Psychology of relationships. About men's ability to love. Cold and harsh, like an iceberg in the ocean: can men love?

Most Popular phrase. which men type on the Internet is: “Married, but in love with someone else.” What is the reason for this, have married men fallen in love again or they simply cannot forget the one they loved in their youth? After all, men often get married, hoping to forget the girl they truly loved. But not everyone succeeds, then the man looks on the Internet for ways to forget the girl who did not reciprocate his feelings.

The desire to love is not crime. if this is true love. As you know, you can’t order your heart. It is usually customary to condemn those men who have an affair on the side. But it often happens that a guy meets a girl and it seems to him that he loves her. They get married, start a family, and after living together for some time, the man realizes that next to him is not the woman for whom he could move mountains. If love is real, then it does not pass so quickly.

When a person, some time after weddings asks the question: “Was there love?” - then this is a sign that there was no real love. It’s just that many people confuse love with falling in love, which quickly passes as soon as family difficulties arise. After marriage, men realize that they have made a mistake, but due to their decency, they do not even think about cheating on their wife or getting a divorce. But love comes without asking permission or considering whether the man wants to fall in love.

The whole horror is that no matter what decent man. Temptations await him everywhere. He can fall in love completely unexpectedly and banally. For example, a work colleague, a wife's friend, or unknown girl, with whom he talked on the bus. At first it’s just talk, and then the family husband suddenly realizes that he has been struck by cupid’s arrow.

The most common reason why married men fall in love with another woman - this is marriage in early age. From the hands of his mother, a young guy who is only 18-20 years old, smoothly passes into the hands of his wife, who

replaces his mother. At first family relations he is quite happy with his wife-mother and it even seems to him that he loves her, but after a while the husband “ripes” and wants to feel like an independent person. To prove his worth, he decides to take a decisive action and begins to look for love on the side.

Having met someone else girl. he goes to her. But after several years, most of these husbands return to their first wife, especially if after his departure she began to take care of herself and became prettier. If they do not return, then they try to maintain friendly relations with their former wife.

IN in some families the husband My wife and I live like neighbors. The wife is always busy with children or work, she has no time for her husband. In this case, the husband begins to look elsewhere for the attention and care that his wife did not give him. It seems to him that the other one understands him better than anyone and is happy that he has finally found the one your soul mate, which I was looking for. But for such a man to leave his family at will he doesn’t want to, especially if he and his wife already have children together.

All relationships between husband and wife boil down to a constant showdown on the topic: “you didn’t do this to me, and you didn’t give me that.” Such a husband can leave the family only if his wife kicks him out herself. In fact, he loves his wife, and takes a mistress only to satisfy his needs for female attention.

Sometimes men confused sexual compatibility with love. Because of sexual compatibility, they lose their heads and think that they are truly in love. Meanwhile, passion passes after a couple of months, and compatibility with another passion disappears somewhere. If a man managed to destroy his family during this time, then, as a rule, he later greatly regrets it. But, in general, men who are in love for sexual reasons do not leave the family.

Currently there are many hunters for other people's husbands. Single women are especially interested in married men who are famous for their success and devotion to their wife. Seducing him with glances and playing male pride, she slowly but surely kindles the fire of love in his heart.

To achieve your goals she may ask him to help him out in a difficult financial situation, to accompany him home or take him to a restaurant. Over time, a decent family man, without meaning to, falls in love. He begins to torment: should he leave the family or not, who does he love more, his wife or his mistress? Decent men who fall in love do not always leave their family. Often he is afraid to change the way of life to which he is already accustomed.

Not wanting to offend my wife. he lives with unloved person and lies to her. At the same time, he is forced every time to justify his actions to his mistress and promise her that he will soon divorce his wife and everything will change for them. But there are also men who decide to take a desperate step and leave their family for one for whom they have strong feelings. You can’t tell your heart, no matter how much it hurts your wife in this case, you shouldn’t keep such a man. At least he is honest with her and gives her the opportunity to find her happiness. You just need to understand that the bitter truth is better than a sweet lie and let him go.

To be loved is the most natural state of a person, no matter what gender. The manifestations of this may vary, but the desire to become the one and only, unique and most important thing in life for someone is strong for everyone. Confident people clearly understand whether they are truly loved, and they also clearly react to a positive or negative answer.

And suspicious people are characterized by torment, doubts, constant need find confirmation of this love. The signs of a man's true love for a woman are transparent to the one who experiences the emotions, but will always be questionable for the one to whom they are directed. How to determine whether a man loves you or it just seems to you - are there such methods and how do they work?

How to find out if a man really loves you - several ways from experts that you can check for the presence or absence of deep passion.

ask directly if a man loves you. The simplest, but not the most effective. What your chosen one says may not always be true. It is better to observe behavior than to listen to words. In addition, if assurances of love occur too often, you should listen to your intuition - maybe he just needs something from you;
divination. Fortune telling yourself or seek help from people who do it every day. By itself, this method is unlikely to be effective enough;
care. By the way a partner treats his beloved, it is easy to determine the sincerity of feelings. If a man loves you, he will create such conditions for your life so that it is comfortable and calm. Having learned about problems with electrical wiring or a broken faucet in the kitchen, he will not wait for your decision or request, but will offer his help. It’s not for nothing that a jacket or jacket thrown over the shoulders of a loved one on a date in the park or along the embankment has always been an indicator of warmth (in every sense). He will help himself or invite someone who can solve the problem - but he will not leave his lady’s heart’s problem unattended;

shows that you are the property of this person. A man loves you if he shows others that you are his woman. If he is proud of you, demonstrates it to others, emphasizes your importance - as if he is marking his territory. It is unlikely that he will call you “his beloved,” but “my girlfriend” will certainly show affection;
protection. The companion will do everything to make the woman feel safe around her. Whether a man loves or plays is evident from this concern.
tests. No matter how accurate and psychologically sound the tests are, they still cannot give a 100% result. It can be considered in conjunction with other methods, but you should not blindly trust only one.

Signs that he loves

How to find out whether your chosen one loves you, by what signs, so as not to make a mistake and not take wishful thinking. Psychology tells us different variants How to determine the signs of a man's true love for a woman.

Words. Phrases that say how he treats you, for example: “I love you”, “I want to introduce you to friends / parents...”, “How many children would you like?”, “In the future I would like (and in these plans my beloved also participates)”, “I’m worried about you” and similar phrases. The point is that they express their attitude and plans for a joint future.
Actions. The actions of a man in love will always be directed towards you. They will express: care, involving the chosen one in your life, helping her in any situation, the desire to please her with anything and all sorts of attempts to show that now you are a very important part of life. What living together is of great importance. And then anyone will proudly say: “This is my man...”
He will never sacrifice meeting his beloved for the sake of communicating with friends, going to football or fishing. However, a lady should not abuse this either - having been with her comrades in a comfortable bachelor environment, she will rather want to return to the warmth of life together, and at the same time see that you value his freedom.
Indifference to individual details appearance ladies. Reading only the general image, created by clothing, does not pay attention to details: the style of trousers, the cut of a dress. He may give preference to something in his wardrobe, but do not reproach him for wearing certain things.

Whether a man really has a feeling can be seen by the fact that he will not turn off the phone for a long time, leaving you without any information about himself. Even if work requires a long absence, you will know about it immediately. A lover will take care of your peace of mind.
Your loved one has no reason to hide you from your family and friends. Introducing you to friends and parents is not difficult.
Strives by all means to avoid conflicts. If a quarrel can be avoided, he will do it while remaining calm. If a quarrel does occur, the desire to make peace will become stronger than personal resentment.
Denial of intimacy on your first evening will not be a relationship problem. A man in love will have enough patience to wait until his beloved is ready. And in the future in sexual relations he will not show himself as an egoist.
He will treat the children of his chosen one warmly and tenderly. Accepting his lady, he also tolerantly accepts the environment and loved ones who are in her personal life.
Opinion will be taken into account. It doesn’t matter how well you understand the issue, but the very fact of recognizing the right to an opinion is very important if the feelings are deep.
He will always take the blow and protect his beloved. On the street, in a store, in transport. She will be on her side in an argument, no matter how much her opinion is shared. He can explain, of course, exactly what, from his point of view, he was wrong about. but not publicly, but in private, but publicly he will take one side of the barricades.
Will share thoughts and feelings with the girl. How did the day go, what plans does he have, what does he think about the topic of a book or film... If no topics are discussed on principle, and not because of fatigue or workload, then probably not everything is as good as we would like.
General plans that he makes together with you. Not only do you participate in them, but you also play important roles. Complete absence plans only means that you are not there.
Female intuition - strong thing, and women should listen to her more often.

Love and behavior

How can you tell if a man loves you by his gestures and facial expressions? Most effective way, much better than sworn assurances of deep and sincere sympathy. So, the gestures with which male representatives show their attitude towards their beloved.

Partner's view. A long gaze wandering over the face, descending on the figure and legs. Some people, when they look at you like this, begin to get nervous and check to see if everything is in order with the wardrobe, but these are just feelings.
Eyes, eyebrows. When meeting, the eyebrows rise slightly, as if you surprised your companion with your appearance. Slightly dilating pupils when looking at you indicate increased interest in your person.
When you come into view, its body turns towards you. If he sits on a chair, his feet and knees are turned towards you - this also indicates a deep interest.
Mirroring. When communicating, the partner repeats, and unconsciously, gestures, movements, and catches the eye. With deep mirroring, even breathing and heart rhythm can coincide.
The desire to touch. Touch something by chance, straighten a curl or a wrapped scarf, hug, touch an arm or shoulder.

How can I find out if a person loves me if all this is not enough? If you are constantly fed breakfast without doing anything today, doubt your feelings. If you asked yourself the question “Does a man love me?”, most likely, you already understand that he does not. They probably already understood it themselves, by hidden gestures, by casually dropped words, by incomprehensible absence at important moments.

How to find out if your chosen one loves you? Spend the weekend with him. Observe the behavior. If you readily accept the offer to relax together, revive your feelings, which, judging by the doubts that have arisen, have been slightly crushed. Or take a closer look to see if the Lately spouse. In actions, words, preferences. You can check his attitude by asking whether he wants children and how many. What kind of future does he see with you next to him? If you are not married, ask about the possibility of going to the registry office. Deny sex - look at the reaction.

How to check if he loves you

Whatever different guys no matter what, you can check them using the same methods.

end the relationship unexpectedly. If he doesn’t show up in a week and doesn’t look for a meeting, he’s not yours;
will attract your attention with everyone accessible ways. The absence of this is an unpleasant sign;
complain that you are being bullied at work. Reaction - defense or indifference - will reveal the truth;
ask for a difficult favor. For your sake, am I ready to do something that makes life difficult (pick up in the evening after work, buy groceries along the way);
a good way is to “get sick.” The attitude towards a sick person acutely shows the nature of the connection.

Humanity tends to experience a whole range of experiences. However, they feel different people this range in different ways. For some, the slightest manifestation of emotion will become a weakness in character, a crack in the armor. For others, it will be the creation of a whole new world, filled with sensations, bright colors and fireworks. The difference between the emotions of men and women is especially characteristic. Women are not shy about showing off; this, in fact, forms the basis of their behavior. Guys perceive emotionality mostly negatively, defending the image created over centuries of a strong, strong and cold person. Can men love, deeply and soulfully, sincerely, truly?

Society has long and systematically shaped the attitude towards male representatives as protectors. Mostly this was external reasons, which encouraged men to be like this: protecting the clan, family from rivals and enemies, ensuring their lives. How can you become soft and gentle under such conditions if your attachment to your family, known to the enemy, makes you helpless and vulnerable in his eyes? Do not show your emotions to anyone, so as not to let yourself be defeated. And yet, what can a woman count on when she falls in love?

The strong will be able to defend their right to love and their family, and therefore they are not afraid of showing sincere emotions - they can stand up for themselves and for their condition. They are not afraid to look funny when talking about their inner world the one who won the heart. But for this they expect gratitude and mutual love. Weak, unsure of themselves through numerous love affairs try to establish themselves in their own eyes, make a stunning impression on others, thereby proving to themselves self-worth. They do not need passions, but the number of stars on the fuselage.

Male representatives enjoy the process of courtship and winning over their chosen one.

When conquest has grown into possession, courtship fades away - there is no longer a need for it. After all, each partner is sure that having won a woman once, there is no need to prove his affection to her anymore. Based on the “where will she go now” principle. Some people are happy with this, but others are looking for someone who will repeat this candy-bouquet period. Especially wise women They know how to constantly support this need for conquest - with their behavior, hints, soft tricks. Everyone is capable of winning his beloved if she is really needed and if the lady does not show that she has already been conquered, as if each time moving away slightly. And then the question of whether a man can love and show his attitude will disappear.

If we talk about the difference, one cannot help but recall the attitude towards intimate life. For men, sex and love are similar, some do not see the difference in these concepts at all. Love involves possession, conquest. What, if not sex, shows this completely. If we remember the original question, can guys fall in love, then we can answer it: like women - no, but like men - certainly.

How do you know if this is love?

Whether a man can love has become more or less clear. However, the manifestations of this are sometimes so elusive or incomprehensible that it is even more difficult to understand. Answers to questions of human relationships are given by psychology, a mysterious and often unprovable science. But it’s better than wandering in the dark. Are men capable of showing their attitude towards a woman by means that are understandable to her? Let’s look at examples of behavior towards the chosen one. Whether a person can love so secretly that not a single gesture, not a single word betrays him is very doubtful. So, we look closely, listen, notice.

Help. A gentleman accustomed to taking responsibility will take worries, problems and troubles into his own hands - it’s not for nothing that he feels affection for this lady. This means that he feels a desire to protect her from everything dangerous and complex. Moreover, help will be provided not only in truly overwhelming issues, but also in small things that can make her life easier. At the same time, he feels satisfaction from his ability to decide. He will not wait for requests for help or for the fact that the situation is completely unpleasant, he will see and offer it himself. Or he will simply decide for you, presenting you with a completed task. After all, the winner is not judged. The most sincerely in love do not even expect gratitude from their beloved. True, this does not mean that she should not do this - you need to appreciate everything that a loving person does for you.

Care. Since ancient times, gentlemen opened doors, let ladies through, helped carry heavy loads, paid receipts, and generally tried to surround the chosen one with attention and care. He actively participates in her life, and does not abstract himself, confining himself purely to his own. Today, a lot has changed, but if this moment is observed in his behavior, you will not be mistaken in believing him. Being quite selfish by nature, he will not do this for an indifferent person.
Support. A happy partner is a happy one who loves him. Respect for plans, decisions, thoughts, the desire to share values or offer something of your own, important and valuable - a trait of a lover.
Reassessment of values and priorities. When a person is alone, he respects his time and plans. When the object of his love comes into his field of vision, he also enters the zone of attention and interests, and therefore becomes one of the priorities. This is how new accents are placed, new important things appear. Now, when planning a meeting with friends, the interests of your loved one will also be taken into account. If this does not happen, it is worth looking at the other signs of falling in love; perhaps the woman sees what she wants, and not the real picture.
The desire for intimacy. It doesn’t happen that there is passion, but aspirations sexual contact did not have. We're not talking about now platonic love— everything there is also not so clear and transparent. But if he doesn’t reach out to kiss, doesn’t touch, doesn’t hug - either there is weak affection (not to say strange), or there is none at all. Perhaps some hidden goals are behind his interest, but not sincere feelings with a desire for perspective. But if sexual relations are established, then the emphasis in them on yourself or on your beloved is also indicative. Guys should not have selfishness in sex - after all, he also gets what he deserves from his partner’s pleasure.
Respect. Reviews of your wife in society, regardless. whether she is nearby or not, listening to her opinion, taking into account her interests - all this is of the same field. Criticism and harsh words addressed to the missus will not be expressed even at home, when there are no witnesses to this. And respect is shown.
Delight. Compliments, flowers as a sign of feelings, even rude flattery is possible. The ways of showing emotions depend on the character of the gentleman himself, but the fact is that they should be there.

The entire human culture speaks about whether men know how to love. Weren't they the ones who covered kilometers of paper with sonnets, odes and other highly emotional works? Aren't they the ones who put their heroines on a pedestal? Let’s not talk about the fact that they often overthrow them from there - usually it’s still different representatives currents. Sculpture, music, painting, literature - which art form does not mention a man's passion for a woman? Described in all colors and nuances. Even in black and white movies, she splashes with colorful emotions. Does a person know how to love if he can describe this feeling so sincerely, deeply and fully?

Perhaps the question is not so much whether they feel this absorbing state or not, but whether women can see it, understand it, and, most importantly, appreciate it. Sometimes ladies want so much to see something of their own, inspired by books (female representatives have tried very hard to create their own stereotypes of love), films, they idealize so much love relationship that they do not see the real ones, but otherwise manifested. The loud words of the prince on a white horse are heard far and wide by everyone, but the gardener who grew a rose for his beloved, or the student who named a star in her honor - do they love less? Or their voice is not so audible, because it seems to be completely absent.

Some women strive to extract a declaration of love from their partner faster than to awaken it. How you can't have a baby earlier due date, you can’t enjoy something that hasn’t grown yet. If a lady is interested in an object, she is quite capable of helping him fall in love with himself, and only then expect manifestations of love and serenades under the balcony.

Very often, the expectations of both sides lead to the fact that feelings under this pressure do not have time to form and develop. Without understanding each other, people lose the strength to try to understand, end up in conflicts and scandals, and put themselves on a pedestal around which their partner must dance in circles. In general, all people are very different, but this leaves hope - you can find just such a person who will be understandable and whom you want to understand.

The history of irreconcilable opposition between the sexes is as old as the history of mankind. Women and men constantly argue and compete with each other in different aspects of life. Especially many contradictions arise in the area personal relationships. Women in particular are trying to understand whether men can love.

Types of love

It is difficult to answer the question of whether a man truly loves. After all, love is diverse. Here are the types of this feeling identified by psychologists and philosophers:

Eros is passionate love based on sexual instinct.
Philia is love based on spiritual kinship.
Storge is a kind, gentle attitude that presupposes support and complete mutual understanding.
Agape is self-sacrifice for the sake of love.
Pragma is love under the control of the mind.
Mania is a feeling accompanied by intense jealousy bordering on obsession.
Philautia is love for another person formed through love for oneself.

A little about male love

In order to understand whether a man can love, it is worth understanding how the character of the strong half of humanity was formed. Since ancient times, men have played the role of breadwinner and protector. The atmosphere of hunting and war made him tough and strong, but not gentle at all. It is this kind of firmness (and even rudeness) that makes women think that the stronger sex is incapable of love. But is it?

A man sees love a little differently than a woman. First of all, attachment to a woman and family is manifested in providing everything necessary, giving confidence in tomorrow, give a feeling of security. Affections, romance - all this fades into the background. If a man does not show you tenderness, this does not indicate “lack of love.” Perhaps he is simply insecure or too shy. But feeling the return on your part, he will not be afraid to be soft and affectionate.

Male conqueror

Can a man love? This feeling is characteristic of any person, regardless of gender and age. But the manifestation can be completely different. Considering that, due to historical patterns, a man’s personality is warlike, the process of “conquest” is important for him. It's about courtship.

Men, as a rule, take a responsible approach to candy-bouquet period. To get the woman he likes, a representative of the stronger sex will make every effort, be attentive and inventive. But when the “victim” is already entangled in love networks, the man changes dramatically. The gentle romantic prince becomes passive and even indifferent to some extent.

The secret is simple. The hunter knows that the “prey” will not escape him. She already belongs entirely to him. So why continue to be active? Knowing this psychological feature men, wise women do not allow gentlemen to relax, forcing them to wage a continuous struggle for a lady’s heart.

How do you know if a man loves you?

Women are often overcome by doubts about the feelings of their chosen one. Sometimes, even living together does not give a clear answer. How do you know if the man you love loves you? This can be understood by the following signs:

Help. A loving man strives to protect his lady from any problems. This applies not only to some global difficulties, but also to ordinary routine issues of an everyday nature. Moreover, a loving man does not need to beg. He himself knows what needs to be done to make life easier for the lady of his heart.
Care. It would seem that opening the door, letting a lady go forward, offering a hand, bringing a heavy bag is basic rules decency. But today men do not spray their politeness and care on everyone. But if a gentleman surrounds you with such signs of attention, be sure that he is not indifferent to you.
Support. If a man is interested in your hobbies, respects your views on life, helps you realize your desires and plans, do not doubt his feelings.
New accents. Pay attention to whether the man's lifestyle has changed after meeting you. If he spends less time with friends, in bars or at the stadium, and spends it with you, we may well be talking about a strong feeling.
Respect. A loving man will not be rude to a woman, will not belittle her merits, and will not reproach her for mistakes. Moreover, a person should behave this way not only in the presence of his beloved, but also when she is not around.

Why does a man love one and marry another?

Do men love their wives? As practice shows, not always. Sometimes a person lives his whole life with an unloved wife, secretly dreaming of another. Why is this happening?

To be like everyone else. IN modern society To this day, negative stereotypes persist about people who have not started a family by the age of 30. Fearing condemnation, a man rushes to get married. But when he meets true love, he is already tied by marriage.
Too pretty. Raising his beloved to the skies, a man may be embarrassed to admit his feelings, fearing to be rejected. As a result, he connects his life with a less remarkable girl for whom he has no feelings.
A mistake of youth. Youthful impulse makes people act recklessly. For example, early marriage. Over time, feelings may go away, but not everyone decides to leave an unhappy marriage.
Slowness. Being sincerely confident that his love will not go anywhere, a man can delay recognition for a long time. In the meantime, a woman can find her happiness with someone else (more determined).
No match. Men have a developed class stereotype. And if the prince can still marry Cinderella, then a man of middle income will most likely not dare to confess his feelings to a woman from high society.
"Mom said". If parents have power over a man, they can influence his life choices. In this case, feelings, as a rule, remain on the sidelines.

Do men love their wives?

It is believed that a wedding is the happiest day in the life of the newlyweds. But with the passage of time family life many problems arise. In particular, many wonder whether he loves married man your spouse for real? If in the family constant quarrels and mutual dissatisfaction, if there is infidelity, then why does the spouse not decide to divorce? There are two main explanations for this:

Men are afraid of change. Oddly enough, with all their craving for adventure, the strong half of humanity needs stability. Men endure radical changes very painfully. In particular, those related to changes in marital status.
Comfort is important to men. Even if a person has a mistress, he is unlikely to leave a warm nest where everything is cleaned, cooked, washed and ironed. As a rule, “on the side” men do not make such demands on women.
Love should not be ruled out. Sincere feeling and affection are stronger than misunderstandings and troubles.

How to bring your husband to clean water

Even after being married for many years, many women cannot be completely sure whether men can love. Psychology will help lift the veil of secrecy. To understand whether your spouse loves you, use these tricks:

Waiting. Do not come when your spouse calls you. Do not unconditionally agree to all his proposals. Don't be the first to start a conversation. Make him wait. Loving person such changes are sure to alarm.
Healthy competition. Make your spouse suspect that he has a rival. Of course, there is no need to have affairs on the side. Just be beautiful, cheerful and blooming for no reason. If your husband loves you, he will certainly take measures to make you fall in love with him again.
Keep busy. Stay late at work or immerse yourself in a hobby. A loving man will appreciate even more the rare moments of spending time together.

How to keep a man's attention

There should be no doubt about whether a man can love. But feelings need to be warmed up. If you want your boyfriend to fall in love with you again and again, follow these rules:

Watch your appearance. It is important to keep your figure in shape, take care of your skin and hair, and dress beautifully. Moreover, you need to be at the peak not only in in public places, but also at home.
Watch your speech. Speak clearly, and most importantly, competently. Also watch the content of your speeches. A man will most likely not like gossip.
Keep your emotions in check. Don’t turn into a hysterical person who loses control of herself in any trouble.
Develop yourself. Try to grow in your career or find yourself a fashionable hobby. Also broaden your horizons by talking to smart people.

Women's opinion

Women have their own opinions about whether men know how to love. Here are the most common beliefs:

Men are capable of loving no less strongly than women. They're just not very emotional. Therefore, feelings are not always noticeable.
In fact, men are even more sensitive and vulnerable than women. But they are embarrassed by this, hiding their love under a mask of indifference.
Modern realities force people to push feelings into the background. Men are increasingly less likely to listen to their hearts.
Of course, there is a real strong man's love. But if it is not mutual, it causes a lot of problems.
A man's ability to sincere feelings largely depends on the woman who is next to him.
Love either exists or it doesn’t. And all these differences are invented by men themselves as an excuse.

Children's fairy tales about princesses and adults about successful ladies from the pages of glossy magazines are often shown to us beautiful story about love - insidious, romantic, sometimes unrequited and tragic, but always bright. And it is not surprising that every girl grows up with the dream of her own prince, albeit from a parallel class, but who will only protect her and only take care of her.

well and real life prepares its own surprises and surprises, love can lie in wait literally around the corner, and close person turn out to be the boy from next door, you just didn’t notice before that he has the most beautiful eyes in the world. But this feeling is not always mutual and not everyone knows how to understand whether a man loves you, or they confuse strong attraction with simple sympathy or a desire for intimacy.

Having fallen in love, a woman tries to understand herself, and first of all her emotions. Later, the key question becomes how to find out whether a man loves her, what his intentions and deepest thoughts are. Although they say that someone else’s soul is in darkness, with proper observation you can take a risk and try not to get lost in these darknesses.

Is there love in his heart?

How can you tell if a man loves you? You can notice the change already by his direct attitude during meetings. Thus, a lover will never stoop to humiliate the one who is dear to him. Moreover, he won’t slander her in the eyes of others either. Even if she is not around, he will never make fun of her person.

Hysterics, overt aggression, scenes of jealousy do not indicate real feelings. Some philosophers even said that jealousy is not a sign of love, but a kind of mental illness, caused by a feeling of possessiveness. That is, a person may not feel tenderness for his soulmate, but be severely jealous of her simply because he considers it his personal property. A loving man shows signs of his feelings differently, without causing pain. Otherwise, this is selfishness on his part, not love.

And also, if a guy truly loves, then he will not skimp on his girlfriend, and we're talking about not only about material goods, but also about attention. Spending evenings and walking with friends at night while a woman is alone waiting for him at home is not an option for a man in love.

Showing feelings

Attentiveness to your chosen one will tell you how to define love. A lover's ability to see much in little is surprisingly enhanced, and this applies exclusively to the object of adoration. Any nuances that are not noticeable at first glance are noticed, and this allows you to get to know your loved one more deeply, understand his thoughts and share interests.

A man who loves will always look for a meeting, and not run away under ridiculous pretexts, and his behavior can change dramatically - bragging and playing to the public next to his beloved are inappropriate, subconsciously the guy strives to be better, more gentle, more caring.

Wanting doesn't mean he loves

An important aspect that tells you how to understand whether a man loves you is his attitude towards sex. The one who protects and worries about you will never insist on intimacy, blackmail, put pressure on the psyche, but will give the woman a choice, because for a lover it is more important to be close, to hug, to hold your hand than to know that the girl simply succumbed to persuasion or threats to end the relationship.

Do gifts speak about real feelings?

Brought up on somewhat distorted examples of cheap melodramas and beautiful fairy tales From glossy magazines, girls often believe that various gifts - from a box of chocolates to a fashionable gadget - confirm the seriousness of a fan’s feelings. Does it show loving man signs of heartfelt affection exactly like that?

More likely yes than no, because you really want to sincerely please your soulmate with gifts and surprises. On the other hand, a wonderful alternative to gifts can be attention and the ability to turn a simple walk in the park into a holiday for two. Moreover, it is also possible that the guy simply wants to buy the girl or pays for her feelings.

Does a man love: verbal signs

Some people believe that real feelings do not require any words; for others, on the contrary, just beautiful phrases and ornate turns of phrase are confirmation of feelings, but what about in reality?

Speech is one of the simplest ways to show love, so a man who loves and knows that his chosen one is pleased to hear about the feeling will talk and talk, and it doesn’t matter at all whether he has the gift of eloquence.

Moreover, love gradually works miracles: if a person really wants to prove his thoughts in words, he will learn to put them into form in such a way that some poet will envy.

Support and Support

True love does not live without mutual support, a sincere desire to help and be needed, so a man experiencing this bright and strong feeling, will always strive to be there, become a support for the girl, take care of her and help solve her problems, regardless of her capabilities. Sometimes advice and understanding are enough to make the burden lighter, and the difficulties experienced together unite.

No ultimatums

How to understand whether a man loves you if he seems to want to be near you, but constantly or periodically confronts him with a choice that is unpleasant or impossible for a girl (for example, who would want to choose between best friend and guy).

Ultimatums do not confirm the feeling, but refute it, because the one who truly loves does not extort anything in return. He will wait patiently as long as necessary, hope and be somewhere nearby.

Treason

Leave tales about how a guy cheats in order to once again be convinced of the exclusivity of his beloved for naive fools. A man who does not doubt his feelings will never stoop to betrayal and will not be able to hurt the one who trusted him.

If the chosen one is married to someone else, he will not keep his beloved in the dark about his marital status or feed her empty promises, ultimately breaking several destinies at once.

Do men know how to love or not?

Disappointed ladies sometimes say in their hearts that the stronger sex is not capable of experiencing this feeling, but are they right in their rash judgments? No, love is not alien to anyone, and a man is quite capable of falling in love, worrying and not sleeping at night, writing poems and waiting under the windows until the morning, traveling hundreds and thousands of kilometers to be close to you for several hours, just holding your hand and enjoying your voice, look, smile. Only love turns existence into life, only it gives the energy of each day and the key to self-knowledge.