Giving birth is not harmful. Why are late children often talented? What is the difference between "late children"

Late fatherhood is in vogue. Popular rumor ascribes exceptional talent to such children. So is it good or bad - old dad?

WORD TO GENETICS

A person's talent does not depend on the age of his father, says the head. Department of Medical Genetics, Russian State medical university doctor of medical sciences professor Vladimir SITNIKOV.

All the calculations that lovers did to delve into the genealogies of great people, with scientific point vision is not built correctly. Researchers took biographies famous people, looked at the age of the parents at the time the genius was born, and often received data that the father had already reached advanced years by this time. But when modern scientists took a sample of ordinary men and looked at what their later children turned out to be, they did not find a relationship between the age of the father and the abilities of his child.

Still, there are benefits to being a late father.

What's good about us?

Usually a talented person by adulthood already realizes all his abilities. And if his intellectual and creative flowering is imprinted in the germ cells, this mutation can make a late child smarter and more energetic than his older siblings. But for this, the father must be an extraordinary person, and such mutations occur very rarely.

In the germ cells of a mature man, changes can occur that sharpen the work of any one part of the child's brain. The child will have, for example, phenomenal mathematical ability or a very good memory.

A study by the German geneticist Vogel found that outstanding men are more likely to marry outstanding women. And vice versa: in 96% of cases, the wives of men who have low level intelligence, also turn out to be by no means intellectuals. Even a smart young man, having married early, often makes mistakes in his life partner; clever man, remarried or late married, is more likely to choose a worthy half. A the intelligence of the mother is very important for the future development of the child- not only because clever woman will be more concerned with children, but also for the reason that a significant part of the genes that are responsible for giftedness is transmitted from the mother.

By choosing a smart mother for his children, a man will dramatically increase the intellectual level of his offspring.

Skills alone are not enough - for their development need environment A. To create it for your child, of course, is easier for a mature, accomplished person than for a young person.

But all these advantages can only affect children extraordinary man, and even that is not certain. The benefits of late fatherhood are unlikely to extend to the children of ordinary men with an average level of intelligence.

What's wrong?

There are more disadvantages of late fatherhood, and they appear more often. How older parents, the more likely that their child will have certain developmental defects. Men are more likely to work in hazardous industries, and they are more prone to bad habits than women, which means that there are a lot of breakdowns in their germ cells with age.

Of course, more often than not, older dads have normal children. And yet, genetics do not recommend planning children after 45 years.

First of all genes break down, which in the process of evolution arose last - those that are responsible for mental activity. It used to be believed that Down syndrome in a child occurs due to breakdowns in the maternal genes. It has now been established that the contribution of male and female genes in the occurrence of this disease is approximately the same. A man can be “guilty” even a little more.

Dad's damaged genes can cause limb malformation, defects in immune system child.

Another "legacy" that an aging dad can leave to his late children is increased risk get cancer or fall into premature aging: a condition when cells in the body, due to a violation of the activity of one of the enzymes, begin to divide with incredible speed. Unlike other anomalies that are visible immediately after birth, the last two diseases can knock down a late child when he himself becomes a father.

WORD TO PSYCHOLOGISTS

When a family where the husband is not young decides to have a child, this first of all speaks of its strength. And yet, spouses need to be prepared for some psychological difficulties associated with the age of their father, say child psychologists Olga KRUSHELNITSKA and Antonina TRETYAKOVA.

On the one side

A mature person perceives everything that happens more calmly, can predict events. For children, such features are a great boon: they provide emotional stability of the relationship give the child a sense of security. A late father will help develop logical thinking child.

The elderly dad has more life experience, he is very responsible approach to education, seeks to put the child firmly on his feet. Such fathers select a good educational institution for their child, consult psychologists, do not allow the mother to spoil the child, and bring up responsibility in him.

Elderly dad who reached high social position, has, as a rule, extensive connections, its own business or a name in the world of professionals. It's very good "start-up capital" for a child.

On the other side

A small child is an energetic being. He is ready to roll a rattling toy around the apartment for hours, jump and squeal, and wants dad to participate in his games too. This does not always please the elderly father, and conflicts arise. They can be prevented by giving the child the opportunity pour out your energy not for dad: give to kindergarten, sports section. The father will play with the heir in the evening Board games, reads aloud, helps to assemble an aircraft model ...

An older man is hard to bear outdoor games especially with my son. The physical contact of the child with the father is in many ways an imitation of a struggle. The child is trying to knock down the mighty giant, to free himself from the iron enemy grip... The emotions received in such a fuss are extremely important for mental development boys. And the elderly father is ready to give physical contact sooner female type(hugs and kisses). The advice here is simple: try to get the boy to communicate more with older brothers, young uncles, family friends.

Do not blame the child if, while playing, he hung on someone else's man.

For a good psychological climate, the family needs harmony in sexual relations spouses. If a woman experiences chronic dissatisfaction (because sexual activity older men often decreases), this also affects the child. A man in an atmosphere of irritability will increasingly move away from his family, immerse himself in work and personal interests. And the child is likely to experience a double load maternal love and worries that will interfere with normal development.

Family life is not limited to the walls of the house. The child will have to explain to people more than once or twice that this man is not his grandfather, but his dad. For him to say these words with pride, the father must be modern man , and not a "dinosaur", which measures everything by the standards of the last century.

who are late kids? for example me. my mother gave birth to me at 38, with terrible pressure, cesarean, but she gave birth "for herself."

I have always understood women who did not manage to give birth before 35, it just so happened and no matter for what reasons, they give birth now, when they are about 35, or a little more, or much more, it doesn’t matter ... this is her first and long-awaited child whom she will love, care for and do everything to make his life easier and easier. such children are born because "they want THIS child."

but I never understood women who give birth late. I don’t want to offend anyone now, no, this is just my experience, I’m a late child, I just want to tell you, suddenly it will come in handy for someone. as my husband’s aunt said, women who give birth late do not give birth because they want a CHILD, but because they want to HAVE A CHILD, this is a whim, menopause is coming, but you want to look young, you want to be pregnant, to be taken care of, cherished, worried. it is by birth that all this is achieved. especially those who already have older children.

There are 4 of us in the family, I am the youngest, my older sister was 17 when I was born. absolutely everyone at home did not understand why mom wanted another one. even dad didn’t understand this… well, my sister was 17 years old… right now she’s 42 and I’m 25, and she can tell me everything to my face. then, at 17, she hated me, because she ceased to be the youngest, most beloved, she was put to sit with me instead of going on a date or to the movies with her girlfriends. “no, of course I loved you,” she says, but I interfered with her, she cried at my bed when she couldn’t calm her down ... a lot more ... all because the family is big, my mother went to work early, except there was no one to sit with me. only recently my sister confessed to me that the first races married not by Great love, and in order to escape at least somewhere from my mother and from me, so that they would stop hanging all possible cases on her ... after our conversation with her, I felt guilty for a long time.

school… all the time while I was studying my mother was always called my grandmother. there is probably a problem in my mother, when I was born, she finally put it on her appearance, on what she wears and how she looks, stopped wearing makeup and combing her hair normally, stopped buying new things ... everyone called her my grandmother. The situation worsened especially in the senior classes, when all the parents came to the meetings and I understood that from the outside she really looks like my grandmother. and I was also very jealous of other girls, my classmates, because their mothers helped them comb their hair, helped them dress better, told them how to make up beautifully, taught them to walk in heels, they could come to their mothers for advice, tell them about the boy they liked ... We had taboos at home. the most best hairstyle- a ponytail or a braid, I only started to paint in college, because it's not decent, to paint nails in general, all this fucking! heel?! what a heel!!! Only prostitutes wear heels! I bought the first shoes with a heel higher than 3 cm for myself at the age of 18 when I gave up cursive) I still wear them sucks))

I don’t know what happened to my mother, sometimes I look at her photos, black and white, she’s beautiful there, in short skirt and in heels, with Angela Davis on her head. and she's 17 years old. I look and I don’t understand why she didn’t allow me to do so.

as she told me, she gave birth to me for herself, because she understood that she would become an old and useless grandmother, that’s what I’ll come in handy for, she told me this to my face, said that she never had plans that I I will get married, that she never had any plans that I would want children, that I would even want to leave her. she did not allow me to paint because she was afraid that someone would like me and leave her.

cons - by adulthood, I became a tough, well-knowing lie girl, stepping on a pile of rakes for 150 million races because there was no one to turn to for advice. I don't love my mom, I just feel sorry for her.

And now her health is very bad, diabetes. many will probably say that diabetes is not a problem, you can live with it, and I agree, of course you can, you just need to take care of yourself and not give up. only now she has already put it. now she’s whining and every day at dinner she says that “everything hurts ... there’s no strength as it hurts ... I’d rather die ... and you don’t need me ... it will only become easier for you to die ...” girls and this is EVERY DAY for 7 years ... and the most It's disgusting that I start to agree with her, it will become easier for me. so that my husband and I don’t go for a walk, for example, she can act out a heart attack, or the fact that she is suffocating, or that her eyesight has fallen and there is only snow and circles in front of her eyes ... a one-man theater. and in the last race, she told my husband “do you hope that I will let you go? no, you will live with me until I die, endure Lyosha ”… EVERY DAY ..............

another horror from childhood, even two, after which I stopped going to her for advice.

when I started having fever, I was 12, I came to her all scared, and instead of telling me how great it is, like all normal mothers, that now I’m an adult, that there’s nothing to worry about, instead of helping me pick up panties and comfortable pads, she said that I would suffer like this for up to 40 years, every month, that it hurts and is disgusting, they say, be patient, and instead of panties with a comfortable thin pad, she handed me her old Soviet rubber underpants !!! I think that those women who are about 65 right now understand perfectly what I'm talking about ... she gave me this crap, ran to the pharmacy and bought me a pack of bella, the longest and thickest, without wings! it was a nightmare!!! all night in these rubber shorts!!! I did not sleep. in the morning I went to my sister to go to the vykhino, and here they finally showed me which panties are more comfortable, which pads are better ....))

After that, I stopped going to her for help.

dear mothers, who are about 35 right now, read this, the most important thing is not to be selfish, give birth to children for their own sake and not because you wanted to in your old age, love them, do not think about yourself, do not forget that it is important for a child how he looks Mom, do not be capricious, most importantly do not score on your health, if something hurts, get treated, because by putting on your health you will not let your child live the same life as his peers. the main thing is your health. and your hobby is very important, so as not to bother your late children with your old age, whining and insanity, find a job for yourself)

I hope that I didn’t offend anyone, I just told, shared, I hope many will at least take something out of it.

A quarter of a century ago, most of the students at the end of the institute became mothers, and now they want to first “walk”, then “how to get settled in life”, “take place professionally” ... And when a woman matures to the desire to have a child, she is often well over thirty .

It would seem, live and rejoice. A late baby is almost always welcome. All conditions are created for him, the best is given to him. Mom no longer wants to run away from the baby to the theater or to her girlfriend in the evening, she bathes in motherhood. Even the word “I” disappears from her vocabulary, being replaced by the pronoun “we”: “We are already holding our heads ...”, “It’s time for us to get vaccinated ...”

However, child psychiatrists believe that later children are often vulnerable both physically and mentally, and especially psychosocially, since late-birth mothers often experience pathologies of pregnancy and childbirth, which affects the health of babies.

Late children are more prone to all sorts of disorders: endocrine, allergic, psychosomatic.

With a late child, it is difficult to avoid the so-called overprotection, which gives rise to infantilism and children's fears. As a result, the already unstable psyche of the child is shaken even more.

No one to play with

Late children often have no one to play with, because many of them are non-Sadovsky for health reasons, and friends of their parents have children much older and not good for friends. It is easier for a mother to read a book to a child than to roll cars with him on the floor for hours. She is more willing (and this is quite understandable!) to teach him English words than climb under the table, depicting a hare hiding in a mink from a fox. Therefore, in the upbringing of late children, a tilt towards intellectual development is so noticeable. But they combine intellectual adulthood with social immaturity, and “under-acting” in childhood is fraught with an unexpected outburst of infantilism, an unexpected interest in the game at an age when it is time to live not just for fun, but in earnest.

Winter of our anxiety

At the age of 5-6, almost all children begin to think about death. But parents are usually not very worried, because they are still young. It's harder for older kids. They are already prone to anxious expectations, but there are very real grounds for anxiety. They often have no other rear than their parents, and the fear of losing them is very strong.

The anxiety of late children is also increased by the anxiety of their parents. Having received a long-awaited child in his declining years, elderly mothers and fathers, of course, are very worried about his life and health. And children, like antennas, capture the mood of adults.

In a big family

In large families, where, of course, a late child can also be born, the situation is different. The birth of the mother, as a rule, proceeds normally, without injuries and complications. Parents have a wealth of experience, grown older children (of course, with proper upbringing) become reliable assistants mother and babysitters. Last in big family reach out for the elders and quickly acquire social and everyday skills, like a fish in water, feel themselves in a different age children's team. This greatly facilitates their life, including school, because a significant part of the problems school maladaptation engendered by the psychological difficulties of the child.

Late children in large families do not suffer from loneliness. A large family clan, older brothers and sisters are a reliable rear for them. Yes, and parents are calmer when they understand that in which case there is someone to take care of their youngest.

However, in any case, a child is a great happiness. And let it be with the most different people: both young and not so much anymore ...

Among the great people there were many late children from large families. The great Russian scientist Dmitry Mendeleev was the fourteenth child in the family. Spanish classic Miguel de Cervantes is fourth, writer Anton Chekhov is third. Prince Daniil of Moscow, to whom Moscow owes its rise, is named in the annals as the fourth of the sons (hence, there were also daughters in the family).

Personal opinion

Julia Mikhalkova:

The opinion that late children have a lot of problems, since their parents often spoil them, in my opinion, is still a delusion. I will agree only with the fact that such children are the most long-awaited. But, in my opinion, this is not a reason to love a child more or less. Parental love is a constant value.

so, for information, although not indisputably :)

Childbirth after 40 years
An aged woman is pregnant. This may be the most different reasons. Our grandmother, for example, married late, so she gave birth to her mother - her only child - at thirty-six. Mom got married quite early, but ten years of war and devastation lay between me and my sister. One of our friends just couldn't do it for a long time. Until thirty-four, she was treated, at thirty-five she gave birth to a daughter, and at forty - twins: a boy and a girl. My close girlfriend gave birth to a son to her second husband, when the daughter from her first marriage was already finishing school ...

In general, there are thousands of reasons why a woman gives birth later than doctors usually recommend. In the West, this can already be called a pronounced trend: women have their first child closer to forty simply because they want to solve all the other problems first: get an education, make a career, achieve a good financial situation, acquire own house, check the correctness of your choice and the strength of the union.

Many today simply do not want to depend on a man. Not only financially: they don’t want to wait at all: marries - doesn’t marry, they don’t want to give birth from someone they managed to “catch”.

Today, often a woman makes a career more successful. Having achieved material independence, she can decide for herself who to give birth to, whether a husband is needed for this or not - all this also affects general position affairs.

It makes sense to say that the amazing advances in medicine today allow even postmenopausal women to have children. And if doctors in the consultation and the maternity hospital call women older than thirty-four "old mothers", then what can we say about a pregnant woman in her sixties?

In a word, in countries where women work on an equal footing with men, build their own destiny and make a career, the number of "old mothers" is steadily increasing. And this is a good enough reason to take a closer look at the problem.

Late kids are no worse than others

Let's start with the positive. No one has yet proven that late children are in poorer health than the children of younger mothers.

Such an opinion really existed before - and it had good reason. In those days, when women gave birth as much as God gave, the last children were often in poorer health, since the resources of the mother's body were exhausted as a result frequent pregnancies, childbirth and breastfeeding. But if a woman at thirty-six is carrying her first child (and does not smoke and leads healthy lifestyle life) - there is no reason for this child to be born weak and frail. At least all such children, personally known to me, are quite healthy. And thanks to the exemplary care and diligence of their more "adult" mothers, the children give the impression of being extremely prosperous and flourishing.

On the other hand, there is a strong opinion that later children are smarter and more talented. We do not have statistics, so it is impossible to either confirm or refute the prevailing opinion. It is possible that the matter is not at all in natural talents. With late, long-awaited, precious ones, they can simply mess around more, create them Better conditions for development. But today it has already been proven that it is upbringing that plays a decisive role.

Finally, thanks to the development of medicine, diagnostics, and childbirth techniques, late pregnancies and childbirth have become much less risky than they used to be. So women who, for one reason or another, arranged their fate later than others, can most likely count on healthy offspring. May God grant them in their turn to know the happiness of motherhood.

more favorable and less auspicious time

On the other hand, today, when conception control has become so a simple matter, the birth of a child is often postponed by deadlines. It is known after all that children are always at the wrong time. Either earnings do not allow, then the apartment is small, then there is not enough for a car ... If earlier a healthy couple normally had a baby in the first year of family life, today many are in no hurry with this. Yes, and family life itself often has the character of a protracted experiment.

It will be useful for such couples to familiarize themselves with other information. So, it is known that hormonal changes in a woman - the first signs of a decrease in fertility (fertility) - appear on average at 26 years old. That is, best time for the birth of children today, as well as a hundred years ago: 18-28 years for a woman and 20-30 years for a man. No matter how medicine develops, our body changes little. He has his own laws. AND the best doctors at all times it was recommended to listen to these laws, to reckon with them and to focus on them when making important decisions.

Smoking, malnutrition, a difficult environmental situation also leave an imprint on a woman's health. And often their influence is much more serious and dangerous than the actual age-related changes. However, these influences are in a sense related to age: after all, if a woman, say, smokes from the age of 23, and has her first child after 30, then her “experience” as a smoker has already managed to cause quite serious damage to her vessels, lungs and body in in general. Even if during pregnancy she quits smoking (and this is completely necessary condition), then it is no longer possible to completely correct the situation.

We present here some other data relevant to our topic.

It's good to know that...

With age, the condition of the uterus usually worsens, including in nulliparous women.

First: the difficulties associated directly with conception. More precisely, with the introduction of a fertilized egg into inner surface uterus and its anchoring there.

That is, every year the very likelihood of conception and pregnancy decreases. As a result, those who have delayed too long may have to spend significantly more time conceiving a baby ... or making sure that without medical assistance it doesn't work anymore.

Second, the risk of miscarriage increases with age. This is due to the state of the uterus, and the accumulation of chromosomal defects.

Late miscarriages more often associated with the health of the mother. Their cause may be the development of "diabetes in pregnancy" or hypertension. If the fetus in the process of development is in hostile environment- this can also put internal mechanisms before a difficult choice.

Tests during pregnancy

There are many genetic disorders, the frequency of which is in no way related to the age of the mother or father. But the risk of some other anomalies clearly increases with age. These include, in particular, Down syndrome. That is why doctors recommend that pregnant women over 35 be sure to be tested for the presence of such abnormalities.

The following table shows that the risk gradually increases every year, doubling between 35 and 38 years and ten times between 38 and 48. If at 35 years old there is one case of Down syndrome for every 335 conceptions, then at 48 years old - one for every 15.

* Ultrasound. Carried out between 11-13 weeks of pregnancy, an ultrasound scan allows you to determine the amount of fluid under the skin of the fetus (on the back of the neck). The low accuracy of this test makes it impossible to make a conclusion about the presence or absence of chromosomal defects. But the test allows you to decide on the appropriateness of further checks. If something alerted the doctor, he, as a rule, sends the pregnant woman for more serious research.

Ultrasound at a period of about 18-20 weeks allows you to detect visible anomalies in the development of the fetus, such as incorrect formation of the skull or spine.

* Blood test for AFP (alpha-fetoprotein). This double or triple test usually performed around 15-18 weeks of gestation. It allows you to calculate your individual risk anomalies like Down's syndrome. This test does not affect the child himself and does not allow you to confirm or deny the presence of anomalies in him. But if, according to its results, it turns out that the risk in this specific case high, the doctor may refer the pregnant woman for more accurate (but also less safe) examinations.

* Invasive tests - in other words, those associated with penetration into the uterus and taking some samples for analysis are carried out only according to indications.

Starting at 11 weeks, placenta samples can be taken. They are taken either through the wall of the uterus or through the cervix. Both options cannot be considered 100% safe, as they slightly (slightly) increase the risk of miscarriage.

Preliminary results of the analysis can be ready in 24 hours, final results in 7-10 days.

Starting from 16-18 weeks, another test can be performed - taking a sample amniotic fluid(the one in which the fetus floats inside the uterus). An analysis of this fluid allows you to determine the presence of defects in the fetus that are characteristic of Down syndrome. It will take 3-4 weeks to get the final results, but these results are considered quite reliable.

Carrying a child is your most important business

The following notes apply to all pregnant women, but are especially important for those over 35:

* Don't act like you don't care. Pregnancy is a very serious matter, it should take over the rest of your life. Limit your stress at work and at home. Accept any help that is offered to you.

* During your lunch break and after returning home from work, the first thing to do is to sit down so that your legs are raised higher. At a minimum, place them on the seat of a chair the same height as yours. If it is possible to recline in a comfortable chair with your legs up, use it.

* Limit your entertainment, going to visit and so on - it's better to go to bed early. This is especially important if you have to work every morning.

* Switch to loose clothing as early as possible. Even if the belly is not yet visible, it is very important that tight clothing does not interfere with blood circulation. Give up high heels- for pregnant women, it is not only harmful, but also dangerous.

* Stockings or tights, on the contrary, should be denser, tighter - it is better to buy special supportive ones at the pharmacy. Some women varicose veins veins first makes itself felt during pregnancy, in others it progresses noticeably at this time. If your feet are no longer in best form- the more they need care and attention.

* Even if until now you have been frivolous about your diet - now everything must change. Your baby should get everything he needs. Talk to your doctor about whether you need to take additional vitamins, mineral supplements, iron supplements. Try to make up the majority of your diet natural products that have not undergone industrial processing.

Doctors often proceed from the fact that since the mother is "aged" - it means natural childbirth is unlikely. And they immediately tune in themselves and set the woman up to the need caesarean section.

Meanwhile healthy woman over 35 has good chances give birth without surgical intervention. We must not forget that this is not indifferent to the child: children prefer to be born the way nature has appointed them. For the woman in labor herself, natural childbirth is also preferable: a woman recovers faster after them, she is less likely to have problems with breastfeeding.

It is better if a pregnant woman will still tune in to natural childbirth and prepare for them. That is, lead active life, study special gymnastics, master all the techniques that help competently give birth.

Many middle-aged primiparas choose to give birth in water and join the appropriate groups precisely because they take the moral and physical training pregnant. This does not mean that a woman will certainly give birth at home or on the seashore: she can go through all the preparation, and then go to the hospital, especially if the doctor suggests complications.

Regardless of age, contractions are usually significantly longer in primiparas. It is believed that attempts in older women take longer. Although with me, for example, an elderly woman gave birth, who gave birth to her first child at the age of forty in two hours. At that time she was already forty-two and she gave birth to the second. I had to go down to the maternity room one floor below. She passed the first flight herself, the second one was already lowered on a stretcher - and they barely had time to bring it in ... So there are exceptions to the rules.

We add that, according to statistics, with age, it is more common multiple pregnancy(twins, triplets ...), more often noted breech presentation and other "uncomfortable" positions of the fetus, prematurity or overmaturity is more often observed.

On the other hand, the chances of an old mother to feed a child herself are the same as those of a young one. You just need to set yourself such a goal - and not deviate from it.

Reproductive capacity and age

Individual fertility (ability to bear children) is determined by heredity, as well as the influence of various factors environment. With age, the ability to conceive decreases. It may take a year or more for a woman over 35 to conceive. If within a year a couple who wants to have a child does not conceive, they need to be examined.

Approximately 35% of fertility problems are related to male fertility, the same number - with the female. In 20% of infertile couples, both partners have problems. In other cases, experts fail to find the cause.

The older the couple, the more energetic measures the husband and wife should take, as their reproductive capacity decreases every year. Finding out the causes of infertility will take some time. It may also take years to heal. If it does not give results, it will take more time to select an effective high-tech method with which the couple can still have a child.

It must be borne in mind that the efficiency modern methods also decreases with age. If time is lost, even the best clinic in the world and big money do not guarantee success.

Increased risk of serious fetal chromosomal abnormalities with a woman's age

Age 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 48

Risk 1:335 1:270 1:215 1:165 1:130 1:100 1:75 1:60 1:45 1:35 1:25 1:15

Tips for late parents

Now many young people are in no hurry to start a family and children. If twenty-five years ago, by the end of the institute, most of the students became mothers, now they first want to “take a walk”, then “how to get settled in life”, “become professional” ... And when a woman finally matures to the desire to have a child, she often finds herself already over thirty, or even closer to forty.

It would seem, live and rejoice. A late baby is almost always welcome. All conditions are created for him, the best is given to him. Mom no longer wants to run away from the baby to the theater or to her girlfriend in the evening, she bathes in motherhood. Even the pronoun “I” disappears from her lexicon, being replaced by the pronoun “we”: “We are already holding our heads well ... we are tormented by gaziki in the evenings ... we have to get vaccinated tomorrow ...”

However, child psychiatrists are highly critical. “Late children are a risk group,” says Professor Kozlovskaya. - They are very vulnerable both physically and mentally, and especially in the psychosocial. Late pregnancy is often difficult, with fetal hypoxia, with cord entanglement. A woman usually cannot give birth on her own, she is given a caesarean section. And if she still gives birth on her own, these are difficult births. All this, of course, affects the health of babies. Late children are more prone to all sorts of disorders: endocrine, allergic, psychosomatic. In the first year of life, they are almost completely painful.

Your grandmother is here!

"I hated kindergarten- recalls nineteen-year-old Nina. - But not because I had to sleep there during the day or because I was offended there. No, I had more fun in the garden with the children than at home. But every evening I longingly waited for the guys to cry: “Nina, your grandmother came for you!” I did not dare to tell them that this is not a grandmother, but a mother. I was afraid of ridicule, and every time it was a serious injury for me ... "

But it's still half the trouble. After all, you never know what injections of self-esteem children have to endure! Some are traumatized by their fullness, others by the need to wear glasses with glued glass to correct strabismus, others by clumsiness, and fourth by poor school performance. All of us have faced ridicule and fear in childhood.

Here, something else is more dangerous: the fact that the “late” mother is not only physically, but also psychologically closer not to her mother, but to her grandmother.

Youth is characterized by recklessness. When I remember how my husband and I traveled along the Caucasian serpentine in forty-degree heat, and on back seat passenger car sleeping, having drunk, our two-year-old son, it becomes creepy for me. But we, overwhelmed by the excitement of youth, seemed invulnerable to ourselves. A few years later, having become a little wiser and settled down, I already treated my little daughter in a completely different way, much more carefully. And having given birth to a third child at the age of thirty-four, in general, up to two years, I tried to transport him as little as possible even around Moscow, because I was afraid of infections and noticed that the baby was nervous about the noise of traffic, the abundance of new faces ...

With a late child, it is very difficult to avoid the so-called overprotection. Especially if he is the only one who has suffered through suffering, and even does not have enviable health. And overprotection breeds infantilism and children's fears. As a result, the already unstable psyche of the child is shaken even more. The world seems to him aggressive, full of dangers. Such an attitude prevents children from communicating normally, and serves as a breeding ground for the development of neuroses. In adolescence, when pride and the desire to assert oneself come to the fore, this often turns into a desperate rebellion. “He broke off the chain, did not want to listen to anything, went into all serious trouble” - these are the typical complaints of confused parents who do not understand what happened to their recently so dependent child.

Where can I find a playmate?

Young parents still have a lot of children in themselves. On the one hand, this is a minus, since adults sometimes stand on the same level as a child. Dad plays board games with his son as with an adult partner and does not want to give in to any, mom is seriously offended by her daughter as a girlfriend. But on the other hand, it is usually easier for them to play with a child, and to run, and jump, and fight. They have not yet forgotten themselves in childhood, and they don’t stab in the side, their heart doesn’t grab.

Late children also find themselves in a disadvantageous position here. They often have no one to play with, no one to mess around with.

Most of them are “non-Sadovsky” for health reasons, and the children of their parents’ friends are much older and are not suitable for friends. It is easier for a mother to read a book to a child than to roll cars on the floor for hours. She is more willing (and this is quite understandable!) to teach him English words than to crawl under the table, depicting a hare hiding in a mink from a fox. Therefore, in the upbringing of late children, the tilt in the intellectual direction is so noticeable. Most often they grow up early, are judicious beyond their years. But they combine intellectual maturity with social immaturity. And “underplaying” in childhood is fraught with an unexpected outburst of infantilism and an unsatisfied thirst for play at an age when, in fact, it’s time to start living not for fun, but in earnest.

From anxiety to irritability

At the age of five or six, almost all children begin to think about death. But parents are usually not very worried, because they are still young, full vital energy.

For older children, this is more difficult. They are already prone to anxious expectations, but there are very real grounds for anxiety. Deprived of the society of peers, having no brothers and sisters (and often grandparents!) The child feels lonely. He has no other rear, except for his parents, and the fear of losing them is very strong.

The anxiety of late children is also increased by the anxiety of their parents. Having received a long-awaited child in his declining years, they, of course, are very worried about his life and health. And children, like antennas, pick up the mood of adults, and their own fears are magnified many times when disturbing waves come from their parents.

Anxiety, uncertainty, fear give rise to irritability. A person worries, cannot cope with himself, and splashes out his irritation on those who are not afraid - usually on those closest to him. "Late" mothers feel insecure in the pedagogical field. On the one hand, they do not have parental experience, and on the other hand, self-criticism is already very developed. They want to give their child everything to the maximum, they experience their pedagogical mistakes much more acutely than young parents, more often suffer from a sense of their own inadequacy. Striving for perfection, they often make high demands on the child, compare it with other children. They often lack patience - everything seems that they will not be in time, there is little time left, the years are passing, they must have time to invest as much as possible in the child.

And late children, as already mentioned, are nervous, they often have attention deficit disorder, fatigue, excitability, disinhibition. with them and professional teacher does not always cope, not like an inexperienced mother. Then the mother buys a mountain of psychological and pedagogical literature, begins to follow the advice of specialists. But the advice in different books is different, some clear line cannot be followed, and therefore the result is zero. The mother is even more nervous, begins to break down. And who is always there? Who is the closest and most defenseless? Of course, baby. The circle closes. The dearest and most beloved, the one for whom she is ready to sacrifice everything in the world, is under attack. And figuratively, and sometimes in the literal sense of the word.

Everything mentioned above mainly applies to only children. In families with many children, where, of course, a late child can also be born, the situation is fundamentally different. Childbirth, as a rule, proceeds normally, without injuries and complications. The mother has a wealth of parental experience, grown older children become reliable assistants and nannies for the baby. Later children are drawn to the older ones and acquire social and everyday skills much faster than others, like a fish in water they feel in a group of children of different ages. This greatly facilitates their life, including school life, because a significant part of the problems of school maladjustment is generated by the psychological difficulties of the child.

Late children in large families do not suffer from loneliness. A large family clan, older brothers and sisters are a reliable rear for them. Yes, and parents are calmer when they understand that in case something happens about them little son or the daughter has someone to take care of.

All this creates much more favorable conditions for the mental and intellectual development of the child. Maybe that's why there are not so many first-born among great people? So, the great Russian scientist Dmitry Mendeleev was the fourteenth child in the family. The German composer Ludwig van Beethoven is the seventh. Spanish classic Cervantes - fourth, Chekhov - third. Prince Daniil of Moscow, to whom Moscow owes its rise, is named in the annals as the fourth of the sons (hence, there were also daughters in the family). An outstanding woman of the Catherine era, Princess Dashkova was born fourth. By the way, our current president Vladimir Putin is also a late child. And not a firstborn either.

From the file "Nanny"

Now you can often hear that in late pregnancies there is a very high risk of having a baby with Down syndrome. But statistics show otherwise. “The likelihood of this is surprisingly small at all ages, despite the hype raised in last years, - writes American researcher Jacqueline Kazan. - In children born women in their forties, the probability of the disease is 1 in 100, and in women under thirty - 1 in 1000. IN Russian textbooks for medical universities, the figure is 3% (during childbirth at the age of 45), that is, 3 per 100, which is also not so much.

Chronicle of late birth

Hormone therapy was invented in the 1930s. Doctors began injecting an extract of pregnant mare urine (later called Premarin and used by menopausal women) into a group of infertile women. Some of them were able to get pregnant.

In the 1950s, in vitro (outside the human body) fertilization appeared.

Ten years later, there are drugs that improve fertility (days when you can conceive). The oral drug Clomid is the most commonly prescribed.

In 1978, Louise Brown was born - the first "test-tube" baby. British doctors managed to achieve fertilization of the egg in vitro and implant it in the mother's body.

In the 80s, scientists learned not only to extract and fertilize eggs, but also to freeze embryos, store them for a long time. Two new types of fertilization have been created: in one case, the sperm and egg are launched into the fallopian tubes where fertilization takes place; in the other, the embryo first grows in a test tube and only then is implanted in the uterus.

The development of procedures that improve fertility puts ethical issues to doctors in the 1990s. A 63-year-old California woman, hiding her real age, becomes pregnant with the help of a donor egg and becomes the mother of a healthy baby girl. On this moment she is the oldest recorded woman in the world to have given birth to a child.

From the file "Nanny"

According to the latest research arterial pressure children directly depends on the age of the mother.

This pattern was established by specialists from Harvard Medical School, who have already examined more than 300 newborns. According to the results of the processing of the first data, for every additional five years of the mother's age, the pressure in the child rises by 1.5 millimeters of mercury. According to one of the authors of the study, Dr. Matthew Gillman, the exact cause of the increase in blood pressure in children has not yet been established. Presumably, this should be blamed on a violation of the production of hormones in a woman, against which the age pregnancy and decreased placental function.

Research plan for "late" moms:

on the 11th-14th a.d. b. - Ultrasound of the uterus;

on the 16-20th a.d. b. - a woman's blood test for blood hormones (alpha-feta protein and human chorionic gonadotropin). Results after 2 weeks;

at any time from the 16th a.d. b. until the end of pregnancy - amniocentesis - the study of amniotic fluid. Results - in 3 weeks;

l 20-24 n. b. - Ultrasound;

l at any time from the 20th n.b. until the end of pregnancy - cordocentesis, the study of umbilical cord tissue cells. Results in a week.

From the file "Nanny"

Perhaps age affects the gender of the child. Women who dream of sons, as a rule, are drawn to mature men! Scientists from the UK have found that women whose husbands are 10-15 years older than them give birth to their first male child twice as often as those whose husbands are the same age or younger.

Research shows that children of adult parents do better in school and have more leaders among them. As for geniuses, it's more difficult. The latter at birth are more often premature, which is also not uncommon in late births. Late-born children have a “meaningful” conservative upbringing - parents are wiser. As a result, a personality is formed, socially somewhat isolated, emotionally closed, but at the same time striving to control the situation as much as possible. In a word, boss.

Many women more often postpone motherhood for a period of life when the long-awaited stability has been achieved and a career has been built. So, let's figure it out: a late child is the best way out, or you still shouldn't put off the happiness of motherhood, and after forty already nurse your first grandson.

What does late baby mean?

Before weighing the pros and cons, we will agree that we will consider the first-born as “late”, and not the youngest in a large family.

In our time large families, as a rule, are associated with an irresponsible approach to education, not prosperous families and "difficult" children. generally accepted norm- one, two, maximum three children.

After all, the baby needs so much.

Stroller, crib, toys, clothes, and also - every day - diapers and baby food. But you never know the problems and worries of a young family. And I also want to succeed in my chosen profession, see the world. Often a young woman is simply not mentally ready for motherhood, besides, there are so many interesting things around.

Why then not give birth to a child later, at least after 30? I propose to evaluate the pros and cons of this approach.

Benefits of late motherhood

By this time, most childless couples already have time to realize how much they want to become parents. Having reached a certain level of prosperity, the family is financially independent and can give all unspent love long-awaited baby.

Using the examples of acquaintances, I realized that mothers of “late children”:

Even during pregnancy, they pay maximum attention to health, and hence the health of the unborn baby. They scrupulously follow the doctor's prescriptions, eat well, and most importantly, they are joyfully waiting for the appearance of their first child. Yes, and dads in such families show a responsible approach to the birth of a baby;
They surround the newborn with love and attention, are patient. The child grows up in a calm, friendly environment. The baby has the best conditions for growing and developing;
They often bloom on their own. After all, the body produces a maximum of hormones necessary to give birth and feed the baby. It has been noticed that most of the women who lived to the age of 90 gave birth to a child at the age of 35-40.

Adult successful people spend a lot of time with the child, play and study, rejoice at his small victories. Not surprisingly, this gave rise to the myth of the genius of late children.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) geniuses are not born that often. Simply, kids, surrounded by such love and attention, can early childhood seriously ahead of peers in intellectual development.

We have received an ideal model of a family, where people who have realized themselves, who have managed to live for themselves, raise their beloved and almost brilliant child with responsibility. But there are times when not everything is so rosy.

Possible problems of late pregnancy

Until recently, a woman over 25 years old who gave birth to her first child was called the "old primipara". An acquaintance who gave birth to her first child at the age of 25 and a half was shocked by both the honorary title and the fact that she was classified as at risk. She naively thought that she was just giving birth because she felt like an adult.

Fortunately, the birth of a baby in adulthood no longer surprises anyone, however possible problems the course of pregnancy and childbirth did not decrease from this.

In pregnant women after 35-40 years, the risk of developing:

Ectopic pregnancy;
fetal hypoxia;
Toxicosis of the 2nd half of pregnancy;
Intracellular pathologies. The probability of having a child with Down syndrome increases a couple of times;
Weak generic activity and, as a consequence, the need for stimulation or surgery.

If a woman at the time of motherhood followed her health, does not have bad habits And chronic diseases, then everything can pass without any complications. However, other difficulties arise in the life of such a family.

Problems of "late children"

The problem of raising a “late” baby is associated with the inability to give birth to a second child. Often children who have no brothers or sisters grow up selfish.

The second most important fact is that parents doom themselves to a closed existence. After all adult woman, but at the same time, a young mother has nothing to discuss with her friends, whose children have already finished school. However, she is more likely not to be among twenty-year-old mothers walking with strollers in the yard.

Also, the “late” child will be deprived of full communication with grandparents, who, due to their age, are no longer able to cope with their grandson.

So, when is it better to plan replenishment in the family - having managed to finish her education, plunge into the world of endless feedings, walks and diapers, or do it when you give the baby all the best, starting with a rattle and ending with a choice educational institution?

There can be no single answer, everyone has their own priorities. However, when postponing the birth of a child for a distant future, remember: the baby will need you even when he is an adult.

Dear ladies, if possible, give him both prudence and wisdom middle age, and the energy of your youth.