their wife. It doesn’t matter to them how people around them look at their soulmate.

The consumer attitude of a man towards a woman is expressed in the fact that the spouse never helps her in solving everyday issues and problems. The main thing for him is order in the house, cooked food and the fact that the mother is raising children. But all this, they believe, should take place without their participation.

Wives in such families constantly complain about their lives in various forums, go to psychologists, and seek support from their friends. They are not satisfied with the husband's indifference, his detachment and misunderstanding of the current situation. However, conversations directly with the head of the family are no positive results do not give. After all, these men have a consumer attitude towards a woman precisely because they do not see in her a person who has her own beliefs, desires and habits. For them, the spouse is a slave who lives to fulfill his whims. Earn respect for a woman normal attitude It's usually very difficult for yourself.

How to explain such a consumer attitude? This phenomenon may not always be due to the high salary of the husband or his social status. After all, it often happens that a spouse who brings much smaller amounts to the family than his soulmate, and is less busy with other things, still strives to shift everything onto the fragile shoulders of his partner. everyday problems. And a similar phenomenon can be observed all the time. Most often, the foundations of such relationships are laid in the boys themselves. early childhood. Unfortunately, not all parents can understand in time that their child seeks only to receive from life, without giving anything to people in return.

Often a woman does not understand why she is so unlucky with her husband. She is trying to find the answer to the question of what she is doing wrong. But the reason, as a rule, lies precisely in the man. At the same time, psychologists distinguish three types of personality of representatives of the strong half of humanity, each of which in its own way relates to its soul mate. Let's consider them in more detail.

connoisseur

A man with this type of personality takes care of his soulmate. He treats her without fail with tenderness. For such men, it is especially important that their partner always look one hundred percent.

That is why they have nothing against the beloved striving for perfection. Such women do not focus on household chores, and their spouses tend to take on part of the family chores.

Democrat

A man with this type of personality respects the preferences and tastes of his wife. This happens even in those cases when he cannot agree with her on this or that issue. A Democrat would never wake his woman up on a day off to get up and make him breakfast. He will patiently wait for her to get out of bed. In addition, this man himself will be able to cook himself scrambled eggs and sandwiches. In such a relationship, partners take care of each other without shifting their responsibilities onto other people's shoulders. Such a man respects a woman and sees a person in her.

slave owner

Such a man has developed a consumer attitude towards a woman. He is not interested in what his wife looks like and what she is wearing. It is worth noting that a lady sometimes also does not care about her appearance. After all, a woman simply does not have time for herself.

Psychologists note that such a consumer attitude of a man cannot lead to anything good. After all, people are only happy when they can make others happy. Otherwise, they will feel mentally exhausted and feel unloved.

What to do so that the child does not grow up to be a consumer?

Most parents dream of seeing their child obedient, trying in every possible way to stop his manifestations of initiative. The result of this is childish infantilism, which persists in the future for many years. In those cases when, at the age of one, babies treat their parents, and indeed everyone around them, as a source of benefits, you should not blame the child for this. At his early stage of development, he simply does not realize where sweets and toys come from and at what cost adults get them. If similar situation repeats in the future, that is, in kindergarten, school and student age, then this is already abnormal.

How to wean a child from a consumer attitude to life? To do this, parents should leave him space that would allow him to make independent decisions. And let it be still at the minimum level that is available for the appropriate age of the child and is safe for him. Children should be allowed to help their parents. Then the exchange of goods will be bilateral between them. In this way, parents will be able to instill in their son or daughter values ​​that are considered more important in society than consumer values. Thanks to such upbringing, children from the earliest years will acquire the ability to show gratitude and respect, to sympathize and to provide assistance.

Consumer attitude in friendship

Spiritually close people always share their emotions, time, actions, and sometimes material values. That is why we can talk about friendship as a relationship that is based on a mutually beneficial exchange. Only in this case they will continue and develop. However, sometimes it happens that an equivalent exchange between people does not occur. In this case, sooner or later, but the giving side will certainly come to exhaustion. She either has nothing to share, or desire will disappear doing so.

What is the reason for the consumer attitude in friendship? It is based on disrespect for the values ​​and personality of another person. Sometimes a situation arises when a person wants to be friends. However, at the same time, he shows inattention to the feelings and thoughts of another. He simply does not pay attention to his reaction to his actions and does not draw any conclusions. For example, he can greatly offend a friend and not notice it.