Child 3 years of education. Normal tantrums: how to deal with them? Raising children after the age of three

Hello my Dear friends. Today, the topic that we will try to consider from all sides is raising a child for 3 4 years, psychology advice. And immediately provocative question. Tell me, are you satisfied with yourself as a parent? Are you sure you are doing everything right? And do you know where you lead when you carry out educational measures? And in general, do you know how to educate?

Think about these questions ... And I honestly confess to you. I am not always satisfied with myself. Sometimes, I understand what is right, but all the same, the results are not quite the ones I led to. And in the end, I'm back at the very beginning of the journey. Therefore, the experience of each participant in our conversation is invaluable. I would be grateful for comments.

First, let's talk about how wonderful this time is - 3-4 years! Let's look at it through the eyes of the baby and from the side of his parents. Then we will consider what tasks are facing adults who have a three-year-old toddler. And most importantly, we will learn how to properly relate to changes in the behavior of babies.

The best period for kids and their parents

3-4 years can be safely called the golden age. Children can already do a lot, which makes their parents incredibly happy: they talk, move independently, a lot and often repeat after adults, but already in many of their actions character and willpower appear, and their development has advanced quite a lot over the past six months, games are more like solving difficult problems. puzzles and they are all interesting.

This is the general picture. Naturally, babies are different, and the characteristics of babies, and their abilities at different levels. And yet, if we talk about this age, then the situation is approximately as follows. But there is something that is the same for all three-year-olds, this is their perception of the world, that we surround the baby. And at this time, the main thing is to understand what the needs of children are and how to satisfy them.

We will answer the same question from different points of view: what is this child like, and what kind of training should he be given in order to raise a quality person.

"Who am I?"

I invite you to become Mary Poppins for a moment to be able to understand the speech of children and their outlook on life.

From the very first moment, as soon as the baby opened her eyes in the morning, she saw warm sun, mother's affectionate smile, heard tender words. He was told how well he would have a day today. And, the only thing he understood was that his mother's voice is kind, which means that everything is fine in the family. He heard the key words: "eat", "walk", "Egor's friend", "dad". And in his head woke up one after another picture. From each of them he involuntarily becomes happy.

"Who is this little one?"

Let's look at the little man through the eyes of a parent. A new day begins. Let's drop all the hassle: feed, clothe, put to bed, etc. Let's leave what mother sets today for the goal - the upbringing of independence. Mom sees that the baby understands everything, reacts correctly to everything. Therefore, he decides to instill new knowledge and skills in the little one.

It is commendable when adults have a plan, a program according to which they work with children. But what is it based on? You have noticed that the kitten itself is full of emotions and feelings. He passes everything through the prism: good-bad. Another basis is And vision of the world in images and pictures.

Deciding to teach something to a three-year-old baby, you need to take this into account. That is, if you want to explain something, then you should resort not to logic and facts, but to feelings (pain, regret, fun, good) and qualities (brave, kind). Another one of your lifesaver for parents in teaching their crumbs - sensory education(not only speak, but also give a try, use the baby's sensations and perceptions).

A little unusual, right? You may need to change something about yourself and your approach first, but it's worth it. And it will bear fruit very soon.

What you should never do is to think that the child is too small, and therefore it is not worth "spoiling" him with his upbringing. Or we'll never be late, we'll start when the little one is in go to school. And now let him "rest" from moralizing. But is this position correct? Let's talk!

The value of quality education

What do you understand by education? Corner? Belt? moralizing? All this refers to punishment, and in no way corresponds to the intention to help. It is necessary to act in 3 directions: to teach, instruct and correct. What and how?

Moral. It is at this age, when one's feelings are so clear, that one can show that other people also have feelings. They can be upset and happy. So the baby begins to understand that he can act in someone's interests, take care of someone. This social moral training is the basis for raising a crumb to be a responsible and attentive person.
Ecological. It seems so difficult to explain to a little one that nature needs to be protected. After all, he does not understand what nature is, and how to protect it, and why to do it. But it is in 3-4 years that you should pay attention to the basics environmental education. To do this, you need to use simple and understandable truths. For example, fish give us water to wash and drink. And if you take a lot of water, there will not be enough water for the fish. Pity the fish. This is how a girl or a boy in the first stages, thinking about the fish, will save water. He will grow up, and we will be able to supplement his knowledge.
Patriotic. How to explain to a toddler that this is his land, his homeland, country and people are his fellow citizens? This is also part of another instruction, spiritual and moral. Trust me, it's easy. Moreover, this pre-school “education” also includes a story about the traditions and customs of our country, and it cultivates respect for people, his compatriots. Guessed? Yes! This is reading. And the books are the favorite of the little one - folk tales! He will take all the necessary information from himself, like a sponge absorbs. You can only slightly mark the right moments to concentrate the attention of the crumbs.
Physical education. Probably, for our kids it will be the most favorite lesson. That's when they can jump and run to their heart's content. And our task is to direct their energy into the system. That is, show the exercises, and help them perform.
Labor. Even very small crumbs are able to do something on their own. Of course, this “something” should be so simple that the little one can master it. To do this, parents can prepare in advance, find a simple task and ask the kitten to do it. The kid will be happy!

Such multifaceted training can instill respectful attitude to people, caring for the Earth, pride in their people and country and instill good habits and skills.

It remains only to find time for all this. And a little more for myself to rest.

Baby needs and how to meet them

What do you think is important in education? So that the baby obeys you in everything? You know, my experience tells me that there is absolutely no such thing and cannot be. Then what is important?

For me, this is understanding! I strive with all my might to understand my little one, to comprehend what his psychology of behavior is. And I hope that then it will be easier for him to understand me.

So, in any conflict, when the baby does not obey, I know for sure that there is a reason for this. I don't know her yet. But, if I can talk to the baby, I will definitely find out what's wrong. Then quarrels can be avoided. But what if the little one is psychotic and does not go to the meeting? Is it necessary to insist that he share his unfortunate misfortune?

Do not hurry. You need to wait until the little one cools down, and his sense of the situation will not be so sharp. That's when you can talk. More the best option- discuss everything before going to bed, remembering what happened and how it was necessary to act.

If the baby, even before going to bed, perceives the conversation too emotionally, then it is better to use it, in which the same conflict occurs with dinosaurs or dolls, any characters that your child really likes. And then he will listen with pleasure and absorb how they behave, how they resolve the conflict, take their model of behavior. Agree, we, adults, also sometimes do not like it when they say that we did wrong. In the case of a fairy tale, it seems that it’s not you who are doing it wrong, but the dinosaur. Thus, you remove the emotional block of information perception.

Do not forget that trusting relationship with a child are built at this age. To the child and school years he told you about all his problems, conflicts, it is important

And one more important point, which takes into account wise parents when they instruct the baby. We will talk about the plane in which the child perceives any information.

Remember the classics. It is rightly said there, the baby is interested in "what is good and what is bad." That is, the baby’s view of the world is painted only in 2 colors: black and white. And there is not even a gray layer. It's too early for him to see other colors of the rainbow. But the fact that little man so clearly captures the difference between good and evil, you can take advantage of. It is easy to explain that he upset dad or mom, or made them happy with something, etc.

I will not talk about tantrums in this article, since we have already discussed this topic in a separate article:

It seems that I have named all the most basic principles. If you forgot something, or you have something to add to the article, write! Subscribe to blog news! And I'm always glad to see that the topic I raised is needed and interesting! So go to the blog, read and share with your friends!

A three-year-old child is already beginning to form a personality. Features of the behavior of children and their psychology during this period is denoted by the term "crisis of the age of three." Raising a three-year-old requires special patience and attention from parents. The specificity of his upbringing does not imply the use of excessive severity and an abundance of prohibitions, otherwise the child himself, having matured, will become too capricious, demanding and pedantic. The kid should not be humiliated and beaten, but he should be allowed to feel equality with adults.

Why do children not obey at three years old?

For selection right tactics education, you need to understand what is behind the bad behavior of the baby. At the same time, it is worth dismissing any gender differences in behavior, since they simply do not exist at this age, and the reasons for disobedience are about the same. Psychologists use the term "frustration" to refer to mental condition when all the desires of a person in full cannot be satisfied. The child gradually understands that not everything can turn out according to his desire, much is inaccessible to him, he is forced to obey something, and so he gradually grows up.
Every sensitive, observant parent perfectly understands his child and knows when the baby is naughty simply because he wants to satisfy his desire, and when the cause of disobedience is something else: problems in kindergarten that the baby is afraid to reveal to parents, malaise, etc. .
Here are the main reasons why 3-4 year olds misbehave:

Fight for parental attention.
The baby's attempt to assert itself, as a counteraction to too tight parental care. Already two-year-olds are striving for independence, as evidenced by their incessant babbling "I myself." Parents from better feelings trying to impose their own point of view on him. The child perceives this criticism “with hostility” and seeks to counteract it with his disobedience.
Desire for revenge. There are situations when parents, often without even wanting to, cause suffering to the baby (mother made him finish eating his unloved porridge, and even hid the baby’s favorite toy).
Loss of faith in one's own strengths. When a baby despairs or is disappointed in something, his behavior may become inadequate.

What is behind parental restrictions?

The ban can be compared with a kind of border set in front of the baby for his own protection. Prohibitions play an important educational role, helping to form children's perception of reality. They must learn to understand that there are times when you need to stop acting up, what you can and cannot do, and how to behave with dignity among people. It is clear that all children do not like the prohibitions of their parents too much, they react to them with irritation, protest, resentment, anger. However, one must be firm, knowing that psychologically they are important for faithful upbringing. It’s a paradox, but even thanks to the prohibitions, the child feels parental care which calms and disciplines him.
IN modern society often there are situations when brought up under large numbers prohibitions, parents, raising their children, try to allow them absolutely everything. Another common mistake is the opposite phenomenon, when parents forbid their kids too much, almost everything. Under these conditions, an indecisive, timid, timid child grows up, because he has formed a behavioral stereotype - to receive parental approval for any “sneeze”. In order to avoid such problems when raising a baby, parents should learn for themselves that each prohibition must have a reason and motivation. After all, the child should be clear why it is impossible to do so in a certain situation, and what consequences his act can cause.
Based on the reasons, all prohibitions can be divided into unconscious and conscious.

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Conscious prohibitions

It is possible to classify as conscious those prohibitions by which the elders seek to protect the child from something. For example, in order to avoid a sore throat, my mother forbade eating ice cream.

This also includes prohibitions that, according to parents, develop discipline in children, since without them the form of education is incomplete (there is pampering, permissiveness, whims, etc.).

Unconscious prohibitions

In unconscious prohibitions, the root causes often lie in the past and are more complex. Habit can also be the cause of unconscious inhibitions.

Many mothers and fathers continue to use the same parenting methods as their parents, who at one time forbade them a lot. Therefore, now, out of inertia, they forbid the same to their children.

This may be mixed with envy of the younger generation: if it was not available to us in our childhood, then you do not need to have it either.

Often behind the prohibitions are the feelings and emotions of parents, their irritation and resentment. Then the prohibition acts as a punishment: “Since you did not do as I ordered, then new toy you won't get it!"

Parents' anxiety can also lead to prohibitions, especially when they seek to surround the child with excessive care, if only nothing happened to him!

But by forbidding a 3-4-year-old baby anything in a judgmental tone, parents do big mistake, because at this time the child feels only annoyance, shame, guilt. Such emotions will only negatively affect his upbringing.

Psychology of education of 3-4-year-old children

To choose the right vector for raising three-four-year-olds, you need to take into account key points their development during this period. At this time, curiosity awakens, and endless “why?” Are pouring in, capable of infuriating any adult. But all his questions must be answered specifically, without going into details. If the adult himself does not know the answer, then you can not hesitate to tell the baby about it, promising to find the answer soon.
If the child went to kindergarten, and there he had difficulties with adaptation, then adults should help him overcome them. First you need to find out the reason (shyness, shyness, jealousy), and then choose tactics proper communication with peers - whether to share toys with them or, conversely, stand up for yourself. If the problem cannot be solved, and it becomes deeper, then you should contact a child psychologist.
Psychology family education three or four years old should take into account the changes that the child's psyche undergoes in the process of growing up. The child has new feelings: shame, resentment, irritation, sadness, with which he cannot cope on his own, which is why it happens that he behaves badly. At such moments, it is important to support the baby, explaining to him that all his experiences are absolutely normal. It is necessary to convey to the baby that it is more appropriate to express your feelings in words, and not in bad behavior. The child needs to be praised more often, because he acutely feels the lack of praise. He should be punished only according to the case and in such a way that he knows why. You can praise him for his great diligence and achievements in any business. Even if the behavior of the child is not pleasing, he should always be told that he is loved.

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Features of raising children according to their temperament

Parents at some point sometimes notice that children can react differently to the same events: they listen to some remarks calmly, others begin to indulge and be naughty even more, and there are those who arrange real tantrums and a storm of disobedience. Therefore, the same educational approach cannot be mechanically applied to all children, since each baby has its own temperament. Taking into account the type of temperament, you can pick up the key to anyone, even to yourself. naughty kid. If a 3-4-year-old baby is raised incorrectly, his temperament is not taken into account, then you can not only meet disobedience and problems, but in the future his personality can completely degrade.
When a child is often scolded and even beaten, then growing up and becoming an adult, he often finds himself subject to bad addictions (nicotine, alcohol, drugs). Such people have problems communicating both with peers and with people of other ages.
Psychologists distinguish 4 types of character temperament:

choleric;

sanguine;

phlegmatic people;

melancholic.

Almost no real character falls exclusively under any type of temperament, their combinations in different proportions are much more common. The dominance of one or another type of temperament is determined by the variant parental communication with baby. Toddlers with different temperaments react differently to similar situations, which is especially pronounced in cases of any failures.

Sanguine children

The easiest way to educate sanguine people, who most often good mood. In sanguine children, the following features can be noted:

there are no mood swings, and even an upset baby will not fall to the floor, will not roar and kick with his feet;

sanguine people are mobile, always aiming to interact with something, to run somewhere;

they have high self-esteem and strong nervous system;

they quickly fall asleep, and wake up easily, which also characterizes the work of their nervous system.

But even these seemingly ideal children are not without flaws. So, sanguine people love to cheat, and if they do not want to do something, then it is almost impossible to force them.
Parents of sanguine children make a mistake when they take their children at their word - so they will only follow their lead. If you do not pay enough attention to these moments, then a swindler and a liar may well grow out of a child. To not have similar consequences, parents must follow the line of education, where the child must fulfill parental requirements. This should be done without notations and shouting, but calmly. Another common mistake made by parents of young sanguine children is excessive praise.. If even such balanced children with good self-esteem are excessively praised, then they can “grab an asterisk”.

melancholic children

The melancholy type of temperament refers to those that require most attention. Such unusually receptive children are very easy to offend and upset, and yelling at them is the same as arranging a physical execution. This type is characterized the following features:

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fast fatiguability;

difficult adaptation to new conditions;

increased sensitivity.

When raising a melancholic, blunders are public censure and punishment for poor academic performance. For the melancholic, self-learning in large team is already creating stressful situation, so it main task in kindergarten and elementary grades of the school, adaptation to one's group or class becomes, and only then are there successes in mastering academic disciplines.

Phlegmatic children

Calm and balanced phlegmatic, whose hallmarks are:

slowness;

unemotionality;

willingness to oversleep 10-12 hours a day.

When educating a phlegmatic, mistakes are passive pastime with him and verbally conveying requirements to him. It is better for him to show everything by his own example. If its development is not actively engaged, then it will remain "a stone under which water does not flow."

Choleric children

Cholerics can be called the engines of progress, who constantly need to do something, run somewhere, although they easily give up any business without finishing it. The main features of choleric:

mobility, activity, noise;

emotionality;

restless sleep.

It is very important to properly educate a choleric person so that he does not grow up overly emotional and even aggressive, from which it is not far to antisocial behavior. When raising choleric children, parents often make mistakes, showing them excessive guardianship and care, as well as aggression. On the contrary, with a choleric person you need to behave in a balanced way, even despite the fact that he screams and plays pranks. It is impossible to suppress him, but it is more effective to respond to his whims in a calm tone. You can’t indulge his requirements either, but you should impose your life principles, adhere to reasonable prohibitions and long-term agreements.

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At 3 years old, the child still pleases, surprises and amuses his parents, but he no longer succeeds in impressing adults the way he did in the first months of life. So, earlier mom and dad admired everything, from the first smile to the first steps and the first word, as if the child had made an unprecedented achievement. And at the age of 3, parents get used to the fact that the baby already knows a lot, is actively developing and does not require such control and care as before. The result - albeit unconscious, but a decrease in attention. Naturally, the child notices this, and in accordance with this, certain new features of his behavior appear, which are characteristic of three-year-olds.

The relationship between an adult and a child becomes unstable. The initiator of quarrels and conflicts is mainly the child. His mood is fickle, he alternately experiences joy and sadness, boredom and emotional overexcitation.

At the age of 3, a baby begins to realize that the world does not revolve around him alone and his parents, for whom for long months he was the most important and important man in the world, he has his own affairs, his own conversations, where he may not be allowed. This understanding infuriates the baby, makes him angry, lose control of emotions, yearn and try to return everything to its place.
Such features of the behavior of a baby at 3 years old can be characterized simply: This is the crisis of the third year of life.

A crisis - difficult period in the life of the child and his family, but he will definitely pass. That is why parents need to be prepared for its manifestations, to work out for themselves right line behavior and try to postpone the kindergarten, which can only aggravate the situation.

About the features of the three-year crisis

"Crisis" as a concept in psychology does not have a negative message. Quicker we are talking about a short-term active visible period, during which rapid changes occur with a person's personality. A crisis does not appear suddenly. Personality changes are piling up
for a long time and when the time comes, the restructuring of consciousness and personality begins, in this case- a three-year-old child.

A crisis is a necessary transition from one stage of a child's development to the next. Therefore, it cannot be avoided. Another thing is that the crisis manifests itself in each case individually. One child reacts sharply and painfully to changes, the other experiences new stage his life is relatively calm.

At 3 years old, when the development of the baby passes to new level Crisis is the moment when a new, full-fledged personality is born. It was at this time that the psychology of the baby allows him to realize himself as an independent person, learn to accept the norms of social behavior, feel for the boundaries of what is permitted. During such a period, a small person begins to build new system relationships with the environment and people.

The duration of the crisis, as well as the degree of its intensity, will have a direct relationship with the behavior of adults and their reaction to the behavior of the child.
The main features of the behavior of babies characteristic of this age period will be described below.
Negativism is one of the main manifestations of the crisis

Under the influence of negativism, the baby begins to behave in an unusual way for parents. Its peculiarity is the refusal to do so, as adults ask him, often even against his will and only because he does not want to fulfill requests.

In especially difficult situations, when the child's negativism is bright and peremptory, communication with him can come to a standstill. The kid will say and do everything in reverse, without thinking about whether he really wants it, and about the consequences of such behavior.

Often adults believe that negativism is another manifestation of disobedience. Actually it is not. The psychology of a child's disobedience implies his refusal to fulfill orders or demands from adults just because he does not want to do something, is busy with something more important to him, or is simply simply lazy. In the case of negativism, the baby opposes the will of adults, even to the detriment of personal desires, regardless of the content of the request.

It is worth noting a certain feature of negativism - its selectivity. This means that at 3 years old, the baby resists the orders and requests of only some adults, for example, one of the parents or both at once. At the same time, with other representatives the world of adults, kids get along well and are happy to make contact, fulfilling requests and instructions.

A powerful provoking factor in the manifestation of acute negativism is a tough authoritarian manner of dealing with a child. Each time, listening to comments in a commanding tone, the baby may refuse obedience, defending the principled position of a person independent of decrees.

Being stubborn during a crisis

What is hidden in the psychology of a stubborn baby? Usually such children insist on their own every time just to defend their opinion, and not at all because they are interested in it. So, for example, when a mother calls the baby for breakfast in the morning, he can stubbornly refuse this, despite the fact that he already hungry. Thus, the child wants to prove to himself and adults that he is quite adult and independent and can make his own decisions.

Parents in such situations trying to suppress the "I" of the child will only harm him. Using authority, and sometimes force, adults exacerbate the manifestation of stubbornness, leaving the child no chance to find a way out of the situation without losing personal dignity.

About manifestations of obstinacy and self-will

Many people confuse the concepts of "negativism" and "obstinacy". In fact, this is far from the same thing. Unlike negativism, obstinacy is not associated with any specific person. Usually obstinate children protest against everything that surrounds them, from the daily routine to the menu and the choice of a place for walking.

Thus,
a rebel is born in a little man who does not want to live the way he lived before, and with all his heart longs for change. As in the case of stubbornness, obstinacy is more pronounced in children who are brought up in a tough manner by adults.

Willfulness is a child's sincere desire to do everything on his own, and it doesn't matter to him whether he copes with the task or not. The manifestation of self-will at three years - normal phenomenon. That is how, trying himself in different fields of activity, sooner or later the baby will learn to be independent.

Revolt and depreciation - additional manifestations of the crisis

These symptoms of the crisis are not as pronounced as the previous ones, and not in all cases. Rebels are usually especially sensitive children who cannot
during this period, find a common language with adults, primarily with parents, therefore they provoke conflicts on their own.

Often riots are accompanied by depreciation, as a result of which things, people, and norms of behavior that were once important for him lose value for the baby. The kid can consciously pronounce abusive words in public, have a bad attitude towards toys and personal things, both his own and those of his parents, call names, refuse to sleep in his room or on his bed, and so on.

On the manifestation of despotism

Children who do not have sisters and brothers in the family often become despots during the crisis of three years. Raised in an excess of love and care, such children want everything to remain as it was, therefore their main goal is to subjugate adults who will
fulfill their every whim. In such a baby's goal is to become the main person in the family who will dictate his own rules.

So, summing up, we note that the crisis is a difficult period, primarily for the children themselves. Conflicting with loved ones, defending his opinion, overestimating values, the baby wants one thing: to become an independent person whom parents will trust in all respects.

Faced with misunderstanding and unwillingness of adults to trust, kids protest. Naturally, parents should understand the psychology of babies during this period and carefully choose reliable and effective tactics of behavior.

What do parents need to know?

The most important thing is not to try to suppress the “I” of the baby with the help of threats, and even more so physical strength, humiliating
punishments. The more parents try to suppress the child's personality, the more he will resist them.

You need to understand that at 3 years old, children are especially active psychosexual development. Babies begin to realize their gender which in some way affects their relationship with others.

During this period, the attitude of the child to the mother is contradictory. The kid feels aggression, shows stubbornness and at the same time needs her support and closeness. It is not surprising that it is at this time that the baby may deliberately try to offend his mother in order to check whether she will love him after bad deeds or not.

If the mother's reaction to such behavior is punishment or reprimand, then the child will feel unhappy, unloved, which, in turn, will increase the manifestation of the above qualities.

To calm the baby in this difficult life period, you can offer him games:

All these entertainments will help the baby relieve stress, cheer him up and distract him from sad thoughts. It will also be great to arrange impromptu fights with the child with pillows or balls made of paper, foam rubber, light plastic, during which he will be able to get rid of the feeling of aggression.

An important stage in the completion of the crisis at 3 years old will be the ability of the baby to control his impulses, accepting himself as a person.

How should parents behave?

The main mistake of adults during the crisis of 3 years is to communicate with children as with adults. Parents
they firmly believe that since a child can speak, it means that he is able to understand what is being explained to him.

As a result, they begin to tell him what to do and what not to do, to give logical arguments, to convince him in the way that they would convince an adult. In fact, it is not at all necessary to give arguments justifying the ban. If there is a ban, then it should be permanent and not depend on anything.

Consequences of negligent attitude to the problems of the crisis of three years

If adults do not show understanding during the difficult period of growing up a child, he is likely to be disappointed not only in the family, but also in the whole world around him, with which the relationship with the crumbs can be seriously upset.

If the baby has a brother or sister, to whom the parents will be forced to devote a lot of time, you will need to try not to deprive him of attention, attaching him to the care of the newborn.

It is believed that 3 years is the most right time for registration of the kid in kindergarten. Actually this is not true. experiencing difficult moments in their lives, kids can correlate such an act of parents with betrayal and hold anger and resentment on them.

It will be necessary to talk with the child about whether he really wants to go to kindergarten now, whether he is attracted by the prospect of new acquaintances, spending time outside the home, and then draw the appropriate conclusions and appoint suitable date for this important event.

For each loving parent The appearance of a child in the family is a great joy and boundless happiness. Every year the child grows, develops, learns new things, he develops a character, others happen. age-related changes. However, the joy of parents is sometimes replaced by bewilderment and even confusion that they experience during the inevitable generational conflicts. It will not be possible to avoid them, but to smooth it out is quite real. Special attention psychologists and educators urge to pay 3-4 years of life to the upbringing and development of the child.
A question that dozens of experts are working on
The formation of personality and the maturation of character occurs from the very moment a person is born. Every day, the baby learns the world around him, forms relationships with others, realizes his meaning and place, and in parallel with this, he has quite natural desires and needs. This development does not go smoothly, and critical situations and conflicts occur with a certain frequency and have similar moments at each age. This is what allowed psychologists to form such a concept as age crises. Not only for young parents, but also for grandparents who consider themselves experienced, it will not hurt to find out what the upbringing of a child (3-4 years old) is all about. Psychology, expert advice and recommendations from those who have experienced these tips will help smooth out the clashes of the crumbs with representatives of the adult world.
Testing parents for strength
At the age of three and four, a little man is no longer an object doing everything at the behest of adults, but a fully formed separate person, with his own emotions and desires. Sometimes these desires do not at all coincide with the established adult rules, and, trying to achieve their goal, the child begins to show character, or, as adults say, to be capricious. There can be any reason: the wrong spoon for food, the wrong juice that you wanted a minute ago, an unpurchased toy, and so on. For parents, these reasons seem insignificant, and the only way they see is to overcome the desire of the crumbs, to force him to do as they want and are used to doing. Raising children 3-4 years old sometimes requires simply incredible patience of others.
Is your child three years old? Stock up on patience
Awareness of oneself as part of the world does not go smoothly for the child, and this is quite normal. Realizing that he is also a person, the kid is trying to understand what he can do in this world and how he should act in each individual case. And these tests begin with a test for the strength of the parents. After all, if they say what needs to be done, why shouldn't he, the most important person in the family, give orders? And then they listen! He begins to change, his worldview and habits change. At this time, parents notice that their baby is not only listening and crying, but is already commanding them, demanding this or that object. This period is called the crisis. three years. What to do? How to cope with the most beloved little man and not offend him? Features of raising children 3-4 years old directly depend on development.
Causes of conflicts, or how to smooth out the crisis
At present, adults pay little attention to their children: a busy work schedule, everyday life, problems, loans, important matters do not leave the opportunity to just play. Therefore, the child tries to attract attention. After several attempts to talk to mom or dad, he goes unnoticed and, therefore, starts to play around, scream, throw tantrums. After all, the child does not know how to build a dialogue correctly, and begins to behave in the way that he knows how, so that they would quickly pay attention to him. It is in understanding the needs of the crumbs that the upbringing of a child (3-4 years) largely lies. Psychology, advice and recommendations of specialists will help to understand and, accordingly, solve problems associated with a lack of attention.
Just like an adult
Often parents, unwillingly, cause the child to negative emotions: forced to sleep when you want to play, eat "not very tasty" soup, put away your favorite toys, go home from a walk. Thus, the baby has a desire to harm adults and express his protest. children 3-4 years old should be held at a constant good example by adults.
Patience is the key to success
During this period, parents realize that their child has already matured, but still remains small and cannot cope with all the tasks on his own. And when the baby strives to be independent, the parents now and then correct him, pull him up, teach him. Of course, he takes criticism with hostility and protests with everyone. possible ways. Mom and dad need to be patient and be as gentle as possible in relation to the child. Raising children of 3-4 years old lays the foundation for relationships between kids and others for life. It depends on the parents what these relationships will be.
Raising children 3-4 years old
The psychology of behavior is a whole science, but in relation to children it is necessary to study at least its basic principles.
The child imitates the behavior of the adults around him. Naturally, first of all, he takes an example from his parents. We can say that at this age, the baby absorbs everything like a sponge. He has not yet formed his own concepts of good and bad. It's good the way parents behave. If everyone in the family communicates without shouting and scandals, the child also chooses a calm tone for his behavior and tries to copy his parents. Find mutual language with children of 3 and 4 years old it is necessary in a soft manner, unobtrusively, without raised tones.
As often as possible, you need to show your love for the child, because children are very sensitive and vulnerable creatures. Their whims, misdeeds, bad behavior should not affect the degree of love of parents - just love and do not demand anything in return. a child of 3-4 years old is only a reminder for parents, the experience of predecessors. You need to feel your child with your heart, and not bring up the way it is written in the book.
Do not compare your child's behavior with the behavior of other children, and even more so do not say that he is worse than someone else. With this approach, self-doubt, complexes and isolation can develop.
The child is trying to be independent, more and more often you can hear the phrase “I myself” from him, at the same time he is waiting for support from adults and praise. Consequently, parents need to approve of children's independence (praise for the removed toys, for putting on clothes, etc.), but in no case follow the child's lead and determine the boundaries of what is permitted in time.
During the formation of the character and maturation of the child, it is important for parents themselves to observe certain rules, daily regime. Moms and dads, together with grandparents, need to agree on the same methods of education and not deviate from such tactics. As a result, the child will understand that not everything is possible for him - you need to obey general rules. The main children of 3-4 years old are determined by their parents, only you need to remember the importance of this age period.
Talk to a small person on an equal footing and behave the way you behave with adults. Do not infringe on his rights, listen to his interests. If the child is guilty, condemn his offense, not the child himself.
Hug your children as often as possible. With or without reason - so they will feel safe, grow up confident in themselves. The child will know that mom and dad love him no matter what.

Get ready to experiment
Parents should understand that raising a child (3-4 years old), psychology, advice and recommendations from specialists are all very important, but you should also determine for yourself those facets that will be allowed for the baby. At the age of 3-4 years, the little researcher is interested in everything: he can turn on the TV or gas stove himself, taste the earth from flower pot, climb on the table. This list can be continued for a very long time, three-year-olds and four-year-olds are quite curious, and this is absolutely normal. On the contrary, it is worth alerting when the child does not show such interest in the environment. However, it is necessary to determine what the child can experience for himself, and what will be a categorical ban.
Do you want to ban something? Do it right
Children should be informed about these prohibitions correctly, without unnecessary trauma for them. The child must understand when he crosses the boundaries of what is permitted, what he can and cannot do, how to behave with peers and in society. It is impossible not to set prohibitions, as a sweet child will grow up selfish and uncontrollable. But everything should be in moderation, a huge number of prohibitions on everything can lead to indecision and isolation. Try not to provoke conflict situations if the kid sees sweets, he, of course, wants to try them. Conclusion - put them further in the locker. Or he wants to take it in the same way - hide it. For a certain time, remove the objects especially desired by the child, and he will eventually forget about them. A lot of strength and patience requires during this period the upbringing of a child (3-4 years).
All parental prohibitions must be justified, the child must clearly understand why it is impossible to do one way or another.
We can say that after overcoming the crisis of three years, children experience noticeable positive changes in their character. They become more independent, focused on details, active, have their own point of view. Also, relations are moving to a new level, they become more meaningful, interest in cognitive and objective activity is shown.
Replenish your stocks of knowledge
The questions that the baby asks are sometimes capable of confusing even an adult who is confident in his education. However, this baby should not be shown in any case. Even the most "uncomfortable" questions should be taken for granted and be prepared to accessible to the child form to explain everything that interests him.
Raising a child is an important and main task of parents, you need to be able to notice changes in the character and behavior of the baby in time and respond to them correctly. Love your children, take the time to answer all their "whys" and "what for", show care, and then they will listen to you. After all, his whole life depends on the upbringing of a child at this age. adulthood. And remember: it is impossible to pass a practical exam on the topic “Psychology of raising children 3-4 years old” without mistakes, but it is up to you to reduce them to a minimum.

The three-year period is extremely important in the context of a child's development. It is at this time that a person acquires the skills of straight walking, and also learns to behave correctly with various subjects. Through contact with the outside world, the baby learns to memorize the names of objects, replenishing his lexicon. In addition, he acquires communication skills with adults, copying their behavior. Reproducing the actions of adults, the child begins to master creativity: he draws, collects various figures from the designer, etc. It helps in the development of thinking.

IN three years old the baby not only understands the meaning of his actions, but also learns to compare them with the behavior of adults. This process underlies the formation of the child's own thinking. In an effort to do a lot contrary to the wishes of an adult, the baby is not afraid to show self-will and stubbornness. At the same time, at the age of three, it is important for children not only to have the result of their activities, but also the recognition of this result by adults: parents and relatives.

Psychologists call this time in the development of the baby the crisis of three years. Since their rational beginning is not yet separated from the emotional one, the perception of children often begins to be guided by the situations in which they find themselves and those objects that are nearby. A negative feature of a child at this age is that personal desires can take on an exaggerated form in him. As for the child's perception of himself and his actions at the age of 3, at the age of three he can already realize what is actor in many situations. He compares how his behavior differs from that of adults. Thus, the baby learns to separate himself from others.

If we talk about the signs of the crisis of three years, then there are several of them:

Protest. 3 years is the age when a child tends to do many things against the will of adults. He categorically opposes the old rules and the way of life that he led in the early years. Children at the age of three often respond with a categorical refusal to the requests of their parents. For example, when parents offer a kid to go for a walk, he may answer “I don’t want to”. The same reaction can be observed to the offer to eat certain product. If the child is interested in this product and presented as forbidden, it is possible that the reaction will be diametrically opposite;

Negativism. The child reacts negatively to certain actions emanating from adults, especially in relation to him. Sometimes such self-will even reaches the so-called “protest-rebellion”, when the confrontation of the baby with others turns into a chronic conflict. In this case, he most often refuses, begins to swear, cry, or simply does not pay attention. And often such a reaction is observed in relation to one of the parents;

waywardness. The prevailing desire to do everything independently begins to determine the scope of the child's interests. The need to realize and assert one's "I" is very clearly manifested when the child categorically answers "I myself" to the parents' attempt to help. This formulation signals the psychological separation of the child from the adult. The kid often shows his character, shows a desire to do everything on his own, and sometimes even constantly acts against the will of his parents;

Stubbornness. The child wants to find his place in the family, to show that his opinion must be taken into account, and chooses the easiest way for this - to insist on something. But not always what the child requires, he wants. For example, he may demand a toy, scream, cry, kick his feet, and, as soon as he receives it, throw it away;

Depreciation. The child dramatically changes his attitude towards others, habits and even vocabulary, acquiring swear words. He teases, calls his parents names, is rude to adults, threatens;

Despotism. The child asserts his own power over others. Requires parents to do what he wants. If there are other children in the family, he will seek to push them away, to force his parents to pay attention only to him.

If these signs are present in the behavior of your child, we can say that he has begun a crisis of 3 years. Thus, the baby tests not only the patience of his parents, but also his own character, trying in such ways to probe the boundaries of what is permitted, to find out how far he can go and what they can forgive him. This is quite normal for children of this age, since it indicates the formation of a strong-willed character in them. However, parents must learn how to properly behave with their son or daughter in this case, so that the crisis of three years does not turn into further rampage and behavioral problems.

It is easier for a child to survive the crisis of 3 years in a family where democratic interaction between adults and children is established. However, even in such a system of relations, the child simply needs to engage in self-affirmation, forming his character. Parents should only clearly indicate for themselves in what situations they need to meticulously insist on the ban. At the same time, some prohibitions are so important that it can be detrimental to give in to them to the baby, first of all, for him. Then parents should be categorical. Since at this time the will is formed in the kids, it is very important that they understand the difference between the concepts of “I want” and “must”. Otherwise, parents will have to deal with laziness and disobedience in the future.

For parents who are facing a 3-year-old crisis with their children, there is consolation. Psychologists say that children who have not experienced this crisis often become inactive and weak-willed in adulthood. Therefore, it is worth considering the difficulties in the character of the child as a temporary, but important phenomenon for the formation of his personality. Parents who wish to limit the initiative of their children at the age of 3 by any means should remember that such actions are fraught with the development of complexes and self-doubt in the child. Punishing or ridiculing attempts to show the independence of your child, instead of a sense of autonomy, you form in him a sense of his own inferiority or inferiority.

When does the period end early childhood, the child's attitude towards adults changes dramatically. He begins to perceive them not only as acquaintances or strangers, but also as carriers social roles. So, people who for the most small child are simply designated as “mother” and “aunt”, a child at 3 years old is perceived differently. A kid can understand that a mother, for example, is also a teacher, and a woman previously perceived as an “aunt” is also someone’s mother and a representative of a certain profession.

Physiology of age

Brain growth rates are declining, but still remain high. The connections between the hemispheres have been strengthened, stimulating the interaction of creative and rational perception. Despite the almost completely completed process of brain development, inhibitory functions are practically absent, yielding to excitation. Because of this, the child often puts himself in danger by exploring the world, cannot sit still and keep attention on one subject for a long time.

The optimal height of a three-year-old child is 92 centimeters, and the weight is 15-16 kilograms. Head circumference is 47-48 centimeters, circumference chest- 52.5 centimeters. Arms and legs grow faster than the body, which leads to a change in its proportions. Due to this, the center of gravity shifts, and the child begins to walk better and faster. A set of muscle mass quickly occurs, the average weight of a child at 3 years old is 15 kilograms.

Children's age at 3 years indicates good color vision. But the eyes are a very sensitive organ, so adverse factors should be avoided: long watching TV or computer, poor lighting. Otherwise, it may lead to visual defects. The organs of hearing are fully formed, but you need to be careful, since otitis media is very common at this age, which leads to hearing loss.

Strengthening of cartilaginous tissue begins to occur, which prevails in the skeleton of a 3-year-old child. Due to the fact that he cannot sit in one place for a long time, there is no deformation of the bones, which can be expressed in incorrect posture, stoop, curvature of the arms and legs. The child is already trying to draw, but it is not easy for him. Since the muscles of the shoulder and forearm develop at this age, the child does not hold a pen or pencil with the still unformed muscles of the hands. Therefore, such classes do not last long - the baby gets tired, which is completely normal for this age.

The child's work stabilizes of cardio-vascular system. But arterial pressure it is much lower than that of an adult, since the vessels are not yet very elastic and flexible, and the vascular bed is very wide. There is an intensive development of the immunological apparatus. Despite the rapid development, the child can often get sick, the most common is an allergic reaction.

The metabolism is very fast, since the body needs to develop, and the child spends a lot of energy per day. Therefore, it is necessary to monitor the diet and prepare balanced meals. The most intensive development of the pancreas occurs.

The speech apparatus and vocabulary are also developing rapidly. Along with great curiosity, this leads to constant conversations, and the baby can often talk to himself, especially during the game. The child already knows how to separate himself from those around him, therefore, “I” or his own name often slips into his speech.

age statistics

The population of the Russian Federation in this age period(1-4 years) is 7223 thousand people. Of these, boys - 3708 thousand people, girls - 3515 thousand people.

You were born in 2015 or 2016

2015 - Jan. 7. A terrorist attack took place at the office of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo in Paris, based on an earlier cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed in the magazine. 12 people died, 11 people were injured.